Original subtitles

You, the pretty little girl. That's right, honey.

Thank you ever so much. The rest of you can leave.

I could swear he was looking at you.

All the way over from 10th Avenue, they don't even let you audition.

Least they could do is give you a chance.

Lillian, I want you to go over to that man, the one with the mustache...

...and thank him, see?

For giving you a chance to let him see you.

And tell him who you are and what you've done. Go on.

Hurry up now, go on.

I'm Lillian Roth. I'm 8 years old.

I do imitations and dramatic parts.

I was in The Inner Man with Wilton Lackaye for nine weeks.

I played Theda Bara as a child for Paramount.

My mama told me to thank you.

Lillian, darling.

The director's a very busy man. I can't imagine what possessed the child.

It's just that she wants so much to be an actress, you know.

Come along, darling.

Stage mothers. They're all alike.

- What did you stop for? - When, Mama?

When he said, "That little girl, come over," why didn't you go?

I told you a million times, you can't be shy in this business.

- But he wanted the pretty little girl. - There's no little girl prettier than you.

Are you a stage mother?

Don't you ever let me hear you say that again. You understand?

My baby.

I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it.

I love you, Lillie, baby.

Oh, look at your pretty dress.

I didn't mean it. Did I hurt you?

No. It's all right, it didn't hurt.

Next time, you'll get the job.

There'll be Broadway plays and Hollywood.

You'll be happy, successful, the best.

They'll ask for you. You won't have to push anymore.

Now it's different, darling. They gotta know who you are, see?

And we gotta show them.

And you have to believe that I know what's right.

And I love you.

I love you no matter what. All right?

Don't cry anymore.

It's nothing to cry about, honey.

Mama loves you.

Don't cry. Don't cry anymore.

Don't cry, baby. Enough already.

I'll tell you what, you could cry tomorrow, huh?

Sure. You wait until tomorrow.

You got all day tomorrow to cry, huh?

Hey! Hey, Lums!

Hi, Lums. Today's my birthday.

Congratulations.

Come on in. The water's fine.

- I can't. - Don't you ever do what you want to?

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear David

Happy birthday to you

You won't leave till I tell her?

- Lillie? - Of course not.

- I'm sorry. It was all my fault. - I've got wonderful news.

No, Mrs. Roth. It was all my fault.

Never mind that now. Lillie, it's happened.

The Keith circuit. We go to Chicago day after tomorrow, darling.

Come on, get off these wet things. Get into a hot tub.

- Bye, Lums. - Bye, David.

Happy birthday.

After Chicago, we play the Midwest, and who knows what will happen?

Darling, didn't I tell you this would come?

Everything will turn out right. They liked your audition.

See? Who knows, maybe you'll be a big star, huh?

Oh, it's going to be wonderful. Everything we ever dreamed of.

Go on, bow. Bow.

Brothers and sisters

Now hear and obey

You can lose the blues Whenever you choose

By singin' your troubles away

Brothers and sisters

Startin' today

Get yourself a song And you'll get along

You'll chase all your worries away

You sinners, drop everything

Let that harmony ring

Up to heaven and sing

Sing, you sinners

Just wave your arms all about

Raise your voices and shout

Pour that music right out

Sing, you sinners

Whenever there's music

The devil kicks

He don't allow music

By that river Styx

You're wicked and you're depraved

And you've all misbehaved

If you wanna be saved

Sing, you sinners

- Just wave your arms all about - Sing

- Raise your voices and shout - Sing

Pour that music right out

Sing, you sinners

You sinners, sing

Whenever there's music

The devil kicks

OI' Mr. Satan kicks

He don't allow music

By that river Styx

You're wicked and you're depraved

And you've all misbehaved

If you want to be saved

Sing, you sinners

Sing, you sinners, sing

Thank you. Print it.

Thanks, Mummy. How was it that time?

- It was better. - I didn't think so.

You've got to relax, darling. The director told you to relax.

I wish that director hadn't said, "Print it." Maybe we can get a retake.

It looks like we have a great number. Congratulations.

- You were very good, Lillian. - Thank you, Mr. Byrd.

But Mama and I think that maybe I could do it better if...

That's right. Don't be satisfied, even when it's great.

She was wonderful, wasn't she?

Come along, Lillian. We have an hour.

And you have to lie down.

We'll see you later, Mr. Byrd. Thank you so much.

But it wasn't any good. I didn't feel anything.

Lillian, Mr. Byrd is your producer.

If he was satisfied, that should be enough.

- You yourself said it wasn't any good. - I didn't say anything of the kind...

Yes, you did. I said I wished the director hadn't said, "Print it..."

Lillian, I'm talking to you. Now, listen to me.

It's getting harder to talk to you all the time.

You're not a child anymore, you're a star. You have to learn to behave like one.

- All right, Mama. - All right.

Here, you have four appointments this afternoon. Don't forget.

Now, you lie down and rest now, all right?

All right.

We're on our way, darling.

It's gonna be just wonderful. Wait and see.

Mr. David Tredman called again.

David? David Tredman, here in Hollywood?

Wait a minute. What do you mean, he called again?

Why, I left several messages from him with your mother.

- Where is he? - The Palms Hospital.

- Well, thanks a lot. - You're quite welcome, ma'am.

Hiya, Lums.

There's only one man in the whole world who'd call me that.

David.

Oh, I'm so glad to see you. It's been so long.

You know, I didn't even know you'd called.

What's wrong? Why are you in a hospital?

They took pictures of my head and found out I didn't have brains.

Which is something we've known for years.

No, it isn't anything serious.

I thought you were too busy to come and see me.

Mama and I have been up to our necks. I'm starting a big picture.

Sure. I'll bet you didn't even get the messages I left.

You look wonderful. You look just wonderful.

Tell me about it, the whole trip to the moon. Do you enjoy it?

You know something? You haven't changed a bit.

- Are you married? - No.

You got a girl?

I'm not sure.

How's your mother? Oh, no, you ask me the questions, sorry.

Mama's fine.

Are you out here to stay?

Well, that depends.

Do you think if I rang this twice, they'll know I mean service for two?

Well, David, I can only stay a few minutes. I've got four appointments.

You haven't changed either. I have to treat you right.

I've seen you in newspapers dining with Gary Cooper.

I don't even know Gary Cooper. Those are just publicity pictures.

That's settled, then. You'll stay for lunch.

I'm sure you're a very good lawyer.

You better tell that to my senior partner.

He's afraid I'm gonna suddenly prosecute a shady client instead of defend him.

Is that why he banished you to California?

No, I volunteered.

I'm out here to build up our show-business clientele.

And besides, I have a friend out here who doesn't get East often enough.

You know, I've really gotta go. I'm keeping people waiting.

But not for 10 years. Look, why...

David...

All you need now is a fire hydrant.

Yes. And remember, you were the one who was gonna protect me from Mama.

Except I was afraid of your mother.

That'll be the day.

I haven't forgotten a thing. Do you know what I was gonna say?

You going anyplace now or the day after tomorrow?

No, I'm not going anywhere.

That's wonderful. I'm gonna be out after tomorrow.

- My goodness, what's going on here? - Nothing, it was just a little accident.

- I'll call you. - When?

Well, tomorrow.

Call me tonight before 9:00. She locks me up at 9:00.

It's a pretty good idea too.

- All right, tomorrow. - It was wonderful to see you, Lums.

Bye, David.

The month's gone by so fast.

We're gonna write, and the picture will be finished in a few weeks.

David, how soon before you'll really be back?

I haven't even faced the fact I'm leaving yet.

David, when am I gonna see you again?

We'll work it out.

- How? - We'll find a way.

Will we see each other again?

- Oh, we will. - When?

I don't know yet.

I'm only gonna be gone for a little while.

Hold me, David.

Hold me.

Don't go, David.

Please don't go.

I'll get you back to New York, I promise.

Come in.

- Hi, Katie. - Oh, hello, David.

- Getting settled? - Well, it'll take a little while.

One day California, the next day New York.

I hope I didn't take you away from anything.

Oh, it'll wait.

You said what we had to talk about couldn't be discussed by phone.

Well, I couldn't very well give you a great big hug over the phone, could I?

That's for closing Lillian's deal at the Palace.

The Palace and then a big national tour.

How did you do it, David?

Lillie's agent is a client of our firm's. I got lucky.

But Lums was ready. She did it.

We all did it.

I've been organizing the act and going over numbers.

You know, two weeks is such a short time.

I guess you know how I feel.

It's like having $999,000.

And then, one little extra shove, and suddenly, you're a millionaire.

Something I've been working for all my life.

I know.

You know, it's funny remembering somebody as a child.

You forget, people grow up, huh?

You're a man now.

A young one, but a man. And a very smart one.

- Well... - Oh, now, David...

...a man who did what you just did is no fool.

Not completely, no.

You understand things, David.

That's not the end of something, huh? It's just the beginning.

Well, that depends on what you want.

What we want.

Who's we?

We?

Lillian and I.

That's what we've always wanted and worked for.

And it hasn't been easy.

Believe me, David, you don't know the half of it.

The troubles.

The disappointments we've had, the sacrifices we've had to make...

...just so Lillian could sing and go on singing...

...and the whole world would hear her.

Do you understand what I mean?

I think so. That's what you want.

Me? Me, Lillian, what's the difference?

The same flesh and blood.

You and I want Lillian to be happy.

And she wants us to be happy.

But we're three different people.

Each of us has the right to decide where we belong.

Or whether we belong at all.

Without that, there's nothing.

You may want one thing, and she may want another.

And I may want a third.

What do you want, David?

Me, personally?

I wanna like myself. That's first.

And then I wanna like others.

I wanna call them by their first name because I know them and they know me.

And I wanna sing and whistle and make mistakes.

I wanna have a home with three or four children...

...and a wife who can bawl me out for not being ambitious enough...

...because I won't be. - Yeah.

So you live in one world and I live in another, huh, David?

And what has that go to do with Lillian personally?

Personally? Lums?

Well, what about me?

- Hello, darling. - Hi, Mama.

You sound like a couple of high-class philosophers.

What about me personally?

You wanna tell her, Katie?

What? We were talking about the Palace, the tour, what David did.

You know, I was going over numbers and picking gowns.

We were having a heart-to-heart talk.

That's right.

Well, what about me personally, Mama?

You walk into the middle of a conversation.

It's not about you personally, darling. We were talking in general.

- I was... - May I tell her?

We were talking specifically about you.

And us, but mostly you.

Now, after the Palace and the tour, what do you want?

Whatever David wants, that's what I want.

You see, whatever makes David happy makes me happy.

You see, Mama, I wanna be David's wife.

So where is it written that you can't be a wife and have children...

...and also be big star, huh?

All right.

Talk is cheap.

Philosophy isn't life.

Lillian, darling, you've worked, you know, since when?

Since a baby.

All this time, we've struggled just for this.

Believe me, it's not a question of what I want. It's what is. It's facts.

You start here, you get there, you don't turn back.

And there's the fact: You're a star.

I wanna be a wife to David.

I wanna be a real wife to him, not one who's away on tour all the time...

...whose kids are growing up in dressing rooms.

I'm sorry, Mama.

I don't want them to be like I was, growing up backstage, sitting on trunks.

When my husband comes home, I wanna be there.

And if I feel like singing...

I mean, want to sing, Mama.

- well, then, I can do it for my husband and my friends...

...or maybe even an audience.

But only when I want to.

I just wanna settle down with David.

Well, I have to be going now.

David?

- What do you think? - It's...

You know something? I don't like it either.

- The next one I really like. - The one you should've shown me.

I would have, except it wasn't quite ready yet.

Oh, David, remember when you see this, it doesn't have all the...

David? Darling, what's the matter?

Would someone help me, please?

David, what is it?

Oh, I'm sorry to cause you all this trouble at a time like this.

But don't be silly, darling.

- Miss Roth, phone call. - Oh, thank you.

Hello?

Hello, Lillian, darling?

I just wanted to call you and thank you for your present before you went on.

Yes.

Oh, it's a lot of fun.

Thanks, darling.

I love you, darling.

And I love you.

Darling, do you feel all right? You sure now?

Listen to me.

Don't go out and kill them, dear.

Go out and live.

I will, darling.

All right, Mama.

I have to go now. I'll see you soon.

Bye, sweetheart.

When the red, red robin Comes bob, bob, bobbin' along, along

There'll be no more sobbin' When he starts throbbin'

His old sweet song

Wake up, wake up You sleepyhead

Get up, get up Get out of bed

Cheer up, cheer up The sun is red

Live, love, laugh and be happy

What if I've been blue

Now I'm walkin' Though fields of flowers

Rain may glisten But still I listen

For hours and hours

I'm just a kid again Doin' what I did again

Singin' a song

When the red, red robin Comes bob, bob, bobbin' along

When the red, red robin Comes bobbity bobbin' along, along

There'll be no more sobbin' When he starts throbbin'

His old sweet song

Wake up, you sleepyhead

Get up, get out of bed

Cheer up, the sun is red

Live, love, be happy

I've been blue

Now I'm walkin' Through fields of flowers

Rain may glisten But still I listen

For hours and hours

I'm just a kid again Doin' what I did again

Singin' a song

When the red, red robin

Comes a-bob, bob, bobbin'

When the red, red robin Comes bobbity bobbin' along

- Where's my mother? - Telephone.

What's the matter, Mama?

Nothing, I...

- There was a phone call. - Is it...?

- Lillie... - The hospital?

Now, baby.

- We're holding it for you, Miss Roth. - David?

- He's gone, sweetheart. - David!

- Lillie! - Miss Roth, your next number.

They're waiting, Miss Roth. Miss Roth!

Quick, you're up. Come on.

Now, Lillie, darling, you shouldn't have that around, dear.

- It only reminds you... - I want it.

I want it right here.

Miss Roth, you might rest better in a sanitarium.

No, she wouldn't.

I know my little girl. She could never stand a sanitarium.

Don't worry, darling. We will cancel the vaudeville tour, all right?

- What did you say? - We'll cancel the tour.

Oh, Mama, we can't. We can't cancel that tour.

Now, baby, you're in no condition to start singing. You can't do it.

Oh, but I wanna sing.

I can sing.

I've gotta sing, Mama.

Doctor...

You see, David arranged that tour.

And he was going with me.

It may be a good idea, but take Ellen with you.

Of course.

Good morning.

Look at what some ardent admirer left at your doorstep.

Let's see.

- Oh, aren't they beautiful, Lillian? - Aren't they beautiful?

Look.

I never thought, when I went to nurses' school...

...l'd end up hanging around newsstands waiting for reviews.

They're wonderful, Lillian.

They are? Well, let's see. Let's read them.

Oh, Lillian, listen to this:

"Lillian Roth wins ovation.

Lillian Roth, who has been captivating audiences throughout the country...

...had a standing-room audience last night cheering and applauding."

May I help you?

Theatrical cold cream, please.

You're Lillian Roth, aren't you?

I saw you last night at the Rajah's Theater, and you were great.

Thank you.

This is my pal Henry.

We're gonna go and see you again tonight. See you.

That's great.

I'm Wallie.

Well, anyhow, we don't know very many people around here.

Look, if we could go back to camp and tell the fellows that...

Well, maybe after the show tonight...

Excuse me.

Certainly. We'll be very glad to see you backstage.

Why don't you come back after the show?

- We'd like to. - Maybe we could all have dinner.

Lillie, darling, the time is getting close on that date, sweetheart.

Go without me.

Oh, come on, Lillie, it'll do you good, huh?

We'll have some fun.

We'll listen to some music, and maybe we'll crack a few jokes.

I don't wanna listen to music, and I don't wanna crack a few jokes.

Come on, now, Lillie, darling.

I don't wanna listen to music, and I don't wanna crack a few jokes!

Hello?

- Apologize the best you can. - I'll handle it.

Lillie.

Lillie.

What you're doing to yourself is very wrong.

I know.

You always knew when I was doing things that were wrong.

Even my first audition.

Remember my first audition, all the things I did that were wrong?

Well, what I'm doing now is wrong, and I'm doing it.

What I mean is, it's wrong for you, for your own good, sweetheart.

That's another thing you're an expert on.

You're a real pro on that subject.

You always know what's good for me.

How to dance, where to sing, what to wear...

...who to go out with.

So, what I'm doing now, it's not for my own good, and I'm doing it.

David is dead, darling. You've got to learn to forget.

Forget?

You wish there was nothing to remember.

You hated him. You think I don't know?

All those phone calls you never even told me about?

"Lillie, darling, you can't go out with David tonight."

"Lillie, dear, I wish you'd stop seeing that boy."

Well, as far as I'm concerned, he's not dead.

I'll always remember. I'll never forget.

And I don't care whether it's good for me or bad for me.

Or whether it's right or whether it's wrong.

Or whether you like it or you don't like it.

And just this once, I want you to leave me alone.

Lillie, you're my daughter. I...

All I ever wanted was for us... Was for you to be happy, darling.

Happier than I was.

That's what I want now, so...

So maybe it's better...

It's better if I'm not here for a while, huh?

So I'll leave you alone, huh?

Ellen, you'll take good care of my...?

That's in case you wanna hit me.

Because I'm telling you, Lillie, my girl, you've got to forget.

I've got to forget?

His smile, his love?

His understanding?

Don't you understand, Ellen?

I am forgetting.

That's what's killing me.

Sometimes three days go by...

...and I don't remember his face, his name...

...that I said, "I love you and I always will."

What kind of a person am I?

What's the matter with me?

Can't I feel anything? Is everything about me fake?

My heart and my talent, everything?

Mama's tried to help and so have you.

Now I've chased her out of here.

I'm nasty and vicious.

I say things I don't mean.

I'm so mixed-up, so confused.

Sometimes at night...

...I wake up and I don't believe it's true at all.

He never died.

It was just a dream, and now the dream's ended and he's here.

But he isn't.

And it hurts.

It hurts so hard.

And then, maybe because I can't stand the pain...

...or I'm just no good, I forget.

Like I never said, "I'll marry you."

Like the one good thing that ever happened in my life...

...never did.

And then when I try to touch it...

...when I reach out and try to hold it...

...just the memory of it...

...I reach out into the darkness and there's nothing.

And that nothing isn't David.

It's me, Lillian Roth.

Drink it.

Go on, drink it.

What for?

Because then maybe you'll get a good night's sleep.

This isn't in the rulebook, but I can't think of anything else.

One gulp or you'll never get it down.

Ellen was right.

The tension was easing up.

After the second drink, I drifted off into the first real sleep I'd had...

... since David died.

Every night after that, I drank myself to sleep.

I felt I no longer needed Katie's reassurance.

I was getting it out of a bottle.

For the first time, I was completely secure on a stage.

I was sure at last that they liked me.

And I deserved it. I was something.

I was glamorous. I was the best singer in the world.

Hey!

Hi, remember me?

Why, sure. You're Wallie.

From San Antone, on a two-day pass, remember?

- I'm sorry about that last time. - Not me, it means you still owe me a date.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hello there. How about it?

- Well, I don't see why not. - Wonderful.

You know what I'm gonna do? Teach you how to conga.

- How to what? - Conga.

Why, it's a dance we do down in San Antone. You don't know how...?

Not me. I'm going back to the hotel.

No chaperon? Well, what are we waiting for?

All I've got is a weekend pass, so let's go, huh?

Stand up. You all right?

A ship.

- Lillie, ahoy! - Hey, wait for me.

Wait for me.

Stuck.

- What's the matter? - I'm stuck.

- You're not. - Hey, you, get off the boat.

- Hoist the anchor. - Come on.

Captain.

Hey, captain.

Bombs away!

What are we doing here?

Hi.

What's the matter?

Lillie. Lillie...

I'll get you a drink.

No. No, I don't want that.

- What day is this? - Sunday.

It's good it isn't Monday.

I have a matinee on Monday.

I better get to a phone and call Ed.

Now, wait a minute. No phones.

My father hears about us being married...

...he'll burn up. The lumber yard will be reduced to ashes.

Well, you can just cool off.

Because no matter what you said, we're not gonna get married.

We did.

We did what?

Marry.

And I asked Mama to leave me alone.

Just once.

Now, I was really on my own.

I was doing exactly what I wanted to do.

- So we tried all the best places. - Thank you.

Conga, rumba, Cuba libre.

We tried to forget that we didn't love one another.

I even tried to believe that Mama was pleased at my marrying.

In fact, we tried just about everything but staying sober.

Drinking became our way of life.

It was a means of forgetting our problems.

And sometimes we actually got around to eating dinner.

First, some celery and olives.

Then steak for two.

Everything was beautiful. Everything was hazy.

Except for the fact that my exits...

... were becoming much less glamorous than my entrances.

And what we spent kept increasing.

What I made grew smaller.

We tried to forget that our marriage was anything but one large mistake.

But what I didn't realize at all was how much of the time I was drunk.

You certainly were disgusting.

- What? - What?

- Look at your hair. - Look at my hair?

One whole year we've been getting dressed like this.

- Every night, we go out... - Unhook me.

- and we look at people, people look at us.

One whole year we've been doing this.

Oh, I'm tired.

Looking at people, having people look at me.

- I'm tired of being Mr. Lillian Roth. - Why didn't you go back to Pittsburgh?

What?

What's wrong with Pittsburgh?

- How should I know? - What'd you say that for, then?

- What'd I say? - Look here, you just said that...

Pittsburgh was... My dad's in the lumber business...

So what?

Well, look, everybody can't be a movie star.

The lumber business is a good, honest business.

And there's pine and there's oak and there's...

Look, do you know what this is, huh?

Do you know what this is? Plywood.

Plywood is this stuff. The whole door is plywood.

You don't even care, do you?

You don't even like the lumber business, do you?

Well, I like it.

And I been doing a lot of thinking. There's a lot of things that...

Look, I'm a man. I'm a man.

- And I've gotta get to work. - What are you gonna be a man at?

Well, I could've been a pilot.

Yeah, I could've been. Only, you didn't let it.

Just because I don't want the plane to fall down and get killed?

Didn't I buy you a plane?

- What? - What did you do to it?

What? Nothing. We've still got...

- You're all mixed up. - I am not mixed up.

You just don't like anything about me.

You don't like my hair, you don't like my friends.

- You hate me! - I don't hate you.

- I didn't say that. - Then what did you say?

I said that I didn't...

I don't know. I don't know.

I just don't know.

- She don't even know what plywood is. - Oh, plywood, plywood, plywood.

If you love lumber so much, why don't you marry Pittsburgh?

Maybe I will.

Maybe I just will.

Maybe I will.

I'll have my lawyer call you in the morning.

Lillian, it's so good to see you. I haven't seen you for such a long time.

- It's good to see you too. - Where's your husband?

- I haven't seen him. - Who?

- Your husband, isn't he here? - I shouldn't think so.

You see, we broke up two years ago.

I'll help you out here. Play the piano, hon.

Hey, Joe.

Hey, Lillie, baby, you got a great party going.

For you, it's almost gone. Slow it down to a shout, will you?

- All right, down to a shout. - That's a good boy.

- All right. - Wanna start something?

- That's all right. - Did I get it all over you?

That's all right.

Take Miss Roth's advice. Slow it down like a good fella, huh?

- It's all right, Joe. - Okay, baby.

- I'm terribly sorry. - I'm Tony Bardeman.

The uninvited guest. I came with Bob and Pauline.

- May I stay? - Did he hurt you?

Oh, no, no. I never felt better.

Your friend sure needs practice.

- Your accompanist? - Just one of the many.

He starts drinking before breakfast.

That'll ruin his constitution and your piano.

It's there to be ruined. My real one's in the next room.

Oh, good, let's see it. Excuse us.

Well, go on. Sing it.

Wait a minute. This is silly.

- lf I start, they'll all come in. - Well, we could shut the door.

Oh, but we won't.

Your answer to everything is no.

I'll be your orchestra.

- No? - No.

Have you heard this before?

No.

Of course not. I'm making it up right now.

No, I'm not really. It's just a little item Mozart created.

You know something? I think you're crazy.

Maybe you're right. It's more fun that way.

- Paul? - Yes, ma'am.

- Drink? - Oh, no. No, thanks.

- You're sure? - Very sure.

- All right, Paul, thanks. - Thank you.

You sure you don't want another drink?

No.

You may not know it, but I'm quite high.

- Yeah. - Really?

- Yeah. - You can't tell it.

I'm a little high myself.

I thought your eyes were that bright naturally.

You know, I admire someone who knows he's high...

...and has the strength to say, "I don't want another drink."

Survival.

There's a little policeman who lives on a high tower in the back of my head.

Blows a whistle.

And a red traffic light goes on...

...and it says, "Beware that one extra drink."

And I stop. All credit goes to my little policeman.

Nuts to you!

I'll break up anything in this house if I feel like it.

Wanna start something?

- Come on. I'll take you. - Get him out of here.

Everybody, get in.

Joe, don't do that. Please, stop it, Joe.

- It's all right. Take it easy now. - Come on, Joe.

- Let's go, Joe. - Oh, Lillie.

- Mr. Bardeman, be careful of him. - You know me.

- Tell them, tell them. - All right.

- Let's go. - Be careful, please.

Pardon me, ladies.

Oh, pardon me, sir.

- Say... - Yes, sir?

He put up a bad fight, and I may have hurt him.

Why don't you get him downstairs into a taxi, huh?

Of course, sir.

George...

- What happened? Where'd everybody go? - Oh, hi.

Well, looks like Joe really busted up the party.

- How is he? - Oh, he's fine.

Good.

I can't stand a man who can't hold his liquor.

You know, drinking like that is a curse, a sickness.

Thank you for helping me tonight.

Go on, make me feel important. I like it.

- You live in New York? - California.

I like California. I made a lot of money there.

I like California too, but I haven't made a dime so far.

I'm going back, day after tomorrow.

Would it be very unladylike of me to say...

...that I wish you weren't going back the day after tomorrow?

To a man, that's the most ladylike thing any lady can say.

Well, do you have to leave? I mean, the day after tomorrow.

Is it very important?

Nothing I do is very important. But I enjoy it.

Well...

Would it be very unladylike of me to ask what you were doing tomorrow?

I mean, all day.

I'll be busy packing, getting ready.

Like what tomorrow, lunch?

Yes, lunch. Let's say from 12 to 5.

I'll try to work it out. Anyway, I'll call.

You hold lunch open. And wait for my call, say about 11:00.

- Good night. - Good night.

You sure there's nothing I can do? - No. I'll call you if I need you.

Thank you.

It's all right, Paul. I'll get it.

Hi, Mama. What are you doing in this part of town?

Nothing. I was just in the neighborhood.

Just in the neighborhood? Half-hour away from home.

What? So I came to see you. So?

- Well, what's all this? - None of your business.

It's orange juice. No gin in it. Here, smell.

Now, what did you just happen to be here about?

- Nothing, I... - What's with the special visit?

- Who is he? - He?

I don't know how to explain, Mama. He's wonderful.

He's... Well, you'll just have to stay and meet him, that's all.

- Today would be the wrong time. - Well, stay a little bit.

You're here now, and I can give you your check.

And then when the bell rings downstairs, then you can leave, huh?

His name is Tony Bardeman. He's from the coast.

He reminds me just a little bit of David.

I met him last night. He came to the party.

And there's something about him, Mama, that I've never seen before in...

Lillie, darling. It's 2:30. I'm starving.

Eat.

Wish you'd stop walking around. You make me dizzy.

Listen, this is my house. If I wanna walk, I'll walk.

Maybe he was delayed. Why get so excited?

Look, I'm not excited. So don't make me more excited.

Maybe he thought it was tomorrow, huh?

A man you meet once, makes a date and then doesn't keep it...

...that doesn't mean anything.

Lillie. Lillie, do you know what you're gonna become?

You're going to become an old-fashioned drunkard.

That's just what I came to talk to you about, Lillie.

You're on your own. I should mind my own business, but you're my daughter.

Everybody is talking, the agents, the managers.

- Everybody's talking, huh? - Yes.

Louie is afraid to submit you to the Shuberts because of your drinking.

Everybody's talking? Why doesn't anybody let me in on it?

Money going out, nothing coming in.

Let me tell you something. I can stop drinking whenever I want to.

You see, I've got a little policeman back here with a traffic light.

Relax, Ma. I'll always be able to support you.

If you can stop drinking any time, why don't you stop now?

- Why don't you stop today? - All right, I'll stop now.

I'll stop today.

I'll give you your check, we'll go out to lunch.

I'm so glad, Lillie. It's just that I was afraid.

- You see, I've been so worried... - Oh, all right, okay.

It's on the desk. I'll get my coat.

- Paul. Paul! - Yes, ma'am.

If anybody calls me, you tell them I left here at five after 12.

- Five after 12, understand? - Yes, ma'am.

Call my car. Come on.

All right.

Mama, you go ahead and have lunch.

- Oh, come on. - I'm not hungry. I'm not gonna eat.

You talk to Louie. All right, go ahead.

I'll see you later.

May I have a glass of water, please?

I'm sorry, I don't feel very well.

That'll fix it, huh?

Feel better, honey?

I don't know what hit me. I felt so awful, so funny.

I know. The shakes, huh?

They come and they go.

You just needed a little drink, that's all.

I know the signs. Boy, do I know them.

You know, you ought to get yourself a little flask or something.

Then if it gets tough when you're somewhere you can't get to a drink...

...well, you can always go into a ladies' room or like that.

Excuse me, honey.

Every nerve in my body was screaming.

I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

All I had to do was open that door and walk 10 steps to the bar in my living room...

... to find relief from this torture.

Nothing could have that hold on me.

I had to face it, confront it. It was the only way.

I could, and I had to.

I took the drink I didn't want to take.

- Good evening, Miss Roth. - Good evening.

The entire character of my drinking changed after that.

Almost overnight, I became a secret drinker.

I lived in constant terror of being found out...

... of having my name spread over the newspapers.

But like all alcoholics, I lied to myself.

I told myself I was drinking because I was high-strung and sensitive.

I was an artist. I'd been hurt.

One day, it was to pick me up because I was down.

Another, it was to quiet me down because I was so high.

You'd better put the chair on the stage.

Miss Lillian Roth.

Here we go!

It seems like happiness

Is just a thing called Joe

He's got a smile

That makes the lilac wanna grow

He's got a way

That makes the angels heave a sigh

When they know

Little Joe's passin' by

Sometimes the cabin's gloomy

And the table's bare

Then he'll kiss me

And it's Christmas everywhere

Troubles fly away

And life is easy go

Does he love me good?

That's all I need to know

Seems like happiness

Is just a thing

Called Joe

Little Joe

Little Joe

Little Joe

I'm all right. Leave me alone.

I'm fine.

Next act.

Oh, it's you and your stupid steps.

Jeepers creepers. Everybody's nuts around here.

Come in.

I said, come in. The door's open.

Greetings.

Next time, try Western Union.

It's less embarrassing, and you've got nine words left over.

Why didn't you call?

Maybe I wanted to find out if you'd miss me.

All right, you know now.

You can leave.

You should've called.

Why didn't you call?

Maybe I wanted to find out how much I'd miss you.

Look, you should've called.

I have no little policeman, no traffic light.

I've been drinking all day...

...every day since the day before you left for California.

- And I'm drunk! - I know.

I know. Sometimes my cop falls asleep on me too.

Maybe I wanted to be sure that he wouldn't ever again.

Maybe that's why I didn't call. Maybe now that I'm sure, I'm here.

Are you trying to tell me that you drink the way I do...

...and you can just stop? - That's right.

How? Please, you've got tell me how.

You see, I need somebody who understands this thing.

- I should've called. I should've called. - I've tried to stop this.

You know, I went away to a place where they have a saltwater cure.

And I came back so sick, I could hardly stand up.

I've even read pamphlets from Alcoholics Anonymous.

I'm desperate. I don't know why I'm telling you all these things.

Because you said you need somebody who understands.

And I do.

Maybe that's why I really didn't call.

I never could admit that I needed anything or anybody.

But I do.

I need you, and you need me.

Lillie, darling.

Let's go on the wagon together, huh?

On a wagon like that, we could travel anywhere.

Lillie, what do you say?

Oh, Tony. Oh, Tony.

I'm so glad to see you.

You know, that day you left?

I didn't take one single drink, not one single drink until 4:00.

I'm gonna take you away, and we'll help each other.

When? When can we leave? Tonight?

No, I can't. I have to go to Chicago. I'll only be gone a couple of weeks.

A couple of weeks? Well, why can't I go with you?

It's business, darling.

I have to raise $5000. I'll be tied up every minute.

- Five thousand dollars? I can give it to you. - No.

You could lend it to me. But I'd want you to know what the whole set up is.

- Is $5000 enough? - Yeah, for now.

You could make yourself a lot of money.

When can we leave? Tonight?

No, I've gotta go to Chicago first to close the deal.

Then you can meet me there, and we'll leave for the coast together, huh?

In about a week.

I could kill myself for making that deal fall through in Chicago.

Forget it, honey.

Maybe there'll be a better deal in California.

Sure, honey.

Now, stop torturing yourself, and relax.

I can't relax...

...because I know how much that deal meant to you.

Why can't I ever do things that are right?

You're gonna make yourself very sick if you keep on that way.

Come here.

We still have a whole lifetime in which we can help one another.

Come in.

Miss Roth.

Mrs. Bardeman.

Pardon me.

Yes, sir, I read about that.

- Congratulations. - Thank you very much.

Yes, sir.

Tony, I don't want a drink.

It's for me, honey.

Well, you mustn't. We promised, remember?

Promised?

It was needing a drink that made you break up my conference.

But I only phoned because I didn't want a drink.

I needed you.

Then you should've waited until I got there.

It only took me half an hour.

Well, I'd been waiting hours before I called.

And when I need a drink that bad, half-hour's like a half a century.

Yeah. Yeah, it was my fault you got dead drunk.

I should've spent all my time looking after you.

Tony, I didn't say it was your fault. Please, get rid of that bottle.

You don't have to drink it, honey. It's for me.

Here's to us and that other deal.

But, Tony, I know I'm the one who went off the wagon first.

And I now you're disappointed in me.

But it's never gonna happen again. Please, Tony.

- Stop it. - Tony...

That's very expensive stuff. If you don't believe it, smell it.

Now, let's change the whole subject, huh? Relax.

We still got 39 hours before we get to California.

Here's to our Mutual Aid Society.

You're the president, and I'm the treasurer.

You know the part I really like, is where we needed each other.

You needed me, and I needed you. Oh, brother, did I need you.

Honey, I'm afraid you'll get very drunk.

And what are you, or aren't you afraid of that?

Me?

I'll just get more charming.

- No. - Where are you going?

I wanna get out.

- You're still Lillian Roth, all right. - Look, let me out of here.

You don't need a husband, you need a keeper.

You never cared. You never cared at all.

Let me out of here. I can't stand to look at you.

- I'm not through talking yet, honey. - I don't wanna play games.

I don't wanna play games either.

Stop, Tony!

I'm drunk.

I'm what you call a real A number one drunk.

He's all right. He's fine.

He's fine. He's a real doll.

My maid left this morning because I'm such a drunk.

Everybody feels sorry for him.

Must respect...

There's drunks, and there's drunks.

Me? I'm what you'd call an adorable drunk.

See?

He's mean.

Maybe you can tell me, mister.

Why is it when some men get drunk, they get mean?

- Real mean. - Just take it easy.

And then the next day, they're sorry.

So sorry.

Yeah, he's great. He's my husband.

He's a doll, and I've got the scars to prove it.

Oh, well, that's okay with me.

I'm no good. I'm no good.

It's the way it's gotta be.

I'm just nothing, a hopeless drunk.

Getting just what I deserve.

Oh, well. That's life.

Please, please help me.

My husband is going to kill me. Get me away from him, fast.

- Come on. - No, no, no.

- No, no, no. - What are you...?

Take it easy. She's very drunk. She's out of her head.

- Don't listen. - Came from a mental hospital.

- He's lying. Don't listen. - Come on.

- Call the police. - lf you take her, you're in trouble.

- No, no, no. - Come on, Lillie. Let's go, let's go.

Hello.

Yes, I'll take it.

Hello?

Katie, my love. How are you?

Just like a couple of lovebirds.

Yeah.

No, Katie, Lillie isn't here. She's out shopping.

Oh, but it isn't the middle of the night, honey.

It's 11:00 where you are, but it's only 8:00 here.

She's more beautiful than ever.

Yeah. She hasn't?

Well, I guess it's because she's been so busy.

Yeah.

No, not singing. Being my wife.

Oh, she'll be sorry she missed your call.

Yeah, she misses you too, and so do I.

All right, Katie. Have fun.

Take it easy.

Yeah, so long.

End of the line, lady. End of the line.

Hey, lady. End of the line.

See you later, John.

She's been riding the car for five hours.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Drunk.

All right, sister, wake up.

Come on, wake up. It's closing time.

It's time to go home.

- I knew a babe in Mexico... - Save it.

That's the girl, honey. Sing us a song.

She's barreled.

I tell you, I know this dame.

She's a famous singer.

She used to be a beauty.

Here, take mine, honey.

What's your name, honey?

My name is Lillian Roth, and I'm 8 years old...

...and I do imitations and dramatic parts...

...and I was in The Inner Man with Mr. Wilton Lackaye...

...and I played...

Make them stop looking at me.

I'm so ashamed.

Just drink a little water. You'll be all right.

Katie, come and get me.

- Yes, she will. - Take me home.

All right. Everything's all right.

My mother...

- Coffee's almost ready, darling. - I don't want any.

Smells ready. I think I'll have a cup, huh?

Mom...

Mom, you promised.

All right, darling. Let's have a cup of coffee first, huh?

You promised, Mom.

You still have a little in the bottle?

There's not even enough there for one drink.

Well, all right, then I'll get a fresh bottle when I go down for something for supper.

Mom, Mom, I want it now. I've got know that it's there.

I've got to know that there's enough there for later.

Mom, I've gotta have it. I've got to, Mom.

Yes, darling.

No, no "yes, darling."

Just go out and get me the bottle, huh?

What would you like to have for supper?

I don't care. I don't care. Just stop fiddling and get the bottle.

Look what you did. And you did it on purpose!

You're still trying to make me do what you want, be what you want.

I can't be anything except what I am! Look, what did you drop that bottle for?

What are you trying to do, drive me crazy?

Go on, get the bottle! Get it now!

All right.

All right.

All right, it's my fault, huh?

I made you become an actress, you didn't want to, all right.

I've been a bad mother.

You had to support me, all right.

All right, all right, everything.

Just this.

And for once in your life, you're gonna hear it.

Do you know at all why I did it? Do you? No, you don't.

Do you know what kind of life I had?

Know what it was like to live with your father?

Put up with his mistakes, and afterwards, to be left alone with nothing.

No money, no career, not young anymore, nothing to fall back on.

No, you don't.

You don't know at all what I tried to save you from.

The kind of freedom I never had...

...I tried to give to you by making you Lillian Roth.

So you admit it. You invented Lillian Roth.

All right, now, look at me.

I said, look at me! Don't turn your face away.

I'm the looking glass you created to see yourself in.

All right, see yourself now, in me.

Look at this ugly picture.

And then get out of here!

But keep this picture before your face as long as you live!

It's true.

Oh, God, help me.

I owe you this.

Every single word of it is true.

No, Mama.

No, Mama. No.

No, Mama.

No, Mama, Mama.

It's not true. Mama.

You know how I get when I need a drink.

I go out of my mind, Mama.

Mama, don't cry.

It kills me when you cry.

Oh, it kills me that you had to see me like this.

That you have to live with me like this.

Mama, Mama.

Mama.

Remember what you used to tell me?

You said, "Cry tomorrow. You've got all day tomorrow."

Mama.

Cry tomorrow.

Oh, babe.

Mama...

...I tell you what.

You go and wash your face, and comb your hair pretty.

And I'll get your supper, huh?

All right, Mama?

Who could eat what you cook?

What do you mean? I'm good.

I'm great at slicing salami.

Mama, don't cry.

I'll go down to the delicatessen...

...and I'll get some salami and garlic and pickles...

...and maybe some rye bread and weenies.

Just like in the old days.

And then we'll have a picnic, huh?

Look, you make some fresh coffee.

It's gonna be all right, Mama.

There's money here in my pocketbook.

You'll need a coat, huh?

Oh, no, no. I don't need a coat.

It's just downstairs, Mama. We'll have a party.

Oh, dear God.

Help me. Help me.

Hello, I'm Jerry.

I'm Selma.

I...

I've gotta talk someone.

Sure.

Have a chair.

That's what we're here for.

Tell us about it.

You see, she started drinking when she was 18...

...and she never really stopped.

I can't stay. My mother's waiting for me.

Oh, stay and talk.

This is Burt.

Hello.

Her mother's waiting for her.

Well, why not try to begin?

My story isn't funny.

I can't live.

And I can't die.

If you wanted to die, you never would've walked through that door.

What's your mother's phone number?

Riverside 6-9971.

- I'll call. - Ask for Mrs. Roth.

Now we can talk, huh?

You started drinking when you were 18, and you haven't stopped.

The first drink I can remember...

I can't.

I can't talk.

- Nobody'd understand. - We'll take you home. That's all right.

We've all been through this ourselves. We understand.

It isn't so hard to understand.

When it...

...looked to everyone like I didn't care...

...that I was shameless, and I didn't care what I did...

...I cared the most.

When I was the most disgusting, I was trying the hardest.

I just couldn't make it.

I tried.

Why doesn't anybody believe that I tried?

With all my heart, I tried!

I need a drink.

I don't want a drink.

But I need a drink. I need a drink!

Now!

Just a minute.

- Easy, Mrs. Roth. - Please. I'm sorry.

It's really better not to see her now.

I'll tell her that you came.

We'll let you know the moment you can see her.

It's all right, Mrs. Roth.

She's in very good hands. We've been all through this ourselves.

Then you understand...

...because I don't, really.

I never have.

- You'll let me know? - Absolutely.

I'll take you home, Mrs. Roth.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Kill them! Go out and kill them!

Kill them! Kill them!

Kill them! Kill them!

Kill them!

No, David. No, David.

Go out...

Go out and live.

Go out and live.

I've been giving you all a pretty bad time.

No worse than we've all given each other.

That drying out is the worst.

That was good advice, wherever you got it.

- "Go out and live." - David.

A man worth remembering.

I tried to kill myself in this room.

Right at that window.

And I couldn't do it.

It wasn't fear.

And it's strange because I've been frightened all my life.

But it wasn't fear.

Your will to live.

Then why did I come to this?

Why?

Our quarrel with fate...

...Selma's, mine, all of us...

...it leads to self-pity.

Then self-hate. Finally, self-destruction.

I don't understand.

What do you mean, "quarrel with fate"?

Sure.

All alcoholics have one.

Hey, when I was a kid in college...

...I loved sports.

I liked to go around, you know...

...dancing, long hikes, football.

Then this polio paid me a visit.

After that, I hated everyone and everything, stayed very much to myself.

Eventually, my loneliness would overcome my pride.

I'd ask some girl to walk with me...

...but before the end of the evening...

...l'd be sure that whoever went out with me, did so out of pity.

So I started to drink.

Day in, year out.

Finally, you hit the bottom.

You die, or you fight and live.

I did both in a way.

I was lucky enough then to meet these friends...

...who'd been all through it themselves.

They...

We have a kind of prayer at AA:

"May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change...

...the courage to change the things I can...

...and the wisdom to know the difference."

They helped me to understand the difference.

And I hope that we can help you the same way.

I should think there'd be lots of girls...

...who didn't think that dancing was that important.

Oh, I was just using that as an example.

Good evening. Good evening.

- I'm Burt McGuire. - Hi, Burt.

And I'm an alcoholic.

Well, tonight's an open meeting.

Everybody's welcome.

However, I'd like to say that if there are reporters present...

...well, write anything you wish, but please don't use any names.

All our members are anonymous.

We try to place principles above personalities.

Also, some of our members are kind of funny.

They didn't used to mind being seen in the best places...

...so drunk they couldn't stand up.

But they're still a little bit sensitive about being seen here cold sober.

I'd like to ask those of you who are here for the first or second time...

...raise your hands.

I welcome you newcomers, and say...

...that the rest of us know exactly how you feel.

Each of us once walked through that door for the first time.

Now, those of you who are alcoholics, please raise you hands.

Thank you.

The floor is open tonight to those of you who have been here for six months or less.

We don't want any old goats tonight.

If you've got anything to say, just step right up. Come on.

- I'm Richard Elstead. - Hi, Richard.

I'm an alcoholic.

I joined AA up in New England.

I went back home after I dried out.

All the time I was drinking, I never thought I was on skid row.

Skid row was a place called the Bowery.

And the Bowery's in New York, everybody knows that.

I couldn't be there.

I was on skid row, all right, for 10 long years, and didn't know it.

I didn't know where I was when I was drinking.

- I'm Marge Belney. - Hi, Marge.

And I'm...

I still can't say it.

I'm an alcoholic.

I started drinking at the age of 14.

By the time I was 18, everyone was saying I was a drunk.

What I'm finding out...

...is that without alcohol, the world is a beautiful place.

And I'm seeing it for the first time.

And I wanna thank everyone for helping me.

Thank you, thank you.

Well, that's about what it adds up to.

We have three choices:

AA...

...the psycho ward...

...or the graveyard.

And when we get close enough to the graveyard to recognize it...

...the issue becomes clear-cut and simple.

Die now...

...or fight and live.

That's all for now.

We're serving refreshments. They're not the kind you're used to...

...but you'll enjoy them, we hope, just the same.

Thank you, thank you.

I've been meaning to ask you something.

Since you're my sponsor...

...what does that make you to the people whose sponsor I am?

You don't need a sponsor anymore.

That's not true.

I love music.

Get a lot of pleasure out of just listening.

Close your eyes and you listen.

When you close your eyes, all kinds of things are possible.

- Burt... - I have your record of this, you know that?

And I'll bet I've played it a hundred times.

What kind of things are possible when you close your eyes?

Live, love, laugh and be happy

What if I've been blue

Now I'm walking through Fields of flowers

Rain may glisten But still I listen

For hours and hours

I'm just a kid again Doin' what I did again

Singin' a song

When the red, red robin Comes bob, bob, bobbin' along

When the red, red robin Comes bobbity bobbin' along

Along

There'll be no more sobbin' When he starts throbbin'

His old sweet song

Wake up, you sleepyhead...

Though the loves we leave behind

Change and fade away

Never mind

You may be mine

Today

You sinners, drop everything

Let that harmony ring

Up to heaven and sing

Sing, you sinners

Just wave your arms all about

Raise your voices and shout

Pour that music right out

Sing, you sinners

Sometimes the cabin's gloomy

And the tables bare

Then he'll kiss me

And it's Christmas everywhere

Troubles fly away

And life is easy go

Does he love me good?

That's all I need to know

Seems like happiness

Is just a thing called Joe

Little Joe

Little Joe

Little Joe

Thank you.

Can't let the entertainment committee down.

Burt, what is it?

Well, it's like I said.

You don't need a sponsor anymore.

You're back on your own feet now. You stay that way.

But I didn't sing for the entertainment committee.

I sang for you.

You sang because singing is your life.

It's your gift.

Now, share it with others.

With you.

Come in.

Hi, Burt.

Oh, Lil.

I haven't seen you around these past few weeks.

Well, I've been around.

- Well, you weren't at the dance. - No.

- Burt, I wanna talk. - We've been all through this...

As my sponsor, I need your advice.

You remember the other night after I sang?

Everybody called up and congratulated me.

And Artie the agent's lined up several bookings for me to go on tour.

Yes, I heard about it. I'm very glad for you.

- That's just it. - What?

They want me on a national television show.

Wonderful.

But they don't want me to sing.

What do they want you to do?

They want me to come out to California...

...and get up before 40 million people...

...and tell the shameful, disgusting story of my life.

End my comeback before we start it.

The story of your life?

I couldn't tell the story of my life.

I'd be too ashamed.

If you're sure you'd never slip back again, this might do an awful lot of good.

If you ever did slip back, it might do a great deal of harm.

- Are you telling me to do it? - Oh, no, no, no.

- Are you telling me not to? - I'm not telling you anything.

Burt, I came to you for help.

Look, Lil, this is graduation day.

This is your life, not mine, not Katie's.

You have to make this decision.

I can't make it by myself.

Whenever I've come to you before, you've helped me.

Why is it so difficult for you now?

I've tried to tell you. You don't wanna understand.

Can't you see? You don't need me anymore.

Burt...

...I know you're afraid to let yourself love me.

But you're wrong, Burt.

You're wrong.

Love me, Burt.

We belong together.

Together, we can help each other.

Together.

I love you, Lil.

Thank you very much. Hello, everybody.

Mr. Edwards is ready, Miss Roth. I'll show you to your seats.

Everything all right?

- No regrets? - I don't know.

I only know that you get by giving, and this is all I've got to give.

Our principal subject knows that this is her life.

We have her unqualified permission to tell the whole truth.

It's a story of degradation and shame.

But when you hear the facts, you'll realize how much courage it took...

...for her to come here tonight.

You'll also realize that it's a story full of hope...

...hope for many who are living and suffering...

...in a half world of addiction to alcohol.

Hope for all people, wherever and whoever they are.

So this is your life, Lillian Roth.