Original subtitles

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Nandemo dekichau BATTO

The bat that can do anything:

ESUKARIBORUGU

Excaliborg!

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Mahou no gion de jinsei

With this magical spell

Yarinaoshite ageru

I’ll bring you back to life

Iya yo dame yo konna no

That’s disgusting, don’t do it,

Baka baka

You big idiot

Sonna ni gira-gira shinaide

Don’t look at me like that

Onegai dakara (EI!)

Please! Yeah!

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

Chishibuki doku-doku Dokuro-chan

That splashes blood everywhere, Dokuro-chan

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

Shinzou doku-doku Dokuro-chan

That makes your heart bleed copiously, Dokuro-chan

Utte moyashite itabutte

I’ll shoot at you, burn you, harass you,

Umete segande hazukashimete

Bury you, pester you, and humiliate you,

Demo sorette boku no ai nano

But that’s just the way I express my love

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

BATTO de dosu-dosu Dokuro-chan

That makes you spurt blood, Dokuro-chan

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

Chi mi doro doro-doro Dokuro-chan

That stains everything with blood, Dokuro-chan

Saite kowashite kekaeshite

I’ll rip you up, break you, then kick back,

Shimete yajitte tobokete

Strangle you, heckle you, then play dumb,

Demo sorette boku no ai nano

But that’s just the way I express my love

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Episode 3

Incidents Happen in a Secret Room! Dokuro-chan!

Viva, non, non.

Sakura-kun!

Sakura-kun!

Hey, Dokuro-chan!

Not yet! Not yet!

T-The towel...

That's all from Saitama prefecture's Tuna Mayo-chan...

...on how she puts a broken Sakura-kun right back together!

It's over!

My postcard was finally read, but since you were so slow...

Why're you naked?

Well, you arbitrarily...

Just because your father and mother aren't home and you look like that, I...

He's turned grotesque!

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

Um, I'll go back to the bathroom...

Sakura-san...

Zakuro-chan?

Take your time.

Wait, Zakuro-chan! No! Listen!

Apologies, my body suddenly moved on its own.

Sabato-chan?

My name is Babel.

I am chair of the "Angel Precinct of Martial Law Council," alias Lulutie.

I am also Sabato's mother as well.

Remember me from now on, Sakura Kusakabe.

We came today for one reason.

Can I get dressed first?

No need.

Why not?

As of today, Sabato will officially return to the future.

Therefore, I wished to allow for her final farewells.

Really.

What?

What are you doing? Why not quickly say your farewells?

Sakura-kun...

For all those times... I really... really...

Mother! I don't want to go back to the world of the future!

What's all this now?

I'll do more of my best from now on, so please let me stay here!

No.

No. Please, Mother!

No, Chairwoman Babel!

I will not hold back for one who will not listen.

That's...

Seize Sabato, Sealing Hell Sanctuary Rurunerug!

Please save me, Sakura-kun!

Sabato-chan!

Sakura-san!

Zakuro-chan!

Then Babel-chan too!

What are you...

Ow...

Sakura-kun, are you okay? You didn't get hurt?

No, I'm fine. But...

Is everyone all right?

I'm here!

It seems we were all sealed into Rurunerug.

So then this place is...

The interior of the magic item Sealing Hell Sanctuary Rurunerug.

Rurunerug is a magic item that confines criminals.

It seems we were all engulfed.

Then we should get out quickly!

It's futile.

Rurunerug can be opened from without...

...but I do not know how to do so from within.

Meaning we can't get out of here?

So it seems.

But a legend does exist of an angel escaping Rurunerug's confines...

...through their power alone once they were sealed within.

There must be some means of getting outside.

Then we'll be fine. When four angels combine their powers...

Hey, we found something weird.

It's these.

What's this? A lever? The leftmost one is down...

I just moved that one!

And all that fell down!

So it was your doing...

But maybe one of these is the correct lever and the key to escaping.

Please look. There is something next to the levers.

Something's carved into it. A hieroglyph that looks like a plate?

A tub fell when this was pulled, which means...

...it shows what will happen if we move the levers?

Sakura-kun's amazing!

Thanks for the praise over something so little.

Then using these symbols, we can find the one that leads to the exit.

The symbol next to this one is an elevator. We can get out with this.

Hold on a second! Isn't this symbol clearly a ceiling flattening us?

I can pull it, right? It's the one.

Let's think about it more carefully! What's the rush?

I'm begging Sakura-kun so much...

...but he won't let me touch this hard, upright thing.

Fine! Touch it! And pull it down with all your might!

We can get out with this!

Look, on the dot! The ceiling's coming down nicely!

Right... Dokuro-chan, pull the lever back up!

Oh, okay.

Dokuro-chan, didn't you pull the next lever down? Another trap went off!

Oops, I made a mistake.

We got through it somehow.

Dokuro-chan, let me choose next.

I'll try this one.

You listening?

Please, stop choosing on whim and mood! Use more discretion!

It'll be fine!

Look closely! This is most likely a sticky sea urchin!

I'm naked, so I couldn't stand it if one came out!

And this lever...

What are you saying? It's got to be a trap with a huge steel ball rolling out!

No, it's got to be a sun! Meaning it symbolizes outside!

I was right! But why only me?

I'm a boy, and it's usually girls they say that...

No...

Don't look!

Not that! Anything but that hole!

Damn it...

I told you it was the other lever!

We can get out with this!

No way. Is it a huge steel ball?

Oh no!

Stay behind me!

You're all...

I'm sorry. I'm not even close to that level...

Hey, let's all just live here! Let's make our own kingdom here!

Since I'm not at that level, I don't care if I'm a jester!

My secret dance. Shake, shake, shake!

That's Zansu-san's voice! Where are you?

That's Sakura-kun's voice! Where are you peeping from?

Oh, Chairwoman Babel's Sealing Hell Sanctuary Rurunerug is here.

We all got sealed in here!

Please, help us!

Oh, is that so, zansu? That's an easy thing to do!

Zansu-san...

If you get locked in here too, who's going to rescue us from the outside?

Oh!

And I thought we'd be saved...

Sakura-san, if we were able to hear Zansu-san's voice...

...that means there is interaction with the outside world somewhere.

The physical world's contact point is the investigation goal. Here I go.

Angel Eye.

It's right there.

So small!

It's impossible! It's too small for a person to fit through!

But if someone could somehow fit through that hole...

Right, something smaller than a person...

If Onee-sama uses Excalibolg to shatter Sakura-san as usual...

On no. What did I just blabber away?

Hey, calm down, everyone! Question, question!

Even if I'm shattered through the hole, how do I go back...

Please stop!

Sabato-chan?

My diarrhea!

Sabato-chan, hang on. Here? Does it hurt around here?

Don't push places like that!

I'm sorry, Sabato-chan!

What have I done?

No, no, no, don't do that!

Wait a second. There's only one lever left.

Sakura-kun, I believe in you.

Dokuro-chan, here we go.

Sakura-kun!

Don't you let go of my hand!

Right!

Ow!

You're grabbing it too hard! My bones will shatter! It hurts!

Oh no, now we're alone.

Huh?

Hey, can I come over there?

What do you mean "over there"?

Hey, wait...

I wish time would stop like this.

This is bad.

Do what you want.

If you say what I want...

I will...

Thanks, Zakuro-chan. That was way too close.

Sabato-chan, how's your stomach?

It's going to burst soon.

I slept well.

Where is this? Uniqlo?

Please be strong.

Hold my hands.

I'm really sorry to intrude, but...

I'll be with you the whole time!

Could someone listen...

Shut up!

Well, I have the keys to this place, zansu.

Look, the keys to open Rurunerug from the inside are here.

You knocked me out without listening to what I had to say, so...

That legendary angel who got out of there on his own was Zansu-san, huh?

In any case, Sakura Kusakabe, about what you were saying before...

Right, Sabato-chan is a dear friend to us.

I know it may not seem worth it...

...but I'm sure it'll be good training for her.

So please, don't take Sabato-chan with you!

Very well. Sabato, it's only this time.

Yes, thank you very much, Mother!

I'm happy for you, Sabato-chan!

Well, if Lulutie's leading noble family...

...Justilia's daughters, Dokuro and Zakuro, are with her...

...there's no need to worry.

Noble family?

Farewell.

Hold on!

Oh no! My home is gone!

Oh, right, I was going to return to the future...

...so I put my home out into the garbage!

That means I have to make it all from scratch!

More importantly, where am I supposed to sleep tonight?

What is it, Shizuki-chan? Calling me out to here of all places...

Say, do you know what day it is?

What day?

Gosh, you're so indifferent.

It's Valentine's Day.

Oh, I totally forgot.

Final Episode

It's a Valentine's Day Kiss! Dokuro-chan!

It's a Valentine's Day Kiss! Dokuro-chan!

Okay.

With this, the scenario is perfect.

It's occupied.

I said it's...

Sakura-kun, I found you!

Why're you in the girls-prohibited boys' paradise men's room?

While you're saying that, you're making the inside sticky.

This tragedy was caused by you!

Please hurry. Hurry and fix me.

But I have to get out of here.

It's fine! Please get me back to normal...

I guess I can't avoid it.

What are you doing?

I guess I made a mistake.

Am I no good anymore?

We all make mistakes, Dokuro-chan. Up and at 'em.

Right! I'll do my best!

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

It's horrible. What I'm talking about is everything.

Hey, Sakura-kun.

Do you know what today is?

I wonder... It's not your four-type combination vaccine day...

Oh, you know you're looking forward to it!

Even though you're acting like you don't care about it that much.

Today is Valentine's Day.

This is...

It's chocolate, of course.

Hurry and open it up!

Sure.

Isn't it amazing? It's 1/10 scale Sakura-kun chocolate.

Come on, hurry and eat it. I want to see you eating yourself.

No! It's like cannibalism! Never!

Oh, Sakura-kun, you're so spoiled.

Here, open wide!

What's with this chocolate?

They won't melt in your mouth or your stomach acid.

Here's my chance!

Hey, is it good, Sakura-kun?

You're awake?

Huh? This is the nurse's office?

Are you okay now? Nothing hurts?

Yeah, I'm okay now.

Somehow, this bed is really soft and warm...

What are you doing like that, Dokuro-chan?

It's because I heard body heat was good...

...for warming up people who won't wake up.

What's wrong?

My whole body! Every single part is sensi...

Sensi...

Nothing!

S-So what's the secret behind that chocolate's taste?

Um...

Sugar...

And salt...

Baron McMayonnay's signature mayonnaise...

Also...

Sensitive Salaryman hard-core sausage!

That's it!

Sensitive

Salaryman

Episode 7318

Binkan-san!

Hey! Here I go!

Sensitive, sensitive, sensitive, sensitive!

Sensitive, sensitive, sensitive, sensitive!

Sakura-kun, you're still suffering? Maybe I should warm you up...

No thanks! If you do that, my body can't take it!

Sakura, you there?

Sakura-kun, are you alive?

We came to visit you.

Is it okay to open the curtain?

Just a second. Don't open it yet...

Dokuro-chan was nursing me, and...

What was she nursing to the point that she fainted?

Nothing! But she put me-shaped chocolates in my mouth...

She put yours in her mouth?

That's not it!

I understand. We didn't see anything. Let's keep it at that.

It's not like that!

Weird, last time I had that sausage, I went back to normal right away.

Is it because it's hard-core sausage?

Sensitive Salaryman

Will I stay like this forever?

It's a transmission from Lulutie.

Bon voyage, Dokuro-chan!

Hey, Zansu, what's going on?

Remember that thing I lent you? That precious clothespin I used.

Where did you put it?

Oh, that's by the TV...

Secret technique, hiding with a blanket!

Sakura-kun, what did you do?

What is it, Sakura-kun?

I don't have my heart set yet...

W-Well, I'd like to discuss something with you.

With me?

Welcome home, zansu...

Oh, it's Zansu-san. I totally thought a pervert showed up.

I was on standby out of concern for you, Sakura-kun!

Welcome home.

Oh, Zansu-san, are you going somewhere?

No, no, I was waiting for you guys.

Actually, Sakura-kun's body right now is severely sensi...

What are you doing?

I told you in the transmission before, didn't I? To keep this our secret?

Hey, hey, Zansu. Is something wrong with Sakura-kun?

Nothing's wrong. We just promised to hang out today.

Then I want to too!

Sorry, today's...

Of course, Dokuro-chan.

Yay!

Come on, you too, Zakuro-chan.

All right.

Hey, what's this about?

No need to worry, zansu.

Gross!

The truth is to fix your body, the power of two angels is absolutely needed.

Come on, we have to get ready.

Time is of the essence here!

Don't tell me this is...

That's right!

From now on, you are going to be Urashima Taro!

Okay?

Your supersensitive body is an image an angel made up.

This is the result of Dokuro-chan's...

...strong feelings for Sensitive Salaryman, zansu.

And that image can be changed to another image from the angels.

We're about to start a ceremony, the Urashima Taro adaptation...

...abbreviated as UT adaptation, which will purify the poison...

...and turn you back into a 2nd-year junior high student!

Relax, zansu.

The story of Urashima Taro aside...

What is that?

When you say UT, you think Ryuguu.

Ryuguu brings up sea bream and flounder dancing.

Ryuguu Palace didn't have birds! And what is that?

It's a little tight.

Sakura-kun, don't you know about Otohime?

That's a mermaid, not her!

I'll do this to anyone with a problem with my scenario!

It's the worst!

Scene one, Urashima going off on his travels. Start, zansu!

Taro, suddenly fired from his longtime company...

...was brooding and about to go into the sea.

Hold on! I'm a victim of restructuring and about to commit suicide?

I was trying to add depth to the character!

If you keep complaining, you'll never return to normal!

You're already in the water! Imagine you're in Saitama Bay, zansu!

As the cold sea waters of February were just about to take Taro's life...

Don't do it!

In the distant, ancient past, in a city sunken by Earth's shifting crust...

...in Ryuguu Palace, waiting for Taro...

Welcome.

I am the owner, Otohime.

It has been four years since Otohime lost Ryuou...

...and she was using her young body as she pleased.

What's with that French-show type of situation?

On this occasion...

...I would like to thank you...

...for saving the penguin.

The one that w-was saved was m-me, b-but...

I prepared treasure chests to thank you...

...but I would like you to choose one.

Okay!

This small treasure chest...

...or this large one.

Please choose one.

Huh?

It's blank from here on.

The rest of the story is for you to write.

There's infinite potential for you.

Stopping here?

In one of the treasure chests is a magic item...

...the detoxification medicine, souma lune!

You should know which one you should choose right now!

Was there some kind of hint in the story up till now?

Well, the smaller one is the answer in theory.

But is that kind of theory understood by angels?

There's something weird!

No way! That couldn't be, zansu.

Sakura-kun!

There's a voice!

You couldn't know yet.

You couldn't know yet. I do!

I'm choosing this one!

Please hold on, Taro-san!

If you open this treasure chest, we will really become separated.

Z-Zakuro-chan?

Sakura-kun, what happened?

Since the moment you came to Ryuguu Palace...

...I've feared that a day like this would come.

I beg you!

Please live with me in Ryuguu Palace from now on!

S-So good!

I really am in need...

...of this treasure chest.

I understand, but please keep this in mind...

I will always be thinking about you from the bottom of the ocean.

Good, zansu! What an emotional ending for the UT adaptation!

This is what I was after!

I got into a lonely mood...

...for just a little bit.

Nothing's wrong! I'm back to normal!

I didn't become an old man either! Zansu-san, thanks so much!

No problem, zansu. We help each other out in times of trouble.

Hey, where are those two?

They're in the kitchen downstairs, zansu.

Those pictures are going to Lulutie as documentation...

This angle is...

I get it! This point of view is from that pink thing on your head!

Stop it, zansu!

I knew something stunk! You could've just given me what was in the chest!

It was all out of selfishness. Admit it!

Okay, I'll say it, zansu!

But I want you to promise not to pull out my soul if I admit it.

Of course.

To tell the truth...

My... my...

...soul!

Good morning, Sakura-kun.

What are you doing?

I'm making chocolate. I'm helping Zakuro-chan.

I'm sorry, Sakura-san. I completely forgot that today was Valentine's Day.

Please wait a little bit.

O-Okay.

Okay, the last step...

...is to put this in!

Become delicious!

Not that!

Oh no! Now we're back at the beginning!

My body's become sensitive!

Dokuro-chan, don't take that moody pose!

Zansu, the treasure chest!

Zansu-san?

No! No!

Someone, stop me! Please, someone, stop this body!

Someone, stop me! Stop me! Stop me! Stop me! Stop me!

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

Saa minna-san mokoisho ni~!

Okay, everyone, together with me!

Dou te ni tsukutta himitsukichii?

The secret base thatwe made at the bank...

Are yo are yo to dai tension

...eventually became a great society.

Miseku rakuji ni ireta mama

While having fakesalmon roe in my mouth...

Danberu taisou 20 yo 2

...I lifted weights at midnight.

nezumi ni kachirare karada wa gunjou EXCALIBORUGU~

The mouse bit me, and mybody turns ultramarine, Excalibolg.

Semete hakanai inochi nara

If it's a short-lived life...

Bokusatsu Ondo de pi piru piru~

The bludgeoningmarching song, pipiru piru.

Pi piru piru piru~ Pi piru piru piru~

Pi piru piru piru pi pi pi~!

Dorinku baka ra fuda no bashi

I stretch the tubesfrom the drink bar...

Chitaku ni chouketsu nomi houdai

...to my house,and now I can drink all I want.

Uchi de kakteru hamster

The hamster thatwe have as a pet...

hountoni kore hamster nano Datte datte mina to chigau yo

Is this really a hamster?Well, it's different from others.

Kuru kuru mara no kushite size ga naishiatama ni kushite tabe naishi

It's not the right size for the hamsterwheel, and it only eats raw meat.

EXCALIBORUGU~

Excalibolg.

Minna de odorou itsumademo

Let's all dancethis together forever...

Bokusatsu Ondo de pi piru piru~

The bludgeoningmarching song, pipiru piru.

Pi piru piru piru~

Pi piru piru piru~

Pi piru piru piru pi pi pi~

The End