Original subtitles

My name is Sakura Kusakabe.

I was an ordinary junior high student you could find anywhere.

The reason why it's past tense is because one day...

...an angel started living at my house all of a sudden.

So since that day...

...my mediocre but happy daily life crumbled to pieces...

...and instead a daily life full of destruction, despair, and blood started.

Night Mask

By the way, this is the girl I like, Shizuki-chan.

If we could go on a date, just the two of us, without interruptions...

...I could die happy.

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Nandemo dekichau BATTO

The bat that can do anything:

ESUKARIBORUGU

Excaliborg!

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Mahou no gion de jinsei

With this magical spell

Yarinaoshite ageru

I’ll bring you back to life

Iya yo dame yo konna no

That’s disgusting, don’t do it,

Baka baka

You big idiot

Sonna ni gira-gira shinaide

Don’t look at me like that

Onegai dakara (EI!)

Please! Yeah!

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

Chishibuki doku-doku Dokuro-chan

That splashes blood everywhere, Dokuro-chan

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

Shinzou doku-doku Dokuro-chan

That makes your heart bleed copiously, Dokuro-chan

Utte moyashite itabutte

I’ll shoot at you, burn you, harass you,

Umete segande hazukashimete

Bury you, pester you, and humiliate you,

Demo sorette boku no ai nano

But that’s just the way I express my love

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

BATTO de dosu-dosu Dokuro-chan

That makes you spurt blood, Dokuro-chan

Bokusatsu tenshi

Club-to-death angel

Chi mi doro doro-doro Dokuro-chan

That stains everything with blood, Dokuro-chan

Saite kowashite kekaeshite

I’ll rip you up, break you, then kick back,

Shimete yajitte tobokete

Strangle you, heckle you, then play dumb,

Demo sorette boku no ai nano

But that’s just the way I express my love

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi

Dokuro-chan, hurry!

What are you doing? We'll be late!

It's not toasted yet!

It doesn't matter!

You don't have to toast it if you're eating and running.

You need to realize you won't run into anyone wonderful...

...by stuffing toast in your mouth and turning corners!

You're such a romantic!

Wait, a whole loaf's too big!

This isn't the "Rosina Tea House" in front of Kunitachi station! Hey, stop!

Please stop! Watch out!

Are you okay, Sakura-kun?

What's with that?

Even if you keep saying, "I don't want to get rid of this cold...

...by sticking scallions up there..."

...I can promise I won't have any mercy.

You don't have to promise that!

If you don't get going soon, you'll be late, Onee-sama.

Sakura-san.

I'm well aware of that, Zakuro-chan.

See you later!

Have a good day!

Episode 1

It's a Sketching Contest! Dokuro-chan!

It's a Sketching Contest! Dokuro-chan!

Hey, hey, what is that?

This is a painting set.

Huh?

Dokuro-chan, today's the sketching contest, remember?

What?

You forgot something like that?

S-Something like that...

...can't be!

For some odd reason, Sakura-kun's in trouble!

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

Why do you always do this to me?

Well, you said something weird just like that.

Listen. Sketching means to draw pictures.

Today's contest is upstream "Glorious River."

Oh no! Outside?

That's even worse!

Don't throw something like that!

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

Listen. The sketching contest is about painting outdoor scenery!

Scenery?

Yeah, that's the reason we left the house 30 minutes earlier than usual.

Also, what's that hanging from your shoulder?

Hey! It's the painting set and board I always use!

Gosh, Sakura-kun!

Wait up!

Try to catch up to me!

Try to catch up to me! You said it!

Wait up! Wait up!

So...

Today is the sketching contest at this "Tigris Euphrates Nature Park..."

Today is the seventh...

Then number seven on the roll, Sakura Kusakabe.

Yes?

When does the sketching contest end?

I believe at 4 PM.

Yes, that's right.

Also...

Today is Thursday...

Then, Sakura Kusakabe.

If you cut loose, you'll get hurt.

O-Okay.

That's it.

Then please split up, everyone.

Okay!

Why? What connection do I have with Thursdays?

Why'd you say that just to me?

Why's everyone acting normal?

Want to paint together, Sakura-kun?

I'll beat everybody by painting a really good picture.

Yeah, yeah.

Here we go!

Where are we painting?

I have the best drawing spot in mind.

Green Swamp

White Bird Falls

Huh?

Hey, where should we go?

Where'll you go paint for the sketching contest, Shizuki-chan?

You know White Bird Falls at the park?

Yeah.

They say a rainbow forms above it on nice days.

My dear Shizuki-chan is going to White Bird Falls.

Great.

I'll wait till we're alone and I'll pull them out...

Hurry up and say it!

Are we going right or left!

Is Sakura-kun's indecisive mouth this mouth? Is it this mouth?

Or is it lower?

No, it's not!

Then I'll decide! Green Swamp!

Then I'll decide! Green Swamp! No, I want to go...

What is this?

This is White Bird Falls.

It's amazing, Sakura-kun.

Come on, Dokuro-chan, if you get too close, you'll slip and...

Sakura-kun, why you!

I'm sorry.

Okay.

H-Huh? What is this?

An afterimage.

It's because you multiplied yourself out of nowhere...

Well, you suddenly tried to hug me.

No, I just wanted to scare you a little!

Hey, look, this is such wonderful scenery.

Just look!

Wait, is it better over here?

Yeah, it's really good.

This is it.

Why don't we sit around here?

Hey, Shizuki-chan!

Sakura-kun, what a coincidence.

Can I sit next to you?

Yeah.

I'm glad. This landscape's nice.

Why are you here?

Because I'm your angel.

Hello, Shizuki-chan.

Hello.

You know what? Maybe this isn't as great as I thought.

Over here is...

Minami-san?

Hello, Sakura-kun.

My success story...

Sakura-kun, the model can't move!

Why are you painting me?

Wait, this is me?

Stop! Erase it!

Ow, ow! Not me! Erase the me in the painting!

What do we do? Sakura-kun licked the guardian deity statue on the road...

...so the mountain god must be angry!

It's the 12 o'clock whistle!

I'm so full!

I'm digging in!

Dokuro-chan, you're so fast.

Look, this looks exactly like Sakura-kun. So...

We're even!

I don't get you.

Did you make that Sakura-kun sausage yourself?

I cut it, and Zakuro-chan cooked it.

Is your lunchbox homemade too?

Yeah.

Wow, it looks delicious!

Minami-san, you made yours yourself too, right?

Ohagi?

Is there something...

No! I just think you're very skilled.

Sakura-kun, where's your lunchbox?

Mine? They also made mine.

Huh?

What's wrong?

It's gone.

The base of the waterfall?

Did you drop it?

I guess...

Please have one.

Thank you! Are you sure?

It's pureed red bean...

I love that!

Then me too!

You too? Thank...

What's this?

It's "Sensitive Salaryman Sausage."

Sensitive

Salaryman

Episode 124

Binkan-san!

Hey! Here I go!

Sensitive, sensitive, sensitive, sensitive!

Sensitive, sensitive, sensitive, sensitive!

I can't!

If I eat something like this, my body will get sensitive like Ichiro Binkan!

Hey, what are you...

I was right. My body's become really sensitive...

Are you okay?

No!

You two nurse him.

Not like that! I can't anymore!

Thank you for the food!

Okay, most of it is done.

All that's left...

Hey, Sakura-kun, look at my painting!

Hold on. This is a crucial point.

What is this, Dokuro-chan?

Is this how you see the world, Dokuro-chan?

This is normal.

I don't like it!

Let me see your painting too.

It's poor.

How can I say this? It's very unique.

Is it bad?

Why are you crying? Huh?

Is something weird hidden in it? There isn't anything!

Oh yeah!

I'll go change the water for the paint bucket.

Here's my chance.

I'll go too.

Oh, I'll take yours too, Dokuro-chan.

The World of Paintings and Haiku

Okay.

Hey...

If you want, this Sunday...

If you're free...

These are tickets to an art exhibit.

Do you want...

...to go together?

Really?

Of course! Because...

Minami-san?

Are you really sure you want to go with me?

Minami-san, why is your hair like that?

It gets in the way when I wash things.

Sakura-kun, you're so slow!

Hey, what were you doing?

Well, Minami-san was here as I tried to wash the bucket, so...

Right, Minami-san?

What?

He was shaking, saying to let himsuck on the elastic strap...

...of my red and white elementary-school hat.

What?

Sakura-kun, you were asking for libido favors...

...not just from me, but Minami-san too?

I never did that to you!

Hey, wait!

Come back to your senses!

You know White Bird Falls at the park?

They say a rainbow forms above it on nice days.

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

What is this?

This looks delicious!

It's delicious!

Would you like some french fries?

There are three sizes, small, medium, and large!

If I don't sell these french fries, I can't go home!

Thank you very much!

One potato, please.

The french fries aren't gone at all!

Please let me into a warm house, please!

Patrache! Patrache!

I'm too tired now, Patarache!

No. It's normal sightseeing.

Huh?

Isn't this Eckelzax?

Where's Zakuro-chan?

It seems she's reading a book upstairs.

It's from the library.

Japanese Demons Encyclopedia

By the salt water...

...there was a demon that ate and murdered...

I see. She's only nine. It's so admirable.

But it's late already, and staying up isn't a good thing.

Mom and Dad aren't here tonight, so we need to do things right.

Go take a bath while you can.

All right, I'll take a bath with Zakuro-chan. Let me go call her down.

Episode 2

It's a Bubble and Scrubbing Battle! Dokuro-chan!

It's a Bubble and Scrubbing Battle! Dokuro-chan!

Man, you found us. You found us.

I went to Hong Kong recently.

Hey, Dokuro-chan, what are you doing?

Man...

Dokuro-chan?

Zakuro-chan, you're in there too, right?

It's freezing!

What are you doing?

I'm sorry, Sakura-san.

This situation is due to my own actions.

Something with that Japanese demon encyclopedia?

I can't. I'm scared.

Weren't you okay with stuff like this, Dokuro-chan?

Look at this!

Crack princess?

A demon known to live in crevices in rocks and cracks in walls.

Crack Princess

Don't look

She looks like a beautiful girl.

She stares out this way and giggles a little bit once in a while.

She forcefully pulls in people who put their fingers in the crack.

In the end, it's said she takes that person's life.

What's the issue with this demon?

Sakura-kun, aren't you scared?

You're usually such a scaredy-cat!

She's not scary at all.

It's more like she's kind of cute.

That's our Sakura-san!

Well, aren't there scarier ones?

Like this man-eating demon cat.

Like this man-eating demon cat. The crack princess is scarier than that!

Like how?

Like how you can't understand her family's interpersonal relationships.

Like what she's thinking, living in a crack.

It's scary!

I just don't get angels.

I know.

Oh no! There's a hand coming out of the crack behind Dokuro-chan!

Wait, what...

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

I'm sorry.

I was the one at fault for scaring the both of you.

So let's just forgive and forget this one.

And you two should take a bath and clean your sweat off.

I just said something good.

I don't want to take a bath!

Could you please hold off for today?

No!

You played lacrosse at the park with Sabato-chan and sweated, right?

You might be scared alone...

...but you're taking a bath together, so you'll be fine.

All right. I'll take a bath with Zakuro-chan.

Good, I'm proud of you.

So you should take a bath with us too.

Please, Sakura-san!

I can't! That's where you have naked socialization!

No way! I won't be forgiven!

I opposed it.

The three of us taking a bath together...

I opposed it with all my might.

But I can't win against the powers of an angel.

Even under the condition of a bathing suit...

So this was something unavoidable.

Sakura-kun!

Can I come in?

N-Not yet! Hang on!

If there's a crack on the wall, then we don't have to take a bath.

Don't back out now! There are no cracks!

There's only one in my butt! It's okay!

My investigation didn't turn up any cracks. It's okay. It's not scary!

Then we're coming in.

Is there something wrong...

...with my bathing suit?

Would the school one be better?

No, it's not weird at all!

If it's this one, it's not too tight here.

I'm sorry to request such an absurd thing.

Did I come in here too soon?

It's fine! It's totally fine!

So before we take a bath, we should wash our bodies.

Right.

Huh?

But we can't wash ourselves well like this.

Wait, why're you just going au naturel?

That defeats the point of taking a bath with bathing suits!

That's right.

I'm sorry...

Could you tie this for me?

Thank you very much.

I know, Sakura-kun!

To thank you for taking a bath with us, I'll wash your back.

I will too!

Wha?

I haven't even washed your body yet.

I'm fine, so just wash your own bodies.

Oh, I know! This time you can wash my hair for me.

Please.

Please. No choice, I guess.

It feels good. Sakura-kun, you're good.

Does any spot itch?

If any did, what would you do?

I'd focus on washing that spot.

I always wanted to say that line to someone.

Why are you blushing?

What are you trying to say is itchy?

Zakuro-chan, you too?

No, I-I wouldn't want to trouble you or anything.

Don't worry about it. So come over here.

All right.

I'm in your hands.

You don't need a shampoo hat?

Does any spot itch?

You too, Zakuro-chan? Where do angels get itchy?

Then this time I'll wash your head, Sakura-kun.

Sorry to trouble you. I'm in your hands.

Does any spot itch?

S-Stop! My scalp and skull are going to come off! This isn't shampooing!

Thanks, Zakuro-chan.

Um, can I get in too?

I'm getting in too!

Sakura-kun, are you okay? Do you know who I am?

I know, so can I get out of the bathtub?

So cold! There's no way it's the crack princess!

No, they're the true crack princesses.

No, it's cold!

It's okay! The crack princess isn't going to come out, so calm down!

The crack princess is here!

She isn't!

Outside the window!

It can't be...

Damn it, mohawk!

Sabato-chan?

Sakura-kun, why are you like that?

Dokuro-chan and Zakuro-chan too. I-It's a little perverted.

And why are you here of all places?

I came here to bring this back to you.

Oh, that's our lacrosse crosse!

Thanks, Sabato-chan!

You left it at the park?

Thank you for going out of your way.

Don't worry about it.

By the way, do you want to take a bath here?

If you don't warm up, you'll get sick.

Are you sure?

But I feel bad about borrowing your home's bath, Sakura-kun...

Hold on, I'll unlock the front door.

It's dangerous.

Don't do that! If you touch me there...

What is this? It's not warm at all! More like it's super cold!

Hey, don't go wild on top of me!

Rather, I'm losing feeling in my body more than you are!

Come on, let's all get out.

I can't move!

It's too tight!

Please don't move so much.

What are you doing, Sakura-kun?

Sakura-kun, don't do that to my sensitive areas!

Sakura-san, if you move like that, I'll...

I'm not doing anything!

The issue at hand is how we can make space between the four of us.

For example, Onee-sama's "thing"...

...could make Sakura-san very small, and with that space, we could...

What did I just blabber? I don't mean that...

Well, even if you don't mean to...

...it seems Dokuro-chan definitely does.

The bat's spikes are pricking me! My butt's going to split!

Hold on a second, Dokuro-chan! Please don't be so eager!

There has to be another way!

So please not that! Spare me from that!

Dokuro-chan! Dokuro-chan!

Answer me, Dokuro-ch...

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pii!

My nose won't stop dripping.

At this rate, all the moisture in my body's going to come out.

Mother, are you here?

Mother...

Please let me into a warm room.

How about a shake?

I'm so tired now, Patrache.

Saa minna-san mokoisho ni~!

Okay, everyone, together with me!

Chuu gaku ninen no shounen no

The brain syrup of a 2nd-year

Ono no syrup pinku iro

junior high boy is colored pink.

Tenshi no heart wa takan desu

An angel's heart is sensitive.

Binkan sutsuitte ikemasen

It's sensitive, so you can't poke at it.

Boku no shima shima

The ones who see an eyeful

utsuru hitomi ni EXCALIBORUGU~

of my stripes get Excalibolg.

Atama no waka odorenaide

Don't take the halo on top of my head.

Bokusatsu Ondo de Pi piru piru~

The bludgeoning marching song, pipiru piru.

Pi piru piru piru~ pi piru piru piru~

Pi piru piru piru pi pi pi~!

angel shoujo ga oshi ire no

There's an angel girl

Naka de goso goso yatte masu

inside the closet making noise.

bin ni kite ii furette masu

It's violating the moral regulations.

Chijou ha gamen ni mozaic wo

Censor out the airborne signal.

Itsu no maniara you de ni buratto

All of a sudden blood's on both hands

EXCALIBORUGU~

Excalibolg.

Pi piru piru piru pi piru piru~

Bokusatsu Ondo de Pi piru piru~

The bludgeoning marching song, pipiru piru.

Pi piru piru piru~ Pi piru piru piru~

Pi piru piru piru pi pi pi~!

To Be Continued

Next Time

Incidents Happen in a Secret Room! Dokuro-chan!

It's a Valentine's Day Kiss! Dokuro-chan!

Next Time Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan!

Incidents Happen in a Secret Room! Dokuro-chan!

It's a Valentine's Day Kiss! Dokuro-chan!

To pyu pyu!