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Previously on Vanderpump Rules.

Tattooed your name on my ass. That was really strong. Oh my god, you did.

It's a sign of commitment.

I plan on being with you for a very, very long time, but I really just don't

want to mess up. I don't want to do either.

So are you allowed to, like, still go and have drinks with me or no? That's

harmless, right?

I'm not asking to suck your... I'm asking you to have a drink.

It'd be better if we were championing the brand.

You have somebody who's buying when you're talking to, you know, to... What

trying to... Is something wrong with you guys?

I just want to apologize for the way that I acted. I don't trust your

You can do whatever you want. Just do what I get for me.

A joint birthday trip. I don't want James. There was a polite argument for

Kristen. You're trying to act like I'm a...

You psycho, because I don't want Kristen to go on a f***ing birthday trip with

me. Look at this reaction.

Stop!

Treat each other.

You'll be nice.

Hi, Lisa.

Hey, hi.

How are you?

Good. There was poo -poo on the bridge. Come in.

Thanks for seeing me.

Do you want some water? Maybe a Xanax, too, if you have any. I'm trying to keep

my composure with Lisa, but she does have an effect on me. I'll make this

concise. Tom wanted to be here. He should be here if you're going to talk

sangria. Did you do your homework?

Yeah, I did, but I need to learn more about the actual process, the procedure.

What's the red made of?

The red? The red.

No, I can learn that stuff over the night. You should know the product

out and upside down.

I don't know everything I should probably know about the sangria, but I

other things that have been sort of occupying my mind, so.

I feel like our relationship has been marred by multiple letdowns, and I think

I've finally done something right.

I think I've finally nailed it.

What have you nailed?

Should I just pull it out?

God, I don't know what it is.

So I finally went and got it.

Your opinion matters to me. I just wanted to... You're not going to ask me,

you? I won't get down on one knee. No, no, no.

Hold on a second. Ready? No.

Mika, Vanderpump. Stop it. Don't say that. You have an amazing husband, a

beautiful family. You're successful.

Yeah. I'm here today to ask you to forget about all of that.

All right? Stop being so stupid. I want you to run away with me. Stop being so

stupid. Before I say yes, I need to look at the mirror. Ready?

Yeah.

It's gorgeous.

I know.

Isn't it? Yeah.

I feel like I've finally done something right.

This is great.

Yeah. It's so sweet, this ring, and it's so Katie.

She is going to love it. What are you going to do?

Surprise is so key to me. I want to blindside her.

I don't think so.

Wait, wait, wait. This is getting way too complicated. This will be a blip. It

wouldn't be me if it was just super serious.

down on one knee, straightforward, you know. I got to put a little spin on it.

Got to schwarzify it a little bit, you know. It's a little dose of me, and the

rest is very traditional.

Who's going to get a big dose of you for the rest of your life? I mean, really?

You won't find anybody better than her.

I know. I love her so much. I don't want to find anybody else. She puts up with

your crap as well. Who else would do that? Well, hopefully she says yes.

I didn't even think about that. What if she says no?

Oh, my God.

Well, she might.

Get that ring on her finger and walk her down the aisle as soon as possible.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay? But don't tell anybody.

I'm not telling anybody anything.

We should have been whispering this whole time.

I know.

You?

Hi.

Good to see you. Good to see you here.

I'm just here to get some Botox.

And you're right. I know Ariana's not exactly excited about how this tattoo

turned out.

That's so gross.

Excited? Excited? No. I'm excited. It turns out that I know the office manager

at this tattoo removal place.

Girl, Katie is friends with Kristen. So now I'm already cringing at the fact

that... Kristen is going to find out about this tattoo.

I want to see what we're working with. Good job. Let me tell you.

Maybe I can at least get a discount.

Katie was being a little annoying last night. I agree.

Kristen doesn't have that power over me anymore. But look at you now. Look at

you now. Stop, Katie. Shut up about look at you now. Stop saying that. Look at

you now.

She's like a mosquito.

This is the most grudge -bearing group I've ever come across in my life.

Except for when it comes to Kristen.

who is actually the one person that it makes the most sense to just go ahead

not talk to.

Twilight Zone.

All right, let's do it. Come take a seat. All right. This is Emily.

Hi, Emily.

Nice to meet you, Tom.

Nice to meet you. Emily, hi. What's going on?

Well, I got a tattoo.

Where is it?

It's on my butt.

Let me see it. Okay.

Oh, my God.

You don't have to bend over. Okay. Yeah, and it's hot for you, but... The red

ink appears a little bit callous, and what that can indicate is a potential

ink allergy.

If I treated it now, I would give you the same thing in a scarf, and you would

have it for the rest of your life.

Okay. We have to wait. We have to give it time. As long as you don't go

sunbathing nude, we're going to have no problem with it. Well, I mean, if I were

to go on a tanning bed. Who does that anymore?

The GX5000.

We're looking at taking a trip. So I would actually go on a tanning bed to

my skin.

No.

How much does this cost?

You're my buddy, so I want to see what 25 % off gives us. Your total is $1

The average time it takes to remove any given tattoo is between 7 and 15

treatments. It's about a year and a half, I believe.

Oh, God.

Ugh. Awesome.

Why did I do this?

This tattoo took maybe 15, 20 minutes to put on.

It's going to be a year and a half to remove it, plus $1

,000. So let me tell you guys, think before you get ink.

I really hate myself right now.

Can I get three shots of tequila chilled silver?

Lala and I have been talking about getting drinks for a while now.

Is he bringing them over?

Yeah. It's a little weird because Brittany is driving across the country

speak to move here, so I'm not going to go out and get drinks with just Lala.

That's why Kristen and Sheena are here.

I heard that you, mister, kept your mouth shut last night and let Katie just

get, like, annihilated from Tom and Ariana.

So what happened? We got into the topic of the birthday.

So we're already a couple shots deep by this time.

The main thing was the guest list.

Obviously, you know, usual suspects are all invited.

And your name came out first. I was the first on Tom's list, you mean?

Katie had your back. She was like, listen, if you're over Kristen so much,

why can't you just let it go? God forbid you say let it go to Ariana.

She's one of my closest friends, but she has a really bad attitude.

So am I going?

You're putting me in such a tight spot. Hey, it's your birthday. You can invite

whoever you want. I know.

So, do you want me to go?

I mean, I go into Lock and Key with my mindset, like, listen, Kristen, you

cannot go.

Tom said no, but I want you to come. I'm going to fight for you. I'm going to

fight and fight and fight and fight and make you proud.

I mean, I just can't do it. I just can't look her in the eyes and tell her that

she can't go. Just book my ticket and send me the email. It's fine.

Jax needs to understand that Kristen will come if she's invited.

She'll come if she's disinvited. Just because people don't want her there

doesn't mean she's not going to come.

Jax has to make it explicitly clear she is not allowed on this trip. And he's

completely failing.

So here's the thing about Lala.

Don't tell me that you want to be my friend and then continue to hook up with

ex -boyfriend.

Whatever. What is this?

Kristen is just trying to cockblock James, period. It has nothing to do with

James is not allowed any pussy.

Cheers. Can I get a shot of vodka? You know me, man.

I'm one shot ahead of you, honey.

Another?

Sure, no problem.

Did we order unlimited tequila? I'm confused.

Can we take a shot of the alcohol?

That's a margarita.

You can call me a bitch, don't call me baby.

Let me get this out of your way. Can I hug you?

Yes, hug it out. She gives amazing hugs.

I'm sorry, she does.

I'm just saying she gives really good hugs.

See how good they are?

When you get liquor in me, I don't care if the Pope and Santa Claus are in front

of me.

You need me to lick your ear?

Hell, I'll lick the Pope's ear.

I hate to bring this up again.

But I am having a birthday party. If you even right now give an invite and not

to me, I will f***ing murder you.

When's your birthday?

We are going to Waikiki.

Wait, am I invited? Am I invited?

Does that mean we all? You said we.

You're invited to my birthday.

God damn it.

Are you excited?

Wait, don't touch him. Look at him.

Oh, my God. Jack.

This is why you shouldn't have a girlfriend. I agree.

I can read your mind right now. So bad.

If I wanted to take you home and have sex with you, I would have done it a

time ago. What are you doing now?

Leave your hands above the table.

Oh, not bad. He can't do it. He's trying to tuck his chest.

Sorry.

We're not sorry.

We're not sorry.

We're done. We're done.

Bad, bad, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad.

Lala is just now filing her application for skank of the year.

I gotta go out. I gotta put these flames out.

Alright.

God damn, I don't want to hurt so bad.

Coming up.

I just got moved up. You moved in with this one already, yeah? You moved

quickly, Jack. We took the leap.

Oh, my God, I can smell it. That's not vodka, is it? A bottle of Sambuca just

broke. Come on. Now you've got to take everything down. Yeah.

All the glasses, and we open it now.

Well, at least we have those glasses on the other side that we can bring over on

this side while these are all washed.

I hate Sambuca.

Extremely sticky, has a really pungent smell.

I can't think of a worse thing to spill on the bar. What happened?

Don't know.

It stinks.

Will you look at what you're doing? That is why we had this problem in the first

place. I got it. Don't worry. Are you really cut out for this angry business?

What have they done? Nothing.

Did Schwartz at least bring some good ideas to the table? Are you kidding me?

No. Nothing.

Siddly, bloody squat.

Nothing either.

Really, what Schwartz would have just let me do the talking. This is just

getting damn frustrating.

I mean, you guys are going to grow up. You don't know what you guys are doing.

You're jicking around.

I don't care what it is. I just want to see him committed to something. I want

to see him... Find something.

I'm happy that Schwartz is making a commitment, something, even though it's

the sangria.

If he wanted to be a trash man, then be the best trash man. Well, that's a whole

other story.

And I'm so excited just to be in on the fact that I know before she does because

she is going to wet herself.

So, Katie, you did get off work for my birthday, right? Yeah.

Remember, you've got to dress up. Oh, cool.

The animal makes everyone dress up.

Can you stop worrying about what you're wearing and call it shiny bright?

You know, cleaning a shelf is better with some coaching.

Good luck.

So you know, don't you? You know.

I knew you knew. Who else knows?

Nobody knows.

Schwartz has entrusted me to be his proposal accomplice.

The fun is just getting started.

All right, all right, all right. You should see it first, dude.

You want to do it right.

Gorgeous. It kind of looks like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction. Are those all

diamonds on the side? Yeah.

So do you want to get married? Do you? Marriage has always been something I've

looked at as like, ah, you know, eventually.

But with Ariana, that someday has gotten closer than where it was.

Let's put it that way. Well, we've got to get the other guy out of the way

first, haven't we?

Yeah. I mean, I hope that goes according to plan. I think it'll go good.

You do? Yeah, I'm really nervous.

All right, I better go.

I'll send somebody to help me. All right, thanks.

Sorry about that.

I'll make sure that we put like a sparkler or something on it when it

All right, we'll see you then.

Hey.

Hi, honey.

Are you close?

Yeah, I'm close. I'm very, very excited.

I'm very excited.

All right, can't wait to see you. Okay, can't wait to see you too. I'll see you

in a minute.

All right, bye.

Hi.

Hey.

I made it. You made it.

Look at all these boxes.

I know.

This is really happening.

What do you got in there? A bunch of clothes and shoes.

Oh, my God.

And the trampoline, too.

Whether I want it or not anymore, it's kind of too late.

How am I going to fit all this in my apartment?

We're going to make it happen.

We're going to make it happen. I'm sorry that I couldn't take the day off. It's

okay. I have to work.

I'll give you my keys. I packed it up by myself. I'll unload it by myself.

Do you want to come in? Yeah, that's fine. Come in for a minute.

Don't get me wrong. I'm excited Brittany's here, but, you know, it is

little fast.

You're a Cali girl now. I know.

Kentucky to California.

Hey, what's up?

Hey.

It's like a... We met before that, I'm telling you. Yeah, Brittany, I just got

moved up. You moved out here? We're about to be living.

With this one. You moved through this one already, yeah? Yeah, sure did.

You moved quickly, Jackson. We took the leap.

Max again.

This time next year, Brittany will not be in the picture, I swear.

Well, best of luck to you, darling.

Thanks, have a good night.

We have a lot of things going on this week. I got my birthday,

Tom's birthday, birthday dinner, birthday lunch.

We have Hawaii coming up, so there's a lot going on.

I'm excited.

So.

That'll be fun.

Here's the keys.

Okay.

Drive safe. You can go home and take a nap, and then I'll wake you up when we

get home, and we'll celebrate.

How are we going to celebrate?

Oh, I don't know. I have some ideas.

Okay.

I love you, baby.

Okay.

Drive safe.

All right. Bye, baby.

Look. Hi, mister.

You look pretty.

Thanks.

Yeah.

She's moving in with him.

She just told me she's moving in with him.

He told me that they were just, like, kind of seeing each other.

Are we dating? Absolutely.

Would I call her girlfriend yet? No.

I don't know. I don't think he's dating anymore.

We're not talking about it.

This is exactly what I was telling you about, though, when I said you're going

to see his true colors. I mean, here he is with his girlfriend.

That's his girlfriend.

I am so happy that Jack did not come home with me. One, I wouldn't have

remembered. Two, Brittany is his girlfriend.

Not just some girl from Kentucky that he knows.

The real live girlfriend that he hasn't cheated on.

At least not with me.

I feel badly for her because literally last night I was flirting with him, he

was flirting with me. You were all over him. Yeah.

We were flirting with each other, whatever, and he was like, can we

tell anybody?

I'm not trying to settle down with Lala or get married to the girl, for God's

sake, you know, but Lala should have honestly fucked the shit out of me by

though, because, quite frankly, she's just been teasing me. I mean, Lala,

honestly, it kind of just pisses me off you going off doing that with being snot

-nosed over there. It's just, it's gross, you know?

I do have a good time with James, but I also don't want a relationship.

In my head, we're one step up from cuddle buddies, one step down from

We're Netflix and chill. I don't fucking know.

I definitely, last night was my bad.

I feel like you should give me credit because I was completely honest with you

just now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not like raising my voice angry or anything. I

can't say I'm not upset, but you know. You certainly know how to make a boy

jealous.

Having Kentucky Fried Chicken move in with him into his little apartment.

Good boy, Jack.

Here's the awkward thing, though. What?

I got invited to Hawaii for Jackson Tom's birthday. Oh, my God, dude. Do you

what he's trying to do? He's trying to make sure he can, like, get with you and

then try and get with her. What? That's exactly what's going to happen. Dude,

he's a grown -ass old man. If that's, like, the way he works, what the f*** is

wrong with this guy?

Guarantee you that's his game plan.

I'm going to be going, too, because I'm not missing a trip to Hawaii. That's for

damn sure. I'm going to walk around all day with a f***ing coconut in my hand.

Just the coconut in your hand, please.

Naked with a coconut in my hand.

Mmm.

Coming up.

It's Ariana in his ear that makes it worse. It's specifically said, if you

are going to be friends with Kristen again, then you're not my friend.

No one tells me who I can and can't be friends with.

Yes. It's your favorite star employee.

That voice, I doubt it somehow.

I had to come and get my paycheck.

I can't believe that I actually pay you.

It's unbelievable. I work hard.

Yeah, come on.

Um, question. Yeah. It's mine and Tom Sandoval's birthday coming up next week.

You wanted to invite me to your party. Actually, I wanted you to jump out of

cake. Oh, yeah. Okay, no problem. Next question.

We were thinking of doing it in Hawaii.

Hold on a second. When is it?

Next week.

Next week? The schedule's already been done. I hate it when they organize these

kind of elaborate trips and they all want to go together because it kind of

the restaurant in a little bit of a spin.

But they don't think about that. They're just thinking about their trip. We want

to do it during the week, like a Tuesday to Friday situation because it's

cheaper, because we all have to work, and the weekends are just too expensive.

We'll do it back Friday night?

Yeah.

How many of you?

Myself, obviously, Tom Sandoval, Katie, Sheena, Ariana, Lala, Faith, which...

Brings me into inviting Mac as well. Why invite Mac?

He's been hanging out with me I'd

rather you didn't invite max to be honest

these trips can kind of get a little crazy then tattooing there are

Drinking shots out of people's butt

We're getting in a punch up you want to go

Let's go!

What mother would want their son to go away on vacation with Jack Taylor?

I mean, is there a mother out there? I doubt it. If he gets in any trouble... I

mean, Peter's going too, so Peter likes to look out for Meg.

Peter's going as well. Oh, you forgot to mention that my assistant manager's

going. I forgot to mention that. Just a little thing. Oh, Peter's going too. I'm

not going to be compromising anything because of your birthday.

So you make sure to tell each and every person they've got to get their own

shift covered.

Sounds good.

I'm not going to leave you fully shorthanded. I'm going to leave you a

busboys.

James will be here. You just don't like James. You've never liked James. Well, I

don't really need a reason. It's my birthday. I don't want him there.

Okay. Well, it's me. What do I care?

And I'm also bringing Brittany.

So it's serious now, isn't it?

It's as serious as it can be at this point. As it can be, as you're capable

being. She moved here.

She moved here for you?

It just kind of happened.

She'll see through you.

You think so?

Oh, yeah.

It's not going to take long.

Right? She's under the 90 -day trial period.

Oh, for God's sake.

Ew. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Let me know if you need it stiffer.

Oh, try this.

Try this. You know your drink.

Can we really just hang out and just turn up in Hawaii, though? Because I

need to get out of the U .S. period.

Well, actually, Hawaii is the U .S.

I love and adore Faith.

She's just so genuine.

Like, I just get a good vibe from her. I like her.

Well, I have news for you. I touched James' pee -pee.

What? How big is it?

I'm just really curious to see what it is that you find sexually attractive

about James.

I don't know.

I don't really know what I'm doing with James right now. I'm breaking my own

rules. Rules I made up, I'm going against.

With James, like, I just want to make out with him and hang out with him all

time. The thing with Jack, though, it's like, I don't really want to hang out

with Jack, but there's this weird sexual tension there.

We went to Lock and Key the other night, like, making comments about, like,

we're going to f***, and I'm, like, returning, whatever, but Jack's walked

out. And then I text Jack at, like, 3 in the morning that just says, Come get in

my bed. I notice this the next morning. Home moment. Hashtag home moment.

Jack doesn't tell me much, though. As far as I was concerned, he and Brittany

were not together.

When a guy is in a relationship, I have no problem not flirting. I can back off.

If I knew this type of stuff, then I would definitely be acting a completely

different way. You would.

But drunk Lala tends to forget those rules.

The goal in Hawaii is to remember, don't flirt with Jax when you're intoxicated.

When it comes to Jax and Brittany, I do like Brittany. But at the same time,

Brittany knows who she's dating.

Figure it out.

Memories on the street.

And I'll drive this cake. It's right there.

You've never been here. You haven't been to her place, have you? I haven't been

to her apartment, no.

You don't have to know.

Welcome. You have really nice feelings. Nice.

Finally having Katie and Sheena over to my apartment means the world.

We've been friendly lately, but...

I think this is our next step into being friends again. Okay, so I have your

hopefully really good lasagna. No carbs, no meat.

Is my name in this?

People I want to punch in the face.

Ariana's name is probably first.

Kristen, someone I was so close to for a long period of time.

That's how I get my aggression out these days. We've definitely had some really

bad times.

What the f*** have I ever done to you? Stop.

I've done nothing but have your f***. We're three years straight. But the fact

is, Kristen has been trying to make amends. And she and I are just

that. It's just so cute.

Thanks. The walls are a little bare because I had to de -James the house.

Yeah. Getting there. It's my first little. All by yourself. I like it.

And sometimes I miss living alone. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

How are things with Schwartz?

He's been on my nerves a little bit. He went to Vegas, which was not happy about

it. I was like, dude, like, oh, man. Then he just got Bubba tattooed on his

right foot. Oh, I heard about that.

So he does these things. That's permanent.

That's, like, more permanent than a fucking ring on your left hand.

So I'm trying to not have a big reaction because I don't want to ruin it.

I went ring shopping with Schwartz. I know the proposal is coming. I don't

when because he hasn't told me.

I'm just like... Obviously, I know Jax has been talking to you about wanting to

invite you to the birthday, but he hasn't really been as honest with

about it. So when we've been around... I've been friends with Jax longer than

anyone other than Sandoval.

But it's Ariana in his ear that makes it worse. According to her, you want her

to die.

I know, I get it. It was crazy.

But the way they're acting is as if, like, you, like, killed their dog.

And then, like, took a s*** on it and then put it in the mail and sent it.

I mean, just some of the same stuff. I'm like, stop victimizing yourself.

And if someone apologizes, just be like, okay, cool.

She has specifically said, well, you guys are going to be friends with

again, then you're not my friend. She said it that night.

Like, she said it multiple times, and I'm sorry. No one tells me who I can and

can't be friends with.

Hannibal's never going to agree to wanting me to cut. He never did.

He won't. Like, Jack literally said today, and he goes, I'm sorry that you

are having to deliver this information to her.

I have to give up on Hawaii.

Aloha, Ariana, you won.

I don't want to throw away my friendships with them, but when you're

unreasonable, what am I supposed to do?

Right. It's stressing me the f*** out. My PMS is, like, at an all -time high

right now. Like, don't...

You pissed me off this week.

Don't do it.

Coming up. Make sure whatever you're going to say before you whip that ring

make it really fast.

Ring then? Mini speech?

Yeah. Well, I think mini speech then ring. Then she's going to know it's

Hey, what's up, man? What's going on, big daddy?

I'm all hungover.

Looking a little bedraggled, but I got you.

Really? Yeah.

For real? Come take a look.

Dude. Look at this. Thank you, man. Watch how sexy this is.

Hey. It's a baby.

Will you continue being my friend?

I got to practice.

Man, we'll get to that.

I'm a little nervous.

I got some fresh digs. I thought I'd run it by you.

Yeah? I want to be fresh tonight. I had a nice, healthy breakfast. I worked out.

Now that it's like within a few hours, Hours of going down.

I'm a little worried about so many moving pieces.

My advice to make it more of a surprise, make sure whatever you're going to say

before you whip that ring out, make it really fast.

Ring then? Mini speech?

Yeah. Well, I think mini speech then ring.

Then she's going to know it's coming, so you whip that ring out right away.

Well, she's going to know it's coming when I get down on one knee.

Can I be standing behind Katie like a pageant mom?

Coaching me in squats here? No, don't ruin it. This is by far the biggest step

and commitment that Schwartz has ever taken or had in his life.

I can't help but to feel a sense of pride in knowing that I have at least

shape Schwartz a little bit.

We're going to eat dinner. After they clear the entrees, that is the cue. What

if after the entrees start getting cleared, I make like a birthday speech?

No, no, no, don't do that. Don't do that. No, that'll confuse me.

I'm not nervous, but...

You sure?

Yeah. Maybe I should have simplified it a little bit.

No, yeah, yeah, I'll be cool.

So I go down on one knee, and then hopefully she says yes.

It'll be so surprising.

I need to give her a second to acknowledge what's going on, and then

like, bada -bing, bada -boom.

P .S. I love you.

Let's go to Hawaii and have lots of fiancé sex.

Amazing.

Hawaii fiancé sex? It's got a great ring to it.

Dude, let me see what you got over there. All right, you want to see an

Yeah. This, I was going to do this with this.

I don't want to look conspicuously overdressed. You don't think it's too

I styled Schwartz on his very first night out in L .A. All he had was flip

-flops and really torn jeans.

Yeah, it's double -breasted. It's 100 % Topshop.

Nothing's really changed, so of course he's coming over here for some style

advice. Dude, Ty, just don't button it. I like it, dude. I think it's good.

Yeah. Dude, I'm your ace. I'm ready to fucking roll. Yeah.

Dude, we've been through a lot, man. Dude, that's real talk, man. Would you

think that, like, answering a Craigslist ad. My oversized polo shirt.

Remember I just went in circles when I first walked in here?

I was so overwhelmed.

I was fucking terrified. I didn't leave my room for three months.

I played online poker every single day.

Our friendship started.

From a Craigslist ad.

Schwartz was living in Florida and he had dreams of moving to Hollywood.

I just had a real deadbeat roommate beforehand.

We had the same name, we were the same age, same initials. It just seemed like

fate. It's crazy to see how far this friendship has come.

From Craigslist conversations to f***ing being by my side when I proposed to my

girl. Holy s***, man. That's awesome, man. Dude, give me a hug. Alright.

Give me a hug, man. Alright.

I love you, dude. Dude, just no crying before me tonight, okay? I'm not, I'm

not, I'm not.

You're going to look great tonight.

Iron that shirt, though. I'll send you a pic. I'm going to iron it.

I'll iron the shirt.

I love you.

Love you, dude.

See you at dinner.

All right.

What do you think, Charlotte?

Yeah? I feel good about it, too.

Oh, you're going to get the penne Sicilian pasta. It's like pasta.

Honestly.

I don't know how they make the sauce, it's unbelievable.

What the fuck?

Tuesday... Wednesday...

Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Are you not supposed to be on the floor? Yeah, I'm just checking the schedule

real quick. I want to see if I can get covered.

Covered for what? Monday through Friday.

I heard everyone's going to Hawaii, so I wanted to join them and see if I can

get covered.

Listen, I don't think you need to worry about Hawaii.

Just saying. Why do you say that?

Have you actually been invited to Hawaii?

Well, I'm assuming I am. Me and Tom are buddies. Everyone else is off.

You're not on the best of terms with Jack. Talk to Jack.

I have spoken to Jack. What did Jack say?

Why he doesn't want me to go I don't understand why you want to go in fact it

was at this very spot Just a little while ago you guys wanted to kill each

you don't know me

Lala the entire

week off so she's gonna be going faith has the entire week off She's gonna be

going which means max is gonna be going Those are my three closest friends right

now Jackson. I don't get along, but it's not like I can't stay out this away for

four days while I'm enjoying myself in Hawaii and I'm probably going to be

staring at Lala's tits the whole time so it's not going to really matter.

I'm going to talk to him and I'm going to get it covered. That's the best I can

do right now. I'm not missing this shit. Can you go back on the floor? Stop

gawking at the bloody schedule.

Can I take a picture? Forget about the schedule. Take a picture of what? I'm

going to take a picture of the schedule so I can make sure that I'm going to get

this covered.

You can get out of here. I'm telling you now. Go back.

All right.

Ridiculous. Coming up. I can't breathe. I can feel my heart rate just start

accelerating, and I'm like...

Happy birthday.

Hey.

Hey, guys.

Hey, look at you.

Look at you, man.

This whole birthday dinner and drinks is just the front for Schwartz's

engagement. Happy birthday to Tom. Happy birthday, Tom. I'm so excited for

Hawaii. Yeah.

How do you get her dressed up out of the house in front of a bunch of people and

have her distracted?

I mean, my birthday is just, it just has to be it. It's the perfect opportunity.

Eye contact, everyone.

Good sex, eye contact.

Me and Tom look at each other right when he says that.

Are you guys ready to order? Yeah. All right. The other one I was looking at,

but I think I'm going to go with the Mickey Cohen.

Unless I want everything to go right tonight, I can't help but worry and

acknowledge that there is a chance that some things might go wrong.

I wanted to order crab cakes. Would you get brussels for that?

Sandoval is the only other one at the table that knows what's going on. I

tell anyone else because I didn't want them anticipating the moment, and I find

myself anticipating the moment.

My best friend tonight is definitely beer. I'll have another.

Hey, Brittany. Here's a formal welcome to L .A. Hey.

How many hours did that try?

It was like 32 hours without stopping, of course. I just can't believe you did

it by yourself.

Yeah.

I obviously love you so much.

I didn't have room for anybody to come with me. I heard you showed up. There's

no room for even barely even you. You were like this in the studio. So where

all that stuff going?

My studio is great for me. I refuse to pay a lot of money in rent.

So anticipation is like peaking.

When you're a bachelor, that's one thing, but now you're a couple. Right,

I'm just like... Girl needs her closet baked.

Can we start with some oysters?

Save the oysters for Hawaii.

Save my liver and my waistline for Hawaii. Yeah, we've got to take it easy

week. Maybe not tonight.

We have a lot to do next week. And then I went and cleaned out H &M and Zara.

It's like they're set from Hawaii. Everything in there is like flowered

you know, like Hawaiian shirts. So you feel like a dad, right?

Yeah. Oh, my God. He smells like a tourist. I am. Brittany, are you

domesticating it?

I guess.

You've got to teach Brit the L .A. way, man. You've got to, I mean.

You wait as long as you can to get married.

You got to be more selfish.

I have Katie exactly where I want her. I mean, she is more or less giving up

hope that we're ever going to get engaged.

Weren't you supposed to be married by now?

Like I recall last year. All right, next subject.

Is that a crab cake?

Yeah. You should get a crab cake too, babe.

Oh, dear.

This is the price to get an lobster roll. Pretty much anything.

What about the hotel? Is it like on a beach? Yes.

I got the ring, came up with the idea, orchestrated it. But the cue is when

clear the entrees. That'll be so fun.

I want to see Jack try and ride a horse.

Can we please ride horses?

I can feel my heart rate just start accelerating.

I can't breathe. I think it's the best.

Abercrombie all over again. Bunch of dudes playing football in the water

Call each other Chad and Zach.

I know you wouldn't normally be standing on a hood of a junkyard car like stark

naked. There's no way that makes sense in this picture.

I guess because it's black and white. No, but your hair's parted.

That makes sense.

It's funny because it's something I'm so well prepared for yet.

That moment before, it's just terrifying.

Another. French fries? Yeah, you got it.

Their oatmeal, blueberries, and butterscotch. They're the best thing

had in my mouth ever. No offense, Schwartz. They're the best thing. They

better than Schwartz. Ever.

So, you know, yep.

Are you f***ing with me right now?

What? What are you wearing?

Shut the f*** up. Is he reposing or what?

I see this guy down on one knee, and I see the look on his girlfriend's face.

Oh, my God.

Of course, Tom has to draw

attention to it. I'm trying to not, like, feel awkward or sad about it.

You know what, actually?

Actually, you guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

Can I take over?

Sorry. I'll take it from here.

Katie Maloney.

No, you're not.

You're the love of my life. No, you're not.

Oh, my God. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Lady, you never said yes.

Katie Maloney, you're the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my

with you.

Lady,

you never said yes.

Yes, of course.

And I'm just like, oh, my God.

It's about time.

I had no idea.

Wow.

It turns out he was period.

I'm engaged.

You're such a bitch to me today.

My allergies.

Definitely not crying.

Congratulations. I'm very proud of him. I mean, he's stepping up to the plate.

Another one bites the dust.

Bobby, I did a modeling job with her last week. He's been talking about it

the day I met him.

Oscar, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. How fast was your heart

beating? Oh, my God.

It feels better than what I imagined it would feel like. All the time, I thought

he never listened to me, and he listened.

Mom. What?

I woke you up because I have good news.

I'm engaged.

He doesn't believe it.

I'm thinking to myself, why didn't I just do this sooner? Because it feels

great. Perfect.

So cute.

It's going on Instagram. It's official.

Special, special thanks to Tom for letting me steal some of his birthday

thunder. I'm so proud of Schwartz right now. I love you, dude. I love you, man.

It was so awesome, man. It couldn't have gone any better.

Congratulations. It was a four -year engagement.

It's not funny.

It's not funny.

There's a lot of things that could have been wrong, but they didn't.

And it was the fairytale ending.

Look at that. Look at that. I got a peppermint stuff.

You do. You have that.

You're very good to be on day off the on say now Next

time

on Valentine rules, I gotta let some people know who's coming to Hawaii who's

not coming to Hawaii It's my birthday. Yeah, yeah, what I say goes.

I love to flirt with Jack, but I don't know how to stop.

I just heard you guys were, like, whispering in each other's ears. I'm

have to talk to her about it.

Your presence does make me feel uncomfortable.

Your own family has noticed a change in your personality.

You guys aren't true friends? Okay, that's good.

Don't listen.

I'm just excited to go back to Hawaii.

I can't believe I'm about to get on a plane with these.

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