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season on Vanderpump Rules

Something's going on and I don't like it. I smell trouble. Just don't break

more hearts. I'm sure people have warned you about me. Of course.

I do definitely need another girl's name tattooed on my arm.

I love you.

So who did you f*** Friday night? I'm curious.

I'm sweaty and we did not have sex. I'm a f***ing liar.

James, leave Kristen.

And now he's hooking up with the new girl.

I'm Lala. I'm Lala. Lala. Lala's like that pretty hot girl that wants to be a

slut, but wouldn't admit she's a slut, but really, she's a huge slut. Some

people call me a bitch, but I just call it having a f***ing badass life.

Sit the f*** down. Alright, alright.

Chill the f*** out about your goddamn band and your stupid ass music.

Stop making everybody look like s*** because you're too much of a pussy to

to your f***ing wrongdoing.

He's just been drinking like so much lately.

You're addicted to pills ever since I've known you guys. Holy s***. He needs to

get clean. He needs to take responsibility for the fact that he's

girl. And he needs to get it together.

I moved up here and changed my entire life to be with you. I had a boob job.

Surgery that I paid for. You are nothing. You are the bottom of my shoe.

most powerful bitch in the world. I'm giving you a heads up that there's a war

coming. I just don't want to hang out with Kristen. That's fine.

and let it go.

Jackson's got arrested.

Who's going to post the bail? What can I do? I'm locked in a cell. I'm never

going to be nice about you until you radically change. How am I going to

radically change? Maybe like a lobotomy might help. I can't make the commitment.

You've went out just like a big bloody wussy pussy.

Katie Maloney, you're the love of my life.

We're both part.

Her perfect life with her perfect boyfriend and her perfect stupid.

She's crumbling right now. I can't believe she's back in the picture.

Can I tell you what I want?

What do you want?

You hate me, Lisa. You're not important enough to hate the town.

Peter. Good afternoon.

How are you? Don't forget we've got a meeting.

Two minutes.

Got it. Last year was incredibly demanding. I was focused on opening

Hello,

you two.

I'm thrilled to say it's been a great success. But now I'm turning my

back to Sarah. Katie.

How are you? Good?

Don't forget, meeting.

One minute.

How are you? You can kiss me.

I'm great. How are you? I'm good. Are you coming to the meeting?

Of course.

All righty.

Playtime's over.

Just want to touch base with you, see how you're all doing.

We're having some renovations done, as you've seen.

giving sir a lick of paint and obviously jack is having his own personal

renovations done i'm also renovating myself this is round three on my nose

what's wrong with your ear the ear so what they did

i developed some

calluses it created a bump i didn't like the way it looked vanity reasons i went

in and i changed it again New fresh menu, we like this. Wow, those are

pretty. So we're making an effort. I also want to talk about the fact that

service has dropped from 18 % to now it's 16, 17%. Gratuity?

Yeah. Okay.

So our service needs tweaking.

I care a lot about the gratuity. It's not because it's money in my pocket.

not. But it's about the diner's experience.

I'm always looking for perfection.

You, I have a problem with a glass of wine was thrown at pumps.

Kristen, yet again, tried to come in to pump, and I've been DJing every single

night.

Well, I need you as a buffer here.

I'm willing to definitely work as a buffer boy for you, like, as long as I

keep DJing. You've been doing a really good job. Thank you. I totally support

you on that. Right. However, I want to hear about the glass of wine.

I didn't throw no glass of wine. Kristen's been coming in with her

Well, why is she coming in to pump? I don't know. She's just day drinking on a

Sunday. I don't know. On a Monday.

On a Tuesday.

Okay, Arianna. Okay, okay, okay. Throughout the years, me and Kristen

had our ups and downs.

And our downs.

He's the who hooked up with my fucking boyfriend.

And our downs. I want you to admit it to me. I'm not lying to you, Tom.

And our downs. I'm tired of arguing all the time, man.

I'm just really glad she's out of my life.

Sorry, James. I gotta say again, better you than me, pal.

So let's just make a decision right now.

Kristen is not in pump and not in sir when you're working, okay?

All right.

I've worked too hard on becoming the DJ to go back to bussing tables because of

Kristen. There's still kind of problems with some of you committing, you know,

to the restaurant and being lazy arses and not showing up.

Tom, I'm looking at you mainly.

You've worked probably six...

Truly, though. A thousand percent it's true.

I know for a fact I'm one of Lisa's best bartenders, but for some reason she's

deciding to single me out.

When somebody's here one week and then they're not here for three weeks, it

doesn't work.

Don't throw me under the bus and make me look like an ass. I'm your under the

bus and have it backwards and forwards over you. I don't care. No.

I am 54 years old. I deserve respect.

You want to go head -to -head with me, Tom? Bring it, because you're not going

to win this one.

Do you understand? We're doing the best that we can.

Well, the best isn't good enough.

Okay, let's have a great service tonight.

We're good, but we've got to get better, okay?

That meeting was interesting.

I was scared for a minute.

It was coming from every angle.

I kind of just had a laugh.

Well, I'm looking forward to your birthday.

Me too. Very much.

This last year has been amazing.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful.

I now declare you to be husband and wife.

Married life has been amazing.

I'm now going into a new chapter of my life. I'm turning 30.

I just wanted to do something so fun, so...

We're going to do a decade -themed party.

And, you know, any excuse to be the center of attention isn't always the

idea for me.

I need to get a belt, so I'm doing like a virgin.

Madonna. She and I started becoming good, close friends towards the end of

summer, and Stassi and I's friendship was done.

I have to deal with these people, and you are the last link to that. Oh, shut

up, Stassi.

I'm happy now, and it is a little liberating.

I heard a bit of information about Sassy Patrick.

Apparently, like, they were going through tough times and have decided

order to resolve those tough times, they need to live separately.

That's like Schwartz being like, hey, before we get engaged, I think I'm going

to move out and live away from you and then see if I want to come back. Like,

who does that?

It better be a bridesmaid in your wedding, bitch.

We'll think about it.

About nine months ago, I gave Tom an ultimatum. Either put a ring on it or

your bag.

You have six months.

But I don't feel like you think I'm serious.

I know you're serious.

But the question is, are you? You can call me a pushover. You can call me

Whatever you want. But I am confident that a ring is on its way. Well, you're

not going to be practically engaged forever.

And it will not be on a string.

Ha, ha, ha.

More sangria for the table, anybody?

Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, what's going on? Got some more glasses for you. This is the punishment

get for getting a nose job.

Lisa wants me to stay behind the scenes because right now I'm not that pretty to

look at, but after this is all healed, I'll be really good to look at.

So that meeting, not to pry into your business, but from what I hear, you're

doing pretty good at the DJing thing right now. Do you really need Kristen to

start f***ing up your thing, man?

Well, Lisa's relationship with Kristen hasn't always been the best thing. I get

it, I get it.

But what she's doing is affecting your job, don't you think?

Well, yeah.

I feel like Lisa was being very lenient with me earlier and gave me a warning

because that was, you know, scary. What if it does start jeopardizing my job

then? Then I'm pretty much f***ed. Mark my words, man, she's kicking time bombs,

man. And I'm looking at you as you're a young guy, and you're focusing on your

DJing career.

You want to move it up. Listen, I know that we haven't kicked it as much in the

last couple months, but we've been in the same group of friends for a while

I know. You hang out with my ex -girlfriend, which kills me to death.

Does it really?

It does.

Over the past six months to a year, Carmen was the main girl in my life.

You're 35 years old.

Stop with the partying. Get focused. Get on track. Get your life together.

Carmen and I are not dating anymore.

You know, we talk once in a while. But Carmen is friends with Kristen, which

really pisses me off.

Apparently a friend of mine then asked her out. They've never fucked up, have

they?

Uh, they may have kissed.

Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, that may have happened in a hotel room.

Of course it bothers me that Carmen's seeing other guys.

She... broke it off before I kind of was ready to.

There's been a few girls in my life that are really good at twisting that knife,

and she knows how to do it.

I'm staying out of it, man.

I'm just going to keep my head down, work a little bit, DJ tonight, keep it

cool, you know? All right. All right, mate. I'll see you in a minute.

No. No, no, I swear to God.

No, no, no, I did not.

When you're telling a guy information about a girl, you don't want to think,

you're going to have to go and ask him about not telling her.

Don't go running to your girl five seconds after to go blabber your mouth

it. That just goes ahead and makes me look like an arse.

Oh my God, you're so annoying. Then why am I talking to you? He's going to text

Carmen everything.

You're listening to what the f*** Jax is talking to you? You're a f***ing idiot,

Kristen.

F***ing dumbass.

Coming up. You shouldn't have texted Carmen right after I talked to you. Stop

running your mouth about things that are not relevant.

Stop coming here to my place of work and f***ing up for me.

Enjoy your dinner. Enjoy your dinner. You shouldn't have texted Carmen right

after I talked to you. I could text Carmen. Now Kristen's sitting there with

Carmen and she texted me that you're telling Carmen that I told you about all

these things.

But you did tell me about this. But why are you texting me? Who cares? Why do

you care?

Because this is what I have to deal with, Jack.

Jack doesn't give a shit that he sold me out to my girlfriend. I don't even

think he thought twice about it. He probably didn't even think about it

Jack says bro code. His bro code is you bros.

James, what's the problem? Nothing. Nothing's a problem.

All right, whatever.

I heard we have a birthday this weekend.

I'm just trying to figure out this bill.

You ready to go?

We had a bit of a long day, to be honest. Do I have to?

I had a long meeting with the staff.

Sandoval gave me a bit of attitude.

Not happy with him at all right now.

I have really been frustrated with Tom Sandoval. I can't have him just showing

up to pick up a shift when he feels like it. If Tom's not committed, there's no

place for him here.

You want me to torture him? No, not yet, but I might need to call you in later.

The heavy artillery.

The day you need me to help you in here is the day you retire.

OK. I'll leave this here together.

All right.

Wait for me, baby.

How are we enjoying it all?

Very good.

Hi. How's the lounge life?

Loungey. So apparently I'm scheduled four times this week because Jack

to get his nose fixed.

You're coming to my party.

Yes.

Yes. I'm coming. Okay.

You do know James is DJing, right?

There's so many other DJs. Dude, I'm not saying James is a great DJ.

James, Shay, and I are still cool. We're still friends. Him and Kristen are not

going to stay together forever. We all know that. Is she coming to a birthday

party? She's not invited.

With Kristen, you have to actually ban her from the premises.

Otherwise, she will show up.

It's because I want to be able to have fun. And I don't want to.

There's like a wicked witch hanging over.

I just wish certain people gave me personally a reason to not like them.

when no one's given me a direct reason, it makes it so much easier for me to be

me. I have a direct reason. He's a direct reason.

Unfortunately, at some point, Sheena is going to have to acknowledge the fact

that Kristen has been a horrible person to me, who is supposed to be her best

friend. Can't we all just get along?

Ew. Get out of here.

How's it going?

God, what are you doing here?

Hi, lovely to see you too.

Listen, really quick, let me explain.

James told me something that I didn't want to hear.

I'm heated about my situation with Carmen. I got mad.

You

shouldn't

have came over here to start a fight.

I have a very different approach to life these days. Getting fired, it was kind

of a relief.

I've had enough of your bulls**t. You're fired from Sir Restaurant and it's

done. I've really been focusing on my t -shirt line and one of the major things

that I've worked on in therapy is to not act like a psycho.

I've learned that I don't always have to react.

Here we go. Hi.

So this is what's going on. So you're the one who is kind of starting.

No, I really don't. Hey, please.

How are you coming here doing this when I've got to start DJing right now?

Because you just started a lot of DJing. You're swaddling around.

Are you drunk? Are you drunk?

I've got to get my DJ equipment.

I'm just getting a little panicky right now. Lisa cannot find out that Kristen

is in the back of the server causing problems.

Stop running your mouth about things that are not relevant.

Oh, my God, you guys.

I would rather lose my relationship with Kristen than ruin my DJ career.

Girls come and go, but dreams are with you forever.

All this dilly -dallying bullcrap, I've got a job to do, okay? And I'm not

f***ing prepared to lose it over my f***ing girlfriend's bulls***. All

Kristen? Stop coming here to my place of work and f***ing shut up for me.

Goodbye.

Sit there with your little crazy smirk.

Sit there.

I've got a f***ing job to do.

Thank you. Take care.

My mother's turning 60. She lives in Florida, and she's never really been to

.A., and she's always wanted to meet my friends.

Let me give you the little tour.

Oh, it's very cool.

Of course, it would be amazing to show my mom around my Beverly Hills mansion.

It's like my closet.

But, you know, even if I had all that, I wouldn't live like that. It's just not

me. Do you want a glass of wine?

Did you take this or was this a gift? We may or may not know that I have this

bottle. Old habit.

Don't I?

That's another thing. I told some of my friends. The only person who calls me

Jason is my mom, my dad, and my sister.

I know you hate the name Jax, and I told my friends, don't call me Jax in front

of my mother. She does not like that. Well, they can call you. I just won't

work. I know. I can't get used to it.

My stage name slash modeling name has been Jax Taylor.

For her to call me Jax would be just weird.

So you're here. This is a big birthday weekend, a big six -year -old.

I mean, I know. So we have a really busy schedule. So we are going to go to

Villa Blanca.

We're going to have lunch with Sheena's mom, Erica.

She's turning 50 on the day that you're turning 60, and Sheena's turning 30. All

on the same day. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that is.

Then after that, we have the party.

Oh, great.

So how are you doing? Everything's doing okay?

I'm great. As far as, you know, work and as far as, you know, girls.

Just take a break. That's what I do. Take a break. I think I just need to

break. Stop.

I know.

Stop, okay?

I can't wait to meet the young woman that actually you fall in love with her.

And it's going to happen if you just stop for a while and let it happen.

You need to understand who you are and why you're like that. And I hate to say

it. It's so true.

It's so true.

Is that seaside sign? Is that from my house? No.

There is some things in this house.

That may be yours that I took.

All this silverware is from Sir.

I take it they're not gifts from Lisa. Well, they were gifts.

She just doesn't know that I have the gifts.

Coming up.

Sounds cheesy, but I'm ready. Really? I actually want to propose.

This is how it always goes with James.

Jekyll and f***ing Hyde. I never know if he's going to be super sweet or a total

psycho. Why is it your business to tell Carmen's business?

Jack isn't your friend. So if you're going to arrive at some point... Yeah, I

know, but he's not my friend.

It honestly just drives her crazy that I'm hanging around all her old friends.

think she's got, you know, a little bit of a case of FOMO, this fear of missing

out. Last year at Sheena's birthday party, I went into thinking I was going

DJ, it was going to be a great night, and next thing you know, me and Tom were

ripping each other's faces off.

Whoa, whoa,

whoa! Whoever started this, get the f*** down!

That wasn't my fault.

That, reflecting onto this year, is the complete opposite of what I want to

happen. I want to go there and have a great night with everybody and have fun

with everyone.

Awesome. If we're not going to fight and everything's going to be fine.

Can I not say that? Can I not say that? No, because that's what you do. You

project negative energy.

If you don't want me to come to Sheena's birthday with you, then I'm not going

to come to Sheena's birthday with you. It's that simple.

Kristen, I don't not want that, but I also don't want to show up with you and

have it go to shit again.

I want to be with you. I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't think about

dating. I love you. But then I'm like, is this healthy for me?

I just feel like I kind of need to figure it out day by day.

Let's have a good night then.

Okay?

Okay. It's very pretty.

Okay, just one hug then.

Come here.

It's like food.

Do I?

We're not doing enough for you.

We're not doing enough to make you think nothing's better.

Look at Philip Blanca. Oh, you're finally here.

Finally. Nice to meet you.

Oh, you too.

How are you? And thanks for taking care of the big boy.

You two, congratulations for your wedding. Happy birthday. I can't offer

information about Jack's life in L .A. to his mom because who knows how many

lies he's told his mom. I'm like, does she really know where you live?

I'm really nervous.

I'll tell you stories that you don't know about. Oh, my gosh.

I'm sweating bullets.

I'm not going to lie right now.

This is my mother, finally.

This is the woman. Finally, this is the woman. We have much to talk about.

I'm going to take a seat.

Hello. How are you? Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi. I don't do fake kisses. I do full -on hugs. Oh, my God.

Oh, I'm going to have some fun.

What was he like as a child? Was he as bad as he is now?

Yes.

Okay,

so I have to ask, how many of the girlfriends have you met?

There's Carter, there's Kentucky.

She's visiting on Sunday.

I'm currently talking to a girl named Brittany. She's from a small town in

Kentucky.

Kentucky. She's not moving in, right? She's not moving in, I promise. I'm not

giving her any money. No, you just give them spare keys.

Oh.

I'm not getting any younger. I would like to settle down at some point, but,

know, I still have that wandering eye, and I still always think there's always

something better out there, so.

We'll see. She did not like Stassi. I loved Stassi in the beginning. As time

went on, I just saw the personality change. Not that this is an angel by any

means. No. Oh, wow. Way to go, mommy.

He's like the puppy that pees on the carpet that you can't get mad at. You

can't. So he's always been that way, though. Always. Always.

Always, always, always.

When my daughter was 10, her aunt got her a beautiful, beautiful cross.

Jay's now a little girlfriend, and it was her birthday. So he stole his

cross. Oh, really?

You know he still does that?

No, I don't. Yeah, he took Carmen's glasses from his apartment, wrapped

and gave them to Katie for her birthday a few months ago. I think Carmen thought

about it. All these years later.

I used to forge my mom's signature on all my tests.

And I used to fake and copy my report cards and change the grades.

But I did feel bad.

Sorry, Mom.

What's the naughtiest thing you ever did?

Remember when you came in with the bus driver and she was crying?

Beautiful blonde woman. Here's my 12 -year -old's first experience with

on an older woman.

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

She comes knocking at the door. She goes, I came down on the bus. I'm

there. And your son takes her in a dip and lays one right on her ribs.

I love your mother. You know what?

I imagine Jack's mother to be devoid of any feelings.

Kind of brought him up, really, to not give a damn about anybody or anything.

And there's this woman who's just so funny, and she's so sweet, but she's

totally got Jackson's number.

The only good policies you have, I think you clearly get from your mother.

He's nice to 85 % of the customers.

85 % of the customers. And dating the other 20.

Don't you love us getting together?

Oh, wait, is this it?

Hello. How are you? How are you guys doing?

Good. Good.

A little nervous.

Yeah? A little nervous. Are you the one getting the perm today? Yeah.

There's a decade party tonight.

All right. I'm going to 70s. You're really going to do this? I put a lot of

thought into this, and yeah, I'm getting a perm.

A perm is a commitment, hence the name perm.

proud of him. I just think that he might be committing to the wrong thing. The

way I look at it, it's like a symbolic gesture.

You don't want to be the guy who has a perm and doesn't have it together,

I've unofficially declared this the year of Tom, and I decided I'm going to

undergo a metamorphosis.

I exercised all of my inner juice last year.

I'm just kind of a schmuck of a boyfriend.

I cheated on Katie.

I actually did make out with that girl.

I gave her a ring on a string.

Putting a ring on a string is not really what a girl person's already wants to

hear. This is my year of redemption.

If I can set my hair straight, maybe I can set my life straight.

Even though the hair is curly.

You get what I'm trying to say, right?

The good news is, is that for the first time, I'm cheesy, but I'm ready.

Really?

Yeah. Like, I actually want to propose, yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

I've never heard Schwartz actually say this out loud.

Has a guy ever come in here and got a perm before me?

Not since I've been here.

Nice. I'm like a perm pioneer.

All right, perfect. Well, come on over.

It looks good.

Yeah? Yeah.

Of course, it's not styled fully yet. Okay, all right. Okay, yeah.

Looking good, dude.

It's not as permy as I want it to be, but I think this is better. I think it's

more realistic.

It's actually perfect.

Dude, it looks good.

And it's got zest. It's got zest.

You're never going to work again in this town, but it looks good.

Coming up.

Tom and Tom look like two undercover, slightly rapey -looking cops from the

And then we've got Ariana, who looks like she should be at the factory with

Warhol. I modeled my costume after Cher of Cluid.

We're definitely the most awesome foursome in the history of time.

When I get a costume, it's a head -to -toe transformation.

I give myself a name.

a backstory, and Chip Harley is damn near invincible.

What's up, guys?

Oh, I'm good. I don't know about her.

I am dressed as Danny Zuko. This is my mom, Audrey Hepburn, tonight. Breakfast

at Tiffany's.

Carmen said she didn't want to come to the party, so I just went one name down

on my contact list.

Carter invited her.

Oh, my God, Peter!

Hey -o!

Jack, by the way.

I think we all have an inner hair metal glam rocker inside of us, and I'm

letting it out

I was obsessed with Madonna, so I know I'm married, but I can still be like a

virgin.

This is awesome.

All of my friends totally nailed their looks. Everyone looks really hot.

Sheena's definitely not stressed about turning 30 because she knows that 30 is

sexy. And what does she care anyway? She's already married.

I mean...

Here goes

nothing.

Clearly I was not technically invited.

But I know that Sheena really deep down wants me at her birthday party.

Oh, Kristen must have misheard. She thought it was a cleavage party, not a

costume party.

I

didn't

want to do a decades costume. I mean, I lived the 70s.

I can't remember the ages, so I think I'll just go and leave the band apart.

Oh, my God.

Good afternoon, Jenny.

Are you going to have a drink? The question is, are you going to have a

I've had two already.

I've dressed up as a 60s, modern -day Woodstock rock star. I styled it myself,

cut it myself.

Yet again, I'm the guy with the best hair at the party.

Sorry, Tom.

I'm not surprised to see Sheena dressed as Madonna.

Sheena and Shay wouldn't go as Sonia and Cher or John and Yoko because Sheena is

always the star in that relationship.

And Shay very much is kind of laid back in the background.

Where is my husband? Can someone find him for me, please?

Yeah, sure.

Whatever.

If there's one thing I hate, it's someone telling me that I'm doing

when I haven't even done it yet.

You already think I'm drunk?

I'm going to go get f***ed.

You're not going to tell me s*** when I'm DJing, okay?

James is on his way to being a drunken ass.

Kristen, where are you, darling?

Coming up. I may or may not have a fake friend.

Kristen, get out of here.

What the?

I mean, good life.

What's up, guys?

Hi, Gary.

How's it going tonight?

You? I got a phone to be with you.

I know, I know. Don't ever disrespect my wife.

All right.

Ever. Okay?

Okay. Otherwise, you might regret it.

Me and Lisa already talked about this.

And now she's decided to stick her husband on me?

Some of that British gangster really comes through.

I apologize.

It's my respect.

You can never do that to her.

The best thing to do is just sort of ride it out, and eventually they'll move

to somebody else.

Anyway, we'll talk later. Don't have a good time.

All right. You guys too. So long.

I've already had a wedding.

I'm now turning 30.

This is like my last opportunity to really be the center of attention for a

while.

I don't

even work for Lisa anymore, and she'll still find something to reprimand

me about.

I'm asking for the impossible.

I'm asking for taking responsibility, but it's Kristen I'm asking, so clearly

it's never going to happen.

I think that's really judgmental and really unfair.

I love being a punk, but if it's going to be an issue... I could spend $15 on a

glass of wine in many other bars in L .A. Well, maybe that's a good idea,

because he's in danger of losing his job. But that's his temper problem, not

mine.

She lost her own job. She had an excellent job at that, but now she wants

lose James' job as well. I mean, are there no bounds to her stupidity?

The best scenario for me right now is for you not to be around him when he's

working, okay?

Good to see you, lovely.

Thank you.

Are

you

having a good time?

I am.

Thank you.

I mean, honestly,

you're like the hit of the party.

Aw.

You're having a great time.

Jason,

I'm happy.

I, I, I, this has been. This is fun, right?

It has been unreal.

You have such nice people in your life. I mean, my friends are great, right?

Tom, Tom are like my brothers. They're my blood. And when I do get married, if

that day ever comes.

Those two are like my blood, and I would do anything in the world for them.

Are you feeling all right, though? Yeah, yeah. I mean, the medication is

helping.

Hey, will you leave the wig on for later?

I've seen Kristen several times over the past few months, and

she's definitely more pleasant.

to be around.

I know I didn't, like, specifically invite you, I know James invited you,

that's clearly why I'm not.

I still have a f***ing soft spot for Kristen.

Samuel?

Oh, look at this view.

Oh my god, sexy. Look at the sunset strip.

I've never been up here. Our apartment's right over there.

You're so committed.

I just

wish

certain people gave me personally a reason to not like them.

Because when no one's given me a direct reason, it makes it so much easier for

me to be me. I have a direct reason. But he's a direct reason.

After what transpired a year ago and the concerted effort that was made.

Kristen wanted me to get hit by planes and trains.

She wanted me to die.

I do wish she would get hit by a Mack truck or something.

And it absolutely should not be okay with my best friend, Sheena.

I have a really amazing life, and I don't have room in my life for bullshit.

And if I stand alone in that, I stand alone.

I can tell you that whatever you do,

I'm with you 100%. You are my fucking world.

You know, when, like, shit gets weird, I'll just look at you, you can look at

me, and we can just take a vacation.

Only you.

Coming up. Oh my god, James!

Holy... That

was

a beautiful f***ing time tonight.

I had a blast.

It was great.

That was a waterfall.

No, no, no, damn!

Watching James with his bottle of fireball is like watching the money shot

porno. I mean, it's just like, tongue out, eyes closed, splashing all over his

face. Holy... Oh, hey, I'm from the 60s! Oh, my God.

From the 60s!

James clearly has had...

I didn't even know he had that much to drink, but he's like, he's over the

I'm sorry.

He's definitely having fun.

That was so crazy, guys.

I don't feel like I can calm him down. I feel like if I say something to him,

he's going to bark at me.

Kristen, come sit with me.

Embarrassing. I'm over this.

I think you should just kind of chill a little bit. None of us need to get too

turnt right now, you know?

Kristen, I'm just thinking about Kristen.

Kristen definitely drives me to drink.

She just makes me feel, like, unwanted, insecure.

My next plan is to have the time of my night.

Jamesy, baby! No more James!

You are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on.

James is right up in Jenna's face, whispering God knows what.

Yeah, it bothers me.

I love you guys. It's a weird...

Stop the love that I still have for you.

And if we make music together, okay, it's gonna seriously cause a bridge.

He doesn't deserve it.

DJ Lightweight over here has been hammered. I don't think this is gonna

well. The last thing Chip Harley's ever gonna let happen is a party. Why now?

Next time on

Vanderpump

Rules. had an Uber from his house to Jenna's house. That is what we're

the smoking gun Uber.

We were just hanging out.

Liar. You don't want to see the Uber receipt from your email? No.

Kristen called me a rude bitch. I would never be friends with a person like

that. Ariana's clearly saying, I don't want you hanging out with Kristen. It's

so hard to be friends with you. You're the ones putting you in this position,

not me. I just can't be your friend. To see more of Vanderpump Rules, go to

bravotv .com.