Original subtitles

Previously on Vanderpump Rules... So, the wedding, what are you nervous about?

Kristen? I've had enough of your bullshit. As far as I'm concerned,

here socially, and you're fired from Sir Reston, and it's done.

Lisa and Sir can suck it.

Kristen attacked me.

You're right. It's not normal.

I need Kristen to stop upsetting over Tom. Kristen just needs to cut the shit.

The man you marry puts you first.

And I wouldn't have it any other way if I were you.

Sometimes we know what to do. We just don't want to do it.

I want you to be like, hey, I want to go to this wedding, but it's Jackson to be

there. I didn't want that. Speaking of you not having a date, don't give me an

answer right now. Maybe just let it ponder. I just thought about it, and

a no.

Yay!

My wedding's finally here. I have everything planned perfectly down to the

minute.

Wait, wait.

No, no, have her stop and start over. Thanks, wedding coordinator, for f***ing

up your only job.

What's your story?

And only you, as long as I shall live.

I now declare you to be husband and wife.

I've had this whole vision my whole life of how I would want my wedding to be.

I am on cloud 10 because it's better than cloud 9.

Woo!

I know. Okay.

We ready? Everyone ready? Let's get this shot.

It's amazing. I'm somebody's wife.

I have a husband.

I have a husband.

None of my other friends have a husband.

This is awesome.

They're so cute. I can't. Like, I cannot even.

I'm so, so happy for Sheena and Shay.

She's faithful to him, and he kisses her ass, and it's like a perfect match.

They're a solid team.

So I'm, like, back there, and I hear Sheena singing my song. So I'm like, oh,

God, oh, my God. She's still singing. I wasn't even ready.

Anyway, well done.

Amazing. Congratulations.

You're happy. I really think you're perfect for each other. I really do.

And he does worship you, okay?

Whoops.

I'm going to take two.

That's what I did.

That looks lovely, the colour.

Yeah, really hot.

Good. What a pretty ceremony.

Lovely, wasn't it?

Did you help?

No, but I'll tell you what's quite funny.

The settlement paid for the wedding.

No. Listen, I would do a nose drive on the pavement for a wedding like this.

You're going to farm somewhere soon, you know. Buy you a new house.

But yeah, all in all, it was beautiful. It was amazing. You might be next, my

friend.

Sorry. You know, it's frustrating because I give Kristen so much love and

she's just...

Kind of not ignoring that, but not taking it the same way I'm giving it to

just kills me sometimes.

Kristen texted me.

She's like, I've been thinking about you since we talked.

Dude, this is inappropriate, Shane.

It is inappropriate.

I know how much she loves me. I know how much she cares about me. But it would

be nice if Kristen just cut it off with Tom Cold Turkey and just focused on me.

Trevor, there he is.

The bearded man.

You have a beautiful beard. Thank you, man. Keep my girl's ass tight.

We'll get her a nice little limber for you, too.

Okay, well, anyways.

Look into each other's eyes.

Beautiful. Hold that.

Smile.

Hi, Lisa. How are you? Hello, Kristen.

How are you? I'm well, thank you.

Lovely to see you here.

So what are you doing now?

Living life at the right time.

I should have quit Sir a long time ago.

Yes, Kristen, you're right.

Finally, we agree on something.

I'm sorry that it came down to you firing me, but you've never liked me.

never liked her attitude.

You've never liked me.

And that's what it's about.

You have a habit of orchestrating things. The same way the orchestration

manipulated this young girl coming from Miami.

Not Paul Island.

We had sex.

No, we did not.

Yes, we did.

You could have told me she was coming in. I did not! Like, you need to leave

right now. Suck this away. Suck it in.

Suck it in.

But our personal relationship is really none of your business. You don't know me

as a person. You still brought her in for sir.

Yeah, she's damn right it's personal. It's my personal feelings of supporting

her for the last seven years that have saved her ass.

I just don't like your behavior.

It's going to be a lovely evening.

It will be.

Don't let anything spoil it.

I know there are a lot of people here speculating that I'm going to be the one

to cause all the trouble, but I'm going to fly under the radar and let someone

else be the ask.

Thank you very much.

Why did you always have to sign off with a hug?

It's like, just hug off.

Tequila. I'm going to do a spicy margarita and a shot to celebrate

I would do a strawberry margarita and a shot.

I can't believe that there's actually a wedding ring on right now. It looks so

weird. She's getting married.

You need to look to see if somebody posted something.

Yeah.

So that's the crop top, curled crop top, two -piece wedding dress.

That is the ugliest effing wedding dress I've ever seen in my entire life.

It's like a stanky girl's quinceanera.

Sometimes life gives you a really good gift, like knowing that Sheena is

a crop top to her wedding. It puts a giant smile on my face.

She has so much makeup on.

I know. You would think, like, come on, it's your wedding day. Like, try not to

look like a hooker today.

Did she find anything of Lisa?

Yeah. Lisa is wearing a bondage gown.

It's like what I wear when I'm like, Patrick, tonight I want to get it on.

Lisa. And she looks hotter than me.

So it's annoying.

The downside of how I'm not being fake with Sheena anymore is that I'm missing

out on a really good open bar.

The upside is that I still have my dignity and pride.

And then Ken, Lisa, and Jiggy are walking down. Jiggy and Ken are in the

outfit.

I can't imagine.

Jiggy's in a tux. Jiggy's in a tux. Oh, my God.

And Ken and Jiggy are matching.

Purple.

Knew it. I knew it.

This is really in honor of the crop top.

Are we cheersing to the crop top?

Gina's wedding is absolutely beautiful, and of course I can't help but think

about my own. I hope I can make it as awesome as she's made her own.

When

I

saw Shay up in the altar, I thought I would be like, dude, what are you doing,

man? You're too young to get married. But instead, I found myself thinking, I

can picture myself up there.

Quick question. When your wedding party comes out... Well, when they come out,

they need to stay on the stairs.

Okay, they're going to stay on the stairs. Got it. Until we come out.

Okay. And then after we do our little dance, it's like, woo! Then they all go

their seats, and then we walk down and go to our first dance. Got it. No

problem.

All right, tell him to switch the music, and we're going to do the entrances.

I can't breathe.

I love you.

Very, very much.

Here's the deal with me and Carmen.

I'm not pursuing her, but I'm not not not pursuing her.

I mean, my goal isn't to end my first wedding with a bang, but hey, why not?

Oh,

hey.

How you doing?

Yeah, how are you? I'm good.

Oh, yeah, I am. I wrote on her Instagram last week, like, gave her a big kiss

when I saw her.

I'll be right back.

Bye. I will.

You're not that bad, are you?

I didn't do anything.

I didn't do anything.

I didn't do the seating chart. I didn't say, hey, I want Vale to sit here.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

What do you want me to do? She looked at me.

Come on, let's get it in.

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready?

We are about to introduce the wedding party this evening.

supposed to play this song when they come out jenna and ryan i know he

just i know we have to come out to that exact part or it defeats the whole

purpose we have some moves choreographed that you have to hit at the exact point

so i've given my wedding coordinator very specific instructions when the song

starts 24 seconds after we come out do our dance boom not that hard

This is pointless.

I've been so chill this entire planning process.

But you know what? Now the bitch is starting to come out because you're

up on your job.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Good as gold. Here it comes.

What do you want, Sheena? I need to do it now. For him to not announce me right

now. The moment you've all been waiting for.

No. No.

I don't want him to announce me right now.

This ruins. This is not the part I wanted to come out to.

Coming up.

I'll show you how much I love you and everything. I just got you a little

something.

This is not the part I wanted to talk about.

The whole reception.

Where is Gina? I mean, come on. We've been waiting. Bring it on.

Hello.

You want him to go back and start the song over? Tell me what you want. I

tell him.

Simple.

You hit play after the last bridesmaid and groomsman come out. Then I come out

to my song.

It's not in rocket science.

Do you want him to start the song over?

Yes. Start the song completely over and then... And then we'll walk... Yeah.

There you go. It's like 25 seconds and he says...

Introducing to you for the very first time, Mr.

and Mrs. James.

Smile, baby.

Despite the now second music hiccup of the night, looking at all of

our friends and family. Are you guys ready?

The flowers, the lights, everything I've ever wanted and so much more.

One more time for Mr. and Mrs. James.

I love you so much. I love you.

She did not miss a beat. Her dress and the bridesmaid's dresses. This is the

nicest wedding I've ever been to.

But it's also the first wedding I've ever been to.

Is that the rule?

If I can get the newlyweds to the middle of the dance floor.

Oh, that's exciting.

We can get the first dance going.

First dance as a married couple.

Oh, this is so hard.

No, it's real.

Oh, I thought it worked.

Then you take Jiggy.

It's dance time.

You do not know how to dance like that. Yes, I do.

I'm really good. We're going to slow dance, aren't we?

Are we?

Yeah. Who else like it?

I'm sure she'll dance with you.

Ooh, I probably should not have said that.

I did leave some room in the back of my dress so, you know, I could work a

little and dance because that's what I do.

I thought maybe the first dance would be at last or maybe on Rose.

But this is good, too.

The buffet line!

One really great thing about being part of the wedding party is that I am far

away from the crazy table where James and Kristen are sitting.

Yes!

I'm turning up. I'm with my best mate at his wedding.

Quite frankly, I'm already butthurt about Kristen.

Her, Tom, my point of mind is just get drunk, party.

All the couples going for a dance, take Kristen

to Jack's.

When James drinks, he skips past that whole happy drunk thing right to

belligerent, stubborn.

Not a good look.

I just want to take this time to thank everyone for coming.

One favor I would ask of all of you is please, this should be common sense, but

I know people get drunk, they get excited, and just please, no drinks on

dance floor.

I don't want anyone slipping, falling, and knocking out their teeth at my

wedding, especially me.

I have had an experience with wet floors before. I don't want to fall tonight,

so if everyone could just please respect that. No drinks on the dance floor. All

right.

You're very handsome.

You're gorgeous.

The flirting with Peter will not come to an end. There will be no coming to an

end. It will just stay flirting.

No coming.

Hey,

where'd you go? Get in line, get some enchiladas.

I would have been nice if Kristen told me she's being difficult.

But you've only heard her side, so you probably think I'm being difficult. I

haven't heard anything. I'm not getting involved.

I'm pulling out all the tricks.

James, drink water because it's really hot in the desert and you should double

fist and always drink water with your alcohol.

Hydrate while you dehydrate.

Nothing's working.

I'll keep an eye on it.

My wedding visions, I don't obsess over it. I mean, I definitely have had my

time on Pinterest.

Sometimes I'm like, I want to get married in the summer. And then

like, I want to get married in the fall. And I want to get married like on the

beach. And then I want to go on like a really cool boat and have like...

cocktails and hors d 'oeuvres, and then I want to have a yacht rock band.

All right, baby.

It's fun to think about that, but I don't obsess over it.

I really don't think so, no.

Katie deserves so much better than what I've given her lately.

Oh, I like this gazebo, though. It'll be right here. See, this is what I'm

talking about.

Seeing how gorgeous the wedding is and how beautiful Katie looks, all I want to

do is just... hug her, squeeze her, and make everything okay.

Lovey, you look smokin'. Thanks. You look smokin', huh?

Yes.

Lovey, I just, I wanted to say that not for me it's such a decent thing lately.

You're a nice guy lately.

I know.

I'm sorry.

To show you how much I love you and everything, I just got you a little

something.

It's just a little something to remind you how much I love you and let you know

that I am committed.

Just a little.

Coming up. Want to get out of here?

Yep. Kristen, where are you guys going?

I wanted to say that I haven't been able to do something lately.

You haven't been back lately.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I'll show you how much I love you and everything. I just got you a little

something.

Just like a little... I have a little empty box. Wait, no.

I do.

This is a bubble of love. It's rose gold.

I know it's not the engagement ring that you deserve.

I know you want the real deal, but in the meantime, as much as you know that I

am serious, I do love you.

I mean,

put it on you.

It's a little something.

You hate it?

Putting a ring on a string and putting it around the next thing I look. It's

a string, it's a gold necklace.

Not really what a girl pushing 30 wants to hear.

And their boyfriend is four years. I know, I know.

If Tom thinks that it's appropriate to be giving me this ring on a string.

that's making me realize that there are issues that I don't even know were there

that we now have to deal with.

I think

I've

shown poor judgment.

She's legitimately concerned about my commitment issues, and you know what?

She has a point.

anyone in my life a guy in my life before and i think he's like he told me

you don't want to ring unless it's like the ring um

i have commitment issues

yeah

I feel like I'm in a fairy tale looking at Ariana.

Being dressed to the nines like this with her, it's just, that's who I'm

That's who I'm with.

You're not going, are you?

You're going? Soon, in about ten minutes.

All I want to do is have a dance. That's all I want to do is dance. I'm at a

wedding. I've never danced at a wedding. That's all I want to do.

It's a wedding. You said you were staying the night. You said that the

time. No, I didn't.

But I did rent a beautiful cottage up there.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to spend the night.

You're not spending the night either?

No. I never said I was.

Oh, okay.

I didn't know.

I thought weddings were to have fun. I thought love was in the air.

So we can get drunk and have a good time.

Whatever.

Make me a strawberry margarita.

Okay, I'm going to make you a strawberry raspberry white nectarine margarita.

What? You're going to be such a good mom. Look at you. Yeah, I wish Patrick

would see that too.

I'll make an awesome mom.

Come on, kids.

Margarita time.

I mean, I'll serve them virgin margaritas.

Why aren't we married yet?

Well, who are your bridesmaids going to be? I don't know anymore.

Well, it was going to be Katie.

You.

Now it's... You, Jen, my mom.

I thought that Katie was going to be even maybe maid of honor in my wedding

be like a godparent to my children.

Like, I thought that we would be friends forever.

So it's really weird.

Katie sent me a nighttime photo.

It actually looks really pretty with the light.

Oh, that's beautiful. The venue is really pretty.

That actually looks beautiful.

So beautiful.

Like, the type of wedding I would have. I just don't understand how somebody who

wore a crop -top wedding dress was able to pull this off.

Do you regret anything? Do you feel like you'd have anything be done differently

to be with them? Absolutely not. I'm happy to be here with you.

Cheers to love and not being in a wedding right now.

Our weddings would be so much better.

Beautiful night.

Thank you.

Katie?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm just taking a breather. What's up? Just for life in this moment.

Life? It's a happy night tonight.

I know. Oh, my God, my feet. I could cry.

What are you upset about? Why are you on your own?

What's the party?

Boys stuff.

Well, I mean, Tom and I, we were sitting in the gazebo, just kind of talking

about the wedding, and he pulls out this, like,

thing with a ring on it.

That's a good thing, isn't it? It's not a bad thing.

It's not.

And it's like, I think it's a prick, but it's just like, it's like one of those

things I always told him, I was just like, don't ever ever give me a ring on

string. Oh, God, you're making me cry. Stop it. And I really don't want to cry

now. I don't want to make you cry.

Huh? No, no.

I hope at some point Katie will get the result that she deserves, but I don't

know. How long can she wait? And it begs the question, is he worth waiting for?

I just love him so much.

I've never felt more of myself on anyone besides him.

So you either carry on waiting, or you turn around and you say, this is what I

want, and if you're not prepared to give it to me, then I've got to move on.

Yeah.

Thanks. That'll be the second birth. I'm not... I think you are.

This will be a beautiful birth little gift after a year, six months. This will

be a beautiful gift right now. If you didn't want to get married, this would

perfect, but he knows what you want.

My patience with Tom is nonexistent, and I don't know how much longer I can wait

around for him.

I realize I need to stick up for myself and what I really want.

He's bothering you.

This is what you wanted tonight, right? Because you can't get over Tom?

Or what is that?

Alcohol is a magnifier for all of James' personality traits.

Stubbornness, insecurity, jealousy.

You want to keep walking around in circles?

No,

no, you should calm down. You should get your life in check. Would you still

take all the girls that Tom got with?

Bye, bye.

Bye.

Idiot. Where are the...

Thank you.

I mean, everyone's leaving.

It's like all the songs I wanted to dance to were already played. It's just

what I wanted.

Thank you.

Everything that was supposed to happen early in the reception has not happened.

Dollar dance didn't happen.

I didn't get the cake. I haven't tossed my bouquet.

I haven't done the garter.

I want to do everything right now.

Right now.

My wedding planner, who I'm paying thousands of dollars to, is nowhere to

found. MIA.

Pissed off bride.

What happened? Why didn't we do the dollar dance? Where is my purse?

No one's going to want to do a dollar dance now. They're all dancing to upbeat

music. We didn't do that. When are we doing the bouquet? When are we doing the

garter? When am I cutting the cake? Half of my guests have left.

I understand your frustration, and I totally share your frustration.

Why don't you just grab the microphone and just say something? Like, I would

like to toss my bouquet.

I would like to do my garter right now, please.

Right now.

If it's not done in five minutes, I'm going to grab the microphone and do it

myself.

I would love to kiss my husband right now. All right, let me go hug you. Can

get out of here?

Yes. She's just angry at you.

It's so bad.

But mate.

It didn't start like that. It started... She's right there, dude. Make it up

with her.

Go over there.

I know it's not your fault, but you apologize to her.

If you really love her, just apologize to her. It doesn't matter.

Kristen, where are you guys going?

Coming up.

Everybody f***ing talks s*** on you, and it's f***ing true. Because look how

you're treating the one person you love. I am done. Look what you did. Look what

you did.

Can't catch a break at this wedding No,

I just like I don't like my game is so being

off garbage is just coming out of my mouth

Kristen, how do you f***ing do this to me? How do you f***ing do this to me?

You treat me with zero respect whatsoever.

Always. You treat me like a f***ing boy toy.

You want to touch me? Touch me.

Get out of my face.

What?

Yes, I was being an arsehole. But if there's one thing an arsehole doesn't

to see, it's his girlfriend walking alone with some guy with a dumb face and

stupid beard.

You want to get Muay Thai on me right now? Excuse yourself. You want to get

Thai? Excuse yourself. You, Kristen.

Everybody fucking talks shit on you, and it's fucking true. Because look how

you're treating the one person you love. Don't show your pussy dick.

I'm done. Look what you did. Look what you did.

Fine. We walked.

Carry on. I want to hear my girlfriend talk shit about me. Keep going. You and

I, we are done.

We're done then, Kristen.

Because you're a fucking bitch. You're f***ing unmanageable. You're f***ing

unmanageable, babe. You're unmanageable. That's why you're 31. You're never

going to f***ing find a guy to marry you.

Get away from me now. Why?

You went off to a car with Trevor. James, get the f*** out of my face. No.

I will call the police on you. Stop it. I'm f***ing going to hit it.

You're flying fly. F*** everybody else up. Go.

I was trying so hard tonight

radar and James would not let it drop.

I wish for you to tell me to hide that, but I'm afraid to talk to you. All

right, I'll let you look.

It's going to be a free ride. Well, I usually like it when they're taken or

they're married. That just makes it more interesting. Oh, really?

I like it when it's not.

With Lisa being my boss and she's married, that's just like a hot cocktail

the most unavailability you can possibly get.

I'm trying to steal the deal right now.

Steal the deal with you.

Jax has a better chance of becoming a Rhodes Scholar than he does of making it

with me. I hope he realises it.

He's out taking the dog for a walk. You've got about ten minutes.

That's all I need.

I never even eat my

food.

Dude, I'm so annoyed right now.

What's going on now?

It was just like we had a timeline.

But no one else knows that. I want to do it.

All of these wedding things that are not happening right now.

We're going to do it.

We're going to do it.

You are perfect.

And you and Shay are perfect. And the whole day.

I feel really bad for Sheena. I know she had very high expectations.

But to everyone else, this has been an amazing night.

We're going to cheer to amazing Sheena Shea.

As stressed out as I've been, the reception is beautiful.

My friends and family are here. The music is amazing.

I'm just going to let loose and have the most fun time of my entire life

tonight. All the things that went wrong, it doesn't even matter.

I do think that Vale is more flirty when she's not on a date as opposed to when

she is on a date.

That's fine.

I can ruin her in it.

I love you.

I'm so happy to be here.

I think after the initial disappointment of...

The ring on the string. I think she started to warm up to the gesture.

We ended up salvaging a pretty awesome night.

Man,

better you than me, pal.

Don't make excuses for her, dude. Because I love her. I know you do.

While James is making excuses as to why his girlfriend punched him in the face,

I'm thinking to myself, wow, that's something me and Ariana will never have

deal with.

We're going back to the bungalow. You're more than welcome to come.

Yeah, you can come hang out, man.

How much happier are you with your life right now? You can tell how happy he is.

I know.

Let me tell you something.

When I want to go on vacation, I just look in Ariana's eyes.

I'm dead serious.

Ariana, with you, I don't have to question anything, man.

Marriage has never really been my thing. I didn't see it as part of my life

plan. However, he's the closest I've ever been to thinking about marriage.

All right, guys.

Congratulations.

Thank you so much. You look after her.

I want to check back in in 32 years when you've been doing it like us. Okay,

deal. I'll be dead by then. Bye, guys.

Thank you for everything.

Bye -bye.

All right. Gina did it. She actually pulled off a princess wedding on a

waitress' salary.

Everything was beautiful, and she deserves that. She really does, and I

them every happiness together.

Please don't drink and drive. If you've been drinking tonight, call the Uber.

Oh, God.

Hey. Hey.

Hey.

I decided about a month ago that I was going to let go of all that was

dragging me down and let go of the grudges and just be friendly with

It's really sad that if Stassi had her way, that I would not be a part of this

wonderful night with these people.

Wait, where's Kristen?

She punched me in the face and dumped me.

What? I don't want to talk about it with you tonight. This is your fucking

night. We'll have lunch tomorrow. She punched you in the face at my wedding?

I see Kristen and Trevor getting in their car, getting in his car.

Shut up, shut up.

That breaks my heart. I totally deserved the punch.

I don't really know what I was trying to prove. Maybe I was trying to prove that

I wanted Kristen to care just as much as I care, you know? It could sound crazy,

but that's what happens when you love someone, you know?

I'm not

even worrying about Kristen tonight.

This is what I've been looking forward to all night.

Having fun. Can't take away my happy.

Hey, husband.

Is anyone else a husband in this room? I don't think so.

Coming up. God forbid Kristen just, like, has fun and lets things run

Most brides wake up happy with this afterglow.

I'm waking up with a cleaning order because if this place isn't spotless by

noon, I will get billed up the ass.

Hi. Hey.

Hi.

You guys the cleaning crew?

Yeah. We're here to clean.

Like, I should have woken up this morning, like, so happy.

James and Kristen think it's a good idea to throw punches at my wedding. God

forbid she just, like, has fun and lets things run smoothly.

No way. And I remember it's Kristen. Kristen is officially never invited to

anything I do ever again.

Mark my words.

Will you guys just do me one last favor? I mean, I would totally appreciate

cleaning up in here.

But I think the fountain out there is still filled with flowers.

I've tried to save money wherever I can. The least my friends can do is get

their asses up and help me clean up.

I can't even wake up, Shay. Like, I tried.

This morning, I'm like, babe, babe, wait, Tom.

I don't know if you should stay in there. He was drunk. Yeah, Tom, I don't

about that. He's like, I've been around here two drinks all night. I'm like,

it's OK. Shut your little pretty mouth.

Do you have to get all the flowers out of here? Yeah.

and felt like it cost a million bucks.

I mean, you would think that Sheena would have put a cleaning crew in this

budget.

Like, I got married.

That's music. You're married.

It's over.

I'm having a beer and candy for breakfast.

We were supposed to slow clap there, Ariana. Where were you?

I'm great at a slow clap.

Tina. Tina.

Tina.

Next time on Vanderpump Rules.

Kristen, she's blowing up my phone every day to talk about Tom. I mean, she just

will not let this go.

Face it head on, but not here.

When it comes to my business, do not talk to Kristen about me at all. How do

not expect me to be insecure?

Do you talk about Tom 24 -7 all the time?

I do not talk about him 24 -7.

You do, Kristen.

How the hell do I get Jack to tell the truth?

You need my help.

I am not white. You know what happened in Miami?

What do I do here? I think you should tell the truth.

I'm so sorry that your best friend, my ex -boyfriend, I think I feel bad for

her. No, they don't feel bad.

To see more of Vanderpump Rules, go to bravotv .com.