All language subtitles for Real.Housewives.of.New.Jersey.S6E05

Previously on The Real Housewives of New
Jersey.

We are going to a theme party that my
boyfriend is opening as first

Oh my God, Nicole's trying to set me up
with that guy over there.

He's cute!

I run a mortgage bank.

Joe has actually been indicted for
mortgage fraud. I can't be in the same

Where's Amber's husband?

You want the truth or you want me to
lie? I want the truth.

He can't be around a guy like Joe
because he does mortgages.

I really don't know, Jim, but the fact
that he's judging me or my family, that

does hurt.

It was Nicole that broke up with him. I
heard that through the grapevine.

She mentioned that maybe you had wrecked
a family. She's pulling it out of her

fat ass.

You owe me an apology for talking behind
my back that I'm a hoe and I broke up

all these marriages.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! They all
attacked her and attempted... Who's

It's Amber's hair.

You're a jerk, Walt. You don't want to
hang out with us. No. I work with the

same attorney general that's prosecuting
your brother -in -law. You're dumb.

You never know how strong you are until
it's the only choice you have.

I've learned to forgive and never
regret.

You're not seeing double.

Everyone loves us.

You're seeing trouble.

I'm a survivor.

What did you just say? No one is
bringing me down.

I'm back to bring the zen.

Namaste, bitches.

Oh, oh, hey, buddy, come here. We're
done.

You better walk away. Why are you going
to walk away, though?

Just you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kim. Hold on, hold
on.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. Hey,
Jimmy.

He's going to punch him in the face.

Just a year ago, Joe and I wanted to
kill each other.

Be a man. Stick with your blood.

I'm not sticking with scum like you.

Apologize. Now we're back together. I
backed up Joe because he's my brother

-law.

I love Joe, you guys.

Jimmy, I didn't disrespect you. Did I?
Joe, I'm so glad you're in here. You

right here.

Yes, I'm staying away. Where's my
husband? Your husband's out there. Get

husband. Joe!

Joe!

He didn't do anything.

Trace, stay out of it.

Did I call you a jerk? I'm actually not
sure who called me a jerk. I'm asking

you a question.

I'm asking you a question.

Get the hell inside.

I'm asking him a question. Shut up.
Stop.

Joey, please. I just want an apology.

Mr. Professional, would you please stop
spitting in my face?

Well, I apologize because I'm spitting
in your face. Thank you. Why don't you

take two steps back and give me my
personal space?

Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. Give him his
personal space. Would you guys stop? All

right. The guy is working with the
Attorney General. I don't think it's too

smart of him to be saying that, but, I
mean, whatever. Yeah, whatever, but, you

know, I work for the Attorney General's
office and I'm a lawyer or whatever.

And you dump these guys. Yeah, you know
what I mean? He called them a dump. He

shouldn't be calling them a dump.

I mean, that's not right. That's not
right. But what I was trying to do. I

you the truth, I'd go out there and help
my brother.

Cold. It's cold out here, Joe. You don't
want to know. I don't need to help. No,

no, no. I don't need to help him.

He's fine.

It's called etiquette and decor.

Two steps back. You can't shine my
shoes. All right, who cares? Apologize

Did you go wait? You are disrespecting
yourself.

I'm happy that my brother's defending
Joe and I.

But I don't want it to get physical.

Stop with the nonsense.

I don't fight.

I think it's stupid.

I'm trained as an attorney. If I want to
hurt you, I'm going to sue you. I'm

going to leverage your house I'm going
to give you three years of hell in a

courtroom. I'm going to bleed you dry
financially, and I'm going to humiliate

you as I depose you for eight hours and
make you my bitch.

He's a rat. He told you he's going to be
arrested.

How about that? So you were right. I
didn't say that.

Don't talk about my friends over here.
When I come up and he's talking about my

friends that I happen to really like,
and he's turning around, I'm protecting

your brother -in -law. What does that
mean?

Explain this. Can you do me a favor? Can
you see if someone has my keys in

there? Because I'm not going back in
there.

Let's go inside to get your keys, honey.
All right. Come on. Let's go inside.

They're animals. I know they are. Relax,
honey.

I was the villain. I was a freaking
witch on a stake.

Everyone was just coming to the
conclusion that I freaking do spells and

naked in the woods.

All I know is after all this, all I want
her to do in front of everybody was

admit that she made up a lie about me.
That I was a homewrecker, which is so

bizarre because I'm divorced.

Yes, but the bottom line is she lied
behind my back to Melissa. So you see

she had to do? She had to defuse that
and start a fight with me. She knew she

was going to be called out again. That's
all I have to say.

I'm very angry with Jim and Amber, and
I'm very angry that the fight took place

in front of upstanding members in our
community and people who have to see in

the postal office and Dunkin' Donuts.

For the record, if Reno ever calls me a
drunk off again, I'm going to humiliate

him. I'm not getting in the middle. I'm
not getting in the middle. I'm not

getting in the middle.

Both of you, come here real quick.

This is Jimmy James' rubber badge.

I'm going to make myself the new
district attorney tonight. I just want

congratulate you. I'm going to
congratulate you. Congratulations.

You're right. Thank you. Thank you very
much. Thank you very much. I heard from

the twins that you didn't want to be
associated with my husband.

I told Bobby I didn't want to go
bowling.

A guy's night out, honestly, I don't get
enough time with my wife and my kids.

I'm like, listen, we're going to go out.
Let's go with families. Let's enjoy our

children. I don't want to be in a
situation where I'm out drinking with

guys. So you never said that?

No. What I said was, I don't want to put
your family in danger in a situation

where there's drinking.

Right, right, right. And there's one -on
-one contact where, God forbid,

something could go in a bad direction.

But that direction, were you thinking
that a fight would happen?

I'm the president of an unsupervised
Title II bank. What we do is we've been

prosecuting mortgage fraud.

I want you to think about that for a
minute.

So what are you saying?

Is it a negative thing against Joe, what
you're saying right now?

It's not a negative.

You said that in the kitchen.

Jesus Christ, does anyone here have an
IQ above 12?

No. Let me spell this out for everyone.
What is Joe being prosecuted for?

Mortgage -backed fraud. What do I do?

Mortgage -backed fraud prosecution.

Why did you come here tonight?

My best friend invited me. Why did you
come here? I've known Bobby for 15

Jim is acting like a real bitch, like a
chick.

Like he's coming at us like another
angry woman would.

You have a very condescending way of
talking to people, especially you just

insulted all of us at the IQ over 12.
We're trying to understand the situation

and try to help you guys. You know why
I'm condescending?

Because I'm tired.

Okay. I actually explained it three
times. What don't you freaking

Don't raise your voice at me.

I can't deal with it.

Get the fuck out of here. I'm sorry.

We really need to talk, especially to
women.

I don't need to talk to you any way I
want. I'll talk however I choose.

I'm trying to explain to you. You are
her bitch. You definitely are her bitch.

Shove it up his ass, Amber. Shove it up
his ass.

Jim Marchese.

The magnitude of his douchebaggery can
clean a whale's vagina.

Yeah, exactly.

Glad Bobby didn't want any drama.

I'm glad Bobby started most of the
drama. And Melissa.

I'm going to have a talk with his ass.

Part of my French, but I really feel
like Jim's trying to mine Teresa.

He's definitely not on your case. I
believe Amber would have told me that.

Please don't even say that word.

Anything that has to do with my legal
issues, I just automatically shut down

I get nervous.

These people are like the masters of
diluting a situation so that we are no

longer discussing what they said and
we're now discussing Teresa's situation?

This guy is like a wolf in sheep's
clothing.

I actually felt bad for Amber because it
was...

Two against one. But the way this ended
tonight, I don't know how any of us can

be around Jim again.

Because did you hear what Amber said
downstairs? Oh, yeah.

She said, and that's why Bobby will
never marry you.

How in the world did I get into this?

Hold on. Don't laugh. It's not funny.
No, wait a minute. It's tough enough to

a man.

No, wait. It's not being a man. What did
she say?

Knowing Amber and Jimmy for as long as I
have, we've had many conversations

about how much struggled in the past
with opening up and expressing how I

to Nicole.

So Amber now wants to capitalize on this
knowledge and use it against me.

Because I don't even know if I want to
marry you. I got nothing to do with

saying, really?

Really? Go ahead, do it. Keep doing it.
She said, wait, no, don't fight. So

seriously, if you ever speak to this
girl again, we're done.

First of all, don't threaten me, number
one. OK, number two.

I wasn't down there when she opened the
diary of the mouth, so don't get my face

about what Amber said.

I'm upstairs. I got nothing to do with
it. So pump the brakes.

Okay? Really.

Seriously. Okay? I had nothing to do
with what Amber said. I was on a

floor. Really? I'm not even going to
answer that. I'm not even going to

that.

Don't fight about that.

Don't fight about that. You can't get in
her head.

You can't get in her head. No.

You cannot stop.

Bob, he's in a horrible position.

This was his best friend.

for over 10 years.

But I just always want to feel like the
man I'm with has my back, bottom line.

So if someone's mistreating me terribly,
not a shot in hell is my boyfriend,

fiance, husband ever going to socialize
with that person.

I really don't know what happened.

And now let's just eat.

Coming up.

I think I'm being spit out by the muscle
head.

He's like a half an hour late already.

That's so messed up.

Girls, where's Daddy?

Shut up!

Daddy said there's a surprise.

Do you girls know what the surprise is?

I think it's another puppy.

Another dog?

I got you an alarm clock.

The red one's a rooster?

One's a rooster.

Then it's going to wake us up.

If that freaking rooster wakes me up in
the morning, I'll throw it in the pond,

I swear to God.

I don't know why he got chickens.

They smell.

It smells like crap everywhere.

Oh, my God, he's turning into his dad.

Joe's dad has chickens upstate New York.

I'd like them to stay in New York. I
really didn't want to bring them to our

home. Let me show you what these
chickens do. Come here.

I'm not going in that cage.

You're out of your mind.

Come in here real quick. Come on.

O -M -G.

The poop looks like mustard.

Gia, come over here. Come over here.
Quick.

Come over here. All the stupid things
are flapping their wings down. Are you

happy we're in here, Joe? What's the
point of us being here? I wanted to show

you what I made. I don't care.

It's beautiful.

Look, you open up over here, and they
lay their eggs, and you grab the eggs.

Got to live off the land, baby.

You get eggs in the morning, and you
make scrambled eggs. That's what you do.

They lay eggs, and the eggs are very
healthy for you, and there's no

or any preservatives.

What are they putting eggs?

I mean, steroids?

They're all natural.

All right, Joe, can you carry me out of
here?

Oh, my God. Ready? No, no, my back
hurts. Come on. All right, this way.

No, wait, my ass is going.

That's so disgusting.

Bobby's party was a nightmare.

Joe is such a wonderful father, and if
people like Jim don't know that, then

just stay away from us.

Friends are important, but there's
nothing more important than your

family.

You're my new family.

Hot water with lemon. Hot water with
lemon. And a napkin to get rid of my

gum. Okay.

Thank you.

After the first responders party, Matt
called me and asked me to go on a date

the city.

Well, cheers.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

I haven't been on a first date in over
15 years.

What if he expects sex? I mean, is that
what the girls are doing these days? I

don't know.

Serendipity, for God's sakes. Just blow
it up.

So I guess I'm supposed to try the
frozen hot chocolate? Yes, it's a drink.

It's amazing.

All right, I'll do the peanut butter.
Okay. Yeah.

Hello?

Hi, girl.

Hey, honey. You at the restaurant?

I think I'm being spit out by the
musclehead.

What time are you supposed to meet him
there? He's like a half an hour late

already.

That's so messed up. What, do you think
he's a freak?

All right, call me right after. I want
to know how it goes.

All right, goodbye.

All right, bye.

Oh, my God, now I really look like a
depressed single girl. Are you going to

order anything new? Can I order a french
fry?

A french fry? Yeah. Sure.

I'm, like, sitting here by myself with
this big, lonely, frozen hot chocolate.

I was more excited to see these on my
date that's not here yet.

They're really hot, okay?

How pathetic.

I got so sorry to keep you waiting. No,
it's all right. You look awesome.

What's going on?

Nothing. Is everything all right?

It was. I got a flat tire on the way in.
I'm sorry that happened.

No, it's okay. Listen, I'm sorry to keep
you waiting. You could have called and

just said we'll make it for another
time. Oh, no. I wouldn't want to give

up. I'm just relieved he showed up.

Great. I'm not that big of a loser.

You didn't try yet?

I did.

You look like you don't eat this kind of
stuff.

I think I'm going to go with like a
coffee of some sort.

Hey, how are you? Can I have a coffee?

Coffee? Sure. Thank you. You're welcome.

I was looking forward to seeing you from
the party. What a crazy night.

Yeah, I was a little crazy.

Thank you.

So, I don't know too much, but I guess
you're going through a divorce?

Separated. Still live with him.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I started doing, like, pot yoga and
everything.

You have to come with me one day. I
don't know about that.

I've got to be honest with you.

He was very charming, very sweet.

I don't know if he's that smart.

I actually am a good cook.

Thank you so much.

Maybe one day I'll cook for you.

I'll play that by ear.

Sadness.

All right, thank you.

We'll give him a hug. I'll see you soon.

Here you go, bro.

See you.

Good seeing you. Bye.

I'm all right.

Oh, my God.

She freaking ripped it in here. You got
to switch our food. She's killing me.

Is this clean or dirty, hon? It's dirty.

All right.

I'm just... trying to recover
emotionally from the first responders

all I want to do is spend a lot of time
with my family.

What is it with socks that they just
freaking disappear?

I am so, so upset.

I'm just such a fighter.

You know, I really am. I fought for my
life before.

If someone is coming at me and attacking
me, I will not back down. I will come

at them.

And it's just discernment. I should have
had discernment, and I should have

walked away.

We're in the kitchen.

Hey. I'm selling hats.

Hats. Somebody forgot a hat.

I didn't forget it.

Oh, my gosh.

What the hell are you guys doing?
Laundry?

Yeah. Four kids, man. That's what we do.

Are you a folder? You a good folder?

You know, my loyalty would always, one
would hope, go to the person I'm dating.

But in this case, Jimmy and I have been
friends now for about 12 years.

Amber has become like a sister to me.

Want something to drink?

Something warm.

You want a hottie -tottie?

A hottie -tottie. That might be all
right.

I need to talk to these people and try
to figure out how we're going to put

Humpty Dumpty back together again.

So I'm going to... I know I'm... No, no,
no.

Bobby, I'm looking at you right now.

What you did, I am so ashamed of you.
What I did?

Amber, let's talk about what started
this whole thing.

You apparently heard some kind of bull
story that Nicole ended a marriage.

I was actually sticking up for the
rumors that are going around. How is

sticking up? By telling Melissa she had
an affair with a guy that was married.

First of all, what I said to Melissa, I
don't think it's true. I know people can

be complete a -holes, and they spread
nasty rumors.

Doesn't matter what you heard. There was
no need to have this conversation with

her. It did nothing for anybody.

Bobby, to me, is just a coward.

How could he put Nicole over me and my
husband?

Sadly, I misjudged how close of a friend
Bobby was with us. I can't wait until

you are finally done with Nicole. Ah, it
can happen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no. What, you're going to marry her? Do
you love her?

Bobby, you can't stand the girl. How
about you call me and be like, when is

girl going to stop hanging on me? When
will she stay away from me?

The one who you make fun of her makeup
and you don't want to kiss her. I make

fun of her makeup. Yes, you do.

Jimmy, are you really going to sit here
and talk out of your ass?

You can't just fabricate stories and
make things up.

Who is this guy? Who is this girl that I
looked at like a sister?

There's a lot of bad blood here right
now. I'm completely blood. We're done.

Nicole is right.

These people went bad.

They made their bed. They need to lie in
it now.

And I guess, really, that's how you have
to end that conversation.

What else are we going to talk about?
It's never going to get better, and

it. A lot of data.

So I guess we're good.

Yeah, no, we're good.

Have a good night, Bobby. Okay. Where's
my keys?

It really, really hurts to lose Bobby as
a friend.

I really wanted him a part of our
family, and Jim really loved him as a

Enjoy your evening.

This loss is definitely a hurt. It's a
heartache. It really is.

Are you okay?

It's sad.

It's really sad.

Coming up next... You need anything. I'm
always around.

I know. You know that.

I appreciate that.

Everybody in that family is in my heart.

Here, you want to pop the bread in the
basket for me while I cut it? Just watch

your fingers.

My friends are coming over.

You know what they are?

They're twins.

Gino is crazy.

He is weird.

Click, click, click.

Click, click.

I can't believe it.

I know. I left my jacket in the car.

Hi. Hi.

Shop till you drop. And let me see that
whole little tutu skirt.

Oh, my gosh.

Hi, guys. It's stunning. She did this
big.

How are you?

All right.

What's going on?

Mike Tyson and Sugar Ray Leonard.

Hey.

How are you?

I knew there was going to be tension at
Bobby's party, but I had no idea they

were going to walk into the room and,
like, bam, there was going to be, like,

weaves flying.

Go watch TV.

You can't push me out of my way.

I can't push you out of your way?

Is that what you said?

And she said it with a little sass and
swag going on. Do you go to dancing

school? Because I bet you're a good
dancer, too. I see the way you move.

She's a cheerleader.

I want to show my back. Oh, you want to
show them? Okay, she wants to show your

back walkover. Okay.

Woo! Wow.

Nicole, show her your cartwheel. You can
do a cartwheel? Only for you I would do

a cartwheel, okay? Ready?

Woo! Wow!

Melissa and Joe are good people.

There's been so much drama going on with
surrounding ourselves, with people we

can laugh with, people we can trust.

Good friends.

So you're building in Franklin Lake
City. Yeah, and Joe builds it because

not worth it for him to buy someone
else's house because he can do it

And he creates to do what you want.
Yeah, it's like our hobby. Daddy makes

houses.

How sweet is that?

We're the best, the best.

Gosh, it's so good.

And the garlic, I need to take it. It
doesn't do no much.

We're trying to figure out what is the
deal with Amber.

I think she needs meds.

I don't know. A doctor should write her
a script.

So I really thought when she came in,
maybe there's a shot, because this was

supposedly my friend, to come over and
just be a little humble and say, you

what, Nicole?

I'm sorry. That's what a woman would do.
A lady, she's not.

The only way I could ever see my
friendship with Amber recovering is if

so remorseful of what she did wrong.

Then maybe, maybe.

I can't figure out why she feels like
she needs to be so...

She's very uptight. No, that's called
insecurity.

Yeah, you're right, Jo.

I'll drink to that. Nailed it. Know what
I noticed?

When Jim was speaking to me and Dina and
Teresa, he was speaking to us like we

were his little children. And I said,
you know what? Maybe this one talked to

her like, who knows? And that's how she
knows how to speak to us.

I think Jim's behavior has a negative
effect on the way the other girls and I

view Amber.

You know, you and your spouse are like
one.

I don't know if she felt outnumbered or
whatever. If you have a husband that

looks like that and got the smallest
penis in the world, you'll be angry too.

The girl's pissed off.

How many chickens are we getting?

I don't know. We're going to see how
many they got. I want 100 chickens.

going to see what happens now. What
happens to the other chickens?

Simba killed them, and I'm glad because
I have hair stuck.

They have what?

They have what?

Hairless butt. A hairless butt chicken?

Last night, Gia called me, and she's
like, Mom, I'm stuck in a dog cage

Simba's out.

Mom! Yeah, babe?

Simba's out here. He killed two
chickens.

My pants.

Where are the chickens at? He was eating
one, Dad.

I don't know what to do.

I wanted these chickens to bring
happiness to my kids, but you can't

everything, you know?

I think we're here.

Yay!

I don't know if that's a rooster or
what.

Joe and I understand each other. We
could just get together and goof out and

laugh and just have a good time.

Hi, Joe.

How are you? I brought my cousin Rosie.

Your cousin who, Jody?

How are you?

Brody, hi.

What's your name?

Jean.

Hi, Jean. I'm Melania.

Melania, you see any chickens you like?
I can bring some out for her to look at.

Look at that thing. You always have to
make sure you have their wing.

What happened to mine?

What happened to what?

It looks like a toe broke off.

No, I'm just holding her toes together.
That's all. Her toes are fine.

You want me to put her in a carrier or
something now? They're good, those ones?

We'll take those. All right.

Let's get these chickens where they need
to be.

Okay. I'll take one box if you want me
to.

There's handles on the side. You see the
handles?

Watch this. The chickens will peck your
hand. See if they peck Melania.

Joe, I've been thinking about you guys.

Why, Joe?

Well, I mean, I know you got a lot of
stuff going on.

I'm just trying to say that if you need
anything, I'm here.

And so whenever I go for a drink or have
dinner, just to get out, get your mind

off things.

I'm going to phone call away.

Appreciate it. Yeah. Thank you.

I realize that Truce and Joe are having
some difficulties right now.

It's tough to know what to say.

You know, all I know is everybody in
that family is in my heart.

You need anything, I'm always around.

I know. You know that.

I appreciate that.

worried for you.

I mean, we got a good team together, so,
you know.

Yeah, that's good.

Come on, let's get this thing to smoke a
cigarette.

All right,

I guess that was a no.

So how was the rest of the day? It was
very sweet, but it's very young.

I mean, you admitted he's 35 years old.
It's okay to be young. There's nothing

wrong with that. It's okay for a boy
toy.

I hate this, by the way. I'm over it.
I'm over it.

We need to go somewhere warm.

Hello? Hi.

We're actually meeting somebody here. I
don't know if she's here yet. Amber?

Yes, she's here. I'll show you where she
is.

Amber invited me and Teresa to a spot,
and I'm willing to hear her out.

I have compassion for Amber for this
fight.

I don't think any particular one person
was to blame, but I still think Jim's a

piece of shit.

Hi. Hi.

Where did you bring us? Hi.

This is how I greet you. Yes.

I'm sorry. I'm so disrespectful.

Good. How are you? Good. How are you
doing? Go ahead. Have a seat.

I do have sympathy for Amber because
regardless of what Amber did, the twins

should have never put their hands on
her.

So are you ready for facial?

Yeah. Okay.

I don't like to alienate anyone because
it's been done to me, so I'm willing to

hear Amber out.

I'm not going to hold Jim's actions
against her. You actually look good in

this.

First of all, about Jim, he feels very
badly that he

was a little abrasive, not a little, a
lot abrasive to you girls.

He probably should have handled you guys
a little bit better.

I don't want to hear it.

Like, whatever I'm going through, I'm
going through it with my husband. So I

don't like anybody at all to mention it.
To me, it's crossing the line, and it's

going somewhere that it shouldn't be
going.

He wanted you to know that he respects
your family.

People were also just attacking him,
too, so I think he was just very

and just, he was in a good spot. I mean,
he's never been in a fight.

He was very distraught.

Understandably so. I mean, I'm not going
to be...

I'm not, you know, taking apologies,
though. I mean, he realized what he did

wrong. Yes, he did.

I mean, I was going to say, what is this
smell?

Like, it smells a little funky.

It smells like a little bit of peanut
butter.

Okay, ladies, so I applied the
nightingale droppings on your skin. What

say again?

Nightingale droppings.

What?

It's nightingale bird poopy. Are you
freaking kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm

to make sure I keep my mouth really
closed.

Where are you at with Melissa right now?
Did you guys ever, like, figure out

your stuff?

I'm very hurt. I'm very hurt by Melissa
right now.

Because I wasn't gossiping. I did hear
this information about Nicole.

I told Melissa behind closed doors, was
I wrong in even saying it to Melissa to

begin with?

Yes, I'll admit that.

And the fact that she told them, I don't
get why.

The one thing I'm seeing about Melissa,
and I don't want to talk bad in front of

you, but whatever, I think she's very
passive -aggressive. Totally.

She stirs up some shit and then walks
away with a half a smirk on her face.

a smirk on her face.

Amber and Melissa were tight friends,
and then you meet someone new and you go

rat on an old friend.

There's got to be some loyalty
somewhere.

She was just very cold, very, just very
accusatory.

I experienced that she was very cold.
Yeah, I mean, like in the beginning, you

know, we got along great.

After she got married to my brother,
then things changed. Then she became

cold. Because I would call her and then
she would ignore my phone calls.

Yeah. And before she used to answer my
phone calls. So I'm like, okay, I get

I get it.

But we're all good now. You know, we've
worked out our differences. So maybe

that's where you need to figure out with
her.

Like, if you could get past what she
did.

I really appreciate the fact that Teresa
is listening to my story.

And she's right. Once I understand why
Melissa did what she did, I can really

try to be friends.

Jesus forgives even the worst murderers
in the world.

And if Jesus does it, I could certainly
do it.

I thought I had more of a history with
Melissa.

I really wanted that friendship with
her.

I wanted to move on and rekindle a lot,
you know.

We had a lot of good times back in the
20s, you know.

I'm not going to hate her and write her
off as a friend, but I'm definitely, I

have my eyes wide open. Now I'm just
going to take it easy with her.

Take it very easy. I want this off.

So do I. It's burning my freaking face.
It's like pulling on my face and I can't

even make an expression.

I can't even. Listen, if it takes away
these fine lines on my forehead, I'm

going to put poop on my face all day.

Coming up.

Amber, you are a downright liar. Because
I haven't shown anyone that I'm a liar.

You have.

There you go.

Harvey?

Harvey, don't be a nipper.

Ow. Oh, oh, oh.

What the? Where does it go? I don't
know. It's starting to get, like,

man. He's a food pig. He doesn't see
well. I thought he was blind.

He's, like, partially blind.

I don't think I want to go by him. I
don't know, man. It looks like he's

to buck.

Listen, these animals were frightened, I
think. You know, they've never seen

Melania in action, you know?

I think it's a little nerdy. Melania.
Melania doesn't even care.

Ow!

I'll put some in the dish for him so he
stops bothering you. Come on.

Hi. Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you?

We wanted to get matching tattoos.

Maybe a small little heart.

Some other daughter bond kind of thing.

Okay. And you are 18?

Yes. Okay, good.

I don't think this guy's heard of mother
and daughters getting matching tattoos,

but I'm one of her best friends.

This is totally normal, right?

Okay, are you ready? Yeah.

Okay.

Ow!

It hurts.

Oh,

my God, it hurts so bad.

You're not allowed to say what's wrong
with you.

It's another level that hurts.

Was that horrible?

You're going to die.

No, it's a bad spot.

It's cute.

It'll be a couple minutes. I have to
break everything down, soak everything

down. I'm going to get in the zone.

I'm nervous.

Mom, grow up.

If it's any consolation, they call me
Frankie the Feather.

Oh, that's a pleasant name.

Another lying man.

Oh, no.

So how was your date?

He's very sweet.

Younger, muscly, all buff and handsome,
spray tan.

Please don't date, like, a younger guy
and try to act all young and listen to

rap music. Like, don't be one of those
moms.

I'm not ready for that anyway.

Okay. You know what's weird about
talking to Lexi about me dating? It's

starting where, like, men hit on us
both, and she doesn't think.

So gross. She's like, Mom, don't be that
cougar. And I'm like, it's not me.

You know, these guys are not me.

All right, let's do it. Let's do it.
Okay.

I'm going to get you started with a
couple little lines. Want to hold my

hand? Yes, I do. I can't believe I want
to hold your clammy hand.

Are you ready?

I'm ready.

Don't do that.

It'll all be over.

It's not like...

The tattoo that bonds us, it's just the
fact that when she goes to college, I

could just look down and know that we
have this bond that nobody can break.

There's love and real love there.

It's cute, right?

Do you think a Jewish man won't want me
because they don't like tattoos?

Mom, you really are so weird.

There he is. Hey, Bob. What's up, you
handsome W? This is my first time at a

range. First time. Is there anything in
particular you have in mind? We did the

BYOG program.

All right. Brought my own gun. Going to
a gun range is the perfect way to let

off steam after an argument.

We're going to shoot at lucky number
eight.

And when I was a kid, like, I loved
Charlie's Angels, and I loved pretending

was an angel.

Load it up.

You're going to cock this hammer back.

You take a breath, and as you're
exhaling...

Squeeze real slow.

Holy mackerel. OK.

Oh, that was really good.

That was right there. You have good aim.

The fight with Amber and Jimmy has
absolutely brought Nicole and I closer

because I sacrificed a relationship with
people that I've been friends with for

over a decade.

Boom. She has learned that I do have her
back.

Why? Because that is the corner that I'm
in.

And she did nothing wrong.

So cool, but scary.

Okay, no, no, no, no. Finger off the
trigger. Oh, finger off the trigger.

on. Hand off. Oh, my God. And as soon as
you have it lined up, then you put your

finger on, and remember, really slow.

Where the heck did that go? I think it
took out his ear.

How? the world did i shoot his ear i
don't know when that red thing looked

exactly like it was on that because you
pulled the trigger a little too crazy i

have to control myself and that is
freaking powerful okay ready so i'm

cock it back yep my hands now rest your
finger up by the trigger take a breath

and as you exhale keep that lined up and
just slowly start oh my god you got a

bullseye

I'd high -five you, but now I can't high
-five you. High -five the gun, Dad.

That was a great shot.

Good job.

Yay! Wow. Oh, my God. Look at that.

You know what this means?

What does it mean? I'm a hell of a
teacher.

Amber saying that Bobby has no
intentions of marrying me was

And, of course, I feel really bad that
Jim and Bobby aren't friends anymore,

it makes me feel good that he actually
chose me. That's a gun.

Are you ready?

Wow. I've seen so much growth in Bobby
because it's very hard for him to open

and express himself.

But if anyone in this world can bring
that out of him, it's definitely me. You

have to put love out there because it's
just everything.

Can I shoot now?

Actually, I did just as good as you, and
mine was even a little closer.

Thank you so much. Actually, you know
what? Can I order a cappuccino?

I'll make it for you. All right. And
with skim milk and if you have a straw.

I decided to take Teresa's advice and to
give Melissa a call.

You know, I don't necessarily need that
big apology, but I just want some sort

of an explanation and empathy for the
absolute mayhem that she created.

Hey. Hello. How are you?

How's your head feeling?

My head? Yeah.

Why would my head feel... You mean like
I have a headache?

No, because the whole hair pulling.

Oh, a little cat fight?

No, no, my head's fine. My hair is fine.
I lose more hair in the shower.

Oh.

Well, that's good to know. I was like
swatting away little gnats.

How are you? Hi, how are you doing? I'm
Tony, nice to meet you. Anything for

you? Can I just have a lemon? Oh, we
have lemon. Okay, I'm good. Anything you

need, let me know, okay? Yeah, thank
you. Yeah.

Anyway, how are you?

Pretty good.

I feel like the other night was like a
little, whoa. Trashy? Yeah.

Trashy beyond belief.

I can't even tell you how low I feel. I
didn't think that that was going to

happen. I was completely in shock with
the whole hair pulling.

First of all, I will never speak to
those girls again.

Once you cross that line and get
physical, it's done. I have to say, as

onlooker, you brought the aggression.

You know you're the only one to say
that? You smacked her hand.

She had her hand in front of me. You
came up very violent, like very ready to

like... Why are you so defensive?

Let's back this up a little bit.

Please. Okay.

I told you something incompetent. Right.

And I said to you, people are saying
things about Nicole.

Maybe you shouldn't have said that to me
because that was your friend. I don't

know why you're putting me in the middle
to even tell me something like that. I

didn't put you anywhere.

I don't care if Melissa said, Amber says
Nicole's goat. She should have kept her

mouth shut. I just felt betrayed by her
big time.

I said, this is what I've been hearing.
No, you didn't. Yes, I did. No, you did

not. It was Nicole that broke up with
him.

I heard that through the grapevine.

Amber, you are a downright liar. Okay,
that doesn't work with me. I don't give

a... I haven't shown anyone that I'm a
liar. You have.

I'm not here to argue with you. I'm not
here to argue with you. I'm here to tell

you. What I see is you're being a liar
and a troublemaker. I'm not going to lie

about that. Absolutely.

What I think, you feel guilty because of
you, what you did. I don't feel guilty.

I got into a fight with two girls.

I'm not surprised that Amber wants to
blame everything on me. I feel like

constantly looking to take the heat off
herself and put the attention elsewhere.

Melissa's a bad friend, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.

I don't feel guilty at all.

Maybe you should. This girl doesn't have
to have this rumor out about her that

you lied about.

Why? You just met Nicole. You just met
her. Do you want to know why? Yeah, why?

Because I'm watching you. I don't trust
you.

You took what I said, and you started
trouble. And this is why I don't trust

you. Your husband walked up to my
husband, went in his ear, and called him

dumbass.

Were you up there then? Because I was
there.

You came back into my life. I introduced
you to my family. You know, actually,

to be honest with you, Melissa. What's
your agenda? Ever since you have come

back into my life, I've had nothing but
problems. Oh. To be honest with you. Is

that true? That is very much true. And
that's from me or from your crazy lies?

think, okay.

I don't know what has happened to you in
the last eight years, but you're a very

tainted woman.

Very tainted. Very tainted. I'm very
tainted. Absolutely.

She's not taking ownership of anything.

She's not going to be apologetic for
anything.

This is typical Melissa.

She creates the problem, but then says,
I didn't have anything to do with it.

Puts her hands up in the air.

Well, that's what I'm saying. I do feel
that it would be very beneficial to

everyone to sit and have a conversation.

Absolutely not. No.

All right, we're done.

Just think about it, to talk it out,
because there's a lot of he said, she

and maybe it needs to be squashed, is
all I'm saying.

It's not happening.

Think about it.

Next time on The Real Housewives of New
Jersey.

Well, be careful. Watch these people.

Oh, boy. Let's knock her out. What do
you want to be when you grow up?

A criminal lawyer.

I think she could protect her mom and
dad.

I'm going to be the ring bearer.

Wait a minute. Hey, hey, hey. Rosie, are
you getting married?

No. Watch that conversation.

Hi, Amber. It's Nicole.

I think we need to clear a lot of things
up.

You took what someone said, and you
continued speaking about the rumors. So

were doing the things like crazy.
Melissa.

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