Original subtitles

[music]

[knocking on the door]

Come in.

Hi, I'm Todd. I called earlier.

Oh, Todd, Hi. Please come in, have a seat.

So, tell me…

why does a handsome gentleman like you need a matchmaker?

[chuckling]

Thanks.

Um… I'm in my last year of law school…

and I'm…

just focusing on my studies.

I've been going to a couple of dating sites but they all seem to be scams.

And, uh…

I don't have time to, you know, go out and make small talk.

-I don't even drink, you know. -Absolutely.

You're a quality partner, I can tell.

You need to find someone that's on your level.

Honestly, I wouldn't even waste your time with the trash at the bars.

[chuckles]

Thanks. Um…

Yeah, you know, I think I'd be a great partner, for the right person.

And I guess you're the person to make that happen.

So, uh, where do I get started?

Absolutely. Let's find you your dream girl.

[sighs]

[Kelly] Todd, you fill this out for me.

[Kelly] Please take your time.

It's very important to answer these questions to find your match.

Uh, I think I already filled this out online.

Did you?

[sighs]

The website's messing up,

I've been needing to get it fixed.

Um…

I don't see it.

Are you in a rush? Um, cause you could just

fill it out by hand here and if you have any questions, I can help you.

Yeah, I, I have to…

Uh, take a class.

You know, over the phone, you said it would only take like 15 minutes.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Look…

if you aren't willing to spend…

an extra hour to find the love of your life,

are you really ready to make a match?

Um…

Look, I, I'm sorry. I, I guess I can get someone to give me the notes.

Good.

Just fill that up.

[birds chirping]

Hey, Todd. How you doing, handsome?

Hey, um, your assistant told me to come in immediately.

You found a match already?

Not so fast. But, don't worry. Love is definitely worth waiting for.

I just have a few more questions for you.

A few more questions?

I was here the other day for three hours.

What else could you ask?

Well, if you must know, I've contacted some of my big clients.

I sent your profile to a list of my VIPs and these are very gorgeous,

smart women, who are very, very picky.

And…

some of them are fighting over you.

Hold on, uh, look I don't want anybody fighting over me, okay?

I just…

just wanna settle down with one woman.

[sighs]

My VIPs require a little more information, so…

just make yourself comfortable, it's only a handful of questions.

Um, uh, alright.

Okay, then.

Now…

what is your favorite colour?

Seriously?

Yes.

This is important to some people.

Think long-term. like, what would you paint a bedroom?

-I don't know, blue? -Okay.

-Are you a dog or a cat person? -Dog.

I mean, I guess…

the right cat could…

persuade me.

I like that answer.

[Kelly] Um…

-beach or mountains? -Beach. Definitely beach.

And what are your turn-ons?

Uh, excuse me?

Well, we are finding a lover here, so what gets you hard?

[scoffs]

Look, that's, uh…

it's kind of personal, you know. I'm just looking for a mental connection, and…

A quality woman needs mental and physical satisfaction.

Come on, what gets you going?

Are you into roleplay? Do you like dirty talk?

-Are you, like, dominant? -Okay, okay. Um…

If I'm being honest, um…

workout clothes turn me on.

-Okay. -it's my turn-on.

[clicks]

Well, I will make sure your match has a good fitness routine.

-Great. -Now, what else?

Are you more aggressive or are you more romantic in the bedroom?

Um, aggressive.

-You know, if she's into that. -Great.

-And how big is your cock? -What!?

Well…

all of our women's measurements are readily available.

I mean, if you can just see how big their tits and asses are, then…

I think they should know your size as well.

I guess that's fair.

I don't know, um…

eight inches.

Well, that is the perfect size.

And, that is all I need for today.

-That's it? -That's it.

And don't worry, you'll meet your dream girl soon enough.

[sighs]

[birds chirping]

Hey, Todd? Thanks for coming so quick.

I don't mean to be rude or anything like that,

but, do you think we can get done what we need to get done today.

You know…

I mean, my busy schedule is kind of why I got a matchmaker.

Well…

you sound like you wanna remain single.

No! No! It's, it's, it's not that. I make time for a girlfriend, just…

it just seems inefficient.

Well, don't worry.

I have a very short amount of time before my spin class at Iron's gym.

-So, this will be quick. -Uh, wait…

I go to Iron's gym too.

-I mean, I had time. -Oh, really?

I, uh, I had no idea.

[chuckles]

Uh-huh, anyway, uh, let's get to it.

I just need some more extensive photos of you.

But I sent you like, 50 pictures.

No, I, I know.

Um, they just didn't really show you off in the way that I wanna-

I mean, that the clients…

the clients need more precise photos.

Um…

more of you, and less of the distracting travel backgrounds.

I don't know, I mean, I feel like…

my photos show off my personality pretty well.

Trust me…

I know your good side.

Alright.

Where do, where do you want me to stand?

Um, you could stand just right here maybe.

-Okay. -Good. Yeah.

There we go.

Okay, these are great.

Um, do you think we could get some without the shirt on?

-[chuckles] Is that necessary? -Well, I mean, if you want to find like…

a really good match, it helps to show off, you know what you're working with.

Okay.

That's perfect.

[Kelly] Mm-hmm.

Um, do you think we could do a few more, um…

maybe without the pants on?

Come on, it's not. You don't really mean that, do you?

Well, I mean, you want the best match possible, right?

Yes, I do.

What better way to do that than a…

show the little package?

[Kelly] Mm-hmm.

-That's amazing -[Todd] Uh-huh.

Can I get you to spin for me just a little?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Alright. These, uh, these should do. These are great.

Yeah, that was, um…

That was, uh, interesting.

[sighs]

You know, um…

[sighs]

I don't really want my…

matches to think I'm really vain or anything.

No, no, no. Please, don't worry.

I'll look through these, and I'll just pick out a few,

and I'll send them in with your other photos.

Oh, I'm looking forward to…

see who you match me with.

Don't worry. You are going to love it.

It's all gonna be so worth it once you meet your perfect match.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

It's great, so, uh…

really excited.

Awesome.

-See you later. -See you later.

-Good evening, Todd. -Hey.

I don't mean to sound lame or anything like that,

but it is late, and I do have an exam in the morning.

You're such a hard worker, that's so admirable.

[chuckles] Thanks.

So, did you…

find me that match yet?

I did. I found your perfect match.

She's your age, she's in great shape, she owns her own business,

-and she only lives a few miles away. -That's awesome.

So, what do we do next? What's the next steps?

Uh, do we meet, have dinner?

Uh, I just have a few more questions.

You, wait, hold on, more.? Are you fucking kidding me? More questions?

-This is ridiculous. -Todd! You have to respect my process.

-I know what I'm doing. -Do you!?

Look…

just give me this woman's contact information, I'll just go from there.

I can't just give you her contact information.

That's not how this works.

Look, I hired you…

to save me time and all you're doing is wasting it.

When I pay you for a service, I expect you to go through with it, alright!?

So, why don't you just…

-put me in contact with this woman? -I just need a little more information.

Look, I, look, Okay! We're, we're done here! We're…

Have a good night.

Okay, fine!

I will put you in touch with her, although you…

-already have her number. -Excuse me?

Well, you see each other all the time,

and you even go to the same gym.

What's going on here?

It's me, Todd.

I am your perfect match.

I match everything you want in a woman.

[Kelly] I, I mean, I, I kept bringing you in here just to make sure.

I would never wanna let a client down, but the more I got to know you…

the more I know we're perfect.

[chuckles]

Loo, Kelly, you're a beautiful woman, alright?

But this is just…

this isn't the way that I thought it was gonna go.

This is crazy.

Crazy.

Do you think it's…

crazy?

What would you know about meeting somebody!?

You can't meet anybody!

That's why you came here and that's why you came to me!

No, no, no. I came here so you could set me up on a date!

You know, so I can meet someone, you know, get to know them, connect with them!

Not to be lied to and misled!

So a blind date with a girl where you both sit down,

and you pretend to be these fake versions of yourself!

You think that's how you're supposed to find love!?

Yeah, that's kind of how I thought this was going!

We have so many of the same interests and hobbies, so I've…

all that first day bullshit is already out of the way.

Now if we…

connect physically, then as a professional matchmaker…

I can say we're a perfect match.

Um…

[sighs]

You are…

you're the professional.

So we should give it a try.

Yes, let's give it a try.

[deep breathing, moaning]

Oh, shit.

[heavy breathing]

Oh, yeah.

Yes!

Fuck, yeah.

[deep breathing]

-[Kelly moaning] -[Todd panting]

-[Todd] Oh, my god. -[Kelly] Oh, yes.

[panting]

Oh, my god.

Yeah!

[deep breathing]

[moaning]

[removing heels]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, shit.

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, my…

[Todd] god.

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, shit.

[sucking and slurping]

[moaning]

[gagging]

[Todd] Oh, my g--

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[moaning]

[slurping]

[gagging]

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

[gagging]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[groaning loudly]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

Oh, that's good.

[groaning]

[Todd] Oh, my!

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

Mmm, yeah.

[Todd] Yes.

[gurgling]

[deep breathing]

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

Oh, shit!

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[groaning]

[Todd] Yes.

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

-Yes! -Oh, yes.

Yes! Look at that pussy.

[moaning]

I knew we are a match.

[deep breathing]

Yeah.

[moaning]

So much better than I thought.

[panting]

Oh, my god! Yes, yes, yes!

[gasping]

[moaning]

Fuck.

Yes!

[gasping]

[moaning]

Fuck.

[groaning]

[gasping]

Yeah.

Yeah.

[moaning]

Yes, yes, yes.

[gasps]

[moaning]

-Oh, fuck! -Yes, yes.

-Yes! Yes! -Don't you like aggressive?

Yes! Yes, just use me.

[moaning]

Oh, yes!

Oh, yes!

[moaning]

Yes, fuck me.

-Yeah! -Oh, yes!

-Yes, yes, yes. -Oh, my god!

-[moaning] -Oh, my god!

[deep breathing]

Yes.

Oh, my god.

Yes.

Oh, my god! Yes!

[moaning]

That's it.

Choke me.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

[gasping]

Oh, my god! Yeah! Yeah!

[Todd] Yeah.

-[Kelly] Fuck. -[Todd] Give it to me.

[Kelly] Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

[moaning and gasping]

[Kelly] Fuck!

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[moaning and gasping]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Fuck.

-Oh, my god! -Oh, my god!

Oh, my god.

Right there.

Yes.

[moaning]

-Oh, my god. -Oh, fuck, yeah!

[panting]

Oh, my god!

Oh, yes.

-Oh, fuck! -Oh, shit.

[panting]

Yes.

[gasping]

Oh, my god!

[moaning loudly]

Shit.

[Todd] Oh, shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Yeah! Oh, yeah!

[gasping]

Oh, my god, yes!

[panting]

-Oh, that's it, babe. -Oh, my god!

Right there, right there.

Yeah, yeah.

[groaning] Oh, my god!

[moaning]

Shit.

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Yes, stay down there.

-Oh, yes. -Yeah.

Oh, yes. Open that mouth.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Suck those balls.

Yes.

[moaning]

[gagging]

Oh, yes!

[gasping, groaning]

[gagging]

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit.

[moaning]

Yes.

-Oh, yes. Come here. -Yeah?

Oh, yes.

-Yeah. -Oh, shit.

Shit.

Yes, yes, yes!

Fuck!

[gasping]

Oh, my god. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

Choke me! Oh, yes! Yes!

[panting]

-Yeah. Oh, my god. -God, yes.

[panting]

[Todd groaning]

[both groaning loudly]

Oh, yes!

Oh, my god!

Yes.

Yes, come here.

[moaning]

Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

-Yes! Oh, my god. -Oh, just a second. Yes.

-Yes. Yes. -Yes.

-Oh, fuck! -Oh, my god.

Yes.

Oh, my god.

Yeah.

[moaning]

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my g--

Fuck, yes.

[both groaning loudly]

Oh, yes.

-Yes. Yes, yeah. -Yes.

Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[Kelly] Yes! Yeah! Oh, fuck!

[gasping]

[moaning]

[Kelly] Oh, my god! Yeah! Yeah!

[panting]

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Oh, yes!

Oh, yeah. Yeah!

[heavy breathing]

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

Yes, give it to me.

Give it to me.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, when are you gonna cum?

[moaning]

Fuck.

Oh, fuck, yes.

[groaning loudly]

Oh, yes.

Get down on that cock.

Yes.

Yes, that's it.

[gagging]

-[Todd] Oh, shit. -[choking]

[groaning loudly]

[Todd] Yeah.

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, fuck, yes!

[groaning]

[Todd] The fuck.

[Todd] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Fuck!

[Todd] Yes, yeah.

[Todd] Yes.

[Todd] Yes, yeah.

[chokes and coughs]

[chuckling]

[Todd] Oh, yes.

-[Todd] Oh, my god. -[Kelly] Fuck.

[moaning]

[Kelly] Oh, my god!

Yes!

[groaning]

Fuck.

Yeah!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, my god!

[Todd] Yes.

[moaning and gasping]

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[Kelly] Fuck! Yeah.

[groaning loudly]

-Fuck. -Yeah!

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, fuck!

Yeah.

[panting]

[screaming and gasping]

[Todd] God damn!

[groaning loudly]

Oh, yes!

[Kelly] Oh, my god!

[moaning and gasping]

[Kelly] Oh, my go--

[deep breathing]

[Todd] Oh, babe.

[Todd] Oh, fuck, yes!

[Todd] That's it.

[Todd] Oh, that's it.

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, fuck!

[moaning]

[deep breathing]

[Todd] Shit!

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, babe.

-[Todd] There it is. There it is! -[Kelly] Yeah?

[Kelly] Yeah.

[Kelly] Fuck!

[gasping]

[Kelly] Oh, my god, yeah!

[deep breathing]

[Todd] Oh, shit!

[moaning loudly]

[gasping]

[groaning loudly]

Oh, yes.

[moaning]

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

Oh, my god.

-Oh, yes. Oh, my god. -Fuck.

Oh, my god!

Yeah!

[panting]

Yeah. Yeah, babe!

Oh, my god, yeah!

Right there.

[groaning loudly]

Oh, put it back in, put it back in.

Fuck! Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my god!

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, my god!

[moaning]

[groaning loudly]

Fuck, yeah!

Oh, yes.

Yes.

-[Todd] Oh, my god. -Oh, my god!

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[groaning]

[moaning and gasping]

[Kelly] Fuck, yes.

[Kelly] Oh, my god! Yes, right there, right there.

[groaning loudly]

[loud moaning and gasping]

-[Todd] Oh, yes. -[Kelly] Fuck!

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

-Oh, my god. -Fuck, yeah.

Yeah.

[panting]

Oh, my god, yes.

Fuck.

[panting]

-Yeah. -[Todd] Fuck.

Fuck, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my god.

Yeah.

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, my god! Yes, yes, yes, yeah!

Fuck.

[moaning]

[panting]

[Todd] Oh, yeah.

[both groaning loudly]

[moaning and panting]

[both groaning and grunting]

Get down.

[groaning loudly]

[Kelly] Fuck, yeah!

[Todd] Give me that. Give me it.

God! Yes!

[Todd] Oh, shit.

[Todd] Shit.

[groaning loudly]

Oh, my god! Yes, yes, yeah!

[gasping, groaning loudly]

[deep breathing]

Yes, please.

Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] My god.

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Yes.

[Todd] Fuck.

[groaning]

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[gagging]

[moaning, gasping]

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Oh, fuck, yeah.

[panting]

[Todd] Oh, fuck.

[Todd] Shit.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[choking]

[moaning]

[gasping and groaning]

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[Todd] Oh, shit.

[deep breathing]

[moaning]

Fuck.

[Todd] Oh, shit.

[Todd] Oh, yes.

[moaning]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[moaning]

[groaning]

Fuck.

-Oh, that's it. Just like that. That's it. -[Kelly] Yeah?

[Todd] Oh, my god. Oh, that's good.

-[Todd] Oh, shit. -[Kelly] Oh, fuck! Yeah!

[Kelly] Fuck, yeah!

Oh, I feel you squeezing that fucking cock.

Oh, shit.

[groaning loudly]

[Kelly] Fuck, yeah!

[moaning and gasping]

[Kelly] Oh, my god!

Oh, shit.

[heavy breathing]

-Oh, shit. -[Kelly] Fuck! Yeah!

[groaning loudly]

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[moaning and panting]

-Oh, shit. Stay with me. -[Kelly] Yeah.

Yes.

[Todd] Mmm, my god.

[Todd] Shit.

-Yes. Oh, my god. -[Kelly] Yes.

[panting]

Oh, my god, yes!

[panting]

Oh, fuck!

[groaning loudly]

[moaning]

[moaning and gasping]

-Oh, my… -Oh, shit!

Yeah!

[panting]

Yeah.

Fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

-Yeah! -Oh, shit.

[moaning]

Oh, yeah.

[screaming]

Yes!

[groaning and gasping]

[groaning loudly]

Fuck, yes.

[moaning]

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[heavy breathing]

[groaning loudly]

[panting]

Oh, fuck!

Yeah!

[panting]

[moaning loudly]

Yes.

Yes.

[panting]

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

Oh, shit.

[Todd] Oh, my god.

[moaning]

Fuck.

Oh, my god, yes.

Oh, fuck!

[moaning and gasping]

[panting]

Oh, my god, yes!

Right there.

Oh, fuck!

[gasping]

-Oh, give it back. -Yes, right there.Yes! Yes!

[moaning and gasping]

-Yes! -[Todd] Fuck, yes!

[moaning]

[groaning loudly]

Oh, fuck!

[gasping]

[Todd] Oh, yeah!

Oh, my god!

[groaning loudly]

[panting]

[groaning and gasping]

[chuckling]

[Todd] Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, yes!

[moaning and gasping]

[Kelly] Fuck.

[Kelly] Yeah.

[moaning]

Fuck.

-Oh, my god. -Oh, my god.

Yeah.

[panting]

Fuck.

[gasping and moaning]

Oh, my god!

[panting]

Oh, shit.

-Shit. -Fuck, yes.

[moaning and gasping]

Yes.

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, shit.

[groaning loudly]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my god.

[panting]

God!

Yeah.

[panting]

Fuck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[moaning and gasping]

Oh, yes.

Oh, my god, yeah!

[moaning]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[deep breathing]

Oh, my god.

Oh, fuck, yeah!

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Oh, my god. I'm gonna cum.

Yes, yes!

[gasping]

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, my god.

[squeals, gasping]

Oh, I'm gonna cum, sweetie.

Give it to me. Give it to me.

Yeah, yes.

-[groaning loudly] -[moaning]

Yeah.

-Oh, fuck. -Oh, my god!

[moaning and gasping]

Yeah!

[moaning]

Oh, shit!

[panting]

Fuck.

[deep breathing]

Fuck.

You see Todd…

we were meant to be together.

We're a perfect match.

Don't you see?

[heavy breathing]

I did it.

This time I did it.

This time it's right.

Not like the other times.

[deep breathing]

[music]