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1
00:00:01,338 --> 00:00:03,209
Anyone watching thinking
we know fuck all
2
00:00:03,283 --> 00:00:07,433
about knowing fuck all about 'owt,
needs to watch their backs.
3
00:00:08,235 --> 00:00:11,674
So you've had your
Labour reclassifying skunk,
4
00:00:11,675 --> 00:00:12,798
sending prices sky-high.
5
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:17,134
Literally, literally taking
the grass from its own roots.
6
00:00:17,159 --> 00:00:19,238
And now you've got your
ConDemNation.
7
00:00:20,114 --> 00:00:24,393
Liberals noshing Tories like
altar boys picking dimps up!
8
00:00:24,394 --> 00:00:27,873
Have we had a national
fucking stroke or what?
9
00:00:27,874 --> 00:00:32,233
Is revolution a word,
or was it never?
10
00:00:32,234 --> 00:00:34,393
Anybody watching needs to know,
11
00:00:34,394 --> 00:00:37,192
we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
12
00:00:37,193 --> 00:00:40,192
Well, for fucks sake,
we live in Manchester
13
00:00:40,193 --> 00:00:43,272
and they charge us for water.
14
00:00:43,273 --> 00:00:48,832
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found.
15
00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:52,752
This green and pleasant land
in ancient times.
16
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:57,632
Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak,
yak, yak! It's not theirs any more.
17
00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,232
This is our England now!
18
00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:02,192
Paaaarty!
19
00:01:06,272 --> 00:01:09,751
'I used to go out with
this lad in my teens.
20
00:01:09,752 --> 00:01:12,231
'A real pin-up. Blonde, blue eyed.
21
00:01:12,232 --> 00:01:13,871
'Face of an angel.
22
00:01:13,872 --> 00:01:16,911
'If his timing had been better,
and his voice didn't sound like
23
00:01:16,912 --> 00:01:18,551
'a hot water bottle being trod on,
24
00:01:18,552 --> 00:01:21,671
'he could've been a contender,
given Gary and Robbie a run
for their money.
25
00:01:21,672 --> 00:01:25,550
'Certainly had the looks. The moves.
He was charm personified.
26
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:30,270
'Everyone loved him. Everyone.
But not half as much as me.
27
00:01:30,271 --> 00:01:32,910
'He was everything I'd never had
before,
28
00:01:32,911 --> 00:01:35,310
'or since, come to think of it.
29
00:01:35,311 --> 00:01:39,070
'Attentive,
considerate, generous, kind.
30
00:01:39,071 --> 00:01:41,350
'Until the night when he
didn't take no as no.'
31
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,870
No!
32
00:01:42,871 --> 00:01:47,750
'When I finally plucked up the
courage to tell... no-one believed me.
33
00:01:47,751 --> 00:01:49,550
'"He wouldn't do
something like that."
34
00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:51,749
'But he did.
35
00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:54,349
'And it taught me a
really valuable lesson.
36
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:58,909
'Sometimes,
devils come dressed as angels.
37
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,389
'And angels come dressed as devils.
38
00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:07,309
'Only problem is... sometimes
you only find out which is which
39
00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:10,230
'when it's too fuckin' late!'
40
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,987
♪ When Jesus Comes around
41
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:13,587
♪ All that's bad goes to ground.
42
00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:27,146
Love! Love!
43
00:03:31,746 --> 00:03:35,306
All I fucking need. A McCartney
to play against my Lennon.
44
00:03:37,386 --> 00:03:39,266
♪ You have the choice.
45
00:03:40,986 --> 00:03:42,826
Hallelujah!
46
00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:47,185
♪ Salvation or damnation... ♪
47
00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,586
You see, one mention of religion and
it's got us all arguing,
48
00:03:49,587 --> 00:03:52,544
while those cracked twats
are peddling their shite
49
00:03:52,545 --> 00:03:54,784
and lining their pockets
50
00:03:54,785 --> 00:03:57,464
and frightening the lives out
of the vulnerable and lonely.
51
00:03:57,465 --> 00:03:58,784
Oh, fucking hell!
52
00:03:58,785 --> 00:04:01,504
We're a non-profit making
organisation, actually.
53
00:04:01,505 --> 00:04:02,824
Oh, L. Ron Hubbard!
54
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,423
You'll have to forgive him, Father.
55
00:04:04,424 --> 00:04:06,065
I keep telling you, Mimi.
I'm not a priest.
56
00:04:06,066 --> 00:04:10,825
Just one soul wanting to spread
a little happiness to another.
57
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,185
Would you be willing to put one up?
58
00:04:14,186 --> 00:04:17,463
Anything we can do to help.
59
00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:22,224
That's good to hear.
Bless you, one and all.
60
00:04:25,384 --> 00:04:28,744
What is it you lot are on? Ritalin?
61
00:04:34,704 --> 00:04:36,023
What?
62
00:04:36,024 --> 00:04:38,982
'Scuse!
63
00:04:38,983 --> 00:04:40,582
We haven't met...
64
00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:43,062
Jesus. Jesus O'Toole.
65
00:04:43,063 --> 00:04:44,702
Religious family?
66
00:04:44,703 --> 00:04:46,782
Yeah, I was called Bernadette.
67
00:04:46,783 --> 00:04:49,782
You know, until I came out and
they realised I weren't a girl.
68
00:04:49,783 --> 00:04:53,102
I changed it by deed poll,
in honour of the boss.
69
00:04:53,103 --> 00:04:54,982
Oh!
70
00:04:54,983 --> 00:04:58,262
We had a lad called Moses in
our class when I was a kid.
71
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:01,783
But he got knocked over by a
forklift truck on work experience.
72
00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:08,301
Got another poster?
It's just for college.
73
00:05:08,302 --> 00:05:12,301
There's a few lost lambs
there, I can tell you.
74
00:05:12,302 --> 00:05:13,582
Your name's Mike?
75
00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:15,781
Mikey.
76
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,541
Mick... Micky.
77
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:18,302
Angel.
78
00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:19,981
Stop it.
79
00:05:19,982 --> 00:05:22,261
Michael was one of the archangels.
80
00:05:22,262 --> 00:05:23,821
God's hard man.
81
00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:25,781
Fighter.
82
00:05:25,782 --> 00:05:29,741
Coming to the prayer meeting?
83
00:05:32,461 --> 00:05:33,821
Yeah. OK.
84
00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:46,740
Tell your big brother next time he
wants something, not to send you.
85
00:05:46,741 --> 00:05:49,140
He needs to come in himself.
86
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:50,260
Will do.
87
00:05:50,261 --> 00:05:52,820
Call it 20.
You'll be getting me arrested.
88
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:04,700
I'll see you in court then.
89
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:25,258
Can't you do something about that?
90
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,498
Oh, back off, miserable arse.
91
00:06:27,499 --> 00:06:28,499
Can't bar them for
enjoying themselves.
92
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:31,018
Oh, I didn't mean bar them.
93
00:06:31,019 --> 00:06:32,539
I just meant burn them at the stake.
94
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:35,018
That'll shut the fuckers up.
95
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,297
Free country, Frank.
96
00:06:36,298 --> 00:06:38,579
Only if you're a Christian
Fundamentalist, apparently.
97
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:41,777
Or some other vocal minority,
like your fucking lot.
98
00:06:41,778 --> 00:06:45,697
What do you mean by that?
99
00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:50,657
Oh, you see? Someone dares criticise,
have an opinion, you're up in arms!
100
00:06:50,658 --> 00:06:52,257
Dad, shut the fuck up!
101
00:06:52,258 --> 00:06:56,377
No. You can't have a balanced
discussion, can't dare to disagree.
102
00:06:56,378 --> 00:07:00,857
Oh, sorry, but the vast majority
of folk in the free world
103
00:07:00,858 --> 00:07:03,537
don't share your point of
view vis a vis your God
104
00:07:03,538 --> 00:07:06,496
and the way his representatives on
Earth are conducting themselves.
105
00:07:06,497 --> 00:07:08,736
You're welcome to
your opinion, Frank.
106
00:07:08,737 --> 00:07:09,695
Oh, cheers.
107
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:10,655
I just don't want to hear it.
108
00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:13,095
And don't we know it. Someone
dares speak out of turn
109
00:07:13,096 --> 00:07:14,897
and you're down on them
like a ton of bricks,
110
00:07:14,898 --> 00:07:16,936
literally,
in some parts of the world.
111
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,417
That's bang out of order.
112
00:07:18,418 --> 00:07:21,976
No. Karen. Blowing yourself up and
taking folk with you
113
00:07:21,977 --> 00:07:24,016
who don't wanna go,
is bang out of order!
114
00:07:24,017 --> 00:07:26,056
You need to watch
what you're saying.
115
00:07:26,057 --> 00:07:30,456
Or what? You're going to get a Fatwa
on me, yeah? Frankie gets a Fatwa?
116
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:39,936
I'm not saying one religion
is any better than the other.
117
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:41,776
They're all shite.
118
00:07:43,256 --> 00:07:47,335
It's just a way of administering
control, pulling strings.
119
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:50,095
God's just a bogeyman!
120
00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,376
That is so offensive.
121
00:07:51,377 --> 00:07:53,814
Well, I'd rate buggering choirboys
122
00:07:53,815 --> 00:07:57,054
and abusing kids in care more
offensive, Mimi, but, hey, you know,
123
00:07:57,055 --> 00:08:00,534
one man's Sistine Chapel ceiling
is another man's floor, I suppose.
124
00:08:00,535 --> 00:08:03,574
So all Catholics bugger
choirboys, do they?
125
00:08:03,575 --> 00:08:08,455
Can't say I have. Shane?
126
00:08:14,055 --> 00:08:16,693
(CROWD CHANTING):
Go home to your wives!
127
00:08:16,694 --> 00:08:20,053
Go home to your wives!
128
00:08:20,054 --> 00:08:24,133
I've been here ages.
Say I'm the Devil Incarnate.
129
00:08:24,134 --> 00:08:25,694
I'd be insulted if I knew
what it meant.
130
00:08:25,695 --> 00:08:27,493
What's this? What you playing at?
131
00:08:27,494 --> 00:08:28,814
Just trying to raise awareness.
132
00:08:28,815 --> 00:08:31,373
Not outside my place
of work you're not!
133
00:08:31,374 --> 00:08:32,414
You're a whore.
134
00:08:32,415 --> 00:08:34,853
A little Old Testament
for my tastes, but yep.
135
00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:38,333
I thought you were
here to get everyone happy clappy,
136
00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:40,654
not interfere with the way I earn
my living, or give an opinion on it.
137
00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:44,492
Let's pray, Kelly.
Join me. Be forgiven.
138
00:08:44,493 --> 00:08:48,652
I'll be on me knees as
soon as I clock on for work
139
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,572
and you'll be flat on your back
if you don't call your bitches off.
140
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,812
I don't want
or need your forgiveness.
141
00:08:54,813 --> 00:08:58,012
It's the Almighty
you're asking to forgive.
142
00:08:58,013 --> 00:09:01,212
And be honest, you could do with
a little guidance in your life.
143
00:09:01,213 --> 00:09:03,292
No!
144
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:07,011
Tonya could've done with some, too.
145
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:11,531
With light in her life, she could
have avoided a lot of heartache.
146
00:09:11,532 --> 00:09:13,451
How the fuck do you...?
147
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,972
Move!
148
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,652
And there's plenty
more where that came from, too!
149
00:09:24,252 --> 00:09:27,851
I'm here to help, Kelly. Let me.
150
00:09:27,852 --> 00:09:28,812
What's going on?
151
00:09:28,813 --> 00:09:30,810
How do you know about our Tonya?
152
00:09:30,811 --> 00:09:32,370
How do you know about me sister?
153
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:33,571
What's happening?
154
00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:35,610
Let the love in, Kelly.
155
00:09:35,611 --> 00:09:37,770
Fuck'd you know me name?
156
00:09:37,771 --> 00:09:39,810
All right, pal. What you up to?
157
00:09:39,811 --> 00:09:41,011
Spreading the word..
158
00:09:41,012 --> 00:09:43,650
Well fucking spread it
somewhere else!
159
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,851
Jesus loves you, Shane.
160
00:09:51,651 --> 00:09:53,690
I'm praying for you.
161
00:09:57,690 --> 00:09:59,289
He knows your name.
162
00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:00,850
He knows our names!
163
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:23,609
♪ Someone's praying, Lord, kumbaya
164
00:10:24,929 --> 00:10:28,848
♪ Oh, Lord, kumbaya. ♪
165
00:10:28,849 --> 00:10:31,928
He knew things about me, my family.
166
00:10:31,929 --> 00:10:33,327
They could have asked someone
your name.
167
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:34,529
Every now and then,
168
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:38,288
you come across a holy man
with a direct link to him upstairs.
169
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:41,328
He's got those eyes, though,
hasn't he? Look right into you.
170
00:10:41,329 --> 00:10:44,327
Know your every thought.
171
00:10:44,328 --> 00:10:45,688
See right into our souls.
172
00:10:45,689 --> 00:10:48,767
Trickery, Kelly. Smoke and mirrors,
like all religions.
173
00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:51,087
Except yours, obviously.
174
00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:54,807
Fear of an all-seeing, all-knowing,
unforgiving deity
175
00:10:54,808 --> 00:10:56,927
that doesn't even exist.
176
00:10:56,928 --> 00:10:59,807
Except yours,
as previously mentioned.
177
00:10:59,808 --> 00:11:03,607
Hang on, got to admit it's been
a bit nicer since they arrived.
178
00:11:03,608 --> 00:11:05,408
Let me give you a hand.
179
00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:11,967
Kids off the street are socialising
180
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,686
instead of making nuisances
of themselves.
181
00:11:14,687 --> 00:11:16,006
Stop!
182
00:11:16,007 --> 00:11:20,086
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
183
00:11:20,087 --> 00:11:22,246
Jesus is doing no harm.
184
00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:24,126
You dropped your purse.
185
00:11:24,127 --> 00:11:25,326
Thank you.
186
00:11:25,327 --> 00:11:28,086
APPLAUSE
187
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:29,566
Well done!
188
00:11:29,567 --> 00:11:31,565
Apart from picketing my business
189
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:34,325
and threatening to expose
my clientele, you mean?
190
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:36,885
Let them fill their boots
and move on.
191
00:11:36,886 --> 00:11:40,645
How much harm are a gang of
Bible-bashers going to do us, eh?
192
00:11:40,646 --> 00:11:43,006
LAUGHTER
193
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,765
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
194
00:12:05,805 --> 00:12:09,045
You touch me, and you're dead!
I'm a Maguire!
195
00:12:09,205 --> 00:12:12,525
And when they find out what
you're doing to one of their own...
196
00:12:12,645 --> 00:12:14,605
At least I got the right one.
197
00:12:22,604 --> 00:12:24,203
Marty?!
198
00:12:24,204 --> 00:12:26,283
Me nuts!
199
00:12:26,284 --> 00:12:28,604
(LAUGHS)
200
00:12:31,964 --> 00:12:34,523
We were in Spain, paradise.
201
00:12:34,524 --> 00:12:36,643
Happiest ever.
202
00:12:36,644 --> 00:12:38,003
We had each other.
203
00:12:38,004 --> 00:12:38,964
The kids.
204
00:12:40,204 --> 00:12:41,364
So what happened?
205
00:12:41,365 --> 00:12:45,002
I couldn't give her what she wanted.
I tried.
206
00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:47,002
Had this job in Fuengirola.
207
00:12:47,003 --> 00:12:49,562
We were just scraping by,
but we were together.
208
00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:51,523
Anyway, before long...
209
00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:56,162
She found someone who could give her
what she wanted.
210
00:12:56,163 --> 00:12:58,282
She left you.
211
00:12:58,283 --> 00:12:59,842
Took my kids.
212
00:12:59,843 --> 00:13:03,643
Arsin-arsin-arsin' around behind
my back with some greasy wop!
213
00:13:04,603 --> 00:13:06,082
Wops are Italian.
214
00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,442
You were in Spain.
215
00:13:07,443 --> 00:13:11,962
They're all the same gel-wearing
tight trousered bastards.
Put the fire out! She...
216
00:13:13,642 --> 00:13:17,002
She put out the fire - desire -
that I felt for her.
217
00:13:18,522 --> 00:13:20,402
So you're back here.
218
00:13:27,522 --> 00:13:30,081
Fuck, sorry.
219
00:13:30,082 --> 00:13:32,681
Who is it?
220
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:35,280
Mum.
221
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,241
It's Carol?
222
00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:41,201
I had no idea she'd...
223
00:13:45,521 --> 00:13:49,401
You have had a shit time of it,
haven't you?
224
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,640
Look, you can't stay here.
225
00:13:53,641 --> 00:13:55,200
I'll have a word with Shane.
226
00:13:55,201 --> 00:14:00,199
It'll only be the couch,
but at least you'll be warm. Safe.
227
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,160
How about it, eh?
228
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,960
Yeah.
229
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,439
There's a prayer meeting at eight.
230
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,719
Does it look like I go
to prayer meetings?
231
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,639
Looks like you need to. There's an
Xbox on the bus. PS3. Wii.
232
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:18,878
What's your name?
233
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:20,120
Mephistopheles.
234
00:14:20,121 --> 00:14:23,759
Call him Meff for short.
235
00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:27,798
I've been sent by God to save you.
236
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:29,118
Many women bigger, wiser
237
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:31,918
and on the legal side of puberty
to you have tried to save me
238
00:14:31,919 --> 00:14:33,359
and failed spectacularly.
239
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:37,238
Vernon Francis Gallagher.
Nine children to two different women.
240
00:14:37,239 --> 00:14:40,358
Claiming disability benefits
on and off for a back condition,
241
00:14:40,359 --> 00:14:44,278
which only materialises at the same
time as the possibility of a job.
242
00:14:44,279 --> 00:14:47,637
What are you,
some sort of Lib-Dem-Tory spy?
243
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:50,837
Receiving child benefits
for almost 30 years.
244
00:14:50,838 --> 00:14:54,317
But that money's never put a meal
on the table. Clothes on their backs.
245
00:14:54,318 --> 00:14:57,237
Me and my benefits
are classified information.
246
00:14:57,238 --> 00:14:58,917
It's theft, Frank. A crime
247
00:14:58,918 --> 00:15:01,637
not only against your fellow man,
but God himself.
248
00:15:01,638 --> 00:15:03,677
I don't give a toss
about my fellow man.
249
00:15:03,678 --> 00:15:05,997
And as for God...
250
00:15:05,998 --> 00:15:07,518
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
251
00:15:08,997 --> 00:15:12,956
♪ Salvation or damnation! ♪
252
00:15:12,957 --> 00:15:14,596
Who the fuck are you?
253
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:18,716
♪ You have the choice! ♪
254
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,036
See the light!
255
00:15:20,037 --> 00:15:21,797
♪ Salvation... ♪
256
00:15:24,637 --> 00:15:25,597
Fuck that!
257
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,436
He's on his own,
258
00:15:27,437 --> 00:15:30,556
in that shitty squat
the junkies used to use.
259
00:15:30,557 --> 00:15:33,595
She only wants Marty staying here,
Veronica's brother.
260
00:15:33,596 --> 00:15:35,516
Well, we need a fuckin' arsonist.
261
00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:41,876
Mickey!
262
00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:48,596
He's got nowhere to live. Mickey!
263
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,316
I wouldn't be able to leave
a match...
264
00:15:57,236 --> 00:16:00,994
or a lighter out...
for fear of him torching the place.
265
00:16:00,995 --> 00:16:02,234
Oh, God!
266
00:16:02,235 --> 00:16:04,594
He's got a right potty mouth!
267
00:16:04,595 --> 00:16:07,234
Fuck this, fuck that,
fuck the other.
268
00:16:07,235 --> 00:16:10,114
Every other word's fuck. Or twat.
Who?
269
00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:12,954
Marty. He used to shout
"cuntflaps" at the nuns.
270
00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:15,074
Cilla would pick that up,
"cuntflaps".
271
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,954
You've got a spare room.
272
00:16:16,955 --> 00:16:17,755
No chance.
273
00:16:17,756 --> 00:16:20,194
You didn't move your lips.
274
00:16:20,195 --> 00:16:21,113
He's a liability.
275
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:21,954
KNOCK AT DOOR
276
00:16:21,955 --> 00:16:23,314
For fuck's sake!
277
00:16:26,474 --> 00:16:27,912
Are you in on this, Ches?
278
00:16:27,913 --> 00:16:29,032
Yeah, too right.
279
00:16:29,033 --> 00:16:30,314
Did you call Lillian?
280
00:16:30,315 --> 00:16:32,793
I couldn't get through.
281
00:16:32,794 --> 00:16:35,673
Mickey, you know where she is,
don't you?
282
00:16:35,674 --> 00:16:41,394
♪ ENNIO MORRICONE:
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
283
00:16:45,194 --> 00:16:49,233
ECSTATIC CRIES FROM CAR
284
00:16:49,353 --> 00:16:51,873
KNOCKING
285
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,592
If the car's a rockin',
don't come knockin'.
286
00:16:55,593 --> 00:17:00,032
I've gone mobile. I couldn't
get a punter past the God squad,
287
00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:02,593
so I've launched Feels On Wheels.
288
00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:06,472
It's an orgy!
289
00:17:06,473 --> 00:17:08,872
Didn't start like that. Two of them
290
00:17:08,873 --> 00:17:11,711
were late and then all
my appointments went crashing,
291
00:17:11,712 --> 00:17:15,431
so I thought "Oh, to hell with it",
and I chucked 'em all in at once.
292
00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:18,191
I take a 10% cut and keep film
and distribution rights.
293
00:17:18,192 --> 00:17:19,511
They're being filmed?
294
00:17:19,512 --> 00:17:23,671
Tiny cameras the size of
matchsticks. They have no clue.
295
00:17:23,672 --> 00:17:24,712
Who'd watch that?
296
00:17:24,713 --> 00:17:26,791
There's a market for chubby chasers.
297
00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:28,711
I knock out DVDs on the computer,
298
00:17:28,712 --> 00:17:31,751
take 'em down the car boot
on a Saturday. Make a mint!
299
00:17:31,752 --> 00:17:34,470
We're going to see Jesus.
300
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:39,231
I'm fucked off with the effect
his crusade's having on business.
301
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,311
Jamie!
302
00:17:41,871 --> 00:17:44,150
I'm with you in spirit, but if
there's a ruck,
303
00:17:44,151 --> 00:17:45,071
I won't be of any use.
304
00:17:45,072 --> 00:17:47,710
You're getting on a bit, so...
305
00:17:47,711 --> 00:17:51,390
No, it's the love eggs. Last time I
was involved in a tussle, I lost one.
306
00:17:51,391 --> 00:17:54,990
One of the girls had to come down and
suction it out
307
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,150
with the hose off the Dyson.
308
00:17:57,151 --> 00:17:59,030
I've just brought up a bit of sick.
309
00:17:59,031 --> 00:18:00,190
So have I.
310
00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:25,828
Get your boss out here now,
or you'll be meeting your maker
311
00:18:25,829 --> 00:18:28,428
a bit quicker
than you'd fuckin' imagined.
312
00:18:28,429 --> 00:18:31,548
You want to play it the hard way,
that's fine with us.
313
00:18:31,549 --> 00:18:34,108
Stop this, please!
For the love of God, stop.
314
00:18:34,109 --> 00:18:37,628
None of this'd be happening
if you'd come out when you were told.
315
00:18:37,629 --> 00:18:40,908
We want your pickets
removed from outside our businesses.
316
00:18:40,909 --> 00:18:43,588
There's a message to be spread,
Chesney.
317
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:46,748
Your brains'll be being spread
if you don't listen up.
318
00:18:46,749 --> 00:18:49,427
You're eating into our profits.
That's not on.
319
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:51,427
Your trade breeds misery.
320
00:18:51,428 --> 00:18:53,707
Families ripped apart.
321
00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:54,908
People have a freedom of choice.
322
00:18:54,909 --> 00:18:56,267
I can't stand idly by
323
00:18:56,268 --> 00:19:01,107
and watch men and women drown
in the very thing that you sell.
324
00:19:01,108 --> 00:19:02,827
Look at Frank - the happiness
325
00:19:02,828 --> 00:19:06,627
his children have missed out on
through his addiction.
326
00:19:06,628 --> 00:19:10,508
If you knew Frank, you'd know
his kids have had a lucky escape.
327
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,546
Call them off.
328
00:19:15,547 --> 00:19:17,746
We're here to do God's work.
329
00:19:17,747 --> 00:19:19,426
Peace and love!
330
00:19:19,427 --> 00:19:22,226
I can't call that off.
331
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,106
Can't ask it to stop.
332
00:19:24,107 --> 00:19:28,466
Well, then, you leave us no choice.
333
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,866
You can't call it off.
334
00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:32,666
But I...
335
00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:34,067
can.
336
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:47,665
So why all the cloak and dagger?
337
00:19:47,666 --> 00:19:50,946
Why jump me in the street,
why not just knock round?
338
00:19:52,186 --> 00:19:54,585
I'm on the run.
There's a warrant out.
339
00:19:54,586 --> 00:19:55,625
For?
340
00:19:55,626 --> 00:19:57,625
I didn't pay maintenance.
341
00:19:57,626 --> 00:20:01,544
I didn't have it. When she kicked
me out, I slept on the beach.
342
00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:04,064
I lost my job.
I didn't have a pot to piss in.
343
00:20:04,065 --> 00:20:06,624
Besides...
344
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,984
The fella
she moved in with was loaded.
345
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:11,744
It's not like the kids went short.
346
00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,264
What?
347
00:20:13,265 --> 00:20:15,145
You haven't swore.
348
00:20:17,985 --> 00:20:21,145
Fuck! Yeah.
349
00:20:23,505 --> 00:20:25,384
Shane doesn't want you staying.
350
00:20:27,024 --> 00:20:30,343
So I thought
the best thing we could do
351
00:20:30,344 --> 00:20:34,063
would be to make this place
as comfy as we can.
352
00:20:34,064 --> 00:20:36,863
Got a duvet cover there, too.
353
00:20:36,864 --> 00:20:38,744
Anything else you want?
354
00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:40,824
A fuck.
355
00:20:47,104 --> 00:20:49,863
Is that your Tourette's back?
356
00:20:53,303 --> 00:20:56,622
I'll ask one of the girls
to pop round. You got a type?
357
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:59,262
Er... blonde.
358
00:20:59,263 --> 00:21:01,143
About your size.
359
00:21:03,783 --> 00:21:08,343
They'll be docking my pay. Bye.
360
00:21:39,901 --> 00:21:41,381
'It's me. Leave a message.'
361
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:44,700
There's nothing going on here,
362
00:21:44,701 --> 00:21:47,260
so I'll leave it an hour or so,
then head home.
363
00:21:47,261 --> 00:21:49,900
If you're at the Jockey,
don't worry about rushing back,
364
00:21:49,901 --> 00:21:52,981
bath and bed when I get in,
I'm knackered. Have a good 'un.
365
00:21:58,381 --> 00:22:00,581
Love you.
366
00:22:07,940 --> 00:22:09,219
(SHRIEKS)
367
00:22:09,220 --> 00:22:10,579
(LAUGHS)
368
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:12,139
Hey, leave 'em on.
369
00:22:12,140 --> 00:22:14,219
Shat myself then.
370
00:22:14,220 --> 00:22:15,859
Oh, my God.
371
00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:18,299
What do you think you're doing?
372
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:20,379
(YELPS)
373
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,579
Hang on, hang on. Punchline...
374
00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:24,619
And all because...
375
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:27,098
The lady loves...
376
00:22:27,099 --> 00:22:30,578
LAUGHTER
377
00:22:30,579 --> 00:22:33,378
It's hurting.
378
00:22:33,379 --> 00:22:35,778
And I pledge to thee my purity.
379
00:22:35,779 --> 00:22:38,378
ALL: And I pledge to thee my purity.
380
00:22:38,379 --> 00:22:40,658
And I pledge to thee my faith.
381
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:42,858
ALL: And I pledge to thee my faith.
382
00:22:42,859 --> 00:22:45,538
Now and for ever. Amen.
383
00:22:45,539 --> 00:22:48,978
ALL: Now and for ever. Amen.
384
00:22:48,979 --> 00:22:51,537
All right, crisps and pop coming up.
385
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:52,738
Enjoy!
386
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:58,377
You missed it.
387
00:22:58,378 --> 00:22:59,098
The prayer session.
388
00:22:59,099 --> 00:23:00,177
I know.
389
00:23:00,178 --> 00:23:02,857
You can't just turn up
for the games, crisps and pop.
390
00:23:02,858 --> 00:23:05,176
You can't just reap the rewards.
You have to put the time in.
391
00:23:05,177 --> 00:23:06,218
It's all new to me.
392
00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:08,938
Like a big family, innit?
393
00:23:10,538 --> 00:23:12,457
I'll be on time, next time.
394
00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:14,376
Erm...
395
00:23:14,377 --> 00:23:18,216
I'm sure God wouldn't mind
me making an exception.
396
00:23:18,217 --> 00:23:20,697
Monster Munch or Nibletts?
397
00:23:29,057 --> 00:23:32,376
Your cronies are fucking up
business in the pub.
398
00:23:32,377 --> 00:23:33,656
And the shop.
399
00:23:33,657 --> 00:23:34,776
And Lillian's.
400
00:23:34,777 --> 00:23:35,897
You have to stop. Now.
401
00:23:35,898 --> 00:23:38,055
I can't.
402
00:23:38,056 --> 00:23:40,775
I wouldn't put myself
in the middle of it, Patty.
403
00:23:40,776 --> 00:23:44,575
Jesus was never afraid of a fight
and neither am I, Jamie.
404
00:23:44,576 --> 00:23:45,256
I'd sooner not do this.
405
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,815
Well, then don't.
Leave the devil behind
406
00:23:47,816 --> 00:23:50,095
and look for salvation.
Before it's too late.
407
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:53,016
I want you off the estate
this time tomorrow.
408
00:24:13,095 --> 00:24:17,494
No wonder your crew knew
all there is to know about everyone.
409
00:24:17,495 --> 00:24:19,774
The font of all knowledge, hey?
410
00:24:19,775 --> 00:24:22,174
I know how people
might redeem themselves.
411
00:24:22,175 --> 00:24:25,934
Since he shone his light,
my life is finally worth living
412
00:24:25,935 --> 00:24:27,693
and yours could be too,
413
00:24:27,694 --> 00:24:29,453
so hallelujah!
414
00:24:29,454 --> 00:24:31,253
ALL: Hallelujah!
415
00:24:31,254 --> 00:24:33,533
Join us in the light.
416
00:24:33,534 --> 00:24:37,853
And let his love illuminate
the darkest corners of your life.
417
00:24:37,854 --> 00:24:40,973
I don't really do religion,
I'm a Catholic.
418
00:24:40,974 --> 00:24:44,853
You think the Lord will forgive you
for all you've done? Beware!
419
00:24:44,854 --> 00:24:47,613
You beware. If you think
I'm going to let you and yours
420
00:24:47,614 --> 00:24:51,252
fuck up my nearest and dearest,
you're wrong.
421
00:24:51,253 --> 00:24:52,972
No-one messes with my family.
422
00:24:52,973 --> 00:24:55,652
If you think we're a pushover,
think again.
423
00:24:55,653 --> 00:24:57,772
Blow it out your arse.
424
00:24:57,773 --> 00:25:02,732
I'm New Testament, your mumbo
jumbo scaremongery's lost on me.
425
00:25:02,733 --> 00:25:05,532
You want trouble, Patty,
bring it on!
426
00:25:05,533 --> 00:25:11,653
Verily, God will visit upon you
fire and brimstone and damnation!
427
00:25:13,573 --> 00:25:16,451
The earth shall weep, Mimi.
428
00:25:16,452 --> 00:25:20,772
The earth shall weep!
429
00:25:24,292 --> 00:25:26,971
Pepperoni, madam.
430
00:25:26,972 --> 00:25:29,491
Extra basil like you asked.
431
00:25:29,492 --> 00:25:31,612
I meant on the pizza.
432
00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:35,652
Well, basil on tap. You can
have it any time you want now.
433
00:25:40,771 --> 00:25:42,770
I'm glad you're not
in a hurry to get home.
434
00:25:42,771 --> 00:25:45,571
No-one to hurry to.
Shane's out on family business.
435
00:25:47,051 --> 00:25:48,850
You mean kicking somebody's arse?
436
00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:52,450
Or telling someone they're going
to get their arse kicked.
437
00:25:52,451 --> 00:25:54,130
Not sure what he gets up to lately
438
00:25:54,131 --> 00:25:56,571
but I'm pretty sure it involves
arses and kicking.
439
00:25:57,771 --> 00:26:02,371
Can't be easy being
married to a Maguire.
440
00:26:05,210 --> 00:26:07,490
Bit of an effort lately.
441
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:13,529
All marriages go through
funny patches, eh?
442
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:14,649
Yep.
443
00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:15,290
It'll just be a funny patch.
444
00:26:15,291 --> 00:26:16,210
Yeah.
445
00:26:18,530 --> 00:26:20,330
Mam said we need to be on red alert.
446
00:26:20,331 --> 00:26:22,089
What does that mean?
447
00:26:22,090 --> 00:26:25,409
Patty's made a threat which Mam
thinks we need to take seriously.
448
00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:28,208
So there's a family pow wow
later to decide the next move.
449
00:26:28,209 --> 00:26:31,128
Hiya. What you been up to?
450
00:26:31,129 --> 00:26:35,369
Not much. Someone nearly got
their arse kicked, that's all. You?
451
00:26:37,129 --> 00:26:38,608
Been with a client.
452
00:26:38,609 --> 00:26:40,368
Can you smoke that?
453
00:26:40,369 --> 00:26:41,408
It's basil.
454
00:26:41,409 --> 00:26:42,649
You've give it a name?
455
00:26:42,650 --> 00:26:45,528
No, Micky. Everyone calls it basil.
456
00:26:45,529 --> 00:26:46,768
What's it for?
457
00:26:46,769 --> 00:26:50,088
Cooking. Stick it in a pasta,
top of pizzas.
458
00:26:50,089 --> 00:26:51,487
We're having pasta again?
459
00:26:51,488 --> 00:26:52,888
No, we're not having pasta.
460
00:26:52,889 --> 00:26:54,727
What the fuck you buy it for then?
461
00:26:54,728 --> 00:26:55,568
It's a gift.
462
00:26:55,569 --> 00:26:57,087
Some perv's buying you a plant
463
00:26:57,088 --> 00:26:59,167
as a thank you
for paying to fuck you?
464
00:26:59,168 --> 00:27:02,448
It wasn't a perv.
It was Marty.
465
00:27:13,488 --> 00:27:14,968
So he's buying you a plant?
466
00:27:14,969 --> 00:27:17,566
Shane! Punter have bought me
watches before now.
467
00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:21,086
Red roses marking the anniversary
of when they first fucked me
468
00:27:21,087 --> 00:27:24,246
and you and me, we laughed at that.
469
00:27:24,247 --> 00:27:25,606
Why's it bothering you?
470
00:27:25,607 --> 00:27:28,086
You do not buy a plant.
471
00:27:28,087 --> 00:27:31,406
We were just having a laugh. We just
got talking about stuff we liked...
472
00:27:31,407 --> 00:27:32,767
Shane!
473
00:27:34,767 --> 00:27:37,926
Shane, come on! This is stupid!
474
00:27:37,927 --> 00:27:39,167
Shane, will you...
475
00:27:39,168 --> 00:27:40,365
Fuck off.
476
00:27:40,366 --> 00:27:42,925
It's a plant. A fucking plant.
477
00:27:42,926 --> 00:27:45,726
It was a joke, a thank you,
that's all.
478
00:27:50,446 --> 00:27:51,765
Shane!
479
00:27:51,766 --> 00:27:54,006
Stop it! Shane!
480
00:27:56,686 --> 00:27:57,966
Shane, stop it.
481
00:27:57,967 --> 00:27:59,205
Shane?
482
00:27:59,206 --> 00:28:02,245
Stop it now. No! No!
483
00:28:02,246 --> 00:28:05,484
Shane! Leave it. Leave it.
484
00:28:05,485 --> 00:28:08,084
Fuck off. It's none of
your business. Fucking do one!
485
00:28:08,085 --> 00:28:09,724
Are you OK, love?
486
00:28:09,725 --> 00:28:10,764
Just leave.
487
00:28:10,765 --> 00:28:12,324
(GRUNTS)
488
00:28:12,325 --> 00:28:15,004
What the fuck are you doing?!
489
00:28:15,005 --> 00:28:17,764
Fuck's this about?!
490
00:28:17,765 --> 00:28:19,324
There's no need,
491
00:28:19,325 --> 00:28:21,604
absolutely no need!
492
00:28:21,605 --> 00:28:23,764
He stays away.
493
00:28:23,765 --> 00:28:25,684
You don't say who can and can't...
494
00:28:25,685 --> 00:28:28,524
You are my wife!
495
00:28:28,525 --> 00:28:30,883
Kelly Maguire.
496
00:28:30,884 --> 00:28:32,883
You got that?
497
00:28:32,884 --> 00:28:33,524
Maguire.
498
00:28:33,525 --> 00:28:35,284
And don't I fucking know it!
499
00:28:36,764 --> 00:28:39,204
Come on. I said come on.
500
00:28:41,804 --> 00:28:43,403
(CRIES)
501
00:28:43,404 --> 00:28:45,844
(MOANS)
502
00:28:48,684 --> 00:28:50,883
What's it like living round here?
503
00:28:50,884 --> 00:28:52,483
Better than where I used to live.
504
00:28:52,484 --> 00:28:54,762
We shouldn't even be
talking to each other.
505
00:28:54,763 --> 00:28:57,442
Being on opposing sides, you mean?
506
00:28:57,443 --> 00:29:00,562
The Maguires have asked me to find
out what your lot are planning.
507
00:29:00,563 --> 00:29:04,442
And I've been asked to find out
what the Maguires are planning.
508
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:05,722
Fuck 'em.
509
00:29:05,723 --> 00:29:07,722
Fuck 'em all.
510
00:29:07,723 --> 00:29:09,362
I'll pray for your soul.
511
00:29:09,363 --> 00:29:11,282
Don't you ever get pissed off?
512
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:14,162
I mean, um, bored,
doing this all the time?
513
00:29:14,163 --> 00:29:18,361
If I can get through to one person,
just one, it'll have been worthwhile.
514
00:29:18,362 --> 00:29:19,882
PHONE RINGS
515
00:29:23,362 --> 00:29:25,321
Yes, mate.
516
00:29:25,322 --> 00:29:27,641
Never just want a bit of fun?
517
00:29:27,642 --> 00:29:29,081
I do have fun.
518
00:29:29,082 --> 00:29:32,761
I enjoy my work, my mission.
519
00:29:32,762 --> 00:29:35,601
Look, I believe in God but
only for an hour on a Sunday.
520
00:29:35,602 --> 00:29:37,761
It hasn't taken over my whole life.
521
00:29:37,762 --> 00:29:38,842
It needs to.
522
00:29:40,082 --> 00:29:42,641
Don't you just want
a bit of excitement?
523
00:29:44,441 --> 00:29:46,120
BANG
524
00:29:46,121 --> 00:29:47,761
ALARM RINGS
525
00:30:03,481 --> 00:30:04,561
Fuck.
526
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,799
These fuckers are harder
than we thought.
527
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,319
Willing to go to any lengths
to prove their point.
528
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,120
It might not have been them.
529
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:15,840
Who else could it have been?
530
00:30:15,841 --> 00:30:19,839
I told Patty the score,
she threw down the gauntlet.
531
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,719
This is war.
532
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,079
So much for peace and goodwill, eh?
533
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:29,519
Me and my Brendan was involved
in an explosion once. 1972.
534
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,598
We were on a cruise,
celebrating us anniversary.
535
00:30:32,599 --> 00:30:35,038
Having dinner
at the Captains' table,
536
00:30:35,039 --> 00:30:37,398
when suddenly,
this God almighty bang...
537
00:30:37,399 --> 00:30:40,758
and the ship tipped.
Felt it... wham.
538
00:30:40,759 --> 00:30:44,078
And within an hour,
the whole vessel were upside down.
539
00:30:44,079 --> 00:30:45,079
We were trapped.
540
00:30:48,799 --> 00:30:51,918
That was the Poseidon Adventure.
541
00:30:51,919 --> 00:30:53,359
Did it not happen?
542
00:30:54,598 --> 00:30:58,437
So we're just going to sit here,
let 'em get away with it?
543
00:30:58,438 --> 00:31:01,597
Would you be doing this if I'd have
been blown to fuckin' pieces?
544
00:31:01,598 --> 00:31:03,197
No.
545
00:31:03,198 --> 00:31:04,797
So what do we do?
546
00:31:04,798 --> 00:31:06,397
Go round there and we nail them.
547
00:31:06,398 --> 00:31:09,277
What? You mean kill them?
Kill Jesus?
548
00:31:09,278 --> 00:31:10,078
Kill 'em all.
549
00:31:10,079 --> 00:31:11,837
We tried the gentle approach,
550
00:31:11,838 --> 00:31:13,757
and they wouldn't listen.
551
00:31:13,758 --> 00:31:16,477
Your answer to everything that,
isn't it?
552
00:31:16,478 --> 00:31:17,358
What do you suggest?
553
00:31:17,359 --> 00:31:20,396
I dunno. Anything but that.
554
00:31:20,397 --> 00:31:21,317
It's just wrong.
555
00:31:21,318 --> 00:31:22,956
It's all wrong.
556
00:31:22,957 --> 00:31:26,717
This time tomorrow, our problem
will no longer be our problem.
557
00:31:36,637 --> 00:31:40,196
Kel, Kel! Are you OK?
He didn't hit you?
558
00:31:40,197 --> 00:31:42,436
He wouldn't fucking dare.
559
00:31:42,437 --> 00:31:45,276
Don't come round again, Marty.
560
00:31:48,836 --> 00:31:49,916
Why?
561
00:31:51,116 --> 00:31:52,316
He'll kill you.
562
00:31:52,317 --> 00:31:53,995
I can't just stop seeing you.
563
00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:54,514
You're going to have to.
564
00:31:54,515 --> 00:31:55,316
I can't!
565
00:31:55,317 --> 00:31:57,155
Why the fuck not?
566
00:31:57,156 --> 00:31:58,196
Because I love ya.
567
00:32:05,956 --> 00:32:07,195
I love ya!
568
00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:16,274
You sure you're OK?
569
00:32:16,275 --> 00:32:18,274
Fine, thanks, Auntie.
570
00:32:18,275 --> 00:32:20,674
If you're agreeable,
you could stay with us.
571
00:32:20,675 --> 00:32:25,074
Come with us. Join our Crusade.
572
00:32:25,075 --> 00:32:26,275
You mean it?
573
00:32:27,595 --> 00:32:29,835
Indeed we do.
574
00:32:32,954 --> 00:32:33,993
Where's Grace?
575
00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:37,113
Upstairs, having a lie down.
576
00:32:37,114 --> 00:32:40,753
I'm off on a few messages.
577
00:32:40,754 --> 00:32:43,873
If you need anything,
just call for Jesus.
578
00:32:43,874 --> 00:32:45,674
I'll be in the office.
579
00:32:48,354 --> 00:32:52,154
THUNDER
580
00:33:06,313 --> 00:33:07,952
What you doing?
581
00:33:07,953 --> 00:33:09,633
What's it look like?
582
00:33:30,312 --> 00:33:31,992
It's upside down.
583
00:33:35,032 --> 00:33:37,192
Hey. Jesus?
584
00:33:56,231 --> 00:33:58,630
If you hadn't dragged
my husband off,
585
00:33:58,631 --> 00:34:01,750
he'd have killed that poor bastard
and be looking at a life stretch.
586
00:34:01,751 --> 00:34:03,510
So I owe you.
587
00:34:03,511 --> 00:34:04,591
My lot have had enough
588
00:34:04,592 --> 00:34:07,550
and they plan to make sure
you don't cause no more problems.
589
00:34:07,551 --> 00:34:09,829
When they realise
we pose no threat...
590
00:34:09,830 --> 00:34:11,189
Look, Jesus...
591
00:34:11,190 --> 00:34:13,869
What's your real name?
I can't keep calling you that.
592
00:34:13,870 --> 00:34:16,029
That is my real name.
593
00:34:16,030 --> 00:34:17,550
What did your mam call you?
594
00:34:18,870 --> 00:34:22,550
Fuck's sake, I'm trying
to have a serious conversation.
595
00:34:27,270 --> 00:34:28,309
Eric.
596
00:34:28,310 --> 00:34:29,990
Eric.
597
00:34:31,350 --> 00:34:32,748
Eric.
598
00:34:32,749 --> 00:34:38,228
Some folk respond well
to kindness, a soft touch.
599
00:34:38,229 --> 00:34:40,309
Jamie isn't the type of man
you want to be messing with.
600
00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:42,708
When the Romans came for Christ...
601
00:34:42,709 --> 00:34:44,789
You want to finish up
in the foundations for a flyover...
602
00:34:44,790 --> 00:34:46,149
Sit tight.
603
00:34:50,829 --> 00:34:53,188
There's something
I don't understand.
604
00:34:53,189 --> 00:34:54,749
You're a...
605
00:34:56,748 --> 00:34:57,788
good looking bloke.
606
00:34:57,789 --> 00:35:01,667
Kind, considerate, passionate.
607
00:35:01,668 --> 00:35:04,667
Your love for God
tells me that much.
608
00:35:04,668 --> 00:35:05,906
You never been tempted?
609
00:35:05,907 --> 00:35:07,108
You never been tempted?
610
00:35:07,109 --> 00:35:09,427
I pray to God to keep me pure.
611
00:35:09,428 --> 00:35:11,507
You never longed for that touch?
612
00:35:11,508 --> 00:35:12,708
That euphoria.
613
00:35:14,268 --> 00:35:15,947
Him.
614
00:35:15,948 --> 00:35:16,828
His need.
615
00:35:16,829 --> 00:35:18,188
My need.
616
00:35:20,428 --> 00:35:21,747
When we make love...
617
00:35:23,307 --> 00:35:25,946
I could almost believe in God.
618
00:35:25,947 --> 00:35:27,466
It's that good.
619
00:35:27,467 --> 00:35:28,747
It's that good.
620
00:35:32,147 --> 00:35:33,226
Don't be here.
621
00:35:33,227 --> 00:35:35,267
They're coming.
622
00:35:39,267 --> 00:35:40,546
See ya.
623
00:35:40,547 --> 00:35:41,787
Bye.
624
00:35:43,827 --> 00:35:45,626
Nice shoes, Grace.
625
00:35:49,626 --> 00:35:51,146
You'd better go.
626
00:36:27,385 --> 00:36:28,944
Arghh! What?!
627
00:36:28,945 --> 00:36:30,984
Have you heard from Libby?
628
00:36:30,985 --> 00:36:33,024
I'm the last one she'd
get in touch with!
629
00:36:33,025 --> 00:36:33,864
Where is she?
630
00:36:33,865 --> 00:36:35,304
I don't know!
631
00:36:38,864 --> 00:36:41,664
Why are you so intent
on seeing her anyway?
632
00:36:43,744 --> 00:36:45,702
She didn't say
where she was going,
633
00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:46,824
or who she was going with?
634
00:36:46,825 --> 00:36:49,263
Why would she tell me?
635
00:36:49,264 --> 00:36:51,823
She didn't leave a note for me?
636
00:36:51,824 --> 00:36:53,423
What, for her jailer?
637
00:36:53,424 --> 00:36:55,143
Her tormentor?
638
00:36:55,144 --> 00:36:56,543
I'm her mother.
639
00:36:56,544 --> 00:36:58,622
Just because you've seen the light,
640
00:36:58,623 --> 00:37:01,103
doesn't mean to say
everyone else has too.
641
00:37:13,103 --> 00:37:15,542
Go seek comfort in Jesus.
642
00:37:15,543 --> 00:37:17,262
Not the real one, obviously.
643
00:37:17,263 --> 00:37:19,502
I'm not suggesting you should
top yourself,
644
00:37:19,503 --> 00:37:22,262
but, you know, the himbo on the bus.
645
00:37:23,662 --> 00:37:28,621
I'm sure he can rustle up
a few words of comfort
646
00:37:28,622 --> 00:37:30,221
from some Epistle or another.
647
00:37:30,222 --> 00:37:32,262
You know, rattle his tambourine.
648
00:37:41,222 --> 00:37:42,621
Fuck me.
649
00:37:42,622 --> 00:37:45,182
The ice maiden melteth.
650
00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:14,619
I shed a few tears for her.
651
00:38:14,620 --> 00:38:15,900
Mostly of regret.
652
00:38:15,901 --> 00:38:18,739
You treated her like shite.
653
00:38:18,740 --> 00:38:21,019
Regret that I ever met her,
654
00:38:21,020 --> 00:38:23,939
that we ever picked up where
we left off,
655
00:38:23,940 --> 00:38:27,219
cos truth be told, there was nothing
left to pick up.
656
00:38:27,220 --> 00:38:30,019
But, I got me tea made.
Me washing done...
657
00:38:30,020 --> 00:38:31,659
A good nosh now and again.
658
00:38:31,660 --> 00:38:33,540
You bastard!
659
00:38:34,660 --> 00:38:38,698
All she needed to hear was, "I love
you", and she was on her knees.
660
00:38:38,699 --> 00:38:41,219
I've had better sex but my
shirts have never been whiter.
661
00:38:44,659 --> 00:38:48,898
I wondered when the real Patty
would resurface.
662
00:38:48,899 --> 00:38:50,779
And here she is.
663
00:38:59,099 --> 00:39:01,498
So, this is goodbye then, is it?
664
00:39:04,258 --> 00:39:06,217
I can't see any reason to stay.
665
00:39:06,218 --> 00:39:08,138
Where did you go when you left here?
666
00:39:08,139 --> 00:39:10,817
What turned you from the godless
old crone we knew
667
00:39:10,818 --> 00:39:14,057
into the God-fearing crone
now before us?
668
00:39:14,058 --> 00:39:17,017
Much like yourself,
I lived a selfish life,
669
00:39:17,018 --> 00:39:21,697
attending to my needs before even
considering the needs of others.
670
00:39:21,698 --> 00:39:25,416
And then I went back to Ireland
and, while there,
671
00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:31,056
had what I can only describe
as my Road To Damascus experience.
672
00:39:31,057 --> 00:39:34,616
Oh, so God just popped up and
showed you the error of your ways?
673
00:39:34,617 --> 00:39:36,656
Yeah? Well, I don't believe a word.
674
00:39:36,657 --> 00:39:39,936
I think little Patty clocked
the Jesus freaks and thought,
675
00:39:39,937 --> 00:39:43,856
"Bingo! Free meals and a roof over
me head for the rest of me life."
676
00:39:43,857 --> 00:39:46,296
I wouldn't expect you to believe.
677
00:39:46,297 --> 00:39:49,855
I was a lost sheep and God saved me.
678
00:39:49,856 --> 00:39:51,415
Liar.
679
00:39:51,416 --> 00:39:55,175
May He strike me down here and now
680
00:39:55,176 --> 00:39:57,656
if I tell a word of a lie.
681
00:40:53,334 --> 00:40:54,813
Matty?
682
00:40:54,814 --> 00:40:55,893
I'm going.
683
00:40:55,894 --> 00:40:56,933
Good.
684
00:40:56,934 --> 00:40:58,853
No. I mean, I'm leaving this.
685
00:40:58,854 --> 00:41:01,412
You don't have to leave this.
Just here.
686
00:41:01,413 --> 00:41:04,052
My head's full of everything
I've been missing.
687
00:41:04,053 --> 00:41:06,892
You can have it all, you know.
I think God would let you.
688
00:41:06,893 --> 00:41:10,332
How can I preach purity
when all I want to be is impure?
689
00:41:10,333 --> 00:41:14,212
Preach goodness,
when all I want to do is bad?
690
00:41:14,213 --> 00:41:17,013
I'm not worthy.
They deserve better than me.
691
00:41:19,893 --> 00:41:22,732
What you want to do, it's normal.
692
00:41:22,733 --> 00:41:24,092
It's not bad.
693
00:41:24,093 --> 00:41:26,091
But I want it to be bad.
694
00:41:26,092 --> 00:41:28,692
I want to bite the apple, Kelly.
695
00:41:34,972 --> 00:41:36,572
Thank you.
696
00:42:14,090 --> 00:42:15,369
Anyone?
697
00:42:15,370 --> 00:42:16,810
Nothing.
698
00:42:33,090 --> 00:42:35,449
See you got my present, then?
699
00:42:35,450 --> 00:42:36,570
I won't ask where it came from.
700
00:42:36,571 --> 00:42:37,768
'No, don't.'
701
00:42:37,769 --> 00:42:38,849
You got my present?
702
00:42:38,850 --> 00:42:41,528
I got it.
703
00:42:41,529 --> 00:42:46,288
Listen, next time you're saving
souls round here, come save mine.
704
00:42:46,289 --> 00:42:48,209
Bye.
705
00:42:51,969 --> 00:42:55,368
They say the damage to my spine
is irreparable.
706
00:42:55,369 --> 00:42:56,768
I'll never walk again.
707
00:42:56,769 --> 00:42:59,328
You've taken it very well,
I'll give you that.
708
00:42:59,329 --> 00:43:00,888
I've got my life back, Frank.
709
00:43:00,889 --> 00:43:02,367
What could be better?
710
00:43:02,368 --> 00:43:04,047
I don't understand.
711
00:43:04,048 --> 00:43:06,127
The police will be here any minute.
712
00:43:06,128 --> 00:43:09,767
And what I tell them
depends very much on you.
713
00:43:09,768 --> 00:43:11,887
How do you mean?
714
00:43:11,888 --> 00:43:15,207
Everyone on the estate
knows how much you hated me.
715
00:43:15,208 --> 00:43:18,288
Everyone knows how much you
wanted me out the picture.
716
00:43:19,728 --> 00:43:23,087
If you agree to have me move back,
717
00:43:23,088 --> 00:43:25,447
then I agree not to tell the police
718
00:43:25,448 --> 00:43:28,446
you pushed me down the stairs -
that you did this.
719
00:43:28,447 --> 00:43:31,326
Well, that's just gonna be my word
against... Who's gonna believe..?
720
00:43:31,327 --> 00:43:33,366
Ah! Oh, nurse!
721
00:43:33,367 --> 00:43:34,806
Oh! Nurse!
722
00:43:34,807 --> 00:43:36,326
Pain, oh!
723
00:43:36,327 --> 00:43:37,806
Oh!
724
00:43:37,807 --> 00:43:39,767
We'll have to increase
your morphine.
725
00:43:39,768 --> 00:43:42,806
I'm just going to check with
the doctor. Hang on there, Patty.
726
00:43:42,807 --> 00:43:44,167
Oh! Oh!
727
00:43:50,126 --> 00:43:53,045
Wouldn't you be better off
back on the bus,
728
00:43:53,046 --> 00:43:55,165
amongst your own kind?
729
00:43:55,166 --> 00:43:59,165
With those Bible bashing bastards?
I can't stand the feckin' sight
of them!
730
00:43:59,166 --> 00:44:01,085
I want to be amongst folk I know.
731
00:44:01,086 --> 00:44:03,845
Familiar faces, surroundings.
732
00:44:03,846 --> 00:44:05,525
I want to come home.
733
00:44:05,526 --> 00:44:09,806
And I wanted to make your life
a feckin' misery, Frank.
734
00:44:24,245 --> 00:44:27,804
'I ran into that old boyfriend
a few years ago.
735
00:44:27,805 --> 00:44:29,564
'I was out with the girls in town,
736
00:44:29,565 --> 00:44:32,164
'turned a corner and bang,
there he was.
737
00:44:32,165 --> 00:44:35,764
'No longer a possible
replacement for Robbie or Gary.
738
00:44:35,765 --> 00:44:38,245
'His face was etched with all
the wrong he'd done.
739
00:44:38,246 --> 00:44:39,803
'All the pain he'd caused.'
740
00:44:39,804 --> 00:44:40,804
Oh, they're here!
741
00:44:40,805 --> 00:44:42,883
'And, if I believed in God,
742
00:44:42,884 --> 00:44:47,123
'I'd like to think he'd had every
sin that he'd ever committed
743
00:44:47,124 --> 00:44:51,083
'scratched into his face
as a warning to others
744
00:44:51,084 --> 00:44:53,364
'to keep their distance - to beware.
745
00:44:58,604 --> 00:45:00,084
'That's if I believed in God.'
746
00:45:01,204 --> 00:45:03,962
What are you going on about?
It's a scratch card!
747
00:45:03,963 --> 00:45:06,962
(REPORTER)
Tonight, a pensioner was brutally assaulted
748
00:45:06,963 --> 00:45:08,722
in her home in Belvedere Road...
749
00:45:08,723 --> 00:45:13,202
If it gets any clearer,
I'll be topping meself.
750
00:45:13,203 --> 00:45:14,643
It's Frank's name on the line.
751
00:45:14,644 --> 00:45:16,163
Yeah, and his head.
752
00:45:17,843 --> 00:45:19,842
Don't know how you missed him!
753
00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:20,922
What the fuck?
754
00:45:20,923 --> 00:45:23,722
Forensics rustled a few new words
up for you, Frank.
755
00:45:23,723 --> 00:45:24,722
DNA.
756
00:45:24,723 --> 00:45:26,162
Positive match.
757
00:45:26,163 --> 00:45:29,081
If it was you, that'd be
us finished.
758
00:45:29,082 --> 00:45:30,202
I need Kev! Where is he?
54755
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