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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,510 Where's your dignity? 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:08,910 I'm celebrating my freedom. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,670 I thought it was about me dad. 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:11,750 I've no interest in him. 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,310 I'm going in as an out-patient, to get my meds assessed. 6 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,310 Have you been here this whole time? 7 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,870 I'm not sure. 8 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,350 Frank, my Frank! 9 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,350 I never doubted you for a second! 10 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,630 Anyone watching, thinking they know fuck all 11 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:32,630 about knowing fuck all about owt, needs to watch their back... 12 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,830 So you've had your Labour reclassifying skunk, 13 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,230 sending prices sky high... 14 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:42,150 literally, literally taking the grass from its own roots! 15 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:45,030 Now you've got your ConDemNation... 16 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,070 Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up! 17 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,950 Have we had a national fucking stroke or what? 18 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,870 Is revolution a word or was it never? 19 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,550 Anybody watching needs to know, 20 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:01,230 we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth. 21 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:05,230 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester 22 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,430 and they charge us for water! 23 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,430 I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found. 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,590 This green and pleasant land in ancient times. 25 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,590 Yak yak yak yak! 26 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,030 It's not theirs any more. 27 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,350 This is our England now. 28 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,350 Paaaarty! 29 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,110 People get confused about freedom, as a concept. 30 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,470 They think freedom concerns human rights. 31 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,630 You know, freedom of speech, freedom of expression, 32 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,150 blah, blah, fucking blah. 33 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,830 All bollocks. 34 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,830 The meaning of the word has been distorted beyond recognition, 35 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,870 sliced up like it can be quantified. 36 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,390 I'll see your freedom of assembly 37 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,390 and raise you freedom of association. 38 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,670 Queen, seven, six, yeah? 39 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,910 Now, OK, who wants a card? 40 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,070 Hit me. 41 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,510 Queen to the Chezer, Big Bullto Tab-lations. 42 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,510 'Ask any one of these muppets about freedom, and they'll tell you, 43 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:32,510 'you've no idea what it is until it's been taken from you.' 44 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,190 Three to the dealer, which was my size 45 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,230 when I came out of those bastard freezing showers earlier. 46 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,230 Who wants a card? 47 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,550 Hit me. 48 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,590 No, you... 49 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,430 No, look, you've fucking already got 20! 50 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,710 All right, I'll get to you. Fuckin'... 51 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,710 Eh, Scanlon, Scanlon, who was up front for City last night? 52 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,070 Medication time, ladies and gentlemen. 53 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:57,950 Hit me. 54 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,390 I will in a minute... 55 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,350 Scanlon! 56 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,790 Scanner... When, what? 57 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,590 I just... I... you know... take me now. 58 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,990 All right, buddy. 59 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,390 Eh, where do you think she keeps her loose change? 60 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:15,390 There, or there?! 61 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,430 Eh, come on. 62 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,910 Scanner! 63 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:25,230 He can't... 64 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,470 Excuse me, love, excuse me, love... 65 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,350 Do you think you could just turn the music down a bit, 66 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,350 so that perhaps the boys don't need to SHOUT to be heard? 67 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,830 Don't get upset, Mr Gallagher. 68 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,830 We have a lot of old people on this ward who wouldn't hear the music if we turned it lower. 69 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,110 When I'm gone, they can have it as loud as they want... 70 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:48,110 You're not going anywhere. 71 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,990 Oh, really? 72 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,830 And what part of blowing your examiner in nursing school 73 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,430 qualifies you to make that decision? 74 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,070 As it happens, the length of your stay is largely my decision. 75 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,590 I make a recommendation and the panel act on it. 76 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,110 An abusive potty-mouth is unlikely to strengthen your case. 77 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,350 Potty Mouth?! 78 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,550 Potty Mouth! 79 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,350 Am I being hospitalised in the 1950s? 80 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:16,150 Is James Robertson-Justice doing the rounds? 81 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,110 Your medication. 82 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,150 What's in it? 83 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,110 There's no need to be squeamish. 84 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,430 If you don't want to take the drugs orally, 85 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,950 we can find another way! 86 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,990 Squeamish about drugs? Me? 87 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,150 I have never been so insulted. 88 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,150 I was just trying to figure out a way how to get his and hers 89 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:37,150 and hers. 90 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,190 You were talking about sticking them pills up my arse, weren't you? 91 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,870 'Visiting is two until four, and is permitted 92 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,870 'entirely at the discretion of the clinical consultant.' 93 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:04,430 Thank you, that was just as helpful the first twice you told me. 94 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,950 My fiancee was suffering memory loss until very recently. 95 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,670 Familiar objects or faces might be of value. 96 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,670 Couldn't you make an exception, just this once? 97 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,230 'No.' 98 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,630 I want to speak to someone in charge. 99 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,830 Get me the chief... 100 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,030 psychiatrist. 101 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,190 'Yeah, that's me. 102 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,350 'I'm the chief psychiatrist. What do you want?' 103 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,750 Don't be ridiculous. 104 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,790 You're an arsehole in a crew-neck! 105 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,110 I want someone who stayed on at school beyond year nine. 106 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,110 'All right. Just a minute. 107 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,790 'Hello? Yeah, it's me, the professor. 108 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,510 'What can I do you for?' 109 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:54,510 Frank! 110 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,670 BABY CRIES 111 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,550 Can I have another one, Jay? 112 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,310 What's wrong with that one? 113 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,910 Nothing. It's just... 114 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,310 You're not missing him? 115 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:09,310 He's been gone three week and I'm only now getting his stink out me nostrils. 116 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:13,470 But? It's the one time it genuinely in't his fault. 117 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,870 And we're like "We know him better than you, Libby. 118 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,310 "He'll rob, cheat, run away." 119 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,950 In fairness, Carl, he has got previous. 120 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,150 Don't make it right, does it? 121 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,790 It's her I feel sorry for. 122 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,870 Women plan their weddings when they're little girls. 123 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,790 To wait until you're her age, until you're nearly a coffin-dodger 124 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,590 only to have it snatched away. 125 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,230 Ah well, fuck all to be done. 126 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,830 We could put it on for 'em. 127 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,190 The wedding. 128 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,790 We could organise it to say sorry. 129 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,070 No. 130 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,070 We could organise it for them. 131 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:49,070 I'll spread the word. 132 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,110 Ah, all dressed up and nowhere to go. 133 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:02,110 What a shame. 134 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,430 How did you get my number? 135 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,470 There's not much gets in my way when there's something I want. 136 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,630 That do it for him, does it, Frank? 137 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,710 The slutty librarian look? 138 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,150 It's not a look. I am a slutty librarian. 139 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,950 Except for the slutty bit. 140 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,590 You've got... 141 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:28,550 You and your cripple mother are occupying my marital home, 142 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,630 and I would very much appreciate it if you would vacate... 143 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:35,630 I don't mean to be cruel, but Frank divorced you, it's time to move on. 144 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,950 It's just all there... 145 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,830 When one is divorced, in absentia, one can contest it, 146 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,670 which I have done, and the original petitioner 147 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,670 has 28 days in which to challenge my challenge, which Frank hasn't. 148 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,070 He's in hospital. 149 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,990 How's poor little me to know that? 150 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,430 Frank's 28 days run out tomorrow, 151 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:57,190 so make sure you hand the keys over by five. 152 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,870 You've got a house. You don't need ours. 153 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,870 I know, but it's not so much about me having it... 154 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,590 it's more about you... not having it. 155 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:11,590 This has nothing to do with the house, or Liam, or Stella. 156 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,590 This is about Frank. 157 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,590 As if. 158 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,630 Watch yourself, Monica. 159 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,630 Nothing much gets in my way either. 160 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:41,270 This is my first erection since 1987. 161 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,390 Mimi? 162 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,390 Upstairs. 163 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,510 Mimi? 164 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,510 I'm in the... 165 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,390 I need your help. I have to see Frank. 166 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,870 Monica's trying to nullify the divorce. 167 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,950 Bitch. 168 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,950 Would it be all right if I wipe my arse first? 169 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:21,350 So, he went off with the other g-girl, and I never saw him again. 170 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,230 Is that why you tried to kill yourself, Carly? 171 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,750 You were ashamed? 172 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,750 I'm n-not ashamed. 173 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,670 Can you understand how it felt for your parents to have 174 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:37,670 a daughter who behaved like... well, like a slut? 175 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,910 I d-didn't do what they said. 176 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,910 Slut isn't my word, but it's the word others might use. 177 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,790 Something to add, Mr Gallagher? 178 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,910 No, nothing, fuck you very much. 179 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,910 Perhaps the group can learn from your situation. 180 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:00,230 Well, I'm always happy to oblige, you know, for the sake of the group. 181 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:05,110 OK, go ahead... Mildred. 182 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,670 Why do you think you're here, Frank? 183 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:22,150 Well, I'm here because I fight, fuck, 184 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:27,630 imbibe to excess every day in life, regular as religion, 185 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:33,430 and that scares the living shit out of dusty-cunted control freaks 186 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,910 such as your good self. 187 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,470 That close enough? 188 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:44,470 LAUGHTER 189 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,090 Point is, we are a community, and one of us needs some help. 190 00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,890 We've got 24 hours to pull together a wedding, 191 00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:01,890 and everyone is going to play their part. 192 00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:05,890 I could... 193 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:09,890 I'm fine. Thanks. 194 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,450 No, no - just try and keep up, will you? 195 00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:17,450 Superman, Spider-Man, Wizard of Oz - fictional. 196 00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,810 Barbara Windsor - real. 197 00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:23,810 'Mr Gallagher to Reception.' 198 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:28,490 Two minutes. 199 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,210 How did you...? 200 00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:50,690 I'm not allowed visitors. 201 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,330 I gave him chocolate. 202 00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,250 Is that a euphemism? 203 00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:55,490 You let him... 204 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:56,650 up the shitter? 205 00:11:56,660 --> 00:12:00,050 No, God, no. Real chocolate. 206 00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:01,130 Mimi knows everyone, 207 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:04,730 put out feelers. Turns out the head of security's a big fat fella, 208 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:08,610 do anything for a couple of airport-sized Toblerones. 209 00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:10,890 I thought you'd got cold feet. 210 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,895 Well, I had, in a manner of speaking. Not just me feet... 211 00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:14,890 the fuckers took every thread of clothing I had. 212 00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:19,490 I feel so ashamed. 213 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:23,490 I believed everything they said... that clip on the web. 214 00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:27,930 Well, to be honest, I...I'd seriously considered shagging her, 215 00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,130 just...just for the warmth. 216 00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:32,090 But I couldn't. I just couldn't. 217 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,810 Because of you, Libby. 218 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:38,690 I bought the new kitchen and joined in, 219 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:41,850 casting stones when no sin had been committed. 220 00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,890 Can you ever forgive me? 221 00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:44,850 Frank? 222 00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:46,050 Er, what? 223 00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:49,010 Sorry. Er, sorry - I just... 224 00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:49,730 Midnight Express for a minute there. 225 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,130 Monica's trying to sabotage our happiness. 226 00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:53,610 We won't let her! 227 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:56,810 We've only got 24 hours, or your divorce is annulled. 228 00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:59,050 I'm getting out. For you. 229 00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:01,770 I'll wed you, Libby Croker. 230 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,170 I love the bones of you, Frank Gallagher. 231 00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:07,210 And I love... Did you say we've got a new kitchen? 232 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:07,970 Yes. 233 00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:08,530 Yes. Time. 234 00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:11,250 Well, I hope we didn't stump for it. 235 00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:14,810 One of the very few advantages of local authority housing, that is. 236 00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:16,250 That's what council tax is for. 237 00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:18,490 Did you get the receipt? 238 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:22,490 I am coming home, Libby. Mark me. 239 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:33,690 Veil and all. It's needed. 240 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:34,810 I need netting, Lillian. 241 00:13:34,820 --> 00:13:38,610 Fine, coloured netting - yellow, pale blue, salmon pink. And ribbon. 242 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:41,810 It's a bastard getting haberdashery on short notice round here. 243 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:42,730 I might need mine. 244 00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,490 Wedding favours. 245 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,970 Bomboniere in lace and ribbon, maybe a whisky-fudge filling. 246 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:51,970 They go for five quid each in the shops, easy. 247 00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:55,050 What? Just cos I'm a bloke, 248 00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,450 I'm not allowed to appreciate a bit of decorative embroidery? 249 00:13:57,460 --> 00:14:00,050 Dresser on't landing, left-hand cupboard. 250 00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:02,650 Just take what you need. 251 00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,410 You're not doing Malcolm Talcum in there, are you? 252 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:07,250 Do I look like I work without a harness? 253 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,810 I'm baking the cake for Frank and Libby. 254 00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:10,130 You?! 255 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:14,130 Yes. There is more to me than remarkably strong pelvic floor muscles, you know. 256 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:18,730 We're out of flour. 257 00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:22,730 And this young lady wants to work with children 258 00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:27,210 and bring about world peace. This one is kind to animals. 259 00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:31,530 Overly affectionate, if you ask me. 260 00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:33,410 Can't hear you. > 261 00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:37,410 (STUTTERS) He's just a deaf and dumb Indian. 262 00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:39,250 Oh, is that right, chief, eh? 263 00:14:39,260 --> 00:14:41,610 You can't make a sound? 264 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:45,610 (MOUTHS) Eh? Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! 265 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,330 Yeah, hey, hey! 266 00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:52,330 He likes to(STUTTERS) burn stuff. 267 00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:56,010 What's with the P-P-P-Porky Pig routine? 268 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,050 You're not what's become of Gareth Gates, are you? 269 00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:01,410 You've been here three weeks. 270 00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,770 I always... (STUTTERS) ..stutter. 271 00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:06,010 Yes, well, I've been mashed off me fucking tits. 272 00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:07,730 I couldn't have counted me own testicles, 273 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:11,290 let alone told you the therapeutic speech needs of my room-mates. 274 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:14,050 So how come you're not mashed? 275 00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:17,330 Because... 276 00:15:17,340 --> 00:15:21,330 I've been doing this for the last 48 hours. 277 00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:25,170 Spit, don't swallow. 278 00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:29,170 Something me first wife lived by, more's the pity. 279 00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:35,810 Believe me, it goes against the grain. 280 00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:38,330 Outside, I'm an outspoken advocate for pharmacology 281 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:40,650 and all its liberating qualities, but in here, 282 00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:42,250 they use it to keep you down. 283 00:15:42,260 --> 00:15:46,250 And if I'm breaking out, kid... Need a clear head, know what I mean? 284 00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:51,530 Your flies are undone, chief. 285 00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:01,010 Oi! 286 00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:01,970 Feel free to roll your tongue back in. 287 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:04,410 I would if she stopped hanging her fanny in my face. 288 00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:08,410 Besides, it's bad luck for a muff to be wearing a wedding dress that's not hers. 289 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:12,610 Don't call her a muff. Besides, we don't do superstitions. We're Catholics. 290 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,730 So was Jesus. 291 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,570 Didn't stop those fuckers crucifying him. 292 00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:18,130 Jesus was a Catholic? Killed by Muslims? 293 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:22,130 No religious disputes till after the ceremony. 294 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:34,690 I need your oven. Ours is too small. 295 00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,610 Sorry. 296 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,450 Is this OK? 297 00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:39,330 Yeah. 298 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:42,090 No, it's fine. 299 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,210 You look like a hooker. 300 00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,290 Thank you, Mum. 301 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,890 A desperate, middle-aged one. 302 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:50,890 I understand couples growing apart, seven-year itch. 303 00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:55,210 I've even heard of women who so repulse their men, 304 00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:57,410 the poor fellas turn to homosexuality! 305 00:16:57,420 --> 00:17:00,330 But to drive a man insane, 306 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:04,330 to push him over the edge of reason, that's quite a talent. 307 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,010 What are you doing? 308 00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:11,010 Excuse me - I'm having a conversation with my own daughter. > 309 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:14,690 Have you seen it out there? 310 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:18,690 That lot could put on the Olympics for ten bob and two milk bottle-tops. 311 00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:21,050 Seb Coe'll be crying into his Pimm's. 312 00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:24,850 I'm really touched, Mimi. 313 00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:25,970 Frank would be, too. 314 00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:29,970 There's not one woman on the estate would've done any different, you know. 315 00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:34,130 I let him down, Mimi. 316 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:38,210 You misjudged your fella. It's not a fucking crime. 317 00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:41,210 Especially considering his previous record. 318 00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:45,210 It's all for nothing, all those good people out there. This. 319 00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:48,970 Who am I kidding? There won't be any wedding. 320 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,730 Monica wins, we lose. 321 00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:53,090 That's bollocks. 322 00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:59,170 They're never going to let him out. I don't deserve him after what I've done, 323 00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:04,450 and she's pulling the strings, like the puppet-master! 324 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:08,250 Ow! 325 00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:10,650 I'm going to tell you something my mother told me, 326 00:18:10,660 --> 00:18:14,250 and it's always stuck. 327 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:18,250 Stop moaning and feeling sorry for yourself, you whiny little bitch! 328 00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:22,290 If he matters to you so much, then get off up your arse 329 00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:26,290 and go and fetch him. 330 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:44,490 And it's not just me. 331 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,850 Taking over the asylum, are we? 332 00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:51,930 Good for you, kid. 333 00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:55,650 Now, if it's all the same, I've got a lot on me mind. 334 00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:59,650 But I thought we were g...g...g...getting out. 335 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:03,570 Yeah, well, easy said. 336 00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:04,770 Or not, in your case. 337 00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:08,770 We've got a map. Taber. 338 00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:11,730 It's...tattooed across his back. 339 00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:15,730 Fucking knew Prison Break was realistic. 340 00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:20,690 Tomorrow morning, after meds. 341 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:24,690 The orderlies go to brekkie. 342 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,090 KNOCK ON DOOR 343 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,890 Come in. 344 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,010 It's Liam. 345 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,810 He says if I'm best man I'm supposed to do a speech. 346 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:54,090 That's right. 347 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,970 I don't do speeches. 348 00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:59,290 I'm the strong, silent one. 349 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:03,290 You're a shit-stirring little fucker. 350 00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:14,370 Dunno how you can stand it here after all he did to you. 351 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,090 The place makes me want to take a nail-brush to my skin. 352 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,610 Mm. 353 00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:21,730 Sometimes think they should put serotonin in the water supply 354 00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:24,050 for these places, do us all a favour. 355 00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,610 Hm. 356 00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,370 Still... 357 00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,370 Another 24 hours and we're done, eh? 358 00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:32,250 Mm. 359 00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:34,890 I do love you, Mon. 360 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,210 Don't know what I'd do without you. 361 00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:39,650 What? 362 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,050 Oh, yeah. 363 00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:45,050 I know. 364 00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:49,050 Could I have a napkin, please? 365 00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:53,050 HORN BLASTS 366 00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,330 Fucking hell - I can't look at that. 367 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:12,730 I can't fucking get any more, mate, I tell ya. 368 00:21:12,740 --> 00:21:14,170 Go on. Pop 'em in the bag. 369 00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:18,170 They'll be put to good use on the outside. 370 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:22,850 Here you are, chief - something to remember me by when I'm famous. 371 00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:25,690 (SHOUTS) 372 00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:27,330 You can't m-m-m-make me! 373 00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:30,610 I think I can. These are prescribed for you. 374 00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:31,930 Hey! 375 00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:33,090 Is this your doing? 376 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:33,930 What? 377 00:21:33,940 --> 00:21:35,850 Carly hasn't taken her meds in nearly 24 hours. 378 00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:36,890 It's no wonder she's feeling anxious. 379 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:39,010 Well, ramming them down her throat with a clenched fist 380 00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:39,770 ain't going to calm her down any, is it? 381 00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:41,850 You're a medical practitioner now, are you? 382 00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:43,690 Something else to add to your many talents. 383 00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:44,850 I'm just... 384 00:21:44,860 --> 00:21:45,770 Just... That is not necessary. 385 00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:48,770 Take your hands off me! 386 00:21:48,780 --> 00:21:51,050 All right! Don't... Fucking ease up. 387 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:55,050 Come on, then. I'm just trying to fucking help. Fucking hell! 388 00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:17,850 BANG 389 00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:41,610 BAGPIPES BLAST 390 00:22:41,620 --> 00:22:42,010 BABY CRIES 391 00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:43,570 We're all right. 392 00:22:43,580 --> 00:22:45,610 She slept from ten-to till twenty-past. 393 00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:47,090 Carl kept us company. 394 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,890 Oh... 395 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:52,890 Right, this is what I've got. 396 00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:58,210 "Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of the bride and groom..." 397 00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,130 That's took me all night. 398 00:23:00,140 --> 00:23:04,130 If I wanted to do fucking speeches, I would've stuck in at school! 399 00:23:05,460 --> 00:23:09,450 We are fucked. 400 00:23:11,420 --> 00:23:13,770 Please. 401 00:23:13,780 --> 00:23:17,770 Can you help us? 402 00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:32,450 (SCREAMS) 403 00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:36,450 Oh... 404 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:41,490 And up. 405 00:23:42,580 --> 00:23:46,570 And relax. 406 00:23:47,580 --> 00:23:51,570 And stretch again. 407 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,970 All right, Mr Gallagher? 408 00:24:05,140 --> 00:24:08,010 The group were in the middle of exercise. 409 00:24:08,020 --> 00:24:10,690 Pardon me, I just... 410 00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:14,690 I'm supposed to have my anti-psychotics now. 411 00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:21,570 Wait there, please. 412 00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:36,130 Open the door! 413 00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:36,890 How...?! 414 00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:38,090 I've got tolerance, haven't I? 415 00:24:38,100 --> 00:24:42,090 That's how we used to get our kicks when the kitty was empty - jump leads. 416 00:24:42,260 --> 00:24:43,490 We'd better g...g... 417 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:47,490 Yeah, yeah. They'll be here by the time you've said it. Come on. Come on! 418 00:24:48,100 --> 00:24:49,610 Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Lovely. Love... 419 00:24:49,620 --> 00:24:53,010 Let me out. 420 00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:54,330 You? 421 00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:58,330 And her? And you? 422 00:25:02,180 --> 00:25:06,170 Let me ou-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ut! 423 00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:10,290 Frank. Come on. 424 00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:14,970 We've got the fucking keys, Sitting Bull. 425 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:17,810 Come on. 426 00:25:17,820 --> 00:25:21,810 Frank! 427 00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:25,810 Let me out! 428 00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:27,090 Come on! 429 00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:31,090 Let me ou-u-u-u-u-u-u-ut! 430 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,630 Lillian? 431 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,310 What the fuck is that? 432 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,870 I've improvised. Inspired by Versace. 433 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,510 No wonder he got fucking shot. 434 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,470 Haute cuisine! 435 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,470 It looks like you've sneezed a lucky bag onto a doily. 436 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,830 Right, love, let's have you. 437 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:54,990 Jamie. 438 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,990 Yes, mate. 439 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,710 CELTIC FOLK MUSIC PLAYS 440 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:15,270 Like a pig in fucking clogs! 441 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,270 It won't bind. I can't make the cake fucking bind. 442 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,390 Come on, you were doing so well. 443 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:28,110 This is the only layer I can get to bind. 444 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,590 HEAVY THUD 445 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,950 Fancy a bite? 446 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,670 Oh, easy, they're delicate, these. 447 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,030 Oh, shut the fuck up! 448 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:40,030 You're such a woman these days, I'm surprised you're not breast feeding. 449 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,590 I thought you were home? 450 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,470 I've been in there gone an hour. 451 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,310 Ate one of his flipping curries. 452 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:48,870 Nowt wrong with the cooking. 453 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,150 Maybe it's got something to do with the vodka ices 454 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,950 she was sneaking in all night. 455 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,950 Hold on, what's this about you drinking vodka ices? 456 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,110 For fuck's sake, what's wrong with you? Eat it! 457 00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:02,070 ROWDY CHATTER 458 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,390 What's this? 459 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,390 Wedding by chaos theory? 460 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:13,190 BELL RINGS 461 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,110 Right, everyone! 462 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:20,110 I think it's time we got organised. 463 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,270 Right, look, look! 464 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:30,230 It's very nice, you know, very flattering... 465 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,390 but it's like Shaun of the fucking Dead. 466 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,070 I'm very proud to be captain of the Merry Pranksters, 467 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:39,070 but you're hardly inconspicuous, are you? 468 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,790 You'll get me huckled. 469 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,190 (GROANS) 470 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,390 You'll be all right, go on. 471 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,870 Go on. 472 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,870 Go on, cowboy. 473 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,790 Cheer up, Charlie. 474 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,310 It's C... 475 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,310 Carly, yeah I know, it's just an expression. 476 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:07,430 Frank! 477 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,110 You'll be all right, love. 478 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:13,470 Just don't... 479 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,670 give yourself away for nothing. 480 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,390 I want lads to like me. 481 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,590 Sweetheart, any lad who likes you because you ride him 482 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,110 behind the pavilion is hardly likely to have your 483 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:28,110 long-term interests at heart, OK? 484 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:29,590 Can I visit you? 485 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:33,150 Yeah, course you can. 486 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,150 I've a son at home who'd be lucky to know a lass like you. 487 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,350 He'll try and shag you before you get your coat off, mind, 488 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,350 but make him wait, make him appreciate you. 489 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:07,150 Come on! 490 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,550 Fuckin' hell, help us out, will ya? 491 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:21,590 Oi! 492 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,350 Thank you. 493 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,390 Gallagher, Francis. Must be sedated. 494 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:43,390 Come on. 495 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,430 I gathered opinion. It seems you might have a point. 496 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,430 If I had to get married in that, I'd throw myself in front of a tram. 497 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,710 Which would be a slow death in Manchester. 498 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,470 Where does that leave us? 499 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,830 She could use the old dress I married in. 500 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:11,070 Ancient, but me mother, grandmother, 501 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,070 and great grandmother wore it before me. 502 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,310 Half of the battle is knowing when you're beat. 503 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,190 Truth is, I can barely toast bread. 504 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,670 A case of ambition exceeding ability. 505 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,670 So, what's this? 506 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,150 Where there's a will, Karen. 507 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,590 I'm gonna make my contribution to Libby personally. 508 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:35,590 Something more in line with my area of expertise. 509 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,470 Liam's gonna email a speech over. 510 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:42,470 You can download them off the internet. You got a printer? 511 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,630 I love it when a plan comes together. 512 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,630 Coming together... now there's a thought. 513 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:07,070 CHEERING 514 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,430 Libby! 515 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,590 You look beautiful. 516 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,470 I'm so proud of you. 517 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,470 Oh, Mum. I always knew it would be like this. 518 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,710 Thank you so much. 519 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,030 Hang on a minute. 520 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,310 You can't walk. 521 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,710 It's all too perfect, innit? 522 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,430 Of course it's a dream. 523 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,670 Perfect things don't happen to you, Libby. 524 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,670 LAUGHTER ECHOES 525 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,390 My God! 526 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,190 LOUD BANG 527 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,190 SCREAMING 528 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,230 CARIBBEAN STEEL DRUM MUSIC PLAYS 529 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,350 I think it's better than a wedding cake. 530 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:41,430 Slaved over a hot stove for these. 531 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,510 Second time lucky. 532 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:44,590 It's all good. 533 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,590 Very good. 534 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:50,430 Good choice. 535 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:54,430 Someone's coming. 536 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,990 TAPE OF BAGPIPE MUSIC PLAYS 537 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,270 Thought you might need one of these. 538 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:08,230 I had a funeral. 539 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,230 Well, they won't be going anywhere then, will they? 540 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,510 BAGPIPE TAPE PLAYS AGAIN 541 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:19,830 I made it. I made it! 542 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:20,910 Thank fuck for that. 543 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,910 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 544 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,750 Right, so where is she? 545 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:39,310 Oh, Libby? 546 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,830 Thought she was with you. 547 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,950 TAPE STOPS 548 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,270 She's probably just being fashionably late. 549 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,670 What's this? Spirit of the Blitz? 550 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,230 What have you done with her? 551 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,470 Who, the geek? 552 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:54,910 I'm surprised you're not relieved she hasn't showed. 553 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:56,870 I'm fuckin' warning you, Monica. 554 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:58,550 I haven't done anything. 555 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,510 If she's not here, then, she must've found sense. 556 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,590 One thing I will say for Chatsworth, 557 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,950 you do know how to party. 558 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,950 Did you miss me? 559 00:34:14,660 --> 00:34:18,650 Any word? 560 00:34:18,820 --> 00:34:19,890 Where is she? 561 00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:21,610 I'm not her keeper. 562 00:34:21,620 --> 00:34:25,370 Oh, but you know something. 563 00:34:25,380 --> 00:34:27,570 Tell him. 564 00:34:27,580 --> 00:34:31,570 Or I'll take Boyzone off the jukebox. 565 00:34:33,220 --> 00:34:34,650 She left before dawn. 566 00:34:34,660 --> 00:34:38,570 She might have said something about going to the nuthouse 567 00:34:38,580 --> 00:34:39,610 to fetch you out. 568 00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:41,410 Oh, fuck! 569 00:34:41,420 --> 00:34:44,090 Her phone's ringing. 570 00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:44,890 Libby? 571 00:34:44,900 --> 00:34:47,090 Libby. Is that...? 572 00:34:47,100 --> 00:34:50,250 Hello! Hello! 573 00:34:50,260 --> 00:34:52,850 Fuck! 574 00:34:52,860 --> 00:34:54,370 Do you think we should...? 575 00:34:54,380 --> 00:34:56,010 Yeah, probably. 576 00:34:56,020 --> 00:35:00,010 Frank! 577 00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:15,330 (BABY CRIES) 578 00:35:18,780 --> 00:35:21,690 (BABY CRIES) 579 00:35:21,700 --> 00:35:24,290 Did Peck and Niven have to contend with crying infants 580 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:26,210 when they stormed the Guns of Navarone? 581 00:35:26,220 --> 00:35:28,050 I couldn't leave her in the pub, could I? 582 00:35:28,060 --> 00:35:30,890 It would've been irresponsible. 583 00:35:30,900 --> 00:35:32,410 EXPLOSION 584 00:35:32,420 --> 00:35:36,410 Right, What's the plan? 585 00:35:37,100 --> 00:35:40,410 Shane and Ches - up the rear, coming in a pincer movement, 586 00:35:40,420 --> 00:35:42,210 with Jamie and Carl in the corridor. 587 00:35:42,220 --> 00:35:45,010 I'm going to parascend down through the sky-light. 588 00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:48,010 How the fuck do I know what the plan is? Do I look like I was in 'Nam? 589 00:35:48,020 --> 00:35:49,250 Well, you could've been. 590 00:35:49,260 --> 00:35:49,970 Altrincham, maybe. 591 00:35:49,980 --> 00:35:51,210 Fucking Chippenham. 592 00:35:51,220 --> 00:35:51,970 Nottingham. 593 00:35:51,980 --> 00:35:53,610 Cheltenham. 594 00:35:53,620 --> 00:35:55,290 Didsbury. 595 00:35:55,300 --> 00:35:57,970 EXPLOSION 596 00:35:57,980 --> 00:36:00,330 I'll leave the intrigue to you lot in the cheap seats. 597 00:36:00,340 --> 00:36:03,410 I'm going to get Libby. 598 00:36:03,420 --> 00:36:05,130 He's like Scott of the Antarctic or summat. 599 00:36:05,140 --> 00:36:07,930 It'll be the drugs he's on, still affecting him. 600 00:36:07,940 --> 00:36:09,930 It must be. He's completely forgotten he's an arsehole. 601 00:36:09,940 --> 00:36:13,930 Debenhams! 602 00:36:28,140 --> 00:36:30,810 Oh, you're just looking after that for them, are you? 603 00:36:30,820 --> 00:36:31,810 That why you're only taking the cash? 604 00:36:31,820 --> 00:36:33,450 That why you're only taking the cash? How dare you? 605 00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:34,610 Security will be... 606 00:36:34,620 --> 00:36:37,170 Oh, shut up! You're not dealing with fucking... 607 00:36:37,180 --> 00:36:38,570 Don't work on grown-ups, love. 608 00:36:38,580 --> 00:36:40,130 You can't have her, you know. 609 00:36:40,140 --> 00:36:43,610 Monica's moved on. She's with me now. She's happy. 610 00:36:43,620 --> 00:36:45,610 Oh, yeah, yeah. I can see that(!) 611 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:48,730 That's why she's hanging round my home, my pub, 612 00:36:48,740 --> 00:36:49,810 why she's trying to stop Libby and me getting hitched. 613 00:36:49,820 --> 00:36:51,570 She doesn't care about that. 614 00:36:51,580 --> 00:36:53,210 She's only bothered about her kids. 615 00:36:53,220 --> 00:36:54,890 Can't stand the thought of them being neglected. 616 00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:55,930 Oh, really? 617 00:36:55,940 --> 00:36:59,610 And what kids is that then, Mildred? 618 00:36:59,620 --> 00:37:01,050 Liam and Stella. 619 00:37:01,060 --> 00:37:01,890 And the others? 620 00:37:01,900 --> 00:37:03,450 What others? 621 00:37:03,460 --> 00:37:06,090 The other five. 622 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,690 Oh, yeah. Total of seven. 623 00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:11,570 The one that's in there now must have to brace itself 624 00:37:11,580 --> 00:37:15,570 against the sides when she's taking a dump! 625 00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:23,090 You stupid cow. 626 00:37:23,100 --> 00:37:24,930 She's going to ditch you and run, 627 00:37:24,940 --> 00:37:27,610 same as she's done with everyone else in her life. 628 00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:31,610 Men like you should be locked up. 629 00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:36,490 Oh... 630 00:37:37,060 --> 00:37:39,730 Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. 631 00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:41,130 Eh! 632 00:37:41,140 --> 00:37:42,650 Where is she, chief? 633 00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:44,610 Come on, tell me and I'm out of here. 634 00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:48,610 And the world's your lobster. 635 00:37:49,020 --> 00:37:51,010 When the fire alarm went off, they all bolted, 636 00:37:51,020 --> 00:37:54,210 left her in the treatment room. 637 00:37:54,220 --> 00:37:56,330 Bzzzzzz! 638 00:37:56,340 --> 00:38:00,330 She stumbled out ten minutes later, all electrodes and stuff still on. 639 00:38:01,380 --> 00:38:03,130 Phone. 640 00:38:03,140 --> 00:38:07,130 Come on. 641 00:38:09,380 --> 00:38:13,370 Ah. Knock yourself out. 642 00:38:14,340 --> 00:38:15,570 You're taking the piss! 643 00:38:15,580 --> 00:38:17,410 Frank! 644 00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:18,770 Come on. 645 00:38:18,780 --> 00:38:19,450 Libby's at The Jockey. 646 00:38:19,460 --> 00:38:20,650 What? 647 00:38:20,660 --> 00:38:22,370 There's still time. 648 00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:25,010 Have we got time for a pint? It's been a while. 649 00:38:25,020 --> 00:38:29,010 Move. 650 00:38:34,740 --> 00:38:38,730 (SOBBING) 651 00:38:40,060 --> 00:38:41,090 Frank! 652 00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:42,530 Frank, listen! 653 00:38:42,540 --> 00:38:44,410 Look, maybe it isn't about the kids. 654 00:38:44,420 --> 00:38:46,970 Maybe Esmerelda here isn't entirely wrong. 655 00:38:46,980 --> 00:38:48,090 About what? 656 00:38:48,100 --> 00:38:50,250 We've been through a lot together, eh? 657 00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:52,010 A whole lifetime together. 658 00:38:52,020 --> 00:38:53,250 Oh... 659 00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:55,090 No, it's only the finality of the divorce. 660 00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:59,090 It's made me realise that I still want to be... 661 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:02,010 No, I need to be... 662 00:39:02,020 --> 00:39:03,050 Monica Gallagher. 663 00:39:03,060 --> 00:39:06,130 She had you sectioned! 664 00:39:06,140 --> 00:39:08,650 Yeah, only because I wanted to keep you. 665 00:39:08,660 --> 00:39:12,650 It was always you, Frank. 666 00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:15,410 Yeah, well, it was Norma for a while. 667 00:39:15,420 --> 00:39:16,970 Yeah, but... 668 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:20,370 Then Nurse fucking Lobotomy in there, Ian's dad, 669 00:39:20,380 --> 00:39:23,810 the hypnotist, the bloke from the dole, 670 00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:26,810 the mechanic when we wanted a spark plug that time. 671 00:39:26,820 --> 00:39:27,970 Yeah, I know. 672 00:39:27,980 --> 00:39:31,970 I've made mistakes - we both have. 673 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:40,970 But I'm back. 674 00:39:40,980 --> 00:39:43,690 I'll always come back. 675 00:39:43,700 --> 00:39:46,650 The others don't matter. 676 00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:49,530 I know now. 677 00:39:49,540 --> 00:39:53,330 You're the one. 678 00:39:53,340 --> 00:39:57,330 Yeah... 679 00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:05,090 ..but you're not. 680 00:40:06,740 --> 00:40:10,730 She is. 681 00:40:21,140 --> 00:40:22,290 Fuck's going on? 682 00:40:22,300 --> 00:40:24,130 I knew you'd come. 683 00:40:24,140 --> 00:40:25,370 Wait! 684 00:40:25,380 --> 00:40:27,370 Wait a minute. 685 00:40:27,380 --> 00:40:28,570 Fuck's sake, Carl. What? 686 00:40:28,580 --> 00:40:30,490 Dad... 687 00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:32,250 You don't need your speech, Carl. 688 00:40:32,260 --> 00:40:34,730 They're not getting married. We had to let the priest go. 689 00:40:34,740 --> 00:40:35,450 Oh... 690 00:40:35,460 --> 00:40:36,730 It's not my speech. 691 00:40:36,740 --> 00:40:40,610 It's from Liam. 692 00:40:40,620 --> 00:40:43,170 "Carl, if you're reading this out loud, 693 00:40:43,180 --> 00:40:46,850 "it means you haven't looked at the speech I've sent you 694 00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:48,930 "till the last possible moment, 695 00:40:48,940 --> 00:40:52,450 "and so are completely unaware that this is a letter from me... 696 00:40:52,460 --> 00:40:53,650 "and not a speech." 697 00:40:53,660 --> 00:40:56,250 LAUGHTER 698 00:40:56,260 --> 00:40:59,370 Twat. I'll, erm.. I'll skip. 699 00:40:59,380 --> 00:41:01,570 "Dad, I know what you must think, 700 00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,210 "but I didn't betray you on that stag night. 701 00:41:04,220 --> 00:41:08,170 "Mum did, so she could have you locked up, 702 00:41:08,180 --> 00:41:09,770 "grab hold of me and Stella, 703 00:41:09,780 --> 00:41:12,770 "and use us to get a decent house off the council." 704 00:41:12,780 --> 00:41:14,250 You fucking what? 705 00:41:14,260 --> 00:41:18,010 Well, have you any idea how long the list is for a single woman? 706 00:41:18,020 --> 00:41:22,010 I'm with child. 707 00:41:22,420 --> 00:41:23,450 Wow. 708 00:41:23,460 --> 00:41:26,130 "But don't blame Mum. Don't hate her. 709 00:41:26,140 --> 00:41:29,970 "Life didn't deliver what Mum hoped, 710 00:41:29,980 --> 00:41:33,490 "and she's found that harder than most. 711 00:41:33,500 --> 00:41:34,930 "It's damaged her. 712 00:41:34,940 --> 00:41:38,930 "But she's my mum... 713 00:41:40,980 --> 00:41:44,970 "..and that's why I'm going to stay with her. 714 00:41:50,260 --> 00:41:54,250 "I'm going to fix her, if I can. 715 00:41:56,140 --> 00:42:00,130 "Cos if I can love her, then maybe she can love herself. 716 00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:06,650 "So Carl, you twat, 717 00:42:06,660 --> 00:42:10,650 "don't come after me. 718 00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:15,290 "It's where I want to be. 719 00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:19,290 "Love you. Good night and good luck, Liam" 720 00:42:20,580 --> 00:42:23,130 Can't half drone on, that Liam, eh? 721 00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:27,130 Thought he'd never shut up. 722 00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:41,330 You did good. 723 00:42:41,340 --> 00:42:44,010 Hear, hear. 724 00:42:44,020 --> 00:42:45,770 Shame they couldn't actually get wed after all that, though, innit? 725 00:42:45,780 --> 00:42:48,730 Kinda sweet, though. 726 00:42:48,740 --> 00:42:52,730 Do you think they're kinky-weird or just...weird? 727 00:42:54,460 --> 00:42:55,570 Do you fancy... 728 00:42:55,580 --> 00:42:56,610 Yeah, I do. 729 00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:59,210 And I have done all day, desperately. 730 00:42:59,220 --> 00:43:03,210 So much so that...I had to tape my stiffy to me belly. 731 00:43:04,940 --> 00:43:08,930 I was going to say "pakora." 732 00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:12,290 But if you want to come back to my bed... 733 00:43:12,300 --> 00:43:13,730 I do. 734 00:43:13,740 --> 00:43:17,730 Our bed. 735 00:43:17,820 --> 00:43:19,450 Now. 736 00:43:19,460 --> 00:43:23,450 I want you now. 737 00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:28,010 Is it how you imagined it? 738 00:43:28,020 --> 00:43:29,730 No. 739 00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:32,730 Not remotely. Not even a little bit. 740 00:43:32,740 --> 00:43:36,730 But...what they've done, for us, 741 00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:38,770 it's incredible. 742 00:43:38,780 --> 00:43:40,170 Yeah, you're right. 743 00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:44,170 Cos usually, they're... 744 00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:48,930 ..cunts, and I wouldn't mourn any one of them, 745 00:43:51,380 --> 00:43:54,690 but, you know, this past couple of days... 746 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:58,530 Yeah, they're all right. 747 00:43:58,540 --> 00:44:01,370 We're soulmates, Frank. 748 00:44:01,380 --> 00:44:02,970 Yeah. 749 00:44:02,980 --> 00:44:06,370 We are. It's great and all that, but... 750 00:44:06,380 --> 00:44:10,370 About this kitchen - what the fuck was wrong with the old one? 751 00:44:12,420 --> 00:44:16,410 GNARLS BARKLEY: Crazy 752 00:44:31,580 --> 00:44:35,570 'Freedom isn't quantifiable - you can't measure it. 753 00:44:36,740 --> 00:44:40,450 'It's a feeling you either have or you don't. 754 00:44:40,460 --> 00:44:44,450 'One man's straitjacket is another man's keys to the kingdom.' 755 00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:49,970 Got another job lined up for tomorrow if you're interested. 756 00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:51,530 Working for the family now. 757 00:44:51,540 --> 00:44:52,570 It's Carl's 21st. 758 00:44:52,580 --> 00:44:54,290 We need to mark it. 759 00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:55,690 You need to give it to a guy called Kermit. 760 00:44:55,700 --> 00:44:56,730 You must be Carl. 761 00:44:56,740 --> 00:44:57,570 Carl Gallagher. 762 00:44:57,580 --> 00:44:59,090 This is two-grand light! 763 00:44:59,100 --> 00:45:00,770 He hasn't been home. 764 00:45:00,780 --> 00:45:01,890 Just been talking about your lot. 765 00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:05,530 All right, all right. Calm down, calm down. 766 00:45:05,540 --> 00:45:07,410 How have you managed to run up a 500 phone bill? 767 00:45:07,420 --> 00:45:09,130 It's a gay sex line. 768 00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:12,210 Joe rented it out, got some lads to man the phones - he raked it in. 769 00:45:12,220 --> 00:45:13,650 You want to stick it up my virgin arse, don't you? 770 00:45:13,660 --> 00:45:17,650 No, I'm going to stick it on a cracker. 771 00:45:49,420 --> 00:45:53,410 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 772 00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:15,050 Gallagher, you're barred. 773 00:46:17,860 --> 00:46:19,930 Fucking Scousers. 774 00:46:19,940 --> 00:46:23,810 I knew it! 775 00:46:23,820 --> 00:46:27,810 Ooohhh, me arse. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 55161

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