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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,187 --> 00:00:05,783 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express. 2 00:00:06,867 --> 00:00:11,896 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives they were given 3 00:00:11,987 --> 00:00:14,263 by 'im upstairs... 4 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:17,737 and kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:17,826 --> 00:00:18,782 Stay away! 6 00:00:18,866 --> 00:00:22,576 What sounds on earth could ever replace 7 00:00:22,666 --> 00:00:25,465 kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:25,546 --> 00:00:28,106 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:28,186 --> 00:00:33,022 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented - 10 00:00:33,106 --> 00:00:36,736 to calm us all down, stop us going mental. 11 00:00:36,826 --> 00:00:41,218 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:41,306 --> 00:00:45,539 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:45,626 --> 00:00:47,743 You shit on our head. 14 00:00:47,826 --> 00:00:50,215 But you pay the taxes! 15 00:00:53,305 --> 00:00:56,662 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers, 16 00:00:56,745 --> 00:00:59,101 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:02,542 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:06,824 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:08,905 --> 00:01:10,783 Scatter. Party! 20 00:01:21,345 --> 00:01:23,984 LIAM: Some old fella was found dead in his bed. 21 00:01:24,064 --> 00:01:25,384 Nothing unusual in that. 22 00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:29,174 Apart from the fact he'd snuffed it at least six months previous. 23 00:01:30,944 --> 00:01:33,334 Nothing unusual in that, apart from the fact 24 00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:34,983 that he lived in a busy street 25 00:01:35,064 --> 00:01:38,341 that prides itself on Neighbourhood Watch and community spirit. 26 00:01:40,664 --> 00:01:44,943 But somewhere amongst all that bonhomie, a human being had died 27 00:01:45,024 --> 00:01:48,222 and no-one had even noticed, because they were all too busy, 28 00:01:48,304 --> 00:01:50,023 too selfish to clock it. 29 00:01:50,104 --> 00:01:52,061 All right, babes. 30 00:01:52,144 --> 00:01:55,773 What we need is for someone to shake us out of this sleep we're in, 31 00:01:55,863 --> 00:01:59,300 to remind us that we're all cogs in a big machine 32 00:01:59,383 --> 00:02:02,581 and if we don't start looking after each other, then we're doomed. 33 00:02:02,663 --> 00:02:07,783 We need someone to show us the way, set an example. 34 00:02:07,863 --> 00:02:09,900 We need a hero! 35 00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:16,382 But where are you going to find one of them around here, eh? 36 00:02:16,463 --> 00:02:20,582 Hey...the one thing I do not need when I'm in this much of a hurry 37 00:02:20,663 --> 00:02:22,700 is one of your floozies taking space in the bathroom. 38 00:02:22,783 --> 00:02:24,820 Yeah, happy 50th birthday, you miserable bastard. 39 00:02:24,903 --> 00:02:28,657 And I didn't pull a floozy last night. I'm very happy with Maxine. 40 00:02:30,102 --> 00:02:33,015 15 minutes she was in there, with her ablutions. 41 00:02:33,102 --> 00:02:37,016 I'm outside, bladder's bursting. Had to take a piss in the sink in the end. 42 00:02:37,102 --> 00:02:38,855 Why bring her here? What if Maxine finds out?! 43 00:02:38,942 --> 00:02:41,616 Finds out what, Frank? 44 00:02:42,742 --> 00:02:44,222 Oh, my dad was just asking me 45 00:02:44,302 --> 00:02:47,420 how I think you'd react if you caught me with this lady here. 46 00:02:47,502 --> 00:02:48,822 I'd rip his balls off. 47 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:53,658 I wouldn't blame you. Hey, morning, Frank. Remember me? 48 00:02:53,742 --> 00:02:55,938 Yeah, we met in The Jockey last night. 49 00:02:56,022 --> 00:02:58,981 Yeah, we had a few drinks, got chatting 50 00:02:59,062 --> 00:03:02,532 and before long, we found ourselves back here, 51 00:03:02,621 --> 00:03:05,181 one thing led to another and, er, here she is... 52 00:03:05,261 --> 00:03:08,891 We are. Isn't that right? Enjoy it? 53 00:03:11,101 --> 00:03:14,412 Fucking hell! (GROANS) 54 00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,140 Happy birthday, mate! 55 00:03:19,541 --> 00:03:24,377 None of this would've happened if I'd got my alarm clock I asked for. 56 00:03:24,461 --> 00:03:27,056 Where've you been, you selfish little shit? 57 00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:29,497 Out earning a living, so don't wag a finger at me, 58 00:03:29,581 --> 00:03:31,971 you job-shy, sponging waste of space! 59 00:03:34,061 --> 00:03:38,691 Don't talk to me like that. I've got a job, and all. I contribute! 60 00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:39,930 I've got a job. 61 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,295 Wouldn't really call it a job. 62 00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:44,179 Oh, well what would you call it, then, smartarse? 63 00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:45,853 Community service? 64 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:49,737 # My boy lollipop... # 65 00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:50,776 Come on. 66 00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:52,294 # You make my heart go giddy-up... # 67 00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:54,940 (HORN TOOTS) 68 00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,858 Nice to see you paying your debt to society, Gallagher. 69 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:05,896 (POP!) 70 00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,653 (LAUGHS) 71 00:04:15,779 --> 00:04:17,338 Not long now. 72 00:04:17,419 --> 00:04:19,058 Half of me can't wait. 73 00:04:19,139 --> 00:04:22,735 The other half don't want it to happen at all. 74 00:04:22,819 --> 00:04:24,651 They say you forget the pain, though. 75 00:04:24,739 --> 00:04:26,139 How could you forget the sensation 76 00:04:26,219 --> 00:04:29,576 of having an eight-pound bundle of flesh and bone 77 00:04:29,659 --> 00:04:31,218 trying to fight its way out your minge? 78 00:04:31,299 --> 00:04:34,770 Seven I've had. There's more scar tissue down there than fanny now. 79 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,419 I remember Paddy telling me he'd finished. 80 00:04:37,499 --> 00:04:38,979 I didn't even know he'd started. 81 00:04:39,059 --> 00:04:41,368 Like chucking a chipolata up the Mersey tunnel. 82 00:04:41,458 --> 00:04:43,814 All sense of grip gone. 83 00:04:43,898 --> 00:04:45,298 Worth it, though. 84 00:04:45,378 --> 00:04:49,167 When you've got that little bundle in your arms, it's all worth it. 85 00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:53,775 I just want it out now. I mean, two weeks overdue. 86 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:56,737 I was three weeks over carrying our Jamie. 87 00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:59,128 A few tricks you might want to try. 88 00:04:59,218 --> 00:05:02,689 Me and Paddy were at it 24/7 to try and budge him. 89 00:05:02,778 --> 00:05:03,768 Tried that. 90 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:07,257 I love you. 91 00:05:07,338 --> 00:05:09,170 God, I love you. 92 00:05:11,858 --> 00:05:13,258 Curry? 93 00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:14,657 Heartburn. 94 00:05:14,737 --> 00:05:17,013 Get a few gins down your neck. 95 00:05:17,097 --> 00:05:18,451 Might that damage the baby? 96 00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:21,132 Nah, I did it with all of mine. They turned out OK. 97 00:05:21,217 --> 00:05:25,370 - Where do you want these, Mam? - Kitchen. 98 00:05:27,777 --> 00:05:30,133 (TINNY MUSIC) 99 00:05:32,017 --> 00:05:33,610 All this is for Liam, is it? 100 00:05:33,697 --> 00:05:35,689 His birthday party tonight as well. 101 00:05:35,777 --> 00:05:37,097 Oh... 102 00:05:37,177 --> 00:05:39,897 I feel sorry for Liam having to share a birthday with you. 103 00:05:39,977 --> 00:05:42,731 He'd have been better off born with the number of the beast on his head. 104 00:05:42,817 --> 00:05:44,490 Oh, well... 105 00:05:45,577 --> 00:05:46,897 Nin! 106 00:05:46,977 --> 00:05:48,251 All right, Nin! 107 00:05:48,336 --> 00:05:52,171 How's my second favourite great-grandson? 108 00:05:52,256 --> 00:05:55,852 Yeah, I'm cool. This is my girlfriend, Max. This is Nin. 109 00:05:55,936 --> 00:05:57,290 Hiya. Fancy a brew? 110 00:05:57,376 --> 00:05:59,413 Oh, that would be lovely. 111 00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:05,410 - Happy birthday, Liam. - Nin! 112 00:06:05,496 --> 00:06:07,169 NIN: And happy birthday, Vernon. 113 00:06:07,256 --> 00:06:08,770 Oh, cheers, Nin. 114 00:06:08,856 --> 00:06:12,645 I would've been round sooner but Jonty went hypoglycaemic, 115 00:06:12,736 --> 00:06:16,047 so I've spent half the morning force-feeding him Mars bars. 116 00:06:22,335 --> 00:06:24,645 Sister. 117 00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:26,806 Thank Christ for that. 118 00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:30,366 Well, I've come round to offer my services. 119 00:06:30,455 --> 00:06:34,369 I heard Monica had popped out for a loaf again. 120 00:06:34,455 --> 00:06:36,526 Oh, I wonder where you heard that from(!) 121 00:06:36,615 --> 00:06:40,973 Thanks, love. Well, I love cooking, cleaning, ironing's a doddle, 122 00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:44,969 babies need a mother, so do young boys. 123 00:06:45,055 --> 00:06:46,887 And with Debbie in the Army now... 124 00:06:46,975 --> 00:06:49,251 I don't think that's going to work, Nin. 125 00:06:49,335 --> 00:06:51,645 It can't be easy, with Monica leaving. 126 00:06:51,735 --> 00:06:53,089 Well, we've all adapted. 127 00:06:53,175 --> 00:06:56,326 Nin could come a couple of nights a week, maybe. 128 00:06:56,414 --> 00:06:59,964 You could stay over. Liam'd bunk in Stella's room. 129 00:07:00,054 --> 00:07:03,172 Yes, you could go out for a pint, I could babysit. 130 00:07:03,254 --> 00:07:05,291 No. No, it's too much. Much too much. 131 00:07:05,374 --> 00:07:07,764 No way. 132 00:07:07,854 --> 00:07:10,494 ...hell. 133 00:07:10,574 --> 00:07:11,974 All right. 134 00:07:12,054 --> 00:07:13,773 It was just a thought. 135 00:07:13,854 --> 00:07:15,925 I've got to get off now. 136 00:07:16,014 --> 00:07:17,653 Jonty'll be needing a feed. 137 00:07:17,734 --> 00:07:19,771 Yeah... Eh, don't be a stranger. 138 00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:22,414 I'll pop round when I can. Bye, darling. 139 00:07:22,494 --> 00:07:24,611 Nice to meet ya. 140 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,651 You're welcome to come round whenever you want. 141 00:07:26,734 --> 00:07:28,087 Yeah, whenever. 142 00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:29,323 OK, bye-bye. 143 00:07:33,573 --> 00:07:36,247 - You piece of shit. - That was horrible. She's lonely. 144 00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:37,449 I'm lonely. 145 00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:39,729 You're a sociopath, she's an OAP. 146 00:07:39,813 --> 00:07:41,850 CARL: It's not always about you, you know. 147 00:07:41,933 --> 00:07:43,731 - It's not... - What about us and Liam? 148 00:07:43,813 --> 00:07:44,769 Oh. 149 00:07:44,853 --> 00:07:47,163 Nin wanted to help - we could have done with it! 150 00:07:47,253 --> 00:07:50,690 You better have remembered Liam's present. You promised him! 151 00:07:50,773 --> 00:07:52,173 Yeah, course I remembered! 152 00:07:52,253 --> 00:07:55,291 Not every day your youngest lad reaches his teens, is it? 153 00:07:55,373 --> 00:07:56,887 He's 11. 154 00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:01,244 Get off me fuckin' case! 155 00:08:01,332 --> 00:08:03,324 Get out! 156 00:08:03,732 --> 00:08:06,486 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 157 00:08:07,692 --> 00:08:12,130 Micky, any chance you can use your contacts in the underworld 158 00:08:12,212 --> 00:08:14,010 to get us one of them? 159 00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:16,527 Eight tonight, the latest? 160 00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:33,963 Cost ya. 161 00:08:34,051 --> 00:08:35,405 40 quid. 162 00:08:35,491 --> 00:08:37,130 - 45. - 35. 163 00:08:37,211 --> 00:08:39,089 Deal. 164 00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:41,322 - Go on, kids. - Liam told me about Nin. 165 00:08:41,411 --> 00:08:42,891 - Wait there. - Nice one(!) 166 00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:44,371 Just what I need - Esther Rantzen! 167 00:08:44,451 --> 00:08:47,569 All that shit you fed us about how Nin was the one that saved you 168 00:08:47,651 --> 00:08:49,324 when you were little and your mum died 169 00:08:49,411 --> 00:08:52,051 and how you were living with your bastard of a father, 170 00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,645 that was all bollocks? 171 00:08:53,731 --> 00:08:56,530 So she moves in and it's all cottage pies and starched shirts. 172 00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:58,284 But you know yourself, within weeks 173 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,125 we'll be sponging her women's bits and wiping her arse! 174 00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:05,922 I'm a single parent now, got two kids under... 175 00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:07,569 12. 176 00:09:07,650 --> 00:09:09,767 At the age of 50, I'd like a little bit of colour 177 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,443 in my otherwise monochrome life! 178 00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:15,763 Selfish! Left the upbringing of his kids to anyone that'd take 'em on, 179 00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:17,170 and I should know - I'm one of them! 180 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:19,606 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I made mistakes! 181 00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:21,363 Oh, I'm fallible! 182 00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:23,919 Let he who is without sin cast the first st... 183 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:25,967 Oh! 184 00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:29,646 Not funny son, not fuckin'... 185 00:09:29,730 --> 00:09:35,488 OK, OK, OK. Contrition you want, and contrition you shall have! 186 00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:49,285 N-o-o-o! 187 00:09:49,369 --> 00:09:51,486 (HORN BLARES) 188 00:09:51,569 --> 00:09:53,640 - Oh! - MAN: Dozy bastard! 189 00:09:53,729 --> 00:09:59,009 I shouldn't wear these things. You saved my life. 190 00:09:59,089 --> 00:10:00,603 Just doing my duty, Mrs...? 191 00:10:00,689 --> 00:10:04,319 Miss. Miss Croker. Libby Croker. 192 00:10:06,729 --> 00:10:08,561 Thank you. 193 00:10:12,169 --> 00:10:13,807 Hey... 194 00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:29,480 What you after, Lillian? 195 00:10:29,568 --> 00:10:32,037 Can't I wish a friend and neighbour all the best on his big one? 196 00:10:32,128 --> 00:10:34,324 Well, you could if I was your friend and neighbour. 197 00:10:34,408 --> 00:10:36,365 And you're getting nowhere near my big one. 198 00:10:36,448 --> 00:10:39,839 Your survival's been a combination of advanced medical science 199 00:10:39,928 --> 00:10:41,726 and sheer bloody-mindedness. 200 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,198 You can go when you've finished. 201 00:10:44,288 --> 00:10:47,883 Half a century, eh? Wish I'd had a bet on that. Imagine the odds! 202 00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:50,243 - Of what? - You still being here. 203 00:10:50,327 --> 00:10:52,558 And when it is your turn to meet your maker, 204 00:10:52,647 --> 00:10:56,277 it'll be sudden, like the flicking of a switch. 205 00:10:57,847 --> 00:11:00,157 ALL: # Happy birthday to you 206 00:11:00,247 --> 00:11:04,878 # Happy birthday to you 207 00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:07,277 # Happy birthday, dear... # 208 00:11:09,207 --> 00:11:11,767 What the fuck? 209 00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:41,884 Happy birthday, Dad. 210 00:11:41,966 --> 00:11:43,286 I'm sorry. 211 00:11:47,966 --> 00:11:49,923 Well, if you're wondering why they all left, 212 00:11:50,006 --> 00:11:52,885 I'll enlighten you. You're not worth hanging around for. 213 00:11:52,966 --> 00:11:57,676 I had something good, something special with each of these women. 214 00:11:57,765 --> 00:12:00,758 They haven't had something good with you, though, have they? 215 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,485 Cos the minute they woke up to what you were, they were gone, 216 00:12:03,565 --> 00:12:07,878 and I don't blame them, cos the minute I can get out, I will. 217 00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,638 Well, why wait? 218 00:12:21,005 --> 00:12:22,917 MISS CROKER: Libby Croker. 219 00:12:23,005 --> 00:12:24,837 Miss Croker. 220 00:12:29,844 --> 00:12:32,040 (JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS) 221 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:40,003 Could this get any better? 222 00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:42,394 I think it could. 223 00:12:50,964 --> 00:12:53,035 There's no need to apologise for your father. 224 00:12:53,124 --> 00:12:54,922 He always was a selfish little shit. 225 00:12:55,004 --> 00:12:57,564 - Just like his mother. - Was she as bad? 226 00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:00,875 Yeah, but at least she was sober. 227 00:13:00,963 --> 00:13:02,761 Well, some of the time. 228 00:13:02,843 --> 00:13:08,760 Now, you've had your birthday treat, I want you and me to have a talk. 229 00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:12,041 If it's the birds and the bees thing, it's about six weeks too late. 230 00:13:13,283 --> 00:13:16,117 You're full of promise, Liam. 231 00:13:16,203 --> 00:13:18,240 I want you to fulfil your potential. 232 00:13:18,323 --> 00:13:20,838 - Go for it. - Give me a hand. 233 00:13:20,923 --> 00:13:24,121 Someday you're going to be faced with a situation 234 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,719 where to get where you want, you have to tread on someone's head. 235 00:13:27,803 --> 00:13:30,159 And when that situation arises... 236 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,439 I know, do the right thing. 237 00:13:32,523 --> 00:13:36,596 No, none of that touchy-feely bollocks. Go for the jugular, the kill. 238 00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:41,882 - What kind of advice is that? - Good advice. Carry no passengers. 239 00:13:41,962 --> 00:13:46,991 - Bit rich, coming from you. - Jonty? I hate the fucking sight of him. 240 00:13:47,082 --> 00:13:51,838 If I'd known he was going to cabbage within six months of our marriage, 241 00:13:51,922 --> 00:13:55,313 I'd have steered well clear. 242 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:58,361 Look at him, useless. 243 00:13:58,442 --> 00:14:04,120 An endless drain on my time, energy and resources. 244 00:14:04,202 --> 00:14:06,080 Oh, you don't mean that. 245 00:14:06,161 --> 00:14:08,392 I do. 246 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,677 He'd be better off dead. 247 00:14:10,761 --> 00:14:12,434 Me and him both. 248 00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:19,237 Here. You finish up and get off home. 249 00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:24,152 (SQUELCHING) 250 00:14:24,241 --> 00:14:28,076 Oh, God. His bag's burst again. 251 00:14:28,161 --> 00:14:31,996 I'll get the bucket, you open the windows. 252 00:14:32,401 --> 00:14:34,472 (DANCE MUSIC THUMPS) 253 00:14:35,601 --> 00:14:38,275 Weirdest place you've ever done it. 254 00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:39,919 Llandudno. 255 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,037 - BOTH: Bog on a train. - Together? 256 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,715 - BOTH: No! - Back of a police bike. 257 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,513 It were parked up. Spain. 258 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,239 - What, was it a copper? - Yeah. 259 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,119 - Uniform, boots, tache? - Uh-huh. 260 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,793 Lillian, weirdest place you've ever done it? 261 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,793 Up the bum. Brendan was a bugger for it. 262 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,314 (ALL GIGGLE) 263 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,474 Jamie! 264 00:15:12,559 --> 00:15:14,676 He's at Frank's party with his ma and pa. 265 00:15:14,759 --> 00:15:16,512 Get out. 266 00:15:16,599 --> 00:15:20,912 The day of judgment looms, eh? 267 00:15:20,999 --> 00:15:22,991 Pritchard Junior's gonna pop out 268 00:15:23,079 --> 00:15:25,036 and then you've got some explaining to do, haven't you? 269 00:15:25,119 --> 00:15:28,749 - Well, I'll tell him if you want. - Get out. 270 00:15:30,359 --> 00:15:31,952 Sorry, Jamie. 271 00:15:33,559 --> 00:15:37,439 Thing is, me and your missus, we just couldn't help ourselves. 272 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:40,671 Some sort of attraction going on, and try as we might... 273 00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,072 ...we just can't fight it. 274 00:15:44,159 --> 00:15:46,195 - I love Jamie. - But you want me. 275 00:15:56,638 --> 00:15:58,755 He's reliable, 276 00:15:58,838 --> 00:16:04,152 solid, trustworthy, loyal, gentle. 277 00:16:04,238 --> 00:16:06,434 He'll make a lovely dad. 278 00:16:06,518 --> 00:16:08,635 And he bores the fuckin' arse off ya. 279 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,118 Get out! 280 00:16:10,198 --> 00:16:11,154 Ah! 281 00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:13,878 Shit! 282 00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,597 Get an ambulance! 283 00:16:17,718 --> 00:16:20,437 Oh, brilliant(!) 284 00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:24,033 Jamie's gonna love this one! 285 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,915 Big daddy's gonna miss it! 286 00:16:25,997 --> 00:16:27,067 Please! 287 00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:31,356 All these months of antenatal and birth partner classes 288 00:16:31,437 --> 00:16:34,794 and he's necking it round the Gallaghers' when the big moment comes. 289 00:16:34,877 --> 00:16:36,391 Priceless, Karen! 290 00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:40,387 (GROANS) 291 00:16:46,757 --> 00:16:48,510 Right, come here. 292 00:16:48,597 --> 00:16:51,192 Fuck off! 293 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,949 I don't want you 294 00:16:53,036 --> 00:16:54,595 anywhere near us! 295 00:16:58,596 --> 00:17:00,030 Your call. 296 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,070 Joe! 297 00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:08,669 I need you to help me. 298 00:17:08,756 --> 00:17:12,193 Being a dad was the best thing that ever happened to me. 299 00:17:12,276 --> 00:17:15,235 He used to say marrying me was the best thing that ever happened to him. 300 00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:16,955 Yeah, he'd be lying. 301 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:22,156 Just wait till the time comes, son. This surge, this wall of emotion, 302 00:17:22,236 --> 00:17:24,796 like you've never experienced before in your life. 303 00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:27,754 It'll happen the second you clap eyes on them. 304 00:17:27,835 --> 00:17:30,031 LILLIAN: It was three months before I had the courage 305 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,595 to even squint at my Rodney. 306 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,348 The midwife gasped when he came out. 307 00:17:33,435 --> 00:17:35,631 I'll just give Karen a call, see if she's OK. 308 00:17:35,715 --> 00:17:38,071 Hey, make the most of it, son, while you can. 309 00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:40,147 It'll be your last party you go to for a few years. 310 00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:42,306 Karen'd call if she needed ya. 311 00:17:46,155 --> 00:17:49,387 - No! - (CHEERING) 312 00:17:59,274 --> 00:18:01,186 Right, drop 'em! 313 00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:03,994 Where the fuck is the ambulance?! 314 00:18:04,074 --> 00:18:05,872 Come on, come on, come on, try and stay calm. 315 00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:09,948 What... What did they tell you to do in your classes? 316 00:18:10,034 --> 00:18:11,707 I'll go see where they are. 317 00:18:11,794 --> 00:18:14,468 Don't leave me! 318 00:18:16,394 --> 00:18:17,589 It's coming! 319 00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:22,711 I'm scared, Joe. 320 00:18:22,794 --> 00:18:26,265 I'm scared. I'm scared! 321 00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:34,188 This is your last chance. This is your last chance. 322 00:18:34,273 --> 00:18:38,187 You say the word and we disappear. You, me, and baby. 323 00:18:38,273 --> 00:18:41,072 We get away from this place, get away from them. 324 00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:43,304 You deserve better than this, Karen, and you know it! 325 00:18:51,793 --> 00:18:53,910 Jamie! 326 00:18:53,993 --> 00:18:58,465 (GROANS) 327 00:19:05,392 --> 00:19:06,667 What the fuck? 328 00:19:17,632 --> 00:19:18,827 Meet your son. 329 00:19:37,752 --> 00:19:40,471 Joe. 330 00:19:40,551 --> 00:19:41,985 Thank you. 331 00:19:45,431 --> 00:19:47,502 Oh, my God, he's beautiful. 332 00:19:47,591 --> 00:19:50,106 (BABY GURGLES) 333 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:05,900 Where's Stella? 334 00:20:05,991 --> 00:20:09,143 I'm not her father. I'm the 11-year-old kid, remember? 335 00:20:09,231 --> 00:20:11,825 - Well, when did you last have her? - Kelly's got her. 336 00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:16,862 Eh? 337 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,943 Happy belated birthday. 338 00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:21,066 There's mud on the wheels. 339 00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:25,110 Yeah, I had to ride it. Delivery van broke down. 340 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:29,389 All right, it's knock-off. But if you scratch off the serial number 341 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,304 and give it a re-spray, it'll be as good as new. 342 00:20:32,390 --> 00:20:33,870 How can I afford a new one? 343 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:36,465 Do what every other parent around here does. Catalogue, borrow, 344 00:20:36,550 --> 00:20:39,622 - could even try getting a job. - I've got a... 345 00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,781 - It's community... - ...fuckin' service, yeah. 346 00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:43,827 - Do you want this or what? - Yeah. 347 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,788 Yeah, well, "Thank you, Dad." 348 00:20:48,389 --> 00:20:49,789 What's in for breakfast? 349 00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:51,462 I've had mine. 350 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:14,586 Byron. Mad, bad and dangerous to know. 351 00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:20,343 Good to see you again. You all right? 352 00:21:20,428 --> 00:21:24,468 There aren't enough men like you in the world. 353 00:21:24,548 --> 00:21:27,586 Your wife's a very lucky lady. 354 00:21:27,668 --> 00:21:32,379 She's dead. Dead... Dead...impressed. 355 00:21:32,468 --> 00:21:34,425 Well, she was, when we were together. 356 00:21:34,508 --> 00:21:35,624 Torn asunder. 357 00:21:35,708 --> 00:21:37,461 Buggered off, yeah. 358 00:21:45,108 --> 00:21:47,065 Not seen you in here before. 359 00:21:47,148 --> 00:21:50,300 Well, I'm just, um... helping me son with his revision. 360 00:21:50,388 --> 00:21:53,380 Getting a few research books, you know. 361 00:21:53,467 --> 00:21:56,027 I'd tell your son to make the most of this place. 362 00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:58,622 Might not be here much longer if local government get their way. 363 00:21:58,707 --> 00:22:00,744 Oh. 364 00:22:00,827 --> 00:22:05,299 Well, get most stuff online now, though, eh? 365 00:22:05,387 --> 00:22:06,582 That's no substitute for books. 366 00:22:09,107 --> 00:22:15,741 Opening, inviting you to turn, explore, experience. Virginal. 367 00:22:15,827 --> 00:22:17,705 Never forget a good one, do you? 368 00:22:17,787 --> 00:22:21,827 The majority of the internet's used for porn, did you know that? 369 00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:25,502 People would rather watch other people making love than make love themselves, 370 00:22:25,586 --> 00:22:28,658 experience all that life has to offer via a third party. 371 00:22:28,746 --> 00:22:31,420 Anything to stop them engaging. 372 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:35,745 You're not one of them, are you? 373 00:22:35,826 --> 00:22:38,261 Frank. 374 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:44,622 Are you a doer or a watcher, Francis? 375 00:22:44,706 --> 00:22:48,017 A doer, definitely. Always doing, me. 376 00:22:48,106 --> 00:22:51,497 Do you like to feel the paper, Frank? 377 00:22:52,906 --> 00:22:56,661 Are you a page turner or a mouse scroller? 378 00:22:56,746 --> 00:23:00,216 Well, let me show you. What you doing tonight? 379 00:23:00,305 --> 00:23:02,422 Tonight's an empty page. 380 00:23:02,505 --> 00:23:04,895 I've got a cracking quill. Plenty of ink. 381 00:23:04,985 --> 00:23:07,784 This lady doesn't surrender her favours so easily. 382 00:23:10,145 --> 00:23:13,183 Thrill of the chase, eh? 383 00:23:13,265 --> 00:23:16,144 You try to pass yourself off as a man of integrity, 384 00:23:16,225 --> 00:23:18,421 but for all I know, you might be a charlatan. 385 00:23:18,505 --> 00:23:20,895 Oh, heaven forfend. 386 00:23:20,985 --> 00:23:24,103 So, prove yourself... 387 00:23:29,745 --> 00:23:31,144 ...Frank. 388 00:23:37,744 --> 00:23:40,020 Down. Down. Down. 389 00:23:41,864 --> 00:23:43,617 Thank you all so much. 390 00:23:43,704 --> 00:23:45,855 It's great, cheers. 391 00:23:45,944 --> 00:23:47,219 Where did you get it from? 392 00:23:51,824 --> 00:23:54,498 Here and there. 393 00:23:54,584 --> 00:23:57,099 We're wetting the baby's head tonight, if you're up for it? 394 00:23:57,184 --> 00:24:00,416 - We'll see how we go, eh? - I'll be there. 395 00:24:00,504 --> 00:24:01,824 Maybe you should get some rest. 396 00:24:01,904 --> 00:24:04,418 And maybe you should stop telling me what I can and can't do. 397 00:24:04,503 --> 00:24:07,780 If I can't celebrate him coming into the world, who can? 398 00:24:09,943 --> 00:24:13,220 - I just came to drop a present off. - Cheers. 399 00:24:17,063 --> 00:24:21,182 There's a party later to celebrate the arrival of the little fella. 400 00:24:21,263 --> 00:24:23,937 You'll be there. 401 00:24:24,023 --> 00:24:25,423 I don't know, Paddy, uh... 402 00:24:25,503 --> 00:24:29,417 I do. You brought my grandson into the world safe and sound. 403 00:24:29,503 --> 00:24:33,497 Who knows what might've happened if you hadn't been there? 404 00:24:34,623 --> 00:24:35,579 Sure. 405 00:24:35,663 --> 00:24:37,256 Cheers, mate. I'll be there. 406 00:24:41,742 --> 00:24:44,382 OK, everybody, and before our star turn, 407 00:24:44,462 --> 00:24:48,297 we can announce the winner of the guess the weight competition. 408 00:24:50,742 --> 00:24:54,782 - It's Micky Maguire. - Yes! In your face! 409 00:24:54,862 --> 00:24:59,300 Seven pound, four ounces. Well done. 410 00:24:59,382 --> 00:25:02,739 There's your 50 quid. 411 00:25:02,822 --> 00:25:05,337 (APPLAUSE) 412 00:25:57,780 --> 00:26:01,251 - That's exactly the reaction I was after. - Don't know what you mean. 413 00:26:01,340 --> 00:26:03,377 You were out after me in less than a minute. 414 00:26:03,460 --> 00:26:05,850 Don't flatter yourself. 415 00:26:12,220 --> 00:26:17,613 Karen? Come on, just about to do the toast. 416 00:26:24,859 --> 00:26:26,373 To our son. 417 00:26:26,459 --> 00:26:28,849 Connor Joseph Maguire. 418 00:26:28,939 --> 00:26:31,135 ALL: Connor Joseph Maguire! 419 00:26:31,219 --> 00:26:33,814 Connor...Joseph Maguire. 420 00:26:33,899 --> 00:26:36,733 (# SHANE MACGOWAN & THE POPES: Donegal Express) 421 00:26:48,619 --> 00:26:50,099 - Nin rang. - Hey, what the fuck?! 422 00:26:50,178 --> 00:26:53,057 - She wants to see you. - Well, I don't want to see her. 423 00:26:53,138 --> 00:26:55,050 She asked me to bring ya, 424 00:26:55,138 --> 00:26:56,777 and I'm bringing ya. 425 00:26:56,858 --> 00:26:59,134 All right. Liam, Liam, wait, wait, wait. 426 00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:01,414 Look, I can't stand it over there. 427 00:27:01,498 --> 00:27:04,013 The sight of Jonty makes me fucking heave 428 00:27:04,098 --> 00:27:06,010 and there's this, like, this smell... 429 00:27:06,098 --> 00:27:08,055 She's giving me a lecture on how to succeed in life, 430 00:27:08,138 --> 00:27:10,334 and I've got to sit there listening to that. 431 00:27:10,418 --> 00:27:12,216 If I've got to suffer, so have you. 432 00:27:12,298 --> 00:27:16,008 - I've got a date, I'm on a promise. - She can wait. 433 00:27:16,098 --> 00:27:17,214 Fuck! 434 00:27:19,218 --> 00:27:21,687 I was hasty when I saw you last time, 435 00:27:21,778 --> 00:27:25,293 unfeeling, and for that, I apologise. 436 00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:27,653 I just... Oh, it was like... 437 00:27:27,737 --> 00:27:31,367 me whole life was crashing in around me. 438 00:27:31,457 --> 00:27:33,494 I'm not interested in your sob stories, Vernon. 439 00:27:33,577 --> 00:27:36,968 Nothing you can say I haven't heard before. 440 00:27:37,057 --> 00:27:40,016 No, but life's on the up now, Nin. 441 00:27:40,097 --> 00:27:41,292 Yeah! 442 00:27:44,377 --> 00:27:46,130 I met someone. 443 00:27:46,217 --> 00:27:49,494 Someone special, you know, decent, 444 00:27:49,577 --> 00:27:53,048 and she makes me feel like I want to change, 445 00:27:53,137 --> 00:27:54,617 be a better man, you know? 446 00:27:54,697 --> 00:27:56,529 Has he dropped any Es lately? 447 00:27:56,617 --> 00:27:59,450 Clean as a whistle. Got a date later. 448 00:28:02,056 --> 00:28:03,570 Pass me my bag, will you, Liam? 449 00:28:05,736 --> 00:28:07,329 Ta. 450 00:28:07,416 --> 00:28:10,011 So...you think she's the one, eh? 451 00:28:10,096 --> 00:28:11,655 She's one of the ones. 452 00:28:11,736 --> 00:28:14,968 I have never felt this way before. I feel younger. 453 00:28:15,056 --> 00:28:17,696 You know, optimistic. 454 00:28:17,776 --> 00:28:20,848 Energised. Positive. You know? 455 00:28:20,936 --> 00:28:23,770 Take her somewhere special. 456 00:28:23,856 --> 00:28:26,132 Go on. 457 00:28:28,776 --> 00:28:30,175 Cheers, Nin. I will. 458 00:28:30,255 --> 00:28:33,851 Liam, get me a glass of water, will you? 459 00:28:33,935 --> 00:28:37,246 And the tablets on my bedside table. 460 00:28:37,335 --> 00:28:39,531 Thank you so much for this, Nin. 461 00:28:39,615 --> 00:28:41,254 Think of the cash as payment. 462 00:28:41,335 --> 00:28:43,088 For what? 463 00:28:43,175 --> 00:28:44,450 For being my witness. 464 00:28:47,095 --> 00:28:51,009 Fucking hell! No! No! 465 00:28:51,095 --> 00:28:56,648 They're gonna ask who did it, and you're gonna tell 'em it was me. 466 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,169 You just... 467 00:29:00,575 --> 00:29:04,727 Fucking selfish...or what?! I'm gonna be late for Libby now. 468 00:29:07,054 --> 00:29:08,454 Is Liam OK? 469 00:29:08,534 --> 00:29:12,244 He's ten, for God's sake. He shouldn't be here. 470 00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:14,166 He's fine. And he's 11. 471 00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:18,168 - I need to see him, check he's OK. - You're going nowhere. 472 00:29:18,254 --> 00:29:20,291 Look, I've been through a nightmare here. 473 00:29:20,374 --> 00:29:21,967 My son... 474 00:29:22,054 --> 00:29:26,810 my te...eleven-year-old son has seen things no kid should see. 475 00:29:26,894 --> 00:29:30,012 You're expecting us to believe that a frail old lady in her 80s 476 00:29:30,094 --> 00:29:31,733 killed her own husband? 477 00:29:31,814 --> 00:29:34,648 Look, Nin... 478 00:29:34,734 --> 00:29:37,293 She was under an incredible amount of strain, 479 00:29:37,373 --> 00:29:40,252 looking after a man who didn't know his arse from his elbow 480 00:29:40,333 --> 00:29:44,213 and couldn't wipe either if he wanted to, right? 481 00:29:44,293 --> 00:29:50,164 She tried, with no back-up from anti-social services, 482 00:29:50,253 --> 00:29:55,885 no meals on wheels, no help at all, and... 483 00:29:58,373 --> 00:30:00,490 You're not thinking Liam did it? 484 00:30:00,573 --> 00:30:02,565 We're thinking you did. 485 00:30:08,293 --> 00:30:10,170 So where did Joseph come from? 486 00:30:12,252 --> 00:30:16,451 Granddad. Granddad Joey. 487 00:30:16,532 --> 00:30:18,012 Treated me like a princess. 488 00:30:18,092 --> 00:30:21,722 When Mam and Dad were at each other's throats... 489 00:30:21,812 --> 00:30:24,168 I dunno, it must have been a telepathy. 490 00:30:24,252 --> 00:30:27,643 He'd come round and he'd take me away from it all. 491 00:30:27,732 --> 00:30:30,201 He made me feel special. 492 00:30:30,292 --> 00:30:33,524 I just thought that'd be nice. 493 00:30:48,851 --> 00:30:51,411 If I ever find out you're lying, Karen... 494 00:31:04,811 --> 00:31:06,450 About fuckin' time! 495 00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:09,000 They had to wait for forensic before they could release you. 496 00:31:09,091 --> 00:31:10,445 Had to check the gun for prints. 497 00:31:10,531 --> 00:31:14,730 They're building the gallows in there, giving pissin' Pierrepoint a ring! 498 00:31:14,811 --> 00:31:18,929 Why were you so slow in telling them what happened, you selfish little twat?! 499 00:31:19,010 --> 00:31:20,763 Hang on a minute! 500 00:31:28,330 --> 00:31:29,923 Bus fare? 501 00:31:45,810 --> 00:31:48,041 She walks in beauty 502 00:31:48,130 --> 00:31:54,444 Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies... 503 00:31:54,529 --> 00:32:01,641 BOTH: And all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect 504 00:32:01,729 --> 00:32:07,726 And her eyes thus mellowed to that tender night 505 00:32:07,809 --> 00:32:12,008 Which heaven to gaudy day denies. 506 00:32:17,529 --> 00:32:19,441 Hardly a glass slipper. 507 00:32:19,529 --> 00:32:21,282 I'm hardly Prince Charming. 508 00:32:22,648 --> 00:32:26,085 It doesn't bother you, does it, that...that I've got kids? 509 00:32:26,168 --> 00:32:28,205 I mean, I can always trace their mum and... 510 00:32:28,288 --> 00:32:32,521 You're all give, give, give, just like me. 511 00:32:32,608 --> 00:32:34,679 Wouldn't mind a turn at taking. 512 00:32:34,768 --> 00:32:39,797 Hey, how about we learn together? 513 00:32:39,888 --> 00:32:42,005 I want passion, Frank. 514 00:32:42,088 --> 00:32:44,045 Excitement, adrenalin. 515 00:32:44,128 --> 00:32:47,121 I want to wake up in the morning not knowing what the day has to offer, 516 00:32:47,208 --> 00:32:50,838 and if you can't give me that, then you're not the man for me. 517 00:32:50,928 --> 00:32:52,806 I am that man. 518 00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:54,368 Talk's cheap. 519 00:32:54,448 --> 00:32:59,124 How about we dance naked till the sun comes up? 520 00:32:59,207 --> 00:33:00,641 I'm due at work at eight 521 00:33:00,727 --> 00:33:03,845 and there's the protest straight after tea. 522 00:33:03,927 --> 00:33:05,680 Oh, the library protest, yeah. 523 00:33:05,767 --> 00:33:08,839 I will not be ignored, Frank. Not this time. 524 00:33:08,927 --> 00:33:11,806 Let's make the bastards sit up and take notice. 525 00:33:11,887 --> 00:33:15,403 Let's not wave our banners but set the place alight. 526 00:33:15,487 --> 00:33:20,357 Ask for them to leave our library alone? No, we tell them! 527 00:33:20,447 --> 00:33:22,723 We dictate the conditions. 528 00:33:22,807 --> 00:33:27,677 This is our moment to shape history, Libby. You with me? 529 00:33:27,767 --> 00:33:29,883 I want you. Now. 530 00:33:31,766 --> 00:33:33,280 Toilet. Two minutes. 531 00:33:43,846 --> 00:33:47,157 You want adrenalin, excitement? 532 00:33:48,806 --> 00:33:50,479 Leg it. 533 00:33:58,126 --> 00:33:59,879 No-one in? Husband? 534 00:33:59,966 --> 00:34:02,400 Not married. 535 00:34:02,485 --> 00:34:04,238 - Kids? - No. 536 00:34:05,365 --> 00:34:08,324 Is that biology or opportunity? 537 00:34:08,405 --> 00:34:10,795 Combination of the two. 538 00:34:10,885 --> 00:34:13,684 What the fuck is this? Fuckin' hell... 539 00:34:21,485 --> 00:34:25,001 I'm not your first, am I? Cos I don't think I've got the time to... 540 00:34:25,085 --> 00:34:27,839 No, no, it's just that this particular book's 541 00:34:27,925 --> 00:34:30,235 not had its spine bent in quite a while. 542 00:34:32,285 --> 00:34:35,244 One shade the more, one ray the less 543 00:34:35,324 --> 00:34:38,123 Had half impaired the nameless grace 544 00:34:38,204 --> 00:34:44,280 Which waves with every raven tress, or softly lightens o'er her...face. 545 00:34:47,484 --> 00:34:48,600 Look, just... 546 00:34:48,684 --> 00:34:51,597 I thought you were a man of passion, Frank? 547 00:34:51,684 --> 00:34:53,403 Well, I've had my moments, yeah. 548 00:34:53,484 --> 00:34:54,998 So, surrender. 549 00:34:55,084 --> 00:34:57,394 Well, it's pretty hard waving the white flag 550 00:34:57,484 --> 00:34:59,635 when your concentration's being tested. 551 00:35:01,524 --> 00:35:02,799 Where thoughts... 552 00:35:02,884 --> 00:35:05,319 - Oh, yeah! - ...serenely sweet express... 553 00:35:05,404 --> 00:35:07,521 how pure, how dear their resting... 554 00:35:07,604 --> 00:35:10,243 Oh, just... Hang on. 555 00:35:10,323 --> 00:35:13,919 Oh, f... I'm sorry, it's just not happening. 556 00:35:14,003 --> 00:35:18,156 It's hard for me to maintain, you know, interest 557 00:35:18,243 --> 00:35:20,314 with you droning on Byronically... 558 00:35:20,403 --> 00:35:22,440 Please, Frank. 559 00:35:25,003 --> 00:35:26,232 Please. 560 00:35:33,963 --> 00:35:36,637 Ooooh, yes. Oh, let me have it! 561 00:35:36,723 --> 00:35:39,682 Let me grab your soul away! Let me have it! 562 00:35:39,763 --> 00:35:41,356 Oh, for fuck's sake! 563 00:35:41,443 --> 00:35:44,116 You know it's me... 564 00:35:44,202 --> 00:35:45,636 Cathy! 565 00:35:45,722 --> 00:35:47,873 (SQUEALS) 566 00:35:52,682 --> 00:35:54,594 Oh, fuck! 567 00:36:03,842 --> 00:36:05,720 (GROWLS) 568 00:36:09,722 --> 00:36:11,839 I thought she'd died. 569 00:36:11,922 --> 00:36:13,675 She's narcoleptic. 570 00:36:13,762 --> 00:36:16,720 Nod off at the drop of a hat. 571 00:36:16,801 --> 00:36:20,636 There are certain triggers, excitement being one of them. 572 00:36:20,721 --> 00:36:22,155 But don't flatter yourself. 573 00:36:22,241 --> 00:36:25,359 She passes out on a regular basis watching Britain's Got Talent. 574 00:36:25,441 --> 00:36:28,354 - Get that drunk and go. - I wouldn't mind seeing how she is. 575 00:36:28,441 --> 00:36:30,478 No, you won't be seeing her again. 576 00:36:30,561 --> 00:36:32,393 You're no good for her and she's no good for you. 577 00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,791 - I like her. - You don't know her. 578 00:36:34,881 --> 00:36:37,032 - I like what I know. - She'd shag anything. 579 00:36:37,121 --> 00:36:39,955 You're not that special, no matter what she told you. 580 00:36:40,041 --> 00:36:41,634 It smacks of sincerity to me. 581 00:36:41,721 --> 00:36:44,680 Did she tell you of her broken engagement? 582 00:36:44,761 --> 00:36:48,118 The half-caste lad from Liverpool, who married another woman 583 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,238 so he could inherit a fortune, broke our Libby's heart? 584 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,880 Yeah, she told me on the way over here. 585 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,474 That's Scousers for ya. 586 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,394 It's the plot of Wuthering Heights. 587 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,200 Hasn't got a life of her own, so she lives other people's. 588 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,795 Told me once she was up the duff. 589 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:08,193 Taken advantage of by a local landowner after a charity dance. 590 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,352 I said, "You stop right there, lady." 591 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,797 Tess Of The D'Urbervilles had been on the telly the week before 592 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,234 and it had addled her brain. 593 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,195 Thanks for the tea. 594 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,351 Forget her. Move on. It'll end in tears. 595 00:37:23,439 --> 00:37:24,998 And what's that the plot of, then? 596 00:37:25,079 --> 00:37:27,150 I want better for my daughter. 597 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:31,392 You want better for yourself, cos you know if she got a life of her own, 598 00:37:31,479 --> 00:37:33,391 - yours is as good as over. - I'm her anchor. 599 00:37:33,479 --> 00:37:36,233 - Millstone. - She'd be lost without me. 600 00:37:36,319 --> 00:37:39,551 - She'd thrive without you! - I'm warning you! 601 00:37:41,119 --> 00:37:44,590 She's the first bit of light I have had in my grey life 602 00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:50,073 for a very long time, and if you think I'm going to let you 603 00:37:50,159 --> 00:37:54,073 cast your wizened, selfish, gnarled, bitter little shadow over this, 604 00:37:54,159 --> 00:37:55,956 you are sadly mistaken. 605 00:37:56,038 --> 00:37:58,348 You don't scare me. 606 00:37:58,438 --> 00:38:00,828 Ditto. Now fuck off, Ironside. 607 00:38:00,918 --> 00:38:02,318 Ooh! 608 00:38:09,438 --> 00:38:13,193 Oh, how are you? I haven't seen you for donkey's. 609 00:38:13,278 --> 00:38:15,474 I'm great, Nin. It's you I'm worried about. 610 00:38:15,558 --> 00:38:18,710 Oh, me? Don't you worry about me. 611 00:38:18,798 --> 00:38:20,517 I know what I'm doing. 612 00:38:20,598 --> 00:38:22,669 We just wanted to make sure you were OK. 613 00:38:22,758 --> 00:38:24,670 Fine. 614 00:38:24,758 --> 00:38:30,515 I'm fine. Oh, I know some people think what I did was wrong, but... 615 00:38:30,597 --> 00:38:35,194 Jonty had no real quality of life, which meant I didn't either. 616 00:38:35,277 --> 00:38:36,870 We had a word with your lawyer. 617 00:38:36,957 --> 00:38:40,587 He reckons you could be out in two years. Extenuating circumstances. 618 00:38:40,677 --> 00:38:45,035 - You can come and stay with us. - I like it here. 619 00:38:45,117 --> 00:38:48,667 It's warm. My room-mate's very nice. 620 00:38:48,757 --> 00:38:50,714 And they do courses! Imagine! 621 00:38:50,797 --> 00:38:54,154 Nin, you don't have to stay. With good behaviour... 622 00:38:54,237 --> 00:38:57,992 I'm a Gallagher. We've never been one for behaving. 623 00:38:59,077 --> 00:39:04,276 All I've got to do is make sure I never get out. Never. 624 00:39:08,716 --> 00:39:10,548 Now that's your cue to get out. 625 00:39:10,636 --> 00:39:12,912 (ALARM RINGS) 626 00:39:42,315 --> 00:39:43,544 No credit. 627 00:39:44,635 --> 00:39:46,035 Explain. 628 00:39:46,115 --> 00:39:48,311 The only time I see you with a smile on your face 629 00:39:48,395 --> 00:39:49,875 is when you're after something. 630 00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:52,595 And aren't we a proper likkle ray of fuckin' sunshine? 631 00:39:52,675 --> 00:39:54,871 - What are you on? - Nothing. 632 00:39:54,955 --> 00:39:56,548 High on something. 633 00:39:56,635 --> 00:39:59,946 - Life. Love. Should try it. - 7.75. 634 00:40:00,035 --> 00:40:02,425 You may not have the empire of a Shirley Porter, 635 00:40:02,515 --> 00:40:04,552 the business acumen of a Lord Sainsbury, 636 00:40:04,635 --> 00:40:09,914 your establishment has the aesthetic appeal of the Beirut branch of Netto 637 00:40:09,994 --> 00:40:14,705 but...you still have the love of a good man, agreed? 638 00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:20,628 - Well. Yeah. - What more do you need? 639 00:40:21,834 --> 00:40:23,746 Thank you. 640 00:40:31,994 --> 00:40:34,225 Oh, you fucking cu... 641 00:40:34,314 --> 00:40:35,430 (PASSIONATE GROANING) 642 00:40:55,793 --> 00:40:56,909 Sorry about the bike. 643 00:40:56,993 --> 00:41:00,350 Put the feelers out for another one, eh? 644 00:41:00,433 --> 00:41:02,629 Does nothing ever trouble your conscience? 645 00:41:02,713 --> 00:41:09,233 Eh, listen, son, I negotiate my way through life's moral maze with ease. 646 00:41:11,513 --> 00:41:12,947 So... Eh! 647 00:41:14,232 --> 00:41:15,348 For the demo. 648 00:41:15,432 --> 00:41:17,151 All this effort. 649 00:41:17,232 --> 00:41:18,951 Hope she's worth it. 650 00:41:22,272 --> 00:41:24,184 Yeah, yeah, she is. 651 00:41:24,272 --> 00:41:26,628 Makes little Frank feel like he's 17 again. 652 00:41:26,712 --> 00:41:28,783 You know what I mean? 653 00:41:28,872 --> 00:41:30,431 Hang on, hang on! 654 00:41:30,512 --> 00:41:33,505 Something you don't know anything about yet, sunshine, 655 00:41:33,592 --> 00:41:36,312 is the union between a man and a woman. 656 00:41:36,392 --> 00:41:40,022 I've known about it for years, the walls in this house are paper thin. 657 00:41:40,112 --> 00:41:42,547 Yeah, but you never experienced it. 658 00:41:42,632 --> 00:41:46,182 Came close. When we shared that bunk in Pwllheli. 659 00:41:46,272 --> 00:41:48,627 You see, I've met someone who... 660 00:41:50,191 --> 00:41:53,184 ...who inspires, ignites, 661 00:41:53,271 --> 00:41:57,060 lights a flame in my soul. 662 00:41:57,151 --> 00:41:58,631 And goes like a rabbit. 663 00:41:58,711 --> 00:42:00,191 Yeah, that too, yeah. 664 00:42:00,271 --> 00:42:01,944 But, you know, this is different. 665 00:42:03,551 --> 00:42:05,941 You know, it's in its infancy... 666 00:42:08,231 --> 00:42:15,991 ...but I know that it's something that I want to pursue, you know, nurture. 667 00:42:20,390 --> 00:42:21,983 How do I look? 668 00:42:22,070 --> 00:42:24,141 Desperate. 669 00:42:28,910 --> 00:42:31,027 (BICYCLE BELL RINGS) 670 00:42:31,110 --> 00:42:32,510 What do you think? 671 00:42:32,590 --> 00:42:34,946 35, like we said? 672 00:42:42,070 --> 00:42:44,585 ALL: What do we want? Libraries. When do we want them? Now! 673 00:42:44,670 --> 00:42:48,061 What do we want? Libraries. When do we want them? Now! 674 00:42:48,150 --> 00:42:50,745 More reading, less breeding! More reading, less breeding! 675 00:42:50,830 --> 00:42:54,982 More reading, less breeding! More reading, less breeding! 676 00:42:55,069 --> 00:42:57,903 The rover returns! 677 00:42:57,989 --> 00:43:01,949 You can't get rid of me that easily, Miss Croker, I know where you live. 678 00:43:02,029 --> 00:43:04,544 What do we want? Libraries. When do we want them? Now! 679 00:43:04,629 --> 00:43:09,260 I knew from the second I set eyes on you. I knew you were the one. 680 00:43:09,349 --> 00:43:11,466 Do you believe in destiny, Frank? 681 00:43:11,549 --> 00:43:16,101 Well, I'm more of a random sequence of events man, meself, 682 00:43:16,189 --> 00:43:20,820 though I can see the attraction of believing that certain happenings 683 00:43:20,909 --> 00:43:22,628 are preordained, yeah. 684 00:43:24,349 --> 00:43:25,942 - (GLASS BREAKS) - Fucking bastard! 685 00:43:27,268 --> 00:43:28,987 Shit. 686 00:43:29,068 --> 00:43:31,663 Send for backup. Get the TAU now! 687 00:43:52,188 --> 00:43:55,704 Listen to me, Frank. This is it, our moment to shape history! 688 00:43:55,788 --> 00:43:57,461 It's our moment to do a runner. 689 00:43:57,548 --> 00:44:01,302 Take this time and shape it, Frank. Make a stand, make a mark, 690 00:44:01,387 --> 00:44:02,821 do something that matters. 691 00:44:05,027 --> 00:44:06,427 Stay, Frank. 692 00:44:07,787 --> 00:44:09,221 I'll make it worth your while. 693 00:44:09,307 --> 00:44:10,787 Oh! 694 00:44:30,587 --> 00:44:35,502 (POLICE SIRENS WAIL) 695 00:44:37,906 --> 00:44:39,977 No! 696 00:44:40,066 --> 00:44:42,581 - No! - No! No! 697 00:44:47,986 --> 00:44:50,296 Libby! 698 00:44:50,386 --> 00:44:53,026 Frank! 699 00:44:53,106 --> 00:44:56,258 Libby... 700 00:44:59,866 --> 00:45:03,382 Fuck's sake, Dad. Apologising to coppers, 701 00:45:03,466 --> 00:45:06,265 assuring them you'll keep out of trouble in the future? 702 00:45:06,346 --> 00:45:08,496 Well, I'm sorry for having a pulse, 703 00:45:08,585 --> 00:45:10,463 thinking there's a cause worth fighting for, 704 00:45:10,545 --> 00:45:14,255 for not thinking about myself for once but for the greater good. 705 00:45:14,345 --> 00:45:15,859 So did you get your end away? 706 00:45:17,825 --> 00:45:19,020 It was a bit public. 707 00:45:19,105 --> 00:45:20,664 Where is she? 708 00:45:23,185 --> 00:45:25,302 She won't get bail. She won't get out. 709 00:45:26,865 --> 00:45:29,699 At least not for a good few months. 710 00:45:34,745 --> 00:45:37,101 Is she worth waiting for? 711 00:45:47,624 --> 00:45:49,183 Come on. 712 00:45:49,264 --> 00:45:50,857 LIAM: On reflection, 713 00:45:50,944 --> 00:45:55,223 I'd say there's a certain amount of selfishness necessary for survival. 714 00:45:55,304 --> 00:45:58,581 Like when you're flying and they say in the safety demo, 715 00:45:58,664 --> 00:46:00,383 "In the event of a decompression, 716 00:46:00,464 --> 00:46:04,583 "help children and others only after you've put on your own oxygen mask." 717 00:46:04,664 --> 00:46:06,542 You've got to look after yourself 718 00:46:06,624 --> 00:46:09,139 before you can even begin to look after others. 719 00:46:09,224 --> 00:46:10,977 It's all about balance. 720 00:46:11,064 --> 00:46:12,896 That's the trick. 721 00:46:12,983 --> 00:46:15,179 Get that right and you've cracked it. 722 00:46:57,662 --> 00:46:59,972 Lamb stew, lamb hotpot, lamb curry. 723 00:47:00,062 --> 00:47:02,133 Don't you think we should have a bit more variety? 724 00:47:02,222 --> 00:47:05,932 I'm trying to make sure that they have a bit of meat and two veg inside them. 725 00:47:15,142 --> 00:47:16,940 (GUN FIRES) 54903

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