All language subtitles for shameless.s06e08.720p.hdtv.x264-bia.en

Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!

Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives

they were given by him upstairs

and kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.

What sounds on earth
could ever replace

kids needing money
or wives in your face?

Cos this, people reckon,
and me included,

is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented

to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.

These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.

We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.

You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.

Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers

who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.

Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!

Make poverty history,
cheaper drugs now!

FRANK LAUGHS

Scatter.

Party...

(Mimi) My granddad
used to keep pigeons.

Flying rats, me ma called them.

Kept threatening to torch the cage

because she was sick of
cleaning up shit in the yard.

WAILS AND SOBS

But I loved them.

They could go wherever they wanted,

as far as they could
be arsed to fly.

And at the end of the day,
they always came home.

One of these pigeons
was a right little scally, though.

Would fly off in a straight line
and keep going.

The number of times Granddad got
the train down south to pick him up!

Trouble is, even family
can stray too far.

MAN CRIES OUT IN PAIN

SHE SCREAMS

Fuck!

Easy mistake, granted,
but the last time you clowns make it.

- Go on, get.
- Come on.

You smell of piss.

Where the fuck have you been?!

It's a long story.

Look at the state of you.

Have you any idea how worried I was?!

Not one fucking phone call!

It was out of my control.

I thought you were dead
and...or gone...and...

You should know better than that.

I want every fucking detail, Paddy.

SHE SOBS

Right, we've got two coronation chicken,
one crab paste,

three ham and cheese, one pastrami Swiss
with no pickles on rye, and a tuna melt.

I hope it's tuna friendly.

It's dolphin friendly.

Dolphin sandwiches?

Oh!

Here he is.

(Liam) Dad... Dad...

Monica...

You were dreaming about her.

- Who?
- Mum.

She's not coming back.

Chip paper, son.
Yesterday's news.

Come on, time to move on.

- Why? Why has she gone...again?
- You're asking me?

I am not the abandoner,
I'm the abandonee.

FRANK SIGHS

Once more, left holding the babies.

Plural.

On me own.

Everybody's on their own.

The only person you can
ever really rely on is yourself.

You're not alone.

You've got family. We're together.

Family's a lie.

It's an excuse people like you use
to keep us here,

and it only works until
something better comes along.

Hey, hey, come here.

We'll be all right, kidda.

I promise.

Don't promise what
you can't deliver, Dad.

DOOR CLOSES

(Paddy) I didn't take
the money to the meet.

Why d'you think
they held us captive?

What, so there's a shit-load of cash

sat in some hotel room
in Spain somewhere?

Well, I could hardly
go back for it, could I?

They were swarming the fucking place,
looking for me. I'm sorry, sweetheart...

I've no appetite.

So why did they shave your head?

- (Paddy) I didn't think to ask.
- So who was the contact?

Jesus Christ!
What's with the 20 questions?

I'm lucky to be here at all.

Waylo's fucking shark bait.

How about a thought
for his family, huh?

DOOR CLOSES
Dad! What happened?

- Look at your hair.
- I'm fine.

- Katie! It's so good to see you.
- What happened to Waylo?

He drowned, you dickhead.
You can't swim four hours

with a stab wound to your chest.

Who is Waylo?

I haven't a fucking clue, son.

Called in sick
so we could make a start.

Oh, nice one, Max.

- Morning, Carlos.
- Morning.

No, no, no, no...
SHE GIGGLES

Hey! Hey! Get a room, for fuck sake.
Trying to get a kid off to school here.

Oi, Liam! Coat! Lose that.

Dinner money...

I can walk to school myself.

Since when were you
Liam's escort to school?

Come on, out. Out!

Ah, since he's supposed
to be looking after Stella!

Fuck's sake.

- Single parent, sole responsibility.
- Yeah...

Like you all are...again.
More fucking kids than Angelina Jolie.

Don't swear.
They absorb everything at her age.

(Frank) Oh, really? Richard and Judy
tell you that, did they?

(Debs) At least he's making an effort.
What have you done?

- After nine kids? Plenty!
- Plenty?

- Don't fucking give me that, Debs!
- You do nothing, I do everything.

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
Auntie Iris is dead.

- What?
- Auntie Iris is dead.

Who's Auntie Iris?

This is the last will and testament
of Iris Gallagher.

Being of sound mind and body.

Hello, Frank!
It's me, Auntie Iris.

Bad news - must be dead
if you're watching this,

but I've had a good innings.

Auntie Iris!

We're cut from
the same cloth, Frank,

which is why I'm leaving it all
to you and the kids!

LAUGHING

You jammy bastard.

Have... Have I missed something here?

- (Debs) We're minted.
- (Carl) How are we minted?

A four-bedroom house in Alderley Edge.
It'll be worth a fortune.

- Hang on.
- (Debs) No, Dad, you're not spoiling it.

This is our chance to get out,
to be something.

He wouldn't be here, if he had the choice.
Crap school's holding him back so much,

he'll be written off by the time
he's my age. I could do anything,

you know, like be one of those
posh bitches driving around in my 4x4.

We're minted!

KIDS CHEERING

See? Till something better
comes along.

(Lawyer) There is one other thing.

DOOR CLOSES

This is Marilyn.

As a modern, consumer-focused business,
we value customer feedback.

Could you fill it in
and pop it in my box, love?

You'll be entered into a draw for
a free hour with the girl of your choice.

Mastering Communication In Business?

It's no good the beaver not knowing
when the cock's crowing.

What the fuck you on about?!

The boss, that's me, communicating
with the worker, that's you.

Maybe it's my fault that
you haven't done so well, love.

What the fuck's this?

It's your performance review.

Technical ability - six out of ten!

Team work - three!

Well, you are of a bit of a loner.
You should join in with Trixie and Stacey.

Peer mentoring is an essential part
of modern enterprise.

I'm sure you'll up your game
before your next review.

Or what? I get the sack? It's a brothel!

- It's the oldest business in the world.
- It's fucking insulting.

You know what? I resign!

You can stick your technical ability
up your arse!

FLICKING CHANNELS

You lying fuck.

You were asleep for hours.

Catching up on me.

I've missed you.

SIGHING
I've missed you too, angel.

That'll be the last trip for a while.

Fucking better be,
if you value your testicles.

Need to apply for a new passport...
and driving licence and all that shit.

Where does it hurt?

I'm fine, Mimo.

Just...

Please...

I'll put the kettle on,
for when you're ready.

Sorry about that.
I need you to find somebody for me.

So what, is he going to go back out there
and get these fuckers, or what?

No, I think he's just happy to be alive.

I wonder why they just shaved
his head, though, and not his beard?

DOOR OPENS

What's all this?

Inspection. Wedding licence tomorrow,
need to smarten the place up.

- Is that tomorrow?
- I've told you four times.

Oh, yeah, so you have.

So why the shit-eating grin?

Been to see my parole officer.

He said I've been
a good boy long enough.

The council might be sympathetic
to me getting my name above the door.

My name's already above the door.

Yeah, I know, but we can be
joint licensees - landlady, landlord.

Hope you don't think
I'm being presumptuous,

but I popped out and got the paperwork.

I'm up to my eyes right now.
You could lend a hand.

Yeah, I will.

I've quit Lillian's.
A point of principle.

I've got £46.23 to me name, Kelly.
How much have you got?

What an amazing life.
She played poker with Fidel Castro.

(Maxine) She were a showgirl
in Las Vegas? The Rat Pack. JFK.

She were a right little goer.

Yeah, and with Gallagher blood
in her veins.

Maybe we're not all
doomed to be like Dad.

THEY LAUGH

Yeah, cos that would be tragic,
wouldn't it?

No, I didn't mean it like that.

Finished dividing up the spoils,
have you?

You got to admit, it's exciting.
New life, and that.

Did you sneeze your brains out
over winter? There is no new life.

- Why not?
- Cos I'm selling.

You're not going anywhere.
You're staying put.

Are you really that selfish?

No, no, no, no.
I'm thinking about the family.

We're the family.
And we're thinking of moving.

No.

You're prepared to deny Stella
the chance of a better life?

That's a low blow, Debbie.

And since when was living
in a posh gaff

more important than a babby
being with her dad?

Since you were her dad?

Fine.

Flee the fucking nest, then,
lot of you, see how far it gets you.

MOANING

So what have we got here, then?

Oh, no. We've been rumbled.
Think of the scandal and the shame.

Leave that alone!
Get off me!

- But we were so good together.
- You won't get away with this.

Oh, I think we might...Mr Bennett.

You wouldn't want the wife to know
you've been shagging hookers.

Or the boss. I'm presuming
this is a business trip.

You could always call the cops,
make a formal complaint.

Didn't think so.

The pleasure has been all ours.

Candy from a baby.

Mr Mastercard, meet Mr Visa.

All the children! Dad's going to
shit himself when he hears about this.

No. This is our thing.
It's fuck all to do with the family.

It all goes in t'same pot.

So your old man
can dispense the pocket money?

Haven't had much of late, have you?

I'm out the door at Lillian's and it's us
putting the graft in! Fair's fair!

OK, fine, but can you let go, please?
You're twisting me nipple.

DOOR CLOSES

What's going on?

- He won't let us in.
- Turfed us out.

Dad!
BABY CRYING

I sleep at hers for one night
and you let this happen!

- I didn't do owt.
- I knew I'd get t'blame.

DEBS BASHING ON DOOR

- New doors are expensive, Debs.
- Stop pissing about.

Go away.
CRYING CONTINUES

I'm freeing you
from the shackles of family.

I'm finished being the weight that holds
you back from your wonderful lives.

Oh, don't be stupid!

Look, you can't blackmail us.

I can, and I am.

Go and see if the streets of Alderley Edge
are indeed paved with gold.

Yeah, you look after number one.
And take your brother with you!

He needs convincing.

I'm not going. What is the point?

Well, fine, we will.

- What, now?
- Just to see what it's like.

STELLA CRYING

It's all right, it's all right.
It's all right.

You're playing a dangerous game,
Frank.

I know what I'm doing.

You cannot beat me.

I am the fucking man.

I am the man!

KNOCKING AT DOOR

Paddy? Are you on the phone?

No, sweet pea.

I'm...

..just singing to myself.

HE SINGS TO HIMSELF

PHONE BLEEPING

Mr Wallace? Waylo Wallace?

Oh, sorry to bother you.

SIGHING

Wrong number?

How long you been there?

Long enough.

Wanted to pay me
respects to Waylo's wife.

It's not his real name, and even if
it was, he wouldn't be in the phone book.

You were never in Spain.

We don't lie to each other. Golden rule.

And plenty more for a rainy day.
Are you doubting my word?

What am I supposed to think?

Something's not right, Paddy.

Something's happened.
Look at the state of you.

I've got a bug, is all.
It's hardly surprising.

I know the consequences
if I lie to you...for us.

Why would I do that?

Where are you going?

- Work.
- You're not well.

I'm well enough to see the business
is going down the shitter.

BUZZER

How far have we walked?

It's got to have the address.

I've checked ten times.
It's not there!

Well, it's got to be
round here somewhere.

She had a massive oak tree
behind her on the tape.

That hardly narrows it down.
This is fucking...tree world.

Excuse me.
Excuse me, we're looking for a...

Afternoon.

Hiya. We're looking for a house.

Woman called Iris Gallagher,
died recently?

Sorry.

She's got a massive oak tree outside,

like something out
of English Heritage.

We're not gonna nick anything,
you know.

You think just cos the way we
look and talk, we're gonna rob you?

Oh, come on, you two, I'm not
wasting my money in this shit-hole.

The nerve on her.

- Crisps?
- Do you want a can?

What's going on?

He's designed a new cocktail.
I'm going to call it the Nuptial.

Thought we couldn't
afford any new staff?

Yeah, well, if I let him stare
at my arse, he'll work for free.

Thinks I don't notice.
We only need him for weddings.

Sorry, it's husband
and wife stuff. Private.

I'm invisible. She doesn't notice me
staring at her arse either.

Who in their right mind wants
to get married in here, Karen?

Morning Pilates,
breakfast opening, quiz nights,

Battle Of The Bands,
theme nights, strippers.

Every one, my idea.

I got us into the pub league, didn't I?

Only so's you can
have a game yourself.

A bit of support now and
then wouldn't go amiss.

Got any plans for tonight?

I am a twice married,
if twice deserted man, Karen.

I'm not so sure your spouse
would approve.

- In your dreams.
- Frequently.

I mean, you're moving, aren't you?

Oh, I see, bad news travels as fast
as a skitter down a waste pipe.

You should have a party,
you know, invite the regulars.

I'll even throw in
a couple of barrels.

Karen, when have you out of
the kindness of your likkle stone heart,

ever done anything for me?

Since I needed you lot out of here

when the council come around to
inspect me for a wedding licence.

Deal?

Deal.

LAUGHING

Don't you walk away from me!
Don't you!

I was a nurse. It's all right,
Patrick, I know what I'm doing.

Please. Stop.

(Mimi) I don't know what to think.

- Something doesn't add up.
- It's fellas, though, innit?

Need a map to the truth sometimes.
No offence.

It's all right. I don't think of myself
as a fella when I'm with you.

I'll get me fags.

Nausea, vomiting, hair-loss.
You'd almost think that he...

What were you gonna say?

Nothing.

Oh, my God!

- Sit down. You got any aspirin?
- Bathroom cabinet.

Shit!

Patrick, wake up. Patrick.

Big mistake letting me go.

I've had this question running round
and round in my head. Our children.

Nature or nurture? Do you know what
DN fucking A my kids inherited?

By rights, they should be inside
or dead. But they're not. And why?

Because I've been there for
them every step of the way.

So you ask yourself who was
responsible for your little tootsie.

Me? I don't think so.

This addiction will not
defeat me, you bitch.

You will not defeat me, you bitch.

How fucking dare you!

SCREAMING

Jesus!

Nurture over nature and your
little one will be fine and dandy.

Everything else is just an excuse.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

SHE LAUGHS

PHONE RINGS

Dad?

I've just been to our storage facility.

It's bare of anything
that sells at a premium.

Cos I shifted every last grain.

You fucking eejit!
Never sell all your stock.

Always plan for contingencies.

- We're getting more in on Thursday...
- Wrong. You get more in today.

I can't, I'm busy...

I'm busier. That was not a request!

Oh, fuck!

Well, well, well,
what we got here, then?

Don't you people ever knock?

I would have put it outside the door.

Go easy on the starch.

You didn't have to shag him.

Well, you went AWOL.

Well, it were me dad's fault.

Doing my head in about
getting some gear in.

What's his big rush?

Fuck knows.

We've been walking for hours.

If we pass a bus stop,
I'm going home.

S'cuse me. We're looking for a house.

You'll need to be more
specific than that, love.

Iris Gallagher,
lived alone, died recently?

Landed on your feet
working here, mate.

You think so? 12 hours a days
working on me hands and knees

for minimum pay.
Polish kids'll do it for half the price.

Yeah, all my birthdays
landed at once, son(!)

House like that,
must have a bit of bob.

Well, she's not short of a few quid.
Lives by herself.

She rattles round
the empty rooms all day

like the ghost of Christmas
fucking miserable.

Husband fucked off with
a younger model, she got the house.

Kids grew up and buggered
off to South America...

Mrs Maguire?

- Sammy Allway!
- Samantha.

I've not seen you since...

- Since you shagged Ben at my 16th.
- Right, sorry about that.

Don't be, you did me a favour.

Can't argue... Bad breath, came
before he was out of his pants.

I meant, you did me a favour
because it made him realise

there was only one woman for him.
We've been married three years now.

Council Civil Ceremony Department.

You've applied for a wedding licence?

MUSIC: Ruby by The Kaiser Chiefs

How was it?

It was bloody awful.

Let's hear you, Chatsworth.

You tell 'em, kidda.

# Ruby Ruby Ruby! #

CROWD SHOUT AND SING ALONG

# Ah-ah-ah-ah... #

You need to talk to me, Paddy.

I thought I had been.

I can help. We can get
through this together.

Get through what?

I know!

It's nothing to be afraid of.

Stick together, we can beat anything.

It's not a death sentence these days.

Plenty of cancers disappear
with a bit of treatment.

Cancer.

Don't be afraid to say it.

We're strong.

We are, Mimi.

We're strong.

Excuse me, darling.

Sorry, love.

Trying to cripple the competition?

Where is it?

He said tomorrow.

Come on, son,
do your old man a favour, huh?

What do you want him to do,
magic it out of his arse?

I'd have thought he'd have ripped
your head off. He must be ill.

I'll get you a drink.

PADDY GROANS

Fuck!

PADDY GROANS

You a copper?

Does he owe you money?

No.

Wanna score, then?

How old are you?

Do you want it or not?

Bastard!

You were so confident at school,
so "bring it on".

I thought you'd end up
marrying Ryan Giggs,

- or living in London or something.
- Chance'd be a fine thing.

So, how'd you end up
marrying a Maguire, then?

I mean, it's a bit of an underachievement,
isn't it?

Well, you got to settle for
what you can get, haven't ya?

Going out, love?

MUSIC: Love Will Tear Us Apart
by Joy Division

We could always sell it, buy a house
round here. We'd have cash to spare.

That's not the point.

I feel like a dick, banging on
about better chances in life.

Yeah, well, what's this about?

Is this about Auntie Iris's house
or your pride?

But it's Dad, though, going on about
family and then he locks us out.

I hate the thought
of proving him right.

Wait a minute - he locked you out?

Yeah, he threw us out, more like.

That's weird. Why would Dad
volunteer to be on his own?

Who'd look after him?

She's using you, mate.

You do just as much around that
place as she does. If not more.

What's this?

Not now, sweets - man talk.

Karen is off her head if she thinks
she can run that place without you.

You want to draw a line in the sand
and refuse to be pushed around.

Yeah, yeah, cheers, mate.

SHOUTING

I'll be supplying the flowers,
the catering,

the cake, of course.

We've also got a full limousine
service available and...

Fuck sake, Frank.

I'll just have a pint of lager and two Es.

Was it not Chairman Mao who said,
"The party is all powerful"?

Think I'll leave you to it.

No, wait. You've not even seen
the centrepieces on the tables...

Samantha please... Samantha!

I'm sorry. I tried to stop them,
but you know what this lot are like.

Power cut at the Gallaghers...
apparently.

You fucking bastard!

I'm saving you from yourself, Karen.

It's a Chatsworth spit'n'sawdust,
not a Gretna Green B-and-fucking-B.

- Get the fuck out of my pub.
- Your pub?

- It's my name on the door. Remember?
- Like you'd let me fucking forget.

You've got a criminal record now,
that's not good for business.

No, it's not about my record.

No, it's not.
It's about all your records.

Clan Maguire.

I'd sell my fucking soul
to the devil before I let you

get your claws into The Jockey.

Or maybe that's just the same thing.

Sign the application or I walk.

Never.

You may be able to fool
the rest of them, but not me.

What the fuck do you want?

Do you know Mimi
thinks you've got cancer?

How does that make you feel?

Mind your own business.

You're a junkie, Paddy.

I'm not a fucking junkie!

I've been there.

Big, scary,

invincible Paddy Maguire,

as vulnerable as the rest of us.

Leave me alone...please.

Jesus, you really are in deep.

I'm not.

First step is admitting it to yourself.

Help me.

Please.

Come here.

If you knew the shit you're
gonna suffer trying to beat this,

you'd beg me to kill you now.

Karen?

You just had to see
for yourself, didn't you...

Just open it.

You were always going to get it.
We need somewhere round here.

Venues in the outlying area
have to spend a fortune on security,

soon as they get a booking
from Chatsworth.

I've got it.

(Joe) That's brilliant!

Well done!

SIGHS
Mimo...

I phoned round all the hospitals,
just in case.

Pathetic little "her indoors".

Then got Micky to drive me round,
scouring the streets,

in case you'd been left in an alley,
been in an accident.

We got back an hour ago.

Where were you?

Slept in the lock-up.

Any particular reason?

Needed some space.

Our marriage is hanging by a thread,
Paddy, because you're lying to me.

Do you have cancer?

No.

No cancer.

I got myself involved in some
business that I shouldn't have.

I'm not telling you
because it will be nasty,

and the less you know, the better.

- Bullshit.
- The less you know, the better.

Somebody's going to die, Mimi,
here, close by,

for what was done to me.

And if you don't know,
they can't link you to it.

Don't give up on me.
I will handle it.

Oh...

Is this a family I see before me?

- You locked them out?
- Yes, I did.

Prerogative of
the disenfranchised father.

Bollocks.

You're a lot of things, Dad,
but there is no way

you'd volunteer to be without
your family. You'd be fucked.

Oh, would I?

Well, maybe I felt a dawning sense
of liberation these past 24 hours.

You had six Es last night.
Could be that.

He was making a point.

Why else would you lock 'em out?

Well, I don't know, smart-arse.
You're the one with the answers.

- There is no house.
- What?

He made it up.

- We were there, we heard the will.
- I did not make it up.

I may have omitted a few facts.

- I fucking knew it!
- It's the same principle.

Fucking greed, greed, greed...

Me, me, me, me!

Soon as they thought
there was something in it...

We're not going.
We decided that yesterday.

Oh, why? Were the stables too small?

No, because we want a family.
Because we want you.

Thought about it,
but something better came along.

He means you.

Yeah, I know what he means.
Thank you.

Well, I hope you've all
learned your lesson.

(Ian) Which is?

Think of your father
before you think of others.

You are full of shit, Dad.

It's me job.

So what's happened
with the house, then?

If you'd have read the small print,

you'd have realised that Auntie Iris
resided temporarily in Alderley Edge,

amongst other places.

- You always knew there wasn't a house?
- Yeah.

Iris was a degenerate gambler.

She lived like a gypsy her whole life,
never had tuppence in her pocket.

So all that stuff about
Castro and Frank Sinatra?

Yeah, all true.

She may have been the black sheep,
but she lived a hell of a life.

That's why she was me favourite auntie,
and I was her favourite lad.

From this box to her last box
with nobody to say goodbye.

Oh...

Think she was trying
to find her way home?

Looks like the mountain
came to Mohammed.

- I found a buyer.
- You've sold it already!

You can't look a gift horse, Debbie.

40 quid!

She was overdue on her ground rent
a couple of years

and I've deducted
my firm's expenses.

ALL LAUGH

Fucking old bitch.

DOOR BANGS

Oh, no. Not again.

You're a prostitute!

Have a look in the mirror, chum.

Face like yours is enough to
make a working girl go straight.

- Mr Thompson?
- She approached me!

I'm sure your wife'll understand, then.
You thought it was a freebie!

What was that for?

There's something I need to tell you,
about your dad.

I'm calling the police!

Go ahead. Maybe they'll
put us in the same cell.

He's pushing you to get hold
of heroin because he's using.

Come on, Shane, it were only a knock.

Shane?

ALL TALK AT ONCE

DOOR BANGS

(Mimi) Some people
see coming home as a failure.

Oh, very good.

Like they haven't been able to do
that whole wide world thing on their own.

Courtesy of Auntie Iris.
Gallagher through and through.

- Nice one.
- Hey, hey, hey...!

- Help yourselves, why don't you!
- (Carl) Did you shake it up?

You shook it up, didn't ya?

But sometimes, coming home
is the hardest thing to do.

But it's not a place you can hide.

Not from family, at least. Home
is not some last desperate refuge.

SOBS
Oh, Shane. Wake up, please.

An ambulance.

I...I need an ambulance.

It's where you can reach out
for help and find the strength

to get back out there
and prove the cunts wrong.

Me granddad's scally pigeon
came home eventually.

Fed-Exed back from France in a box...

..what was left of the poor thing.

So in your opinion, should we
be steering our focus groups

in the way of the beaver or the cock?

Like I tell my girls...

"Think cock, act beaver."

Questions?