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1
00:00:02,495 --> 00:00:07,092
Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
2
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:10,647
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
3
00:00:10,736 --> 00:00:14,093
they were given by him upstairs
4
00:00:14,176 --> 00:00:17,408
and kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
5
00:00:17,496 --> 00:00:22,412
What sounds on earth could
ever replace kids needing money
6
00:00:22,496 --> 00:00:24,453
or wives in your face?
7
00:00:24,536 --> 00:00:28,212
Cos this, people reckon -
and me included - is why
8
00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:33,611
pubs and drugs were kindly
invented - to calm us all down,
9
00:00:33,697 --> 00:00:35,973
to stop us going mental.
10
00:00:36,057 --> 00:00:40,495
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:40,577 --> 00:00:45,049
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:48,892
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:52,457 --> 00:00:55,417
Imagine a Britain without
Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:00:55,498 --> 00:00:58,855
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:00:58,938 --> 00:01:02,773
Make poverty history!
Cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:02,858 --> 00:01:05,134
Make poverty history!
17
00:01:05,218 --> 00:01:06,811
Cheaper drugs now!
18
00:01:06,898 --> 00:01:09,049
Hey, hey, hey!
19
00:01:09,138 --> 00:01:10,254
Scatter!
20
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:11,692
Party!
21
00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:20,179
(Monica) A very importantbusiness person once said,
22
00:01:20,259 --> 00:01:22,728
if you do nothing in life,
23
00:01:22,819 --> 00:01:25,493
well, then you become nothing.
24
00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:29,933
You have to get out thereand make it happen.
25
00:01:30,019 --> 00:01:32,818
Come to think of it, it wassomeone off The Apprentice.
26
00:01:32,899 --> 00:01:36,449
They got firedin the first week, but...
27
00:01:36,539 --> 00:01:38,132
you get the point, don't you?
28
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:44,018
It's up to you to get what you want.
29
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,251
If all you want in lifeis to be needed,
30
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,536
then you have tomake yourself needed.
31
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:52,136
Look out for people - help themwhen they're struggling.
32
00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:54,894
Always try to do the right thing.
33
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:57,495
Or, the best way to get people
34
00:01:57,580 --> 00:02:02,178
to want, need and love youis to just stop short.
35
00:02:02,261 --> 00:02:07,655
From Marilyn Monroeto Kurt Cobain, just...stop...short.
36
00:02:07,741 --> 00:02:12,338
Always...always leave themwanting more.
37
00:02:15,461 --> 00:02:18,215
- Debbie! Stella.
- No way!
38
00:02:18,301 --> 00:02:20,020
My washer's broke!
39
00:02:20,101 --> 00:02:21,581
Again?!
40
00:02:22,621 --> 00:02:24,614
- Liam!
- On me way.
41
00:02:24,702 --> 00:02:26,455
Maxine, Carl - towels!
42
00:02:26,542 --> 00:02:29,216
It's like being on Ward 3C
all over again.
43
00:02:29,302 --> 00:02:31,692
- Maternity?
- Geriatrics.
44
00:02:31,782 --> 00:02:33,978
Norma!
45
00:02:34,062 --> 00:02:36,816
Fucking noise in this place!
46
00:02:36,902 --> 00:02:39,019
Oh! Quick, let us through!
47
00:02:39,102 --> 00:02:42,652
Can't you shit in a carrier bag
in the yard, you fucking tinker?
48
00:02:42,742 --> 00:02:43,698
I'm not here for the bog.
49
00:02:43,782 --> 00:02:46,058
Washer's broke.
Sorry we disturbed you.
50
00:02:46,142 --> 00:02:47,213
Where are you going?
51
00:02:47,303 --> 00:02:48,817
Jockey.
52
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,622
No, but I made you breakfast!
53
00:03:11,504 --> 00:03:15,134
That's what we're gonna be talkingabout today - storage and shelving.
54
00:03:15,224 --> 00:03:16,544
So let's get down to it.
55
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,020
We're gonna start offwith panel boards.
56
00:03:20,104 --> 00:03:22,619
These pine panel boards,put these together,
57
00:03:22,704 --> 00:03:24,821
will come inat round about £7.50...
58
00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,736
- Shit off!
- Watch it, lad.
59
00:03:28,624 --> 00:03:30,104
What've you dug that out for?
60
00:03:30,184 --> 00:03:33,223
Me and Kell are making
us own porn, aren't we?
61
00:03:33,305 --> 00:03:34,864
Who'd wanna watch you two at it?
62
00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:36,618
We'll make a fortune!
63
00:03:36,705 --> 00:03:39,504
A picture is worth a thousand words.
64
00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:42,578
Make more than your
shit toss stories, anyway.
65
00:03:44,585 --> 00:03:46,702
Argh! I'll fucking kill ya!
66
00:03:46,785 --> 00:03:50,301
Pack it in, you two.
Stop arsing about!
67
00:03:50,385 --> 00:03:51,614
Paddy.
68
00:03:52,985 --> 00:03:54,386
Hiya! Sorry to...
69
00:03:54,466 --> 00:03:56,378
What the fuck you doin',
marching in here?
70
00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:58,697
Well, it was on the latch.
71
00:04:01,386 --> 00:04:03,503
Sorry, I didn't mean
to be any bother.
72
00:04:03,586 --> 00:04:06,465
I just wanted to drop this in.
73
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:09,345
Well, it is today, isn't it?
74
00:04:09,426 --> 00:04:10,746
Yeah, it is.
75
00:04:10,826 --> 00:04:13,182
Thought so. Here you are.
76
00:04:13,266 --> 00:04:20,219
"Past is history, future's a mystery,
present's a gift."
77
00:04:22,427 --> 00:04:25,579
That's what it should've said.
I'm not very good at icing.
78
00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,465
Thanks. It's dead nice of you, that.
79
00:04:27,547 --> 00:04:29,937
And, don't worry,
I made it with raspberry jam,
80
00:04:30,027 --> 00:04:32,178
cos I know Paddy
doesn't like strawberry.
81
00:04:35,387 --> 00:04:36,741
Is he around?
82
00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:39,821
- Any minute now.
- Right.
83
00:04:42,228 --> 00:04:43,457
Well...
84
00:04:43,548 --> 00:04:45,699
I'd best leave you to it.
85
00:04:49,668 --> 00:04:51,022
Shall I chuck it?
86
00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:52,827
Don't be so ungrateful!
87
00:04:52,908 --> 00:04:54,627
Take it over there.
88
00:04:54,708 --> 00:04:56,779
And if you drop it,
I'll fucking drop you.
89
00:05:01,389 --> 00:05:03,267
Dad'll be back, I know it.
90
00:05:03,349 --> 00:05:05,386
Course he will -
it's our anniversary.
91
00:05:05,469 --> 00:05:07,984
He'd walk across broken glass
and swim seven seas
92
00:05:08,069 --> 00:05:11,460
and fucking sprout
fucking wings if needs be.
93
00:05:11,549 --> 00:05:12,983
He'll be here.
94
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:23,629
Come on, will ya! I've got
a throat like a nun's chuff here.
95
00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:26,589
Whatever happened to
the 24-hour drinking culture?!
96
00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:28,024
Broken fucking dreams!
97
00:05:32,630 --> 00:05:33,780
CHEERING
98
00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:36,305
Thank fuck for that!
Come on, Luther, let us get past.
99
00:05:36,390 --> 00:05:38,143
- Sorry, Frank.
- What?
100
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:39,505
Invited guests only.
101
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,708
Private fucking function?
It's pissing down here!
102
00:05:45,391 --> 00:05:51,023
Oh, now it all adds up, dunnit?
Yeah, fucking Maguire conspiracy!
103
00:05:51,111 --> 00:05:54,183
We're not gonna take it!
This is our pub. We want it back!
104
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:57,582
Come on, are you with me?
Come on, are you with me?
105
00:06:00,471 --> 00:06:03,908
Yeah, fuck off, will you, spaceman.
106
00:06:07,472 --> 00:06:09,145
I couldn't get his lighter.
107
00:06:09,232 --> 00:06:11,064
Oh, never mind. You got his fags!
108
00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:16,104
Ta-da! I heard the Jockey
was gonna be closed.
109
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:17,228
You heard right.
110
00:06:21,792 --> 00:06:24,432
I thought...we could share 'em.
111
00:06:24,512 --> 00:06:26,868
You know what thought did, don't you?
112
00:06:55,194 --> 00:06:56,867
Fucking hell!
113
00:07:10,874 --> 00:07:15,233
Freemasons, golfers, magicians -
fucking Magic Circle cunts!
114
00:07:15,315 --> 00:07:17,466
Think they can just
put up a little sign
115
00:07:17,555 --> 00:07:19,387
saying "private" and that's it.
116
00:07:19,475 --> 00:07:25,824
They've got carte fucking blanche
to spend all night fisting each other!
117
00:07:25,915 --> 00:07:27,474
Private fucking function!
118
00:07:27,555 --> 00:07:29,228
Wedding anniversary, innit?
119
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,750
Yeah, Mandy's put us
on the guest list.
120
00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:33,064
Guest list?
121
00:07:33,155 --> 00:07:39,676
'..take you,
Francis Vernon Gallagher...
122
00:07:39,756 --> 00:07:42,794
'to be my lawful, wedded husband.'
123
00:07:42,876 --> 00:07:45,630
PANICKED GASPING
124
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,065
It's a free bar.
125
00:07:51,156 --> 00:07:52,385
HE MOUTHS SILENTLY
126
00:07:52,476 --> 00:07:56,265
- Where you off out?
- What's it got to do with you?
127
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:00,828
Shopping. You want owt?
128
00:08:00,917 --> 00:08:01,907
Fags.
129
00:08:01,997 --> 00:08:03,829
You can't get what I need.
130
00:08:13,637 --> 00:08:14,866
You want something, you.
131
00:08:16,357 --> 00:08:19,509
Whatever it is,
you're not getting it.
132
00:08:31,758 --> 00:08:34,148
Out! Salga!
133
00:08:34,238 --> 00:08:36,116
Come on, get the fuck out now!
134
00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:38,758
Argh!
135
00:08:38,838 --> 00:08:42,514
You fucking madman!
136
00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:43,794
What the fuck...
137
00:08:43,879 --> 00:08:47,031
Get the fuck away from the car!
Do you want your bag? Su bolsa?
138
00:08:47,119 --> 00:08:49,111
Desea su bolsa?
139
00:08:51,759 --> 00:08:53,432
How long have you been in there?
140
00:08:56,839 --> 00:08:58,956
Are you listening to me?
141
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,759
Are you fucking listening to me? Eh?
142
00:09:01,839 --> 00:09:03,831
Who the fuck are ya?
143
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,959
Cap!
144
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,350
Oh! Oh, yeah!
145
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,239
Oh! Ooh!
146
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,479
FUCK!
147
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,073
Oh!
148
00:09:35,401 --> 00:09:36,471
Oh, for fuck's sake!
149
00:09:36,561 --> 00:09:37,711
Hang on a sec.
150
00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:38,996
Oh...
151
00:09:39,081 --> 00:09:41,232
Ah... Oh!
152
00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:44,473
Ah! Ooh! Ooh!
153
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,632
SCREAMS LIKE
A NATIVE AMERICAN INDIAN
154
00:09:46,721 --> 00:09:48,872
Ah! Ah! Ah!
155
00:09:48,961 --> 00:09:51,431
AH! AH! AH!
156
00:09:59,322 --> 00:10:03,714
I could've been done for smuggling
or trafficking, whatever it is.
157
00:10:03,802 --> 00:10:05,919
You hid...a kid.
158
00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:09,117
INAUDlBLE
159
00:10:15,803 --> 00:10:16,953
MOUTHS
160
00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:21,718
You hid a fucking deaf kid
in the car!
161
00:10:21,803 --> 00:10:23,442
What am I supposed to do with him?
162
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,957
Peg? Peg!
163
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,155
Leave me alone.
164
00:10:33,243 --> 00:10:35,201
Read my lips and...
165
00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:43,198
Look, Danny...
166
00:10:43,284 --> 00:10:46,834
Your Auntie Peg asked me
to take you to your granddad's house.
167
00:10:49,404 --> 00:10:52,238
Fuck this.
I just meant to bring the car back.
168
00:10:52,324 --> 00:10:53,963
I didn't sign up for this.
169
00:10:57,205 --> 00:10:58,605
Do you think you can buy me?
170
00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:07,681
Come on.
171
00:11:10,485 --> 00:11:13,444
Oi. Oi! Oi, Danny!
172
00:11:13,525 --> 00:11:16,085
Oi, what you doing?
173
00:11:29,126 --> 00:11:30,606
That's the last one.
174
00:11:30,686 --> 00:11:32,757
- No.
- But...
175
00:11:32,846 --> 00:11:36,203
I do have another
little something for you.
176
00:11:36,286 --> 00:11:37,197
Oh, yeah?
177
00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:45,520
Whatever it is you want,
you're not getting it.
178
00:11:50,807 --> 00:11:52,958
PANTS FURIOUSLY
179
00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,001
You're not getting it!
180
00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:04,920
You're still not having it.
181
00:12:09,288 --> 00:12:11,041
That's it.
182
00:12:12,968 --> 00:12:14,561
GROANING
183
00:12:17,048 --> 00:12:20,644
# We're the very best at being bad
184
00:12:21,728 --> 00:12:24,607
# We're the very best
at being bad... #
185
00:12:31,329 --> 00:12:33,685
You all right there, darlin'?
186
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,358
No!
187
00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:39,963
No.
188
00:12:40,049 --> 00:12:42,689
Must be all right -
you gave it to me.
189
00:12:42,769 --> 00:12:45,443
PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
190
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,844
Sssh, sssh, sssh! Shush now.
191
00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:55,684
Please, stop.
192
00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:57,682
I can't.
193
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,443
I can't, not any more.
194
00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:00,930
I just...
195
00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:02,330
Please!
196
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:03,810
Stop.
197
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:09,328
It's OK. It's OK.
198
00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:12,324
I think it's time.
199
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,010
Time to stop.
200
00:13:24,731 --> 00:13:25,767
# Ooh-hoo
201
00:13:26,851 --> 00:13:28,444
# Nobody knows it
202
00:13:31,571 --> 00:13:33,244
# When I was down
203
00:13:33,332 --> 00:13:35,289
# I was your clown
204
00:13:35,372 --> 00:13:36,806
# Right from the start
205
00:13:36,892 --> 00:13:38,804
# I gave you my heart
206
00:13:38,892 --> 00:13:43,648
# Oh-oh, I gave you my heart... #
207
00:13:43,732 --> 00:13:44,927
Where the fuck is Dad?
208
00:13:45,012 --> 00:13:48,323
Still in Spain is my bet.
He'll be having a great time.
209
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:49,892
Well, he needs to be here.
210
00:13:49,972 --> 00:13:52,043
If only for her sake.
211
00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,564
- Thank you! Cheers.
- Thank you.
212
00:14:00,653 --> 00:14:03,612
Thank you very much. Our next number
is one of my favourite songs...
213
00:14:03,693 --> 00:14:06,891
- Don't Go Breakin' My Heart!
- Not again.
214
00:14:06,973 --> 00:14:08,202
Again!
215
00:14:08,293 --> 00:14:10,933
CHEERING
216
00:14:18,214 --> 00:14:19,364
Guest list only.
217
00:14:19,454 --> 00:14:21,764
It's all right, he's with me.
I didn't mean...
218
00:14:21,854 --> 00:14:23,334
Just a bottle, please, Karen.
219
00:14:23,414 --> 00:14:26,088
# Don't go breaking my heart
220
00:14:27,174 --> 00:14:28,494
# I couldn't if I tried... #
221
00:14:28,574 --> 00:14:31,612
My very own John Holmes!
222
00:14:36,134 --> 00:14:37,568
Shane?
223
00:14:40,935 --> 00:14:44,053
- That's the end!
- The wardrobe.
224
00:14:48,695 --> 00:14:50,049
Little bastard!
225
00:14:50,135 --> 00:14:51,455
I'll kill him.
226
00:14:51,535 --> 00:14:52,935
Die!
227
00:14:53,015 --> 00:14:57,009
PANTING AND MOANING FROM UPSTAIRS
228
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:01,014
I want a word wi' you!
229
00:15:03,016 --> 00:15:04,814
ALARM BLARES
230
00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:07,775
Suspected shoplifter
moving down escalator. Over.
231
00:15:07,856 --> 00:15:10,576
(Man) Could you give us a description?
Over.
232
00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:13,251
Suspect is heavily pregnant teenager.
233
00:15:13,336 --> 00:15:16,647
Black skirt, grey top, black jacket.
234
00:15:18,096 --> 00:15:19,450
'Scuse me, love. 'Scuse me!
235
00:15:19,536 --> 00:15:22,210
Help! My baby!
Someone's taken my baby!
236
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:25,096
- It's all right!
- I turned round and she was gone!
237
00:15:25,177 --> 00:15:27,646
- What's she look like?
- Um... A baby!
238
00:15:27,737 --> 00:15:29,729
- Pram?
- Yeah.
239
00:15:29,817 --> 00:15:31,854
What colour? Quickly!
240
00:15:31,937 --> 00:15:33,610
Black. Er...bluey,
241
00:15:33,697 --> 00:15:35,609
greeny, reddy?
242
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,537
Libby, where are you?
243
00:15:38,617 --> 00:15:40,574
OK, come on. Come on. Come on.
244
00:15:47,097 --> 00:15:49,090
MOANING AND PANTING
245
00:15:49,178 --> 00:15:51,329
I'm sorry.
246
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:55,775
I just wanted to know
what everyone's doing,
247
00:15:55,858 --> 00:15:59,408
you know, when they go
to their bedrooms and...
248
00:15:59,498 --> 00:16:02,058
MOANING AND PANTING FROM UPSTAIRS
249
00:16:04,138 --> 00:16:07,370
Right, well, I'll best be
getting back to the Jockey, then.
250
00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:09,415
I'll catch you up.
251
00:16:09,498 --> 00:16:12,537
As soon as we've had a little chat
about the birds and the bees.
252
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:16,649
MOANING AND PANTING
253
00:16:16,739 --> 00:16:21,370
Let me have it. Hey, Frank?
You gonna let me have it?
254
00:16:21,459 --> 00:16:24,770
- What is it? What do you want?
- Do you want me, Frank?
255
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,088
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
256
00:16:26,179 --> 00:16:27,533
Say it.
257
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:31,169
I fucking want you, Monica Gallagher!
Yeeaaahh!
258
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:37,612
Oh, don't stop. Don't stop, Mon!
What you stopped for? Whoa!
259
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:40,135
Whoa! What the fuck? Monica!
260
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:42,780
If you have all your sweets at once,
you'll be sick.
261
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:44,453
You what?
262
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:49,097
Always leave 'em wanting more!
263
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,419
- It must be on the other camera.
- This is the other camera.
264
00:16:56,501 --> 00:16:59,016
- We'll have to call the police.
- No!
265
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:01,581
Thank you.
266
00:17:02,701 --> 00:17:04,499
Hiya.
267
00:17:05,581 --> 00:17:07,459
I'm from next door...
268
00:17:09,341 --> 00:17:11,572
We've got a party to get to!
269
00:17:51,343 --> 00:17:52,777
GIGGLING
270
00:18:00,503 --> 00:18:02,063
What you doing?
271
00:18:02,144 --> 00:18:03,737
Letting the sunshine in!
272
00:18:03,824 --> 00:18:07,181
-You're mental.
- I'm not mental!
273
00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:11,178
He's a kid. You're trying
to seduce a poor little kid.
274
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:12,334
I wasn't trying to...
275
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,337
Hey, Mrs Mental,
curtsy before your queen,
276
00:18:15,424 --> 00:18:17,939
Queen Mental of the...
fucking mentalists!
277
00:18:20,344 --> 00:18:22,620
Oh, that's it, run away.
278
00:18:24,545 --> 00:18:25,899
I am not running away.
279
00:18:25,985 --> 00:18:28,500
I've got a party
to go to at the Jockey.
280
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:30,816
Why didn't you say so?
281
00:18:48,386 --> 00:18:50,503
Have you got hollow legs
or something?
282
00:18:52,106 --> 00:18:53,540
Cheeky twat.
283
00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:57,262
I what?
284
00:18:58,906 --> 00:19:00,818
I talk? Speak?
285
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:05,059
I speak sign. Do I speak sign?
286
00:19:05,146 --> 00:19:08,026
Why? Because I understand that?
287
00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,226
Come on, I got big plans.
288
00:19:17,307 --> 00:19:19,378
I made big plans tonight.
289
00:19:24,027 --> 00:19:27,623
Yeah, great, I win again.
That's another 500 quid you owe me.
290
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,742
You nutter.
291
00:19:54,949 --> 00:19:57,384
MUSIC: Insomnia by Faithless
292
00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:19,304
You all right?
293
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:22,549
TURNS VOLUME UP
294
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:25,065
You've been dreaming.
D'ya fall off a wall?
295
00:20:50,831 --> 00:20:54,108
And she says to the guy, "I'm here
about the clit-licking frog."
296
00:20:54,191 --> 00:20:56,945
And the guy turns around and goes,
"Bonjour, madame!"
297
00:20:57,031 --> 00:20:58,511
LAUGHTER
298
00:21:01,112 --> 00:21:03,866
Hey, can you sing
Over The Hills And Far Away?
299
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:09,752
I usually only like
that opera singer with cancer
300
00:21:09,832 --> 00:21:11,152
but this has grown on me.
301
00:21:11,232 --> 00:21:12,985
It's Paddy's favourite song.
302
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,746
# Cos nobody showed us... #
303
00:21:15,832 --> 00:21:17,949
TOILET FLUSHES
304
00:21:26,793 --> 00:21:28,227
There you are.
305
00:21:29,273 --> 00:21:32,345
- Y'all right?
- Yeah. You?
306
00:21:32,433 --> 00:21:33,913
Yeah.
307
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:37,953
- D'ya think Dad's all right?
- Yeah, he's all right.
308
00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:40,832
How do you know?
309
00:21:40,913 --> 00:21:43,508
I'd have heard if he'd been
kidnapped, tortured,
310
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:46,905
beaten or murdered.
I would hear these things.
311
00:21:49,154 --> 00:21:51,908
- So what is it, then?
- Another woman?
312
00:21:53,394 --> 00:21:55,784
- Happens all the time.
- Not to these two, it don't.
313
00:21:55,874 --> 00:21:57,866
They're solid as a rock.
314
00:22:01,114 --> 00:22:02,594
You don't...
315
00:22:02,674 --> 00:22:05,906
- He worships you.
- Could be another woman.
316
00:22:09,675 --> 00:22:12,031
Probably not, though, eh?
317
00:22:30,476 --> 00:22:31,910
There you go.
318
00:22:31,996 --> 00:22:35,433
Car and grandson delivered
safe and sound.
319
00:22:44,716 --> 00:22:45,786
Thank you.
320
00:22:49,676 --> 00:22:51,316
Thank you?
321
00:22:53,677 --> 00:22:57,034
No problem, mate.
You take care of yourself, yeah?
322
00:23:07,877 --> 00:23:09,311
Danny! Oi!
323
00:23:09,397 --> 00:23:10,513
Oi!
324
00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:13,032
Danny, how do you say goodbye?
325
00:23:27,238 --> 00:23:29,548
Are you Mormons?
326
00:23:30,598 --> 00:23:33,067
- No.
- You look like Mormons.
327
00:23:34,678 --> 00:23:37,558
Are you sure you're not Mormons?
328
00:23:37,639 --> 00:23:39,471
Yeah, I'm pretty sure, yeah.
329
00:23:39,559 --> 00:23:41,152
We don't want Mormons round here.
330
00:23:41,239 --> 00:23:45,028
Maybe her at number 28
will let you in
331
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:48,556
but stay away from mine, number 16.
332
00:23:48,639 --> 00:23:51,632
And don't bother number 14 either.
333
00:23:51,719 --> 00:23:54,871
They've got a backward kiddy
living with them.
334
00:23:54,959 --> 00:23:58,431
And there's no point in
him knocking on there -
335
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,433
the old fella that lived there
died last week.
336
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,711
- Your tea.
- Thanks.
337
00:24:20,761 --> 00:24:22,593
- All right, Mon?
- Going for a bath?
338
00:24:22,681 --> 00:24:25,241
Aye. Running late an 'all,
with the washer.
339
00:24:25,321 --> 00:24:26,437
Off anywhere nice?
340
00:24:26,521 --> 00:24:30,834
Just the Maguire do at the Jockey,
you know? Are you not going?
341
00:24:30,921 --> 00:24:32,640
Haven't been invited.
342
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,314
Just turn up. You'll be all reet.
343
00:24:34,401 --> 00:24:37,155
I'm sure nobody'll
notice you anyway.
344
00:24:45,322 --> 00:24:46,836
What was that for?
345
00:24:48,042 --> 00:24:49,476
Old times.
346
00:24:53,362 --> 00:24:55,672
Well, you'd best go and get ready.
347
00:25:00,682 --> 00:25:02,116
See ya!
348
00:25:03,402 --> 00:25:05,713
CHEERING
349
00:25:05,803 --> 00:25:09,353
Thank you very much.
Right then, we've now reached
350
00:25:09,443 --> 00:25:11,958
a very special point
in the celebrations.
351
00:25:12,043 --> 00:25:14,399
Oh, yes. Let's get
the happy couple up here.
352
00:25:14,483 --> 00:25:18,841
Come on, let's hear it
for Mimi and Patrick!
353
00:25:20,083 --> 00:25:22,314
Here she is! Come on.
354
00:25:22,403 --> 00:25:24,554
Here she is, darling.
355
00:25:24,643 --> 00:25:26,441
She's a little cracker!
356
00:25:26,523 --> 00:25:29,642
Brace yourself, Mimi.
We've got a little surprise for you.
357
00:25:30,764 --> 00:25:32,881
CHURCH BELLS RING ON VIDEO
358
00:25:32,964 --> 00:25:36,480
So where's the lucky fella, then?
Where is he?
359
00:25:36,564 --> 00:25:38,396
Don't be shy, Patrick!
360
00:25:38,484 --> 00:25:40,521
Where are you, Patrick?
361
00:25:45,924 --> 00:25:48,120
SOBS
362
00:26:03,805 --> 00:26:06,639
That's not the angle
WE filmed it from.
363
00:26:06,725 --> 00:26:08,205
Who else would have filmed us?!
364
00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:10,521
Ah.
365
00:26:11,725 --> 00:26:13,638
He wouldn't have done it on his own.
366
00:26:13,726 --> 00:26:15,763
Who else would have helped him?
367
00:26:19,486 --> 00:26:21,045
Proper dirty.
368
00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:35,724
I was only having a laugh! I was gonna
give you a cut and everything.
369
00:26:35,807 --> 00:26:37,207
Shane, please!
370
00:26:37,327 --> 00:26:39,205
I'm getting a headache.
371
00:26:52,087 --> 00:26:53,521
What time is it?
372
00:27:00,208 --> 00:27:02,120
Shall we?
373
00:27:02,208 --> 00:27:04,439
There's no point staying here.
374
00:27:15,808 --> 00:27:17,447
Where is everybody?
375
00:27:19,449 --> 00:27:20,644
We could take it all.
376
00:27:20,729 --> 00:27:24,325
Yeah, if we could walk
through locked doors.
377
00:27:24,409 --> 00:27:27,720
Every single thing.
We could fill your house with it!
378
00:27:27,809 --> 00:27:29,960
DOOR OPENS
379
00:27:30,049 --> 00:27:31,483
Quick, someone's coming!
380
00:28:04,451 --> 00:28:05,851
Off out?
381
00:28:05,931 --> 00:28:07,684
Just getting some bread.
382
00:28:07,771 --> 00:28:09,205
OK.
383
00:28:15,251 --> 00:28:18,164
See you later, kid.
384
00:28:38,732 --> 00:28:42,692
# Home is where the heart is
385
00:28:44,892 --> 00:28:49,410
# I'm so glad you found your way
386
00:28:52,653 --> 00:28:57,011
# And should you find yourself
in disarray
387
00:28:59,133 --> 00:29:03,412
# I've got a place in my heart
where you can stay
388
00:29:06,893 --> 00:29:11,446
# I made a space in my heart
where you may want to lay #
389
00:29:28,334 --> 00:29:29,370
Hello?
390
00:29:31,614 --> 00:29:32,890
Hello?
391
00:29:33,975 --> 00:29:35,489
Ian!
392
00:29:35,575 --> 00:29:38,010
- Yeah! You all right?
- I knew you'd come back.
393
00:29:38,095 --> 00:29:40,735
I'm only here for a couple of days.
394
00:29:40,815 --> 00:29:43,011
- This is Danny.
- All right.
395
00:29:43,095 --> 00:29:45,052
He's deaf.
396
00:29:45,135 --> 00:29:47,127
I've got an Xbox.
397
00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:52,367
There's a deaf girl in our school.
398
00:29:54,855 --> 00:29:56,290
Wanna kill some zombies?
399
00:30:01,816 --> 00:30:03,489
Where is everyone?
400
00:30:03,576 --> 00:30:05,056
The Jockey.
401
00:30:06,456 --> 00:30:07,492
Course.
402
00:30:07,576 --> 00:30:10,648
Except Debbie -
she's gone shopping with Max.
403
00:30:12,056 --> 00:30:13,012
Who?
404
00:30:13,096 --> 00:30:16,533
And Mum - she's nipped out
for some bread.
405
00:30:22,617 --> 00:30:23,846
Bread?
406
00:30:23,937 --> 00:30:25,610
KNOCKING
407
00:30:27,977 --> 00:30:29,457
Hang on!
408
00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:33,167
- Ian? What are you doing here?
- I heard you banging.
409
00:30:33,257 --> 00:30:34,532
In Ibiza?
410
00:30:34,617 --> 00:30:36,176
Monica's gone.
411
00:30:36,257 --> 00:30:37,452
Gone?
412
00:30:37,537 --> 00:30:40,815
Get everyone from the pub.
Tell 'em Monica's gone for bread.
413
00:30:40,898 --> 00:30:42,252
Go on, quick!
414
00:30:51,618 --> 00:30:53,052
Mimi...
415
00:30:58,298 --> 00:30:59,618
Monica...
416
00:30:59,698 --> 00:31:01,655
She wouldn't just go
like that, not again.
417
00:31:01,738 --> 00:31:03,856
Wonder if it's a bird
or a fella this time.
418
00:31:03,939 --> 00:31:06,215
CRIES
419
00:31:06,299 --> 00:31:10,532
Past is history, future's a mystery.
420
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,976
She's not fit to be called a mother.
421
00:31:37,140 --> 00:31:39,132
Well, we all knew
she'd fuck off again.
422
00:31:39,220 --> 00:31:40,336
Ssh!
423
00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:41,376
He needs to be told!
424
00:31:41,460 --> 00:31:44,612
What, like Deaf Boy needs
to be told his granddad's dead?
425
00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:45,690
BABY CRIES
426
00:31:45,780 --> 00:31:47,534
What am I supposed to do,
just tell him?
427
00:31:47,621 --> 00:31:49,180
"Good luck, Danny. Fuck off."
428
00:31:49,261 --> 00:31:50,695
It's what you did to us.
429
00:31:50,781 --> 00:31:52,852
Piss off!
That's completely different.
430
00:31:52,941 --> 00:31:57,458
It's good that you're back, kid,
you know, for...Stella and that.
431
00:31:57,541 --> 00:32:00,978
I'm not staying, and I'm not gonna
be stuck here looking after kids.
432
00:32:01,061 --> 00:32:03,417
- But I should?
- They're your kids!
433
00:32:03,501 --> 00:32:05,936
What was that for?!
434
00:32:07,461 --> 00:32:09,055
He said Mum's gone.
435
00:32:12,022 --> 00:32:15,254
- And you told him...?
- His granddad's dead.
436
00:32:20,422 --> 00:32:21,651
Danny!
437
00:32:22,702 --> 00:32:26,776
Danny! It's all right.
It's all right.
438
00:32:26,862 --> 00:32:28,342
It's all right.
439
00:32:30,462 --> 00:32:33,137
It's all right.
440
00:32:40,183 --> 00:32:41,583
Come here.
441
00:32:43,343 --> 00:32:46,575
Wouldn't it be great
if all the clothes in here were ours?
442
00:32:46,663 --> 00:32:49,258
It'd be like the best thing
in the world ever.
443
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:54,623
Yeah, but when and where
would we wear any of it?
444
00:32:54,704 --> 00:32:57,822
Down the Jockey
or outside the chip shop?
445
00:32:57,904 --> 00:32:58,860
Mmm.
446
00:32:58,944 --> 00:33:01,413
It's just all so...
447
00:33:01,504 --> 00:33:04,417
- Not us?
- Yeah, it's not us.
448
00:33:04,504 --> 00:33:06,257
Well, someone must like this stuff.
449
00:33:09,864 --> 00:33:12,015
Someone does.
450
00:33:18,545 --> 00:33:20,980
I don't want to see you
here again, all right?
451
00:33:21,065 --> 00:33:22,704
Don't worry, you won't.
452
00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:28,024
Has anyone ever told you
453
00:33:28,105 --> 00:33:29,744
- you look like one of the Sugababes?
- No.
454
00:33:29,825 --> 00:33:30,895
Well, you do.
455
00:33:30,985 --> 00:33:33,136
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
456
00:33:33,225 --> 00:33:35,979
If you went a little bit higher
with your blusher,
457
00:33:36,065 --> 00:33:37,704
you'd get more definition.
458
00:33:37,785 --> 00:33:39,584
Max!
459
00:33:42,506 --> 00:33:44,498
LAUGHTER
460
00:33:52,546 --> 00:33:53,662
Did you know?
461
00:33:53,746 --> 00:33:55,260
'Kin' hell!
462
00:33:55,346 --> 00:33:56,985
- Did ya?
- What?
463
00:33:57,066 --> 00:33:59,183
Paddy and Monica. Did you know?
464
00:33:59,266 --> 00:34:02,499
- Paddy and Monica?
- They're together, aren't they?
465
00:34:04,067 --> 00:34:06,263
Paddy...and Monica?
466
00:34:07,307 --> 00:34:09,139
Paddy and Monica?
467
00:34:11,587 --> 00:34:13,897
Paddy and Monica?!
468
00:34:26,188 --> 00:34:28,862
I'm not coming in. I can't.
469
00:34:28,948 --> 00:34:33,625
I fly back out tomorrow and...
I don't want to do this, sorry.
470
00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:37,543
I've got to get off, be myself -
no responsibility, you know?
471
00:34:42,308 --> 00:34:46,189
Yeah, you did that. You might
well look sheepish, you twat.
472
00:34:49,309 --> 00:34:50,265
What?
473
00:34:52,349 --> 00:34:54,784
I'll call your auntie
and tell her what happened.
474
00:34:54,869 --> 00:34:57,020
You take care of yourself,
all right?
475
00:35:04,109 --> 00:35:05,225
Yeah, and you!
476
00:35:06,629 --> 00:35:07,859
Yeah, whatever.
477
00:35:07,950 --> 00:35:09,589
Whatever.
478
00:35:22,230 --> 00:35:24,267
She's always been a bit...
479
00:35:24,350 --> 00:35:25,704
loose.
480
00:35:27,110 --> 00:35:30,787
I think she had a thing with
the midwife when Carl was born.
481
00:35:30,871 --> 00:35:32,988
Paddy.
482
00:35:33,071 --> 00:35:35,631
Paddy had a "thing" once...
483
00:35:36,871 --> 00:35:39,864
-..before we were married.
- But you were together?
484
00:35:39,951 --> 00:35:40,987
Yeah.
485
00:35:41,071 --> 00:35:44,701
I don't think he even kissed
this other girl or anything...
486
00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:47,351
but he...
487
00:35:47,431 --> 00:35:49,024
he thought about it.
488
00:35:50,671 --> 00:35:54,268
He swore to me he wasn't interested
in her, but I smelt it on him.
489
00:35:55,872 --> 00:35:58,103
Then I said to him,
"You ever think about it again,
490
00:35:58,192 --> 00:36:01,151
"think about another woman,
491
00:36:01,232 --> 00:36:05,465
"then I just want you to go with her.
Don't ever come back, just go."
492
00:36:11,832 --> 00:36:13,232
He's not with Monica.
493
00:36:14,913 --> 00:36:15,869
How d'you know?
494
00:36:17,473 --> 00:36:20,944
I bet she'd want to be with him,
but Paddy wouldn't want to be with her.
495
00:36:24,033 --> 00:36:25,467
You're a woman.
496
00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:29,665
Monica's a child.
497
00:36:46,394 --> 00:36:48,351
ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
498
00:38:10,878 --> 00:38:15,236
Oh aye, where the hell
have yous two been, eh?
499
00:38:15,318 --> 00:38:16,638
Er...shopping.
500
00:38:18,358 --> 00:38:19,758
Did we miss anything?
501
00:38:22,238 --> 00:38:23,228
No.
502
00:38:34,639 --> 00:38:36,995
(Screaming) NO-O-O-O!
503
00:38:40,319 --> 00:38:42,276
BABY CRIES
504
00:38:48,199 --> 00:38:50,669
I'm that hungry I could eat me face.
505
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,632
Chips!
506
00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:54,676
Leave it, Carl!
507
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,514
- It's mine, Norma!
- It's the last slice.
508
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,353
There's never any bread!
509
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:08,874
Airport, yeah?
510
00:39:16,601 --> 00:39:18,433
LOUD MUSIC ON RADIO
511
00:39:18,521 --> 00:39:21,161
Can you turn it down, mate?
512
00:39:21,241 --> 00:39:22,436
'Scuse me!
513
00:40:03,763 --> 00:40:04,799
Danny?
514
00:40:06,843 --> 00:40:09,039
Not that you can hear me...
515
00:40:10,163 --> 00:40:11,563
What am I supposed to do?
516
00:40:43,845 --> 00:40:45,120
Fuck!
517
00:40:46,245 --> 00:40:47,395
FUCK!
518
00:40:50,405 --> 00:40:54,001
What the fuck are you doing,
you mental bastard?!
519
00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,964
You completely shit me up.
520
00:40:58,325 --> 00:41:00,715
I thought you were fucking dead,
you dickhead.
521
00:41:00,805 --> 00:41:03,081
Yeah, you're a dickhead.
522
00:41:04,726 --> 00:41:08,003
I can guess what that means.
What are you doing?
523
00:41:08,086 --> 00:41:09,315
A bath?
524
00:41:09,406 --> 00:41:11,398
What, lying under water?
525
00:41:16,126 --> 00:41:18,595
Safe? You feel safe?
526
00:41:25,046 --> 00:41:27,846
Get dressed.
I'll get you something to eat.
527
00:41:41,527 --> 00:41:42,961
You're welcome.
528
00:41:45,647 --> 00:41:47,320
You're welcome?
529
00:41:49,808 --> 00:41:51,686
You're welcome?
530
00:41:54,208 --> 00:41:56,882
It's not for ever, d'you understand?
531
00:41:56,968 --> 00:41:58,687
I spoke to your Aunty Peg,
532
00:41:58,768 --> 00:42:03,365
and as soon as she can get someone
to take over from me, I'm off, OK?
533
00:42:05,528 --> 00:42:08,407
I don't want to be stuck with you
for the rest of my life.
534
00:42:10,608 --> 00:42:12,760
You don't want to be stuck with me?
535
00:42:13,849 --> 00:42:15,203
You're such a twat.
536
00:42:29,049 --> 00:42:30,085
Liam!
537
00:42:30,169 --> 00:42:31,603
On me way.
538
00:42:31,689 --> 00:42:33,567
BABY CRIES
539
00:42:35,850 --> 00:42:37,125
Y'all right there?
540
00:42:39,970 --> 00:42:42,929
- All right, kid?
- Yeah, I am now.
541
00:42:43,010 --> 00:42:46,640
Whoa, whoa, whoa, give us a break.
I've had a right night of it.
542
00:42:46,730 --> 00:42:49,370
Yeah, and morning!
Where've you been?
543
00:42:51,650 --> 00:42:52,845
Erasure?
544
00:42:52,930 --> 00:42:54,728
CHEERING
545
00:42:59,491 --> 00:43:01,164
Nowhere.
546
00:43:01,251 --> 00:43:04,722
She's had her breakfast and lunch.
Just needs her nappy doing.
547
00:43:04,811 --> 00:43:08,009
Aw, I'm shattered,
can someone else do it?
548
00:43:11,131 --> 00:43:13,407
What are you skriking at?
549
00:43:42,933 --> 00:43:45,971
(Monica) We all want to be rememberedafter we've gone, don't we?'
550
00:43:46,973 --> 00:43:48,692
Good night.
551
00:43:49,973 --> 00:43:53,649
And if you haven't got anyonewho'll put a plaque on a bench for you,
552
00:43:53,733 --> 00:43:55,725
then you've got to work harder.
553
00:43:59,373 --> 00:44:02,366
You've got to learnto do the right thing.
554
00:44:04,334 --> 00:44:07,133
Care for people, help them.
555
00:44:12,374 --> 00:44:13,854
Cos if you don't...
556
00:44:13,934 --> 00:44:18,406
Then maybe no-onewill remember you.
557
00:44:24,654 --> 00:44:26,294
Ah, you filthy fuck, you.
558
00:44:27,575 --> 00:44:30,807
Go on, get the fuck out.
I'll kick your arse, you filthy git.
559
00:44:30,895 --> 00:44:34,445
COUGHING
Go on, get the fuck out!
560
00:44:47,936 --> 00:44:49,973
CAR HORNS TOOT
561
00:44:59,576 --> 00:45:01,135
CHILDREN SING
562
00:45:01,216 --> 00:45:03,606
# We could've been anything
that we wanted to be
563
00:45:03,696 --> 00:45:07,929
# But don't it make
your heart glad... #
564
00:45:08,016 --> 00:45:09,895
SCREAMS
565
00:45:12,617 --> 00:45:16,327
# We're the very best
at being bad... #
566
00:45:26,137 --> 00:45:29,574
Maybe no-one will careif you lived or died.
567
00:45:29,657 --> 00:45:31,137
SEAGULLS CRY
568
00:45:31,217 --> 00:45:32,811
Do your bit,
569
00:45:32,898 --> 00:45:36,050
make yourself worth somethingand then get out quick
570
00:45:36,138 --> 00:45:37,652
before they take the piss.
571
00:45:37,738 --> 00:45:41,288
And always, always...
572
00:45:41,378 --> 00:45:45,088
leave 'em wanting more.
573
00:46:27,380 --> 00:46:29,656
PANTING
574
00:46:29,740 --> 00:46:31,220
Oh! Oh!
575
00:46:31,300 --> 00:46:34,418
Oh! Oh! Oh!
576
00:46:38,700 --> 00:46:40,021
Oh! Oh!
577
00:46:40,101 --> 00:46:42,058
Ohh!
39937
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