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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,606 --> 00:00:07,203 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 2 00:00:07,286 --> 00:00:10,757 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 3 00:00:10,846 --> 00:00:14,203 they were given by him upstairs 4 00:00:14,286 --> 00:00:18,280 and kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:21,325 What sounds on earth could ever replace 6 00:00:21,406 --> 00:00:24,558 kids needing money or wives in your face? 7 00:00:24,646 --> 00:00:27,036 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 8 00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:31,120 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented 9 00:00:31,206 --> 00:00:36,964 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 10 00:00:37,046 --> 00:00:40,596 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 11 00:00:40,686 --> 00:00:44,839 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 12 00:00:44,926 --> 00:00:49,001 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 13 00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:56,527 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 14 00:00:56,607 --> 00:00:58,963 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 15 00:00:59,047 --> 00:01:02,882 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 16 00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:06,927 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 17 00:01:07,007 --> 00:01:08,202 FRANK LAUGHS 18 00:01:08,287 --> 00:01:10,597 Scatter. 19 00:01:10,687 --> 00:01:12,326 Party! 20 00:01:17,647 --> 00:01:20,924 (Paddy) Used to know this fella - Bobby Cash Machine we called him. 21 00:01:21,007 --> 00:01:26,241 Taxi driver. Terrible drinker as well, every sense of the word. 22 00:01:26,327 --> 00:01:29,365 He was forever blacking out, waking up in the weirdest of places. 23 00:01:29,447 --> 00:01:32,679 He once woke up in the basement of Manchester Cathedral. 24 00:01:32,767 --> 00:01:34,406 No idea how he got there. 25 00:01:36,727 --> 00:01:38,605 Aye. The demon drink. 26 00:01:38,687 --> 00:01:41,282 That's a terrible thing, so it is. 27 00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,485 KNOCKING AT DOOR 28 00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:46,763 Debbie! 29 00:01:46,847 --> 00:01:48,440 Get that! 30 00:01:49,927 --> 00:01:51,725 KNOCKING AT DOOR 31 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,038 Frank! 32 00:01:55,367 --> 00:01:56,801 KNOCKING AT DOOR 33 00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:06,997 - Yeah? - Ah, Phillip Gallagher in? 34 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:09,522 - No, he doesn't live here any more. - Ian Gallagher? 35 00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:10,119 Uh-uh. 36 00:02:10,207 --> 00:02:12,642 I presume Deborah Gallagher has moved as well. 37 00:02:12,727 --> 00:02:14,639 Oh, no, she's here. I'll give her a shout. 38 00:02:14,727 --> 00:02:17,003 No need. Just need to see some proof, plus, 39 00:02:17,087 --> 00:02:21,639 there's a Liam Gallagher and a Stella Gallagher as well, correct? 40 00:02:21,727 --> 00:02:23,879 Can I ask what this is about? 41 00:02:23,968 --> 00:02:26,005 Ah. Bernard White. Benefits officer. 42 00:02:26,088 --> 00:02:28,603 Oh. Just a minute, please. 43 00:02:28,688 --> 00:02:31,601 - Frank, benefits! - What? 44 00:02:31,688 --> 00:02:33,407 - At the door. - Don't answer it. 45 00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:37,243 Like fucking vampires - they can't get you if you don't let 'em in. 46 00:02:37,328 --> 00:02:41,880 It's too late, and I told him Lip doesn't live here any more, or Ian. 47 00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:42,560 So? 48 00:02:42,648 --> 00:02:45,368 So we're still collecting benefits for 'em. 49 00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:46,598 That's not good, is it? 50 00:02:47,808 --> 00:02:51,199 (American) Got a dead man walking here. And his wife. 51 00:02:51,288 --> 00:02:53,598 Dead wife walking, too. 52 00:02:58,168 --> 00:03:02,048 Hiya, I'm the, er, man of the house. 53 00:03:02,128 --> 00:03:03,847 Vernon Francis Gallagher? 54 00:03:03,928 --> 00:03:05,760 Yeah, look... 55 00:03:05,848 --> 00:03:09,558 What the wife was just saying, just pay no attention to her. 56 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,207 She's totally fucking gone. 57 00:03:11,288 --> 00:03:14,281 In days gone by, we'd have just dragged her down the nuthouse. 58 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:17,600 Now it's all care in the community and all that. 59 00:03:17,688 --> 00:03:19,008 - Mr Gallagher. - Yeah. 60 00:03:19,088 --> 00:03:21,922 Benefit theft is a crime, not a joking matter. 61 00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:26,568 No. No, but look, can't we just chalk this one down 62 00:03:26,648 --> 00:03:32,201 to a sort of clerical error, bloody computers, that sort of thing? 63 00:03:58,088 --> 00:03:59,602 What the fuck? 64 00:04:00,929 --> 00:04:02,079 Mornin', Meena. 65 00:04:03,169 --> 00:04:04,842 How are you? 66 00:04:04,929 --> 00:04:08,047 Well, a little bit tired because of the party last night 67 00:04:08,129 --> 00:04:10,689 and sort of pissed off because there was this cute guy, 68 00:04:10,769 --> 00:04:13,489 only Debbie got in there first and he was all over her, 69 00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:16,562 but then she pulled her "I'm not that sort of girl" thing. 70 00:04:16,649 --> 00:04:18,163 So he ended up buggering off, 71 00:04:18,249 --> 00:04:21,799 which was pretty pointless, because she more or less ruined a good thing. 72 00:04:23,049 --> 00:04:25,644 And did you actually want to know that, 73 00:04:25,729 --> 00:04:27,766 or were you just making boring conversation? 74 00:04:27,849 --> 00:04:29,283 Boring conversation. 75 00:04:31,249 --> 00:04:33,161 What are your plans for today, then? 76 00:04:33,249 --> 00:04:37,528 Sit around on our sofa, feet up, watching our TV, eating our food, 77 00:04:37,609 --> 00:04:39,089 like every other day? 78 00:04:39,169 --> 00:04:41,638 No. I've got places to go, people to see. 79 00:04:41,729 --> 00:04:43,368 Yeah, course you do(!) 80 00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:47,403 Right, so let me recap. 81 00:04:47,489 --> 00:04:50,368 You're claiming for five children who no longer live here. 82 00:04:50,449 --> 00:04:52,042 Neither of you are actively seeking work. 83 00:04:52,129 --> 00:04:55,281 And despite what you said on your form, Mr Gallagher, 84 00:04:55,369 --> 00:04:57,838 you're not confined to a wheelchair. 85 00:04:57,929 --> 00:05:00,683 Disability - it's more a state of mind, innit? 86 00:05:00,769 --> 00:05:04,160 - (Monica) Are we in trouble? - I think that's safe to say. 87 00:05:04,249 --> 00:05:05,729 She was a lesbian. 88 00:05:05,809 --> 00:05:07,289 Sorry? 89 00:05:07,369 --> 00:05:11,124 For a while. Moved out on me, living with that thing in the yard. 90 00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:12,006 And? 91 00:05:14,529 --> 00:05:16,919 Dunno, just, you know... 92 00:05:17,009 --> 00:05:18,409 thought it might help... 93 00:05:18,489 --> 00:05:21,288 get some compensation for it. Oh, that's right, 94 00:05:21,369 --> 00:05:22,519 just walk away! 95 00:05:22,609 --> 00:05:24,043 You'll be hearing from us. 96 00:05:24,129 --> 00:05:27,600 Go on, back to your nice life and your wife and kids. Want the shirt off me back? 97 00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:28,964 You can fuckin' have it, 98 00:05:29,049 --> 00:05:33,282 any fuckin' dreams I've had lately, and me kid's nappies. Benefits! 99 00:05:33,369 --> 00:05:34,849 Benefits! 100 00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:38,560 Look around ya. D'you see any fuckin' benefits? 101 00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:42,439 You know what you are? A total fuckin' inadequate. 102 00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:45,568 Yeah, Germans had a word for people like you. Hitler! 103 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:52,646 HE SOBS 104 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,523 Are you... 105 00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,841 crying? 106 00:05:57,930 --> 00:06:00,240 It's just...what you said... 107 00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:03,562 about being inadequate...you're right. 108 00:06:03,650 --> 00:06:05,721 Just like me wife said... 109 00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,563 when she left me this morning... 110 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:09,323 Bloody hell. 111 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,641 On me fucking birthday, too. 112 00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:14,245 - Did she at least get you a present? - Yeah. 113 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,447 There you go. Silver lining. 114 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:20,001 A videotape of her doing the bastard next door. 115 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:22,321 Christ on a bike! Hey! 116 00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:24,003 Wait a sec, wait a sec. 117 00:06:24,090 --> 00:06:28,403 Can't let your birthday go by without at least having a drink, can you? 118 00:06:28,490 --> 00:06:33,087 C'mon, you and me, no-man's-land, pipes of peace. 119 00:06:33,170 --> 00:06:34,570 Hey, c'mon, eh? 120 00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:39,605 Just wait. I'll just get me jacket. Just wait...there. 121 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,768 HE LAUGHS 122 00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,762 Bring it on, sister! 123 00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,685 Mmm! Great news. 124 00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:06,490 Fat Donny's wife found out about him and that lap dancer. 125 00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:09,130 Mmm. She took it dead badly, too. 126 00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:13,526 Aaaaaargh! 127 00:07:14,691 --> 00:07:16,569 Apparently, he was rushed to hospital 128 00:07:16,651 --> 00:07:18,847 with Little Donny stuck in a bag of frozen peas. 129 00:07:18,931 --> 00:07:21,366 - You know what that means, right? - What? 130 00:07:21,451 --> 00:07:23,886 Well, he played right-back, didn't he? I'm off the bench! 131 00:07:23,971 --> 00:07:26,088 Terrible fuckin' news, more like. You're shit. 132 00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:27,571 I'm not! 133 00:07:27,651 --> 00:07:30,246 Can't aim for arseholes. And he's got no positional sense! 134 00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:33,051 Shane, shut the fuck up and unpack the shopping. 135 00:07:33,131 --> 00:07:34,360 Eugh. 136 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:36,321 Micky... 137 00:07:36,411 --> 00:07:39,529 - Yeah? - The key to defending is zonal marking, 138 00:07:39,611 --> 00:07:41,921 none of this headless-chicken shite. 139 00:07:42,011 --> 00:07:43,809 Mark your territory. 140 00:07:46,851 --> 00:07:51,084 Never mind. Ask your dad to explain it to you when he gets home. 141 00:08:00,331 --> 00:08:01,924 Maureen? 142 00:08:02,011 --> 00:08:04,242 Patrick. 143 00:08:06,651 --> 00:08:08,404 You're awake. 144 00:08:10,971 --> 00:08:14,043 What the hell's going on here? 145 00:08:14,131 --> 00:08:16,009 You're full of surprises. 146 00:08:17,971 --> 00:08:19,371 Now, c'mon, you can untie me now. 147 00:08:19,451 --> 00:08:23,206 Not that I'm complaining about the kinky stuff, it's just... 148 00:08:23,291 --> 00:08:26,250 I don't even remember how I got here. 149 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:29,130 You had a little much to drink. 150 00:08:34,331 --> 00:08:36,368 BOTH LAUGHING 151 00:08:38,731 --> 00:08:42,520 So I thought it best you stayed the night. 152 00:08:42,611 --> 00:08:43,806 What's this about? 153 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:46,531 I'm hoping you can tell me, Patrick. 154 00:08:46,611 --> 00:08:48,204 That's really the point. 155 00:08:50,372 --> 00:08:51,931 That you understand. 156 00:08:55,172 --> 00:08:57,209 What do you think this is about? 157 00:09:00,252 --> 00:09:02,403 Got to admit, 158 00:09:02,492 --> 00:09:04,802 darlin', you got me stumped here. How about a clue? 159 00:09:06,452 --> 00:09:07,602 Oooh. 160 00:09:09,532 --> 00:09:13,606 C'mon, Maureen, untie me now. Enough is enough, huh? 161 00:09:16,732 --> 00:09:18,883 Maureen! 162 00:09:18,972 --> 00:09:20,486 Come on! 163 00:09:26,412 --> 00:09:27,607 Oi! 164 00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:38,564 Appreciate this, Mr Gallagher. Sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional there. 165 00:09:38,652 --> 00:09:39,688 No worries. 166 00:09:39,772 --> 00:09:44,767 It just gets harder to keep things together, you know. Turning 40. 167 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,650 The wife leaving. 168 00:09:47,852 --> 00:09:52,768 The job. I'm ashamed of meself - what I've become. 169 00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,162 But it's never too late to change, though, is it? 170 00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:59,531 A man in a position like yours has got influence, power, 171 00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:01,331 you know, to help folk, 172 00:10:01,412 --> 00:10:04,723 like, you know, maybe people who made a mistake on their benefit form. 173 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,168 I can't ignore fraud, Mr Gallagher. 174 00:10:07,252 --> 00:10:09,926 What?! Come on, I'm joking... 175 00:10:10,012 --> 00:10:12,368 just talking generally here. 176 00:10:12,452 --> 00:10:15,524 God, what kind of scum do you think I am? 177 00:10:15,612 --> 00:10:18,252 Sorry. I didn't mean to... you know, snap. 178 00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:21,291 S'all right. No harm, no foul. 179 00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:23,045 Er, two pints, Karen. 180 00:10:23,132 --> 00:10:25,932 - Same again? - Yes, thank you... 181 00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:27,925 Frank. 182 00:10:32,813 --> 00:10:34,964 (And two Es, Karen.) 183 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,529 The Buddhists are the fucking same, you know. 184 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,970 I mean, they don't give a diffing, they're going to a better place. 185 00:10:51,053 --> 00:10:52,487 They're not scared of death. 186 00:10:52,573 --> 00:10:55,407 So me pubes are going grey and I'm nearer the end than the beginning. 187 00:10:55,493 --> 00:10:57,928 But it's what you're remembered for, innit? 188 00:10:58,013 --> 00:11:03,930 Like Geldof - shit songs, but he got the kiddies fed. It's a proper legacy. 189 00:11:04,013 --> 00:11:05,891 Love, love... 190 00:11:05,973 --> 00:11:08,169 love, love... 191 00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:09,448 love. 192 00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:12,571 Yes... Yes... 193 00:11:12,653 --> 00:11:13,928 - Love. - Yes. 194 00:11:14,013 --> 00:11:15,845 Yes. Yes! 195 00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:17,492 Yes! 196 00:11:23,373 --> 00:11:25,569 What the fuck you staring at, you pervert? 197 00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:34,602 I think I'm drunk! 198 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,842 MANIC LAUGHING 199 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,486 I think I understand it all now, Frank. 200 00:11:42,573 --> 00:11:45,452 - Yeah? - It's all about the love. 201 00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:47,764 You, me, everybody. 202 00:11:47,853 --> 00:11:49,333 Love. 203 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:51,211 Love it is, Bernard. 204 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,047 The treacle that binds us all together. 205 00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:01,204 Why did she do that? 206 00:12:01,293 --> 00:12:02,967 I just wanted to share my love. 207 00:12:03,054 --> 00:12:06,365 - I just need love. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, tiger. 208 00:12:06,454 --> 00:12:11,370 Love you need and love you shall have. 209 00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:13,093 All about the love, brother. 210 00:12:13,174 --> 00:12:18,294 All about the love. And then we can see how you can help your fellow man. 211 00:12:18,374 --> 00:12:19,854 Yes. 212 00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:22,210 Thank you, brother. 213 00:12:25,814 --> 00:12:28,204 Christ, I hope we don't end up married to that. 214 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,125 That's nice. Is it real? 215 00:12:33,214 --> 00:12:35,604 Uh-huh. A gift. 216 00:12:35,694 --> 00:12:37,094 Jesus, he must be loaded. 217 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,052 Treats me like a princess. 218 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,045 Nice. 219 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:44,094 - Yeah. A bit much sometimes. - What d'you mean? 220 00:12:44,174 --> 00:12:45,574 Nothing. 221 00:12:45,654 --> 00:12:47,532 How's Jamie? 222 00:12:47,614 --> 00:12:49,094 Yeah. Better. 223 00:12:49,174 --> 00:12:52,212 "True love travels on a gravel road," and all that shite. 224 00:12:52,294 --> 00:12:54,411 We'll be all right, though. No worries. 225 00:12:57,054 --> 00:12:59,444 We keep it simple and we keep it tight. 226 00:12:59,534 --> 00:13:02,254 Get an early lead, make them work for the ball. 227 00:13:02,334 --> 00:13:04,894 Play it out to the wings and stretch them at the back. 228 00:13:04,974 --> 00:13:09,093 - Micky. Hello? - Right, yeah...no probs. 229 00:13:09,174 --> 00:13:12,565 - Tight at the back. Wings. Sorted. - Right, let's fuck 'em up, then! 230 00:13:12,654 --> 00:13:14,850 Yeah! WHISTLE PEEPS 231 00:13:16,814 --> 00:13:19,807 THEY ALL SHOUT TO EACH OTHER 232 00:13:27,214 --> 00:13:28,534 GROANING 233 00:13:41,735 --> 00:13:42,691 Here we go. 234 00:13:42,775 --> 00:13:44,528 - Fuck's sake, Micky! - What?! 235 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:47,255 - Where were you? - Midfield...ish. 236 00:13:47,335 --> 00:13:49,850 Right back! Right fucking back! 237 00:13:49,935 --> 00:13:53,690 All right. Keep yer hair on. Fucking hippy. 238 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,213 What's he pointing at? 239 00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:20,093 Fuck's sake, Micky! 240 00:14:20,175 --> 00:14:23,851 Shane, Shane, sort him out. He's drifting everywhere. 241 00:14:23,935 --> 00:14:25,813 Mum, please! You're embarrassing me. 242 00:14:25,895 --> 00:14:28,649 - Can you get off the pitch, please? - I'm his mother! 243 00:14:34,775 --> 00:14:37,495 Keeper, keeper... where the fuck were you? 244 00:14:45,015 --> 00:14:45,971 Micky! 245 00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:51,494 All right, mate? How's it going? 246 00:14:51,575 --> 00:14:53,214 It's work. Remember that? 247 00:14:53,295 --> 00:14:55,571 Not all of us get "compassionate leave". 248 00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:58,011 Not my fault you took the prank wars too far. 249 00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:01,406 Post-traumatic stress disorder. That's me all over - a victim. 250 00:15:01,495 --> 00:15:04,408 - Well, I'm pleased to see you, Stan. - Cheers. 251 00:15:04,495 --> 00:15:07,772 Only happy because she got a transfer, didn't she? Norfolk. 252 00:15:07,855 --> 00:15:12,134 A transfer? What about the flat? You know, the three amigos. 253 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:15,288 Us. All for one and one for all. 254 00:15:15,376 --> 00:15:16,935 That'd be the Three Musketeers, then. 255 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:20,134 You know what I mean. They offering you a pay rise or something? 256 00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:21,172 I wish. 257 00:15:21,256 --> 00:15:23,930 Don't go, then. Norfolk. It's shit. You'll be bored. 258 00:15:24,016 --> 00:15:28,807 Right. Cos hanging out with the Keystone Cops was really working out for me(!) 259 00:15:32,136 --> 00:15:33,172 You're not doing a runner, are you? 260 00:15:33,256 --> 00:15:36,249 Nah. Still got things worth sticking round for. 261 00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:42,213 I meant Debbie. Saw her earlier. Still might be something there. 262 00:15:42,296 --> 00:15:44,856 I don't know. I think she made it pretty clear. 263 00:15:44,936 --> 00:15:46,768 Stan, Stan. You don't know women. 264 00:15:46,856 --> 00:15:51,214 What I'm thinking is some grand, romantic gesture. 265 00:15:57,376 --> 00:15:58,810 Three-nil. 266 00:15:58,896 --> 00:16:00,615 Three fucking nil. 267 00:16:00,696 --> 00:16:03,291 They're nothing special. We can take 'em. 268 00:16:03,376 --> 00:16:07,495 Keep it tight, stay in position, keep possession and, Micky... 269 00:16:07,576 --> 00:16:09,374 - Yeah? - For fuck's sake. 270 00:16:09,456 --> 00:16:11,209 - What does that mean? - Stop wandering about. 271 00:16:11,296 --> 00:16:14,289 - Just stay in defence. - It's total football, you dick! 272 00:16:14,376 --> 00:16:18,165 It's the total opposite. Maybe we'd be better off playing with ten men. 273 00:16:18,256 --> 00:16:22,045 He's your brother. He might be a twat on the pitch, but family is family. 274 00:16:22,136 --> 00:16:24,651 Right, come on. Let's have it. Come on! 275 00:16:24,736 --> 00:16:27,046 - Yeah, thanks, Mum. - For fuck's sake, Micky. 276 00:16:28,936 --> 00:16:30,256 CHEERING 277 00:16:42,816 --> 00:16:43,772 CHEERING 278 00:16:54,857 --> 00:16:56,974 Three-two. Come on, boys! 279 00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:05,333 Micky, kick it, here. 280 00:17:05,417 --> 00:17:07,613 (Mimi) Pass, Micky, pass it! 281 00:17:07,697 --> 00:17:11,611 Micky. Bring it off, now! Micky! Micky! 282 00:17:15,657 --> 00:17:17,649 GROANING You cock! 283 00:17:18,817 --> 00:17:21,730 You...play it. You're shit! 284 00:17:21,817 --> 00:17:22,773 You're shit! 285 00:17:23,937 --> 00:17:24,973 Well played. 286 00:17:27,537 --> 00:17:29,972 Come on! Showers! Showers! 287 00:18:10,057 --> 00:18:12,253 No, that's just creepy. 288 00:18:18,937 --> 00:18:21,133 - Tom! - Shit! 289 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,093 No... 290 00:18:25,177 --> 00:18:27,055 no, no, not what it looks like. 291 00:18:28,018 --> 00:18:29,850 No. Debbie! 292 00:18:46,538 --> 00:18:51,977 Micky, give it to me, give it to me now. 293 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,334 Micky! 294 00:18:54,418 --> 00:18:56,489 Give us the fucking shower gel. 295 00:19:00,738 --> 00:19:04,254 - What the fuck you staring at? - Could ask you the same question. 296 00:19:04,338 --> 00:19:07,172 It's the most attention you've paid all fucking day. 297 00:19:07,258 --> 00:19:10,092 You're the one that's shit! We'd have won if it wasn't for you. 298 00:19:10,178 --> 00:19:12,488 What the fuck you talking about? All I said was... 299 00:19:12,578 --> 00:19:14,376 SHOUTING 300 00:19:33,658 --> 00:19:36,890 This is not what it looks like. 301 00:19:39,298 --> 00:19:42,291 There's been no funny business going on. 302 00:19:44,938 --> 00:19:47,658 You are her husband, right? 303 00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,298 I was against her doing this. 304 00:19:55,738 --> 00:19:58,651 - I'm so sorry. - Great, man. 305 00:19:58,738 --> 00:20:02,652 Good. So why don't you scoot over here and untie us? 306 00:20:02,738 --> 00:20:04,412 I can't do that. 307 00:20:04,499 --> 00:20:09,176 Listen, I don't know what your kink is, but it's going beyond a joke here. 308 00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:11,979 And it wasn't that funny to start with. 309 00:20:12,059 --> 00:20:13,493 Untie me. 310 00:20:15,139 --> 00:20:17,335 I don't understand a fucking thing that's going on. 311 00:20:17,419 --> 00:20:19,058 - You don't, do you? - No. 312 00:20:19,139 --> 00:20:21,813 Then it's not my place to say. 313 00:20:24,059 --> 00:20:25,129 Enough. 314 00:20:25,219 --> 00:20:29,259 You walk over here, you turn me loose. 315 00:20:29,339 --> 00:20:30,819 Last chance. 316 00:20:30,899 --> 00:20:35,655 You do that, I promise I'll walk away. Won't look back. 317 00:20:35,739 --> 00:20:36,934 And if you don't... 318 00:20:38,539 --> 00:20:43,250 ..I'll raze this place to the fucking ground with you and her in it. 319 00:20:44,499 --> 00:20:46,775 You do as I say! 320 00:20:47,859 --> 00:20:50,215 D'you have any idea who I am? 321 00:20:50,299 --> 00:20:53,212 I know exactly who you are, Mr Maguire. 322 00:20:54,859 --> 00:20:56,771 Stop. Don't go! 323 00:20:56,859 --> 00:21:00,170 (Shouts) Don't you walk away from me! 324 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,739 Don't go! 325 00:21:01,819 --> 00:21:04,254 Fu-u-u-u-ck! 326 00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:08,937 Go on, it's all right. Don't be scared. 327 00:21:10,619 --> 00:21:13,657 - All right, Lillian? - Looking for something special? 328 00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:16,095 Oh, it's not... All right, love? No, it's not for me. 329 00:21:16,179 --> 00:21:18,739 It's for my compadre here. Yeah? 330 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:23,257 - Hiya. - What can I get for 30 quid? 331 00:21:23,339 --> 00:21:27,413 Thirty'll get you a Colombian Handshake or a Paisley Snowjob. 332 00:21:27,499 --> 00:21:30,890 But for an extra tenner, I can chuck you in a Yugoslavian Quarterpounder, 333 00:21:30,979 --> 00:21:32,652 which is popular with the young 'uns. 334 00:21:32,739 --> 00:21:36,130 Just, you know, a traditional roll in the hay will be all right. 335 00:21:36,219 --> 00:21:38,973 - Go on, then, love. - Go on, go on. 336 00:21:39,059 --> 00:21:42,371 - Come on, then. - Everything is so lovely here. 337 00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:46,500 No rush, Bernard. You just lose yourself up there, all right? 338 00:21:46,580 --> 00:21:50,335 We'll talk later. All right, Leanne? 339 00:21:50,420 --> 00:21:52,855 - Fine, thanks. - How's your gran? 340 00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:54,659 - She's all right. - Great... 341 00:21:54,740 --> 00:21:56,732 LOUD VOMITING FROM UPSTAIRS 342 00:21:56,820 --> 00:21:58,015 Jesus! 343 00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:00,740 (Bernard) I'm so...I'm so sorry. 344 00:22:03,820 --> 00:22:06,494 Frank, I don't feel so good. 345 00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:13,535 I think we'd better call it a night, then. 346 00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:17,212 I know there's someone there! 347 00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:20,771 Listen, I'm sorry. Whatever it is you think I've... 348 00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:24,012 Whatever it is I have done, I'm sorry, OK? 349 00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:31,336 Hello?! 350 00:22:32,420 --> 00:22:34,173 Please, I need... 351 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:43,740 Fuck! 352 00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:46,375 KNOCK AT DOOR 353 00:22:56,140 --> 00:22:57,460 DOOR CLOSES 354 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:04,576 Frank, what the hell's the benefits officer doing in Debbie's bed? 355 00:23:04,660 --> 00:23:06,811 Ideally, waking up to a new life. 356 00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:09,256 One where the idea of helping out his fellow man - 357 00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:12,094 ie, you and me, Monica - is most appealing. 358 00:23:12,180 --> 00:23:13,773 What are you babbling on about? 359 00:23:15,540 --> 00:23:18,739 I tried to expand his horizons, you know? 360 00:23:18,821 --> 00:23:23,373 Sort of, you know, slipped him a couple of Es to change his world view - 361 00:23:23,461 --> 00:23:25,214 give him his own mini-Woodstock. 362 00:23:25,301 --> 00:23:29,011 You know, welcome to Spike Island, leave yer preconceptions at the door. 363 00:23:29,101 --> 00:23:31,332 - And that worked, did it? - Sort of. 364 00:23:34,181 --> 00:23:35,535 No, not really. 365 00:23:36,821 --> 00:23:38,050 Oh, all right! I fucked it. 366 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:42,539 We're in the shit here, Monica. It's not funny. 367 00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:46,615 It's not just cutting benefits off. We're talking jail here. 368 00:23:46,701 --> 00:23:48,533 They don't send you to jail just for that! 369 00:23:48,621 --> 00:23:51,819 The place is teeming with 'em. They don't fuck around. 370 00:23:51,901 --> 00:23:54,370 Come on, seriously. 371 00:23:54,461 --> 00:23:56,851 Strangeways, here we come. Again. 372 00:23:56,941 --> 00:23:58,978 No way. I can't do jail. 373 00:23:59,061 --> 00:24:01,132 I'm not wanting to Steve McQueen it meself. 374 00:24:01,221 --> 00:24:03,372 Plus they're gonna take away the kids. 375 00:24:03,461 --> 00:24:06,898 You can wave goodbye to lickle Stella up there, the house, everything. 376 00:24:06,981 --> 00:24:10,019 - Well, we've got to do something. - All right. 377 00:24:11,501 --> 00:24:13,697 We've got the answer, though. 378 00:24:17,901 --> 00:24:22,453 Right here under our roof. Lying there, in bed. Benefits Boy. 379 00:24:22,541 --> 00:24:25,534 Look, it's simple mathematics. 380 00:24:25,621 --> 00:24:28,295 He's lonely. His wife's left him. 381 00:24:28,381 --> 00:24:30,691 It was his fucking birthday. 382 00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:33,655 Well, he's vulnerable, in't he? 383 00:24:35,381 --> 00:24:41,537 We've just got to show him a bit of... care and attention - 384 00:24:41,621 --> 00:24:42,850 bit of love - 385 00:24:42,941 --> 00:24:46,537 so that he bins our report and we're back laughing again. 386 00:24:46,621 --> 00:24:50,012 - What you getting at? - I'm just saying, you know... 387 00:24:51,621 --> 00:24:54,091 ..we need to be creative. 388 00:24:54,182 --> 00:24:57,937 Maybe...you could do something. 389 00:25:00,062 --> 00:25:03,612 You know, be nice to him. The old feminine wiles and that. 390 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:11,376 Fine. 391 00:25:12,942 --> 00:25:14,854 Fucking fine. 392 00:25:20,182 --> 00:25:22,253 DOOR OPENS 393 00:25:23,782 --> 00:25:29,574 Good morning, Patrick. Sorry I wasn't able to look in on you first thing. 394 00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:32,621 There was a bring-and-buy sale at the church. 395 00:25:32,702 --> 00:25:35,456 Really, some of the junk people drag there! 396 00:25:35,542 --> 00:25:38,660 SHE LAUGHS How did you sleep? 397 00:25:38,742 --> 00:25:40,461 Why do you ask me that question? 398 00:25:40,542 --> 00:25:42,215 I don't understand. 399 00:25:42,302 --> 00:25:44,419 Like I've just popped round. 400 00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:47,939 Kettle's boiling. Some fucking cucumber sandwiches 401 00:25:48,022 --> 00:25:51,572 daintily arranged on a plate. You have me tied to a fucking bed. 402 00:25:51,662 --> 00:25:55,861 - Honestly...language! - What is it you want from me? 403 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,100 You tell me I've got to understand. 404 00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:04,416 I don't understand what the hell it is you expect from me. 405 00:26:04,502 --> 00:26:07,620 You've soiled yourself, haven't you, Patrick? 406 00:26:07,702 --> 00:26:10,615 Sorry. These things happen. 407 00:26:10,702 --> 00:26:12,261 No. No, they don't. 408 00:26:12,342 --> 00:26:15,779 Not unless some psycho bitch has tied you to a fucking bed. 409 00:26:15,862 --> 00:26:17,091 They do happen! 410 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:23,219 People found lying in their own excrement, turned blue, 411 00:26:23,302 --> 00:26:26,136 life thrown away -it happens! 412 00:26:32,983 --> 00:26:34,258 I can make it easier. 413 00:26:35,903 --> 00:26:37,383 I could clean you up. 414 00:26:37,463 --> 00:26:41,343 And you must be thirsty by now - really thirsty. Would you like a drink? 415 00:26:43,303 --> 00:26:45,943 If you don't answer me, I can't get you one. 416 00:26:46,023 --> 00:26:48,538 A glass of water, Patrick? Yes or no? 417 00:26:48,623 --> 00:26:49,773 (Yes.) 418 00:26:49,863 --> 00:26:51,536 Yes. 419 00:26:51,623 --> 00:26:54,934 Right, so you'll have to do something for me, then, Patrick. 420 00:26:55,023 --> 00:26:56,776 Do you sing? 421 00:26:56,863 --> 00:26:57,979 What? 422 00:26:58,063 --> 00:27:02,455 I bet you do. The Irish love singing, don't they? 423 00:27:02,543 --> 00:27:04,978 What beautiful voices. 424 00:27:05,063 --> 00:27:08,022 Or is that... is that racist to assume that? 425 00:27:08,103 --> 00:27:10,254 How the fuck should I know? 426 00:27:10,343 --> 00:27:13,256 (Shouts) What did I say to you about language? 427 00:27:16,263 --> 00:27:17,743 Sorry. 428 00:27:20,423 --> 00:27:21,459 I'm really sorry. 429 00:27:26,543 --> 00:27:30,583 I'm having a bad day. It happens sometimes. 430 00:27:33,303 --> 00:27:38,059 Did you ever see the musical Bugsy Malone? 431 00:27:38,143 --> 00:27:40,339 I saw the movie. 432 00:27:40,423 --> 00:27:41,857 Yeah, of course you did. 433 00:27:41,943 --> 00:27:47,814 Well, there's a song in it, We Could Have Been Anything. 434 00:27:47,903 --> 00:27:49,656 I think it's...apt. 435 00:27:50,823 --> 00:27:54,942 Could you indulge me, Patrick? Sing for me. 436 00:27:55,023 --> 00:27:56,855 I don't know the words. 437 00:27:56,943 --> 00:27:59,253 Of course you don't. Hang on a minute... 438 00:28:04,143 --> 00:28:05,782 Ta-da! 439 00:28:08,664 --> 00:28:10,178 I can get you started. 440 00:28:14,104 --> 00:28:17,893 # We could have been anything 441 00:28:17,984 --> 00:28:24,743 # That we wanted to be 442 00:28:24,824 --> 00:28:27,259 # And it... 443 00:28:27,344 --> 00:28:29,700 # And... # 444 00:28:32,944 --> 00:28:37,575 All I'm asking you to do is sing, Patrick. 445 00:28:37,664 --> 00:28:38,984 (Shouts) Sing! 446 00:28:40,224 --> 00:28:43,456 # We could have been anything 447 00:28:43,544 --> 00:28:49,336 # That we wanted to be... 448 00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:55,536 # And it's not too late to change 449 00:28:56,744 --> 00:28:58,178 # - I'd be... - Delighted... 450 00:28:58,264 --> 00:29:01,063 -#..To give it some thought... # - Can't hear you, Patrick! 451 00:29:02,944 --> 00:29:08,622 #..Maybe you'll agree that we really ought... # 452 00:29:08,704 --> 00:29:10,775 He was sniffing your knickers?! 453 00:29:10,864 --> 00:29:13,060 No, I never said he was sniffing 'em. 454 00:29:13,144 --> 00:29:15,534 Yeah, only cos you disturbed him. 455 00:29:15,624 --> 00:29:17,502 I'd have him hauled up for that. 456 00:29:17,584 --> 00:29:21,544 But that's just me. Unless, y'know... you still fancy him. 457 00:29:21,624 --> 00:29:23,536 Shut up! 458 00:29:26,744 --> 00:29:30,181 So...when were you going to tell us you were getting a promotion? 459 00:29:30,264 --> 00:29:33,814 Didn't think that was anyone's business but mine. 460 00:29:33,904 --> 00:29:35,179 How did you swing that? 461 00:29:36,384 --> 00:29:37,943 Hard work. 462 00:29:38,024 --> 00:29:40,141 - Dedication. - Yeah, right(!) 463 00:29:40,224 --> 00:29:43,184 Think I want to spend the rest of my career wasting away in this dump? 464 00:29:43,265 --> 00:29:48,215 I made a choice. Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. 465 00:29:52,425 --> 00:29:55,862 Oh, before I forget, Super wants to see you. 466 00:29:55,945 --> 00:29:59,461 What about? Could you not have told me earlier?! 467 00:29:59,545 --> 00:30:01,980 Yes, Tom, I suppose I could. 468 00:30:02,065 --> 00:30:05,741 I suppose I could stick toothpaste on your toothbrush every morning, 469 00:30:05,825 --> 00:30:08,385 and warm your slippers, and wipe your smelly bum, 470 00:30:08,465 --> 00:30:10,536 and hold your hand as you cross the road. 471 00:30:10,625 --> 00:30:12,901 But that's not my job. 472 00:30:14,065 --> 00:30:18,218 For too long I've let you losers drag me down. 473 00:30:18,305 --> 00:30:21,218 So grow a brain and work it out for yourself, eh? 474 00:30:28,625 --> 00:30:30,662 Right... 475 00:30:30,745 --> 00:30:32,099 See ya. 476 00:30:39,305 --> 00:30:40,455 KNOCKING 477 00:30:41,505 --> 00:30:44,384 I'll be out of your hair in a minute. I'm really sorry. 478 00:30:44,465 --> 00:30:47,458 Don't worry about it. 479 00:30:55,385 --> 00:30:57,661 - Are you OK? - No. 480 00:30:57,745 --> 00:30:59,896 I didn't mean to impose... 481 00:30:59,985 --> 00:31:02,819 It's nothing to do with you at all. 482 00:31:11,505 --> 00:31:15,215 It's OK. It's OK, don't worry. 483 00:31:21,186 --> 00:31:24,623 He's a fucking psycho. There's something seriously wrong with him. 484 00:31:24,706 --> 00:31:26,459 Don't need to tell me. He's me brother. 485 00:31:26,546 --> 00:31:30,620 Mum'll go mental if you kick him out the team. Not worth the hassle. 486 00:31:30,706 --> 00:31:33,096 There's a fella I know through work, can barely walk, 487 00:31:33,186 --> 00:31:37,021 but he'd be up for a game. Stick Micky on the subs bench and it's problem sorted. 488 00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:42,622 Yeah. 489 00:31:42,706 --> 00:31:44,538 - Problem sorted. - Speaking of problems, 490 00:31:44,626 --> 00:31:46,697 - we've got one. - What? 491 00:31:46,786 --> 00:31:49,301 We can either go to that expensive French restaurant 492 00:31:49,386 --> 00:31:51,298 where they turn their noses up at us, 493 00:31:51,386 --> 00:31:53,617 or we can go to the expensive Italian one. 494 00:31:53,706 --> 00:31:56,175 Tell you what, life's just full of problems! 495 00:32:12,866 --> 00:32:15,859 It's all right. You can look if you want. 496 00:32:15,946 --> 00:32:16,902 Fuck off. 497 00:32:16,986 --> 00:32:18,705 - Don't bother me. - Poof! 498 00:32:28,386 --> 00:32:30,218 I fucking knew it! 499 00:32:32,666 --> 00:32:33,656 Carl! 500 00:32:33,746 --> 00:32:36,386 - Stay away from me, you fuckin' psycho. - Wait! 501 00:32:37,346 --> 00:32:39,622 For fuck's sake, Micky, what have you done? 502 00:32:39,706 --> 00:32:41,459 What? It was an accident. 503 00:32:41,546 --> 00:32:43,981 You know. I slipped. 504 00:32:46,826 --> 00:32:50,581 Oh, yes, yes, oh, don't stop... 505 00:32:52,466 --> 00:32:53,661 You're beautiful. 506 00:32:53,746 --> 00:32:56,103 You don't have to say that. 507 00:32:56,187 --> 00:33:00,022 But you are. Sorry. 508 00:33:00,107 --> 00:33:01,746 Just... 509 00:33:01,827 --> 00:33:04,058 you are beautiful, you know. 510 00:33:08,587 --> 00:33:10,021 Oh...! 511 00:33:16,347 --> 00:33:18,816 I presume you know what this is about. 512 00:33:18,907 --> 00:33:20,261 I do. 513 00:33:20,347 --> 00:33:21,861 There are certain things we frown on here... 514 00:33:21,947 --> 00:33:26,817 Can I just explain? First of all, it wasn't like I didn't know her. 515 00:33:26,907 --> 00:33:31,982 We used to go out. And OK, I admit, you step back, you look at it, 516 00:33:32,067 --> 00:33:35,583 yes, she was 15 when I met her, but I didn't do anything. 517 00:33:35,667 --> 00:33:37,260 And she'd testify to that. 518 00:33:37,347 --> 00:33:40,181 And yes, technically, I let myself in to the house 519 00:33:40,267 --> 00:33:43,544 which, if you look at it in the wrong way, you might see as breaking and entering, 520 00:33:43,627 --> 00:33:46,222 but I was just putting the chocolate in the drawer. 521 00:33:46,307 --> 00:33:49,618 Then I thought, "No, drawer, that's invasion of privacy, 522 00:33:49,707 --> 00:33:51,107 "I'll stick them on the bed." 523 00:33:53,587 --> 00:33:57,058 Then the pants got snagged and... 524 00:33:57,147 --> 00:33:58,342 voilà. 525 00:33:58,427 --> 00:33:59,941 Pants? 526 00:34:00,027 --> 00:34:01,666 As in...underwear? 527 00:34:01,747 --> 00:34:03,340 Yeah. 528 00:34:03,427 --> 00:34:04,747 Of a 15-year-old girl? 529 00:34:04,827 --> 00:34:09,265 No. Debbie's 16 now. Why would she say she's 15? 530 00:34:09,347 --> 00:34:12,704 I have no idea who she is or what you're talking about. 531 00:34:12,787 --> 00:34:15,621 We are here to discuss the circumstances 532 00:34:15,707 --> 00:34:19,064 which led to Stanley Waterman having to take extended sick leave. 533 00:34:19,147 --> 00:34:22,106 We've received a report about the incident 534 00:34:22,187 --> 00:34:25,498 which we feel lays the groundwork for a disciplinary procedure. 535 00:34:25,587 --> 00:34:27,624 You've received a report? 536 00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:32,225 Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. 537 00:34:32,308 --> 00:34:35,506 A blatant abuse of position and waste of resources. 538 00:34:35,588 --> 00:34:38,501 But maybe you should start again. 539 00:34:38,588 --> 00:34:41,422 The other story sounds far more interesting. 540 00:34:41,508 --> 00:34:43,704 So... 541 00:34:43,788 --> 00:34:46,144 there was a 15-year-old girl... 542 00:34:49,668 --> 00:34:51,307 Fucking hell. 543 00:34:56,068 --> 00:34:57,741 I'll, um... Goodbye, then. 544 00:34:57,828 --> 00:34:58,864 Wait, wait, wait! 545 00:35:00,588 --> 00:35:01,942 What happened? 546 00:35:02,028 --> 00:35:06,261 Our case is gonna disappear down behind some filing cabinet. 547 00:35:06,348 --> 00:35:09,580 Really? Yeah! Fucking genius, Mon. 548 00:35:09,668 --> 00:35:11,864 Fucking genius. How did you convince him? 549 00:35:11,948 --> 00:35:15,419 Don't think we need to go into the gory details, do we? 550 00:35:15,508 --> 00:35:18,706 - What do you mean "gory details"? - You know what I mean. 551 00:35:18,788 --> 00:35:20,666 I told you to speak to him. 552 00:35:20,748 --> 00:35:23,308 You told me to be nice to him. 553 00:35:25,148 --> 00:35:28,937 What you fucking talking about? Eh? 554 00:35:32,028 --> 00:35:33,382 Oh, no! 555 00:35:35,468 --> 00:35:37,858 Tell...tell me you didn't... 556 00:35:39,708 --> 00:35:41,142 It was your idea. 557 00:35:41,228 --> 00:35:42,662 No. No. 558 00:35:43,548 --> 00:35:46,188 Don't touch me. Don't come near me. 559 00:35:46,268 --> 00:35:52,583 You...upstairs? In my own house? For fucking benefits? 560 00:35:52,668 --> 00:35:54,546 Benefits, Monica? 561 00:35:54,628 --> 00:35:57,939 Even prossies have the sense of mind to do it for cold, hard cash... 562 00:35:58,028 --> 00:36:01,180 - Don't you dare turn this round! - Don't you fucking start! 563 00:36:01,268 --> 00:36:03,988 You told me! This is what you wanted! 564 00:36:04,068 --> 00:36:06,822 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah... Of course it is(!) 565 00:36:06,908 --> 00:36:09,060 Of course it is. Yeah, this is what I wanted(!) 566 00:36:09,149 --> 00:36:12,859 16 years of age, the world unfurling at me feet, I said, 567 00:36:12,949 --> 00:36:18,388 "Hey, what I want is nine kids, a house that's falling apart around me, 568 00:36:18,469 --> 00:36:21,860 "a wife who leaves me for another fucking woman, comes back 569 00:36:21,949 --> 00:36:25,659 "and then fucks around on me again." Oh, yeah, this is what I wanted! 570 00:36:25,749 --> 00:36:27,103 Don't... Fuck off! 571 00:36:31,229 --> 00:36:36,463 Yeah, I was on me knees, praying, "Oh, please, grant my wish, your Almighty." 572 00:36:36,549 --> 00:36:38,939 And He did! 573 00:36:41,869 --> 00:36:45,306 I mean, this is heaven...with you. 574 00:36:45,389 --> 00:36:49,269 Every day, every second, every breath. 575 00:36:49,349 --> 00:36:51,659 This is fucking heaven, this is! 576 00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:07,746 I did it for you. I did it for the family. 577 00:37:07,829 --> 00:37:09,502 Don't, Mon. 578 00:37:09,589 --> 00:37:12,263 Just...just don't. 579 00:37:13,989 --> 00:37:17,426 From now on, Monica... 580 00:37:19,029 --> 00:37:22,067 ..just don't. 581 00:37:24,869 --> 00:37:27,020 All right? 582 00:37:38,669 --> 00:37:40,023 It's OK, Paddy. 583 00:37:40,109 --> 00:37:41,668 It's OK. You're safe. 584 00:37:44,149 --> 00:37:46,506 Oh, Mimi. I'm so sorry... 585 00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:48,900 Sssh. Everything's going to be all right. 586 00:37:48,990 --> 00:37:51,550 No, Mimi, no. I got lost. 587 00:37:51,630 --> 00:37:54,145 I was stupid and I have to change. 588 00:37:54,230 --> 00:37:58,827 This life we lead, this world of ours... Something's gotta give! 589 00:37:58,910 --> 00:38:00,947 I forgot. 590 00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:04,387 I forgot just how much you meant to me... 591 00:38:07,830 --> 00:38:09,503 I love you so fucking much... 592 00:38:09,590 --> 00:38:12,503 I know, Paddy. I know. 593 00:38:12,590 --> 00:38:14,422 I don't even... 594 00:38:14,510 --> 00:38:16,820 I don't even remember how I got here. 595 00:38:17,950 --> 00:38:21,068 They found you by the side of the road, half dead. 596 00:38:23,350 --> 00:38:24,909 Better let them see to you. 597 00:38:24,990 --> 00:38:27,425 Need to tell the boys you're awake as well. 598 00:38:27,510 --> 00:38:28,387 Mimi... 599 00:38:32,190 --> 00:38:34,546 NURSE WHISTLES 600 00:38:34,630 --> 00:38:39,625 SHE WHISTLES: Bad Guys from Bugsy Malone 601 00:38:42,550 --> 00:38:45,702 No-o-o-o-o-o! 602 00:38:52,550 --> 00:38:54,269 I think it's time now, Patrick. 603 00:39:04,470 --> 00:39:05,984 PIANO INTRO 604 00:39:06,070 --> 00:39:10,428 # We could have been anything that we wanted to be... # 605 00:39:10,510 --> 00:39:14,060 SINGING CONTINUES 606 00:39:23,711 --> 00:39:25,862 My daughter, Patrick. 607 00:39:25,951 --> 00:39:27,510 Rachel. 608 00:39:27,591 --> 00:39:29,742 It was a few years ago. 609 00:39:29,831 --> 00:39:32,187 She looked different towards the end... 610 00:39:33,511 --> 00:39:35,343 ..once the heroin got hold of her. 611 00:39:36,831 --> 00:39:38,185 Maureen... 612 00:39:38,271 --> 00:39:40,228 Only 18 years old. 613 00:39:40,311 --> 00:39:42,507 18 years... 614 00:39:42,591 --> 00:39:44,742 that's nothing. 615 00:39:44,831 --> 00:39:46,470 And the worst thing is, 616 00:39:46,551 --> 00:39:50,909 I went to the police, and even if they did manage to make it stick... 617 00:39:52,071 --> 00:39:53,983 ..well, you'd be out long before that. 618 00:39:54,071 --> 00:39:57,781 I'll stop. Swear to God, I'll stop. 619 00:39:57,871 --> 00:39:59,988 Even if I believed you, 620 00:40:00,071 --> 00:40:03,621 it wouldn't change anything. 621 00:40:03,711 --> 00:40:06,226 We have to be accountable... 622 00:40:06,311 --> 00:40:08,462 for our choices... 623 00:40:09,951 --> 00:40:12,307 ..for what we've done. 624 00:40:12,391 --> 00:40:15,463 (Kids) # We could have been anything that we wanted to be... # 625 00:40:19,231 --> 00:40:20,824 Oh, no, no, no, no! 626 00:40:20,911 --> 00:40:24,382 - Not that, please! - I was a nurse. It's all right, Patrick. 627 00:40:24,471 --> 00:40:26,986 - I know what I'm doing. - No, no...! Fuck off! 628 00:40:27,071 --> 00:40:28,300 Get off, no! 629 00:40:29,831 --> 00:40:31,868 It's better if you please stay still. 630 00:40:31,951 --> 00:40:35,103 Argh! No! 631 00:40:35,191 --> 00:40:36,511 That's it. 632 00:40:38,071 --> 00:40:42,111 Maybe it would be a good idea for you to try your product. 633 00:40:42,191 --> 00:40:46,902 After all, you didn't have issues with anyone else trying it, did you? 634 00:40:46,991 --> 00:40:50,189 I'll fucking kill ya...bitch... 635 00:40:50,271 --> 00:40:52,945 Fuck... 636 00:40:53,031 --> 00:40:55,341 #..We could be the best at being bad... # 637 00:41:01,872 --> 00:41:02,862 Shush. 638 00:41:02,952 --> 00:41:04,830 Ssh... 639 00:41:04,912 --> 00:41:08,872 MUSIC BOOMS AND ECHOES 640 00:41:14,832 --> 00:41:17,222 - I don't really care. - Oh? 641 00:41:17,312 --> 00:41:21,545 Carrie's gone. You leave. Just one more room to rent, isn't it? 642 00:41:21,632 --> 00:41:23,225 'Scuse. 643 00:41:23,312 --> 00:41:25,508 You're just saying that cos you know you'll miss me really. 644 00:41:25,592 --> 00:41:28,903 No, seriously. I'm tired of you, anyway. 645 00:41:28,992 --> 00:41:30,870 It's the accent, I think. It grates. 646 00:41:30,952 --> 00:41:33,706 Been drifting apart for a while. It's the way of the world. 647 00:41:33,792 --> 00:41:35,511 Get a hug, at least? 648 00:41:35,592 --> 00:41:38,744 Whatever. Won't make a difference to me. 649 00:41:42,232 --> 00:41:44,189 I'm really going to miss you, mate. 650 00:41:48,432 --> 00:41:50,389 I don't know what to say, mate. 651 00:41:53,832 --> 00:41:55,710 Geroff...! Twat! 652 00:42:00,832 --> 00:42:02,949 - Take care of yourself, Carl. - Dick! 653 00:42:04,912 --> 00:42:06,585 Carl! 654 00:42:16,952 --> 00:42:18,306 (Phone) First new message. 655 00:42:19,552 --> 00:42:21,271 Debbie, it's me, Tom. 656 00:42:21,352 --> 00:42:23,309 I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, 657 00:42:23,392 --> 00:42:25,588 and there's something I need to tell you - 658 00:42:25,672 --> 00:42:27,982 something important I learned about life, 659 00:42:28,072 --> 00:42:29,950 about Chatsworth, and about you. 660 00:42:30,032 --> 00:42:32,501 And it's kind of mind-blowing stuff, see? 661 00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:37,543 Debs, after all the time here, what I realised is, was, that I really love... 662 00:42:37,633 --> 00:42:38,589 BEEP 663 00:42:40,193 --> 00:42:41,673 Whatever. 664 00:43:14,793 --> 00:43:16,671 Guess what. Micky... 665 00:43:16,753 --> 00:43:19,063 - Micky's a poof. - Yeah, I know. 666 00:43:19,153 --> 00:43:22,351 - Why didn't you warn me? - It's not catching, you dick. 667 00:43:22,433 --> 00:43:24,993 It's just he's trying to kill me. KNOCK AT DOOR 668 00:43:25,073 --> 00:43:27,110 - (Micky) Carl! - Fuck! 669 00:43:27,193 --> 00:43:29,708 That's him now. Ian, please, you gotta to speak to him. 670 00:43:30,753 --> 00:43:32,551 Hang on, I'll be there in a second. 671 00:43:32,633 --> 00:43:34,545 - Ian! - Carl, I've got to go. 672 00:43:34,633 --> 00:43:36,989 If he kills you, make sure he doesn't do it in the next few weeks. 673 00:43:37,073 --> 00:43:40,305 I'll be well pissed off if I have to fly home for your funeral! 674 00:43:43,433 --> 00:43:44,913 Carl Gallagher! 675 00:43:48,553 --> 00:43:49,509 Carl! 676 00:43:50,633 --> 00:43:52,147 Is that you up there? 677 00:43:54,913 --> 00:43:56,984 WINDOW OPENS AND CLOSES 678 00:44:05,273 --> 00:44:05,911 Wait! 679 00:44:15,834 --> 00:44:19,145 - Aw, that's gorge... - What the...?! 680 00:44:25,274 --> 00:44:27,311 - I'll be your best friend! - What? 681 00:44:27,394 --> 00:44:30,626 If you don't tell anyone, I'll be yer best friend. I'm serious. 682 00:44:30,714 --> 00:44:33,866 It'd kill me dad. And me mam. Or they'd kill me. 683 00:44:33,954 --> 00:44:37,026 I'll do anything. Please! 684 00:44:37,114 --> 00:44:38,594 I've got DVDs. 685 00:44:38,674 --> 00:44:40,905 All the best films. Die Hard an' that. 686 00:44:40,994 --> 00:44:42,872 Fuck's sake, Micky. I don't give a shit. 687 00:44:44,674 --> 00:44:48,384 Just wish you were better at football. No need to go all psycho on us. 688 00:44:50,674 --> 00:44:52,666 I've been dead lonely since Ian went. 689 00:44:52,754 --> 00:44:54,950 Micky, I'm not gonna tell anyone. 690 00:44:55,034 --> 00:44:58,186 Don't mean we're gonna be mates, though. 691 00:44:58,274 --> 00:45:00,311 All right? 692 00:45:00,394 --> 00:45:02,147 Sorry. 693 00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:13,706 These DVDs. How many you got? 694 00:45:13,794 --> 00:45:16,514 Two hundred. Maybe more. 695 00:45:16,594 --> 00:45:19,234 - Did a film course, didn't I? - Got any porn? 696 00:45:20,314 --> 00:45:21,543 Loads. 697 00:45:40,674 --> 00:45:41,664 BLOWS KISSES 698 00:45:52,715 --> 00:45:53,671 Monica? 699 00:45:55,155 --> 00:45:57,670 Close the fucking door on the way out, eh? 700 00:46:09,715 --> 00:46:12,150 PIANO PLAYS 701 00:46:13,235 --> 00:46:14,715 APPLAUSE 702 00:46:14,795 --> 00:46:18,675 Another fella I knew, Duncan. He was a right fucking terror. 703 00:46:18,755 --> 00:46:23,034 One day he did over a post office. Driving off, full speed, 704 00:46:23,115 --> 00:46:24,435 hits a dog. 705 00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,108 Never seen a man so cut up. 706 00:46:26,195 --> 00:46:29,472 This is someone who stabbed his mother, seriously, 707 00:46:29,555 --> 00:46:31,911 and he's crying over a fucking dog. 708 00:46:31,995 --> 00:46:34,271 Everybody's got a breaking point 709 00:46:34,355 --> 00:46:37,314 when things just change 710 00:46:37,395 --> 00:46:40,752 and after that, you realise everything's different. 711 00:46:40,835 --> 00:46:43,225 You won't be going back. 712 00:46:43,315 --> 00:46:46,194 Might be others who force your hand, 713 00:46:46,275 --> 00:46:48,551 or it might be something within yourself. 714 00:46:48,635 --> 00:46:51,946 I guess you don't know. Not until it hits ya. 715 00:47:40,396 --> 00:47:43,150 (Man) Oh, yes, I'll do that for you, baby. 716 00:47:43,236 --> 00:47:45,546 What the fuck...?! 717 00:47:50,516 --> 00:47:51,552 Sorry. 718 00:47:51,636 --> 00:47:53,116 - Dick. - Totally. 53704

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