Original subtitles

(TAPPING)

Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck all about knowing fuck all about owt,

needs to watch their back.

So, you've had your Labour reclassifying skunk, sending prices sky-high,

literally, literally, taking the grass from its own roots.

Now you've got your ConDemNation,

Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up.

Have we had a national fucking stroke or what?

Is revolution a word, or was it never?

Anybody watching needs to know,

we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth.

Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester and they charge us for water.

I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found.

This green and pleasant land in ancient times.

Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak!

It's not theirs any more.

This is our England now.

Party!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

- Oi! - What?

Stopping off at your mam's for a couple on the way.

Fuck me! Atomic Kitten have let themselves go a bit, haven't they?

Just come home when the club shuts, eh? You're on the early.

Yes, Dad, love you.

GLORIA: The thing about mistakes is, you can't undo them.

You can repair them, patch them up, minimise the consequences,

but you can't undo them.

Fuck knows I've made more than most, and they define me.

Carry them with me everywhere I go. True of us all.

Ladies!

Couldn't fucking catch you, though.

If it's any consolation,

there's not one of us skates through life without mistakes.

Well, none of the interesting ones, any road.

Come on, Marty.

Shit!

Careful!

- Fuck! Fuck a duck. - Hurry up.

Mong.

- Hold it steady! - Climb up straight and I will.

I've got ten metres of cable round my neck. It's not easy. Arse-wipe!

Fucking hell, you nearly had my head off.

Stop messing about! Electric's dangerous, dickhead.

- (MAN SHOUTS) - Someone's coming!

Aidan!

(CHATTER)

- Fucking hell. - Hold the fucking ladder!

- Are you sure about this? - Can't pay, won't pay.

If we don't do this, we've got no heating, no fridge, no cooker.

No Xbox.

Yaah! Oh, you...

Ow!

- Whoo! - Aaah!

Aaah!

...down to their value...

Oh, my God, Eamonn!

Oh, shit.

(RAISED VOICES)

All right, calm it. Just blown a fuse, that's all.

I can lend you a Greek euro for the meter.

Right, that's the last from the lockup.

If you smell burning at any point,

- switch it off. - Oh, great. House'll be on fire.

Mimi, all the lights are off.

And I've got Stella. I just don't know what to do.

Straight upstairs, Tish. Put her next to Cilla and Connor.

Whole area's pitch-black, no street lights, nothing.

It's ridiculous. Took 72 hours to restore power the last time.

Why do people say 72 hours? Why not just say two days?

- Rain Man's got nothing on you, has he? - Who the fuck's Rain Man?

Right, Jamie's gonna stay open a bit, until people can see their way home.

Oh, yeah, proper Maguire.

Any chance to get a few extra coppers in your back pocket.

Er...not seen you turning down shifts, lady.

- If they're staying open, can we just... - Oh, yeah, everyone fuck off.

I'll look after the ranch in the dark,

- on my own. - Oh!

Girls, girls, maybe we don't go into town tonight.

Oh, don't cancel on my account. I'd feel bad.

You can't see anything out there, and in these fucking heels?

- We'd have to get a minicab in the dark. - Probably no power on in town anyway.

Another night, then, ladies?

Right. You go get some smokes, I'll see you there.

Why do I have to go?

I'll clock you. See if you can beat your best time.

Go!

- Oh, my God! - Knobhead!

What a knobhead.

Hey, don't look at me. You married him.

Yeah, well, I always had shit taste in men. I married your father.

Oh, fuck!

(KNOCKING)

- Fuck off! I've got a weapon! - Ches, it's me, open up!

Fuck!

Fucking hell, man. I nearly shat myself. Lock that door!

40 smokes, please, mate, quick time.

- You what? - Hello. Earth to Chesney.

On the clock, man. Shane's timing me.

Look, I'm trying to save my stock! I'm not open!

Right, I'll...I'll help myself. Leave the money on the counter.

- I said no! - Fucking hell!

Fuck me, man.

If I help you, will you let me have my cigs?

Get this in the fucking chest freezer and I'll give 'em you, all right?

- Right. - Hurry up!

Fuck's sake, Jackson.

(KEYPAD BEEPS)

- (CAR HORN BLARES) - (MAN SHOUTS)

Fucking hell, boys, that were a lucky escape, that.

- (LAUGHING) - At least we're not dry, girls.

ALL: Yeah!

Actually, I'm gonna head round Lillian's.

Oh, Kels!

Oh, shut the fuck up! It's all the more for you, innit?

Walk her round, lad. It'll start getting ropey out there pretty quickly.

I'll go with.

Make sure you drop a trail of breadcrumbs so you can find your way home.

Is this what it was like during the Blitz, Missus C?

What the feck would I know about the Blitz?

Do I look as if I'm 112 years old?

Don't answer that, girls!

(LAUGHTER AND CHATTER)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Right, the pumps are off, so it's bottles and optics only. And the tills are down.

So, cash in hand and no tick.

- PUNTERS: Oh! - It's the end of the night.

No-one's got any money left.

Do you think I'm letting you lot fill up on a tab after dark?

Best go and get the lobotomy reversed, mate.

Jamie, that don't strictly apply to family, though, does it?

Especially family.

All right, stick this behind the bar and see how far it gets us, eh?

Must be 150 notes here.

Us priests get a lot of stuff, you know, including money.

It comes and goes. It's not important.

I will accept your drink, but I don't trust you one little bit.

Thought your lot took a vow on poverty?

Well, that we do. But, you know, I get a regular monthly stipend.

You know, I don't have much use for it.

Don't fucking cloud the issue with explanations.

Goes against nature - a man giving away money?

Hey, you stick some choons on. It's like death in here.

- What part of "power cut" don't you get? - (CLATTER)

Oi, what you doing?

We can't play Killer in the dark, can we? Use your head, man.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Ooh! Ooh!

Look what that bitch upstairs has done to my arse. Oh!

- Have you seen this? - What's going on?

Blackout. Brings out more horn in folk.

I mean, where's security, a night like tonight?

Went shopping. Said he were gonna get himself a new telly and some trainers.

This is fucking madness, and not the good kind.

We're on top of it.

Er...where the fuck do you think you're going with that?

I arrived with this. It's mine.

It's the same one as we've got.

Cheers for the guard of honour. I'm sticking around for a bit.

- Mind if we stay? - Do what you want.

- Just put it fucking down! - Fuck off!

And so, Terry Mclnally is the one I always think of as the one that got away.

- Ooh, God! - Give us one of them.

Well, I don't think I have "one that got away"

because I don't think I've ever been in love.

Oh, fuck off!

I was in love on a weekly basis when I was your age.

I've told you before, love and blow jobs, not the same thing.

(LAUGHING)

What kind of women are you, bragging to anyone who'll listen

about how many men you've had between your legs?

Quite right, Patricia.

A woman's tickly bits are for child-bearing only.

Anything else... (IRISH ACCENT) "It is the Devil's work!"

(LAUGHTER)

I'm telling you something. We are for child-rearing, every one of us.

I've had seven kids,

and I'd have seven more if the clock was on my side.

- Well, having kids is not for everyone. - Well, fucking should be.

- What else are we here for? - I will second that.

- Well, I can't go with that. - You don't have kids.

How do you know that, eh?

I've been around a long time before I met you,

and I've still got a few years left in me!

(LAUGHING)

And there's more to mothering than just squeezing one out.

It's not just biology, it's practical stuff, circumstances.

Oh, what, giving babies away? Don't get me started on them.

I am a mother!

And any woman who gives a baby away is beyond me!

I'm not having that.

I was adopted.

Oh, fuck.

So, Dominic's not your brother?

He is my brother.

Same DNA, same biological parents. I'm sorry, just...

You know what? I could tell there was something about him.

No, not him. Just me.

Born a year ahead of Dominic.

When he arrived, kept him, sent me out to adoption.

Off I went.

Now, there's a story worth cutting the fecking power for.

Get off me!

This is outrageous! I want to talk to a fucking lawyer.

(MOANING)

(MOANING)

Freak!

- Fucking hell, I nearly laid an egg. - Didn't mean to startle you.

- What are you doing in here? - I think I'm here for a reason.

What the fuck is this place?

It's the basements of the council buildings.

Used to be a jail in Victorian times.

All the cop shops were shut and no power. Judas!

- What did they get you for? - I was mugged!

Coming back from work, some scumbags thumped me,

- grabbed my purse, bag... - (COUPLE MOANING)

...jacket, everything.

- So, how come they arrested you? - I'm black.

They assume because of this and this, I must be a criminal.

(COUPLE GROANING)

You're not. You've got a good soul. I can tell.

How could she keep one and give the other away?

- You'll have to ask her. - You never traced her?

Nah, I've met her a number of times, with Dominic,

but she made it quite clear she didn't give a shit, no regrets.

You're a dark horse. How long have I known you?

- GLORIA: Some things are kept secret. - Not her.

I'm married to her son,

and I could tell you how often she changes the batteries

- in her vibrator. - (LAUGHING)

Some people are just cold, never intended as mothers.

Yeah, well, best guess is that she's one of these women

who sees other women as competition, a threat.

Fuck off! Her own daughter?

Dominic's her little prince. Still is to this day.

I'm just some bitch she had the misfortune to give birth to before he arrived.

Yeah, but you get on all right with Dom?

He's fucked up in his own way, but he's a good man.

Can't get my head around a mother keeping one baby and giving another away.

How old was your Gloria then?

- When she was adopted? 11 months. - Does that not bother you?

Course it bothers me, but I haven't got a time machine, have I?

(CHEERING)

Yeah, it's probably why she's such a hard-nosed bitch.

- Watch your mouth, Frank, all right? - I'm only speaking the truth.

Lovely girl, your sister, wrapped around the temperament of a Tasmanian devil.

No wonder she's 40, single, and got her brother for a lodger.

Fine. I will watch my mouth.

(LOUD CHATTER)

(CLEARS THROAT) No pressure.

(LOUD CHEERING)

- Come here. - Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!

I don't fucking think so, mate, do you?

Try potting a fucking ball first.

- Truth or forfeit? - Fuck off.

- Hey! Well, don't fucking play, then. - All right, truth.

Okey-doke.

Other than Avril...

which woman have you most recently...

had a wank about, you dirty cunt?

Fuck off.

If you don't like the fucking question, you can always take the forfeit, yeah?

Come on, speak the truth.

Your Ruby.

It's her fucking tits, man. They're hypnotic.

I do know what you mean. They kind of sit up all by themselves, don't they?

I mean, I don't even think she's aware of it, Jackson.

- Your go, Frank. - All right, all right. Fucking hell.

Late for vespers, are we?

- Oh! - Time, Frank! You've lost a life!

- Fuck off! - Truth or forfeit?

- Truth or forfeit? - Forfeit.

- (CHEERING) - Yes! You fucking star!

I don't like him being exploited like this.

He's not a circus freak.

It's a fucking stupid forfeit, anyway.

Well, it's not so much a forfeit as a bet.

The hare and the tortoise. It's the eternal question.

He's right, it's a stupid bet. I'm five paces from victory.

Then demonstrate...your superiority.

Yeah...

...a little pre-race pick-me-up...

...will see me just fine.

Uh-oh!

Do I look like I want to be fucking whipped?

Sorry.

Boiled in your very own milk pan. Red Bull for the wrinklies.

Drink?

(SIGHS) Cocoa with 12 sugars.

- Oh, I could do with a booster. - What?

Not you!

How did it come to this?

- We're keeping it together. - You look like a mole with a kink.

It's a mess. There's fellas been waiting here two hours.

That bloke's got so fed up, he's gone home to shag his wife.

That's how desperate he's got.

I thought busy was good.

It's more than just a volume. Size does matter,

in every sense, but in here it's about turnover.

Count 'em in, count 'em out. The quicker, the better.

There's not a man in here

that I couldn't have shooting his load in three minutes or under,

from a standing stare, because I'm a professional.

What are your lot doing upstairs, rolling about in bed for an hour?

It's time to hang up the gusset, Trigger. Put on the business suit.

Has anybody seen the paddling pool?

They didn't teach us this in sex ed.

- How d'you think people end up like this? - Like what?

In rubber, nappies, Scottish, S&M. I mean, what's all that about?

There must have been a time they were just like us.

Idiots like these put food on our table when I was little.

Mum brought a different bloke back every night,

usually sober enough to pay her.

And what was it like?

I didn't know any better so I didn't care.

- And what about now? - Doesn't faze me.

- Do me a favour. - Mm.

Promise me you won't do any shit like this, even when you get old.

- Oi! - (MAN MOANS)

I insist on speaking to a legal representative.

Oh. Good for you. I'm proud of you.

Whatever happened to human rights?

Don't let it get under your skin. Golliwog!

- You fucking racist. - I'm not.

You're the one who planted the racist seed,

saying that they arrested you cos you were black. Rubber lips!

I can't not say it.

So your Tourette's causes you

- to be racist? - No. It's like,

if I said to you right now, "Big hairy arse..."

- (MAN MOANS) - ...you can't not see one.

In some cultures, it's a sign of genius.

You little dickheads! What you saying now, you little pricks?

You little shit-bags! Come on, then!

Come on! Fucking come back!

- What? - Shut up!

Look, we don't really want them to come back.

What's up? Scared or summat? I thought you did all bodybuilding shit, man.

Yeah, I am scared. Me and you, trapped here in the Alamo?

What are you gonna do when they throw a fucking petrol bomb through the window?

Not with the price of petrol these days, mate.

Second, it's not bodybuilding, it's body-sculpting.

I don't want big fuck-off Terminator muscles.

I'm a whippet, but I'll be the perfect whippet.

Well, that's us sorted.

Why don't you come with us, man?

It'll be a fucking riot in the Jockey tonight.

Oh, yeah, you've got to guard the shop now, haven't you?

Yeah, chill and have a beer.

What do you want to be a little ferret for anyway?

Big muscles are fucking awesome, man! Know what I'm saying?

- Not ferret. Whippet. Cheers. - Cheers, mate.

48, 48. 49, 49.

50, 50. Oh!

Light weights, rapid reps,

minimal recovery. It's cardio - oxygen to the bloodstream. Look.

Exhale on the up.

Inhale on the down.

Yeah? It's about strength and stamina.

(BELCHES) I'm naturally fit me, mate.

Oh!

You see, it's not about fitness. It's about control, yeah?

Nothing can fucking touch me.

You haven't got any control. Nobody has.

- You're wrong. - I'm fucking right.

Do you think I don't know that you're laughing at me? That everybody is?

Fucking Shane. "Oh, Billy, run to the shops. I'll time you."

Know what I mean? I'm not a complete idiot, you know?

That's my role. I don't have to accept it, but I do.

(SNIFFS) It keeps me warm, gives me grub. What's the alternative?

Be your own man?

Listen, I've got a wife who's got kids and grandkids here.

I don't want to be my own man.

- You're aiming low, mate. - Well, look at you!

What's this gonna do? Let you live three months, six months longer?

Ha-ha-ha! Says who, Manchester man?

Fucking proud, mate! Any exercise you can name, I'll take you, mate.

I'll take you!

Go on then, son. Let's have you on that fucking bench, eh?

- MARTY: I am sorry. - (COUPLE MOANING)

I know what a bastard words can be, more than most.

Even when people don't say those words,

you know they're thinking them every day.

It's exhausting.

- You mustn't judge people. - (COUPLE MOANING)

They know not what they do.

(COUPLE MOANING)

To the English, I'm this fucking...darkie,

and to the Africans, I'm fucking English.

Jackson's mum, a proud Nigerian woman,

she thinks her son married beneath himself, cos I'm from the Caribbean.

My mum thinks I've hooked up with someone from the Dark Ages,

cos he's only second generation.

I'm tired of it.

- (COUPLE MOANING) - Maybe that's my role...

...to bring people together with my words.

Clit-lick every trip!

What are you on about?

(COUPLE MOANING)

I could have died tonight.

I mean, enough electricity to power a city. Should have fried me. It didn't.

I think I've been saved for a reason.

(COUPLE MOANING)

I've been chosen.

Fisher, Martin.

Front and centre.

- (COUPLE MOANING) - You're being released.

- How comes he gets out? - How the fuck should I know?

It's an order from above.

See?

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah, hallelujah... #

I'll be back to free you and all your people.

Ah! Uncle Tom!

Well, on behalf of all my people, don't worry about it. Jog on!

(COUPLE MOANING)

Where's my fucking phone call?

Oh, come on. Time's running out, Jackson!

- Oi, you're on the fucking baize! - (CHEERING)

- Bastard. Terry? How's Terry? - Moving at a lick!

- Time to leap into action, then. - OTHERS: Terry! Terry! Terry!

Terry!

Something amusing our Vatican correspondent?

I'm a happy drunk, Frank.

The last days of Sodom!

Where's my fags?

(CHEERING)

Oh, very fucking funny.

You've got ten seconds left, man. Come on!

(CROWD WHOOPING)

- (CHEERING) - Oh, you...fuck off!

- Where's my coat? - Wherever you left it.

- I hung it over the stool. - Then you must have moved it.

I didn't fucking move it!

Someone's had my parka!

- Sorry, mate, no sign. - What? No, you don't...

It's...it's not just a...

Look, it's more than sentimental... It's... I'll sue!

For the value of a parka?

Here you are. Call that a generous out-of-court settlement.

Oh, yeah! It's all right for you, innit, with your fucking pub,

and your wife and your...dimples!

Hey, all my dreams come true, this.

But what the fuck have I got, eh?

Once the lights come on, we'll find it.

Oh, there's been traffic in and out all night!

Could be anywhere by now! What kind of fucking lock-in is it, anyway?

- It's just a coat, mate. - No.

I wore that coat the night our Fiona was born.

I was wearing it the night that she was conceived.

And now I've lost two wives!

Monica. Sheila. All my kids.

Little Debbie. Lip.

- Curly hair... - Liam!

Liam! The other one! They've all deserted me!

- Apart from Stella. - Apart from Stella!

That parka...

was me.

It was as part of me as a... as an arm or a leg and...

(THEY CHUCKLE)

It's who I am.

Where did you get it from?

I stole it off a striking miner on the bus.

He was coming back from the Battle of Orgreave.

He'd had a skinful to numb the pain of the battering.

Could have took his wallet as well. Didn't!

Oh, you're all heart.

How...

will I...

recognise...me?

(# THE CARPENTERS: Close To You)

# Why do birds suddenly appear

# Every time you are near?

# Just like me They long to be

# Close to you

# Why do stars fall down from the sky... #

(MUSIC STOPS)

Come on.

Let's you and me go and have a look for it, eh?

Never know, your luck might change.

Yeah, maybe.

Thank you, Dominic.

Hey, look, Frank. Turtle wins again.

(SQUEAKS)

(MEN LAUGH)

Excellent, man.

(HELICOPTER FLIES OVERHEAD)

(CHUCKLES)

(ANGELIC MUSIC ON SOUNDTRACK)

Bless you!

(LOUD CHATTER)

I really admire her.

Fuck off.

I do! Bold as you like, in control, organising everyone.

Another time, another place, she could have been someone.

What's with all the make-up, though?

Be back down in 15 minutes or less! Hair-trigger discount applies, yeah?

The reason it's the world's oldest profession is because it works.

Men are like them little David Attenborough fucking monkeys

that eat ripe fruit and tug themselves off.

Be at it day and night, if they could. Endless demand.

Doesn't mean we have to be sloppy or inefficient.

We get 'em in, bleed 'em dry and get 'em out.

We get organised, we could rule the world.

Is that you, Kelly?

You are the only person I have ever met where only one sense works at a time.

And so, Curtis Pendleton is the one that got away.

Ha! Another one? A fair few seem to have got away from you.

- "Escaped" is the word we're looking for. - MIMI: Hey!

Not too many escaped you, did they?

No. I brought pleasure to the masses, and then my prince arrived.

He's my son, and even I think it's stretching it to call him a prince.

Fuck's sake!

Don't tell me you believe in all this "happy ever after" bollocks.

Yeah, I kinda do! I think you've got to.

There's a reason it's a fairytale. Not one of us can escape our pasts.

RUBY: Amen.

How can you have a past at 21? Survive the fall of Saigon, did you?

Five years captive in Guantánamo without so much as a drink of water?

Yeah, all of that.

We could all sit around boo-hooing about our past.

OTHERS: Boo-hoo!

- (SHUTTERS RATTLE) - (BOYS SHOUT)

Give it up, lads!

- Who the fuck's this guy? - Fuck off! Fucking freak!

I won't harm you.

- You what? - I love you!

- Jesus in a nappy! - (ANGELIC MUSIC ON SOUNDTRACK)

Freak!

- Fucking move on, you bastard! - You bastard!

Fear not!

For I am with you!

(ANGELIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

- (MUSIC STOPS) - Fuck off, batty!

(WOMEN CHATTER)

- Everything all right? - Everybody's got history, you know.

- Everybody's got a sob story. - Of course.

Sitting round, all sharing each other's misery.

It's like getting the excuses in early

to explain why life isn't fair for poor little old me.

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

Life is hard. You fuck up, you pay the consequences. I have.

Well, we all have! So what's your point?

Look, you're adopted. It's a real shame.

You know, you're not without your problems yourself.

All that soul-searching, all that support from the group.

I've got an illness, but have you heard me mention it once tonight? Nah!

Oh, yeah, so now you are the picture of blame-free happiness, are you?

Yeah, my life's pretty fucking great!

And yet you're still an arsehole.

- Ah! - What was that?

Oh, for fuck's sake!

- Take it easy! - (SHOUTING)

MIMI: Pack it in! Pack it in!

- Karen, stop it! - Pack it in!

- Bitch! - Jesus!

You've got some fucking bottle, going for a Maguire!

Any time, bitch.

You're too young for all these responsibilities.

Shut up! I'm concentrating!

I mean, you should be dreaming big. The world's your oyster and all that.

Fuck all that. Be happy. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you.

Where's that going to get you anyway?

Ahead.

Fuck "ahead". You waste your life trying to get ahead.

Before you know it, it's all behind you.

Did you read that on an ice lolly stick?

Shut the fuck up!

You might be happy being the water boy, mate.

Not me.

- Fuck off! - (LAUGHS)

You little pussy! What happened? Thought you were gonna beat me, eh?

You distracted me!

- Yeah? - Let's do some proper exercise anyway.

All right, OK. Come on, then, son. Show us how it's done.

(GRUNTS)

Here, you never know.

It's not in here.

I tell you what. Have my coat, will you? You know, keep warm while we find...

Oh, no, fuck off! I've got more chance of getting in Terry's shell!

(LAUGHS)

Besides, you're gonna need it

when you wave Dorothy off down the Yellow Brick Road.

Oh, right, that's because I'm a Munchkin, right?

Yeah, maybe, but remember, nobody stole my jacket.

Well, why would they?

What about there? You never know, someone might have slung it.

All right, then.

Stay there, won't you?

What is it with you, eh?

I can't work it out, and it makes me very uneasy.

(GRUNTS) I don't know what you mean.

Oh, yes, you do!

You're out here scrabbling around

for a coat with some bastard you can't possibly like!

I like you, Frank, all right?

See? That!

- What? - There!

- What? - I don't trust it.

I mean, I've done nothing but insult you all night, and you just...smile.

So, what is it? Come here. Come here, Rasputin. What is it?

What is it? And don't give me all this "Jesus Zebediah" shite.

Frank...

I believe in God, all right? There's no two ways about that.

That's rock solid. See, I know that He...

- Or She. - Yeah, or She, exists.

Grand designs, you know, making all the plans,

whether you're a Jew, a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Hindu,

a Shinto, we're all the same.

Whatever he, she or it...

it's there.

Well, as an avowed atheist, I can only believe in God

when I can perceive a direct personal threat.

Right.

But I'll choose not to ridicule your superstition.

See, it's...it's just the people that I don't buy into, yeah?

I mean, they're dishonest, aren't they? They're in it for 'emselves.

It's all about me, me, me.

Yeah, I can see that would be a drawback in your game.

Wouldn't want people to be selfish in the church of God, would we?

Hey, confession must be a laugh, though. And then there's the wine.

Drink?

No, thank you, it's not quite my... it's not my vintage.

You know what? This is like a needle in a haystack, isn't it?

Which is easier for a camel to...

pass into

than...rich man.

Mm.

Bible stuff.

Oh.

Shall we just search in silence?

(DOG BARKS)

Frank?

You fucking freak!

I need to save you!

Take you to the cop shop to help free a Sister...Sledge! Brown Sugar!

(ANGELIC MUSIC ON SOUNDTRACK)

I have power.

I don't want to hurt you.

Forgive me for what I'm about to do. Crucify!

- (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) - (YOUTHS LAUGH)

Ah! That's not supposed to happen!

(SIREN BLARES)

Go!

- (GRUNTS) - (MAN ON CAR RADIO)

I don't understand.

I have power.

(MAN ON CAR RADIO)

Oh, we're never out, are we?

I'll go back round the Jockey and get some more.

No, please. Um...would you mind if I did?

I could do with some air.

- I will walk with you. - No, really. I'd like to go alone.

- I'll tell Jamie you're coming. - I'll be quick.

- Hey, go round the back at this time. - MIMI: Don't hang around.

Loads of knobheads roaming the place now.

So, is that, you know, why you left the dog-collar business?

Lack of...a crisis of faith in your fellow man?

(CLATTERING)

What?

- Tossers. - Yeah.

As far as I'm concerned, yeah.

And the official story?

- Alleged alcoholism... - (TUTTING)

...and the fact that I impregnated a 16-year-old.

- Girl, I take it? - Oh, yeah.

She was a girl I got pregnant, you know. But she was all woman.

I mean, she could have passed for 20 any day of the week.

But she lost the baby.

Poor thing.

So, are you barred, or just suspended for a few games?

The diocese put me on a 24-month sabbatical, to get myself sorted.

Is that likely?

Look, Frank, I can have sex with any girl I like, all right?

And I drink as hard as I can, so I can't think...or remember.

But the demons live on.

You know, all that shagging and drinking, yes, oh, I feel your pain.

I'm just lost, Frank.

So's my coat. Let's just deal with that first, shall we?

Come on.

(LOW CHATTER)

- Hey, look at the state of that. - All right, darling?

That you, Gloria?

Oh! You near gave me a heart attack.

Sorry. Er...three bottles.

Two white, one red. Should see you through till the morning.

Oh, I don't know. Patty really knows how to put it away.

How's it going inside?

Er...a sewing bee. Yeah, we're all doing one patch each.

End of the night, we'll put them together and make a big quilt. It's nice.

You'll be drinking camomile tea while you're at it.

Yeah, something like that.

Oh, fuck!

Hey, what?

I'm sorry. It's just it's been a really strange night.

Hm. Don't apologise.

Sorry.

No, I'm...I'm sorry.

Powell, Avril. Off your arse.

- Where did you get it? - Caught the fuckers what did it.

I told you I'd free you!

Yeah, you foretold it.

Free from the shame, from the chains of history!

It's important you understand this.

I love my history, love the West Indies.

Nobody's been through what we have.

Shat on for centuries, on three continents, and still standing.

The most beautiful, resilient people on the planet.

Where are you going?

Tell them I didn't do it. I saved you.

If you are the Messiah, maybe this is your destiny.

- He's not the Messiah, he's a... - Don't fucking say it.

Oh! Oh, you dirty bint!

You know, I wish I was more like you. I admire you.

I can see that.

I mean, you might rant and rave and all the rest of it,

but you're not complicated, you're the sum of your appetites.

I have never been so insulted.

Huh.

Or flattered.

See, I need the distraction. You live the distraction.

Takes discipline.

Your parka's gone, Frank.

Oh, I have faith.

Do you?

The nonexistent Lord will provide.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, God.

Oh, I'm tired.

Yeah, I know you are, son.

You won't always be, though.

Better get home, back to our Gloria.

Hey, hurry up now.

In case anyone else has hopped on your toadstool...

- (CHUCKLES) - ...and robbed your fishing pole.

- I, er...I'd better... - Do you want me to walk you?

No, that wouldn't be a smart move, would it?

You've, er...

Thank you.

- Did Gloria come? - Yeah.

We're not in it to make friends, sweetheart. It's business.

And never forget that we're in the fantasy business.

Never forget that we're in the fantasy business.

- Behave. - I am.

I'm cold.

The A-B-C of prostitution. Always be coming.

In the fantasy business, always be coming.

Are you still a virgin?

No, I lost it when I was 12.

- Makes me sad. - Me too.

If I'm still one when I'm 21...

Yeah, I'll marry you.

- (CHUCKLES) - I mean...

It's OK. I know what you meant.

LIBBY: It's like old times.

Two old slappers in pit helmets,

talking about spunk-to-cash ratios, just like old times.

(THEY GIGGLE AND SIGH)

- Hm. - I'll boil a pan on the stove.

- Make us a cuppa. - Go on, then.

I like it here.

Mm.

18...

19...

- ...20! Ah! - (LAUGHS)

Honestly, you're so shit, man!

By the time you're like 30, you're going to be like 16 stone,

big fat gut!

I don't give a shit! As long as I'm happy and Mimi loves me.

No chance! You want the same as me. You want to be the same as me!

You're wrong! I am happy. You should try it.

You're not seeing what I'm facing, though.

Huh?

Another 40 years behind this counter or another one just like it.

Told what I'll do, what I'll earn, what my life is! But by who?

By a bunch of old guys with beards.

Yeah, with beards.

See, I need to be strong. I have to force it.

Ah...!

Slow down, man! It's a marathon, not a sprint.

There is nothing I can't do!

Nothing!

Ches?

Ches, what are you doing?

What the fuck? Chesney, what are you doing?

Ches! Chesney!

- Go, go, go! - Hello?

Eh! Manners!

What do you think you're doing? Fuck off!

It's me!

Still don't believe in you.

GLORIA: Some people think you should embrace your mistakes,

make them part of you.

Why waste time and energy feeling guilty? What's the point?

We're only human, after all.

Even those just starting out.

Thing about mistakes is, when you're making them,

when you're in the middle of them, they don't feel wrong.

Some even feel...

pretty good.