Original subtitles

Previously on Vanderpump Rules, maybe Miami's the perfect time for us to just

all get along again.

You've been texting the whole time.

Tiffany and maybe a little bit of Carmen.

It's about dead even right now.

Am I starting to miss Carmen a little bit? Yeah, I mean, I love her.

Maybe you have a sex addiction.

Yeah, of course I have a sex problem.

That's not really attractive to me at all.

Does it bother you that she's coming to my bachelorette party? I didn't realize

she was.

Once I feel betrayed, it's done.

Hello.

Hi. I'm going to go.

I want you to be happy, I promise you.

Tom still has strong feelings for me, and I want to break Tom and Ariana up.

Thanks for taking me to work tonight.

You are so very welcome.

I have to try to get there on time because I need to change. I have, like,

my stuff with me.

Well, I know, and I want you to get cut first because Mama can't go out that

late. Yeah, we're partying tonight, right? Yeah. Should I wear a push -up

Like, is it that kind of night?

I think you should always wear a push -up bra.

That happens, like, four times a year. I love when sexy Stassi comes out. Sexy

Stassi? Yeah.

Are you excited for the sexy, unique restaurant tonight?

Yeah. Everybody's back from Miami.

That sucks.

I know.

But I have Katie there. I'll be able to talk to Katie.

Oh, that's so happy for you. That's great.

How mad are you? I'm really mad. It's actually really annoying.

Like, how are you not annoyed?

How are you not upset? Because I do actually understand why she went. Well,

hasn't even told me why she went.

Do you know how much of an asshole that made me feel like? That I found out from

Sheena, a girl I don't like, that my best friend is going to her bachelorette

party? Don't best friends, like, talk about everything?

I don't know who she is right now.

I was left in the dark. I'm supposed to be her best friend. I don't agree with

that. What is that? That I don't agree with. But I still am this, like, awkward

middleman where I do understand why she went and I understand why you're mad.

I'm just really hurt and I'm just over it. And seriously, I'm just done.

If you want to get me some sir takeout, yo, I'd totally be okay with that. Oh,

like to -go? You want me to get you a to -go order right now? Yeah, box that

shit up, mother.

Wait, why are you dropping me off so far away?

Pull all the way up. You just told me that everyone came back from Miami. I'm

not pulling up there.

Doc, you dropped me off at the front. No, you're skinny and in shape. You can

walk.

You're such a bitch.

Oh, well, text me when you're done.

Yeah, I will. Pick me up at the back.

That's the actual back of the restaurant.

Don't press me or else I'll pick you up across the street.

Oh, my God.

Here's the virgin strawberry. Do you like sugar on the ribs?

All right, guys, I'll be right back.

Let me know if I can get you anything else, but in the meantime, I'll just

that there when you're ready.

Hello, you.

Hi. So what's going on in Jax's world?

We miss Miami.

You all had a good time.

Was Sheena happy? That's the most important thing. Sheena was very happy.

how was she? Katie was good, surprisingly. So you're good with Katie?

Yeah. Hi.

Thank you so much for the upgrade.

That room was insane.

Was it all good fun?

So awesome.

Everyone got along.

Well, I like that.

I mean, we both do. That's really good.

They sometimes go on these trips and they come back at each other's throats.

They all work so closely together at CERT. So this is music to my ears.

How's it going?

Very good, thank you.

Excellent. I'll add it to your table.

I need a virgin strawberry with a sugar rim and a glass of rose. Okay.

Tom and I finally spoke about our relationship, about the breakup. It was

of like validation.

Sorry that we didn't work out.

There's no way.

Obviously, these feelings are still there, and they're very real.

So if Ariana weren't in the picture, Tom and I would still stand a chance of

being together.

Hey, how's it going?

Good. How's it going with you?

Good. Seen our best friend any time tonight?

Dodie?

Yeah, she's come by the bar a few times.

Tom told me about his talk with Kristen in Miami.

All he's trying to do is make it so that maybe she can be happy and move on. So

far, I think it's working.

I'm cautiously optimistic.

She hasn't said anything, so good. I like it.

I was Miami.

I thought it was great. Everyone was really nice.

And then I drank myself into oblivion.

Well, it's a party. You shouldn't be drinking yourself. I don't know if I

be getting blackout drunk.

Because sometimes when I get drunk, I become a make -out slut.

Yeah. So are you drunk right now? No.

Unless you're giving me wine. Sure, why not?

I'm like that virgin slut in high school that never has sex but makes out a lot.

That's kind of me in my adult life. People are telling me that I...

Okay.

Yeah. I don't want to say that nothing happened with Jax because I don't really

remember all of it.

But, you know, I just, I saw this quote the other day and it's, um, blackouts

are God's way of saying, don't worry about it.

While you guys were having fun, I was here, actually, slaving away.

I was organizing a few things.

You actually look like you've been working out. Well, you know, I'm not

brag. You should button up your shirt.

I can't.

Because they're so big.

I am a ladies' man. I'm not going to brag. I go on a lot of dates, and I like

lot of women. But I am craving a partnership.

What is this?

Is that a tattoo?

Wait, wait, let me guess.

What does that mean? The half of a heart.

The person that I marry will have the other half.

Cool.

Hi. I was busy up in the front the whole time. I kept trying to come back here

to talk to you, but it didn't happen. How did it go?

It went surprisingly really well. I was really nervous about going, obviously.

Still, like, concerned about Stassi, and she's really upset. As far as

everything goes right now, obviously your friendship is, like, over.

It's dumb, though. I didn't do anything wrong.

It's a complete slap in the face to not even hear this information from Stassi,

that I have to hear it through Christina Kelly. Like, Stassi doesn't even have

the decency or respect for myself or our friendship to let me know this.

It's just a shame that your friendship has to end this way.

You guys want something to drink?

I'd love a brewski. Be right back.

It's so stressful doing, like, the seating chart for 300 people. I couldn't

imagine. Just so you all know, you're all at the same table. You guys and

and Schwartz and Jackson and Carmen.

You say Jackson and Carmen like they're going as, like, a couple. Isn't

everything cool with them?

He's trying really hard. I'll be.

I figured Jax and Tiffany were broken up when he came to me and begged me to put

Carmen at the same table as him for my wedding.

Jax's dating life f***ed with my seating chart.

Let's switch gears. We need to hear you like kind of like suss out the whole

song. Okay. So it'll be like a full count. So you'll be like one, two, one,

two, three.

Do you like me? And I like you.

We can maybe work it out just us two. We can maybe work it out just us two. Huh,

yeah.

Ain't no reason to let it go.

Uh -oh, uh -oh, uh -oh, uh -oh.

And then he comes in, let me see you shake that.

A little auto -tune in there.

I'm going to sound great.

I'm really excited about it.

And I'm performing at the wedding. I don't know if I told you guys.

Yeah? I'm going to hop up on the head table, rip off my dress, have an outfit

under. What?

That's the second time you... And did that.

He's like, oh, that's awesome. And in his head, he's like, are you f***ing

kidding me?

My voice is still gone from Miami.

We had fun.

The guys had fun. There was only like a dinner when Tom and Jack started getting

into that. You definitely railed the s*** out of that girl in the bathroom.

I did not.

Dude, you're lying.

It almost sounded like they were both trying to hide something.

We don't talk about what happened in Miami.

Oh yeah, what happened in Miami, Jax? Were you there or were you with some

on a beach?

Back to the old boys, boy code, I guess.

What was the conversation with Tom outside?

It was heavy.

It was really heavy.

She was getting a little uncomfortable about that.

Yeah.

I'll talk to her about it privately.

It pissed me off in Miami when she spoke to Tom and she's like, I'll always have

love for you in my heart.

They were together for six years. I understand that it's going to take some

time. But here you have, you know, Mr.

Right over here trying to give you everything and make you happy.

So, yeah, anyway, I don't know how much longer I can deal with it.

Coming up.

I think you talking to me is kind of inappropriate.

Why? Talk to your girlfriend. Stop texting me.

Well, hello.

Hi.

How are you?

Good.

How are you doing? I kind of ordered for you.

I kind of know what you want.

Right. How are you?

Good, good. How are you?

Been a hot minute, huh?

Yeah, it has, actually.

First off, I want to say thanks for coming. I didn't think you'd really

I thought this was kind of like a mutual meeting place. It's daytime.

So I won't kill you.

You know, Carmen and I had a really nasty breakup.

You're 35 years old.

Stop with the partying. Get focused. Get on track. Get your life together.

You know, the way we left things wasn't the greatest.

I mean, we broke up at a pizza place, for God's sake. So, you know, I deserved

all that. Yeah, I really haven't spoken to you since Miami.

I was texting back and forth.

I think the idea of you talking to me was kind of inappropriate, given the

situation. Why?

You were texting me back.

Yeah, but what did I text you back?

Talk to your girlfriend. Stop texting me.

I wasn't trying to be appropriate. I was just asking what's going on, and I kind

of just felt bad.

Felt bad about how things ended.

If you want to land a nice, good girl, you have to be a nice guy. I know.

Like, with Tiffany, I found she's amazing.

Just sometimes she's missing something, you know?

And we just miss her.

Did you wake up with her?

Are you being serious?

Yeah.

I don't trust you.

Are you going to go back there next week? No. Like, when you're in a

relationship, it should just come easy. It should just work.

It's just easy with us.

So then why didn't it? Like, I just... I'm trying to make amends here.

I know, but I want you to understand... Right,

but it's easy for you to do that because you weren't the one that... Like I

said, I didn't...

I'm sorry for how I treated you, and I'm sorry how I ended things. You really,

really hurt me.

I know.

I'm just trying to make good graces with you. Because I don't want it to be

uncomfortable. You're friends with Sheena. I want you to be like, hey, you

I want to go to this wedding, but it's Jackson's beer. I didn't want that.

Right, but I don't want it to be weird if all of a sudden we are out, and I

bring a date with me.

Okay? I'm not having a date. I don't want you, like, punching a date that I

bring or being aggressive. Well, you're not bringing a date to the wedding. I'm

not bringing a date to the wedding, no, but I'm saying in general. No, I get it.

Carmen is the best sex I've ever had.

And from what she... Don't get it.

Speaking of you not having a date, if you just so happen to want to maybe...

nice try.

Nice try.

I'm just throwing it out there. If you can think about it, don't give me an

answer right now. Maybe just let it ponder.

I just thought about it, and that's a no.

Really? That's a no. Are you serious?

Of course. No, I'm not going to go with you.

All right. I'll see you there anyways. We're like sitting beside each other.

Really? Oh, it's weird that she needed that.

Funny how she works though. Did you tell her to do that? No.

You so did. I don't know her seating chart. You so did. You're such a brat.

But I did rent a beautiful cottage up there.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to spend the night.

You're not spending the night either? No.

I have no ulterior motive at all. None. All right. Maybe a little bit.

Yeah. A little bit?

You know, usually when I want to get back together with a girl, you know, I

and dine her and charm her a little bit. But with Carmen, she's giving me a

little run for my money. So hopefully in time, I'll wear her down.

You look pretty.

Thank you.

So do you.

Hello, Vale. How are you?

I am great. How are you? Hi. How are you? Nothing.

All good?

Yeah. All good.

Hello, John. Hi.

And for how many people?

Three. Okay. Sounds good. See you then.

Hello. Hey. How are you doing? I feel like I'm, you know, getting a handle on

things and that people are cool.

Especially me, right?

You're a good boss.

I try.

Yeah.

I'm trying to get this button never works for this shirt. Do you need me to

you? Yes, please. Okay. How many do we have tonight? No, you just like put it

through there? I see, I see. Yeah. There you go.

Awesome. We have a total of 134 covers. I think our biggest party is 30 at 9 in

the garden. Wow, that's awesome.

Multitasking. Is this one not? Oh, good.

I would have to use my left hand for this.

Oh, you never use your left hand?

Sometimes I use my left.

I don't need to see Peter trying to get laid or a veil.

I like to be efficient and, like, keep everyone happy by spreading everything

out. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah? So it's not, like, super top -heavy on one

section.

Super top -heavy. Just like me, top -heavy, right? Okay, all right, yeah.

Anyway, take the word.

I'm going to come in and see what's up with Tom, and maybe cow -toddle Lisa a

little bit if she's in there.

Oh, dear. Yeah, keeps my ass.

Hello, you two.

Hello, Lisa.

Hi. How are you? So what's happening?

Oh, I thought I'd just come in and say hi to everybody.

What, you wanted to do like some bartending or what? Yeah, lend my

So how was Miami?

All good. I'm so glad this one came.

I'm glad you went. I'm so glad you went. I feel like a massive weight's been

lifting. Obviously, having to work with everyone, you know, it doesn't help me

to be... That was my point, Diane.

Stassi's made her decision, and she can alienate herself from the rest of the

group, but she's not working here anymore.

No. It's a very different situation.

Exactly. And you're with all these people, and you have a history with

glad you went.

That's the issue that still remains, is that, you know, I haven't talked to

Stassi. I have reached out to her.

I have no idea...

Why she's mad at me, how mad she is. But Christina Kelly had to tell me that

Stassi's done with our friendship.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

I was actually there when you called her.

Oh, you were? Yeah, I encouraged her to speak to you. She's making these

decisions and I don't really understand them.

I think it's absolutely crazy for Stassi to cut Katie out of her life. I mean,

what's Stassi going to do? She's going to end up living all alone on Stassi

Island? Is that what she wants?

Even by Stassi's standards, she's been...

supremely stubborn in regards to this whole issue. I mean, even for her

standards, yeah, it's been a bit much.

I hope somewhere down the road, Katie and Stassi sort of mend that friendship.

At the same time, Stassi's shown her true colors here, and I'm not so sure

such a good friend.

You have lived a little bit, if I'm really honest, under her shadow. Now I

you're becoming stronger.

It's so frustrating to me how she just treats everyone around her like they're

just bugs. Okay, you know what? You've done nothing wrong. Remember that. You

have done nothing. That is the biggest point is that I've done nothing wrong.

And I encourage you to go, so blame it on me.

No. I'll see you later. Come on, get back to work.

Coming up. I get a text today from my enemy girl.

Nailed it.

Boom. Do this.

Okay, so these are supposed to be really cool. I read in some book that L .A.

has all these weird secret stairs or something, and this is in the secret L

stair guide.

I'll trust you.

Are we running?

No, I'm just racing you.

Rachel was my first friend in L .A. She has a stand -up comedian.

And she has all of these amazing jokes about this dumbass ex -boyfriend of

I used to date someone that was really into porn. So I installed a nanny cam.

And I just had hours of him beating off.

And this ex -boyfriend happens to be Jack.

She and Jack introduced me to Tom and the rest is history.

You're going to shoot yourself.

What? I get a text today.

From Miami girl.

Seriously? Yeah. So I haven't talked to him in months.

Well, I'll just read exactly what she wrote. I said, I really do appreciate

talking to me about this. I had to ask. I didn't know if it was true.

She said, you slept with him, right?

She said, yes.

All the weird ass that you did in Miami that we all know to be true. It's not

true, Kristen.

She basically just said that she's going to be in L .A.

She said, quote, end quote, I want to confront him in front of Ariana.

I would love to see the look on Tom's face if he saw me in person. He's such a

liar. Ann Marie told me she and a few girlfriends met up with the boys in

And long story short, she had sex with Tom.

And she said, I looked on Instagram and Ariana blocked me. Like, how stupid are

girls sometimes?

Well, why would Ariana not block her? Gets into description about Tom's man

situation.

And that was it. Wait, what did you say about his man situation?

Ugh.

I can describe his small shaved penis what more purpose he needs.

It fits the description.

So that's kind of like hitting the fan. Well, do you believe her?

Oh, 100 % I do. And the bottom line is if Jax would just be honest about what

knows and what he has said has happened.

Because Jax told me about Tom and that girl way before it ever came out on

social media. Like two weeks before that. And now he's denying it like he

does. Stop defending me.

I'm not looking at anybody.

You and Sandoval? It's a f***ing joke.

But this whole thing with this Miami girl is going to hit the fan if she

up to LA.

Do you feel like Ariana will... I would love to see the f***ing look on his face

when she walks in.

Man.

Yo, what's going on?

Not much, brother. How you doing?

Not much.

Seem to be on your phone again.

No, I was just taking care of some work stuff.

Yeah. So, I hear you're going on a date with Val.

Yeah. I asked her for coffee.

When I first met Val, I honestly was like, wow, nice.

I'm a glass figure.

That's my type of girl.

And also, she was all over me, so I just asked her out.

Best case scenario, what comes out of tonight?

I haven't been in a relationship, how long has it been now?

I've been just dating...

on and off for about two years. Well, here you go. This could be it right

You never know.

I love Peter, but zero game.

He'll get in, but nine times out of ten, he crashes and burns.

Just be careful.

Haven't you learned from hooking up with girls in thorough? Where does it get

you?

Nowhere. Just because it's a track record. No, mine's not as bad as yours.

I hooked up with Katie. I hooked up with Stassi.

I mean, I did the same thing. I hooked up with Stassi.

Well, I dated Stocky. I hooked up with Kristen.

I hooked up with Rachel.

And let's not forget the all -time winner, Laura Lee.

You are an asshole, and you can't bully me out of here.

You're fucking stuck with me until I book a job.

You knocked that one over the top.

Yeah, I hit a grand slam with that one.

You got a straightener, too?

I do.

Tom is rubbing off on you.

If this wine date goes well, I would really consider cleaning up this bedroom

case you bring her back here.

Wait, it's not clean enough?

Maybe make your bed. Who knows? The light goes well.

I hope you watch the sheep.

For veil things.

Hi.

How are you?

I brought some champagne.

Oh, my gosh.

Is that gold in it? I think so, yeah. Did you get me some gold?

Cheers. Cheers.

My studio's upstairs. You guys haven't seen it. Let's go.

I have to show you my jewel.

Yeah. It's like a legitimate showroom.

It's kind of a little bit Egyptian.

You can see Cleopatra wearing it.

I designed statement necklaces because statement necklaces are my favorite

accessory. It's like...

At least when someone's not making eye contact, I know they're not staring at

boobs.

Super proud of you. This is huge.

Thanks. It really is.

It's so annoying because I feel like the whole Sir Crew just thinks I'm this

loser that just moved from my boyfriend and put on cute outfits every day and

lived off my parents or something.

But I'm like, no, I hustled. I tried really hard.

So what's up with you guys?

I talked to Katie at SUR, and she says that she tried reaching out to you so

many times. I don't know why she's saying that. She literally wrote me a

saying, H -E -Y.

That's it. Hey.

And I didn't respond because I don't respond to lame texts.

It's just so ironic that in order to save her relationship, she has to go

out with the people that tried to ruin it.

I'd feel really bad about myself.

Look at the bigger picture.

You have to understand why she did make the decision to go. I'm weirded out by

everything. I just feel like she's a little different than what I thought.

Forgiveness, I don't, I mean. If she apologizes, I love a good apology.

I want her to just be like, listen, it was stuff that I didn't tell you. It was

stuff that Sheena had to tell you. I'm really sorry that this was all behind

your back and I made you think that this would never happen.

I don't want to throw the friendship away.

All I want is a little bit of remorse.

I'm, like, thirsty.

I'm ravenous for an apology from Katie. I don't want this friendship to end.

Like, it would be so sad she hasn't gone over to the dark side just yet, or at

least I hope not.

Is it high in here?

It's just me.

Huh.

I need a drink.

Would you like a glass of wine? I was thinking more chamomile tea.

Chamomile tea?

Because it's the middle of the day.

This is not the middle of the day.

It is.

Five. Don't interrupt.

Got you something to drink?

Yes. What were you thinking?

What would you like?

Well, I apparently need to come to peer pressure, so I'm getting a glass of

wine. Let's just do a bottle really quick, a bottle of Malbec. A bottle? Are

crazy? I'm serious.

Malbec? Okay, I'll be right back.

Are you trying to... This isn't like a... This is supposed to be a coffee

What? What?

No.

A coffee date means coffee in the daytime.

A little casual conversation doesn't mean a lot. Why are you trying to make

look like something more than it was?

This is interesting.

I don't think we're on the same page.

We're definitely not on the same page.

Thank you.

Cheers.

The way I charm a lady is I look deep into her eyes.

And I usually get some appetite.

Peter is making it. So awkward on this date that I might have to pull out the

old, like, I'm a lesbian trick, which I haven't had to use in a long time

because I stopped being a lesbian.

You are awkward.

How am I awkward?

I like that Vale called me out. It's kind of hot.

It means that she's paying attention to me, and that's all right in my book.

So, have you ever dated anyone at Sir?

I dated Dossie.

So you and Jax have overlap.

Yeah, we're Eskimo brothers, as you would say.

What the?

Who else?

Katie and I had a fling.

Katie? I was dating Stassi and Katie at the same time, and I had to choose.

So you were being a douche? I was. Okay.

Anyway, I got to go to Sir, so I don't want to be late.

The date was a bust.

She better get going. I got to go. Okay, cool. I'll walk you out. That was a

very nice bottle of wine.

Coming up.

So you think this is loyal and unwavering? Oh, sure.

I've started.

So you want to see the kind of guy I'm really attracted to? Come on.

Oh, geez. Here we go.

He's a little older. He's got gray hair. Oh, geez. Oh, my God.

You're so beautiful.

Bluetooth.

Isn't he beautiful?

Oh, my gosh.

Is this your dog?

So he's not a service dog, so I guess he can't come in.

Can you say it is a service dog? You're a service dog. I am a service dog.

Now, this is a real man.

This is a sexy man. I would make out with you. I would do it doggy style. I'd

have puppies. I would do anything with you. I mean, come on.

I mean, that is after me.

He's a sexy looking guy. Isn't he? He's got bigger balls.

Oh, I don't want to know about that.

Woof.

Wow, it's beautiful.

Get your dirty paws off.

There.

Hey. Hi. I was going to grab coffee.

Okay. Oh, thank you so much. You're welcome. There you go.

We're finally having our little coffee date. Unlike yesterday, it was not a

coffee date. I know.

That's it. I am done with females at CERT. Even if it's Taylor Swift and she

starts working at CERT, I am not doing it. No way. I won't do it.

Okay, maybe I will.

So I'm going to go back to work. You're fine. Okay. All right.

What's going on? Hey, man. What's going on?

Oh, you know, busy day, the usual.

Oh, my God. Hi.

Hey, babe. I said, like, a party of 22 and 15 arrived at the same time.

So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room here?

What elephant?

I accidentally went on a date with Peter without meaning to.

How's the date, man? I need to know.

Well,

it... Uh -oh.

Kind of got a little awkward. Are you kidding?

He texted and was like, okay, so coffee.

And I'm like, yeah, because I do coffee meetings all the time. And then he

switched to wine.

Oh, awkward.

Hello. Hey.

How are you?

Peter had a little date last night. Oh, good.

Who is it then?

Vale. I thought that you were having a little flirtation with her. I don't

I was flirting. If I recall the situation with Darcy, you're actually

happy.

I'm just saying.

While we're on our coffee -turned -wine date, he mentions that he's dated you

and Safi. I'm like, how do you think this is a mood lifter? This is like a

killer.

Bail is really hard to read. You're not really sure if she's into it or not, and

then she kind of teases.

What's wrong with that?

I love the fact that she's giving you two wallies a run for your money. It's

fantastic.

Sir, and everyone just eventually dates each other. Welcome to the club.

Oh, boy. I got to stay away.

I would prefer it if you do not date somebody who's working here.

He's supposed to be above the staff, not on top of them.

Do you need me for anything else?

Just the fact that you're here talking to us is all that we need.

Well, save that for your bimbos, okay?

Let's get to work, okay? All right? All right, let's go.

Bye.

Have you talked to Stassi at all? Did you ever patch it up?

Actually, she responded to me, and we're going to meet up tomorrow and talk.

I'm hoping that once he hears where I'm coming from and actually listens to me,

that maybe she will understand where I'm coming from and realize that it's not a

betrayal. She's still my best friend. You're able to hold both those spaces,

being a good girlfriend and being a good friend to her.

That's crazy.

I feel like the amount of work that you have to put in just to get her to be

normal and supportive, you should look at and make sure you're getting back

you put in. I definitely get what you're saying.

Hey. If you and Stassi got past dating Peter at the same time, I mean, anything

could happen, right?

Never say never, by the way.

Piece of cake.

I'm just going to get the chicken pesto panini, please.

Yes, please.

You pick one, and then I'll love it. I'll love it no matter what.

I have a good feeling about Sheena's next song, you know?

I feel like it's very current. Like, the production's there.

Like, she just needs to get in the studio, record it, and then we'll see

it goes, you know? Yeah, but, like, she's got to cut the whole, like, porn

rapping thing.

Like, this, and, like, the whole time.

Like, it's cool, like, maybe for, like, a hot second. That's what makes her

tracks kind of people think that they're kind of a joke, when it's not a joke,

and it's actually a really f***ing good track.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nice, that's great. Thank you.

Cheers.

Jesus.

Emery, the Miami chick, like, she really chose faith at first.

I couldn't even imagine. I'll die.

Like, I don't even know what the hell is going to happen if that chick actually

Oh my God. shows up to LA.

Like, I'm, like, getting warm thinking about it. She is hell -bent on making

sure she confronts him and that everyone knows what a piece of flyer he is.

Right. And I seem like a little evil queen right now, going like... But I,

like... Sorry, dude, you deserve it. Karma's a bitch.

Sorry.

Truth always comes out. We admit it.

Yeah.

But...

It's kind of weird, like... Why?

I don't like it how you, like, kind of pursue the whole blah, blah, blah,

to cut him out thing. In all honesty, a few months ago, she was texting me that,

like, he missed me and that, like, you know, he shouldn't have jumped into a

relationship with Ariana and he jumped too quickly and he shouldn't have given

himself time to be single. I mean, that was totally selfishly why I wanted to

talk to her. That was my initial reaction.

Which I know isn't fun for you to hear. I'm just being very honest.

But then after that, when she started really filling her gut, I was, like,

appalled.

On one hand, it's frustrating to me because Kristen won't stop talking about

this Miami girl and this whole obsession.

But on the other hand, you know, I can understand why she's frustrated. I mean,

the fact is that Tom went to Miami, stuck his dick in another girl, and

are the consequences that he has to pay for.

At the end of the day, Anne -Marie said that Tom and her had sex, right?

And Tom's the one hiding it. So, yeah, if she's talking to Thern, we can go up

to Tom and Ariana having an old dandy time bartending behind the bar. And

just like, hey, Tom.

And you know what? Tough shit for me.

Shouldn't have dug yourself that hole. I agree. End of story.

Can I have that Egyptian chamomile tea? Thank you.

Hi. Hi.

How are you?

I'm good.

My advice for Katie is just, like, shut your mouth and listen and nod and say

you're right and say I'm sorry.

So what happened?

Where would you like me to start?

Why you let things go down the way they went down.

I know you're upset with me.

I don't know if you're upset because I went to Miami. Honestly, it's mainly the

way that I had to find out.

It's really unfortunate, and I feel like there's no excuse for that. You knew

that you did something wrong by not telling me. You were ignoring me. You

tried to tell me. Maybe if you would have texted me back, I could have told

Katie, if you would have said, I have something to talk to you about. You

want to talk to me. I could sense that you were mad at me already about

something, and I hadn't even got this going. It doesn't matter, Katie.

I would have tried everything to get a hold of you.

I'm not going to tolerate being disrespected. I'm not a fucking doormat.

fucking friend.

And you know there's no reason for it. This is like a bullshit cop -out thing.

And I'm not even going to, there's no point. Because I'm disappointed. You

this mad at me. Because I didn't get to you before Sina did. You owed it to me

to tell me. Then we weren't that great of friends. Oh my God, that is bullshit.

Then we weren't. Don't even say that.

She can't be serious.

After four and a half years of friendship, everything we've been

were like closer than sisters even.

We want to get our whole vaginas and butts waxed off.

There we go. I think we got that. That's great.

We got it down.

I hate that you would ever think that I did not have your back.

I love you.

I love you.

It's crushing to know that this friendship wasn't equal.

It's insulting how you turn around and throw something like this in my face

I've done nothing but have unwavering loyal and support to you. Oh, my God.

how long? So you think this is loyal and unwavering support?

Oh, shut up, Stassi.

When I feel a certain way about someone, I don't go on vacations with them and

pretend to all get along. Okay, that's your decision.

It's not always about you.

Coming up. What was I supposed to do, sit at home and text you until you text

back? That.

When I feel a certain way about someone, I don't go on vacations with them and

pretend to all get along. Okay, that's your decision.

It's not always about you.

I wanted to go to Miami. I wanted to hang out with you. I know you did. But

was I supposed to do, sit at home and text you until you text me back?

F*** that.

Like, what the f*** is wrong with you? I've supported all of your decisions.

I just thought we were on the same page. But because I changed my mind, I can

feel how I want to feel.

And right now, like, with my relationship and everything, it, like,

to Tom. And I'm sorry, but Tom is very important to me at this point. And we're

trying very hard to be supportive of one another and give the other person what

they need in order to be happy and feel like we're working together and we're

both, like, meeting in the middle and compromising certain things. It means a

lot for him to see me do that.

What happened is Stassi met an older guy and moved to New York for about four

minutes. So now she thinks she lives in this adult world. And with that comes

condescension to everyone, including me, that we're all children and our

relationships don't matter and we work bullshit jobs.

You need to spawn this into a fucking big...

And I want to be friends because I don't want to wake up like you every morning

with hatred and anger in my heart. I don't. You do.

You think I have hatred in my heart? I don't think about these people until I

moved back. And now I hate everything because I have to deal with these

And you are the last link to them. And right now they are my co -worker.

And I'm going on vacation. I went on vacation with my boyfriend. I don't

me to be around these people and still have your back.

I can't be around that.

Schwartz is best friends with these people.

It makes me feel really betrayed.

Katie and I have been friends for probably about four years. It went from

hanging out one day, her talking about how she would never have anything to do

with these people and how much she hates them, to all of a sudden her acting

like I'm a crazy person for being affected by her decision to change.

She doesn't seem to care or understand or even feel apologetic at all.

I can't make everyone happy, and the only person I'm worrying about making

is myself.

And that obviously comes with the fact, though.

It comes to the point where it's like, I've got to take care of Katie now. No

one else is worrying about me besides myself.

I think Stassi thought that she could put me on a guilt trip, make me see her

side. I have to go. But hopefully one day Stassi can understand that I'm just

making decisions that are best for myself, and it's nothing personal to

Next time on Vanderpump Rules.

She's treating you like she treats me right now. Like you're like frozen out.

You and Jax are like this right now.

One time you do something that doesn't agree with her bulls**t. My way or the

highway mentality, she f**king throws away the friendship.

Hi.

She looks like the kind of girl that Tom would pick out to have sex with. We had

sex. No, we did not. We had sex. No, we did not. Yes, we did. Do you know how

much I bet your f**king back? Tom f**ked up, not me.

This is all getting out of hand. She's f***ing crazy.

It seems very strange to me that a girl's going to come all the way across

country when there was nothing there.