All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S3E09

Previously on Vanderpump Rules... We're
doing a guy's trip to San Diego, kind of

like to pull on party weekend.

We're trying to bang her.

I'm not trying to bang her. I have a
girlfriend I'm very happy with.

Tom's letting you down.

I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not
that important to him.

Is this a man that you want to marry?
Absolutely.

I just took Katie for granted.

I really miss feeling, like, desired.

Party time, mother...

Sheena and Shay are having this joint
bachelor or bachelorette party in Miami.

Anyone that wants to go, that like says
something about their character.

Would you like something to drink? You
probably would. She knows where the bar

is. I'm not really sure what I've done
to you, but I'll take a Pinot Grigio.

It is actually my birthday today.

Look how cute.

Do you want the head?

I'm going to sit here. I'll sit next to
me.

I kind of feel excited that we're the
first people here. I'm always the first

person everywhere.

Really? I'm so on time to everything, it
disgusts me. Oh, really? She's nobody

else ever is. Yeah, especially in L .A.,
you're like setting yourself up to be

disappointed. For real.

But you feel good about yourself, you
know? I know how this works. A new girl

comes into Sir, everyone puts on their
phony faces and tries to get her to come

into their groove, so I feel for Vale. I
think she's smarter than that. She

needs to go down the right path.

She needs to pick my path.

Happy birthday.

Hey. Hi.

That's my mama. Hi.

Hi, Peter.

How's everyone doing? Hi.

Thank you. Thank you for coming.

We're not in Chicago this year. I'm
doing a chill birthday this year. I

what? Let's wine taste.

Yeah. That's civilized, right? Civilized
and mellow. In the past, I used to be

an absolute freak about my birthday.

It's my 25th birthday. Why are you here
for my birthday? This

year,

I don't have that same desire to make it
so much about me as I used to.

Does that mean I'm growing up?

So guys, left to right is lighter to
bigger body. You have a Prosecco on the

end.

Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand and
then a Chardonnay from California on the

very end. It's my dream to just have
three glasses of wine in front of me at

same time.

To Stassi and no drama, you guys.

Stassi and no drama.

After the last couple years and
literally having the drama with Kristen

and Sheena, we're all at such happy
places with each other. It's happy.

On the note of Sheena, we got our second
tier invite to Sheena's wedding three

weeks after the RSVP date.

What does that mean?

When not enough people respond to a
wedding, you then send out more

to people that you weren't actually
going to invite because you want to fill

the seat.

And Jen showed me this invitation last
night, and I all... Almost, I'm sorry,

sh** myself because it is literally the
cheesiest, tackiest invitation I could

have ever imagined. I had a vision of
what it would be and like the tackiness

level was at like a seven and a half.
This is at a, like 13 .8.

The amount of talking that I'm hearing
makes me a little uncomfortable because

you start to think, well, what are they
going to say about me?

Honestly, I want to. Maybe a fly on the
wall just at her wedding so I could

report back. You can go with Schwartz
because apparently he got an invitation.

What? In the mail. He told me that he
was invited. I was like, but there's not

been an invitation to the house. I hit
it like a coward.

Wait, it was only two years? You hit it
like a coward?

We were going through some stuff at that
time, so the timing wasn't right for me

to let her know.

I'm not happy that Tom got an invitation
to Sheena's wedding, not me, and that

he's been invited to the bachelor and
bachelorette party and not me, because I

feel like these are things that we
should be doing together.

Happy birthday to you!

It's all downhill from there, Tom.

You're here to pick up the platters?
Yes. For the event tomorrow?

Yes. Same sky event.

Okay, do you want a cup of tea? Sure.
You do? I was hoping you'd say no.

Okay, who's working tomorrow? Do you
know?

I think Ariana's bartending.

Yes, who else? I think Kitty's working
as well.

There you are. Thank you.

Um, okay.

So... Make sure the event goes fine
tomorrow. The women in Rwanda make money

from selling the jewelry.

So those are through setting up their
jewelry, passing appetizers, having a

drink. Hopefully they'll sell some
jewelry.

Same Sky is a wonderful organization
that supports women in Africa.

They've asked me to host an event, and
I'm always happy to support a good

My staff, maybe not so much. What else?
Anything else?

Well, the wedding is actually a month
from today. Right.

I'm not getting involved in your
wedding. I've done my thing.

I will be there. Of course I will be
there. But I'm not getting involved in

planning of your wedding. Just the bar.

Right. You want the sangria. Yeah.

Or Pandy can do that. She's so great at
planning everything. She's helping with

the bridal shower. We're doing that at
Villa Blanca. And don't let any of the

girls, the bitchiness and the
competitiveness, don't let it ruin your

Well, that's why they're not invited.

Well, who's not invited?

Starcy and Katie.

You didn't invite Starcy and Katie.

No. Why would I?

Oh, they could probably hang out
together because Schwartz will be at the

wedding. Hold on a second.

You're going to have Schwartz at the
wedding and Katie's not invited?

Yes. That doesn't make sense to me. But
she's Schwartz's other half. Come on.

Do you think Ken would go to a wedding
if I wasn't invited?

No, but that's different.

But I'm not going to just invite her to
the wedding. I would invite her to Miami

for my bachelorette party before the
wedding and see how she behaved.

I think Sheena should invite Katie.

I mean, if Ken went to a party without
me, I would actually wish him well on

way. I'll pack his bags, but guess what?
It'd be a one -way trip.

So maybe you should invite her to Miami
and see how it goes.

I will be nice to her when I work with
her tomorrow and extend the olive

A year ago, I thought Katie and Stassi
would literally be a part of my wedding.

Let's all do a shot.

Calm down. I love you. I love you. But
things change, and who knows? Maybe they

can change back.

And imagine how you would feel if you
were in the position of Katie, where

relationship wasn't great. You're happy
now. You're getting married.

I know. I can afford to be generous.
Here we are. I will.

Okay. Too heavy for you? Got it. I'm
strong.

Go on, then. All right. Here you are.

Just jamming in there, man.

We don't really have a choice.

Dude, I... Whose great idea was it not
to rent a car?

You know, Vegas, we rented a car. We
were smart. Yeah.

Hey. Hey.

Dude, I do not want to drive.

We don't really have a choice.

Tiffany, being the great girlfriend that
she is, you know, wanted us to have a

guys weekend, so she made a couple
calls. How's Vegas treating you? It's

good. It's really, really busy. Yeah?
Better money.

She decided to say, hey, we're going to
put you up in the suites. We're going to

rent some nightclubs for you. It doesn't
hurt to date someone in the hospitality

world, you know? All right, let's go,
man. I love you. I love you.

Bye, Mom. I'll be good. Be good. All
right.

Jax pretty much has a playbook for these
kind of trips.

He tries to get everyone drunk and then
pushes them into bad decisions.

So, do I want Tom to go to San Diego
with Jack?

Hell no.

But on the other hand, I don't want to
be this controlling bitch that's just

laying down the law.

That's a good idea.

Yeah. We gotta hurry up before she
changes her mind. Yeah, we do. Hurry.

Did you just blow kisses?

Hey, babe.

We're on our way to San Diego.

No, we just left.

We're not even out of L .A. yet. The
guys want to say thank you for this

weekend. Yeah, thank you, Tiffany.

Yeah, thanks, Tiffany. Thank you, Pip.

You're welcome.

So it's been less than three days since
Jack texted the world and said that him

and Tiffany had broken up, that now
they're back together.

And she is now coming to Miami. And
actually, she just set us up with this

awesome weekend in San Diego.

I can't keep up.

Be on your best behavior. We're going to
have a good time, but I'll make you

proud. All right. Love you, too. Bye.
Love you, too. When you said I'll make

proud, I just cut to a montage in my
head of you making out with, like, four

different girls. Dude!

Don't ever say that.

You know, there's been guys trips where
it's been about the girls, but I have a

girlfriend, Jax has a girlfriend,
Schwartz has a girlfriend, so this one

going to be more about the guys.

Guess who I had coffee with? Bill.

Uh -oh.

Why? No, no, I like her. I'm just
saying.

Why? Does Tiffany matter?

No. Does Tiffany know you had coffee
with her?

Yeah, that didn't go over well.

I told her after the fact, and I'm like,
she's like, why are you having coffee

with her? Like, there's no reason for
you to have coffee with her. She's like,

don't get it. It's not like, if it was
Safia, I wouldn't care, because it was

three years ago and this and that, but
this is a new girl. The thing was, like,

it wasn't a big deal until she saw it on
social media. She put, like, they all

put, like, oh, having coffee with Jack.

Jack. That's your pass, whatever. You
said she tweeted it? You tweeted it. No,

she put it.

No, you did. A little coffee with at
Vale Bloom.

Whatever. It's not even a big deal.

Dude.

Coming up.

I didn't come down here to text with
Tiffany all weekend.

Oh, my God. I don't think Tiffany knew
what she got us into.

They reserved it for us.

A bottle of vodka, a bottle of tequila.
Boom.

Done.

You guys want a spoon?

If we spoon, we can all fit on here. I
need some liquid courage here. All

so, Peter, there's plenty of women in
here now.

Oh, my God.

I don't think Tiffany knew what she got
us into.

I know, right?

I'm ready to make some moves here.

These girls are rowdy, man. They're a
rowdy bunch. I know.

You know what they want to do to you,
Tom?

I want it to happen.

I want to make you make out with
somebody.

Basically, Tiffany hooked us up with a
free room at the Hard Rock with all

parties and bottle service.

Tiffany, thus far, is my favorite out of
all the girls that Jax has been with.

That thing is clicking in with Jax where
he's getting really spaced and needing

some validation.

And he'll forget about Tiffany and start
looking for anyone to bring home.

I'm just having fun. You know, I didn't
come down here to text with Tiffany all

weekend. She knows where I'm at. She
said have a good time, and I'll talk to

later. Where's Peter?

Oh, no. Look for a cowboy hat. Look for
a cowboy hat. Look for a cowboy hat.

Wait a minute. There he is.

Where, where, where?

Right there. The girl with the pink.

Oh, no.

Yeah, dude.

Peter's getting it, man.

You know, who invented this whole
monogamy thing?

This person should be shot.

I'm just going to set these down because
they're really heavy. Yeah, of course.

You know, I'd love you to start looking
at some of the jewelry and see what

you'd like to wear. Oh, I like this.

This necklace buys school fees for one
year for a child.

Perfect.

Hey, girl.

Hey. You got to get some jewelry.

I'm making my napkins look nice. Oh,
nice. Hi.

Hi.

It's open beer, wine, and sangria,
water, soda, whatever, and then we'll be

passing some appetizers.

Okay. While you're here, I wanted to ask
you, you know, Schwartz is invited to

Shay's bachelor party in Miami, and I
was thinking if maybe you would like to

come to the bachelorette party, and I'm
also having my bridal shower tomorrow at

Villa if you want to come.

Ariana's coming, Pandora, Jenna, my mom,
sister.

We can try and have fun, and I don't
feel right inviting Schwartz and not

inviting you.

I know our friendship's been touch and
go, and we maybe not always get along

the time, but I would really like us to
try to. Maybe Miami's the perfect time

for us to just all try and get along
again, and if we do, awesome.

I want to be in Miami with my boyfriend.
I think we've been...

making a lot of progress, and that would
be a really good step for us. This is

supposed to be the happiest summer of my
life, and any animosity towards

friends, ex -friends, coworkers, I just,
like, I want to get rid of all of that.

I want to just have fun time. I'll
behave myself.

A lot of people may call me a friend
collector, but I always have room for

more friend. Besides, my mom has always
told me it's better to be the bigger

person, and that's something I always
am.

Hello, how are you doing? I'm doing
well. How's it going back there?

Very busy.

Where's your bracelet? You should be
promoting it. This is why we're here.

just waiting.

The pink looks good. Thank you. Do you
still have pink streaks?

Would you be offended if I did like
this?

I feel like if we just stand here,
people might actually eat.

Come on, do what you're supposed to be
doing.

It's an open bar.

Yeah, so there's sangria, beer, wine.

You're welcome.

How's it going?

So happy you're here.

It's going great. The girls have been
fantastic.

Your staff is incredible.

They did a gorgeous job. Okay, great.

How much are those?

These are $3 .99 or $3 .50, but you like
the most expensive things.

That's okay.

Of course I'm picking out all the most
expensive pieces. That's what I've been

trained for the last 32 years to do.

I would love to raise our glasses,
everyone.

And Lisa, you have made this possible.
It was a great event, and we helped many

people. And I got a nice piece of
jewelry, so win, win, win.

Yay!

Hey,

hey, this is for the club.

You haven't drunk enough yet.

My body's shutting down.

This is the club. Oh, this is where
we're going. There's so many hot girls

there, yo.

Keita, you better be bending somebody
over right here. I'm going to be. Thank

you, Jax. You're welcome.

Hey, Jax. The room is amazing.

Tiffany, thank you so much. Thank you,
Tiffany. Tiffany.

All right, guys. I don't know how much
time we have, but we need to get ready.

Look at that. Look at his underwear.

Oh, my God. Ew.

Hey, Adam Levine on steroids just
called. He wants his look back. Yeah.

Let's go.

We're walking out the door.

Most of the time, I hope that Jax
doesn't screw up. But this time in

because Tiffany did set all this up, I'm
really ready to intervene.

If I brought girls back here, you'd be
sure and tell everyone.

I didn't bring them back. You did bring
girls back here, Jax. What are you

talking about?

Whose great idea was to do this?

Yours.

I'm not kidding you, man.

I'm not doing good.

Do you need to go to the hospital?

What happened?

Ow.

What was that?

You okay?

Walk it off.

Not let Tiffany know I got this wasted.

My body can't take this anymore. My
liver hates me.

Yeah, I passed out, dude.

What happened? Just tell me what
happened. Recap it.

How the f*** did we get back up here?

I don't remember.

I woke up with my pants were down and I
had no underwear on. Dude, there was no

stopping you. Oh my God, I'm so glad you
did not see that.

Tom, what's up, dude?

I don't know.

Guys Weekend was a great idea.

Yeah.

You okay?

Annoyed, dude.

With what?

Last night in general.

What happened?

Dude, you know what the f*** happened?

I know if I brought girls back here,
you'd be sure and tell everyone about

I didn't bring them back. You did bring
girls back here, Jack.

Dude,

what are you talking about?

Jack has an amazing girlfriend right
now. She hooks us up with this beautiful

suite, and Jack hooks up with the most
bootleg chick in the fucking club.

It's so extremely disrespectful.

I was just really drunk. I literally
don't remember.

All right, let's pack.

I would call it assisted masturbation.
The girl literally meant nothing.

Brought her into the bathroom, the shit
out of her, and then, like, they left.

Dude, I know one thing.

When Tiffany asked me about last night,
I'm not going to lie.

Oh, careful.

Don't step.

Hi.

You're painting.

I'm so glad you've come over.

I'm sweating. I'm sorry.

My air conditioning isn't working.

It's so hot in here. I know, and it's
like the worst. Like, I just moved into

new apartment, and my air conditioning
breaks. It's so annoying. This looks

amazing. Do you like it? Okay, because I
had originally done this color, and

then I wanted to do it darker to match
that blanket that's behind you on the

couch, and now I think it's too dark.

No, I think you've just been looking at
the light blue for too long. I like the

dark light blue.

Thanks, honey. You look amazing.

Thanks, honey bunny.

Do you have anything to drink? What are
you drinking?

I got stuff to make us bellinis.

I want one.

Good. You can follow me.

I just really love Christina.

We're both positive people, regardless
of whether we're feeling depressed.

And we're also both very loyal.

So what's going on?

It's the same old.

Well, cheers. I love you. Cheers.

These are good.

I feel like they're better than they are
at Sir. Well, yeah.

I'm making them.

I miss you at Sir.

I bet you do. Like, who do you talk to?

Katie. And then Katie sometimes at work
goes like, me awkwardly, Sheena.

I'm sorry.

I feel kind of bad for my friends who
are still at Sir. I feel like my life

changed so much. And I just want to
shake them and be like, there's a way

Come with me.

Who wouldn't want to follow me?

I remember what that's like to work at
Sir and not have anyone that you're

friends with work on that same night,
and it was the worst.

And all Sheena talks about is her
wedding, so it's just like... And, like,

fact that, like, Tom got Sheena's
wedding invitation and replied yes.

What, is Schwartz going to go without
her?

That is, like, grounds for breaking up
with my boyfriend.

Schwartz is, like, half weasel, half
vagina.

Anyone who chooses that, I have nothing
in common with.

It was really kind of nice to hear her
say that because it is.

Kind of messed up. Well, you were both
being stubborn. I'm so happy Katie's

coming to Miami because it makes my life
so much easier. I don't have to have

that chip on my shoulder of knowing when
I return to L .A., she's going to be

waiting for me to piss off.

Oh, I just thought of something.

What? Did you tell Stassi that you're
gone?

No.

You betrayed the queen. I'm not
betraying her.

I think Stassi can understand that.

I am in a very different position than
she is. Yeah. A lot of these people are

still in my life. She has to respect
that.

T -Sandy's coming over, so.

Did you all behave?

Was everyone a good boy?

We were good. I mean, Tom thinks that
Jax did something, but I don't know.

You'll have to defer to him.

I'm disappointed that Schwartz isn't
telling me everything because he's not

supposed to have bro code. He's supposed
to have Katie code.

Come in.

Look at this spread I made for you.

Yeah, it's for you. Really? Yeah, big
guy. How you feeling?

I'm all right. You a little rickety?
Yeah.

What's up, Gordo?

I have to go to Sheena's bridal shower.

I heard. Yeah. I heard. Ariana told me.
I mean, it had to happen, and it's just,

you know, it just was becoming more of
an inconvenience having to avoid and all

that and putting him in the middle.

Yeah, it makes things way easier.

You were the bigger person.

Well, um...

Schwartz told me that you know about Jax
or something.

Yeah.

He f***ed the s*** out of this chick in
the bathroom.

And she was not hot at all.

I'm done covering for Jax.

You know?

I'm over it.

This is in your hotel room.

Yeah. The room or suite, whatever, is
that Tiffy hooked up for Jax and his

buddies, and he brings a girl back.

to that room and bangs her in the
bathroom?

Yeah. I don't know. Wait. Don't put it
on me and act clueless.

You're the one who brought it up
yesterday. Fine, I did bring it up.

didn't want to. But, dude, you were
being naive.

Dude, this guy's afraid of Jack.

Honestly, noises I heard painted quite
the soundscape in my mind.

But I'm not going to lie, I don't want
to get involved because, A, it's not

really in my nature, and, B, Jax
probably has a little s*** on me too.

If me or you would have even put our
f***ing arm around the girl, you'd be

yelling it. You'd be on the top of a
mountain.

He would stand on top of the bar at
third and shout it. He's done a hundred

times worse things than me, Schwartz,
and Peter put together.

And we constantly have his back, and he
always f***ing throws us under the bus.

It's ridiculous.

It really angered me because it's like
Jax just does whatever the f*** he

Maybe I just tell him he needs to tell
Tiffany.

Yeah, right, dude.

I'd like to see his response to that.

Sometimes people need to learn the hard
way.

Yeah.

Gorgeous. Hello.

Hi.

Oh, this looks lovely.

Oh, so hold on a second. You're here?

I'm here.

So things must be better between you
guys now?

I'm glad to see that Sheena's taken my
advice and invited Katie for the shower.

I think this is good and it's moving in
the right direction.

For how long, we don't know. I'm going
to go to the bachelorette party.

Good. That's what I want to hear.

Yeah. You're going to keep it that way?

Yeah. Don't let me down, because it was
me that taught her, you know, about

this, okay? You promise me? Of course,
yeah.

Promise? I promise.

Yes! Yay! Hi!

You're dressed.

You look like a puppy.

Thank you. Cheers.

You look like a puppy.

Cheers. Thanks for coming. Hi.

I did the right thing being here. Life
is a lot better when you can just let go

and get over things.

Are you still talking to Stassi? Are you
going to?

I haven't.

I wanted to see if maybe like she wanted
to meet up and talk about whatever

these issues have been because I feel
like it's part Kristen, part not.

I still don't quite understand the
issues.

Neither do I.

The only reason and Stassi's mad at her
is because Sheena wants everyone to get

along, and that's not really a bad
thing.

I'm just going to text her and see if
she wants to hang out tomorrow, and then

I'm going to invite her to Miami.

And I'm sure you would love to have her
there.

I mean, I would like it if you guys
could squash it. I'm not desperate to be

friends with Stassi, but this grudge
she's holding against me is ridiculous.

This is my problem. You have played
victim hole. Like, I did something to

I asked you to be a part of my wedding.

I'm trying one last time. And if it
doesn't work, it. But at least I tried.

think it'll be fun. You know, Kristen's
coming. It's going to be great.

Kristen's coming? Yeah. How is this
going to work? I have no idea.

This is a little bit unrelated, but San
Diego?

Yeah, how was that? Frat style drinking
debauchery.

Wait, we went to San Diego?

Tom, Tom, Jax, and Peter.

That's a lethal combination.

No girls except for the girl, at least
that I know about, that Jax brought into

the hotel room and to the bathroom.
Wait, what?

How could he do that and not feel just
completely disgusting?

What I'm realizing is Jax is the worst.

I'm just really happy my husband's,
like, alone watching a football game at

right now.

Here's to being old and married.

Yeah.

It's like a little maze to get in here.
Like, step one, two.

Why is Katie even here? She hates
Sheena, and, like, suddenly she's over

ecstatic to come to Miami.

What I can't stand for is for her to
leave here, go have lunch with Stassi

somewhere, and say, like, oh, yeah, I
went to Sheena's bridal party. It was

a joke. Or something, like, really
classic like that. Sheena inviting Katie

Miami is a joke.

It's one more person in Miami that I
don't get along with.

I would rather stalk you either than
Ariana.

Can't wait for Miami.

You two chatting about it. I heard my
name.

Wait, I have to tell you something. So I
was sitting over there with them.

Yeah, I noticed. So they told me that
Jack brought a girl back to their

room in San Diego this weekend and
totally banged her and then was like,

say anything or something along those
lines.

Probably the night he texted me was
like, I'm so sorry.

Jack. banged Kristen.

Jax used to bang Carmen. And now I'm
telling Kristen and Carmen about the new

girl Jax banged while he cheated on the
girl that he's currently banging.

There's a ton of banging going on.

But the most part about the whole thing
is Tiffany's the one that set up San

Diego for them.

Who threw him under the bus?

Either Schwartz or Tom or both.

Do they realize what that's going to do
to the two of them?

If Sandoval were the one to throw Jax
under the bus, do you not think Jax will

now throw Sandoval's fate?

I could give a fuss if Jax banged the
girl in San Diego.

But it might be good for me if this is
true, because Jax is going to get backed

into a corner.

He's then going to throw it in Tom's
face that he knows Tom banged the girl

Miami, and the truth will be revealed.

Is she coming to Miami?

Who? Tiffany.

I mean, I don't know. I don't know if
she knows about San Diego. I have no

Coming up. I would like to know what you
feel I've done to you. It has baffled

me.

Ah, it's cold!

Are you this dramatic every time you get
a spray tan?

Whatever.

You'll be thanking me later.

Yeah. Tom and I both want to get our pre
-tans on for Miami, but they only have

one slot available, so I know when to
step aside.

It was cool, though.

If I were to try and grab this one
tanning slot, that would be like

getting between a hungry bear and its
food.

There's no way you're this obnoxious
every time you get a spray tan.

Make sure you get, like, down in there,
too.

The man I loved.

Isn't there like a group of people who
have oil fetishes?

Too bad I'm not one of them.

I think you need some more contouring
because you're pretty fat.

Have you been working out?

I mean, kind of. Did you like stop
working out?

What?

Hey, dude.

This place should pretty much do the
trick on a full recovery.

It's all a blur, man. How was Katie with
the whole situation and everything?

It was cool. I just told her we partied
too hard.

We had some girls up in the room.

Did you know that Katie's coming to the
bachelor at partying now? Oh, did you?

Yeah, we knew that. I know you did, but
I don't know. I honestly don't remember

a lot from the weekend, but how is
Stassi going to handle that?

Dude, I don't think she's going to
respond well.

I can only imagine the thoughts going
through Stassi's head.

Traitor, how could you do this to me?

Because, you know, Katie's kind of like
Stassi's little minion.

In Miami, we can't really go that hard.
We can't get that drunk and have, I

mean, we were, like having girls up in
the room is like being that drunk is a

recipe for trouble, man.

You didn't, dude, you didn't hook up
with that little girl, did you?

No, but I know it puts you guys in a bad
situation. At the club, she went down

and grabbed my...

I go,

what are you doing? She's like, I'm just
grabbing it. You see how big it is? I'm

like, what are you doing?

It's kind of funny because the morning
after, Jack said he didn't remember

anything. I was just really drunk. I
literally don't remember.

Now, all of a sudden, he remembers very
clearly what happened.

Dude, yeah, I wanted to use the
bathroom.

The thing is, I had to go in there.
She's yakking her brains out. And then

that, she goes like this. She goes, come
here.

She must have been pretty excited when
she was throwing up because she kept

saying, yeah, baby, yeah, baby.

Came out of there, like, sweating.

I was sweating because I know the
situation would look really bad.

Like, dude, I didn't hear that girl
puking at all, like, when I went up to

bathroom and tried it. She was puking
her brains out.

Why would you go into the bathroom with
her if she's puking? Because she needed

help. I'm like, here's the bathroom. Let
me help you out. She had her hair, so I

was, like, holding her to let her puke.
Her friends were with her.

I felt so bad that I called Tiffany and
I told her. I thought this girl was

grabbing and kissing on me.

I helped her throw up. She kind of
grabbed me. I kicked her out of the

You bet she tried to come up to your
room.

Yeah, she came up to my room. I told
her. She came up to our room. Then she

started getting aggressive again. She
went to the bathroom.

I was like, well, why was that girl
grabbing you? And then, like, I don't

she was drunk. I was drunk.

It was all harmless. It wasn't like
anything.

But, like, you know, she's in Vegas. The
guys do it to her, too.

This is Pax's last desperate play. You
don't have to tell Tiffany anything. I

told her everything.

He is completely full of shit.

I don't even know. Are you guys, like,
fully committed, or do you guys have,

like, an open mind?

So Tiffany was okay?

Yeah, I mean, she didn't, she just asked
me, like, well, that was kind of weird,

and that's okay. I was like, okay, I
guess. I mean, she knows. I mean...

know Ariana would be pissed if I was in
a bathroom with a girl.

So for the record, you're saying that
you did not see that girl in the

No, no.

Because if you did, that's really dumb.

I would never. I would never do that.
Not for Tiffany. I would never do that

her.

Jack is just oozing contradictions right
now. I mean, for a guy that's been

telling lies his entire life, he's
pretty shitty at it.

It just puts me in a weird position, you
know?

Why? I don't know, man, because we're
going to be in, like, Miami and shit.

does Miami have to do with anything?

I'm just saying, like, if... Tiffany's
going to be there.

Dude, she asked me about shit. I'm not
going to lie.

You weren't even there.

That's why I don't... I was there. No,
you weren't. You weren't in the room. I

mean, you went through the same thing.
What do you mean I went through the same

thing? Don't even... People just
throwing stuff out there that didn't

doesn't look right.

Nothing happened, but it doesn't look
right. And you're like, damn, I'm caught

in a situation that just doesn't look
right.

Things sometimes don't look right, but
you're like, you don't have a choice.

Because you're caught in a situation
like, I don't want to be in this

but yet it looks something that's not
really going on.

Okay.

Well, I'm done talking about this now.

You guys want to roll? Yeah.

Get out of here.

You throw this away or what?

All right. See you guys later.

See you, man.

What do you think?

You and I both know he missed out on
that check.

Ravaged it.

Liar.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

Just got done having lunch with the
guys.

Yeah. Just a good taco place to go to
when you're, like, struggling from a

weekend that we had in San Diego.

What do you mean? Tell me what happened.

It was probably just a little bit too
much drinking and, like, bottle service.

You know, I put myself in situations
that I wasn't really comfortable in and

shouldn't, that looked bad.

The table with the girls and stuff,
like, people getting too close and I

really comfortable with it. You know, I
told you we had some people back up in

the room.

No, you didn't really tell me that.

There was one group of people. There was
a girl.

Like three girls. That was the girl that
was like grabbing onto me and I was

like, oh my God, like get away, get
away. But then she somehow ended up in

room. Then she threw up in the bathroom
and I took her into the bathroom to

throw up and I shut the door.

And it was, then I was like, I was like,
okay. And then she started grabbing

onto me again. I'm like, get off me, get
off me. And then I pushed her out and I

said, okay, you guys have to go. It's
just not, it's just not like something I

want to do ever again.

Are you serious?

Why?

Thanks for meeting me. You're welcome.

So how have you been?

I'm good.

I'm good.

How are you? Good.

Budding, planning, exciting.

Sheena looks like a cross between a
gypsy and one of those American Girl

Hey, how are you? Hi, good, thank you.
Would you like some drinks this far? You

know what, I actually want to start with
the Moscow Mule. That sounds good. I'm

just going to have water right now. Some
water?

No wine? No.

Like, I don't even know you anymore.

No, I just, I don't understand why I'm
here.

You don't like me. You already can't win
arguments with me, Sheena, but, like,

you're wearing that, so you just lost
already.

I mean, I would like to know what you
feel I've done to you.

I really, it has baffled me. I asked you
to be a part of my wedding, the most

important day of my entire life. You say
yes, and then I hear you're like...

Making fun of it. You don't want to be a
part of it. You never gave me a formal

question. It was, well, I guess you'll
just be my other blonde bridesmaid.

That wasn't really a question. I also
heard that you said at my engagement

that you were going to have, like, all
the girls show up with, like, big fake

diamond rings to, like, try and, like,
outshine. Okay, did we do that? No.

So you never said that?

Katie said that, actually.

Does it bother you that she's coming to
my bachelorette party?

Coming up.

You think I want to hang out with you?

Your friendship is a joke to me.

You were going to have, like, all the
girls show up with, like, big fake

rings. Okay, did we do that? No. We
never said that. Katie said that,

Does it bother you that she's coming to
my bachelorette party?

I didn't realize she was. She actually
seems really excited about it.

Katie's supposed to be my best friend.

Sheena invites her on a beach vacation
with Jax and Kristen, and she thinks,

yeah, it's a betrayal. And any betrayal,
once I feel betrayed, it's done.

Sounds like she drank the Kool -Aid. I
wasn't aware of that. Kool -Aid?

Yes.

Well, up until five minutes ago, I was
going to see if you wanted to come since

you've never been to Miami, but I don't
think that would really work out. Do you

think I want to hang out with Kool -Aid?
Kristen, Jack, you, you know what my

big problem with you is. Why would I go
to something celebrating you?

Immediately after last summer, you go
and befriend the two people that hurt me

the most. It wasn't immediately. It was
three months later. Well, you did. And

you became BFFs with two people that I
think are terrible, terrible people. I'm

very sorry that they both hurt you, but
I can't just throw people aside who have

been good friends to me. She hated you.
You hated her. Your friendship is a joke

to me.

Even after you befriended Kristen and
Jack, you did nothing but publicly,

Twitter bully me. I've never been a bad
person. Well, then enough of the public

bullying. I don't know why someone would
want to be a spoiled, bratty, snobby

bully like Stassi. It's passive
-aggressive bullshit.

Like, I don't do that to you. I moved
across the country. Because you don't

a reason to, Stassi. I don't have a
reason to be mean to me on Twitter.

I have a life.

So I retweeted some things that hurt
your feelings. I hung out with your ex

-boyfriend and I'm friends with Kristen.
I just want to sum it all up to make

sure I am getting it all. Well, if your
brain works so simply like that, I'm

just making sure you got all your points
across. So is that it or is there

something else that you left out?
Whatever. This is like a waste of time.

Apparently it is. I had to look at
myself in the morning and I would never

forgive myself. I wouldn't be able to
look at my children after going and

hanging out with Kristen and Jack and
now...

You? I guess I just choose my friends
wisely.

That's why you don't have that many.

Dossie's friends are finally starting to
see that she thinks she's so much

better than all of them, and they're
dwindling away. I mean, she's just

friends by the day. She keeps it up.
She'll be by herself.

Anyway, I appreciate you reaching out. I
apologize for anything I've done that's

hurt you. I know your wedding will be
incredible, but I just can't be a part

any of that.

Like, I've moved on. I feel like my
island in Los Angeles is rapidly

but I'm happy about it because I only
want to surround myself with people that

value the same things that I do.

We're not meant to be friends. Totally
agree.

You know, I get it.

Okay, enjoy the rest of your drink.

So long, Sheena.

So long, Sheena's eyelashes.

So long, Sheena's turban.

So long, Sheena's unitards.

Next time on Vanderpump Rules. I'm stuck
here working when I could be on a beach

drinking margaritas.

Bye. Woo.

Bye. Woo.

What's up with you and Bill, man? You're
hard not to love.

These sound like the preliminary stages
of getting Jax.

Jax. Stassi. You know what?

Sam, no offense, Katie, I know she's
your best friend, but... They're

not talking. They're not talking.
They're not talking. The judge did

is that he did.

You definitely railed the shit out of
that girl in the bathroom. If you're

sit here and grill me, I'll go to every
single one of you and I'll pick the shit

out of all of you. You already have.

We don't talk about what happened in
Miami.

Stop ratting us out.

To see more of Vanderpump Rules, go to
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