All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S3E06

Previously on Vanderpump Rules.

Your buddy Tom Schwartz had a panic
attack, walk out in the middle of the

I thought this would just be the little
boost that we needed to actually kind of

take that next step in our relationship.
So did I.

I had a full -blown real panic attack.

My boyfriend couldn't handle his
bartending job, but he's going to make a

father. I haven't seen Kristen since she
betrayed me by banging Jack.

And what does she do right when she sees
me?

Ask me about Jack.

Like, for real?

I didn't get so much as a text from
Katie. Not even a text. Who is she

Jack? Like, honestly.

Can we talk about what she's lying about
right now?

Katie, she's, like, full -on dick level.

She has one of two choices. She can come
clean now or she can have the worst

summer of her fucking life.

I'm sick of getting all the shit for the
mistakes I've made when everyone else

is doing just as badly.

I was with my friends and we were
talking to him and he wanted to do a

shoot with the two of us.

Motorboating his dick is not a photo
shoot.

Oh, my God.

100 % true. You want to start this with
him here? We all thought.

It's actually for an audition tomorrow.

It's supposed to have, like, you know,
funky hair with, like, pizzazz. It says

pizzazz? In the breakdown.

Hi. This is not what it looks like. What
is going on?

Do you guys do this all the time? Yeah.

Katie and Schwartz are a different kind
of couple.

They have their problems, but they,
like, work well together.

You're not going to believe it. What?

The bar manager, her pump called me
today out of the blue, and he's like,

bartending Sunday with us because
they're going to be slammed.

And I was a little flattered, actually,
that they even considered asking me

back, not to work there or to be a
permanent employee, but just to help

because I'm good.

I am good.

You're going to show your face with all
the people who saw you having an anxiety

attack? Oh, my God, I know.

I'm a little nervous because there's
going to be a bucket of pig blood up in

olive trees that falls down upon me when
I walk in or something.

After you left Solar, I was joined by
the brat pack here.

Kitty had to bring up the allegations
about the whole... Oh, yeah, well, she

has. You got too emotional.

Well, yeah, because Jack didn't cross me
being a dick. You were being a... You

guys were both being dicks to each
other. But he's spreading a rumor that

cheating on you. No shit, she's gonna be
a dick. Are we, like, hello? No, I

know, but... Really?

He was being an asshole about that. This
person is the worst person that ever

existed.

No, he's not all that bad.

He's got a little heart in there, a
little rusty black heart.

I actually feel, like, truly offended
when Schwartz is defending Jack. He's

a bully, and he doesn't like Katie, and
so he just wants to ruin people's lives.

That's all he ever does.

I remember, like, years ago, like, when
we all became friends, we had so much

fun together.

It's just not that way anymore, and,
like, we've all grown. Well, maybe not

Kristen.

Katie is so, like, out of whack with
reality about her relationship with

Schwartz. Well, obviously.

Like, they're going to get married
tomorrow, and they're so picture

yet Katie motorboated some guy's dick in
general public.

It's just, it's annoying.

And when we were at work the other
night, when I was, like, leaving, Katie

on break, and she was really weird and
kind of gave me the cold shoulder, and

I was just like, yo, like, let's just,
like, have a five -second conversation.

It didn't go well.

I am in such a good place.

If you're cheating on your fucking
boyfriend. I'm not cheating on you. This

why I can't be friends with you guys.

I think what's irritating me the most is
what a great friendship it was.

I mean, she was literally like my other
half. She was my sister.

The demise of my friendship with Katie
is so fucked me.

because Katie is the one person in my
life who taught me not to hold grudges,

let it be the tattoo on her wrist that
we got together.

Oh my God.

So it kind of blows my mind that Katie's
holding the hardest grudge with me of

anyone. I feel like if it weren't for
Stassi, Katie and I would definitely be

a much better place. No, but she'll
never be cool with you because Stassi

allow it. And Katie does whatever Stassi
says.

I just want everyone to get along.

Fake it, even if you have to, you know?
I agree.

I would personally just like to have a
very simple, hopefully calm, an adult

conversation with Aussie. It's kind of
say, like, you don't have to like me. We

don't have to be friends. We're never
going to be friends, but can we just be

chill? She's a bitch, dude, so just be
careful.

Keep your distance. I mean, the last
time you guys really had a conversation,

like, ended up on the floor.

You are dirty anymore.

You.

You are disgusting.

I'm just going to text her really fast.
I don't even know what to say. Like,

let's meet up or something.

Oh, my.

What? Oh, my God.

Dodie. Kristen Dodie.

Hey, wanted to talk to you if you're
free to meet up this week.

I have not received something from her
in a year.

I'm hoping that Kristen wants to give me
a genuine apology.

A little something?

A poem? A haiku, perhaps?

Sandoval, I think, told them that
Kristen's trying to plot to take us down

something. Hasn't she done enough?

I just am wondering, is it actually
going to give you some kind of

to see us split up? Split up? If that's
the truth, that's really sad.

Okay, so I'm just saying, yeah, no
problem. Yeah.

Honestly, like, I wouldn't let her say
whatever she has to say. I'm just going

to be like, yeah, glad you got that off
your chest. I was like, but if you dare

try and do anything to Katie and
Schwartz again, I will take you down.

I'll scare the shit out of her.

Okay, so let's go through everything,
right?

How many people?

We have about 350.

350?

Well,

our capacity is only like 400.

Frontiers magazine has organized this
party to invite all the gay mayors from

around the world. It's quite an
extraordinary event, really.

Who would have thought 10 years ago
you'd never have had 50 gay mayors,

you? No. This party is an opportunity
for all the gay mayors.

To come together.

Not literally.

I mean, hopefully not in my restaurant.

So, I'm going to put two satellite bars
in.

Okay. That are only going to serve...
Oh, God.

Okay. Hi. What up?

I'm going to talk to these guys. I'm
going to catch up with you later. Okay,

I'll catch up with you. So, listen, I
have a 50 -gay mayor's event coming up.

But I'm stretched to our limit. I need
all the help I can get. I need you guys

to pass drinks.

What's wrong with tray passing?

Look, you don't know as a bartender that
is like... It's demoralizing. It's

really demoralizing for me. Oh, for
goodness sake. I don't want to be tray

passing, Lisa.

Bartending is at the top of the tier.

Tray passing is the bottom of the
barrel.

It's mindless work.

You basically have to sit there with a
tray and not move.

So basically you're at the table.

I'll do it if Jax does it.

Okay, yeah, I need Jack, too.

All right, I'll do it if Jack says
that's the deal. They're going to blame

on me.

You, we talked about.

I understand you can't be behind the
bar, but you've had all this experience.

It would be my pleasure.

It's simple.

I'm all over that. You can do it. You
missed me. A monkey could do it. You

missed me a little bit. I don't miss you
at all. I'm furious with you, but I

need you, unfortunately.

Okay? What's wrong? It's 50 gay mayors.
Don't you want to meet 50 gay mayors?

I've met 50 gay men many times.

Gay mayors.

Gay male, yeah. Mayors. Oh, mayors.
Mayors. Yes, that. Okay?

Hello.

He's waiting for me. How's it going?

How's it going?

I started with a bottle of Sauvignon
Blanc.

Thank you.

Break the ice a little bit.

Always.

Welcome back to L .A.

This girl tried to ruin my life. She
slept with my ex, lied to my face

times. I never banged Jack.

I can't believe you're entertaining this
idea right now. I'm kind of pissed at

you that you would ever think that I
would do that.

Until she finally admitted it.

I lied to you. I lied to him. I lied to
everyone. It's not even about lying.

to my boyfriend and cheated on your
boyfriend.

And now she's trying to ruin my friend's
life?

No. I'm not asking for forgiveness.

Obviously, you know, I'm sorry about
what happened. Well, no, I appreciate

I just hope you know that was like a
malicious, the intentions were not to be

cruel to him.

Right. Um, I think Kristen might have
just apologized.

I don't know. It was kind of like tucked
in there.

I wanted to take that to my grave.

The truth always does come out, you
know? I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that. I really do.

But something that I do have to say,
like, and this is kind of, I guess, on

Katie's behalf, everyone is talking
about how you're just trying to take

and Schwartz down.

I'm definitely not, but I'm...

The information's been brought to you.
Obviously, you know what the rumors are.

I know about one.

The one about Katie or about Schwartz?

I don't know about anything about
Schwartz.

I know that Schwartz cheated on me.

Coming up... The main sources from the
start are Jackson Sheen. Jackson's a

liar, and Jackson just hates Katie.

But I got angry. I was like...

God, I hate this. Okay, what's really
going on?

I know the tortilla.

With two different people, for sure.

I can't believe I'm not going out of my
way to ruin anyone's life.

It's just like I've been literally
exiled and like quarantined for doing

did. And every single person in that
group.

is doing the exact same thing.

Cheating is cheating.

Cheating is wrong. And they're no better
than I was last summer. But I'm the

only one getting punished for it.

It's just, stop.

Like, if you don't like me... Was he,
like, hearing rumors about you wanting

take her down?

I definitely never said I want to take
Katie and Tom down. If they want to stay

in a relationship where they're being
unfaithful...

That's the life I used to have. I don't
wish that for anybody because that's

what they choose for themselves and
that's what's done.

You don't know these things for a fact
because you haven't witnessed anything.

Kristen lied to my face.

Kristen cheated on Tom with Jack.

Kristen is f***ing evil.

This is different.

Again, this is all information that
comes to me. But then you go and follow

up and then you... Oh, I followed up the
Tom and Ariana thing. I absolutely did.

I absolutely did. The Katie and Schwartz
thing, like, I don't talk to anyone.

Wait, what? I don't know who what. So
Jax is, like, dating some girl, Tiffany

something. Okay. And she said Schwartz
slept with her best friend in Vegas.

Jax is a liar, and Jax just hates Katie.

And Sheena also said Schwartz made out
with one of her friends.

These people are pieces of shit. If they
cared about Katie at all, they would

have gone to her. They wouldn't have
talked about it and told everybody else.

wouldn't be like that.

It has nothing to do with me.

But I can tell you for a fact, the main
sources from the start are Jackson

Chiefs.

Good to have you back. Yeah, good to be
back.

Good. Do you like my new nose?

Yeah. Straight?

Happy? Good. But anyway.

How have you been?

Lots going down since last time I talked
to you.

I didn't consider myself like a guy's
guy. I don't get emotional.

I don't cry at all.

This week, I turned the TV on. It was
this movie on. I don't know what made me

wake up. What movie was it? The Green
Mile.

The actor who played this Michael Duncan
guy, this huge, huge, muscular, big

black guy, just enormous.

He could have destroyed everybody. He
was just like the Incredible Hulk. He

looked like this guy.

But yet he was just like this puppy dog,
and he was just – he was always so

upset, and he was always crying, and he
was trying to heal everybody. I was just

like – I took myself from that because
I'm always this guy who's like – So you

related to that. I related to it. You
related to this character. Just because

feel like he's like this angel,
whatever, from God. He just helped this

woman.

I just lost it. I completely shut down
and just started crying my eyes out. But

I'm like a 35 -year -old guy. Like, I'm
a guy. I don't cry.

My opinion is you're more of a man when
you can allow yourself to go to those

deeper places that aren't as easy to do.

I do have a heart, and I don't know what
it is lately, but I just recently like

getting in touch with my emotions, and
I've been having just really good cries

lately, and I can't really explain it.

The one thing that you and I have always
worked on is like how you react to

people when you get into that angry
place where you just shut down.

So I'm just curious if you've been able
to watch that at all. Well, things are

coming up with Tom Schwartz. His
girlfriend cheated on him.

And I thought, and as a friend.

I'm obligated to give him this
information. He told him. So I told him.

were kissing each other up on their
neck, and then she got up on stage, and

put her mouth, like, in the crotch
region. It was going like this.

She came and sat down and had lunch with
us. I go, I'm not going to say

anything. She fired at me right away,
though. Like, I got heated right off the

bat. You're a cheater. You're a cheater.
I'm not a cheater. You are the cheater.

You're a cheater. You're a cheater. We
all saw you kiss that guy.

We all saw it.

You did not mean to do it. For a second.
I got upset, but I got angry upset. It

wasn't upset because I feel bad.

I was like, God, I hate this and this.
Nick made me up. That's what you have to

watch. I love hanging out with Tom
Schwartz. He's my brother, my best

And just from my past experience with
Tom Sandoval and Kristen, I just feel

Tom Schwartz and Katie are headed down
the Kristen -Tom road.

I know, babe. I've been tired of arguing
all the time, man.

This is what I want from you. I'm tired
of it.

If I were to jump in before it gets to
be any worse, you know, I might be doing

him a favor.

So you're going to get angry again. Let
yourself come back to, okay, what's

really going on and kind of question
that or look at, hmm, what is that? The

important thing for me right now is slow
down, pump the brakes a little bit.

Absolutely.

So I met with Kristen.

And how was it? She doesn't treat me the
way that she treats you. She's not,

like, really, like, sad that we're not
friends anymore.

She was very, like, matter of fact.

Like, she knows that I will never be her
friend, so she's not really going to

try. It was just so weird.

Why I'm here is you and Schwartz came up
in conversation, and it really freaked

me out.

Kristen is saying that Jax told her that
Schwartz cheated, that Sheena told her

that Schwartz cheated, and she said that
Sheena is saying that Schwartz made out

with someone.

And then she said, this was the one
that, like, freaked me out the most.

Jax is saying that Schwartz had sex
with...

with Jackson's girlfriend's best friend
in Vegas.

He has sex with her?

Tom wouldn't do that.

Oh, my God. This is bullshit. I know
it's bullshit.

I don't think he would do that either,
Katie.

Oh, God. He's just like, I know that
this is true, da -da -da -da. I'm like,

don't actually.

Who are the people that told you?
Jackson, Sheena.

Two losers.

Tom and I have been together for... Four
years. And I know everything about Tom.

I don't think he has a cheater bone in
his body.

I mean, it's just, it's just like
ridiculous.

We know the truth. We don't lie to each
other.

We don't cheat on each other. I really
do feel bad for you. Like, my heart

for you. Like, I know how this feels.
Like, it makes me really sad.

If you would have asked me one or two
years ago if these rumors were true, I

would have said absolutely not.

I don't think of Schwartz as... A
cheater. But I feel like if you're going

surround yourself with shitty people,
you're going to end up doing shitty

things. Do you think that you would be
okay with Schwartz still being friends

with them after this? If your friends
are making up rumors about you.

life -ruining rumors.

I'm going to have to go to Jax and
Sheena and find out what they've been

Yeah.

Those people are not good people.

Coming up.

Jack said to her that you slept with one
of Tiffy's best friends when you were

in Vegas.

I'm just going to come clean.

Tonight we have a pan -roasted Chilean
sea bass.

No, I just need that and the chicken
enchilada.

Aha, Mr. Taylor.

Hey. Just what I wanted to see.

What's up? I need you to work at Pump.

Really? No, hold on a second. Don't be
whining. Why are they asking you?

it's just a lot of pressure. I have a
good thing. Oh, I have a well -oiled

machine here. I've heard about your well
-oiled machine. Okay, just show up

tomorrow, please. Help me out. All
right. Do not whine. Change your

Okay. Okay.

Oh, my God.

Okay. Hey, guys.

All right. Hey.

Hi. Hi. What's up?

I'm going to go run these things. You
okay?

Saucy just came to my house. She met
with Kristen today.

And according to Kristen, Sheena told
her that my boyfriend made out with one

her friends. Wait, now Tom cheated on
you. Jack told her my boyfriend slept

his girlfriend's best friend.

No.

Either Kristen's lying.

and putting words in these people's
mouth or they're lying to her.

Yeah, that sucks. That's awful.

These people are out to get me.

I've been working out, man.

It's like one thing after another.

You know, we could get money, but we
definitely earn our money. That's for

What's up? Kathy came to me today and
said, Kristen, why are you trying to

Tom and Katie down? Yeah. Because you
stir the pot and put a sheen in it. I

didn't stir the pot.

Don't lie if you don't have anything to
lie about.

Everyone's saying that I'm the one. Then
just say you have nothing to do with it

and walk away.

Of course.

I will own it all.

Listen, was Tom in Vegas having fun with
a bunch of girls and so were we all?

Yeah, 100%. What else do you want to
know? I'll keep admitting.

You can literally see the wheels turning
in Jack's small brain.

Did Tom...

I'm watching him make this lie up right
in front of me.

I didn't see that.

But you know that it happened.

But listen, but listen, but listen.

No, listen.

I physically didn't see it happen, so I
can't say it.

I didn't see it with my eyes.

This is insane.

I would love nothing more. Trust me.
Hey, listen. I would love nothing more

for Tom to rail a girl right in front of
her.

If he would give me that, I'd be like,
praise the Lord.

Own it. That's all. You know?

All right, ladies. Here you are. Thank
you so much. Come back

soon. You're welcome.

Hey, Jack.

Yeah. I need to talk to you. Can you
meet me out here?

I'll take you over here.

Outside. Kill me right now. Kill me now.
Kill me.

Yeah, really bad.

I'll be right back.

Watch the bar for me.

Yes? Jax, I just want to know what it
is.

What? What is it about me that you hate
so much?

I don't hate anything about you.

Apparently, you were spreading rumors
about me.

Spreading rumors and talking about you?
And spreading rumors about Tom.

I'm going to spread rumors about my best
friend. Yes.

Okay. Christmas Day.

That you told her that Tom slept with
your girlfriend's best friend in Vegas.

Um, I never said that.

So, if you were telling the truth, then
who's lying?

I don't know. Why don't you handle it
with Kristen or something? Like,

who actually enjoys meddling. I know
what her agenda is. Okay, she has an

agenda. She's so upset that you were
friends with Toffee. She will do

She's like this right now. She'll do
whatever it takes. So, she is lying.

Maybe. I don't know.

Have you seen Katie around? Where is
she? I have no idea.

Have you seen Katie?

You're saying that you didn't tell
Kristen that whatever.

So, what I want to know is, did Chom
cheat on me in Vegas?

No, he did not cheat on you in Vegas.

Okay, thank you.

That's all I need to know.

Okay, you got it. I'll have her grab
that for you.

Peter, I need to go home.

Can I talk out? I'm almost done.

Yeah, that's fine. I'll transfer your
tape. Thank you.

Okay.

Christina.

Hello.

Hi.

No one's telling me the truth.

So what exactly happened? Like, what is
your side of the story?

Jackson and Sheena are the two sources
of information that have claimed to have

seen this with their own eyes.

And that's it.

I just feel like everybody's a liar at
this point. So stop saying I'm trying to

bring you down or break your
relationship or whatever. Bring you two

believes that you are also out to bring
us down, too.

He literally just said at the bar, if he
could do anything, if he could watch

towards the girl in front of you, that
would, like, make a day.

That's what he just said.

Kristen's solution is Jackson's evil.

So now there's just absolutely no doubt
that one of them is lying to my face.

So, Sheena, I'm happy you are here
because you were just saying it's you

Jack that are apparently spreading
rumors that she's cheating and that now

Schwartz is cheating. I said what I saw
that one night.

Motorboated his dick. I wasn't
motorboating. I was like, okay, if I

validate you guys, I went to take my
shoes off. I saw you guys going like

and dancing on him. You were like up on
his neck. Like, I saw that. I don't know

why you guys care.

Don't you have like a wedding to plan?

Yeah, I'm doing it. It's going great.
But Katie, why the fuck did you care

I did?

Kristen didn't just cheat.

She cheated with her boyfriend's best
friend, who also happens to be her best

friend's boyfriend, and lied to us all
in the process.

Kristen wants to believe that everyone's
that bad, but the truth is no one will

ever be as bad as her.

You have said that Ford kissed a friend
of yours?

It was like, what, a year and a half,
two years ago.

Why are you talking about my boyfriend
making out with someone two years ago?

Because at the time that I heard it, it
was probably a year ago. We weren't even

friends. Schwartz did make out with my
friend, but Katie and I weren't on good

terms. So Schwartz is my friend. That's
my boy. I have his back.

Girl code. Honestly, I'm more of a guy's
girl.

I think Schwartz is a really good guy.

But I believe that he's cheated on you.

And my opinion might mean absolutely
nothing to you. It's been a business,

actually. And I wish you just wouldn't
even say anything about it.

Kristen just wants to bring everyone
down to her level.

Try to expose things about them because
misery loves company.

Okay. No, do you think she's going to...
I'm going to go inside. What do you

think? She's going to give you a hug and
a kiss since they were best friends?

Like... God.

I can't stand her.

It hurts so bad right now. Like, it's...
Mom's coming.

I text him and...

I mean, do you 100 %? There's no part of
you that thinks Schwartz did it, right?

I really don't feel like it.

I actively tried to distance myself from
exactly, exactly the cannibal.

I got that bad feeling.

I got a frog in my throat.

That's bullshit.

made out with someone.

That is... That's not bullshit.

That was... That's true.

I'm just... I'm just gonna come clean.

It was over a year ago.

It was after one of our huge, massive...
No, no, no. I know.

I'm just... It's my fault. No, no, no.

Probably not at all. I take full
responsibility. It's not your fault at

What's her name?

Her name's Kate.

Why? Why?

I was hammered, obviously.

I would never do that.

You know I don't look good for other
girls.

They just saw me being sloppy and drunk.
And you just did in front of everyone?

No, I don't even remember. You don't
even like to kiss me in public.

I've been getting better, man. You're
going to go to a place where so many

people know us. And you're going to do
something like that.

It was just a douche move.

I know it hurts,

but trust me.

because you have sex with someone that
makes you. No, no, that's absolute

bullshit. No, I really don't. No, I
know. That's why I never wanted to bring

this up because I was afraid you would
just get in the slippery slope mindset

and be like, well, what else does he do?
What else does he do? I'm hearing all

these rumors and so far one of them is
true. Like, what am I supposed to think?

I'm not a cheater.

But you are.

No, I'm not.

But you did.

I'll be honest.

I love Katie, and I see that she's
devastated, and it just breaks my heart

see her like that.

Everyone's lying to my face right now.

Who said that? Kristen said that?

Kristen said that Chuck told her that.
No. You need to talk to her. First of

all, how do you have friends like this
that say this kind of stuff about you? I

don't want these people in my life. I
have no idea why he would say this. I

don't know if he's trying to, like,
break us up or what his motives are.

He told Kristen that it would give him
the greatest joy to watch you fuck your

own friend.

That's what your friend has said about
you and about me. I want him out of my

life. Let me talk to him. Is he here?

Yeah. Yeah.

Can you watch the bar? I'll be right
back.

Oh, my God. Here we go.

Jax. What's up, dude?

What? Dude.

I'm working. You just keep saying that
you're telling Kristen like that.

I'm sorry now? Because we're all here
and we all say what? What did I say to

Kristen? Tell them, Kristen's saying
that you told her that you slept.

I never said that. Kristen was here. So
if you want to go hang and see Kristen,

we all have to be in the same room
together. No, no, no. I'm not throwing

I'm just asking.

I don't really understand. I just wanted
to clear the... I know. Sorry, dude.

Why the f*** is Tom apologizing to Jax?

He said that you, it would make your
life to watch Schwartz f*** a girl in

of me.

There is time. What the f*** is wrong
with you? But I didn't see it. What the

f*** is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you? Don't worry
about what I say. You need help. Yeah, I

need help.

I know, I know. I need a lot of help.

I'm not going to say Schwartz would have
more fun if he was single and not with

Katie, but Schwartz would probably have
more fun if he was single and not with

Katie. Dude, you guys, you guys, not
this again. Go back to therapy. Well,

you're the one that called out me.

Where's your leash? Is Stassi here? Shut
the fuck up, Jack. I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you more than life.
Go cry some more.

I'm a glorified roommate.

Dude, stop.

No.

Don't let him.

He is saying these things. I don't want
this anymore in my life. Because I don't

need to come to work and deal with this.
I'm your friend.

I can't do it anymore.

Coming up. It makes me look like a
complete asshole chump from a rain of

with you. I know. It's like I want to
kick your ass or something. You kicked

over this time.

These cameras are so good. They're so
definitive. You can see everything.

Would it be wrong to put them in the
bathrooms and see what people are up to

there? No, you don't put it in my
bathroom. Hi, Lisa.

Who is it?

It's your favorite artist.

I brought you these, first of all.

Oh, see?

I've got your stuff on the wall. Thank
you so much, Lisa.

First of all, I promised you Ken once.
Oh, my God.

So here's Ken.

That's after the Botox.

So what on earth is that one over there?
I wanted to do something special for

you, so I did this.

Oh, that's so cute.

I love that. Thank you. It's not the
Mona Lisa.

It might be a Merling Lisa.

It might not belong in the Louvre, but
it definitely belongs in my office.

Thank you. That is so sweet of you. Go
and have dinner on me, champ.

I love you, Lisa. Thank you. I
appreciate that. Thank you. Bye, Lisa.

darling. Look at that. That is so sweet.
You don't buy me flowers.

I would do if I could afford them.

Do I want to even ask what happened last
night after I walked away?

You have no f***ing idea, man.

You want a beer?

Dude. Dude.

Alright, did you just... Please, did you
say anything to Kristen that anything

happened in Vegas?

Because... Yeah, I did. I did.

Oh my f***ing God, man.

She is a bad person, man.

No, she's not, man. Katie, she's not a
bad person. I took it in my own hands,

and it was stupid, and I'm sorry. Yeah,
I did.

I mean, here.

I honestly don't think you realize what
you've done.

I do realize what I did.

Dude, do you understand? Girls, they
make me so angry, and they put me in

bad place, and I just fire.

Just tell me exactly. I need to know
exactly what you said to her. Did you

that I would stay out with her?

Or stayed out with her. What are you
asking?

Yes, both.

But, dude, why?

I think it's been hell, man. You can't
disrespect our relationship when I'm

sitting there with Katie. I know, I
know. What I said yesterday was uncalled

for. I'm sorry.

I should not have said glorified. You
know, then it makes me look like a

complete asshole chump for remaining
friends with you. I know, I know. It's

I want to kick your ass or something. I
know, I know.

You've fucked me over this time.

Ultimately, Jack just does not want to
see me with Katie because he thinks that

I'm not happy, but... The reality is, I
am happy.

He needs to back off.

Katie, she's going over to Foxy's later,
and, like, Christina's going to be

there. Oh, God.

We're doing the whole Chardonnay, Haagen
-Dazs therapy, man.

You're going to go over there? Maybe
I'll just bring you over there, and you

explain everything to him. That's a
great idea. Let me smack you in the face

with a dildo three times, we'll be even.
After the nose healed completely.

All right.

Well, dude, they didn't tell you what
you have to do tonight at Pub Lounge

today. No, Lisa just said, come to Pump.

They want to... It can't be worse than
angel wings last year. They want us to

try past drinks.

I'm not trying past drinks.

Are you serious?

Can you go and

get three pink shirts for the guys from
Sir?

Yeah?

Dude, I'm literally going on no sleep
right now.

You didn't sleep last night? Yeah, it's
a bloodbath.

What happened? I did it, dude. I just
came clean. I told her about Make Out or

Brown the World. I stayed up all night.
She's crying, sobbing. I went to Jackson

today, and he told me. He told me that
he was essentially planning Steve.

Why did he do that? I've never been a
fan of Katie. Did he say that?

Pretty much.

He said that.

Dude, you know me. I don't. This is not
my department.

I... I don't do well with the dramatics,
dude.

Jack!

Yo, dude. What up, man?

Jack has been wanting Katie and
Schwartz's relationship to end for a

Jack's a twisted worldview.

He thinks he's doing the right thing by
being a... What

are

you doing? We should be changed. We
don't have shirts. What are you doing?

I don't know why I can't stay mad at
Jack.

Kind of a bro thing, you know. There's a
term for a guy that stays mad at

another guy.

It's a girl.

Guys, come on. What are you doing? Let's
go.

Hey, this is how you wear this uniform.

Exactly. You're going to pass the food.
I'm not even going to let you anywhere

near the drink. All right, all right,
all right.

This is the environment where I should
let you keep you and keep you out of

trouble. I would say so out of trouble.
It's not my kind of thing. Maybe a new

nose. Maybe a new nose you could have a
new identity.

Okay, guys, can you give them, can you
get them, like, you know, give them a

try? Okay, come on, let's go.

Let's go. Put a smile on your face.

Put a smile on your face. Just be
simply.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah. Welcome to Palm.

Congratulations to you. Welcome to West
Hollywood.

Thank you so much. It's a much better
city with this place here. Yeah. The

is going swimmingly. It's got this
incredible kind of positivity in the

Elaine, you look so much like Ken's ex
-wife. You have no idea. Here we go.

Five, three, two, one.

You've got more than you bargained for.

The food seems to be great.

The drinks are flowing.

Everything's fantastic.

That's huge. This is a mushroom.

Mushroom caviar? Tell it to me, Tom.

Oh, God.

Have you tried it yet? The pump staff
are very different to the surf staff.

I'll lift you up. Say, Patsy, how did
this happen?

Whoa, whoa.

You're in a hole, man. You've got to
stay here behind me.

Oh, my God.

It would be nice if the surf staff
didn't need constant supervision.

It's not only me making yourself look
like a fool.

You're making me look like one as well.

That'll just have to do.

It's almost like an insult to compare
Schwartz to Jax and Tom and Kristen. I

never thought that he would sink down to
that level. It's really sad.

My radar was off a little bit.

Jax, I give up. He just infuriates me so
much. Like, I can hardly stand the

sight of him. He shouldn't be fighting
with girls.

Like, I really can't comprehend how,
like, nobody's being like, this isn't

normal. Like, he should probably be
stoned to death.

I can't be around Schwartz if he's going
to allow this. Like, these people that

are saying these things about you and
saying these things about him, like, are

those his friends?

Is he going to still hang out with them?

Did you go home last night?

Yeah. No, I mean, it's not, it's, you
guys, I'm not 15.

I know, I know, but I'm just trying to
put myself in your shoes and, like, how

would react.

I would probably just be throwing up.

I feel like if Katie doesn't stand up
for herself with her relationship,

Her life is just stagnant.

She's not moving forward.

Tom is, he's, like, weird about talking
about, like, emotions, but, like, last

night, he actually really, like, with
all the remorse and all the humility

he could bring, he's probably scared.

What scares me is that he's admitting to
making out, which I think is

eventually, in a few weeks, going to
lead to, like, I slept with that girl.

Coming up.

I don't want to see you guys break up.

I never want to see that.

But you have to stand up for yourself.

Okay, so he's admitting that he made out
with somebody, but he definitely didn't

sleep with someone in Vegas, like Jack
says.

No, no.

Some of this stuff hurt to hear. It hurt
to hear that there's been periods in

our relationship that he was really
questioning and very doubtful and very

unhappy. And I asked him, I'm not saying
ask me to marry you, but do you really

see us getting married?

Because I do.

I feel like I'm going to wake up in
three years and you're going to keep

me that, like, you're not ready.

And I'm like, I need to know, is it
because you're not, like, that kind of

love with me?

Like, you love me.

What did he say?

He said, no, absolutely not. Like, you
are that person.

And I'm like, you need to take some
responsibility in your life and figure

yourself out because this is something
that you've been saying for a while.

I don't want to see you guys break up. I
never want to see that.

But you have to stand up for yourself.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

Are you kidding?

Next time on Vanderpump Rules... Welcome
to power!

what you're holding on to with Jack. Me
not being friends with Jack doesn't

solve anything.

He should be exiled.

Get out of here.

Get out of here.

I'm Jax, by the way. I'm Vale. Vale. I'm
interviewing.

You're welcome to come back for a drink
on me when you're done. I don't

encourage any intercompany dating.

I'm going to sleep with her, probably.

This time last year, I asked you if you
were, you know, my boyfriend.

Which I was not.

Being around your boyfriend.

You're as big of a liar as he is.

Picking up your old belongings from
Tom's apartment.

Do you really need to go over to Tom's
place to get your mail? How many more

times do you think you're going to have
to do that?

It just gets exhausting.

When's this going to bloody stop?

Why do you just treat me like... I don't
want to be around you, Kristen.

I don't want to be around you.

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