All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S3E01

Last season on Vanderpump Rules.

All right, here we go.

I want it sexy.

I'm not going to run my business around
who's tracking who.

Let me see the inside of yours.

Oh, my God.

You are a bad person.

I will quit my job to get away from you.
Unfortunately for me, where you put

your dick affects my business.

I actually have a question for you. Will
you marry me? I'm getting married.

I don't want to compare my relationship
to the relationship my friends have.

But winning.

Tom and I have been together for five
years.

I'm tired of arguing all the time, man.

All right, it's official.

Good night, you. Me and Ariana made out
in a swimming pool. You hooked up with

my boyfriend. I'm smarter than you. I'm
prettier than you. Get the f*** over it.

But I did not go around.

The one behind your back. Jax and
Kristen had sex in January.

What? You banged my ex -boyfriend. I
didn't bang Jax. Yeah, we slept

You are disgusting. Yes, I did have sex
with him one time. Willie, sorry. So you

had sex with Jax? Yes. I'm not going to
deal with anyone's bullshit or lies ever

again.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

After everything happened last year, I
thought that was it. That was the end of

the group. It was over. How can you come
back from that?

But that's not the case.

Everyone has moved on a little bit and
grown up a little bit.

I realize I've made a lot of mistakes in
my past. I think about it as the old

Jackson. I'm a completely different
person now.

I'm probably at the highest point in my
life that I've ever been.

But I'm just so scared of, like,
something going wrong. It's a pattern in

life, and I have to be very careful.

What's up, Peter?

Since last summer, everything has
changed.

After admitting to sleeping with Jack, I
basically lost all of my best friends,

and Tom evicted me.

I definitely still love Tom, but it was
a really unhealthy relationship for both

of us.

How are you?

For the last five months, James and I
have been dating. He's 22, British.

Why are you so quiet?

I'm in the zone right now. Huh? I'm in
the zone right now. In the zone. In the

zone.

It's really good to me.

Happy look.

Pretty good on me, I think.

Hi, guys. Hi.

I've got to tell you something.

I can't remember any time I've had a
connection in a relationship like I have

with Ariana.

I think Ariana is beautiful.

She believes in me. I believe in her.

I can honestly say I've never been this
happy.

You busy tonight?

Uh, it's, like, steady. I don't feel
like Tom and I ever, like, started

I feel like maybe we just stopped not
dating.

Mmm.

You know the specials for tonight? Yes,
I do.

So we have a mushroom soup. So this is
from Almost Famous. It's my favorite

movie, all time ever.

Penny Lane says, it's all happening.

Right now in my life, it's all happening
for me. Everything I've wanted is all

coming together.

Ladies all set here? I have a great job,
the most amazing fiance I could ever

ask for.

Four margaritas? Once Jossie quit, sir,
I kind of felt like a weight was lifted.

I was happy she moved away and everyone
seemed a lot happier. Oh, I wanted to,

um, hold on.

Except Katie.

Um, Thursday night is my birthday.

I want you to come, but I don't think
they serve tequila there.

It's so annoying that I have this
tequila Katie sort of reputation

that I'm some kind of drunk.

But if you're trying to invite me to
your birthday, maybe you don't want to

insult me in the same sentence. How does
that sound?

I mean, thank you for inviting me, but,
like, I mean.

No, that's fine. I just, I mean, I'm
inviting everyone. If I could just take

stab at who's going to be there, like,
it's already enough, like, having to

to be around it.

But I don't want to take, like, my time
away from work. I just don't understand

if my best friend Ariana can be okay
with it how you can't be.

Sheena's a little delusional about her
whole birthday. I mean, she's inviting

Tom and Ariana, and then she's also
inviting Kristen and James.

Like, that's a really dumb idea.

Hi, how was everything?

Good, good.

Can I get you anything else right now?

Hello, you.

How are you?

Do we get a little kiss on the chin? No,
I'm not going to kiss you. I get love.

No, no, no, you don't. I'll tell you
what, I get a drink. How about that?

Guys, this is Rosé. Rosé, Rosé. So it's
doing great. It really is. It's doing

better than ever. But I'm always looking
for the next challenge.

First of all, how's the pump lounge
going?

Fantastic. But it's taken so much longer
than I thought it would.

Ken and I have decided to open a brand
new restaurant lounge bar in the

epicenter of the gay community.

I need something over there. I need
something here.

It's getting exciting.

I have a vision. I know I can create
something that is going to take sexy.

to a whole new level in West Hollywood.

I haven't even seen it yet. My new staff
is so cute and so hot. You don't want

to be up there. No, I don't. I'm good.
Because you know what? If you're up

there, you're going to look like their
grandfather.

You guys ready for this?

Are you ready for this? Are you ready?
You're taking one, right?

No, I'm not taking one. I'm working.

I'm not going to work here the whole
night. I'll be falling asleep here in a

minute. I'm going to take one. No,
you're not taking one, Jax.

Initially, after I punched Jax, Lisa
kept us at separate bars. Well, the bar

that Jax was working at makes way more
money than the other bar that I was at.

Girls, these are called the Blazing
Strawberries. So they put us on the main

bar. We're working next to each other.
Initially, for the first couple months,

not a word was said.

Let me make sure my boss isn't looking.

Lisa's not looking anywhere? No, that's
cool. Cheers. Happy birthday.

And then as time went on, it's like we
start making small talk, and then all of

a sudden, we've just kind of fallen back
into our friendship again.

Delicious. I've done that shot many
times.

You know, the whole thing with Kristen
and Tom, do I have remorse?

Absolutely. It took a lot of time for me
to realize that, but he's so much

happier the way he is now.

I don't want to say I did Tom a favor,
but I kind of did him a favor.

Oh, man.

How's the restaurant?

Hi, sunshine.

Hi.

I totally have to talk to you.

Not here, but, like... I just don't even
want to talk about it at work, but

you're, like, going to die.

Like... Okay.

What?

Possibly with Ariana, it's going to
affect her.

Tom went to Miami and cheated on Ariana.

The Miami girl goes on social media and
spills the news.

I reached out to her on Instagram and
the story is just too damn specific to

be true.

I have some hard proof that was brought
to my attention on social media. I have

text messages between myself and this
girl that Tom did in fact cheat.

I still want to get into it here because
then we're going to like sit here and

talk for an hour and then we're going to
get screamed at.

Oh, so just leave me hanging.

People may give Kristen about a lot of
things, but one thing she is killer at

stalking ex -boyfriends via social
media, regardless.

Ariana is my best friend, and she's my
priority.

So I'm supposed to not say something to
Ariana that I know there might be

something. You can do whatever you want
with it.

Hello. Hi. What are you doing?

Just finishing up.

Okay, what's going on? Anything?

I wanted to thank you for hiring Shorty
Tom. And I'm happy to give him a chance.

No problem at all.

Tom has been doing really well with
booking modeling gigs, but Tom would

definitely like a little more financial
independence if we're going to think

about getting married.

How's everything else? It's okay?

It's good. We have a full house right
now. Full house? Yes, because our friend

Stassi is moving back into town.

Why is she moving back? Her boyfriend's
job is moving him out here because the

hours are better.

Wow. Okay, I'm surprised by that. I
thought she'd gone to New York and it

one -way trip pretty much. I did too.

She's back. Okay.

Well, I'm not totally happy with the way
Stassi's behaved.

I was a good friend to her, not only
that. I kind of tried to steer her in

right direction.

And she just left.

She didn't have any regard, so I think
she owes me a phone call and an apology.

Coming up. Tom f***ed another girl while
he was in Miami, cheated on Ariana, and

he's going to do it again. I didn't know
it was this bad.

I was upset with you. I kind of fell off
the base of the earth. I was on your

side, and then you disappeared.

Well, I'm not totally happy with the way
he started to behave.

I was a good friend to her, not only
that. I kind of tried to steer her in

right direction, and she just left.

She didn't have any regard, so...

I think she owes me a phone call and an
apology.

I'll tell her.

I'll tell her to come by. I'm coming
there every day. Okay.

See you later.

Bye.

I picked up my life and wanted to get
away from everything, moved to New York,

and then my boyfriend, six months later,
wants to move to L .A.

When he brought it up in conversation, I
was like, I just ain't got here.

My chariot, it waits.

You know.

How was the crazy house?

All the Looney Tunes were there tonight.

It's unfortunate.

Kristen, Jack.

It honestly makes me sick to my stomach.
I feel like every time I watch

somebody, like, come out of there, like,
my heart skips a beat.

It feels so weird to, like, be parked in
this parking spot right now.

Like... I know. Well, Lisa came in, too.
She did? Yeah.

She's still a little butthurt about you
just, like...

leaving town and not saying goodbye, and
I figured.

Honestly, I never know where I stand
with Lisa.

She was mad at me for the way I left
her, I guess, but I don't agree with

anything that she said, and I think that
she was being sensitive.

She's like, anyway, tell her to come by
pump.

So she's there every day. I'll go
tomorrow.

Or you could go right now. No.

No, I'd rather be skinned alive than
walk in right now. I feel scared. Well,

should leave before anyone sees you.

Yeah.

You have a dollop every time you have
that.

Yeah.

Look at it.

It's beautiful. That's good job.

Pump has been an incredibly difficult
project. I would say probably the most

difficult project to date. We've ended
up having to put on a whole new story

because we didn't have the square
footage. We've ended up with three times

many toilets as I thought we needed.

It's taken us twice as long, and it's
cost us twice as much money.

I've almost lost my mind over this
project.

One day I actually went home in tears
because it was all just too much.

Are you kidding me, Robert Earl? I am
jealous.

Are you?

Yes. You know what you're doing.

Oh, it's a mess right now?

No, no, no.

This is special.

Robert Earl is genius. He's created so
many incredible places. Planet

he owns Buca di Beppo, he's got
Mixology, and his kind of vote of

everything to me. I think when you can
go to a place before it opens, And it

feels so warm and inviting.

Oh, my God, we've come such a long way.
It's going to be big.

From your mouth to God's ears. I'm
jealous. Are you? You're jealous.

Did you have a look around everywhere?

It's magic.

I'll show you around anyway.

So there was nothing here whatsoever.
And then I brought the trees in with

cranes. They're 100 years old.

Fabulous. And the bar's almost finished.

Oh, look at this.

This is going to be like a little VIP.

Wow. I know, it's sexy.

Can you have sex in here or not? Well,
you can.

I've always said to every man, Villa
Blanca is where you take your wife.

And so it's where you take your
mistress.

And now Pump can be where you take your
boyfriend.

This is a $10 to $15 million store for
sure.

Congratulations. Oh, God, I hope so.

You look really pretty. You're welcome.

Hey. How are you?

Hello. How are you, mate? Good. Okay.
You want one of those?

Yeah, yeah, I'll do that. Okay, I'll do
the cake then. I just want something

light. Whatever.

Thanks, babe.

Thank you.

Boys.

God, they really did everything.

Cheers, darling.

Thank you.

Cheers. Cheers, guys. Birthday Eve.
Couple more hours.

Cheers, Brett.

So we're going, what time is it? We're
like around nine. I do want to end up on

the bar by the end of the night.

You'll be on the bar. Oh, you'll be on
the bar. You'll probably be on the bar

the beginning of the night. Let's do it.

True. What happened last night at work?

No, it was just, it was so busy.

I was like in the bar, the garden, the
veranda, and the patio all at the same

time. Everyone else was just like
standing around and I'm like running

the case like, oh, I can help you if you
need it. I'm like, no, I'm good. Thank

you. It was just one of those nights.

Kristen tells me at work last night that
Tom and some girl in Miami had hooked

up. Whatever it was. What was it that
you had said? She said... I haven't seen

it yet. Well, I'll get into it. The
story is so much more than I ever even

imagined. So listen.

Okay. Well, I'll just read exactly what
she wrote. I said, I really do

appreciate you talking to me about this.
I had to ask. I didn't know if it was

true. She said, you slept with him,
right?

She said, yes.

I have his number and text to Chris.

I honest to God want to give Kristen the
benefit of the doubt that she's not

doing this maliciously. But at the same
time, why are you going out of your way

to reach out to this girl to find out
what your ex -boyfriend did in Miami?

This is none of your business.

Tom gets horny, wants to f*** her.

She tells him, I'm on my period, we
can't f***.

He literally told that girl, I want you
to go in the bathroom, I want you to

prove to me that you're f***. on your
period.

Yeah. Who does that? So she did.

And he said, I still want to fuck you.

I'm like, speechless. I don't even know
what to say.

Tom also told her that he's not with
Ariana anymore. He said they broke up

weeks before Miami.

What shocks me is how Ariana is
completely just immune to the whole, to

whole emotion that Tom could be.

Why is Sheena crying?

Typical Sheena, making it all about
herself.

He f***ed another girl while he was in
Miami, cheated on Ariana, and he's gonna

do it again.

Trust me, you know I don't f***ing like
Ariana, and I don't want to be with Tom.

Do I want them to be together?

I mean, no, I really don't.

If Tom were dating...

Anyone but Ariana, I never would have
looked into this.

But Ariana was screwing around with Tom
when he was my boyfriend.

Karma's a bitch.

Obviously, I'm not going to sit there
and have a heart -to -heart with Ariana

and say, hey, look at my phone. This is
like the worst conversation I'll have in

my life.

I don't know that Ariana knows anything.
I don't know that Tom's told her

anything. So now I have to tell Ariana
this information.

I have an obligation. She's my best
friend.

So think.

Coming up. Where I was in my head, I
really thought I was doing the right

But when you needed me, I'm there for
you. And then I hear nothing.

Thanks for coming with me today. Hey,
man. How do you feel about yourself

now? Dude, I'm anxious to get this done.

I was supposed to get this done a long
time ago, and I'm finally doing it. I

barely breathe nowadays.

I'm nasally 24 -7.

So I went to my doctor to see what I can
do about this.

Turns out that I have a deviated septum.
I'm here to see Dr. John.

Excellent. I'll let him know you're
here. Make yourself comfortable.

Okay. Thanks.

He told me, you know, we can have
surgery and take care of this.

So I was like, you know what? If he's up
there already, might as well kill two

birds with one stone and, you know,
straighten out that bump and see if I

look a little prettier than I already
am.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Me neither.

I've been wanting to do this for a long
time.

I'm finally doing it.

You won't recognize yourself in the
mirror, but maybe that's a good thing

you. Because of, you know, all the
horrible things you've done in the past.

what?

I'm going to be honest, I'm a little,
little apprehensive about going to

Sheena's birthday.

Is Carmen coming?

Carmen's going.

I don't know what I'm going to do about
this situation.

It's giving me anxiety.

My personal life's a little bit up and
down, up and down.

It just so happened to have met Carmen,
met her, kind of hit it off and started

dating. It's such a situation right now.
I don't know how I get myself in these

predicaments. What do you mean? You've
been doing it for 10 years.

I'm surprised.

I met somebody else, Tiffany.

One thing led to another. We started
dating.

The only thing was the distance.

She lives in Las Vegas. I live in Los
Angeles.

This is the new thing with me, though.
They both know about each other.

There's no lying. There's no deceiving.

This is all going to end terribly.

I mean, it always does with Jax and the
women he dates.

They're both amazing girls.

No, they're really good. I know. They
both bring different things to the

At the end of the day, we both know it
comes down to feet. So you're just going

to have to set them up side by side.

She's got the better looking feet. We
both know I got a serious foot fetish.

There he is. Hey, buddy. How are you?
Good to see you.

I was introduced to my surgeon, Dr.
Lakey, by Tiffany. Tiffany is friends

his wife.

So that kind of worked out in my favor
because I got the friends and family

discount. So the whole idea is to narrow
at the top and add a little width to

the bottom.

After you remove that hourglass sort of
appearance, it'll really give you a

nice, chiseled, straight bridge of the
nose.

That looks great just there already.

You know, again, these small, subtle
changes can make a big difference.

Obviously, the primary goal is to help
you breathe a little easier, and this is

icing on the cake. I'm excited. Yeah,
I'm really excited.

You know, sometimes it is possible to
improve upon perfection.

I'm ready to go, Dad. Looking forward to
it?

You're going to have to pick me up and
drop me off.

You will be Nurse Ratched.

Yeah. I'm going to make you.

You're going to be my bitch. The role I
know well. Nice.

I've been spending the last six months
in New York.

relearning what it's like to be happy.

I feel like I've grown up a lot, and
I've been trying to be the more mature

person, and it's just so funny, because
ever since I've been back in L .A., I

feel like I'm being sucked back in.

I want a list of my cocktails, the
Pumptini, the Pumping Glory, all the

things. Hi!

Oh, my God, look what the cat dragged
in.

I suppose I've got to give you a hug.
Yes, you have to. Oh, my God. I'm

cross with you as well.

Why?

Okay, come on.

Okay, I want to tell you off. I was
upset with you, madam, because you

disappeared.

I kind of fell off the face of the
earth, like, after everything that

It's unusual for you to get somebody
that's on your side, come rain or shine,

and I was on your side.

However, I didn't hear from you after
that.

When Lisa tells me that I've done
something wrong, I nod and apologize.

I'm sorry.

Okay, that's good enough.

You can't win with Lisa. That's just how
it is.

What about all your, you know,
girlfriends there? There are just

that I don't want to associate myself
with.

Katie will give me updates, and I can't
believe that these people are not

growing and not, like...

They're changing and not changing
themselves. I don't get it. I really, I

get it. Sheena is.

Sheena's growing and she's, you know,
carving out something for herself.

And that's fine, but I... Who are you
talking about? Be specific.

Everyone besides Katie.

Yeah.

I used to think Kristen was edgy because
she made all these self -destructive

choices. When I was 19, that was
interesting.

But now that I'm older, I realize it's
just really sad.

Like, die alone with a bunch of cats
sad.

So what are you doing?

What are you doing for money? I mean,
what are you doing for work?

Mommy and Daddy supporting you?

Well, I mean, I'm doing my best. I mean,
I started this blog called Style by

Saskia. Okay.

It's a hobby that I hope at some point I
will make money for it, but that

doesn't come for a while. Darling, you
have a hobby when you're wealthy. Right

now you need a job.

Anyway, I'm glad you're back.

Thank you. Even though you are a major
pain in the ass.

Well, at least you don't have to deal
with me. That's true.

Do you want a glass of wine?

Sure. Okay, so, I mean, obviously we
both need to get ready because we have

be there in a little bit. But there is
something that I have to show you.

And if I don't tell you now, I'm, like,
going to explode.

Kristen, talk to this girl

on Instagram.

I don't even think I can read it out
loud. I kind of want to just let you

this.

I just couldn't not.

tell you this, and obviously I don't
want to do this today, but this is how

Instagram conversation started out
between them.

Some things I'm reading right now that I
know are bullshit.

Why is he sending her selfies?

When Tom and Jackson Schwartz were in
Miami, they, of course, hang out with a

bunch of people, and then this girl
starts blabbing all over the place a lot

things that, A, didn't happen, and put
words in his mouth that he didn't say.

Like, she was full of... I have seen all
of this.

And his explanation?

They were like, well, sure, we should
roll up with some girls.

We shouldn't just show up to this club
by ourselves.

I just don't want you to, like, fall for
his s*** if he is lying again. Tom and

I are, like, disgustingly honest with
each other about s*** that we don't even

need to be.

I mean, I hope so. It's just, like, he's
such a good liar. Like, you know that.

Oh, I know that, and I know when he's
lying.

I'm so afraid that Ariana is just so
infatuated and in love with Tom that she

won't even see the truth when it's
literally in writing in front of her

I kind of have to wonder, like, what
possesses Kristen and, like, what level

obsession does she have to then go and
contact this girl? She's not doing this

to try and get Tom back.

Kristen? No, she's doing it because
she's obsessed with, like, hating me.

Detective Kristen, it's all just really,
A, none of her business, and B,

what is she trying to say? She's, like,
helping me out?

We know better than that.

My gut feeling tells me that there's
more to it and that something did happen

that crossed the line.

Coming up. For Kristen to be trolling on
Instagram just to be vindictive and a

fucking bitch, like, that sucks.

Let's go through the whole menu. Visual,
sexy. What did you say you want to

play?

I found a chef, Penny DeVini.

Penny's got the same feeling for food
that I do.

It's a passion for food. You've got a
skirt steak on the menu. We can do a

steak for you guys.

Yeah, that would be cute. Bangers and
mash.

They've got to be pork sausages.

Do you like a pork sausage penne? It's
West Hollywood. They're all desperate

a pork sausage.

Pickled cucumber.

Pickled cucumber would go down well
here. Not only has it got to taste

fantastic, but it's got to look really,
really sexy.

Red cabbage is beyond sexy. We're going
to present him on a butter lettuce.

Okay, sexy.

I like that. Okay, go.

Salmon carpaccio. This is the sexiest
thing on the planet.

Pinky, juicy, super burger.

And how's he going to come?

On a brioche.

The papaya and creamy crab. No crab.
Lisa and crab should never be in the

tent.

It feels amazing to walk into Sheena's
party

with James on my arm.

Ready to turn it up in here.

I moved to L .A. first off to be a DJ.

I do feel like I'm a bit ahead of the
game, you know. I've been touring

with Eric Prid, Deadmau5, Paul Ogunfold,
some of the biggest names in the game,

so party all night. What do you want to
say?

Uh, Zach and Kyle, go for it? Yeah.

Thanks, babe.

Last year, Foxy and Katie were at
Sheena's birthday, and they were not

the birthday girl.

Sheena, really?

You're right.

I'm over this, and I don't f***ing care
because it's my birthday, and f*** you

guys.

What the?

This year, Katie and the girls are going
out for a few drinks, and she gives me

the old passive -aggressive, you do what
you want.

When you hear do what you want, it means
do for not doing what I want. How's it

going? How you feeling?

Good to see you.

Excited for your birthday?

Yeah, kind of.

I love it!

Thanks.

I remember that.

Hey, what's up, man?

What is going on here? You know I'm a
man of tradition. We're going to start

with seven shots.

Oh, my God. So the last time I was here,
I did seven shots.

Are these strong?

I won't do that again.

Oh, my God. I just did seven shots.

Start with these just to break it in.

Serious? All right.

Let's go.

Kidding. They're water, dude.

He can't be taking seven shots anymore.

This reminds me of Peter's birthday a
little bit.

Of course. I told Tom all about these
rumors, and the bottom line is,

I trust him.

Kristen is trying to get me upset. She
doesn't have that power.

Hi. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Well, we all know she doesn't believe
any of that.

Thank you.

What did you guys do today?

I had two finals.

Whoa. I just graduated college. What?

College or high school?

Oh. Carmen is just fun. It's easy. She
lives here.

She's friends with Sheena. She's friends
with the group. It's almost like a

saucy part two, but not a crazy bitch.

I do need to talk to you and I'd like to
just get it over with so I don't have

to think about it for the rest of the
night. Yeah, that sounds great.

Stress isn't easy to sit in.

Yeah. Okay, so I mean, obviously she
called you and told you what I told her

today. Yeah, I honestly don't even know
where to begin.

You hung out with this girl. Oh, yeah.

You texted her, you exchanged numbers.

Yeah, like there was a whole group of
us, yeah.

Basically, I called up these girls, had
them meet up with us to go to this club.

Then I ended up leaving.

Schwartz ended up taking a picture of
me, passed out in my clothes.

And that was it.

I 100 % did not sleep with this girl in
Miami.

Did you tell her you broke up with
Ariana three weeks prior to that?

not. You don't understand the feeling I
have for Ariana.

I tell her everything.

I want you to see these text messages
that she sent. I don't fucking care.

Okay.

If you don't care, then I don't care. If
you guys are happy and nothing

happened, then that's fine. I'll leave
it at that. I'm not trying to get in the

middle of anything.

A part of me will always feel like Tom
got away with something, but it's not my

business anymore.

I care about both of you. Let's take a
step back here for a second.

I know you call Ariana your best friend,
but you choose to be friends with

Kristen. And for Kristen to be trolling
Instagram and to hit up this girl

to like ruin our happiness for no reason
but just to be vindictive and

a bitch.

Like, that's f***ed up.

And you choose to be friends with James,
who you know is a f***ing piece of

s***. Like, we were good friends. I held
that motherf***er in my arms when him

and his girlfriend broke up.

There's a lot of history behind me and
James.

We were supposed to be making music
together.

You know, he told me I'm, like, his best
friend. And during that time, he

started pursuing Kristen, and they
started sleeping together.

And it's like he completely stabbed me
in the back.

He's a douche. This is just, like,
supposed to be the happiest summer of my

life. I just don't want to deal with any
of this, and I can't cry because these

eyelashes are me. I know. Tell me about
it.

I'm kidding.

Charlotte, Carrie, Miranda.

Happy. She is really serving up the
variety pack of bull lately.

I mean, she's friends with Kristen.
She's friends with Jack.

My night is going to be so much more fun
than she and his birthday party because

my friends all actually like each other.

So Schwartz is going tonight.

Schwartz is there.

I can't tell him what to do.

I totally agree. You can't tell him what
to do. It doesn't mean it's not

frustrating.

This is how I look at it. It's like
anyone that wants to go and hang out

sexist people, that like says something
about their character.

I like Ariana.

I think I don't have a problem with her.
I'm like, but look at who she's

surrounding herself with. Yeah, so I'm
like something must be wrong.

All of this is weird. I don't understand
how Ariana's best friend is Sheena and

Sheena's new best friend is Kristen and
Ariana's just okay with that.

I would gut Katie if she did that.

You guys, can I show you something on
Twitter?

Kristen tweeted, described myself in one
word, loyal, with zero apologies.

I honestly feel like that has to be a
joke.

It has to actually be like a joke. I
don't think she knows what it means.

This is why we are not here.

Like, for her to write that and think
that she... You know what? I'm going to

pick one word. One word.

Yeah?

So, let's make a toast.

Okay, we can toast to a lot of different
things. Okay.

Sassy Rose in L .A. Sassy Rose is back
in L .A. Oh, and to friendship.

To friendship.

Whatever.

Hey, hey. How y 'all doing?

My issue with Sheena is that she is
friends with Kristen.

I don't like Kristen very much. She just
lost all of my respect when she stopped

respecting everyone around her.

Would you take a picture of us really
quick?

Excellent.

Love it. All right, guys, we got to make
this count. Yeah, make this count.

Are we Instagramming this photo?

Wait, what's this?

What the hell?

They're making fun of the picture that I
just posted.

Hashtag OMG Insta fight.

They're trying to sew us up.

And this Instagram war?

We're winning, baby.

Everybody, it's time to shut the f*** up
for two minutes.

We're here for one person only tonight.
It's Sina Marie's birthday.

We're about to turn it up right now with
our remix.

James really has a habit of annoying the
shit out of people. Guy's loud,

obnoxious. He walks around like he's a
Muppet. Spits in people's faces.

Can't handle his alcohol.

When we went out, I would pay for all of
his drinks because I knew he was a

buster at Sir and didn't make the same
amount of money that I did. Lo and

behold, he's taking all of his money and
hoarding it so he can buy a Beamer and

take Beamer selfies.

He's embarrassing.

Hey, did you hear what happened?

I don't like that face.

I don't even know if I want to know.
That's got to do with my irony.

It's not good, man. It's not good.

I know how Kristen works, and she needs
to stop digging around and trying to

investigate. What is she going to say?
Oh, see, I told you so.

So? You're not going to get back
together, Tom. You still look like an

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but
can I just ask what was being said?

seeing a girl behind his girlfriend's
back.

But why do you care? Why is it like... I
was curious, and I cared because... You

care about Ariana?

You don't care about Ariana? No. Let's
be honest.

No, it's fine. You don't. Okay. At least
I have the audacity to say I reached

out to this chick on social media.

Why, though? Why do you care?

Because I don't care.

He's a lying, cheating piece of shit.

And he's going to continue to be a
lying, cheating piece of shit.

Everyone's lied and cheated and stuff.

Everyone's lied and cheated. We've all
lied and cheated here except for Carmen.

Wait, what do you mean? We've all lied
and cheated. All of us. No,

like, we've all lied and cheated.

I've lied and cheated. Kristen's lied
and cheated. Tom's lied. We've all done

it. Stop defending him.

I'm not defending anybody.

I'm not. But I'm saying we lied. He took
this girl in the bathroom, made her

prove that she wasn't on a f***ing
period.

You and Sandoval, it's a f***ing joke.

You and James is a f***ing joke.

Oh, you guys.

Come on, let's be honest. What, you're
in love with him?

Kristen is so obsessed with Tom, it's
ridiculous.

It's like, it's going to come to the
point where he's going to have to get a

restraining order.

She actually makes herself look really
sad.

I'm going to get a drink. Okay.

I'll be over in a minute. Yes.

She's crazy.

Oh yeah, what was that about? You and
Tom?

He admitted the parts of it that were
true.

He made her prove that she's on her
period?

No, he didn't say that. He didn't
mention that?

Well, no, he said nothing happened.

All right, well, that's a lie.

Do you believe every word he said?

I'm not saying that, but it's not my
business. It's not my relationship.

She's happy.

So... She's not f***ing happy.

Well, they don't care to see the text
messages. They don't want to see

else. No, at the end of the day, the
truth comes out with everything.

And if something else is going to come
out, then let it come out. At the end of

the day, the truth will come out.

All right.

I'm going to go grab Kristen real quick.
I'll be right back, all right? All

right, that'll be fun.

I feel like I just need to say something
to Kristen since she's put all these

freaking man hours into obsessing over
my life.

Get a life and move on.

And stop bugging me.

To Mission Blonde, please. Thank you.
What do you want?

Hey, guys.

Hey, what's up?

How you doing,

man? I'm good.

Yeah, how are you? I'm great.

Kristen, you want to go?

I don't.

You don't?

Talk about what? Talk about what, John?

What does he want to talk to you about?
I don't know and I don't care.

Coming up... Don't get f***ing smart
with me.

No, don't get smart with me. You're a
f***ing 31 -year -old.

Stop it! No!

Kristen, you want to go, um... I don't.

You don't?

Talk about what? Talk about what, Don?

I'm here to talk to Kristen. If she just
stops obsessing over my life and moves

on with her own, she'll probably be a
lot happier.

What does he want to talk to you about?

What do you have to talk to her about?

Oh, um... Do you want to talk about...
My life that you... My life that you

to be so interested in.

I was interested. I was curious.

And she told me... You're really
curious.

I was curious. I was curious.

What do you mean?

James, go take a f***ing Beamer selfie
or something.

Oh, a Beamer selfie?

I thought you were going to take a Honda
Civic selfie, man. Okay, James.

Tom is in no competition with me. I bet
he wishes he can go back to being 22

years old, you know?

You do. I'm having the time of my life
right now. What are you doing? Nothing.

Don't get f***ing smart with me.

No, don't get smart with me. You're a
f***ing 31 -year -old.

This season on Vanderpump Rules.

Let's go!

This looks fantastic.

Watch out, bitches. I'm back.

What a whore.

Hanging out with people that try to
destroy your relationship? I don't want

wake up like you every morning with
hatred and anger in my heart.

No punching in the face.

No banging each other's girlfriend.

I think we're good.

I've had to sleep with every single
person West Hollywood gets.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Yeah, I've got what it takes.

Dating two women at the same time
probably isn't the best idea. You want

all these little girls hanging along.
What I did is a f***ing thing. You just

got to stop doing f***ing things, man.
Everyone tells me to watch out for you,

but I don't judge.

I just don't like you two together. And
it's thrown in my face all the time.

She's a ticking time bomb. I just do not
feel safe.

All the weird ass that you did in Miami.
It's not true, Crystal. We had sex.

No, we did not. We had sex. No, we did
not. Yes, we did. The truth will come

out. Truth is going to come out. The
truth always does come out. It always

out. Just know that I'm sorry, okay?

Do you know how much I bet your fucking
back about that? I don't know what to

say. It makes me so angry. I've had
enough of your bullshit.

I'm so happy.

the best day of my life with all of you.
No, no, I'm not going out. This is

ridiculous. This is so embarrassing.

You slept with one of Tiffy's best
friends. I'm not a cheater.

Please, did you state that anything
happened in Vegas? Yeah, I did.

know what to do. We just don't want to
do it.

Jack just walked in.

Oh, my God. I'm going to go.

I have to go. You're not the girl that
runs away and hides at the corner.

Good luck, Stassi.

So to see more of Vanderpump Rules, go
to bravotv .com.