Original subtitles

James rainbow, you have pleaded guilty

to a crime of a serious nature.

That of having caused grievous bodily harm.

It may be as your learned counsel pleaded,

you imagined you had provocation

when you found your girl in compromising circumstances

with this man you attacked.

I am also not unmindful of the fact

that you called an ambulance

and did everything you could to help the wounded man.

However, you did resort to the use of a knife

and crimes of this nature among the youth

of this country are all too prevalent nowadays.

I want it clearly understood in this court

that the use of a knife cannot

and will not be tolerated in any circumstances.

You will go to prison for 12 months.

All persons who have anything further

to do before my lords the queen's justices of oyer

and terminer and general gaol delivery for the jurisdiction

of the central criminal court may depart hence,

give their attendance here again

tomorrow morning at 10:30.

God save.

Don't make it too long, miss.

Jim.

I'm terribly sorry.

Good, that's nice.

I wish I could have helped.

You did.

You helped a lot.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

It does, Jim, now it does.

Now?

Now I know you love me.

I had to take a knife to convince you.

Jim

Jim, I...

You played about, Wendy.

You always played about.

I was never sure.

You're just that type.

Jim, I'm not that type.

Not really.

You'll see.

I'll wait.

I'll wait.

We'll see.

Darling.

I'll write to you.

I'll explain.

What else can I do?

That's right, you write, once a month.

Sorry, miss.

Come along, rainbow.

One on, chief.

One on, Mr. Murray.

One on, Mr. Smith.

One on, Mr. Roberts.

One on, chief.

James rainbow.

Thank you.

Over here.

Rainbow, huh?

Your first offence?

Yes, sir.

Right.

Keep yourself clean.

Work hard and stay out of trouble, you'll be all right.

For the time being, you'll be on washing up tanks.

Also you'll help the red band.

He'll tell you what to do.

All right, get to it.

Well, come on then, lively now.

Red band.

Sir?

Get him started.

Right, chief.

Cover over here, kiddo.

What's he put you on?

He said something about washing up tanks.

Oh, you'll need a pair of dancing pumps then.

Come into the office.

Sit down, boy.

Try these, they look about right.

How much porridge you got, son?

Porridge”?

How much bird?

How long you doing?

Oh.

12 months.

12 months!

That's only time to go to the lavatory

and get your hair cut.

Well, cheer up, it's a start, ain't it?

Right, b block now.

89 diets, two muslims, one Jew,

three diabetic, four punishment diets.

All right, get cracking.

Give them plenty.

One each, right.

G block coming up.

109 diets, three muslims, two Jews.

Come on, give them plenty.

One each.

All right, don't go to sleep now.

That's right, away you go.

Keep it up.

All right, come on you slag heaps, outside.

Get the supply Van unloaded.

Come on, come on, hurry it up.

- Ready? - Yes.

Bracket, Dillon.

Lang.

- Here you are, mouse. - Right-o.

Get the sugar, rainbow.

Don't fall asleep, mead.

Red band.

Get that gammon into the cold room, come on, jump to it.

Good luck, boy.

All right, come on, make yourselves up.

That's it.

A right handy tool, eh, mouse?

Fetch plenty of snout, that fellow would.

Here, are we gonna hoist it?

How many are there?

I'll have a butchers.

Three sacks, three in a sack.

Nine.

Bit dodgy, ain't it?

We'd have to find it a good home.

Yeah, it's logic, ain't it?

I like it, mouse, it's nice.

I'll work on it.

Come on, red band, lively now.

Right, everyone inside.

All right, come on then, you lags, get cracking.

Get everything cleared up.

Red band, run off a can of tea.

Dillon, get the bread up for nose bags.

All right, mott.

Nose bags.

Right.

Nose bags.

Flop yourself down for a minute, rainbow

rainbow, eh?

Top moniker that one.

Yeah, he's one of the old Bailey boys.

That's right, Sonny boy,

you sit down beside the red band.

He's a trusty for the screws.

Never mind him, kiddo, he's a nutter.

Dear mother, was it worth it?

Saturday afternoon and what's for tea?

Bread and marg, and not even a rasher and a few tomatoes.

Why not a few selected chicken breasts, eh?

Make it jellied eels for me.

Right, I'll have a few words with the chef about it.

It almost proves that man can live on bread alone.

Oh, how I wish I hadna done it.

It all seemed wrong at the time.

Dillon, do me a favour.

What's that?

Get stuffed.

I only with it's been your horrible head I'd chopped off

instead of my poor old granny's.

You couldn't chop the head off a stick of celery.

Cut it out down there,

or I'll have you all scrubbing the floor.

Yeah, wrap it up a bit.

Oh, listen to her, the voice of authority.

We we gotta do, get up and dance?

He's only a con trying to be a screw.

Shut up, toe rag.

Leave lang out, kid, he's a monkey.

Only don't let a monkey hear you say so.

Here come on, liven this char up, mouse.

Mouse?

Yeah.

I'm the mouse.

Mouse mead.

It's because I can creep into the drums quiet like.

'Course, it don't seem

to stop me gettin' me collar felt though.

No, he's got a double threadbare collar.

This is his 14th lot of porridge.

He copped three years this time.

Three years.

How long have you got?

Just finishing off sixpennorth.

Four in the bag and two off for remission.

You mean you've done four years?

Yeah.

Mind you, I thought the old man on top

took a bit of a Liberty.

I said to him, "I'll never do six years, your honour."

And he said, "well, do your best, red band.

"Do what you can of it."

I've only got a month to go now.

How've you done it?

Well, it's just doing time.

Tomorrow comes and it's new,

you smoke a few fags, use a lot

of bad language and it's gone.

They pass, they all pass.

It's doing time.

I've worked out my sentence.

With remission, it's eight months.

That's a birthday,

Christmas,

spring.

Dear, oh dear.

We've got a poet with us now.

You can't go weighing it all up like that, my son.

Birthdays and christmases.

It'll seem like you're in here a million years.

Forget it.

Like the red band says, it all goes by,

it's logic ain't it?

Yeah.

Even a toothache stops.

Yeah, but it hurts while you've got it.

Here's the only cure for toothache, Sonny.

Snout.

You smoke that.

Thanks.

Mind you, I get back two when you draw your wages.

Don't ever do that, kid.

You'll be in to him for life

and you might wind up with a scar.

He's a baron.

Yeah, don't ever get mixed up with a baron's boy.

They're double villains.

I ain't like that, Sonny.

Not to people I like.

And I like you.

You shut up, toe rag.

We've got enough snout to start a cigarette factory,

right, mouse?

We're loaded.

We'll have a little drag now, eh?

This'll be my first for three days.

That's all right.

Here clock the chief, mouse

and let's have a drop of the old steam.

I'll clock him, but why you want

the hot water taps on, I'll never know.

The steam don't fool him none.

He knows we're smoking, the cunning old melt.

Course he knows, don't he.

But when you turn that tap on,

he's certain sure, ain't he.

And the old chief likes to be sure, don't he?

That way he don't have to wonder should he offer us

one of his fags or not.

Bung it over here, boy,

before the chief susses you of arson.

Mead!

I am watching you, watching me.

Oh, he's a sausage and a half that chief, ain't he?

He's got peepers that have little butchers round corners.

Yeah, the slimy old rat.

Always cops me.

Here, how comes he never cops you?

I'm his mate, ain't I?

It'll come.

One day it'll come, my blue eyed errand boy.

And when he turns on you, he'll have you're diet

nice and quick.

You won't be the trusty old red band then.

Oh, no.

A few days solitary with the old bread and water,

you'll be singing a very different tune, me old cocky.

Oh do leave off, lang.

I tell you we're chinas, it's me

and my old mate the chief.

[It happens.

We'll see.

Here, what you in the big prison for, Sonny boy?

Letting off fireworks?

No.

Grievous bodily harm.

Oh, dear oh dear, g.B.H., hey?

I bet you are a big bad boy.

Was mummy very angry?

You just lay off me, or I'll punch your head in.

Ah.

You half nice when you're in a temper, rainbow.

Your eyes all light up.

Could be I'm just your pot of gold, eh?

Turn it up, toe rag.

Sorry, Matey.

Clumsy old me.

All right down there.

Let's have ya.

Raise the bodies, the siesta's over.

Red band, get the coffin ready.

Bracket, Dillon, get the cheese pie out and the bread.

Lang, a can of tea over here.

Right, mead, officer's mess trays.

Right.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Right, there we are, red band.

All right, move, away you go.

Lang.

Dillon, easy on the rice.

I said three muslims...

Did you get it all right, mouse?

Yeah.

Get what?

This tea we've nicked.

What are you gonna do, flog it?

Logic ain't it?

I told you he was the boy for the job.

But why didn't mott rumble it, when he counted the trays?

Look.

These are the meals for the cons

who work in the officer's mess.

There's seven cons over there

and we've got this card that says eight.

That leaves one for us lads to play with.

Nifty, ain't it?

Double nifty.

This tea's going to smooth tongue bertie.

A con and a dead-level merchant.

We get him tea, sugar, margarine and flour,

things like that, he bungs us back tobacco.

And all the kind of gear we never set eyes on.

Lovely gear, like eggs and tinned fruit

and all the real gear.

And what does smooth tongue bertie get out of this?

He's no mug, this rainbow, is he, mouse, eh?

He tumbles done he?

Everybody's got to 'ave a fiddle in the Nick.

And smooth tongue's fiddle is to feed it back

to the Fiddler who feeds the screws.

What could be more beautiful?

The screws eat our rubbish and we live like fighting cocks.

Are you in with us?

I don't know.

Look, rainbow.

I've had four years of this, ain't I?

And I ain't been caught yet.

We got this organised.

Plenty of smokes, plenty of good grub,

plenty of everything.

All right, I'm in.

Good lad.

# oh the wings, the wings of a dove #

# far away, far away #

# would I rove #

# oh for the wings #

# for the wings #

hello, bertie me lovely old sausage.

Still at the con-game?

This here's rainbow.

A new boy, but one of the chaps.

Well, glad you joined the club, rainbow.

I do wish red band, you'd refrain from calling me,

your lovely old sausage.

And kindly do not refer to me as a confidence trickster

just because I'm a friendly sort of bloke,

everybody susses me for a con-awk.

Well, I like that.

Especially when you're the man what sells three

of the best battle ships to the rajah of ratchipore

and got your collar felt trying to cash a check

for half a million crackles.

Half a million, I ask ya.

Hard man, the rajah.

Robert, be a good boy.

Nip up and see whether our man remembered

to order the eggs.

If he hasn't, tell him to make it six dozen.

Now, while I hate underhandedness,

what sort of underhanded gear have you got

in this little wooden box tonight, eh?

Tea, me old smooth tongue.

About a pound and a half

of her majesty's lovely prison gut wash.

First class, old chap, absolutely.

Now, in return, in the swill bin, unfortunately,

you'll find a spot of tobacco,

three eggs and a quarter of dairy butter.

Oh, lovely, bertie, ta.

Dairy butter.

Now then, er, I've got me eye on something

a bit out of the ordinary.

A whacking great gammon of bacon.

D'you think you could put that on the menu?

Oh, boiled bacon.

Yes, that would be nice.

I'd have to ask the men first though.

Oh, yeah.

How much d'you think it'll fetch?

Oh, he might go to four ounces.

Good.

Well that makes it interesting.

Now then, I've got to get in and knock one off quick

while they're still about.

Yes, of course you have.

So you want to get organised, don't ya?

Right, well, I'll see the man tonight.

Here!

I saw the man.

He said you told him six dozen.

He'd already ordered them.

Oh, did 1?

Well, I'm sorry, Robert.

Well, well ordering others.

Tata, bertie, see you then.

Bye bye, cons.

A whole gammon of bacon.

Yes, must do something with that.

Yeah, see what the man says.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Dirty screw.

Well, little mouse.

We'll show young rainbow our stock, shall we?

Show him how the wideos live in the Nick.

Clock the peephole, mouse.

Right-o.

Always on your toes, kid.

Me, I can feel the eye at the peephole.

E block, all correct, sir.

All correct, Mr. Murray.

All clear.

B block, all correct, sir.

All correct, Mr. Dean.

Chocolate, jam, hair cream.

Well, you're not with brokes, you know.

You're with the real chaps.

The lads of the village.

I told you, we live like fighting cocks.

I know you told me,

but I didn't expect anything like this.

Well, you can buy them all in the canteen.

I've got all sorts of merchants buying them for me.

They spend their little bits of wages

and I give them overvalue in baccy.

You declared yourself in.

You're in.

Have an allsort.

Soap, you want soap?

We've got soap.

Toilet-scented, the best.

We don't want you busting out in pimples now, do we?

That'll do your chops a bit of good, son.

Clock my old dial.

I used to have tired skin.

Now I've only got tired feet.

This is wonderful.

You'll roll them king-size from now on, rainbow.

Everything's king-size.

You've certainly got a king-size pile here,

don't they ever search the cells?

Turnovers?

All the time, they turn us over.

I got insurance, I pay.

The cell block red band gets wind of all the turnovers

and he's on my payroll.

Half an ounce of baccy a week.

After they search one Peter,

he pops in here and switches pillows.

Afterwards he switches them back again.

Half an ounce is expensive.

That's my whole weeks wages.

Well, it's gotta be expensive.

I've gotta pay well, ain't I?

Otherwise, he'd thieve the bleeding lot.

It's logic, ain't it?

There's one thing I don't understand, red band.

You've got all this stuff,

you're going out soon,

why bother about the gammon?

Oh, the old gammon, eh.

Yeah, well, I suppose the real reason

is that I'm a thief.

And that bit of bacon is a challenge

to my professional ability.

That is a lot of rot.

No, it ain't, of course not.

Look, every scrubby little con

who ever worked the kitchen has had it away

with the margarine and sugar,

but nobody ever pulled off a big deal

not that I've ever heard of, they didn't.

I wanna be the red band who goes to graft king-size.

I wanna go out of here with a big show.

A five-star performance.

If I was going out of here,

I wouldn't care if they took out in a dust cart.

It was a five-star performance that brought me in here.

He's a bit of a lad, ain't he, mouse, eh?

He is a bit of a lad, ain't he?

Here, you sure you're in here for g.B.H.?

You don't look like a man who carries the hammer to me.

It wasn't a hammer, mouse.

It was a knife.

Did you really use a knife?

I went for him and the knife just happened to be there.

Why, was he drinkin' your beer?

No, he was messing about with my girl.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, women.

They fiddle you about till you wind up inside,

don't they and then they're off.

No, I don't think it'll be like that.

I saw her after the trial.

She cried.

She said she was sorry and she'd wait for me.

Oh, yeah, they all wait.

Some of them.

It's logic, ain't it?

My old woman waited six months for me once.

'Course the man from the dry cleaners helped

to take her mind off things.

Here, mouse.

I wonder how much baccy it's cost

to get a big fat blonde smuggled in here.

Oh, leave off.

Mead, get a can of char on.

Rainbow, get the heat going under them coppers,

lively now before we all get frostbite

round our what-nots.

It's about time one of you hounds had a go

at this high diving act.

This is me snocker arm don't forget

and I soon gotta get cracking with it.

As long as it ain't wielding a shovel.

Oh, what a catch, what a catch.

That's a bit of the real gear, eh, mouse?

Get the hatchet out.

Rainbow, get the heat going under them coppers,

get the tea water boiled.

Get the porridge on the go.

Cut some bread and butter, mouse.

Nice and thin now.

None of them dirty old door steps of yours.

Lively now, give them plenty, one each.

Doesn't that look grand.

Boy, this is living ain't it?

I do love these eggs and bacon breakfasties.

Here, mouse, you ought to have been with me

that morning at the savoy grill.

We'd just knocked over a gaff in the strand

and we was loaded.

We was having the biggest feed you ever saw

in life, what a nosh.

Grapefruit, tomato juice,

kidneys and chops.

Them lovely old mushrooms and them big long,

skinny chips.

And the mulligan, you know mulligan, mouse.

Yeah.

He spots this here griffan de funy and we're all

has that as well.

Coo, wish I'd been there.

And our pockets was crammed with all that lovely money.

Did you get away with it?

Well, no.

But we was double unlucky.

If only mulligan hadn't got lumbered driving up

that one-way street, they'd never have caught us.

So all you got out of that was a good breakfast.

Well, yeah.

Well, that's the way it goes.

Sometimes you make a killing, strike it rich.

Other times, well, bang, you're in the Nick.

Do you think it's worth it, red band?

Oh, not working with mulligan.

We got knocked off that time

but when you don't get knocked off,

you're one of the chaps.

Stealing a lot of money's like winning a grand at the races.

You're the real kiddie.

The kiddie who was born to be rich.

Work?

Suckers.

You've got loot.

You're loaded.

From then on, it's life, sluts,

tiddly, larkhams, fast cars and sunshine, the lot.

There ain't no strangers, only friend.

Waiters, cloakroom sluts, the boy in the gents

with the soap and towel.

Work?

Suckers.

Your king-size, rainbow, king-size.

Grand, ain't it?

Course the day comes when the tanks knocked out.

Then the wheel turns the other way.

You're out in the rain again.

The sluts don't wanna know ya,

so it's be to the telly and the wife.

Then you start thinking of the next caper.

You gotta get back in the money again.

Now that's when you usually make a slip.

Here, mouse, I gotta remember that.

Never to pull a caper when me luck's running low.

Blimey, the heavy gang'll be here in a minute.

Stash that away, mouse.

Give the old porridge a stir up, rainbow,

there's a good lad.

Yes, Mr. mott.

Right.

Bracket, Dillon, get the cans up at the coppers.

Lang, get the margarine out.

Red band, tea bags.

Oh, dear.

I dunno.

What a game, ain't it, eh?

Big night, Mr. mott?

No.

Fell asleep in the chair with the paper.

I don't know how you stand the excitement.

Here, going out tonight though.

Pictures.

Mind you, I'd just as soon stay at home though.

It's the missus.

Her lover boy's on.

Her soul cries out for romance.

Who are you then, the lodger?

Oi, there are no lodgers in my gaff.

Hi.

Come on, then.

He's early this morning.

Morning, chief.

Morning.

- Morning, chief. - Morning.

What about the hospital diets?

Right away, chief.

Listen, tosh.

How would you like a nice ounce of snout?

All in one big fat lump?

You're joking.

How would I like to go home for Christmas.

No, straight.

Just a small favour.

For an ounce, I'd top the assistant governor.

All I want is a gammon of bacon.

Topping the governor would be easier.

That stuff's banged up in there,

tighter than a boy about to swing.

That's why I come to you.

I worked out you was the boy for the job.

A bright boy.

A bit of a shrewd nut.

Besides, I thought that maybe you could use an ounce.

I'm in dead trouble with a certain baron.

An ounce would straighten him.

And then I'm gonna strangle him.

Right.

B block, 98 diets.

Two muslims, one Jew, three diabetics,

four punishment diets.

Right, let's go, get cracking.

Give them plenty.

One each.

Devil's island.

Mind, dear.

Mind how you go.

Hold tight.

D'you mean to say this slut

had this you geezer bury this poor old boy

in this garden, just to get his money like?

Yeah.

Well, the old boy had begun to suss her.

Anyway, she'd already been to Brighton

with the young geezer.

No doubt, he'd bought her a stick

of the old Brighton rock.

Yeah, and a plate of cockles.

I bet she was a real right lump, eh, mott?

Oh, she was a darlin'.

You didn't tell the old woman that, did ya?

Are you kidding?

It was Saturday night.

I bet the bogies moved in though.

Yes, just as they were about

to get on the plane for Bermuda

with all the money.

They've always got to go

and spoil things ain't they?

What happened to the loot then, mott?

I'd like to know what happened to the slut.

Red band.

Rainbow.

Visitors.

Red band.

What about the knife, you wooden headed berk.

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

Yes, chief.

Do you want someone to cut their throat?

Go on, young sausage.

Tell her you love her.

How is it, Jim?

Not too bad.

What've you been doing with yourself?

Nothing special.

It's been pretty dull.

Lonely, really.

I've made a mess of things, haven't I?

We both have, Jim.

But maybe it's not all bad.

Why, what do you mean?

Well, I miss you.

I never knew it would be like...

Well, I miss you a lot.

I'm sorry, I was such a pig to you last time.

Oh, that's all right, Jim.

I tried a new hair rinse, do you think it looks nice?

Yes.

I brought you the Sunday papers.

I thought you'd like to see it.

Er, oh how about Alfie then?

Well, I cut it out specially.

Gawd knows what I've done with it.

It's a friend of mine.

He's called red band, we're in the same cell.

It's very hot in here.

How'd you like my new dress?

I bought it in a sale.

It's the first time I've worn it, Jim.

It's just the thing for prison visiting.

I thought you'd like it.

I wanted to look nice.

You're not going to be lonely long in that.

I bought it for the dance this evening.

That's fine.

You go out dancing, while I'm in here.

Who's your partner or are you taking pot luck.

What do you expect me to do?

Shave off my hair or something?

Let's pack it in, shall we?

I can't stand eight months of this,

not knowing what's happening.

It doesn't matter that I've made all

the arrangements to get married.

I worked out the day you'd be released.

A white wedding and I wouldn't have been cheating.

Maybe I did play about before, Jim.

But it was only because...

Well, I was never sure of you.

Do you mean that?

It could be a white wedding.

I'd like that.

Sorry, gents, time please.

It won't be long now, me old Gracie, will it?

One more visit and I'll have me feet back

on the mantel piece again.

Yes, dear.

And, you haven't forgotten what I want

for breakfast that morning.

No, dear.

The same as you always have when you come out.

- Jellied eels. - Lovely.

Here.

Oh, come along, jenks.

- Tata, then. - Tata, dear.

I'll leave it to you to see him to the kitchen, red band.

Right.

Well, lead on.

Here, that's a real right piece you've got hold

of there, rainbow.

Course, my old lump ain't off no chocolate box

but she ain't a bad old sausage though.

You ain't forgot you owe me snout have you, Matey?

No, I haven't.

Course that wouldn't be good.

Would it, Matey?

You'll get it on Thursday, all right.

I mean, I wouldn't like to you found in some dark corner

with your face all bashed in.

And you know ['ve got the boys who'll do it.

Don't you, Matey?

It's the people they meet when they're in prison, dear.

Once they've been inside, you know,

they're never the same.

Oh, I've tried to change him, tried all sorts of ways.

I even left him once, it didn't do no good.

You see, they never mean to go back

but somehow they always do.

Oh, it's different with Jim.

It's not as if he'd stolen anything.

Well, what I meant is, he's only in now

because he was silly and lost his temper.

And I suppose it was as much my fault as his.

Anyway, I'm sure he'll never go back.

Well, let's hope so, dear, eh?

You see, Jim's never been in any real trouble before

besides he's got a good job.

Oh, well if he's got a job to go back to,

he should be all right then.

Well, I suppose they'll take him back.

All correct, red band?

Yes, sir.

Well, now, let's make sure.

Lid off.

We must make sure there are no burglars

lurking around anywhere.

Yes, sir.

We don't want any thieves and vagabonds

knocking about the gaff, do we, sir?

No.

All right, get fell in.

I wanna get home tonight.

I got a mother who loves me.

And only a mother could.

Look at him.

Must I?

All clean, sir.

Goodnight, Mr. mott.

Goodnight, sir.

All right, left turn, lead on.

Got your teas all right, red band?

Yes, sir.

Well, goodnight, don't be late in the morning.

They'll see to that, won't they, sir.

Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, red band.

Goodnight, Mr. mott.

Right, who says eats.

Waggle your ear at the gates, rainbow,

if you hear anything, bar the cockroaches,

sing out loud and clear.

Loud and clear.

Here's a bit of the real gear, mousey mate.

This'll make you cry out in the night.

Yeah, in agony.

I'll cut you off a nice rump steak.

A double helping of this and you'll be able

to tear your way out of here with your bare hands.

It looks like a ruptured Wellington boot.

Never you mind that.

You just chop some chips and keep your eye on that.

If ever they find that old bayonet

and tie it onto us, we'll grow old here

in the Nick together.

Evening, Willis.

Evening, sir.

Many receptions tonight?

17, sir.

They've all been bathed and settled in.

17, eh?

And only six releases.

At this rate, I shall have to put c block three to a cell.

Yes, sir.

And that wouldn't be too good.

We've got the cream in c block, sir.

I know.

But what can you do?

Where to now, sir?

Let's see what's cooking in the kitchen.

Lovely.

How the chips going, mouse?

All a-crackling and a-bubbling.

If only that judge at the old Bailey could see me now.

"You will go to prison for six years," he said.

"Where you will be taught a trade

"that will enable you to take up a useful place in society."

Me in society.

Sill I'll be able to cook me own steak and chips.

Should you ever have steak and chips to cook.

But I'll be in society, mate.

Quick, someone's coming.

Quick, mouse.

Good evening, sir.

Evening, red band.

Everything under control?

All present and correct, sir.

Just cooking the boys a bit of supper, sir.

Hmm, yes, looks rather nice.

Always keep the bread in here, sir.

The mice, you know.

Yes, yes, good idea.

Well.

Carry on the good work.

Yes, sir.

Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight.

Recreation hall.

Right, men, you heard what the governor said,

carry on with the good work.

Ah, look at me lovely chips,

all gone soggy.

Cocoa, lovely hot cocoa.

Cocoa.

All right, Brady, get your cocoa.

Cocoa, come and get it.

Cocoa, lovely hot cocoa.

Scrub up, boys.

I don't know about that.

I reckon we ought to leave them dirty.

One old merchant said the porridge tasted better

with a drop of cocoa left in it.

Said it gave it the old nut milk flavour.

Well then, where is it?

Where's me doings?

There in the desk, tomo.

Here, there was 114 in that a block tonight.

Are they breeding them up there?

Oh, they keep coming back.

I don't know why.

I do.

It's this lovely hot chocolate of mine.

It draws them, they can't resist it.

I reckon you'd never drink

that lovely hot chocolate of yours, would ya?

Drink it?

I wouldn't even wash me feet in it.

I reckon gangrene would set in

before I could get me socks back on.

Yeah and I reckon gangrene's set in here long ago.

Here, let's have a decko at your linen, tomo,

just for a minute.

Why?

Do you want the Stanford bridge results, eh?

Yeah.

All right, here you are.

The first favourite got beat and the next three went in,

one after the other.

Ooh, that's handy.

I had five roll ups all the favourites

and half ounce treble to second, third and last.

Well, the last one got beat six to four on.

It's in the stop press.

Oh, bang goes me treble then.

Ol, what this here how's your father then?

Oh, the specialty of the house.

Take one sack of oats, add water to taste,

stir well and and serve piping hot for breakfast

in dirty great dollops and don't the rascals love it.

They can't get enough of it.

How come then we get more back in the swill bins

than we send out.

They're overfed.

Ah, ready.

All together now.

A-one, a-two, a-three.

# round and round went the ruddy great wheel #

# in and out went the blades of steel #

# till at last the screws all cried #

# enough, enough, we're satisfied #

# till at last the screws all cried #

# enough, enough, we're satisfied #

All right, for your spare bread, red band?

All right, hurry up and hop it quick.

A block, all correct, sir.

Here, mouse, remember johnstone went out three weeks ago?

Johnstone?

Johnstone?

Yeah, you know, Dipper johnstone.

Used to work with the whizz mob.

Oh, yeah, one of the old school.

He's back with a cockle, 10 of the best.

Preventative detention this time.

Poor old, Dipper.

What's preventative detention?

You're banged away for 10 years.

No remission.

It's too awful even to think about.

Well, Dipper was always unlucky.

He's too high in the handicap now.

Once you're carrying a bit of form these days,

you're under the whip.

A few convictions and the old man

with the wig starts counting from 10.

Is it really so hard...

Well, you're going out soon, red band and...

What you on about?

Will it be hard for me to stay out?

If it's like what you told me and the mouse,

about what you're doing bird for,

I mean, I should say you've got chances.

But you take the mouse here.

He's a tip toe, a screwsman.

So when he leaves, the first bogie who clasps eyes on him

is going to, "oi, oi, the mouse is about again."

The word'll buzz, the vine's will whisper

and half the law in London'll

have their lamps working time and a half.

Yeah, it's right dodgy.

But who's book are you in?

Except perhaps the yokels

what put the clutches on you this time.

I can't stop thinking about the outside.

Wendy, and the job and everything.

Well, that don't make you different.

Most of us are only dreaming perhaps

but nobody thinks about the Nick when they're in it,

only of being out of it.

Why is it that so many seem to land themselves back

before they've been out five minutes,

like this bloke johnstone.

Ah, well, johnstone was a goal down from the start,

a known criminal.

Like when I drift out, they'll all be alive-o, won't they?

"Allo," they'll say, "is he working?"

"No, put him on the visiting list.”

They start clocking me and that's me lot.

It's them stamps that beat you every time.

There's none on your briefs.

And why?

Believe me, ain't nobody gonna say, old rainbow's all right.

They're gonna say, he's out of the Nick.

Give him the bent elbow.

You know what the worst thing

with coming in the Nick is?

Leaving it.

You're sent out with a dollar or three half a crowns.

My first time I had one and threepence.

So you're scratching already.

You got nothing.

Supposing you did have a job to go to,

your gear shouts ex-con.

Once you start tapping fags, and sneaking looks

at other people's sandwiches, it don't take 'em long

to fit you in, dead right.

Then you can collect your old picture cards

and get back to the palace of varieties,

the old labour exchange, you're free for work again.

But where?

And at what?

So the whip cracks fair don't it?

Well, it cracks.

And where are you?

Tied to the railway lines by the sound of it.

Yeah, you are tied to the railway lines

but it ain't impossible.

It's been done.

They climbed Everest but it wasn't easy.

In big gold letters, it wasn't easy.

You don't like the Nick, nobody likes it, do they.

That ain't enough, you gotta hate it.

You've gotta hate a whole lot more

than the boys that are doing seconds.

You take the mouse, here.

He don't like it.

He don't like being banged away in this Peter every night

with no other lavatory than a pot.

A pot, stinking away under his nose all night.

Then there's slopping out in the morning.

That's a fine thing ain't it?

A performance.

10 or 20 stinking monkeys carrying their pots

of mysteries along to empty.

10 or 20 stinking pots all in a line.

A chain of human sewerage.

The line of pot carriers.

You know anyone shoving to queue to get in that line?

Nobody on earth likes a thing like that.

No, I don't like that.

Then why do you keep coming back in here?

[T ain't so easy when you're carrying form.

You ain't had it rough yet, rainbow boy.

You're one of the chaps.

You ain't been busted right down.

You ain't slept with the brokes in a lousy flop

and woke up with bugs crawling over your face.

Somehow it don't seem so important then

whether you're inside or out.

Sorry, mouse.

That's all right.

You need breaks to stay out

and if they don't come, it roughs up.

You be mouse, when he follows a job

that's been running loose,

they say, "we're sorry, Mr. mouse,

"the sign should've been taken down.”

The sign stays up and you stay down.

Or it's, "what a pity, Mr. mouse,

"we certainly could've used you last week."

"Sorry, Mr. mouse."

"No, Mr. mouse."

"Hard luck, Mr. mouse."

Then the old pot looms up again,

more like an old friend in fact.

The old pot might stink, might disgust,

but it's a silent pot.

It don't take the Mickey and it don't laugh back.

I guess everyone has their pot to carry

but the time comes when the pot's carrying mouse.

Don't worry.

You'll stay out, all right.

It's logic ain't it?

Just be sure you're always trying

and when the humpty times comes,

don't get caught with your trousers down,

get up front early and stay there.

Slop out, on the double.

Your turn today, mouse.

No, it's all right, I'll do it.

Cop bracket.

Here's the down payment and if we lift

that gammon today, you're on wages.

Yeah.

Right-0, bracket, it's all yours.

Careful, red band!

It's all this...

All right, chief?

All right, now, get these cans insides.

Come on, you lot, in there again.

Come on, get cracking.

Hey, where are you slipping off to?

Red band?

Red band, come back here.

Red band, what's your game?

What are you trying to sneak out in there?

Sneak out, sir?

It's the dirty laundry, sir.

I know all about dirty laundry.

Come on, let's have it tipped out.

Come on, hurry up.

Well, I just wanted to have a look.

Baskets always arouse my curiosity.

- Quite right, sir. - Yes, sir.

Well, haven't you finished yet?

You lazy, loafing layabouts.

Mr. mott, let's have them inside.

Right, sir.

All right, come on, inside.

Right now, lang.

Let's have a clean up, shall we?

But in the bowls, not on the floor!

Rainbow, what are you doing with that swiill,

you know where it goes.

Dillon, get that cabbage up there.

Give them plenty today.

One each.

# oh dear, what can the matter be #

all right, bertie?

Anybody about?

No, I told Robert he looked a bit queer,

sent him off to see the quack.

Oh, good.

Here she is then, pretty as a picture.

Oh, my word, yes, that is a fine specimen.

My man will be pleased.

Have you got the loot then?

The snout?

I've gotta move fast.

Oh, yes, yes, of course, right away.

- Manners. - Oh.

Red band, we're running rather short of sugar

if you could oblige us, my man would be most grateful.

Yeah.

I gotta blow now, see you, bertie.

Tata.

Oh, delicious.

- Cook house. - Over here.

- Turned out nice again? - Yeah.

It's all go, ain't it?

Yeah, you're right.

You been eating pork again, mead?

Pork, sir?

No, sir.

Only you seem to have a lot of pig bristles

around your chin today.

Don't you want to inspect it, chief?

I'll inspect you in a minute.

It's baskets leaving in the kitchen

that I'm interested in.

Oh.

Cop this.

It's not bad enough me doing me porridge ordinary,

they have to give me chores that will sadden

me poor heart as well.

Don't worry, me old lovely.

You've only got another three years to go.

It's all right for you.

Not many short day from now,

you'll be in hennessy's bair,

supping a beautiful foaming glass of stout

and your man here'll be seeing it through.

You shouldn't have been a naughty sausage, should you?

Oh, how I wish I hadnna done it.

- Today's dinner, sir. - Hmm.

Hmm, very nice, chief.

Thank you, sir.

Now, open your gob, goat.

Go on, open it!

Now if you ever so much as come near me again,

they'll have to stitch you up.

You got that, goat?

Just stay away from me.

I see you got paid, goat.

You can laugh, red band.

But I ain't forgetting nothing I owe you.

You fall down just once, that's all.

And I'll tread my boot in your bleedin' face.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes, chief, everything seems to be all right.

Thank you, sir.

Well, I'll let you get on, chief.

Thank you, sir.

Good morning.

Mr. mott!

Sir?

How many gammon's have you got in the cold room?

Nine, sir.

No, you haven't, you've got eight.

But I counted them in myself, sir.

Red band, come on, double up.

Have you seen a gammon of bacon

anywhere outside the cold room?

Me, sir?

No, sir.

May I go blind if I have.

Are you sure of that?

May I be paralysed.

May I drop stone dead, sir.

Right.

Everyone up.

All right then, come on, jump about,

everybody up here.

On the quick, come on, lively now!

Red band, the fish fryer.

Come on, next one.

All right, hot plates.

All right, give me that.

Out of the way.

All right, mott, look in the cistern.

Right, sir.

Empty that.

Come on, move!

Empty that too.

All right, come on, come on.

Get the bloody plug out, red band.

What do you know about this, red band?

Nothing, sir.

I suppose you know nothing about this either?

Or this?

All right, empty this one.

Get back in the line!

Quick, chief, the red band, he's got a knife in his shirt.

Red band, stand where you are.

Keep your hands down by your side.

Mr. mott, look inside his shirt.

Here it is, chief.

Nasty looking weapon.

Take him to his cell, bang him up

and put him on report.

But, chief, I've only got a few days to go.

Don't run me, give us a break.

You're in prison.

A convicted man.

You go by the rules.

Please, chief.

Take him away, Mr. mott.

Come on.

Grass.

You'll get sliced for this, goat.

Lang, clear these shelves.

Mr. mott.

Ah, so that's the way it went.

Yes.

I'll bring the red band before the governor in the morning.

I'll charge him with being in possession

of the knife.

I can't prove that he stole the gammon

so I'll proceed with the more serious charge.

Yes, that's the best way, sir.

Now, you get on to these others hard.

Give them plenty of stick.

Lots of shouting.

I want them working harder now

than they've ever worked before.

I'm going to show them that crime doesn't pay

inside a prison anymore than it does outside.

You leave it to me, chief.

Right!

You nasty lot of slag heaps.

Now you're really gonna work.

I want this place cleaned up immediately.

Spotless!

Spotless I want it.

Like Buckingham Palace.

Now, you're gonna find out who's the governor around here.

Bracket, get that table scrubbed.

Scrubbed white.

I'll show you that it doesn't pay

to make a fool out of me.

Dillon, go and get the veg back in the tanks.

Go on, on the double.

On the jumping double!

Lang, get everything back on the shelves.

(Go on, get moving.

Rainbow, mead, start scrubbing the floor.

Lots of soap and water.

Plenty elbow-bending.

Scrub, scrub, scrub.

And remember, everybody,

you're doing the legging around here, not me.

You're gonna be sorry for this.

Nobody's gonna make a fool out of me.

Certainly not a mess of dirty stinking convicts!

What's gonna happen to red band, mouse?

The governor.

Then the visiting magistrate.

After that, solitary and punishment diet.

'Course, he lose his remission.

The whole two years?

I expect so.

It's logic ain't it.

Having a knife in the Nick is serious.

Lead on.

Halt.

Right, speak up, man.

Name and number.

7/145, jenks, sir.

You are charged with being in possession

of a knife contrary to prison rules

in that at approximately 15:30 hours yesterday

in the prison kitchen, the said knife

was found concealed on your person,

under your shirt.

Is that true, jenks?

Yes, sir.

How did you come by the knife?

I found it during a turnover, sir.

A search.

It was in the potatoes trough.

Chief Bailey ordered the search?

Yes, sir.

What did you assume you were searching for?

I didn't know, sir.

And yet when you found the knife,

you deliberately concealed it?

Yes, sir.

Why?

I was going out in a few days, sir.

And there I was all of a sudden with a knife in me hand.

I went all hot and cold, sir.

I thought if I get lined up alongside this lot,

bang goes me remission.

I see.

And if you had not been detected,

what did you propose to do with the knife?

Sling it, sir.

Get rid of it.

What would I want if for?

I was due for release.

A great many men in here would seize

upon the opportunity of obtaining such a weapon.

It's just possible that you were going

to pass it on to one of these men.

I wouldn't do that, sir.

You know that.

Straighten your back up, man!

I only know that you're a criminal, jenks

and you're serving a long term of imprisonment.

You've broken the rules

and you have no reasonable explanation.

No, sir.

You know, of course, that your date of release

is subject to remission for good behaviour?

Yes, sir.

Very well.

In view of the serious nature of the matter,

I am left with no other choice than

to recommend that you be seen

by the visiting magistrates.

In the meantime, you will relinquish all privileges.

Yes, sir.

Remove your band.

Place it on the desk.

That will be all.

About turn.

Lead on.

Take him back to the cell.

Awaiting visiting magistrate.

Hmm, I thought he was doing well.

That we'd made a good trusty out of him.

It's hard to know, sir, whether they're changing

for the better or just biding their time,

waiting to have a crack back at us.

Mostly, they only let you see what they want you to see.

Well, once in a while we do pull it off.

C block, 109 diets.

Two muslims, one Jew, three diabetics,

four punishment diets.

Right.

Get back.

Mr. mott, make out an accident report.

Qutside, governor's office.

Visiting magistrates, already?

Never mind about that, come on.

Move yourself, outside.

Come in.

Jenks, sir.

Lead on.

7/145, jenks, sir.

Yes.

Well, I have some good news for you, jenks.

In view of further evidence that's been brought

to my notice, I've decided to accept your statement,

you knew nothing about the knife until you found it.

And that you acted as you did in a moment of panic.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Thank you very much indeed.

Yes.

I was as surprised as you are.

In all my experience of prisons,

no man has ever before volunteered an admission of guilt.

Admission of guilt?

You mean somebody's said they planted the knife?

Yes.

Who was that, sir?

I'm afraid I can't tell you that, jenks.

It's enough that they have

and that you're now in the clear.

Still, it's very handy, sir, ain't it.

Hmm.

It means I'll be going out next Thursday, don't it?

Yes.

I see you haven't asked the after care people

to find you a job.

Oh, no, sir.

I hope that doesn't mean you're coming back here, jenks.

Oh, no, sir.

I've got a pal who works in the mint, sir

and he's put me name down for a very fair old number.

Hmm, I shall be quite sorry to see you go, red band.

I shall miss all those savoury smells floating

about the kitchen, when I come around in the evening.

I don't get you, sir.

You think about it.

You will.

Well, I shall be seeing you before you leave, jenks.

Take him back to the kitchen.

About turn.

Lead on.

One on, chief.

So you're back again, are you?

Yes, sir.

Right.

You'd better get over there and help mead.

Come on, get moving!

Oh, it's grand to see you, mate.

Thought you'd fell right in it.

Yeah, I thought I had and all.

Here, where's the screws friend lang-the-grasshopper?

Old shag nasty?

Oh, he's in the sickbay, ain't he?

Yeah, old lang had a nasty little accident dinner time.

A can of floating duff, red hot it was,

went right over both his legs.

He didn't half scream, he did.

Funny, I thought he would.

So lang copped it, eh?

How did it happen?

Nobody knows really.

It seems that all the boys were around at the time.

Then they disappeared, quick and quiet like.

I reckon it was this here poetic justice like, don't you?

How near were you then?

Can't rightly say.

We was all there.

Cut out the chat.

I'm the only orator round here.

You haven't come back

to lay about all over the place, red band.

I mean, jenks.

Things have changed.

You make one mistake and I'll run ya.

And I'll make it stick.

- Right? - Yes, mott.

Mr. mott.

Here, they haven't lumbered rainbow

for scalding lang have they?

Ooh, no, he wasn't even here.

It's buzzed he asked to see the (governor.

He went and ain't been back.

Course, rainbow.

This way, miss.

What's happened?

Nothing terrible.

Why are we caged in like this?

They're not gonna hang me.

You haven't hit anyone, have you?

No, of course not.

Look, we haven't got very much time, Wendy.

Let's talk about things that matter.

It's just that I'm worried.

But I expect I'm making a fuss about nothing.

Yes, of course you are.

Worst that could happen is

that I'll be a little late coming out.

Late?

Yes.

Wendy...

You've lost your remission?

That's nothing, is it?

You take it all as if it's some kind of a joke.

You almost seem to be like being in prison.

Wendy, you know that's not true.

All I know is that we're supposed to be getting married.

We still will.

We'll just have to wait a little longer, that's all.

Does it?

Or does it mean a little longer sentence for you each time?

A little longer for me to try and make ends meet.

A little longer for us to grow to hate each other.

Believe me, Wendy, I won't come back here.

Oh, they all come back.

But at least most of them come out before finding trouble.

You didn't even do that.

You had to find it in here.

No.

I'm sorry.

Wendy.

Wendy.

Come along, mate.

Could I have another tea, please?

Yes, ma'am.

I was wondering if you'd come today.

Did you see your chap?

How did it go?

I hope you had a nice visit?

Thank you.

Oh, I had a lovely visit.

I don't know whether it was because it was the last time

but it seemed as though something nice was gonna

happen for a change.

I'm glad.

He seemed different, some how.

Yes, he was different.

He said it wasn't much of an existence

with him keeping in and out of the Nick.

He said he was gonna have a crack

at staying out this time.

And how many times has he said that?

Ooh, loads of times.

And do you still believe him?

Yes, I believe him.

This time it seems as though he really meant it.

Well, I hope for your sake he does.

It'll be nice to think someone's happy.

What's the matter, dear?

I don't know.

Everything seem such a mess.

Oh, I know how you feel.

The first time you're dying to see him,

it's almost exciting.

After that, it seems as though

you're serving out the sentence with them.

Yes, you're right, but you can't help wondering

if they're worth it.

Worth it?

It makes no difference if they're worth it.

If he's your man, he's your man.

And your problem.

Well, I'm afraid,

it's the kind of problem I'm going to turn in.

You're not giving up your chap, are you?

Oh, you mustn't let things get you down.

Last time you were the pessimistic one.

You said they always come back.

Yes, I did, didn't I.

You know what he told me today?

You'd never believe this.

You know he was supposed to be coming out on Friday,

well he very nearly didn't.

He as in dead trouble.

There was a little mob of them up to some villainy

and my bill got lumbered with it.

Oh, but he was stone lucky.

This mate of his, young sausage he called him,

kidded the governor, it was all his fault.

Young sausage?

Yeah, he's a lad, ain't he?

Oh, I'm so glad I came.

I nearly didn't.

I felt more like going home and turning the gas on.

Here, have a cigarette.

Oh, thanks.

Go on, make your miserable life happy.

Now you will go and see him again, won't you?

Yes.

I will now.

A drop more hot in number three, please.

You'll get it hot if you don't hurry up.

Your releasers are all the same, wanna make a meal of it.

Anybody think it had to last till you got back.

Oh, you naughty warder.

I'll give you naughty warder.

Now two minute, you've got two minutes.

Now come on, hurry it up the lot of ya.

Come on.

- Here, tomo. - Yeah?

Seriously, could I tap you for a small favour before I go?

I know your favours.

You probably wanna borrow the governor's car

to take you to home.

No, straight.

This means a lot to me.

'Sides, I am your favourite prisoner, ain't 1?

Well, if it ain't against the rules,

I might think about it.

Well, I was just wondering if you might see your way clear

to stopping by at the punishment block on the way out.

The punishment block?

Blimey!

Well, I've got a pal over there, see

and he's sort of special.

He did me a small favour and well,

I'd like to nip in and thank him

and say tata before I go.

You'd like to see me do that now wouldn't you, tomo?

Well, I dunno.

No, no, it's a bit dodgy.

Here, you haven't forgotten

all those nice sandwiches I bunged you, have ya?

All right, I'll tell you what I'll do,

I'll take you over, but it's up to mullins to let you in.

Fair enough, tomo.

A few minutes and that's all.

And mind you, one stroke out of place

and I'll run you so fast it'll take you a week

for you to get your breath back.

Sure, Bob, ta.

Not so much of the Bob.

Mr. mullins to you.

Oh, yes, Mr. mullins.

You're looking very smart, red band.

I oughta be in here not you.

Sly walks to the governor's office,

making out the knife was yours,

making out you was a real tearaway.

You found out then?

Well, I didn't need a deerstalker

and a pipe did I.

'Sides, who else would've done it?

You know nobody ever did anything like that for me.

Four months against two years seemed to make good sense.

It seems like more than that to me.

I can do porridge on me nut, you know that.

Being a first offender,

I may not lose even the whole four months.

I'd thought about going to the governor,

telling him you was only romancing

like little old stories.

But as I saw it, you might a still been in it

and maybe worse.

And maybe mouse and smooth tongue

would've fell in for some sorrow as well.

It's the best way then, isn't it?

When the day comes, you should've gone out,

it's gonna cut in deep.

It's only a little time.

After all, I was in on it too.

Yeah, on a dead lumber.

There is something you could do, red band.

What's that then?

Don't come back in here.

This would be a bit pointless then, wouldn't it?

Oh, you mean you doing extra bird

so that I can be gone and me getting another legging

would mean you'd done it for nothing like?

Yes, that's right.

And not only for the time I'm in here.

For all time.

Funny, ain't it.

My old Gracie's always carrying on like you.

Go straight and all that lark.

I never took much notice of her like.

But, I guess she's right.

I guess you and her are the shrewd nuts.

You see, these filthy holes aren't for...

Well, for people, red band.

And your people, and mouse and some of the others.

Their cancerous.

Cancerous, eh?

Yeah, I reckon you're right there.

I reckon you're bang right.

But when you've been inside enough times,

when you ain't inside it's like as if it was calling you

like you belong in the Nick.

The more times you come in the more it'll be like that.

When the judge says, "12 years preventative detention,"

well, that's it, then your place will be here,

you'll feel it.

Well it'll be so.

Remember all that moody I give you

about winning a grand, sluts, tiddly

and larkhams wasn't it.

Well only once did I ever win a grand and lived.

But there was lots of times when I was one of the brokes.

Then it was old tarts, flops and fag-ends.

Yes, I know.

Yeah.

I think maybe I will have that straight game.

I think maybe I will.

No bending.

All the time, straight.

Good.

Remember what the mouse said,

"when the humpty time comes, don't get caught

"with your trousers down.

"Get up in front and stay there."

Good old mouse, eh?

Come on, jenks, break it up.

Sure, Mr. mullins.

Well, I'd like you to know

that I think you're one of the chaps.

King-size, in fact.

You're only saying that because you mean it.

No, straight.

Oh, oh, yeah, that's logic ain't it.

Here, I hope it turns out all right with you and your Judy.

I hope so.

Well, bye, red band.

You old sausage.

Come along now, jenks.

D'you know what, tomo?

I feel as sick as a cucumber.