Original subtitles

- Your waffle's ready, honey.

- Mmm. - [sneezes]

- You know what, I'll just have a banana.

- Come on. It's still good.

[sneezes]

I'm so sorry.

I think I'm coming down with a cold.

- Morning, guys. - [farts]

- Phoebe!

- That wasn't me. [farts]

- Okay, now you're just gross. - I told you it wasn't--

Max, did you change my ring tone?

[cell phone plays fart sound]

- I upgraded your smartphone to a fartphone.

You can thank me later.

- How about I thank you now?

Why must you people ruin my breakfast?

- Honey, who's texting you this early?

- It's Cherry.

She's reminded me about Ditch Day.

- Oh, I loved Ditch Day. Skipping school, having fun...

- [clears throat]

- And then hours of regret,

realizing I missed an entire day of learning.

- Don't worry. I'm not gonna let Ditch Day

ruin my lifetime of perfect attendance.

- [coughs] Nerd.

Sorry, coughed during that.

You're a nerd.

- Tell me that when I'm at Hero University,

and you're still living in our parents' basement,

talking to rabbits.

- Max, you're not planning on ditching school, are you?

- [coughs] He is.

Sorry, I coughed during that.

He is.

A bunch of kids are going skateboarding.

- And I'm not gonna be a part of that.

Not this guy, no way.

- Do we believe him?

- I choose to. It makes life easier.

- [sneezes]

- All right, let's get you to bed,

before you ruin lunch.

- Mm-hmm.

- Really?

You're going to school on Ditch Day? - Yeah, right after I paint the house.

See ya, nerd.

- Have fun ice skating.

- I'm skateboarding. - Not anymore.

[exhales] - Oh, no!

[thud]

- Later, skater.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we've livin' our lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- All right.

Got my music, my magazine, my scented pillow.

- Oh, thanks, I'll take that,

for my bruised butt.

- What are you doing here? I thought you were ditching.

- So did I, until I double-checked my skip days,

and realized if I get one more absence,

I have to go to summer school.

I can't go to summer school.

I can barely make it through winter school.

- Did you see how empty this place is?

I thought there'd at least be teachers here.

It's kind of creepy.

- ♪ Sittin' on a chicken all day long ♪

♪ Strummin' a banjo hummin' a song ♪

- No, that's creepy.

- Cheese and crackers!

You scared me.

What are you two doing here?

- I'm here because I want perfect attendance.

I can't speak for him. But if I did, it would sound like,

"Doy, doy, doy, doy."

- Well, this is a treat.

I was gonna spend the day

looking at pictures of my birds.

But since you're here,

we can all look at pictures of my birds.

- Actually, Ms. Williams, as the school secretary, you could just mark us here for the day,

and we could all leave.

- Oh, heavens no.

If I let you go and you get mowed down

by a bus, that's on me.

Now, this little troublemaker's name

is Canary Underwood.

Here's all of us at Whipper Willy Nelson's

birthday party.

Notice the worm-shaped cake--

Whipper Willy's idea.

- That's it.

I can't take this anymore.

[exhales]

- Max, what are you doing? - Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you wanna hear Whipper Willy's wish

when he blew out his candles?

To get away from her!

- You can't just go around freezing people.

We could get discovered.

- And here's Whipper Willy's half birthday.

Birds can live till their 80.

Well, you'll see.

- No, we won't.

- Nice freeze, Pheebs.

So what do you wanna do?

- I'm just gonna sit here

and have a little Phoebe time.

- Oh, come on.

The school's empty.

Let's go have some fun.

We never have any fun.

- We had fun that week your mouth was wired shut.

Just go ahead. I'm good here.

- Fine.

Have fun sitting on a chicken all day long.

- Max!

I am not gonna let him bait me. I am not gonna let him bait me.

I'm not gonna-- oh, that's it!

Max!

- A snowball in school?

How did he do it?

- Max, you've gotta watch out.

Someone might see you using your powers.

- There's no one here.

Which is a real shame, 'cause they're missing this.

- [sighs]

You wanna have fun, Max?

[exhales]

How's this for fun?

Eat snow.

- Wow. Nice shot. - Thank you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Aah, Max!

Max!

Ow!

- [chuckles] Oh!

[both laugh]

Hey, you didn't make your snowballs

out of toilet water, did you?

- Just this one.

Smile.

[click]

- Do not post that. - Really?

Don't post this where everyone can see us

using our powers?

- That, and I told everyone you weren't my sister.

Hey, wasn't today apple pie day?

- [scoffs] Please.

I am not gonna break into the cafeteria, and steal-- - They have ice cream.

- Race you there!

- What are you kids doing?

- We're gonna watch a movie.

What are you doing?

- Well, since your mother's not feeling well,

I'm gonna watch a film.

That's a movie for grown-ups.

- Yes!

"Space Kitties" it is.

- Ah, "Space Kitties?"

- I guess you won't be needing this.

- Barb, the little ones are sassing me again!

- Hank, just come watch the movie

up here with me-- [sneezes]

All: Gross.

- "Space Kitties" it is.

Both: "Space Kitties!"

- Why don't you go see if your brother and sister wanna suffer through this gem with me?

- Billy in the hole!

- Do not eat my popcorn.

Whee!

- I'm not afraid of her.

Maybe I'll just wait till she gets back.

- Whee!

- Whee! - Oh, not again!

[both grunt]

- Wait. Why are you and Max hanging out?

- Yeah, and not fighting.

- You see it too?

Good. I thought I was losing it.

- We actually had fun today.

- Yeah, it turns out if no one else

is at school, Phoebe's all right.

- Anyhow, we were getting along.

Look.

- Snow? In school?

No way. Pic pic.

- A pic pic?

- Yeah. It's a picture of a picture.

- That's not a thing.

- Then how did I just do it?

- What's that, up there on the wall?

- Yeah, Max, what is that?

Oh, no, is that...

- It is. - A security camera?

- The school got a pic pic of you?

See, Nora, it's catching on.

- No, this is bad.

This is really, really bad.

You see, this is what happens

when I have fun with you.

- Okay, everyone just relax.

Yes, the camera caught us using our superpowers.

But this is an easy fix, all right?

We just break into the school--

- Break into the school?

- Look, the school records say that the security footage is kept in the principal's office.

- Oh, so now we're also

breaking into the principal's office?

- Fun, right? Both: Yeah!

- No, not fun.

- I miss Snowball Phoebe. - [sighs]

- Look, these are simple hard drives.

And we're going to erase them with this baby.

- What's that, a magic wand?

- I'm not a magician.

- That's exactly what a magician would say.

- It's a degausser magnet.

And we're gonna use it to erase the security footage

in the principal's office.

- Sounds like a heist.

We want in.

- Me too.

I'll take out the guards.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. No one's taking out anyone.

We don't need your help.

- But we're superheroes.

We need action.

Billy is getting soft.

- Max, where did you get this moisturizer?

- That's my scab ointment.

- Whatever it is, it's fantastic.

- Look, if you guys wanna help,

you can just cover for us.

Tell Mom and Dad we're going to the mall.

- Ooh, Mom and Dad. Can I take them out?

- No!

You have got to get that rabbit under control.

- Don't worry. I'm getting us on that heist.

But first, we're gonna need a pic pic.

-I'd give you a high-five,

but this stuff's starting to burn.

- This goes against everything I believe in.

- Breaking in?

- No, going to school twice in one day.

Now, if one of us senses trouble,

the code word is "porcupine."

- Porcupine, got it.

- All right. Watch and learn, Phoebe.

Breaking and entering requires the delicate touch

of a surgeon and the technical know-how of--

- It's already open.

- I loosened it for ya.

- Figured out why the door is open.

[country music]

- Country Western Dancing Club?

At our school? - We gotta get out of here before someone sees us.

- Too late.

You two are busted.

- Hedgehog. Uh, opossum.

Armadillo?

- Porcupine?

- That's the one.

- I know exactly why you two are here.

- Okay, so you know our secret.

Just please don't tell anyone.

Our parents will be so mad at us.

- For liking a good hoedown?

- No for-- loving a good hoedown.

- Yes. Our parents are very anti-hoedown.

- Well, your secret is safe with me.

Let's go get you kids some duds.

- Yeehaw.

- I think I like her better as crazy bird lady.

- Wow, you must be pretty important

to have a key to the principal's office.

- Of course I do.

I'm the principal's wingman.

Tweet, tweet.

- And she's back.

- Hey, there's the security system.

We just need to erase the hard drive.

- Here you go. Duds.

- Oh, duds are clothes.

- Hurry on out.

No one's supposed to be in here.

See ya on the dance floor.

- [sighs] So close.

- Are you kidding? We got this.

We just melt the lock with our heat breath,

and erase the security footage.

- No way. Our powers got us into this mess

in the first place.

We need that key.

- And how do we get that?

- We dance, Max. We dance.

[country music]

♪ ♪

- Could this get any worse?

- It's about to.

Ms. Williams, Max wants to dance with you.

- You're on, partner!

- What are you doing?

- Trust me. I have an idea.

Howdy, everybody.

[cheers and applause]

Let's put a little up in your giddy

and scoot boogie to the latest moves.

[cheers and applause]

[country music]

So grab a partner, do-si-do,

round and round and here we go.

- Whoo-hoo! - Chicken in the outhouse, ten feet wide.

Step to the left and do the slide.

All: Whoo!

- Now raise your hands up in the air,

and walk them boots to the county fair.

All: Whoo-hoo!

- Swing your partner round and round,

take your keys and thrown 'em down.

- I love these hip new dance moves.

- Clap your elbows, slap your thighs.

Fox in the hen house, cover your eyes.

Ugh. Not you, Max.

Well, everybody, it's been fun.

Sorry to say, but this gal's done.

[cheers and applause]

- Ohh.

Not so fast, twinkle toes.

- What do I do?

- Let her lead.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Ahh.

You are good, Phoebe Thunderman.

Now, all I need to do is wave the degaus--

Wait. Where is it?

[sighs]

Nora!

- No, Captain Whiskers, it's too dangerous.

- Then it's a good thing I've got nine lives.

- Oh, come on, that would never happen.

- How do you know what happens in space?

- I know that cats can't steer spaceships.

They don't even have thumbs.

[phone chimes]

- I'm going to the kitchen for a snack.

- I am also going to the kitchen

for an unrelated snack.

- Hello, Pheebs.

What's the haps?

- You know very well what the haps is.

I need that degausser.

- No, you need us.

- Just bring it here.

- Say you need us.

- [sighs] I need you.

- Now without the attitude. - Nora!

- On our way.

- Pic pic strikes again.

- Hey, Dad, we're gonna go to bed.

[yawns]

- [yawns]

- Kiss your mom good night.

- [sneezes]

- Or just maybe wave as you walk by.

- Lieutenant, you risked your life to save me.

But why?

- Adiós, gatos.

- Captain Whiskers, this may come as a shock,

but I am your father.

- [gasps]

I did not see that coming.

[country music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo! - Whoo-hoo!

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[cheers and applause]

- You know, I should stop.

I think I'm getting blisters from these boots.

- Then let's get you a bigger pair.

I think I've got some in the principal's office.

- No, not the principal's office.

Because this is my favorite song.

- Well, what about your feet?

- Oh, that's okay.

Blisters are nature's bandages.

- Whoo-hoo!

[country music]

- But, sir, the ship can't handle it.

- [meows]

- But, sir-- - [meowing fiercely]

- Hank, can you check on the kids?

- On it.

[explosion]

- Sir, we've lost engine four.

We have to land on Planet Canine.

- Hey, are you kids good? [high-pitched voice] Yeah, we're good.

You're the best Dad ever.

[normal voice] I love you.

Kids are good!

- Sorry we're late.

Someone stopped for chocolate milk.

- Did you bring the degausser?

- I knew I forgot something.

It's just so good.

[country music]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- How are you feet holding up?

- I don't know if they can

technically be called feet anymore.

- Poor thing.

Let me get that bandage from the first aid closet.

Oh. Where are my keys?

- Your keys.

Uh, maybe you left them in your car.

I'll get 'em for you right now.

You got a brick?

- No, I threw them down.

Someone must've grabbed them.

I gotta make sure no one's

breaking into the principal's office.

- Oh, ms. Williams-- ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

[magnet humming]

- You're a sweet kid, Nora, but step on it.

- Don't rush me. I'm savoring the heist.

[country showdown music]

♪ ♪

- Uh, guys, who's that?

- Oh, no. We're busted.

She's gonna see the tapes

and find out we're superheroes.

I knew this wouldn't work.

- Look, it worked!

- I never had a doubt. Let's get out of here, come on.

Pick up the pace...

And the pencils.

♪ ♪

- Well, look what we have here.

- Oh, ms. Williams, I can explain everything.

- Is it so hard to pick up a pencil?

What did you want to explain, Max?

- Uh--

- We zapped the footage.

- What was that?

- I said I wrapped my footage.

And I found your keys.

- Well, aren't you a gentleman?

You know what I owe you?

One last do-si-do.

- I'm gonna have to give that no-si-no.

Aah. Aah. Aah.

- That's one small step for kitties,

one giant leap for kitty kind.

- I respect what you did, Lieutenant Furball.

- Call me... [gasps]

Dad.

[door opens]

- Whoa. What happened here?

- [sniffles] Kids, we're getting a cat.

- But we're allergic.

- I don't care.

- [sneezes]

- I should check on your mother.

- Wait. Before you do that--

- We have something we need to tell you.

- Right. I almost forgot.

We just wanted to tell you that

you're a really great dad.

- No.

Lieutenant Furball is.

And now he's gone.

[crying]

[sobbing]

- And add that to the list of things I want

to forget about tonight.

- Come on, seriously, you had fun.

- [sighs] I did.

Especially when I took this picture of you,

dancing with Ms. Williams.

- Phoebe, give me that right now.

- Not before I post it. - Phoebe!

Phoebe, this is not fun.

Ow! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

- Come on, come on. - Oh! Ow! Oh!

Ow! Oh! Ow!