Original subtitles

BLESSED LITTLE ANGELS ORPHANAGE

[children chattering]

-I'll miss you, Miky. -Miss you too, Simo.

You're super-lucky to have a grandpa.

I promise when I'm out I'll find you one too.

[car doors closing]

Grandpa, he's here!

He's come!

Bye.

[grand music playing and children chattering]

-Goodbye, Sister Ignazia. -Your grandpa brought these toys.

Keep them for the other orphans who aren't as lucky as me.

-I have grandpa. -Darling!

Sweetheart!

[inaudible dialogue]

Where's grandpa going?

Your grandpa's too old, he can't take care of you.

He says it's best you stay here.

-But he loves you. -Grandpa!

Don't leave me all alone!

Grandpa!

Grandpa!

Grandpa!

I hate you!

I hate you!

-Simone! -[man] Simone.

-Simone? -[groaning]

Simone.

Simone!

What's the matter?

It's 9, you're working today!

No, I can't.

I've got a fever.

I've got...

rocks in my throat.

I'm indisposed.

You look repulsive! You watched TV series all night, eh?

No, I didn't. Just one...

One season.

I dreamed about my grandpa.

-Your grandpa again! -Again...

With my traumas, I could be psychopathic.

In fact, Mrs. Marioni on the 5th floor

said you slammed the downstairs door in her face.

-She had grocery bags. -Agh.

It was a mistake!

You're there at the door, with someone shouting at you:

"Wait, wait!"

It scares you!

I was scared!

She has a mustache... Remember Sister Ignazia?

Yes.

I bent over backwards to get you this job. Please.

[quirky music playing]

-Hello. Furlon? -Yes.

Furlon.

-Very kind, have a good day. -Good day.

Excuse me, young man.

Yes, ma'am?

I need a toilet seat.

We have a wall full of them, which would you like?

I need one that's antique rose.

This one here.

That's not antique rose!

It says: antique rose.

It's not antique rose.

I know antique rose very well.

As a child, mine was antique rose.

I have a picture!

Okay, let's see the picture...

It's actually written there.

Here it is!

See, that's me,

the little girl going potty, the other is my sister.

You can see the toilet seat is antique rose.

Ma'am... it's in black and white.

But you can tell it's antique rose!

That, the one up there.

It's perfect.

[stammers]

That and this are the same,

identical.

-I want that. -They're the same.

-The same model. -That!

Not that.

It's full of germs, disgusting.

-Germs? -It's the first one, they all touch it.

-Who? Spider-Man? -Another one. That!

-That. -This?

No, that.

That this or that that?

-That, that. -That?

-That or this? -That.

-That this? -That.

It's official? We're set?

Nice.

It's sweet.

-I'll take it to check-out. -Is there a bathroom?

After the information booth. I'll wrap it.

No, I have to try it.

No. [laughs] No.

You can't.

I don't buy anything I can't try.

Yes, of course, but not a toilet seat.

I sure can, let me go to the bathroom.

You can't go to the bathroom to try the toilet seat.

-I can go to the bathroom. -You can't, are you crazy?

[both shouting]

What's going on?

Now this old crone will bust your ass, little jerk.

What's going on here?

This boy is extremely impolite.

He won't let me go to the bathroom.

Simone, what's the matter with you?

-You don't know what she'll do there. -It's none of our business!

Ma'am, I'm mortified, it's the last time I'll hire such a yokel.

Yokel!

The lady's along in years.

-Yokel! -Look at her!

She did this to me...

-That's enough. -She did this to me...

-Stop it! -Stop?

[manager] I've had enough.

Get out! Leave my hardware store!

-But she... -Get out of here!

I said to get out of my store!

Fuck off!

[wires snapping]

[shouting indistinctly]

[Simone] Crazy, this video's everywhere.

What video?

The accident one. I don't know who edited it.

It's everywhere, with comments: "For shame!"

"Murderer!"

"I want you for my mother-in-law!"

I'm the "grandma killer."

And she's not even dead! Get it? This country?

Good thing she's not dead.

I'm a magnet for these crazy oldies

who've taken everything,

destroyed the planet

-and go roaming around... -Ah.

...free-range, causing ruckus in stores.

And they're placid because they get retirement.

A retirement we pay for.

Well, none of this negativism, the trial's tomorrow.

Don't drink, you need a clear head.

[judge] This is not the first aggressive behavior he's shown

toward the elderly.

I see a series of dismissals,

arguments with a neighbor, Lambroni Evaristo, 82.

He closed off my meter with drywall. Tell her!

It's not the appropriate forum.

Let me talk. Your Honor is correct, my client is truly mortified

and determined to change. He knows he was wrong.

-And he apologizes. -[muttering]

In these cases imprisonment is not provided for.

-But given your behavioral lacunae... -[Simone] Lacunae?

Be quiet!

Your Honor, I'm very sorry

the lady was hurt.

But she was raving.

-Oldies do that. -Oldies?

-The elderly. -The elderly... do that.

Uh, allowing them outside their homes is unsafe.

They're a danger

and the government should attend to it.

They're not my words, they're Hegel's.

He never said such a thing!

He missed the chance.

Mr. Cardelli, the only dangers here are your prejudices

and latent aggressiveness.

I could send you to jail, but seeing your attitude

regarding the elderly,

the court has decided as follows...

[quirky music playing]

I sentence you to community service in a rest home.

-What? -[judge] For four months.

-That's unacceptable. -Five months.

Abuse of power.

Six months.

We'll take the six months, thank you, Your Honor.

Trust me.

[buzzing]

-[attendant] Villa Magnificent. -I'm here for community service.

Come in.

Hi, I'm Simone.

You have experience?

Experience in community service to...

-To help... -Fucking zero, okay.

I'll take you to the director.

Well, Mr. Cardelle, those people [in English] like you,

[in Italian] take everything in life as a game.

But here, at Villa Magnificent,

it's different. We're serious people.

Our [in English] goal

[in Italian] is to escort our guests to a serene passing, and you, Cardelle...

Cardelli.

You will not turn the sunset of these poor souls

into a skit, [in English] understand?

-Sorry... -[in Italian] What's more!

This will not be where you feel free

to roll all the joints you usually smoke. No way!

This will not be your pusher spot, get it?

I'm asthmatic.

Now the regulations. You must not take them outside,

you must not use the phone or mistreat them.

Nine o'clock...

Nine o'clock is not 9:05, but it's...

-Nine o'clock! -Nine o'clock! [laughs]

One can be a little late, no problem.

[in English] But!

[in Italian] I'll have to reprimand you.

The classic [in English] penalty.

[speaks in French]

[in Italian] On the third avertissment , you will go straight to prison.

Let's go to the welcoming itself.

We welcome you.

Thank you.

♪ In this place where all is hearty ♪

♪ Therapeutic and delightful ♪

♪ It's a never-ending party ♪

♪ But remember, pay attention ♪

♪ Follow the regulation ♪

♪ For if you make me angry ♪

-♪ I will... -He will... ♪

♪ We will kick your fuckin' ass ♪

Excuse me.

[director] There you are!

Director, you wanted to see me?

[director] Marta, our head nurse.

He is our, let's say... volunteer.

[romantic music playing]

A pleasure. Marta.

A pleasure, Marta.

Simone...

[director] Marta will show you your duties.

We must remember the habits and needs of each guest.

For example, this is Sigfrido,

he was a lawyer, he's adorable.

Who are you? My papa?

No, Cinzia, he's your husband.

This is the new arrival.

Introduce yourself!

A pleasure. Simone.

Cinzia.

-Simone. -Cinzia

-It's still Simone. -Cinzia.

Cinzia!

Isn't she wonderful?

Poor thing, she has Alzheimer's.

-But the hand is mine. -Hm?

This is our winter garden, the lounge.

We do various activities here.

Give me that remote!

Quiet, I have to understand the signs!

Understand? Signs?

[man] Why won't you believe it?

Aliens are behind it all, the weatherman is one of them,

he's a reptilian.

-See the lightning flashing? -So?

They're coded messages.

[woman] Ezio, calm down!

One time it's reptilians, another it's graphite...

Graphene! Graphene in vaccines.

[woman] Whatever.

Another time it's 5G... Relax!

And give me the remote control!

Magician! Pulls hankies from her mouth!

He's Ezio, a bit particular.

He has ideas all his own. He's a conspiracy theorist.

She's Barbara, she was a magician on the Magic Channel.

She's such fun, you'll love her.

We promote both physical activity, and classical therapy.

Excellent, all of you!

-I think they're beautiful. -Me too, wow...

Come on, guys!

Dino's extraordinary, such preparation...

Get those prostheses going, seeing what you spent on them!

Out with that enthusiasm!

And culturally, irreproachable.

Prostheses in me, none.

Just a dislocation in '96.

[dance music playing]

Same as my grandson, he plays soccer.

Anna, stop it! You're making Bruce Lee's ears bleed.

That's Anna, she's so sociable.

Maybe too much.

The Japanese man is Eisuke.

He's very elegant and very patient.

-Maybe he's deaf. -No.

This is our locker room

and here...

is your uniform.

Wow, beautiful!

Now you're one of us.

Too bad...

I can't be your patient.

To be a patient here, you have to be at least 65.

You're 40, 45?

-Thirty. -So, more or less!

-A doctor's here on Wednesdays... -Thanks a million!

I'll wait outside.

These are our guests' rooms.

Here's Ettore's, he should be in.

Why not knock, see if he needs anything.

[Ettore] Come in.

[Simone] Hello, I'm...

Simone, the new...

Can't you see I'm watching TV?

Then I'll leave you.

I was joking!

I'm watching the squirrels.

Squirrels?

They're playing a match. Singles vs. married.

Singles are down three lemons. They're second-rate.

Maybe three acorns! [chuckles]

ETTORE COSTA WINE CELLARS RENEWING

You make wine!

Friulian... Costa's your surname, I think.

Nice.

Beautiful, she's your wife?

No, my mechanic.

We felt close, so we took a picture.

-Are you a private eye? -No, I saw the...

Just two questions... Need anything?

I need you off my nuts, go, get out!

-Have a good day. -Get out, go!

Go!

Go!

Fuck off.

-Isn't he adorable? -Uh-huh.

They say, inside each elderly is a child, shouting,

"Let me out!"

In there, three or four.

Oldies gone bonkers

with senile dementia.

And those who work there are totally mad.

The director is a nut case.

-Even the director! -Especially him!

Something...

[jazzy music playing]

Cardellius!

[in English] Just in time.

Just in time!

How I wish someone would brush my hair!

It would be nice, wouldn't it?

Come on.

[grunts]

No! No, no, no!

This is Anna, my first grandchild, named after me.

This is Margherita, here they're in Australia.

-You know kangaroos are lefties? -Fucking hell!

What?

Looking swell, huh?

Yes, how true.

Seen this?

I warned you.

That kid's psychopathic!

Look at him laugh! The oldie buried in crappers and he laughs.

You found that on an alternative site of yours.

Better than yours! I'm doing counter-information.

Besides, it's everywhere.

-They say "viral." -Viral.

He could kill us all.

In a film, a priest goes crazy

and kills an elderly like me.

Not bad as an ending.

-We need a plan, right or not? -[Ettore] You're right.

I have half an idea.

-What is it? -Tell him to fuck off.

[all laugh]

-Okay, but how? -Has to be organized?

Eisuke?

How about a Samurai ritual?

[speaks in Japanese]

Young man?

You risk big-time.

The director hasn't gone home yet

and he's not one...

I use my phone twice and I risk big-time?

Buddy, the phone's okay but the TV goes off at 9:30.

You're risking.

Isn't it 11?

He doesn't read the circulars.

Every day at 11, Tuesdays at 9:30.

You're risking big-time.

Go ahead, go on!

Eisuke?

What do you want?

Nothing, but there's the TV schedule.

What time is it?

9:35.

9:35?

-Yes. -No!

Tuesday!

Tuesday?

[mutters] I, poor wretch!

I mistake schedule!

It's not serious, for five minutes.

[Eisuke] I broke rule!

What are you doing?

-Mortified! -Stop!

I made mistake!

No, what are you doing?

Punish myself.

[all scream]

Oh, my God!

It's your fault!

[shouting] Help!

[alarm wailing]

Director!

Director!

[all laughing]

Ninny!

-Excellent. -Awesome!

-[indistinct shouting] -There!

There, on the couch.

Stabbed where? Eisuke!

[speaking in Japanese]

[in Italian] How are you?

Fine, director.

-And you? -[Simone] No, he stabbed himself.

He was all bloody.

-The blood... -Chips?

Macardelli. [clears throat]

I was unaware of your comic verve.

No, I'll explain.

I told Mr. Eisuke to turn off the TV.

-Obviously... -Pourquoi?

Because it's Tuesday!

He said, "I punishment, punish!"

He pulled out a knife like this...

And out of nowhere...

[yells]

There was all blood and he...

Of course, say no more.

-You're not joking. -No, I'm not joking!

I saw him, he was there, it was...

Judging from your eyes, you're back in the drug tunnel.

-[gasps] -No, no, no!

Good Lord, who are you?

The rat, the guinea pig, the one who finds the stuff?

No, director!

Don't make the situation worse.

With a heart full of sadness,

I must give you your [in English] first penalty!

-No... -[in Italian] With another two, you...

are out of play. Hm? Think about the little jingle.

Arigato .

Muchas disculpas [in English] for everybody.

You're a very strange boy.

No, Marta, no! No, no, you--

Verguenza!

Drogado!

Bye, guy!

We have a pure!

Sheer luck!

-I'm playing with a corpse! -Yeah, okay!

Okay, what?

Simone?

-Can I get coffee too? -No, I'm sorry.

We've run out.

If I don't bring it, you'll stab yourself with a spoon?

Grate your meniscus?

Young man, there are ways and ways to say things.

[mutters]

I think he hasn't learned the lesson.

Needs straightening out.

Good!

It's time for therapy and tranquilizers.

Why don't we do "honeymoon at Machu Picchu"?

Machu Picchu!

Anna, Machu Picchu!

Here you go.

Thank you.

Let's take these pills!

Very good.

I've had enough, I'm done playing.

No!

-Come on! -I'm done.

-We can't play with three. -We need a fourth.

Simone?

Come and play, there are three of us.

I'm not playing with you lot.

-Why won't you play? -Why won't you play?

Part of our job is to please the guests.

-Yeah. -[Simone] Right.

Eh...

-Then play. -Then play.

We'll play!

-I'll go. -Mm-hm.

Let's have this game.

-Got coffee? -Yes.

Come on!

Simone, Dino wants you.

-Now? -Yes. Do I tell him you're busy?

-No, I'll come. -We'll wait.

-Be back. -Take your time.

Stir it.

Dino didn't want a thing.

-What are you doing? -Please.

-What are you doing? -Who?

[chuckles]

You thought I wouldn't realize?

Is this where we are?

You looked at my cards.

Good for you!

I told you, he's no fool.

[all chattering]

My compliments!

It says a lot about the people you are.

This is Italy!

Amazing.

Drink up, drink.

Now I'll break you.

I'll hurt you.

Yes!

Now you'll...

I've never...

[groaning]

Who is it that... Can you back off?

We have a... Unh.

Aren't you...

Feeling hot, you feel...

It's just a little...

[hisses]

Still there? I have a presence...

It's not hot.

I feel... Who....

Do you have a...

My mouth's all pasty!

[woman hums]

Mm? Mm.

[hums]

Cinzia.

Where are we?

In my room.

-What happened? -What happened?

I mean... What happened?

I'm Cinzia.

Yes, but you and me, what...

We didn't...

If you had to...

define last night, what word would you use?

-Do you like cookies? -Great.

Uh...

Anyway, fantastic taste.

Anyway, me and you...

This vagueness is reassuring. We didn't...

Right?

Come on.

[quirky music playing]

Yes!

Cardello.

-[Simone whimpers] -Shh.

He got caught!

Guys!

He got caught!

[all laughing]

Yes, but I don't like

using Cinzia for such jokes.

Using? We put him there three minutes before he woke up.

You were there too!

Just takes a second, then rumors start flying.

What rumors? It's just us here!

Even if they fly, that's good.

You'll catch cold, cover up.

The end!

[Simone] I was playing cards...

Then I can't remember anything else.

I woke up...

naked.

Donde?

-Where? -In the hall.

I was looking for something to wear...

It's not being naked, it can happen to anyone.

The problem...

is you don't even remember where you were and that's not good.

I entrusted you with the responsibility of Villa Magnificent!

You're so right.

You have all my solidarity.

In the past I was a chorus director.

Who hasn't found himself suddenly naked?

Who?

Who?

-Who? -Everyone!

Everyone!

[speaks in French]

[in English] No judgment.

[in Italian] These things happen.

Thank you for your understanding,

also for not punishing me.

But I must punish you!

That's good.

I do it for your own good.

I remind you this is the second reprimand.

On the third...

[whistling]

Leave.

Cardello!

Horrifying.

What the fuck happened?

How's it fucking possible?

-Simone? -Ah.

-I don't know what to say. -Me neither.

Why?

I don't know why I was naked in the hall.

No, I saw you come out naked from Cinzia's room.

No, well, Marta...

-It's not like you think. -Then how is it?

I don't know.

I was naked and I don't remember.

Simone, I have the greatest respect for mental disorder,

but not this!

The first step toward healing is to be aware.

Aware of what?

You're an addict, attracted to elderly women, incapable of intention and will.

No, no!

Really, no!

I was playing cards with them,

I drank my coffee, I put it aside...

The coffee!

-The coffee? -Ettore!

It's a practical joke called "honeymoon in Machu Picchu."

What did you do?

We dissolved our pills in your coffee

and you went berserk, out of...

-You play these games at 90? -90? It's a joke!

Calm down!

Anyway, we had a laugh, didn't we?

Yes, it's funny.

Also because they weren't prescribed for you.

Medicine without prescription! Anarchy!

You never laugh but this makes you laugh?

-I could have died. -No.

We take those pills every evening.

Tell the truth,

you for Cinzia,

you pampered her,

I saw how you looked at her.

Where's this attraction for elderly women come from?

No attraction!

You like old women, come on!

What's your rapport with your mother?

That might be it!

What was your childhood like? Did your mother mistreat you?

She dressed you like a little pageboy,

she abandoned you at a service station?

I'm an orphan.

Oh, right.

I'm sorry.

I spend my childhood in an orphanage

because my grandpa chose to abandon me.

You must have been very angry with him.

Yes, but he died before we could clear things.

Simone.

-You must have suffered so much. -No, by now!

So much!

You created your identity around the trauma you suffered.

You read me within.

You're the only one who understands I'm...

A nihilist with maniac depressive tendencies.

I'd have said "sensitive," but you detailed it. Thanks!

Don't mention it.

So, you skipped therapy and that's not good for you.

So, it's good for me?

Let's get past this. You both should change attitude.

This guy here has to change attitude!

This guy here, to who?

-A little respect. -Respect? Me?

-Yes. -Sure, it's my fault!

Yeah, my fault! You lot always do that.

-You lot? -You.

You shitty old fogies.

You always do that

with pollution, plastic in the oceans,

global warming.

You've sucked up all the raw materials, the resources

of this planet and we pay the consequences.

What heroes you are! Evil,

selfish, capable of abandoning a child,

dumping him with toys just to clear your consciences.

And any reference to my life is purely coincidental!

I'm leaving, fuck it!

-You quarreled? -No, I didn't quarrel.

In there are situations,

not criminal, but...

Now I don't want... but...

Really, it's no problem.

You didn't get another reprimand!

Yes, I did, but it's not my fault.

You don't know what I'm going through,

and I won't even tell you. It's not right.

So, you're this close to being kicked out.

No!

Yes! Ah, yes.

Well, I did what I could.

I won't abandon you this time either, I'll bring you oranges in jail.

[door creaks]

Simo!

Come here a minute.

Simo...

We're not classmates.

Any ambushes, after coffee.

I wanted to say

I'm sorry, maybe we went too far.

Are you all right?

Maybe your grandfather was a bastard

or maybe he just couldn't deal with it,

he didn't have the means, the way to raise you.

-Leave my grandpa out of this. -It was an example.

It's tough, it's hard to grow old.

To wake up three times a night to pee

and you can't do it with the duck which,

instead of being in the cage, is under the bed...

I hear a song, I'm moved,

I feel like crying, I'm ashamed to cry

and I can't even run off.

I look in my phone, half the people are dead.

It's a hateful thing, it sucks!

-I never thought about it. -Because you're young!

At your age, I jumped trenches lengthwise, I ate table legs.

You were a monster!

I'd do anything to be like you... I mean, not like you.

To be your age.

React, dammit!

You're young, why throw away your time?

You're here, live your life the best you can.

You're right.

Try to have a rapport with these oldies.

-But they hate me! -No, they don't know you.

They don't know who you are, they're distrustful by nature.

Try talking to them,

try to win them over,

make them see you're interested, listen to them.

It creates a relationship.

I'll help you, gladly.

Poor Anna.

Always alone, never any visitors, they avoid her.

It's not nice.

Yes, why don't you...

-It's an opportunity. -I might.

Try! You have to try!

I will, in fact!

Anna!

What the fuck is it, asshole?

Want a wall of toilet seats to crash down on me?

Yup!

-See? -Wow!

-It went well. -Yeah.

-As a first impact... -There was already a...

I thank you!

You did well.

Yup.

The Illuminati, strong powers, hidden truths.

I've spent my life demonstrating these things.

My wife left me, she didn't believe it.

Said like that, it's bad.

She didn't even want to wear a protective helmet.

Helmet?

Protective! I'll show you.

It's aluminum foil?

Yes, of course.

Keeps them from reading your thoughts.

Ah!

I'd say: "Wear it at least when you go out!"

Like... the supermarket.

Especially the supermarket!

Ezio, listen.

Who reads our thoughts?

My boy!

The question is, who doesn't read our thoughts.

Try it.

Ah.

Yeah, I already feel...

more privacy.

I met her in Luxor, Egypt.

She was splendid,

16 years old!

-A minor! -Yes, okay!

She was leaving at dawn.

She whispered...

where she and her parents were staying.

And I joined her that night.

-Free. -Thank you.

And there...

Nothing at all!

They didn't let me in!

-And so, you... -And so?

I climbed up!

Up the drainpipe to her balcony.

Back then I was a nice missile.

[whistles]

Don't gesture, I understand.

I forced the window open.

And there she was.

I kissed her smile.

And that kiss never ended.

How nice when love conquers all.

It could be called stalking...

But beautiful.

[Cinzia] What a handsome Zorro!

With that big handsome sword!

She can barely remember who I am, my name.

What I'd give to relive a moment like that.

[Cinzia] Zorro!

Señorita.

Champagne, year 1996.

I don't know it.

You gave champagne to Cinzia?

We don't waste our champagne for Cinzia!

It's soda pop!

Are you ready?

[Sigfrido] I look like a clown!

You'll be wonderful, come out!

Perfect.

Cinzia will go crazy.

[man singing in Spanish on recording]

Olà!

[speaking in Spanish]

Young man, who are you?

Diego! Della Vega!

AKA... Zorro!

Zorro!

[Sigfrido] Shall we dance?

[romantic flamenco music playing]

Well done!

What a dancer!

Excruciating fuego!

They should do "Dancing with the Decrepit"!

-Ettore, come on! -I'm just saying!

Shapely!

[all chuckle]

Zorro!

Shall we leave them alone?

Let's go.

You had a wonderful idea. Well done!

Thank you.

But I feel weird, something in my stomach.

-You feel bloated? -No.

A little more...

Gastroenteritis?

No, like when you have an air hole.

It might be a bit of emotion, what do you think?

Maybe you're happy for them.

[Simone] Think so?

Could be! I'm happy, but for them.

Because I made a wish come true.

So... Eh, not...

The first time, made me a little...

-You've never felt like that? -[elevator dings]

No! The elevator's here.

Let's go.

Don't you need a hand?

No, thank you.

I warned you.

Too bad for you!

I got no vaccine, you did.

In the vaccines, they've hidden graphene!

And 5G activates graphene.

[Dino] Do I go?

I'm going...

Active!

Announcement to all. Progress has come to Villa Magnificent.

We now have 5G!

[all cheering]

Think of the fun when the electromagnetic waves

make you all sick.

[all yelling]

There's graphene, Ezio's right!

Break the connection!

Break it now!

I can't do it!

Break it!

I can't do it!

Break it!

Hold it! Hold it!

I'll do it, I'm immune!

I can do it!

I'm protected!

Hold it!

[all gasping]

-[warbles] -[cheers]

Good for you!

[shouting]

I was right!

5G is lethal!

Finally, we have proof.

Ezio was right! He saved us!

Ezio, Ezio, Ezio!

It's beautiful!

What does it say?

[speaks in Japanese]

The way of the Samurai.

The way of the Samurai is death.

I don't know anything about you, your youth...

There's nothing to know.

What work did you do in Japan?

If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

[chuckles] Joking.

Or not?

Joking.

Or not?

Let's drop work!

As a child,

a dream of yours?

Actually, I do remember one thing

when my father took me to see

the most wonderful sport in the world.

[speaking in Japanese]

He's Japanese, he likes sumo! I'm an idiot.

Maybe we misjudged, a Tamagotchi or some sushi was enough.

What are you doing?

[speaks in Japanese]

What's that mean?

A ritual against misfortune and injury.

Today, just misfortune. Come on, guy.

Your after school club was Samurai?

In Basilicata, sumo's the top sport, soccer's second.

Come on, guy.

[speaking in Japanese]

Go, Dino! Come on!

Go!

[all shouting]

[dramatic music playing]

Ettore, I'm losing, what do I do?

Get in there, it's all yours, live it!

You got it, do it!

I know precisely what you mean.

Dino?

You'll pay for the evil you've done!

[shouting]

Well done!

Cardelle!

Naked again.

No, it's traditional dress.

-Of course... -A big diaper...

Director, we use diapers here.

[director] Ezio, speak for yourself.

-What were you doing? -They were entertaining us.

[in Italian] An ancient story.

What story?

"Kung Fu Panda"?

I know that story!

Delightful!

-So, in theory, I can't reprimand you. -Drats, no!

Too bad! The situation seemed a bit effervescent!

-I'll take my leave. -Please, director...

Simone. Arigato.

You are...

much better than Kung Fu Panda.

[speaks in Japanese]

Coffee, no-sugar, just how you like it.

I'm off to work!

[in English] I gotta work. On to work, he's on to work.

[counting in French]

[in English] One. Penalty time!

Morning. Expecting someone?

[in Italian] Credelia, get to work!

Beddy-bye!

[laughs] Happy Birthday!

How do you know it's my birthday?

-In administration. -Get a glass.

We'll drink my wine.

First, close your eyes, make a wish

and blow out the candle, only one.

Grand photo!

Hey! Woo-hoo.

Look into the camera.

Think it's the first photo of my life?

Evidently it is.

Hey! Ho, ho!

Look what I got you. "If Your Mother were a Reptilian."

[Ezio] Where did you find it? I looked all over!

It was nowhere! Thank you!

Think nothing of it.

-My mother was a viper! -Hardly the same thing.

Barbara, tomorrow, the séance.

I've organized a thing for you!

Thank you, sit down.

When I had my studio, and on TV,

you know all the fake things I did?

Who knows all the people you scammed.

Where's your hat? They might read your mind.

That is, if you had one in that empty noggin.

Keep talking to ghosts

that don't answer you, hoaxer!

[Barbara] Drop it.

This time the séance will be real.

I'm certain to talk to my mama and papa.

Here they are.

[Simone] You look like them.

If you're able to, we'll make a group call with my folks.

-I'll read your cards. -No! Barbara, no.

I don't believe in these things.

The Emperor.

There's a man protecting you.

A grouchy man, but kind,

who you're growing fond of.

Growing fond of?

The Wheel of Fortune!

Things are evolving.

Your karma is changing.

No.

The Lovers!

Someone here's in love, eh?

In love, what?

In love with who?

It's typical of the cards,

love...

It's not disgraceful, being in love is a nice thing.

Connected to our feelings and sharing them with others.

I think she's up for it.

How can you be so sure?

A feeling, a vibe.

She looks at me differently.

I've even made headway with the others.

Leaps and bounds.

I'm good at it! It's a very positive moment.

I'm glad for you!

You're maturing and you're only 30.

Isn't it a little early?

Live a little!

This sarcasm,

you can keep it.

Don't you want to take a year off? Maybe you're tired.

Kiddos, how's it going?

No one's here?

Oi!

Where are you all?

-Simone. -Oh, Marta.

Why that face? Did someone die?

Someone died?

Barbara.

Last night.

[Ezio] She said so. Remember?

She said so.

Today she'd have talked to her parents.

And she did.

I was fond of her.

But I never told her.

Can anyone be dumber than me?

Yes, they can be dumber.

Guys.

This is a retirement home, not Disneyland.

It'll happen to all of us sooner or later. Today it's her.

Tomorrow it's you.

Will you take me away?

Take me away.

[emotional music playing]

-[Simone] I brought some tea. -[Ettore] Thank you, put it there.

Thank you.

Any squirrels?

No, they're all dead.

Listen, we all miss Barbara.

Come on...

Forget it.

-I'll take you to the others. -No, no.

-I don't want to. -Don't stay here alone.

I don't want to go, stop!

I don't want to go.

How about this?

We can make your wish come true.

I have no more wishes.

Leave me alone.

Okay, I get it.

Listen, what did you mean

the other day with Ezio,

"Can anyone be dumber than..."

I meant you never mind your own business.

-Ever. -I see.

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

-Bed? -It happens.

I know under this tough bark

there's a soft center.

A creamy filling

under this chopped-pistachio crust

because you're a pastry.

-You're a pastry! -Keep your hands off me!

You'll get a head-butt.

But tell me how to help you.

Think you're Mary Poppins? You walk in here, help everyone.

You'll soon go but I'm still here, in line for the morgue.

-Why do you say that? -That's how it is.

I know you're edgy, but you told me to react.

So, react!

Listen, I even find you likable.

But you're a housekeeper,

you bring coffee, take it away,

you make beds, clean the halls and the toilets.

Just do your job,

get out, get off my balls.

Get out!

Go!

I get it.

Clear.

Why the fuck do I bother?

Fuck off!

Buddy! Still on that?

Come on. Ettore's son, Ludovico, has to be taken to his father.

-But, today. -Okay!

The package was important, you know that.

Mr. Costa's son?

We're talking half a million.

Okay, okay. I understand...

Ettore.

Your son's here.

Who's that?

-I'm here to visit my father. -Your son.

He's not my son.

He says you're not his son.

Want a passport? Come on!

He's not my son! A son would never interdict a father to prison.

One who scares off 30 caregivers, sure.

They ran off when they saw you.

Papi, do you have to do this every time I come?

Papi? Did I ask you to come?

You bankrupted the firm!

[Ettore] I built the firm,

I can bankrupt it if I want.

It's my fucking business, or not?

Simone, would you read "Vip Secret"? I'm a little tired.

I don't feel like it.

Got rubbed the wrong way? You hurt me.

Did something happen with Ettore?

You two aren't speaking anymore.

He's acting crazy, also with his son earlier.

With what happened to him...

Must be for that woman.

What woman?

I don't know if I can tell you.

Anna, what woman?

Anna.

If you want to talk, open the gates, full power, free the beast!

Ettore had a renowned wine company.

At a certain point he fell in love

and began living high with this lady.

But one evening, returning home alone,

totally wasted, he crashed the car.

From there, a wheelchair.

No!

His son stepped in and said that's enough.

He was already furious with Ettore

for a chasm in the budget,

so he had him interdicted.

But the woman?

He sent a hateful letter with a check, to be rid of her.

She was offended and never wrote back.

Oh. I didn't tell you anything.

He gave her a check to be rid of her,

but now he's sorry and misses her.

That's why he's such an asshole. He's suffering!

I didn't know you had a master's in Psychology.

A first-rate interpretation.

What should I do with this person?

What do you say, I help him?

Yes, for the first time you're thinking about a person who's not you.

You almost scare me, I don't recognize you.

You're like a phoenix rising from manure.

You're sure that's it?

No.

That one rises from ashes but you're a little before that.

[Simone] His companion, the love of his life,

her name is Elena

and she's our objective.

She is Ettore's wish.

We have to get them to meet again.

Is there a plan or not?

There is. The only way to get Ettore

out of his room is through the window.

But the grounds are full of security cameras.

The only thing is to neutralize the guard, putting him to sleep.

-Tranquilizers? -No, Anna's enough.

I wake up three, four, five times a night.

I don't really suffer from insomnia.

It's my bladder that keeps me awake.

It's not incontinence.

[Simone] The gate is automatic,

so we short-circuit the electric panel.

And here, coming into play are Sigfrido and Cinzia.

[funky music playing]

Who's there?

My name is Bond.

James Bond.

We're now James Bond?

The situation's getting a little out of hand.

How do we get Ettore outside?

We need a nimble person,

quiet as a ninja.

He will lower himself from the window, invisible to security cameras,

and if he should encounter

a housekeeper, annihilate him.

[all grunting]

Then, he takes a rope,

ties it to Ettore's bed and tosses the rope out the window,

where Ezio,

with a system of pulleys,

will start pulling.

-With the pulleys? -With the pulleys.

Alone?

No!

Because you'll be...

with Pino!

[shouts]

[Simone] Exactly. He's my man!

Recapping.

-Anna, you'll put to sleep... -That's enough!

We understand this loony plan.

Anna distracts the guard,

Sigfrido and I are a diversion,

Eisuke drops from the window and Ezio yanks on the pulleys

with Pino's help.

You remembered everything!

I was right?

Right? You're cured!

It's a miracle!

Cured... I've never seen anyone be cured of Alzheimer's.

It's strange.

Cured? No way!

I think she's been making a fool of you.

Once Alzheimer's is in you, you don't get cured.

It's not dandruff.

It's not dandruff.

Dear husband.

When we arrived here, I was so sad and bewildered

I didn't want to talk to anyone, not even to you.

You all thought I'd lost my head.

Forgive me.

But, seeing me in that state,

you were so kind, caring,

jealous.

So, I continued pretending.

And all those medicines?

I threw them out.

Can you ever forgive me?

I thought I'd lost you,

that I'd have to follow you among the clouds.

It's marvelous!

What a beautiful relationship! Maybe a bit toxic.

Fantastic. But that night...

The plan!

The plan is fundamental.

A question. You have an ID?

Yes, I do.

Then why not use the elevator? It's near Ettore's room.

With your ID, unlock the service door

to the no-camera parking area and it's done.

My plan is perfect, I sweated over it.

Yours is creaky.

-Your plan is idiocy. -Immense foolishness.

[Ezio] A piece of crap.

Yes, eh!

-[Ettore] Let go of this wheelchair! -[Simone] Quiet!

[Ettore] Take me back.

Trust me!

-I'll fall off the chair. -Bad idea!

-You want to get me in trouble. -Quiet!

-It's nothing! -You're an idiot!

I'm taking you to Elena.

-How does Elena figure? -She figures.

-Why talk about Elena? -I did my research.

-Why don't you mind your fucking business? -Well done!

Very good.

[laughs]

It took time, but you came through.

It's your third reprimand, I have to call the judge.

Not in my wildest dreams, the abduction of an elderly,

incapable of intention and will.

-You're a genius! -I intend and I want.

I'll be abducted if I want, I'll go if I want, or I'll stay.

Your going or staying is my responsibility and your son's.

Forget my son.

[Simone] It's not fair.

Why is he interdicted? His head's okay.

Cardello, who are you?

You lunge into a delicate family situation, studs up.

Who am I not to indulge your son? Clearly he cares for you.

A son paying a pharaonic fee to keep you safe here.

That's corruption!

It's kidnapping!

I'll call the papers, make a video,

I'll record it, call the police!

It would be my word against yours.

We can work this out.

So, instead of sending you to jail,

I could sign the days you're missing,

you'd pay your debt with justice,

you'd go home two months earlier,

but you could never come back here.

Okay? Take it or leave it.

And if you leave it...

[in English] Prison.

The clink.

I get it.

[Ettore] Either take it or...

Take it.

I'll take you back inside.

-I'll go on my own. -No, I'll take you.

-I'll go on my own. -Let me help you.

I'll go on my own!

[introspective music playing]

You're crazy, what made you do that?

You said to help him,

the phoenix thing.

I thought you'd help him relive a nice time with his woman.

How can I help him relive that?

-You can't abduct an indicted person. -I didn't.

Isn't there a legal way to get him out?

I don't know, it's complicated.

-On what basis? -I don't know.

[door bell buzzing]

Expecting someone?

No.

-Who is it? -I'm no magician.

-Hey, Marta. Hi. -Hi.

What are you doing here?

I'm shocked! What the director did is shameful.

Yes...

Marta the nurse? A pleasure, Michele.

Simon's roommate and lawyer.

Lawyer! What a wonderful course of study!

Anyway, we have to help Ettore escape to his loved one.

You're telling me?

You don't know the risk! Article 574:

removal of an incompetent.

A three-year sentence.

Three years!

I thought fewer.

Maybe you should think it over.

Too late.

Why?

-That window faces the street? -Yes.

[funky music playing]

-How did you do it? -Quietly, not like you.

[Ettore] I'd say this is a blunder.

You're sure you know where she is?

I researched, she has farmland in Salento.

She won't be happy to see me.

Why?

I'm bloated, old, in a wheelchair.

-She doesn't know? -No.

I didn't want her to be my nursemaid.

She's a nice girl, pretty, young.

The only way to find out is to ask her.

Eight and a half hours and we're there.

-We'll call to say we're coming. -We're not calling anyone!

Why stick your nose in? Who are you?

His son was right to have him interdicted.

I hear you, snake!

We have to call. What if she's not there?

All the better for her.

If anything, we'll wait.

[snores]

Guys?

-What do I do, call? -Yes.

We have to.

Call Elena's Farmland.

Quiet!

-[woman] Hello? -Hello, good evening!

Is Lady Elena there?

-Who is speaking? -Um...

-I'm a friend of Ettore's. -Ettore?

I'd like to tell her we're coming.

I see.

He's waking up!

-Where are we? -We're there.

Still a good way to go.

[inspiring music playing]

This is magnificent!

We still have time, let's go back.

Let us do this! For once, some trust.

Beg your pardon.

Yes?

Lady Elena?

Yes. She's over there.

Ah.

Will we be disturbing her?

I really don't think so.

-There's a surprise. -Seeing me like this will shock her.

I'll accompany you.

She's dead?

-How can that be? -She was fine.

But last night she received a call.

A sudden collapse.

-After the phone call? -Yes.

Last night?

Yes. Inexplicable.

[Ettore] You're so beautiful!

She's beautiful.

What beauty!

I'm sorry.

I was a coward, I was afraid.

To show up like this...

I was ashamed.

I swear, I've always loved you.

You're my only love.

She's warm.

She's dead but she's warm.

What a woman!

Touch her, feel that.

She's warm.

She's warm.

Why?

Why?

Because you're a huge asshole.

[screaming]

Good for you, auntie, you pulled it off!

Pulled it off?

-What kind of joke is this? -You're crazy.

I almost had a stroke!

You fell for it!

I've never seen a resurrection before.

I have to say...

you were too warm.

Admit you fell for it.

-And you deserved it. -Of course.

I was an asshole, in every way.

I never imagined I'd find you in this condition.

Actually...

You never said a word, you decided for both of us.

I wanted a clean break.

-That check made me mad. -It was on purpose.

-I wanted to make you mad. -You did.

I fled here.

That check bought me this place.

You did well.

I thought maybe one day...

you'd come here looking for me.

So romantic.

In the end, I did.

Now I'm here.

To stay?

It's not easy.

My situation is complicated.

-Get yourself a... -Ettore!

This time,

I'll decide.

Psst.

-If it's not your thing, I'll do it. -It's not true!

It was a harebrained scheme!

But Ettore's wish... done.

But when there's a little rise, I have to help.

You were so good.

We did it together.

I've never seen him so happy.

It was worth it.

[tires screeching]

Yes, Fiorenzo.

No. No, no.

No, I'm in Apulia.

The usual messes with my father.

Bye.

What are you doing here?

Cardelio!

Did you forget our deal?

I hope you enjoyed the vacation, because I'll get you a life sentence.

I invite you not to speak to my client like that.

Who's that guy?

-Who the fuck knows him? -Put Mr. Costa in the car.

Put him in the car... I'm no packing crate.

-Gently! -He's no packing crate.

I have a call with the board, let's move.

No, I'm staying, no one's taking me away.

Listen.

We haven't talked much, I've been a real asshole

since my accident,

with you and with her, the only people meaningful to me.

Very good.

Now I'd like to make amends, also thanks to this boy.

-We know him. -[Ettore] He helped me

and opened my eyes.

Thanks also to him I've decided to stay here.

-If you'd like to intervene... -Now I'll talk.

Okay, Papa.

Sorry.

Maybe I was wrong too.

Well, if you quit the mayhem

and promise not to stick your nose into the family business...

we have an agreement.

You can stay in Apulia, okay?

You bet it is!

-In Apulia here? -We're in Apulia, here.

We came 1,500 kms and you resolve it like this?

Moreover, I remind you we're looking at a criminal offense.

This is an enlèvement , so let's calm down!

In a flash, I could call the police. But I respect your family!

And you respect all the money I gave you on the hush.

I have all the receipts.

-Every one. -What are you saying?

Don't go on. Your penal situation is not crystal clear.

Do we go or stay?

[speaking indistinctly]

-Are we going, or not? -Later, I said.

Okay. The situation is clear but does not end here.

Especially for you, Cardellio. Dino, let's go!

-Come on! -[Dino] Director...

I'm not coming.

I've had no vacation in three years. I'll grab a weekend here.

What are you saying?

-I'm not coming. -[director] No problem.

[Dino] The car's mine.

There's a bus stop 200 meters down the road.

If you run, you'll be just in time.

Very well.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

I have to thank you.

-You've lengthened my life. -Nah!

An exaggeration!

And now, the important things.

You like her?

Listen to this fool.

Go, look in her eyes and tell her.

Don't make the mistake I did.

Go.

Going.

-Hey. -Hey!

So...

These two days have been insane.

Yeah!

Listen, I...

You seem different.

Let's admit it,

maybe your feelings have changed a little.

Oh.

It's that obvious?

-To me, it is. -[laughs]

How embarrassing, I never thought it was so clear.

Okay.

I have a crush.

I'm very happy.

Me too.

Your friend.

He's really cool!

-Michele? -Mm-hm.

-Michele's cool? -Come on.

Look at him!

Come on, come on!

Go between my legs!

Could you put in a good word?

Yes...

Thank you, you're a real friend!

Nice to be a friend.

How did it go?

Like shit.

SIX MONTHS LATER

ASSOCIATION MAKE A WISH

[woman] We'll send our balloons up, so the clouds can read them too.

-Ready? -Yes.

[up-beat music playing]

-Simone. -Miky! Oh!

-How are you? -So nice to see you.

-Hi. -Hey!

Okay, even a little less.

Just saying hi. I can't?

Well done, your association is beautiful.

Welcoming both orphans and elderly is fantastic.

So the kids can adopt the grannies and the grannies, the kids.

So, they have what we didn't.

Which is also your wish too.

Not the top one, but...

We get it.

[grunting]

Vowel A.

Ahh.

This one is Doggy.

This is Dogish.

And this one's yours.

Behind a bush, Little Red Riding Hood spied

two big, shining eyes.

Now that all the elderly are here, where's the director?

Some irregularities were found...

and he was given community service.

-Know where? -No.

Here's the moment we've been waiting for!

-Who wants a balloon? -[all] Me, me!

Ah, no, no, no. No, no, no!

If you say "me," you won't get one. You!

-Hey, oldie! -Hey, youngster!

If you're here for the harvest, you're early.

See how nice it's growing?

Stop pruning it.

It's my plant, think you can tell me how to prune it?

Be a good kid, come on.

Many, many, many years from now...

you'll be taking care of it.

For now...

I have to say you've done well.

It's a nice setup here. Well done.

-Good for you. -Thanks.

Because you seem stupid...

But?

You seem stupid...

Ah.

-But? -But, what?

You seem stupid, but...

I didn't say "but."

You must have thought it.

No, I said, "you seem stupid."

-Then you need to add a compliment. -I'm not obliged.

It's a social convention.

-Social? -The negative premise to a surprise.

I'm not obliged. Read the phrase:

"You seem," that "you seem"...

says it all.

Like a motorbike doing a wheelie.

You seem stupid!

[Simone] You didn't use such a sharp tone.

It's something people say.

A negative premise...

[continue chattering]

MAKE A WISH

Subtitles Translated by: Charlotte Lantery