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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,312 Please, Luke. Please, please, please. 2 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:21,771 How many cups have you had this morning? 3 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:22,731 - None. - Plus? 4 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,023 Five, but yours is better. 5 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,817 I got a kissed. And I shoplifted. 6 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:26,901 Honestly, Lorelai, 7 00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:28,903 it's not your looks that keep them away. Think about that. 8 00:00:28,986 --> 00:00:32,115 People die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. 9 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,325 People lose a foot, we pay. 10 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,534 At least you have your new slogan. 11 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,661 - Did you do something slutty? - I'm not that happy. 12 00:00:36,744 --> 00:00:38,038 People are particularly stupid today. 13 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,956 - Copper boom! - Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant! 14 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,416 - Luke can waltz? - Luke can waltz. 15 00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:43,251 I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in. 16 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,545 It'd be like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan, 17 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:46,754 but at least those guys got to be in France. 18 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,466 I am not going to Harvard. I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard! 19 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,718 I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink. 20 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:52,760 You jump, I jump, Jack. 21 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,012 Eternal damnation is what I'm risking for my rock and roll. 22 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,098 Oy with the poodles already. 23 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:58,350 Because I love you, you idiot. 24 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,435 I smell snow. 25 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,761 Hey! 26 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,722 That's how you look when you get off a plane? 27 00:01:37,805 --> 00:01:39,056 That's how you say hello? 28 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:42,560 You've been stuffed in a tin can for seven hours surrounded by people 29 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:46,022 with consumption, diphtheria, scabies, hummus dip, rabid dogs, 30 00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:49,109 drugged up children attacking your chair, stealing your change. 31 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,778 - What airline are you flying? - You should look drawn and blotchy. 32 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,364 You should be singing "I Dreamed a Dream" with a bad haircut 33 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,200 while selling yourself to a bunch of French dockworkers. 34 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,827 Instead, you look perfect. Admit it. You've been gooped. 35 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:00,995 I have not been gooped. 36 00:02:01,078 --> 00:02:03,665 You're doing yoga in the aisles in cashmere sweatpants 37 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,626 while your comfort dog watches Zoolander 2 on his watch. 38 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,545 I do blood clot prevention foot pumps 39 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,463 wearing my Yonah Schimmel Knishery baseball cap 40 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,174 while toothpaste dries up a zit on my chin. 41 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,425 Wow! Winded! 42 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,135 - Haven't done that for a while. - Felt good. 43 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,390 - I've missed you, kid. - Missed you, too. 44 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,226 - How long's it been? - Feels like years. 45 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:28,148 - Coffee and tacos. - Princess Charlotte iced tea spoons. 46 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,524 Mmm! 47 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,359 All right, shall we get it out of the way? 48 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:32,652 Might as well. 49 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,738 One day? That's all? 50 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,114 I'm sorry! 51 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:41,328 You miss Christmas and Thanksgiving and all I get is a one day visit? 52 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,620 What am I, chopped liver? 53 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,706 I have to be on the red-eye to London tomorrow. 54 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,541 - London again. - For work. 55 00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,751 ♪ And the cat's in the cradle And the silver spoon ♪ 56 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,254 - Oh, now, Emily. - Oh, wow! Nicely played. 57 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,255 All right, you win. 58 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,424 We have limited time. Should we skip the town tour? 59 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:57,469 - We can't skip the town tour. - Well, we'll keep it short. 60 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,096 - Le Chat Club closed due to rats. - Again? 61 00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,349 - We got parking meters. - Where? 62 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,975 No one would pay so they took them out. 63 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:05,142 This town is mob ruled. 64 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:08,104 Al's Pancake World won best Christmas decorations again. 65 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:10,064 It's that nativity scene with eggplant Jesus. 66 00:03:10,147 --> 00:03:12,066 - You can't beat it. - There's a debate 67 00:03:12,149 --> 00:03:13,735 about taking the phone booth out. 68 00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:14,986 Where would Superman change 69 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,904 when he comes to save our town from Ben Affleck? 70 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,866 - I made the same excellent point. - What's with the signs? 71 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,534 Ooh, I saved the best for last. 72 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:25,121 Taylor has decided that septic systems are beneath us 73 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:28,207 - and he wants to go full-on sewer. - How can we do that? 74 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:32,754 He's going door to door collecting people's septic tank horror stories. 75 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,714 - Oh, Lord! - Then, he'll compile them, 76 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:39,802 then he and a panel will stage testimonial re-enactments for the county assessor. 77 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,679 Are you telling me this to get me to stay longer? 78 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:42,847 - Is it working? - Kind of. 79 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,140 Hi, Miss Patty! 80 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,769 Rory! You look fabulous! 81 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,521 She just got off a plane! 82 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,314 Oh! That's my work phone. 83 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,360 - It's not ringing. - Yeah, I know. 84 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,694 - It's not ringing, either. - I know. 85 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,697 - You've got more burners than Omar Little. - I got a personal phone, a work phone, 86 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,409 and the phone that gets reception in Stars Hollow. Theoretically. 87 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,161 The fact that the entire town was actually constructed 88 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,415 in a giant snow globe probably has an effect on your bar count. 89 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,874 Ha! 90 00:04:09,957 --> 00:04:12,585 Hello? Hello? Um... 91 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,211 Damn! Hello? 92 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,506 You're breaking up. 93 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,550 Oh, come on. 94 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,803 Hello? 95 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:24,264 Hold on! Hello? 96 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,933 Crap! Hello? 97 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,185 Hi, can you hear me now? Can you hear me... 98 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,687 Yes! Hi! Great! 99 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,189 Um, so, how are you? 100 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,107 Hello? 101 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:38,820 I'm heading to the trees! I'm... I'm heading to the trees. 102 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,781 Okay, I'm at the trees. Hello? Hello? 103 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,951 I'm gonna try Doose's. You coming? 104 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,619 - Nah! I just hit my steps. - Okay. 105 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,246 Um, hello? 106 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,999 Are you still there? Okay, flip phone! 107 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:58,340 Hi! Sorry, it's Rory Gilmore again. I think Ingrid just... 108 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,717 Hello? Hello? 109 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,594 Hello? Crap! 110 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,846 Hello? 111 00:05:05,262 --> 00:05:06,473 Hello? 112 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,891 Oh, yes! Sure, she can. 113 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,727 Okay, on this number, please. Thank you. 114 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,145 Rory! Hey! I didn't know you were coming in today. 115 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,189 Oh, it's just a super quick in and out. 116 00:05:15,272 --> 00:05:17,274 - Cabbage. - What? Oh. 117 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,444 Come again. 118 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,571 Um, so tell me, what is going on with you? 119 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,365 - Oh, you don't wanna know. - Uh-oh. 120 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,950 - Yeah, Zach got a promotion. - My God! Why? 121 00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,994 - I don't know. I think they like him. - Poor guy. 122 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,663 Yeah, he's a route supervisor now. Has to wear a tie. 123 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,957 - I'm so sorry. - It's fairly devastating. 124 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,792 I tell him he looks like a young Leonard Cohen, 125 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,002 but he looks like his dad. 126 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,211 Sorry. 127 00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:39,631 - Yeah. - Hello? Oh, Ingrid. Finally! 128 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,009 It's so good to finally connect. 129 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,388 Lorelai, I'm glad I ran into you. 130 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,140 - Your house is that way, Kirk. - I did not get lost again. 131 00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,976 I wanted you to know that I've started a new business. 132 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,146 It's a ride share business. I call it ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber. 133 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,815 Uh-oh. There's already an Uber, Kirk. 134 00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:01,486 No, not Uber. ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber. Three "O's" instead of a "U." 135 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,821 - Okay, but it's, uh... - ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber. 136 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,198 - Right. But it's the... - ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber. 137 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,702 It's a service where people can request a ride and I will pick them up. 138 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,830 - Like Uber. - Except it's ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber. 139 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:13,998 It's the same thing. 140 00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:15,708 - No, it's not. - Kirk. 141 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,251 People use an app to call a car. 142 00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:19,336 - I have no app. - Then how do they get a car? 143 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:22,465 They call my mother, she calls me, I find a car and I pick them up. 144 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,760 - So it's a much worse version of Uber. - And it's pronounced ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber. 145 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,846 - Stop making that sound. - All right. You've got my mom's number. 146 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,973 Now if you'll excuse me... 147 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,434 - it is past Petal's bedtime. - Bye, Petal. 148 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:37,814 When did Kirk get a pig? 149 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,232 Babette heard him and Lulu talking about having a baby, 150 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,069 so the whole town chipped in. It bought us a couple of years. 151 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,403 - Very smart. - Ready? 152 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,738 Hold on. 153 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:49,867 I'm not really home till I get my Stars Hollow Gazette. 154 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,035 Christmas edition. 155 00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:54,956 Manger news, Santa's wishes, eggnog checkpoints, and... 156 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,248 the Christmas poem. 157 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,585 - Same one every year. - Every single year. 158 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,127 So good to be home. 159 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,965 What? 160 00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,550 I smell snow. 161 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:22,567 ♪ Nothing looks so pretty as ♪ 162 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,986 ♪ The winter stars a-glittering ♪ 163 00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:28,615 ♪ Shining on a freshly fallen snow ♪ 164 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,494 ♪ When the blue light of the moon ♪ 165 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:36,080 ♪ Is giving off a loving winter glow ♪ 166 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,169 ♪ Such a tender feeling when ♪ 167 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,631 ♪ The candlelight a-flickering ♪ 168 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:48,926 ♪ The ember window calls you home ♪ 169 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,096 ♪ And the fireplace is crackling ♪ 170 00:07:52,179 --> 00:07:56,058 ♪ And giving off a warming winter glow ♪ 171 00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:01,898 ♪ Summer with its nights That last forever has its charm ♪ 172 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,192 ♪ Fall with golden leaves That gather, too ♪ 173 00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:11,658 ♪ Spring is all the brighter After rip storms have blown ♪ 174 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,411 ♪ But winter has a magic of its own ♪ 175 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,254 - Got it? - Yup. 176 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,174 Are you sure? 177 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:31,761 - Oh, yes. - Come on. Let's get in out of the snow! 178 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,137 Let's go! 179 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,393 Luke's gonna be so excited to see you. 180 00:08:39,476 --> 00:08:41,688 I can't wait to see him. 181 00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,068 Hello, Rabbi. 182 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,529 Oh, Paul Anka, what is she making you wear now? 183 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,030 No, no. This one was his idea. 184 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,324 Aw, don't feel bad. She did the same thing to me. 185 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,992 - Okay, get ready. - For what? 186 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,536 - Super-proud Luke. - What? 187 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,496 Luke! It's a Christmas miracle! 188 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,333 - Ah! There she is, the New Yorker writer! - Super-proud! 189 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:03,960 It was just one Talk of the Town piece. 190 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,628 Oh, one Talk of the Town piece? Come on. 191 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,797 It was terrific. And that woman you wrote about... 192 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,216 - Naomi Shropshire. - Yes! I've never heard of her. 193 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,384 - Now I feel like I've met her. - I appreciate that. 194 00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,137 I've never read the New Yorker before, but now, every week. 195 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,263 I'm glad. 196 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,265 I subscribed to it. Who says print is dead? 197 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,977 - Only the world. - Well, what does the world... 198 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,687 - You're eating? - Just tacos. 199 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,606 - Tacos are tiny. - I'm making dinner. 200 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,940 - Wow. So I'm fat? - What? 201 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,567 - Body shaming. - I am not body shaming. 202 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,360 - Trigger warnings! - Oh, for Christ's sake. 203 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,696 - War on Christmas! - I am making two main courses 204 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,489 because you told me to make two main courses. 205 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,033 - What two main courses? - Mac and cheese, parmesan cutlets... 206 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,785 - With garlic bread? - And tater tots! 207 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:38,953 I am not making tater tots. 208 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,412 - Why not? - We need sustenance! 209 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,707 - You're eating tacos! - Tater tots go great with tacos. 210 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,166 Tater tots are great in tacos. 211 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,334 - Yes! - No! 212 00:09:45,417 --> 00:09:46,794 - Hey! I mean it! - They're organic. 213 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,254 All right, negotiation's over! 214 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,464 Put the tater tots back, finish your tacos, 215 00:09:50,547 --> 00:09:52,258 wash your hands, dinner's almost ready! 216 00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,968 Ah! And I saw you grab those mini donuts. 217 00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,261 Put 'em down right now. 218 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,805 I cannot believe the conversations I have in this room. 219 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,807 I thought cooking was supposed to be relaxing. 220 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,017 Oh, no. 221 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,936 Don't put that song on and disappear into Rory's room. Hey! 222 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,062 At least turn it down! 223 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,648 - Did my boxes get here? - Behind the rack. 224 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,732 Great! 225 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:11,903 So, you finally did it, huh? Finally gave up the Brooklyn pad? 226 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,864 I did. Lena Dunham will just have to get along without me. 227 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,532 - Are you gonna miss it? - A little. 228 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,742 I'm gonna miss it. 229 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:21,912 It had that early American tenement shtetl slash Trainspotting vibe 230 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,040 that every mother wants for her little girl. 231 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,917 It was a perfectly decent apartment. 232 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,045 I liked how you had to avoid the walls or you'd stick to them. 233 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,088 - One wall. - See, in some apartments, 234 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,715 you don't have to avoid any walls. 235 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,967 It was a great place. I just was never there. 236 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,178 Do you know how many nights I spent there this year? 237 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:38,805 - Three? Eighteen? - No. No. 238 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,222 - Forty-six? - No. 239 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,517 Is this The Price is Right? If I'm a little under I win, over, I lose? 240 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,477 I don't know exactly how many nights, okay? 241 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:47,772 It was not a lot. Now the building's going condo. 242 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,983 I'm not ready to buy a condo, so it seemed like the time to say... 243 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,860 - Bye-bye, Brooklyn. - Bye-bye, Brooklyn. 244 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,320 This box is open. 245 00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,989 - Damn that TSA! - Really? You went through my stuff? 246 00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,201 I did. And I must say, I found it very disappointing. 247 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:02,036 You found my personal items disappointing? 248 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:03,955 I thought there'd be something fun in there, 249 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,958 like a treasure map or the prequel to Huckleberry Finn 250 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,877 where Huck is a Klan leader and terrified of water. 251 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,503 I think it's kind of exciting, you know? 252 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,630 No apartment, no rent, no ties. 253 00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,507 I could crash here, I could crash at Lane's. 254 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:20,262 I feel like this is my time to be rootless and just see where life takes me, 255 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,182 and travel wherever there's a story to write. 256 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,309 I just wish I had remembered to label my boxes 257 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:27,311 because now I know where nothing is. 258 00:11:27,394 --> 00:11:29,313 My boots, my coats, my underwear... 259 00:11:29,396 --> 00:11:32,024 - You don't know where your underwear is? - Could be at Lane's. 260 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,151 You've been without your underwear since you moved? 261 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,152 Don't judge. 262 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,613 I'm Gwen freakin' Stefani. Want to borrow some underwear? 263 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,991 I'd like to stop talking about underwear. I'm looking for my lucky outfit. 264 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:44,036 Any outfit you wear without underwear will be your lucky outfit. 265 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,038 I have a big meeting with CondÃÂ(Copyright) Nast 266 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,916 and I have this look that makes me feel like Diane Sawyer. 267 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,209 Is it a Mike Nichols mask? 268 00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:52,003 I'll get it! 269 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,087 What's this? 270 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:56,883 Oh! That is a box of New Yorker magazines with your fancy piece in it. 271 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,134 Box one of six. 272 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,969 - You're kidding. - Super-proud! 273 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,387 Hey, that guy's here. 274 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:04,140 - What guy? - You know... uh, Jeffrey. 275 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,850 - Who? Who? - Allen? Billy? 276 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,227 There's nothing remotely similar about those names. 277 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,562 - You know. Him. Your guy. - Paul? 278 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,023 - Paul. Yes, Paul. - Paul's not here. 279 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,232 - Paul's here. - Who's Paul? 280 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:17,028 Paul, my... Paul, my boyfriend? Oh, crap! Paul is here! 281 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,821 - Why is Paul here? - I invited him for dinner, 282 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:22,784 and I totally forgot. Crap, crap, crap! 283 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,244 I can't believe you forgot Rory's boyfriend Paul. 284 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:28,831 You came. 285 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,750 Of course I came. 286 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,878 - For you. - So beautiful. 287 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:37,173 - And indigenous to Peru. Fun fact. - So fun. 288 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:40,259 - Hey. Look who's here. - Paul! Wow! 289 00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:41,468 - So good to see you. - You, too. 290 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,679 - Thank you for the invite. - Is your hair different? 291 00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,181 - Uh, no. - Lose some weight? 292 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,640 - Nope. - Gain some weight? 293 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,142 I'm going to put these in water. 294 00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:49,935 - Come on, Paul. - Yes, I will follow. 295 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:54,065 I've never seen that boy before. 296 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,607 - See? - They've been together for months. 297 00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,359 - I think it's been a year. - He's been to the house! 298 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:58,444 I know! 299 00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,280 He's like a superhero, but his power is that you can't remember him 300 00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:02,531 no matter how much time you spend with him. 301 00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:04,616 Kind of like every Marvel movie ever. 302 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,660 - Care for something to drink, Pete? - Paul. 303 00:13:06,743 --> 00:13:07,912 Paul. I'm... 304 00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:10,957 Pete is our, uh, dog's friend. Our dog's name is Paul. 305 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,917 - Last name Anka. - Weirdly close to my last name. 306 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,878 - Right. Very close. - This is all I could find. 307 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,963 - That'll do. - Okay. 308 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,130 - Red okay... - Paul. 309 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,967 - I got it now. Paul, red, Paul? - Red sounds good. 310 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,676 - Oh, hey, Luke. - Yeah. 311 00:13:22,759 --> 00:13:24,261 - I brought it. - You... 312 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,223 The antique wrench we talked about the last time I was here. 313 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,474 - Remember? - Uh-huh. 314 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,766 We went fishing on your boat. 315 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,269 You told me your dad owned a hardware store. Now it's a diner. 316 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,355 I told you my grandfather owned a hardware store 317 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:35,606 and I kept all of his tools? 318 00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:36,773 I remember the boat. 319 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,650 You said your dad had a wrench that he loved 320 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,861 and you wish you'd kept it. 321 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,154 My grandfather also had one that he loved and I did keep it. 322 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,031 I'll go get it. 323 00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,325 I just forgot the entire conversation we just had. 324 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:48,035 Come on, guys. 325 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,037 Thanks for inviting me over, by the way. 326 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,873 I don't get to see a lot of Rory these days. 327 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,876 At least I get to see her for our anniversary, which is great. 328 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,835 Can you believe it's two years? 329 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,837 The cotton anniversary. 330 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,465 Okay, I got it. Here we go. 331 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,718 Here it is. Look at the, uh, date on the back. 332 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,263 - Oh! And Lorelai... - Huh? 333 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,974 The virus protection software I told you about. 334 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,475 Want me to pop it on your computer? 335 00:14:11,558 --> 00:14:13,185 - Where is it? All right. - Living room. 336 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,479 It's got the Sadness stickers from Inside Out on it? 337 00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,814 - You remembered. - Okay. 338 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:21,902 - It's nice that he remembered. - It's nice that somebody remembered. 339 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,612 This is a very nice wrench. 340 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,576 - What the hell did you do here? - What? 341 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,495 The DVR is completely full. 342 00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:34,123 I have no idea what any of these things are. 343 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,625 Restless Virgins, Deadly Honeymoon... 344 00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:37,919 Lifetime Movie Channel classics. 345 00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,046 Killer Crush, Mini's First Time. 346 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,839 A rebellious girl hooks up with an escort agency 347 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,968 where her stepfather is a client. Alec Baldwin. Pre-yoga. 348 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,303 - So, keep? - Keep. 349 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,471 - Okay. Accidental Obsession. - Keep. 350 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,098 - Murder in a College Town. - Keep. 351 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:52,308 - Crimes of the Mind. - Keep! 352 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:56,520 Fatal Acquittal, Not With My Daughter, Baby Sellers, Unfinished Betrayal, 353 00:14:56,603 --> 00:14:58,940 The Girl He Met Online, The Boy He Met Online, 354 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,275 Deadly Vows, Lying Eyes, Lies He Told, 355 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:02,609 My Nanny's Secret. 356 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,861 Did the remote break? Do we only get one channel now? 357 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,822 - Where's my pajamas? - In the drawer. 358 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,532 - Ugh. Felix... - Oscar... 359 00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:11,577 I like my pajamas on the chair, all crinkled up and ready for bed, 360 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:12,744 not suffocating in a drawer. 361 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,330 Your pajamas are not puppies. 362 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,498 You should find my bedtime rituals endearing by now. 363 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,749 What's taking you so long? 364 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,211 You know, I still can't get over that piece Rory wrote. 365 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,297 Oh, really? 'Cause you've been so stingy with your praise. 366 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,382 Are those... 367 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:27,343 - Puppies! - Right. 368 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:33,390 - That is one great kid you got. - Eh, she's all right. 369 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,018 She's freaked out she's gonna hear our rollicking lovemaking. 370 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:40,314 - What are you doing? - Organizing my magazines by Kardashian. 371 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,399 - You're stalling. - I'm organizing. 372 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,401 You're not going to have your dream tonight. 373 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,154 My dirty bathroom dream? Yes, I am. 374 00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,655 Just come to bed! 375 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,657 Five nights in a row. Five nights in a row! 376 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,244 I'm looking for a bathroom and then I find one 377 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,454 and it's like the Eastern Promises steam room scene, 378 00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,373 only the stuff on the walls ain't blood. 379 00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,251 - Don't think about it. - The bathrooms are all giant. 380 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,294 There's stalls and urinals, urinals, urinals... 381 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:03,295 It's a dream! 382 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,839 Last night, it was the bathroom at the Radio City Music Hall. 383 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,174 - The Rockettes were there. - Okay. 384 00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:08,925 - They kept slipping. - I got it. 385 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,552 Let's just sleep standing up like cows. 386 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,555 You come to bed, you can watch one of these ridiculous movies. 387 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,224 - All the way through? - Yes. 388 00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:18,394 You won't turn it off when the suspicious sister, co-worker, 389 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,563 or gay best friend investigates the abandoned cabin by the lake 390 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,565 where they find proof to expose the killer 391 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,401 and they get hit in the head with a hammer? 392 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,653 - Nope. - Rory will think we're rollicking. 393 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,446 Well, no one ever said she was dumb. 394 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,995 The deal for $49 billion or about $95 per... 395 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,664 Don't touch the handle! 396 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,082 ...boards have approved the deal 397 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,876 and now begin the long regulatory process that follows. 398 00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:44,753 All of this... 399 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:56,307 ...four, five, six, seven, eight. 400 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,601 Repeat from the top. A five, six, seven, eight... 401 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:03,522 Shuffle, a three, a five, a seven and a flap. 402 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,692 Flap, flap, ball change, flap, flap, flap, again. 403 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:08,652 Shuffle! A three! 404 00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:09,861 Too loud? 405 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,573 - No. Just loud enough. - Ball change... 406 00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,908 - What you doing? - Stress tap dancing. 407 00:17:14,991 --> 00:17:17,119 Helps get out my anxieties. Keeps me calm. 408 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,538 How long have you been tapping your troubles away? 409 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:22,041 About a month. I needed something to shut my brain off. 410 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,251 I tried meditation. Tried jogging. 411 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,046 Then I read about this. Now, when I can't sleep, 412 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,672 - I get up and tap! - Cool. 413 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,508 - You know you're terrible. - Yeah, I know. 414 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,884 Six, seven and shuffle! 415 00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:34,220 - Where are you going? - Nowhere. 416 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,430 - Do not get your phone. - What are you talking about? 417 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,640 - Do not film this. - I'm checking on Paul Anka. 418 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,975 Dance numbers terrify him. 419 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,145 This is my stress relief. Do not make my stress relief stressful! 420 00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,646 - Damn it. Where is it? - I hid it. 421 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,440 You are awful. 422 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,484 You think I don't know you? I have your eyes. 423 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,026 - Fine. - You want some coffee? 424 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,696 - Yes, please. - You sure I didn't wake you up? 425 00:17:52,779 --> 00:17:54,740 Not unless you were dressed like a urinal cake. 426 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:56,908 You hungry? 427 00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,661 - 'Cause you said "cake"? - Yes. 428 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:00,912 Kind of. 429 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:09,421 - It's so nice to have you home. - I wish you were sleeping. 430 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,674 - I wish you were sleeping. - Well, I have a lot on my mind. 431 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,094 - My piece for the Atlantic fell through. - No! When? 432 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,054 - Today. That was the call that I got. - Why? 433 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,391 They just bumped it for other stuff. It happens. 434 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,725 Sorry. 435 00:18:21,808 --> 00:18:24,186 It's okay. I have a lot of irons in the fire. 436 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,356 I'm still getting a lot of good responses from the New Yorker piece so... 437 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,900 Did I tell you that I attacked Gail Collins? 438 00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:32,528 - You did not. - I was in the lobby of the Times Building, 439 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:36,240 hoping to talk to the metro editor. Suddenly, Gail Collins walks in. 440 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,575 I had met her once at the 92nd Street Y. 441 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:41,245 I wasn't expecting to see her and I was jacked up on coffee 442 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:43,372 and I just lunged at her, 443 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,832 which she interpreted as a stranger lunging at her. 444 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,584 - So sensitive. - I felt so stupid. 445 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,170 She was freaking out. She gave me her wallet. 446 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,797 - Did you keep it? - No. 447 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,965 But, I don't know, she was really nice about it. 448 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:57,344 She realized who I was and asked the security guards to get off me. 449 00:18:57,428 --> 00:19:01,140 Well, here's the upside. You definitely made an impression. 450 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,684 It's okay. I have a lot of irons in the fire. 451 00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,227 I heard. You should become a blacksmith. 452 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,978 What about you? 453 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:10,315 - Mmm... what about me? - Are you having the dreams again? 454 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,611 I'm just stressed out and kind of feeling my mortality lately. 455 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,239 - What do you mean? - The other day, a guest left a brochure 456 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,615 in their room after they checked out. 457 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,702 It was for Anthem of the Seas. So I'm flipping through, 458 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,705 looking at swimming pools and pictures of the buffet. 459 00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:28,124 Everything's planned and they have Wi-Fi and Rock of Ages 460 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:31,002 and you don't have to bring money. I found myself thinking... 461 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,005 - No. - maybe it would be nice 462 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,173 to take a cruise! 463 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,966 - No! - And then I broke a hip. 464 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,219 - You are not going on a cruise. - I know. 465 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,680 - Is everything okay with Luke? - Yeah, everything's fine. 466 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,558 I annoy him and he builds cabinets. Or that's what I think. 467 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,101 He says we need the storage. 468 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,437 Do you think it's because of Grandpa? 469 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,731 My sudden need to cruise? 470 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,734 - Yeah. - No. 471 00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:56,487 I don't know. Maybe. 472 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,530 I miss him. 473 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,412 To absent friends. 474 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,539 To absent friends. 475 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:11,877 People might say drinking coffee in the middle of the night 476 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,128 could hinder your sleep. 477 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,588 People are dumb. 478 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,692 Caesar, let's go! Where's my toast? 479 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,068 - Toaster's down. - What? 480 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:39,863 Oh, wait, it's just unplugged. Toast coming right up. 481 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,867 Over easy, scrambled soft, whites with cheese. Coffee? 482 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,077 What's the Wi-Fi password? 483 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,788 - Dinerluke. Capital "D," small "L." - Pick up! 484 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:51,625 Luke, I need to talk to you about your septic tank testimonial. 485 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,085 I'm not giving you a septic tank testimonial, Taylor. 486 00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:56,046 If you're confused by what I need, 487 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:58,757 I brought some sample testimonials to guide you. 488 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,427 I think you'll find Mimsy Frupp's description 489 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,637 of her granddaughter's disastrous day 490 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,723 jumping into fall leaves especially edifying. 491 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,561 She thought the tyke was diving into an autumnal paradise. 492 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,896 Instead she found herself submerged... 493 00:21:12,979 --> 00:21:15,774 - Taylor, order something or get out. - Fine. 494 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,819 New menu. I'll need a minute. 495 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,236 Excuse me. Password? 496 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,364 DINERDANES321. All caps. 497 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,825 - Hey, there she is! Get in here! - What about me? 498 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:26,368 Ah, you get in here, too. 499 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,370 - Should I be nervous? - As a rule, yes. 500 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:31,332 Okay. Something I want you to see. 501 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:33,334 New menus. 502 00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:34,793 Very nice. 503 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:37,045 - Notice anything? - Oh... nope. 504 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,046 Turn it over. 505 00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:43,259 - That's my New Yorker piece. Wow! - Super-proud! 506 00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:44,886 For everyone to read. 507 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,972 - Now what can I get you? - Coffee, please. 508 00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:50,266 - I have a list and I need it all to go. - You got it. 509 00:21:52,018 --> 00:21:55,146 That's my piece. Wrapped in plastic. 510 00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,566 You knew when Luke moved in with me he'd turn weird. 511 00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:01,194 Thanks for your patronage! Be sure to call my mom and rate me! 512 00:22:01,277 --> 00:22:03,364 Five stars is appreciated! 513 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,908 First official fare! 514 00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,786 That elderly woman that I successfully drove here? 515 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:13,874 That is widow Joy Puddleston from 88 Peach Tree Drive. 516 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,209 Right now, thanks to my new business, 517 00:22:16,292 --> 00:22:19,713 Widow Puddleston is only ten minutes late for chemo! 518 00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:20,797 Are you ordering? 519 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:23,509 Fudgy banana milkshake. I am flying, man! 520 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,218 - This is gonna work. - Terrific. 521 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:28,555 - This area over here would be perfect. - Perfect for what, Kirk? 522 00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:31,433 Have you heard about my new business, Luke? ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber? 523 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:32,518 Do not make that sound! 524 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:36,563 I need to find a place where, after people call, they can get picked up. 525 00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,525 - This corner would work. - That's not how Uber works. 526 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:41,317 Well, this isn't Uber, this is... 527 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:45,155 Luke, you need to control your woman. 528 00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:46,823 Oh! 529 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:48,825 Those aren't even your bagels! 530 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,577 I'm buying them new ones. 531 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,540 Oh, crap! I forgot about Paul? 532 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:57,042 You're kidding! He was at the house this whole time? 533 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,670 - Didn't you notice his car out front? - No, didn't you? 534 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,463 There you are. 535 00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,339 Hi, Paul. I'm so sorry, I just... 536 00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:06,427 It was my fault. I needed her to come look at something with me. 537 00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:09,304 I forgot to leave you a note. And it's... 538 00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:12,516 - I was about to call you. Are you hungry? - Not really. 539 00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,643 - Not really? - I'm not a breakfast person. 540 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,186 As in, you already had breakfast? 541 00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:17,896 - No. - Did you know about this? 542 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,523 I'm gonna wash my hands. Order me a tea? 543 00:23:19,606 --> 00:23:20,732 - Tea? No. - Yes. 544 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:21,983 - Go on. - Okay. 545 00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:27,197 - You have got to cut that poor boy loose. - I keep meaning to and I keep... 546 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,074 - Forgetting! - So, so sad! 547 00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:32,953 Your breakfast list, coffee to go. Have a good flight. Come back soon. 548 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,414 - And take a menu. - Thanks, Luke. 549 00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:41,002 - Bye. - Bye. 550 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:56,727 Crap, crap, crap! Ooh! 551 00:23:58,228 --> 00:23:59,771 - Hey, got the food. - Ready to go? 552 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,523 Absolutely. 553 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,487 I just don't understand it. 554 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:07,863 Before we got married, 555 00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:10,281 Frederick was more indifferent to children than I am. 556 00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:11,950 - That's not possible. - Oh, yes. 557 00:24:12,033 --> 00:24:13,326 We could be walking by the well 558 00:24:13,409 --> 00:24:15,704 that Timmy fell down and he'd throw a penny in. 559 00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:19,500 - Maybe he kept his feelings to himself. - For five years? No. 560 00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:20,959 Something happened. 561 00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:24,129 Twenty minutes after "I do," he lost his mind. 562 00:24:24,212 --> 00:24:26,422 Now all he talks about is, "Guess who's pregnant?" 563 00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:28,341 or "What school district is it in? 564 00:24:28,424 --> 00:24:30,343 You have to live in a good school district." 565 00:24:30,426 --> 00:24:33,304 And I say, "Why? Isn't that what boarding school is for? 566 00:24:33,388 --> 00:24:35,516 So you don't have to live in a good school district?" 567 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,643 I don't think that's what boarding school's for. 568 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,394 Well, it's very mystifying. 569 00:24:39,477 --> 00:24:41,605 He keeps shoving children in my arms. 570 00:24:41,688 --> 00:24:43,523 "Hold this. What do you feel?" 571 00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:46,860 "Well, now there's spittle on my Brioni suit so, rage?" 572 00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:50,531 - Why does it smell like onions? - The new pop-up crew in the kitchen. 573 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:53,366 - That's tonight? - Yes, that's tonight. 574 00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:56,745 - I hate this pop-up idea. - We have an empty dining room and kitchen. 575 00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:58,997 - What do you propose we do? - Put on a show? 576 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,208 We live in a town where every restaurant closes at 4:45. 577 00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:03,293 People need to eat. 578 00:25:03,376 --> 00:25:06,337 - What's this new chef guy's name again? - Oh, come on. 579 00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:09,132 I can't remember. It's like a million syllables long. 580 00:25:09,215 --> 00:25:10,717 Roy Choi. 581 00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:12,844 - The food truck guy. - He's not a food truck guy. 582 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:14,221 He's a guy with a food truck. 583 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:18,433 A fleet of food trucks, three restaurants and a massive online following. 584 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,352 Oh, so he tweets? He's a tweeter? 585 00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:24,230 "Hey, kids. Come grab some rad food at the Dragonfly." 586 00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:25,732 Do you even know how Twitter works? 587 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:28,652 - Oh, he's cool, right? - Yes, he seems cool. 588 00:25:28,735 --> 00:25:30,821 I hate cool. Makes me feel so uncool. 589 00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:35,784 I don't need some cool guy tweeting, making me feel uncool in my own inn. 590 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:39,037 Why on earth aren't you on Xanax? It was invented for you. 591 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,956 What's that "Kogi" tattoo on his arm about? 592 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:42,498 Kogi is the name of his business. 593 00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:45,085 So the tattoo, while not as clever as "Wino Forever," 594 00:25:45,168 --> 00:25:46,837 is at least thematically correct. 595 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,048 - We should hire a regular chef. - We should, shouldn't we? 596 00:25:50,131 --> 00:25:52,092 - How long is this pop-up thing? - Two weeks. 597 00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:53,301 - Can it be less? - No. 598 00:25:53,384 --> 00:25:55,887 - I'd like it to be less. - I don't need a child. I have you. 599 00:25:58,264 --> 00:26:00,892 Great. He's gonna set the whole place on fire. 600 00:26:00,976 --> 00:26:02,936 - Oh, hey, Lorelai. - Hey. 601 00:26:03,019 --> 00:26:05,355 This kitchen's awesome. Sookie set it up perfectly. 602 00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,982 Yes, well, Sookie's a genius. 603 00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:08,650 - What is all this? - You like abalone? 604 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:12,195 - Is this a trick question? - No. Abalone is delicious. 605 00:26:12,278 --> 00:26:15,240 I'm doing a green pea congee with fried shallots, spring onions, 606 00:26:15,323 --> 00:26:18,619 cilantro, chili oil and abalone. Oh, I meant to ask. 607 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:20,912 Can I screw with the dining room? Make it less granny? 608 00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:22,580 - Uh, no. - Problem. No problem. 609 00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:24,374 De-granny the place. 610 00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:27,418 Go nuts. I hated my grandmother. Horrible woman. 611 00:26:27,502 --> 00:26:30,672 But we are thrilled that you are here. And she's not. 612 00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:32,841 All right, come on, you guys. Let's go. 613 00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:34,384 Thank you. 614 00:26:34,467 --> 00:26:37,929 Abalone! Yay! 615 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,390 Will you relax, please? 616 00:26:40,473 --> 00:26:43,018 Between you and Frederick, I'm going to have a stroke. 617 00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:44,686 - Where is it? - What? 618 00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:46,688 The coffeemaker. Where is the coffeemaker? 619 00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,732 - Uh... - It was right here yesterday! 620 00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:51,818 - It was right here! Roy! - Uh, I... Wait... 621 00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:56,281 Roy! Um, Roy? Where's the coffee machine? 622 00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:59,534 I moved it. I needed counter space. Eduardo can make you a coffee. 623 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:02,245 - How? Is Eduardo magic? - He makes a stovetop version... 624 00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,371 - Eh, eh. - It really is... 625 00:27:03,454 --> 00:27:04,956 - Eh, eh, eh, eh. - I can move it back. 626 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,958 I am so sorry, but this isn't gonna to work. 627 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:08,084 - Michel! - I'm right here. 628 00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:12,130 Oh, sorry. Uh, Michel, call over to Momo's and see if they can accommodate 629 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:14,590 a crazy cool congee extravaganza. 630 00:27:14,674 --> 00:27:16,801 Thank you. It's been a pleasure. 631 00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:20,596 Louis here is gonna walk you over to Momo's Tires and get you settled. 632 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,767 - Wait, it's a tire store? - Buh-bye. Thank you. 633 00:27:25,226 --> 00:27:26,269 What, Michel? 634 00:27:26,352 --> 00:27:28,939 At least you were nicer than you were to Anthony Bourdain. 635 00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:30,440 Bourdain parked in Sookie's spot. 636 00:27:30,523 --> 00:27:33,651 Now once again, we have an empty kitchen. 637 00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:34,820 We will find a full-time chef. 638 00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:35,946 - No, we won't. - Yes, we will. 639 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,238 You think no one can cook like her. 640 00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:38,824 - No one can. - April Bloomfield? 641 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:40,075 - Too much pork. - Alice Waters. 642 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,118 - Little flighty. - David Chang? 643 00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,704 Al's does the same thing. 644 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:46,456 Al's Pancake World does not do the same thing as David Chang. 645 00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:49,000 - It has to be right. - You miss her? Fine. I don't. 646 00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:51,044 - She abandoned us. - She did not abandon us. 647 00:27:51,127 --> 00:27:53,296 A six month sabbatical. That's what she said. 648 00:27:53,379 --> 00:27:55,048 She was going to clear her head, 649 00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:56,883 come up with new recipes and then be back. 650 00:27:56,966 --> 00:28:00,345 - Well, that was a year ago. - What can I say? She found a calling. 651 00:28:00,428 --> 00:28:02,388 - Really. What's her calling? - Michel. 652 00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:05,225 I'm curious. Describe what she's doing up in the woods? 653 00:28:05,308 --> 00:28:07,477 She's working with Dan Barber at Blue Hill Farm. 654 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,561 Doing? 655 00:28:08,644 --> 00:28:10,856 She is helping him develop food-growing techniques 656 00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:13,483 and cultivating the evolution of fruits and vegetables, 657 00:28:13,566 --> 00:28:16,486 which helps the people who eat them and... 658 00:28:16,569 --> 00:28:19,322 I don't know. They're saving the world. It's on the website. 659 00:28:19,405 --> 00:28:22,075 No, she's squatting in a cabin with no phone service, 660 00:28:22,158 --> 00:28:24,285 trying to grow a pineapple out of a coat rack! 661 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,954 She's not saving the world. 662 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:28,414 She just found a way to never shave her legs again. 663 00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:29,750 Ooh! Hi, Gypsy! 664 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:31,793 - I have good news. - Great! What? 665 00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:34,670 Oh, Lorelai. Damn, I dialed the wrong number. 666 00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:37,340 - I'll call you back. - Wait! When can I get my car? 667 00:28:37,423 --> 00:28:40,927 I'm waiting for a part. It's coming in a DeLorean from 1983. 668 00:28:41,010 --> 00:28:43,847 - I have to go to Hartford tonight. - I don't know what to tell you. 669 00:28:43,930 --> 00:28:46,767 Oh, wait, yes I do. Buy a new car. 670 00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:48,518 - Thanks. Great. - I hate this one. 671 00:28:48,601 --> 00:28:50,061 - It's very old. - I got it. 672 00:28:50,145 --> 00:28:52,773 - But it's fun to kick. - Bye, Gypsy. 673 00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:00,947 Hi, Mrs. Gleason? 674 00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:04,284 Hey, Kirk? It's freezing back here. 675 00:29:04,367 --> 00:29:06,912 Oh, that's probably because I vented the floor. 676 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,413 - Pardon? - The floor. 677 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,623 I drilled a few holes in the floor. 678 00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:13,585 Was there an explanation with that or... 679 00:29:13,668 --> 00:29:15,711 Two customers passed out last week. 680 00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:18,631 They were old, so it could've just been old people passing out. 681 00:29:18,715 --> 00:29:21,885 Or carbon monoxide. I just thought better safe than sorry. 682 00:29:22,802 --> 00:29:25,430 - Would you like some water? - Yes. That would be nice. 683 00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:28,433 Here, could you... 684 00:29:28,516 --> 00:29:31,770 - Oh, uh, okay. - And how about some music? 685 00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:36,191 The radio was stolen, but I'm happy to sing any song you request... 686 00:29:36,274 --> 00:29:37,776 as long as it's by the Carpenters. 687 00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,611 - How about something by the Carpenters? - Good choice. 688 00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:45,826 ♪ Such a feeling's coming over me ♪ 689 00:29:45,909 --> 00:29:50,330 ♪ There is wonder In most everything I see ♪ 690 00:29:50,413 --> 00:29:52,623 ♪ Not a cloud in the sky ♪ 691 00:29:52,707 --> 00:29:55,043 ♪ Now the sun is in my eye ♪ 692 00:29:55,126 --> 00:29:59,589 ♪ And I won't be surprised If it's a dream ♪ 693 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,067 Uh, well, thanks, Kirk. 694 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:20,735 I'm not there yet. 695 00:30:23,154 --> 00:30:25,949 - You know, I think I'm okay. - It's door-to-door service. 696 00:30:26,032 --> 00:30:29,702 - Well, I won't tell if you don't. - I still have to charge the same price. 697 00:30:29,785 --> 00:30:32,455 That's fine, Kirk. 698 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,876 - You have arrived! - Bye, Kirk. 699 00:30:41,422 --> 00:30:42,883 Oh, hola! Hello. 700 00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:45,886 Hi. Um, uh, I'm Lorelai. 701 00:30:45,969 --> 00:30:47,137 Emily's, um... 702 00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:51,432 No, no, no. I don't think Rory's here yet. 703 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,146 Um, my, uh, daughter, that's... That's her. 704 00:30:56,229 --> 00:30:57,981 Ah! 705 00:30:58,064 --> 00:31:00,358 She's not and I'm not gonna be flying solo tonight, 706 00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:01,985 - so I'm gonna wait outside. - Oh! 707 00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:04,529 But don't say anything to, uh, Mrs. Gilmore. 708 00:31:04,612 --> 00:31:06,489 - Oh. - Okay? Shh. Shh. 709 00:31:06,573 --> 00:31:08,032 - Okay. - Okay. Thank you. 710 00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,659 Oh... 711 00:31:11,619 --> 00:31:12,913 Oh, thank God! 712 00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:16,749 Hey, you promised you'd be here right at 7:00. 713 00:31:16,832 --> 00:31:18,543 - It's 7:05. - Apology accepted. 714 00:31:18,626 --> 00:31:21,129 - Why are you out here? It's freezing. - 'Cause we're a team. 715 00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:22,964 Would Dean Martin go in without Jerry Lewis? 716 00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:24,757 No, but Jerry Lewis would go in without Dean. 717 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:25,926 Am I Jerry Lewis? 718 00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,802 - I'm ringing the doorbell. - Why am I Jerry Lewis? 719 00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:29,470 I don't need to answer that. 720 00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:31,264 Hmm. Hi, here's Rory. 721 00:31:31,347 --> 00:31:33,391 Ah! 722 00:31:33,474 --> 00:31:34,809 Right. 723 00:31:35,393 --> 00:31:39,480 Rory, there you are. It is so good to see you. 724 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:42,067 Hi, Grandma. It's so good to see you. How are you? 725 00:31:42,150 --> 00:31:43,944 Well, I am a Gilmore. 726 00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:47,697 My goodness, you look absolutely radiant. 727 00:31:47,780 --> 00:31:50,491 Well, she is a Gilmore. And 32, which helps. 728 00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:53,119 - I think you must be in love. - Hi, Mom. 729 00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:55,997 Don't track mud in here. I had the floors waxed. 730 00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:57,415 You and I had a better rapport. 731 00:31:57,498 --> 00:32:00,001 Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore. 732 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:03,963 Oh, good, good. In here. I need light bulbs. 733 00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,798 This, there. You see... 734 00:32:05,881 --> 00:32:07,133 - There and there. - Ah. 735 00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:09,760 - The bulbs... the bulbs are out. - Hmm. 736 00:32:09,844 --> 00:32:10,971 - No problem. - Yeah? 737 00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:13,932 And now... And in here... 738 00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:15,141 that sconce... 739 00:32:15,225 --> 00:32:18,894 and then over the picture, the light. Over here, the picture... 740 00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:21,982 The... the lights over the picture? Yes? 741 00:32:22,065 --> 00:32:23,399 Did you get a new handyman, Mom? 742 00:32:25,276 --> 00:32:27,612 - Cyrano? - Grandma, did you hire a new handyman? 743 00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:29,197 Yes. That's Alejandro. 744 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,408 He's Berta's husband and he's amazing. He can fix anything. 745 00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:34,619 I'm usually wary about hiring husbands. 746 00:32:34,702 --> 00:32:36,912 I hired a maid once whose husband was a gardener. 747 00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:40,375 He got angry with her one day and decapitated one of my topiaries. 748 00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:43,669 Hmm. Was it the one of Spiro Agnew? 749 00:32:45,713 --> 00:32:47,215 - Ask her, ask her. - Uh, Grandma... 750 00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:49,425 just wondering... Who are the kids? 751 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:52,887 - Oh, they're Berta's children, I think. - You think? 752 00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:55,723 They appeared when she did, so I put two and two together. 753 00:32:55,806 --> 00:32:57,892 You have an entire family in your house 754 00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,894 and you're not sure if they're actually a family? 755 00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,354 So what, Lorelai? 756 00:33:01,437 --> 00:33:03,856 I have a house. They needed a place to live. 757 00:33:03,940 --> 00:33:05,525 They work for me. Problem? 758 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:07,485 No. Yes. All good. You're right. 759 00:33:07,568 --> 00:33:11,990 Let's go sit and have martinis. You can tell me all about this new boy. 760 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:15,660 Well, he's not new. We've been going out about two years. 761 00:33:15,743 --> 00:33:17,870 - Really? I must meet him. - Oh, you did. 762 00:33:17,953 --> 00:33:19,914 Really? I'm sorry. I'll meet him again. 763 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:22,042 - Won't matter. - Come sit. 764 00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,793 What? 765 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:28,839 - Uh, Mom? - Yes? 766 00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:32,177 - Um... - Oh, yes. 767 00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:33,678 Isn't it wonderful? 768 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:37,015 It's... 769 00:33:37,098 --> 00:33:39,350 It's... it's... 770 00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:40,643 It's... 771 00:33:41,436 --> 00:33:42,520 The whole wall! 772 00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:45,273 I had it painted from one of my favorite pictures of him. 773 00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:46,899 - Do you like it? - Yes. 774 00:33:46,982 --> 00:33:48,151 Sure. 775 00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:54,157 It's so... big. 776 00:33:54,657 --> 00:33:58,453 It's a Marco Toretti. His specialty is large canvases. 777 00:33:58,536 --> 00:34:00,621 Well, he did himself proud. 778 00:34:01,122 --> 00:34:04,959 - And... you wanted it that big, right? - Of course I did. 779 00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:07,212 'Cause it's a... a real presence. 780 00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:09,213 As was your father. Olive? 781 00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:11,257 And he came and measured the space? 782 00:34:11,341 --> 00:34:12,883 - Who? - Mario Andretti? 783 00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:14,886 Marco Toretti. Yes, he did. Why? 784 00:34:14,969 --> 00:34:17,472 - No reason. - I wanted something dramatic. 785 00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:18,806 And you got it. 786 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:20,558 - I did. - Okay. 787 00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:23,102 - Cheers. - Cheers. 788 00:34:28,691 --> 00:34:30,068 Oh, come on, Mom. Admit it. 789 00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:32,237 - Admit what? - You Spinal Tapped the painting. 790 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,904 - What? - You Spinal Tapped the painting. 791 00:34:33,988 --> 00:34:37,700 You gave them the wrong dimensions and now you are trying to pretend 792 00:34:37,783 --> 00:34:40,328 that massive portrait is something you intended. 793 00:34:40,411 --> 00:34:42,247 - It was. Yes. - It was? 794 00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:45,541 You intended for Dad's eyebrow and my forearm to be the same length? 795 00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:47,877 - Yes. - It's 18-feet tall! 796 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,295 It's not 18-feet tall. 797 00:34:49,378 --> 00:34:51,672 - It looks 18 feet-tall. - Should I get a tape measure? 798 00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:53,007 - No. - I can get a tape measure. 799 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:55,760 - Do not get a tape measure. - Alejandro has one. 800 00:34:55,843 --> 00:34:59,180 I don't believe you wanted a portrait of Dad so massive, 801 00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:01,224 - it doesn't fit on the wall! - Well, I did. 802 00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:04,810 A portrait so big, Peter Jackson could hang it at the Argonath. 803 00:35:04,894 --> 00:35:07,522 - Yes, he could. - You don't know what the Argonath is! 804 00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:09,607 Doesn't matter. It's a nice picture of Grandpa. 805 00:35:09,690 --> 00:35:11,859 Mom. Do it over. 806 00:35:11,942 --> 00:35:13,944 Get what you want. You have the money. 807 00:35:14,028 --> 00:35:16,906 - This is what I want. - I swear it can't be. 808 00:35:16,989 --> 00:35:18,366 - Why not? - Because! Look at it. 809 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:22,162 It's nuts! "Wizard, you shall not pass!" Seriously! 810 00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:24,789 Fine! I made a mistake! Are you happy? 811 00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:27,750 I gave them the wrong dimensions, and they screwed it up. 812 00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:29,585 I'm a screw-up! I admit it! 813 00:35:29,669 --> 00:35:34,715 Just please, don't let this be the only thing you remember to say at my funeral! 814 00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:39,887 So... 815 00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:42,723 Yes? 816 00:35:43,849 --> 00:35:47,102 Did I tell you what happened at the funeral after you left? 817 00:35:47,187 --> 00:35:49,397 Why, no, you didn't. 818 00:35:50,731 --> 00:35:52,316 Because something did. 819 00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:29,455 So nice of you to come. You're in Florida now, aren't you? 820 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:32,833 We are. You should come visit us when things calm down a bit. 821 00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,919 I'll do that. I promise. 822 00:37:39,006 --> 00:37:40,883 - Beautiful service, Emily. - Thank you. 823 00:37:42,176 --> 00:37:44,637 - I'm all right, Rory. - Okay. 824 00:37:45,888 --> 00:37:48,433 - I really am all right. - I know. 825 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:51,436 Lorelai. 826 00:37:52,353 --> 00:37:55,690 Jason Stiles, as I live and breathe. 827 00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:58,443 You look like the hottest Italian widow I have ever seen. 828 00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,861 It's nice that you came. 829 00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:03,656 Your father was a lion. You know that. 830 00:38:03,739 --> 00:38:06,075 I do. 831 00:38:06,158 --> 00:38:07,993 I'm deeply sorry. 832 00:38:08,577 --> 00:38:11,831 At least it was sudden. Mom didn't have to watch him fade away. 833 00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:14,083 Have you seen my mother by the way? 834 00:38:14,166 --> 00:38:18,296 I've been successfully keeping a living room's worth of space between us. 835 00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:19,755 She's in hostess mode. 836 00:38:19,839 --> 00:38:21,507 At worst, she'll send you home with shrimp. 837 00:38:21,590 --> 00:38:24,260 - To which I'm allergic. - Thus fulfilling her devious plan. 838 00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:27,930 - You happy? - Right now or... 839 00:38:30,182 --> 00:38:31,183 Are you happy? 840 00:38:32,893 --> 00:38:33,811 Yes. 841 00:38:35,145 --> 00:38:36,564 Umlauts. 842 00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:38,691 Digger. 843 00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:47,992 What you doin'? 844 00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:50,370 Oh, there was a screw loose in the heating vent. 845 00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,954 I didn't want it to fall out. 846 00:38:52,037 --> 00:38:54,164 Uh-huh. Did you service the boiler yet? 847 00:38:54,248 --> 00:38:56,376 It was just the one screw. That's it. 848 00:38:56,459 --> 00:38:57,627 Garbage disposal working now? 849 00:38:57,710 --> 00:39:00,838 I just saw it like that and I had this with me so... 850 00:39:00,921 --> 00:39:02,297 - And the rain gutters? - Well... 851 00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:07,219 You can't leave them clogged like that. The water gets in the house. 852 00:39:07,302 --> 00:39:09,847 I can't help it. Funerals make me nervous. 853 00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:10,973 Here. 854 00:39:11,056 --> 00:39:12,475 This is such a big house 855 00:39:12,558 --> 00:39:13,643 and things go wrong all the time. 856 00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:15,395 But I could have my husband fix everything. 857 00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:17,438 And we could move in here with you so you would not be so alone 858 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:19,148 and we can take care of everything. 859 00:39:19,231 --> 00:39:20,525 - Everything. - Sure. 860 00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:22,151 You will like my husband. 861 00:39:22,234 --> 00:39:23,318 He's very tall and quiet. 862 00:39:23,403 --> 00:39:24,820 - Okay? - Sure. 863 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:26,781 Oh, SeÃÂ±ora Gilmore, don't worry. 864 00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:30,785 Fine. Just take that to the kitchen? 865 00:39:31,744 --> 00:39:34,204 - What language is that? - I do not know. 866 00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,289 I thought it was Spanish, 867 00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:37,958 but I had the gardener tell her to come in early one day 868 00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:40,335 and he told me she wasn't speaking Spanish, 869 00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:41,837 It took me a while to understand 870 00:39:41,921 --> 00:39:44,882 because I need the pool man to translate for the gardener. 871 00:39:44,965 --> 00:39:47,760 - Hey, time to get going, kid. - Oh, shoot! 872 00:39:47,843 --> 00:39:49,595 I have to get to the airport! 873 00:39:49,679 --> 00:39:51,472 My goodness, so dramatic. 874 00:39:51,556 --> 00:39:54,016 Please tell your daughter I'm going to be fine. 875 00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:57,728 - The two of you can just run along. - Oh, no. I'm gonna have Luke drive her. 876 00:39:57,812 --> 00:40:00,064 - You're staying? - Yeah. 877 00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:01,857 All right. 878 00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:03,526 Grandma... 879 00:40:03,609 --> 00:40:05,235 You made him very proud. 880 00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:07,905 I will call you when I get to London. 881 00:40:07,988 --> 00:40:09,907 Emily, everything's in good shape here. 882 00:40:09,990 --> 00:40:11,451 - I'm sorry? - Just send her your bill. 883 00:40:11,534 --> 00:40:13,327 Right. So... 884 00:40:14,745 --> 00:40:17,457 Thank you, Luke. Drive safe now. 885 00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:18,749 Okay, love you. 886 00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:20,710 Ditto. Bye, guys. 887 00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:25,923 So... scotch? 888 00:40:26,882 --> 00:40:27,883 God, yes. 889 00:41:03,794 --> 00:41:05,921 One of his favorites. 890 00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:08,090 A classic for a classic. 891 00:41:08,173 --> 00:41:09,341 Hear, hear. 892 00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:15,556 Well, I know it's getting late 893 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,183 and I know some of you have a very long ride home. 894 00:41:19,101 --> 00:41:22,688 I want to thank you for your friendship and for being here. 895 00:41:23,523 --> 00:41:25,525 Richard loved you all very much. 896 00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:29,069 But before we all go our separate ways, 897 00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:32,698 I thought we could go around and everyone could stand up 898 00:41:32,782 --> 00:41:35,284 and tell a favorite story about Richard. 899 00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:37,953 What did she just say? 900 00:41:38,037 --> 00:41:40,665 I know there are hundreds to choose from. 901 00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:43,918 But too bad, I'm going to limit you to just one. 902 00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:45,335 The best one. 903 00:41:45,419 --> 00:41:49,298 The one that most sums up the Richard Gilmore you know and love. 904 00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:51,466 Let's start here. Jack? 905 00:41:53,761 --> 00:41:57,723 Well, Richard and I go back, um, to Yale. 906 00:41:57,807 --> 00:42:01,060 - We both went there... - Excuse me. Please switch places with me. 907 00:42:01,143 --> 00:42:02,562 - What? - There's a draft. 908 00:42:02,645 --> 00:42:05,272 - We're outside. - Yeah, don't wanna go next. 909 00:42:05,355 --> 00:42:10,528 So, I decide to sneak a pair of black lacy women's unmentionables 910 00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:12,655 into his locker for everyone to see. 911 00:42:12,738 --> 00:42:15,199 And so, one day after polo practice, 912 00:42:15,282 --> 00:42:18,869 I'm at the locker and I'm trying to pick the lock so that I can leave 913 00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:21,330 the unmentionables there, and suddenly, 914 00:42:21,413 --> 00:42:25,459 I look up and I see him standing there across the way at my locker 915 00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:29,296 also holding a pair of black lacy knickers. 916 00:42:29,379 --> 00:42:32,967 And he sees me and we look at each other 917 00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:35,385 holding these women's underpants. 918 00:42:35,469 --> 00:42:36,971 So finally, Richard says, 919 00:42:37,054 --> 00:42:41,516 "Well, we can't possibly both be in black." 920 00:42:45,813 --> 00:42:46,856 Wonderful. 921 00:42:46,939 --> 00:42:48,440 Franklin? 922 00:42:50,776 --> 00:42:53,571 He cheated at cards. 923 00:42:55,740 --> 00:42:57,324 Only with you, Franklin. 924 00:42:57,407 --> 00:43:00,703 One day, I'd just got myself a brand new Jaguar. 925 00:43:00,786 --> 00:43:04,081 Richard said, "Let's play for pinks." 926 00:43:04,164 --> 00:43:05,625 So I say, "Now, look here, Gilmore. 927 00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:09,294 You keep your hands off my new car." 928 00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:11,797 And he smiles and says, "Make me." 929 00:43:13,215 --> 00:43:14,592 And next we have... 930 00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,677 Oh, looks like Martin's asleep. 931 00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:17,803 Lorelai? 932 00:43:19,346 --> 00:43:21,515 - What? - You're up. 933 00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:23,058 No. No, no. 934 00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:24,769 Let's... let's... 935 00:43:24,852 --> 00:43:27,688 We can wake Martin up, huh? 936 00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:31,191 Hey, Marty. Marty. Babe Paley's in the corner. 937 00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:32,442 - Lorelai. - Hmm? 938 00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,028 Just go. 939 00:43:35,237 --> 00:43:37,615 Uh... uh... 940 00:43:38,573 --> 00:43:41,827 The best story... best story. 941 00:43:41,910 --> 00:43:44,538 There's so many great... No... no one else wants to go? 942 00:43:45,289 --> 00:43:48,042 Nope? They don't because it's my turn. 943 00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:49,835 So, um, okay... 944 00:43:49,919 --> 00:43:53,798 I'm ten, and I ask Dad if... 945 00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:58,052 to play hide and seek, and I went and hid in his steamer trunk, 946 00:43:58,135 --> 00:44:00,012 and he left and went to Holland. 947 00:44:02,264 --> 00:44:04,308 I'm sorry. No, it was Belgium. 948 00:44:04,892 --> 00:44:07,353 Or... oh, uh, I'm 15, 949 00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:12,107 and we were having our, um, Gilmore Fourth of July party 950 00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:14,652 and Dad was dressed as Paul Revere. 951 00:44:14,735 --> 00:44:18,906 And I guess I was supposed to be, um, greeting people 952 00:44:18,989 --> 00:44:20,615 or playing the flute with a peg leg, 953 00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:24,119 so he came looking for me and he burst into the pool house 954 00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:27,998 where I was on the couch with Teddy Wiedemier III, 955 00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:31,543 and we had just finished, uh... 956 00:44:31,626 --> 00:44:34,629 "The British are coming! The British are..." Anyhow, you get it. 957 00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:38,342 Dad's livid and he's yelling, "Emily, our daughter's losing her virginity 958 00:44:38,425 --> 00:44:40,552 five feet away from the president of J.P. Morgan," 959 00:44:40,635 --> 00:44:42,304 which was embarrassing and not true, 960 00:44:42,387 --> 00:44:44,598 because that ship had sailed a long time ago, 961 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:47,142 like NiÃÂ±a, Pinta, Santa Maria time ago, 962 00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,686 if you know what I mean. 963 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,230 So... 964 00:44:52,982 --> 00:44:56,610 Oh, I'm sorry, it was not Belgium. It was Croatia. 965 00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:12,793 It was wonderful seeing you again. 966 00:45:12,877 --> 00:45:15,254 We should get together next month maybe. Can we? 967 00:45:15,337 --> 00:45:16,463 I'd love to. 968 00:45:16,546 --> 00:45:18,924 All right now, you all drive carefully. 969 00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:20,009 Thank you so much. 970 00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:23,220 - Good night. - Good night. 971 00:45:38,318 --> 00:45:39,528 I'm sorry. 972 00:45:46,451 --> 00:45:47,995 You took me by surprise. 973 00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:49,163 Not another word. 974 00:45:52,499 --> 00:45:54,251 It was late and there was scotch. 975 00:45:54,334 --> 00:45:56,086 Lorelai, stop talking. 976 00:46:00,841 --> 00:46:02,593 I didn't mean to... 977 00:46:03,427 --> 00:46:04,511 Don't follow. 978 00:46:10,559 --> 00:46:11,560 Mom... 979 00:46:13,562 --> 00:46:14,605 Mom... 980 00:46:16,606 --> 00:46:18,067 Please, come back. 981 00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:21,486 I didn't do it on purpose. I had a brain freeze. I panicked. 982 00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:22,488 Mom. 983 00:46:23,113 --> 00:46:26,826 - You two start with the silver. - I didn't know there'd be a... test. 984 00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:28,410 A test? 985 00:46:28,493 --> 00:46:30,162 - Yes. - You didn't know there'd be a test? 986 00:46:30,245 --> 00:46:33,040 - Is that what you said to me? - I also said I'm sorry. 987 00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:34,124 - Did you? - Yes. 988 00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:35,292 - Did you? - Yes. 989 00:46:35,375 --> 00:46:37,752 - Did you really? - You're making me doubt it now... 990 00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:39,296 I asked you for a story. 991 00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:42,716 "Oh, there was a time when Dad bought me a doll. I loved this doll." 992 00:46:42,799 --> 00:46:45,886 Something like that. Get out! Now! 993 00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:50,557 - "I remember when he took me to the park." - He didn't take me to a park. 994 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,142 - The zoo. - That either. 995 00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:55,562 The store! The club! Kathmandu! I don't give a damn where he took you. 996 00:46:55,645 --> 00:46:58,941 All I wanted was a fond anecdote from his only daughter 997 00:46:59,024 --> 00:47:03,403 and what I got was a rambling diatribe on being abandoned in a steamer trunk. 998 00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,906 You have nothing but contempt for this family. 999 00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:06,866 That is not true. 1000 00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:09,493 What did we do to fill you with such contempt? 1001 00:47:09,576 --> 00:47:12,537 Love you? Support you? Love Rory? Support Rory? 1002 00:47:12,621 --> 00:47:14,206 I'm not filled with contempt. 1003 00:47:14,289 --> 00:47:17,001 All my other friends have children who worship them, 1004 00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:18,543 who call them every day, 1005 00:47:18,627 --> 00:47:21,005 who take pride in the family name and traditions. 1006 00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:22,089 I have pride. 1007 00:47:22,172 --> 00:47:25,009 Your father was a great man. 1008 00:47:25,092 --> 00:47:26,385 A pillar of the community. 1009 00:47:26,468 --> 00:47:28,762 - A man amongst men. - I know. 1010 00:47:28,845 --> 00:47:31,348 And you dishonor him today like this in his own house. 1011 00:47:31,431 --> 00:47:33,058 I didn't mean to dishonor him. 1012 00:47:33,142 --> 00:47:35,310 What did you mean to do? Break my heart in public? 1013 00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:37,980 - No fun doing it in private anymore? - Mom. 1014 00:47:38,063 --> 00:47:42,609 I know that you are in massive pain. Believe it or not, I'm in pain, too. 1015 00:47:42,692 --> 00:47:46,155 I'm tired and my head is spinning, and I haven't eaten in two days. 1016 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,323 - You? Not eaten? Please. - Yes, me! 1017 00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:51,160 I'm surprised you didn't have a pizza delivered during "Ave Maria." 1018 00:47:51,243 --> 00:47:54,663 Well, I haven't eaten and I drank my weight in single malt scotch. 1019 00:47:54,746 --> 00:47:56,665 I screwed up. I made a mistake. 1020 00:47:56,748 --> 00:47:58,542 That was premeditated. 1021 00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:01,628 How could it be premeditated if I didn't know it was coming? 1022 00:48:01,711 --> 00:48:05,340 You never do anything unless it's what you want to do. You never have. 1023 00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:08,093 You blow through life like a natural disaster, 1024 00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:10,512 knocking down everything and everyone in your path. 1025 00:48:10,595 --> 00:48:13,473 - Did Luke know what he was getting into? - Don't. 1026 00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:15,017 Did you ever ask him what he wanted? 1027 00:48:15,100 --> 00:48:17,686 Where he wanted to live? If he wanted children? 1028 00:48:17,769 --> 00:48:19,813 I'm sure that didn't matter to Lorelai Gilmore. 1029 00:48:19,896 --> 00:48:22,566 Nothing matters to her except what she wants and feels. 1030 00:48:22,649 --> 00:48:25,402 God help you if she thinks you've wronged her. 1031 00:48:25,485 --> 00:48:29,364 She will hold onto that grudge forever waiting to get back at you. 1032 00:48:29,448 --> 00:48:34,453 I made a mistake! A goddamn mistake! You've never let me make a mistake ever. 1033 00:48:34,536 --> 00:48:37,622 Not once in my life, which is how we always find ourselves here. 1034 00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:39,916 - Where? - Standing in the middle of this room 1035 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,501 yelling at each other like idiots! 1036 00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:45,047 How dare you call me an idiot! I just lost my husband! 1037 00:48:45,130 --> 00:48:47,007 I just lost my father! 1038 00:48:47,091 --> 00:48:48,550 And you couldn't care less! 1039 00:48:48,633 --> 00:48:51,220 That's horrible. 1040 00:48:52,887 --> 00:48:54,139 You're horrible. 1041 00:48:54,222 --> 00:48:55,349 Get out! 1042 00:48:55,932 --> 00:48:58,518 First the help, then me. Seems about right. 1043 00:48:58,602 --> 00:48:59,811 Go home! 1044 00:48:59,895 --> 00:49:02,940 Go back to your beloved town with its carnies and misfits. 1045 00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:06,610 Tell them how your intolerable mother yelled at you at your father's funeral. 1046 00:49:06,693 --> 00:49:09,613 They can all console you and tell you what a witch I am 1047 00:49:09,696 --> 00:49:11,031 and how perfect you are! 1048 00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:15,702 Full freakin' circle. 1049 00:49:20,916 --> 00:49:23,293 You couldn't have just said he was well-read? 1050 00:49:23,585 --> 00:49:26,838 - I know. - "My father. Boy, did he love books." 1051 00:49:26,921 --> 00:49:28,257 I know, I know. 1052 00:49:28,340 --> 00:49:30,717 "And stamps. Whoo, that stamp collection." 1053 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,844 I was under a lot of pressure. You weren't there. 1054 00:49:32,927 --> 00:49:35,097 And how did you neglect to tell me this? 1055 00:49:35,180 --> 00:49:37,766 - Oh, I didn't think she was mad anymore. - You didn't? 1056 00:49:37,849 --> 00:49:40,602 Well, I assumed she was, because she hadn't answered 1057 00:49:40,685 --> 00:49:43,522 any of my calls or e-mails for the last four months, 1058 00:49:43,605 --> 00:49:45,524 but I thought she'd hide it in front of you. 1059 00:49:45,607 --> 00:49:47,276 Because that's ever happened. 1060 00:49:50,529 --> 00:49:53,490 What could possibly elicit that kind of smile in this house? 1061 00:49:54,491 --> 00:49:56,034 It smells meaty. 1062 00:49:56,118 --> 00:49:57,786 Yes, but what kind of meat? 1063 00:49:57,869 --> 00:49:59,954 And there's cheese, and layers of... 1064 00:50:00,872 --> 00:50:02,624 - It's crunchy. - Huh. 1065 00:50:02,707 --> 00:50:05,794 No, wait, it's smooshy. It's crunchy and smooshy. 1066 00:50:05,877 --> 00:50:09,548 - What's crunchy and smooshy? - Peanut butter? Or badly mixed cement? 1067 00:50:09,631 --> 00:50:13,093 So we've got meat, cheese, peanut butter or badly mixed cement. 1068 00:50:13,177 --> 00:50:14,761 For God's sake, just eat it. 1069 00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:17,055 I'll tell you what, I'll dive in first. 1070 00:50:17,139 --> 00:50:20,184 Mom always made me taste her food before she'd eat a bite. 1071 00:50:22,602 --> 00:50:25,980 Mmm. Delicious. And it could be peanut butter. 1072 00:50:26,065 --> 00:50:27,691 - Oh, yeah. - Cool. 1073 00:50:27,774 --> 00:50:30,819 I appreciate you inviting me to dinner. It was harrowing out there. 1074 00:50:31,403 --> 00:50:32,320 Who is this? 1075 00:50:32,404 --> 00:50:34,573 Kirk, your car broke down at the end of the driveway. 1076 00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:37,033 It's lucky for me I'm a very loud crier. 1077 00:50:37,117 --> 00:50:40,329 If your maid hadn't heard my sobs, I don't know what would've happened. 1078 00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:43,540 - You would've run out of Kleenex. - It's nice we can joke about it now. 1079 00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,293 Thanks for letting me stash some boxes here, Grandma. 1080 00:50:46,376 --> 00:50:49,337 - Where are you going to live? - I'll get my own place again, eventually. 1081 00:50:49,421 --> 00:50:51,923 For now she's Jack Kerouac. She's On the Road-ing it. 1082 00:50:52,006 --> 00:50:53,007 Pass the peyote. 1083 00:50:53,092 --> 00:50:57,053 But after you've passed the peyote, what bathroom will you use to throw up in? 1084 00:50:57,137 --> 00:51:00,682 Well, I have many options. Paris lets me stay with her in New York. 1085 00:51:00,765 --> 00:51:03,518 - Or I can stay with Mom, Lane or you. - So you're homeless. 1086 00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:05,187 I am not homeless. 1087 00:51:05,270 --> 00:51:07,439 - But you don't live anyplace. - Just for now. 1088 00:51:07,522 --> 00:51:10,024 You're okay with this vagabond existence she's leading? 1089 00:51:10,109 --> 00:51:11,610 Like... like a groupie? 1090 00:51:11,693 --> 00:51:13,987 I wish she was a groupie. I'd get better tickets to stuff. 1091 00:51:14,070 --> 00:51:17,199 - Luke! Buddy! - Hey, everybody. Emily. 1092 00:51:17,282 --> 00:51:19,159 - Careful! - Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. 1093 00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:20,827 - No, I'll do that. - Oh, sure. 1094 00:51:20,910 --> 00:51:21,995 Thanks for coming. 1095 00:51:22,078 --> 00:51:25,415 Yes. Saved us all a very expensive cab ride. 1096 00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:27,751 Are you all leaving now? We all just sat down. 1097 00:51:27,834 --> 00:51:31,004 Oh, no, please. Just eat. Um, no rush. I can just, uh... 1098 00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:33,715 - Buh-buh-buh! - Oh... 1099 00:51:36,092 --> 00:51:37,761 This really is delicious. 1100 00:51:38,970 --> 00:51:41,848 Oh, thank you. 1101 00:51:41,931 --> 00:51:42,932 You don't like it? 1102 00:51:43,016 --> 00:51:46,144 What? Oh, uh... Okay. 1103 00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:48,272 Very good. 1104 00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:50,690 Isn't it? I could eat here every night. 1105 00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:53,902 - Luke? - Hmm, yes? 1106 00:51:53,985 --> 00:51:56,196 What do you think about Rory's living situation? 1107 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,864 - Um... - Her traipsing around 1108 00:51:57,947 --> 00:52:00,617 from one couch to another like she's Llewyn Davis. 1109 00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:01,701 Oh, it's fine. 1110 00:52:02,494 --> 00:52:06,998 Well, I mean... you know, she's grown, and she's... 1111 00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:11,170 Uh, did you read her New Yorker piece that she wrote? I put it on the menu. 1112 00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:14,423 Why is everyone treating this like it's a normal rite of passage? 1113 00:52:14,506 --> 00:52:18,802 Rory is a 32-year-old college-educated woman with no permanent address. 1114 00:52:18,885 --> 00:52:19,928 That's not normal. 1115 00:52:20,011 --> 00:52:22,264 Um, can I be excused? 1116 00:52:22,347 --> 00:52:24,974 They're playing soccer and they seem to be short a man. 1117 00:52:25,058 --> 00:52:26,184 Go. 1118 00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:30,647 Hi, I'm Kirk! Over here! 1119 00:52:31,606 --> 00:52:33,442 Explain to me again who that person is? 1120 00:52:33,525 --> 00:52:36,611 - Oh, that I could. - Grandma, don't worry about me. 1121 00:52:36,695 --> 00:52:39,948 I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm busier than I've ever been. 1122 00:52:40,031 --> 00:52:41,366 I'm traveling and pursuing a goal. 1123 00:52:41,450 --> 00:52:44,286 I don't have to store my stuff here if you're going to worry. 1124 00:52:44,369 --> 00:52:47,206 You can leave your things here. That's not what I meant. 1125 00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:50,417 - There's a chair now. - Oh, sure. 1126 00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:58,133 Goal! 1127 00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:04,889 Call me from London. 1128 00:53:05,807 --> 00:53:07,016 - Luke. - Yes? 1129 00:53:07,100 --> 00:53:10,103 - That was just my way of saying goodbye. - Oh, goodbye. 1130 00:53:10,186 --> 00:53:12,689 - Good night, Mom. - Kirk, we're leaving! 1131 00:53:12,772 --> 00:53:14,190 - Talk tomorrow. - Yep. 1132 00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:18,653 Kirk! Now! 1133 00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:36,421 - Thank you, Luke. - Oh, you're welcome, Kirk. 1134 00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:40,216 Before I go, we should get our stories straight about what happened. 1135 00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:43,595 Your car broke down, I drove to Hartford, and drove you back home. 1136 00:53:43,678 --> 00:53:46,390 Or you broke down, I drove to Hartford and picked you up, 1137 00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:47,516 and drove you back home. 1138 00:53:47,599 --> 00:53:48,767 - What? - Much better story. 1139 00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:49,893 No. 1140 00:53:49,976 --> 00:53:53,480 My business is young, Luke. There's kinks to work out. 1141 00:53:53,563 --> 00:53:55,982 People don't want to know how the sausage gets made. 1142 00:53:56,065 --> 00:53:57,066 They just want to eat. 1143 00:53:57,150 --> 00:53:59,694 There's no arguing or even responding to that, Kirk. 1144 00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:01,405 Great. Thank you. 1145 00:54:01,488 --> 00:54:03,114 Damn it. 1146 00:54:03,197 --> 00:54:04,991 Petal, stop right now! 1147 00:54:05,074 --> 00:54:07,702 I know you hear me! I know you hear me! 1148 00:54:07,786 --> 00:54:10,747 You get back here! Curb right! Curb right! 1149 00:54:10,830 --> 00:54:12,958 - Go, Petal! - Don't encourage her. 1150 00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:18,087 - What's all this? - What? 1151 00:54:18,171 --> 00:54:22,509 Dictionary, thesaurus, Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy... 1152 00:54:22,592 --> 00:54:24,344 Aw, you got a letter from April. 1153 00:54:24,428 --> 00:54:27,389 I was two hours into deciphering it when I got your call. 1154 00:54:27,472 --> 00:54:28,515 "Hello, Pater..." 1155 00:54:28,598 --> 00:54:30,559 - "Father," British or Latin. - Sure. 1156 00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:32,602 She used the word "ontological" three times. 1157 00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:34,813 She used it last time. I looked it up and forgot it. 1158 00:54:34,896 --> 00:54:36,565 I was looking it up again when you called. 1159 00:54:36,648 --> 00:54:39,359 That's what you get when you spawn an MIT-going genius. 1160 00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:42,111 Rory's smart. She speaks like she doesn't need subtitles. 1161 00:54:42,195 --> 00:54:43,447 But she grew up with me. 1162 00:54:43,530 --> 00:54:46,241 She learned her language skills via The Breakfast Club. 1163 00:54:46,908 --> 00:54:48,702 - Hey, how old is this coffee? - Old. 1164 00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:49,786 Oh, well. 1165 00:54:51,079 --> 00:54:52,414 - Hey, Luke... - What are you doing? 1166 00:54:52,497 --> 00:54:55,166 - Eating sprinkles. - Wait, but... Never mind. 1167 00:54:55,250 --> 00:54:57,085 Uh, did I tell you? 1168 00:54:57,336 --> 00:54:59,379 Michel's husband Frederick wants a baby. 1169 00:54:59,463 --> 00:55:02,924 Frederick, the guy who ordered three pancakes on three separate plates? 1170 00:55:03,007 --> 00:55:05,009 The town ought to buy another pig. 1171 00:55:05,093 --> 00:55:07,178 I can't watch this anymore. 1172 00:55:07,846 --> 00:55:10,390 Hey, Luke... did you ever want a kid? 1173 00:55:11,307 --> 00:55:13,935 - I have a kid. - I mean a fresh kid. 1174 00:55:14,018 --> 00:55:16,396 What the hell is a fresh kid? 1175 00:55:16,479 --> 00:55:19,107 A kid that's fresh. A kid with me. 1176 00:55:20,233 --> 00:55:23,069 We never had a serious conversation about it, I don't think. 1177 00:55:23,152 --> 00:55:25,029 That moment at the Twickham house, but since then... 1178 00:55:25,113 --> 00:55:29,117 I figured if you wanted another kid you would say something. 1179 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,494 I figured if you wanted another kid, you'd say something. 1180 00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:32,871 - I brought it up once. - When? 1181 00:55:32,954 --> 00:55:34,539 - Five, six years ago. - I don't remember. 1182 00:55:34,623 --> 00:55:35,665 At the little league game. 1183 00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:39,252 The kid playing right field walked off mid-inning to use the bathroom. 1184 00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:41,546 I turned to you and I said, "That's the kid." 1185 00:55:42,381 --> 00:55:44,383 - "That's the kid"? - Yes. 1186 00:55:44,466 --> 00:55:46,635 "That's the kid" is how you say you want to have a kid? 1187 00:55:46,718 --> 00:55:47,636 In so many words. 1188 00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:49,929 No, that is not you saying you want to have a kid. 1189 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:53,016 "That's the kid" is acknowledging the kid about whom you said, 1190 00:55:53,099 --> 00:55:55,519 - "That's the kid." - I thought you knew what I meant. 1191 00:55:55,602 --> 00:55:57,646 Impossible, because I don't speak "huh"? 1192 00:55:57,729 --> 00:56:01,024 Well... that's what I thought and you didn't pursue it, so... 1193 00:56:01,107 --> 00:56:02,484 - It was up to me to pursue it? - No. 1194 00:56:02,567 --> 00:56:04,152 Sorry, I... 1195 00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:07,781 Well, how do you feel about it now? 1196 00:56:07,864 --> 00:56:09,658 What? 1197 00:56:09,741 --> 00:56:11,034 Do you still want a kid? 1198 00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:14,162 Oh, well, I mean... I mean, isn't it, uh, too late? 1199 00:56:14,245 --> 00:56:16,330 - I don't know. - Look, forget it. 1200 00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:18,082 I have kids. I have April 1201 00:56:18,166 --> 00:56:21,753 and I've always considered Rory to be a little bit mine, so... 1202 00:56:21,836 --> 00:56:25,673 Yeah, but she was so much fun to raise. Don't you want to have that kind of fun? 1203 00:56:25,757 --> 00:56:28,552 I have fun. Look at all the chairs I get to put on tables. 1204 00:56:28,635 --> 00:56:30,845 You don't wanna toss a ball around with your son? 1205 00:56:30,929 --> 00:56:33,264 - There's Jess. - I said toss a ball "with" not "at." 1206 00:56:33,347 --> 00:56:34,766 I'm fine. 1207 00:56:34,849 --> 00:56:37,602 - You'll never see your kid's graduation. - I went to Rory's graduation. 1208 00:56:38,978 --> 00:56:41,564 - It's not the same. - I know it's not the same. 1209 00:56:43,066 --> 00:56:44,776 I don't want you to miss out on anything. 1210 00:56:44,859 --> 00:56:47,278 Nobody gets to have everything they want in life. 1211 00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:49,697 All in all, I think I did pretty good. 1212 00:56:56,955 --> 00:56:58,372 Okay, Sandy, see you then. 1213 00:56:58,456 --> 00:57:00,417 - Who's Sandy? - Do you have to know everything? 1214 00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:03,211 I'm your best friend and business partner, so yes. 1215 00:57:03,294 --> 00:57:04,879 Sandy is our surrogate. 1216 00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:06,756 - You're doing it. - We're thinking about it. 1217 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:07,882 Exciting! 1218 00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:11,553 I just hope it works. A baby would really help everything. 1219 00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:14,097 - We want cake! - Coming. Take it. 1220 00:57:14,180 --> 00:57:15,724 Who's gonna help me light the candles? 1221 00:57:15,807 --> 00:57:17,851 - I will, I will! - Fun, fun, fun! 1222 00:57:26,568 --> 00:57:28,487 Here you go. Freshly made. 1223 00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:31,280 Thanks. It's been at least an hour since my last infusion. 1224 00:57:31,364 --> 00:57:34,701 So, I have all your paperwork. I'll make sure everything's in order. 1225 00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:37,328 - You can flip through this while you wait. - Thanks. 1226 00:57:42,542 --> 00:57:43,585 Really good coffee. 1227 00:57:43,668 --> 00:57:45,879 - Is it? - Yep. Strong. A little crunchy. 1228 00:57:45,962 --> 00:57:47,130 Good. Good. 1229 00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:51,092 Okay, I will take a look. 1230 00:57:56,347 --> 00:57:58,767 - You're supposed to be looking with me. - Sorry. 1231 00:57:58,850 --> 00:58:00,935 So, what are we looking at here? 1232 00:58:01,019 --> 00:58:02,937 - Potential surrogates. - Surrogates. Yes. 1233 00:58:03,021 --> 00:58:04,939 And these surrogates will... 1234 00:58:05,023 --> 00:58:06,691 - Carry the baby. - Our baby. 1235 00:58:06,774 --> 00:58:09,152 - Yes. They'll carry our baby. - I'm confused. 1236 00:58:09,235 --> 00:58:11,529 Am I supposed to be having sex with these women? 1237 00:58:11,613 --> 00:58:13,740 - What? - I don't wanna have sex with her. 1238 00:58:13,823 --> 00:58:16,075 No, you're not having sex with these women. 1239 00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:18,286 - What? You'd have sex with her? - No. 1240 00:58:18,369 --> 00:58:20,329 - How about her? - No. 1241 00:58:20,413 --> 00:58:21,455 She's holding a bat. 1242 00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:23,583 You could play softball and do it in the dugout. 1243 00:58:23,667 --> 00:58:26,169 I don't want to have sex with her or any of these women. 1244 00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:28,462 I don't want to have sex with anyone ever. 1245 00:58:28,547 --> 00:58:31,049 - Except me. - Lorelai, why are we here? 1246 00:58:31,132 --> 00:58:33,009 I tried to broach the subject of adoption. 1247 00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:34,844 I don't want to go to Bangladesh to get a baby. 1248 00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:36,721 I don't want to go to Woodbury to get a light bulb. 1249 00:58:36,804 --> 00:58:38,765 If you won't adopt, this may be our only option, 1250 00:58:38,848 --> 00:58:41,726 - and I don't want another picture window. - What? 1251 00:58:41,810 --> 00:58:44,353 When we remodeled the house, you wanted a picture window, 1252 00:58:44,437 --> 00:58:48,441 but it looked weird with the other windows and so you gave it up. You settled. 1253 00:58:48,525 --> 00:58:50,860 I do not remember wanting a picture window. 1254 00:58:50,944 --> 00:58:53,487 Well, you did. Now it's another thing on the list of 1255 00:58:53,572 --> 00:58:55,574 "things I don't have because I'm with Lorelai." 1256 00:58:55,657 --> 00:58:57,867 - Like peace. - And a picture window. 1257 00:58:57,951 --> 00:59:00,494 I do not want a picture window. 1258 00:59:00,579 --> 00:59:04,040 Moron! When I say "a VIP," I mean a VIP. 1259 00:59:04,123 --> 00:59:05,291 I got them coffee. 1260 00:59:05,374 --> 00:59:07,711 If we were Starbucks, you'd be employee of the month. 1261 00:59:07,794 --> 00:59:11,339 Since we're not, you're just the first Smith grad I've fired this week. 1262 00:59:11,923 --> 00:59:15,468 Lorelai! So great to see you! I am so sorry for the wait. 1263 00:59:15,552 --> 00:59:17,887 - Paris, that's fine. - Don't stand there shaking. Just go. 1264 00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:19,180 Apologize to your parents. 1265 00:59:19,263 --> 00:59:21,766 Tell them you'll pay them back for the semesters you studied 1266 00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:24,561 Buffy the Vampire Slayer's effect on the feminist agenda. 1267 00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:27,396 - Okay, so, hello, Luke. - Hi. 1268 00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:29,357 - You remember me. - You're hard to forget. 1269 00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:31,317 Flattering. Let's go. 1270 00:59:32,443 --> 00:59:36,489 Now, I rarely act as a case personal liaison anymore, 1271 00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:38,617 but when I heard it was you coming in, I said, 1272 00:59:38,700 --> 00:59:41,160 "That woman was practically my second mother. 1273 00:59:41,244 --> 00:59:43,079 No one else is handling this case." 1274 00:59:43,162 --> 00:59:45,749 Aw, that's very sweet of you, Paris. 1275 00:59:45,832 --> 00:59:48,418 So, the spiel. Dynasty Makers. 1276 00:59:48,501 --> 00:59:50,920 We are the largest full-service fertility 1277 00:59:51,004 --> 00:59:53,006 and surrogacy clinic in the Western Hemisphere. 1278 00:59:53,089 --> 00:59:56,467 No other company offers more services, medical and legal, 1279 00:59:56,550 --> 00:59:59,137 and no company has a higher approval rating. 1280 00:59:59,220 --> 01:00:00,346 Did you check Yelp? 1281 01:00:00,429 --> 01:00:01,848 - No. - Check Yelp. 1282 01:00:01,931 --> 01:00:03,850 - Oh. - So, you know how this works? 1283 01:00:03,933 --> 01:00:06,603 Uh, we look through there and pick? 1284 01:00:06,686 --> 01:00:09,147 Give me that. Bargain-basement breeders. 1285 01:00:09,230 --> 01:00:13,317 I'm not letting any of those bottle-service bimbos carry your baby. 1286 01:00:13,401 --> 01:00:16,487 No, for you I pull out the prime meat. 1287 01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:20,283 Am I blacking out? 1288 01:00:20,366 --> 01:00:22,076 How's Rory? She back from London? 1289 01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:23,662 She was, but she's there now. 1290 01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:25,705 - Hard to keep track of our girl, huh? - Yeah. 1291 01:00:25,789 --> 01:00:29,250 Okay. So, it's pretty cut and dry here. 1292 01:00:29,333 --> 01:00:32,921 We plant an egg in a viable body, we fertilize it and out comes a baby. 1293 01:00:33,004 --> 01:00:35,214 Bing bang boom. Have you thought about eggs? 1294 01:00:35,298 --> 01:00:38,342 - Uh... - Using eggs over age 44 with IVF, 1295 01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:41,595 the chances of having a baby is about 1% per try. 1296 01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:44,348 - Wow, super fun fact. - She keep you in stitches, this one? 1297 01:00:44,432 --> 01:00:47,060 Oh, yeah. Hey, how much is this gonna cost? 1298 01:00:47,143 --> 01:00:50,146 A lot. But, again, Lorelai's the only mother I ever had, 1299 01:00:50,229 --> 01:00:53,650 except for Nanny Soledad, so there's mondo discounts involved. 1300 01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:55,694 How much time did you spend with this girl? 1301 01:00:55,777 --> 01:00:57,153 - So, Luke. - Yeah. 1302 01:00:57,236 --> 01:00:58,321 How are the boys? 1303 01:00:58,404 --> 01:01:00,657 - What? What is she doing? - I don't know. 1304 01:01:00,740 --> 01:01:03,409 I'm good at visually sussing out the situation down there. 1305 01:01:03,492 --> 01:01:05,036 Please stop sussing. 1306 01:01:05,119 --> 01:01:08,456 From a cursory glance, you seem symmetrical and well-balanced. 1307 01:01:08,539 --> 01:01:10,208 Make sure he sticks with the boxers. 1308 01:01:10,291 --> 01:01:13,878 Okay, here's a sampling of what we've got. 1309 01:01:13,962 --> 01:01:17,256 Blondes, brunettes and redheads. 1310 01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:20,719 Tall, short, athletic, artsy. 1311 01:01:20,802 --> 01:01:24,347 We even got 'em with a little extra junk in the trunk, 1312 01:01:24,430 --> 01:01:26,474 if you secretly like 'em that way, Luke. 1313 01:01:26,557 --> 01:01:30,228 I'm sorry. Am I or am I not having sex with this woman? 1314 01:01:30,311 --> 01:01:31,730 That's a sick thought. 1315 01:01:31,813 --> 01:01:33,940 You're not having sex with her. She's married. 1316 01:01:34,023 --> 01:01:36,442 - You made it sound like... - We've got Jews, Christians, 1317 01:01:36,525 --> 01:01:39,612 Muslims, Hindus, atheists, one Wiccan, 1318 01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:42,323 and for a premium, you can get the cream of the crop, 1319 01:01:42,406 --> 01:01:44,158 top of the line, army wives. 1320 01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:47,078 Sturdy, reliable, great at packing. 1321 01:01:47,161 --> 01:01:51,040 Oh, wait, sorry. I have to take her off the available list. 1322 01:01:51,124 --> 01:01:54,627 She just conceived. Very high-profile client. 1323 01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:57,005 Let's just call him... Doogie Howser. 1324 01:01:57,088 --> 01:01:58,757 You mean Neil Patrick Harris? 1325 01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:00,591 Wow. Little louder, please. 1326 01:02:00,674 --> 01:02:04,303 Okay, so now his cover's blown, but, yes, it's Neil Patrick Harris. 1327 01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:06,765 - What kind of a cover... - It's Neil Patrick Harris. 1328 01:02:06,848 --> 01:02:08,474 Did you hear? It's Neil Patrick Harris. 1329 01:02:08,557 --> 01:02:10,601 - I did hear, yes. - Neil Patrick Harris. 1330 01:02:10,685 --> 01:02:14,230 - You look upset, Luke. - No. What makes you think I'm upset? 1331 01:02:14,313 --> 01:02:16,482 You're not excited about Neil Patrick Harris. 1332 01:02:16,565 --> 01:02:20,737 I'm very excited for Neil Patrick Harris if this is what he wants. 1333 01:02:20,820 --> 01:02:21,946 Is it not what you want? 1334 01:02:22,030 --> 01:02:23,197 - I... - I understand. 1335 01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:24,573 It's a big decision, having kids. 1336 01:02:24,657 --> 01:02:27,911 There's rewards, but also constant panic and worry. 1337 01:02:27,994 --> 01:02:30,413 Are they healthy? Does everything work? Are they smart? 1338 01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:34,250 McDonald's fry stations are filled with college-educated moderate achievers. 1339 01:02:34,333 --> 01:02:36,085 And then there's the lottery of nature. 1340 01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:37,837 I mean, I said to Neil, 1341 01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:40,840 "Are you prepared to have a really unattractive child 1342 01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:42,425 that would not look good on camera? 1343 01:02:42,508 --> 01:02:44,886 Would you be okay if your child 1344 01:02:44,969 --> 01:02:47,221 was not an actor but an agent?" 1345 01:02:47,305 --> 01:02:49,640 - I need to leave. - Luke, wait. 1346 01:02:51,851 --> 01:02:54,520 Oh. Sorry, Paris, I... 1347 01:02:54,603 --> 01:02:58,274 Yes. Go. Talk it through. I'll send you a DVD of my top picks. 1348 01:02:58,357 --> 01:03:00,359 I'll also include a copy of Gone Girl. 1349 01:03:00,443 --> 01:03:02,862 - NPH was great in that. - Thanks. 1350 01:03:05,614 --> 01:03:06,615 No. 1351 01:03:20,629 --> 01:03:22,799 Thank you, Francis. 1352 01:03:24,926 --> 01:03:27,220 Oh, sod it, bring the bottle. We're celebrating. 1353 01:03:29,555 --> 01:03:31,933 I love coming here because they hate that I do. 1354 01:03:32,016 --> 01:03:34,018 - Really? - They wouldn't let women in 1355 01:03:34,102 --> 01:03:36,354 until the mid '80s. It was only supposed to be 1356 01:03:36,437 --> 01:03:40,233 well-behaved wives with tiny feet, not hellions like myself. 1357 01:03:40,316 --> 01:03:42,568 I helped kick open those doors. 1358 01:03:42,651 --> 01:03:45,321 - Oh, thank you, love. - My pleasure, Ms. Shropshire. 1359 01:03:46,530 --> 01:03:49,117 So, to us. 1360 01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,077 Hellions in arms. 1361 01:03:53,287 --> 01:03:57,416 Mmm. I must tell you, I've had such amazing feedback 1362 01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,751 for the Talk of the Town piece. 1363 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,628 Far more than for anything I've ever written. 1364 01:04:00,711 --> 01:04:02,088 Oh, I doubt that. 1365 01:04:02,171 --> 01:04:04,215 So, the book. 1366 01:04:04,298 --> 01:04:06,217 - Yes. - I go back and forth, 1367 01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,676 back and forth, you know. 1368 01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,888 I never really wanted to write about myself. 1369 01:04:09,971 --> 01:04:13,892 My fields are feminism, environmentalism, and who am I? 1370 01:04:15,559 --> 01:04:20,523 But if I found someone really like-minded who I could write it with, 1371 01:04:20,606 --> 01:04:24,735 somebody like yourself... Well, that's intriguing. 1372 01:04:24,818 --> 01:04:26,988 I've never done anything like this before. 1373 01:04:27,071 --> 01:04:29,490 I don't care about that. I only care that it's honest. 1374 01:04:29,573 --> 01:04:33,452 - I want to be seen as I am, warts and all. - I'm great with warts. 1375 01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:37,373 Even if I waver, if I let my vanity in the door, 1376 01:04:37,456 --> 01:04:39,417 you must remain steadfast. 1377 01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:42,253 Francis, what is that? 1378 01:04:42,336 --> 01:04:45,589 Uh, this is the fluke carpaccio with lime and chilies. 1379 01:04:45,673 --> 01:04:47,050 Is it? 1380 01:04:47,133 --> 01:04:49,677 And who's the genius who ordered this magnificent dish? 1381 01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,013 Uh, Dr. Reynolds over there. 1382 01:04:52,096 --> 01:04:53,722 Hmm... 1383 01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:55,934 Would it be possible for this particular plate 1384 01:04:56,017 --> 01:04:58,477 to go missing and for you to rush back 1385 01:04:58,561 --> 01:05:00,813 and get another one for the darling doctor over there? 1386 01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,440 Uh, of course, Naomi. 1387 01:05:05,985 --> 01:05:08,696 Oh, it's delicious. 1388 01:05:08,779 --> 01:05:11,615 Everything tastes so much better when it's stolen. 1389 01:05:11,699 --> 01:05:13,617 Mmm, that is good. 1390 01:05:13,701 --> 01:05:16,079 Mmm, so, let's talk time frame. 1391 01:05:16,162 --> 01:05:19,958 I think it'll be about eight weeks to work up a proposal for the publishers 1392 01:05:20,041 --> 01:05:21,667 and supply a sample chapter. 1393 01:05:21,750 --> 01:05:24,420 How much access can you give me? Interviews are everything. 1394 01:05:24,503 --> 01:05:27,590 Oh, full access, darling. Follow me everywhere except the loo. 1395 01:05:27,673 --> 01:05:30,176 Actually, the loo's fine, too. 1396 01:05:30,259 --> 01:05:33,304 - Francis, who's that burger for? - Um, Ms. Kipney. 1397 01:05:33,387 --> 01:05:36,474 Trust me, she won't enjoy it. Half of it's going to her dog. 1398 01:05:37,976 --> 01:05:41,020 So, um, the only thing left to discuss is financial stuff. 1399 01:05:41,104 --> 01:05:42,563 The lawyers can do that, right? 1400 01:05:42,646 --> 01:05:45,733 It's 50-50. Split down the middle. We're in this together. Yes? 1401 01:05:45,816 --> 01:05:47,193 Yes. 1402 01:05:47,276 --> 01:05:48,444 Right. 1403 01:05:48,527 --> 01:05:51,280 Now, keep your eyes peeled for dessert. 1404 01:05:53,407 --> 01:05:57,370 I can't believe it's only two o'clock. Two o'clock in the afternoon. 1405 01:05:57,453 --> 01:05:59,372 I feel like I've been awake for days. 1406 01:05:59,455 --> 01:06:03,334 It's the jet lag. And the bourbon. I drank straight bourbon. 1407 01:06:03,417 --> 01:06:05,753 I'm now a midday straight bourbon drinker. 1408 01:06:05,836 --> 01:06:09,590 I'm gonna have to keep up with Naomi if I'm going to write this book. 1409 01:06:09,673 --> 01:06:13,719 She drinks as fast as she talks and she never seems to get tipsy at all. 1410 01:06:13,802 --> 01:06:16,055 She seemed to get smarter and more coherent. 1411 01:06:16,139 --> 01:06:19,225 Or maybe she just seems smarter and more coherent. 1412 01:06:19,308 --> 01:06:20,434 This is great, right? 1413 01:06:20,518 --> 01:06:24,188 I mean, now I have something concrete to talk about at my CondÃÂ(Copyright) Nast meeting, 1414 01:06:24,272 --> 01:06:29,235 and she mentioned publishing excerpts in Vanity Fair, which would be amazing. 1415 01:06:29,318 --> 01:06:32,363 It's not really what I do, but it's good for now. 1416 01:06:33,281 --> 01:06:35,658 And it's money. Money is nice. 1417 01:06:35,741 --> 01:06:39,453 Now I have to hang out with her more to get a handle on the first few chapters 1418 01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:41,705 so we can bid it out and see who wants it. 1419 01:06:41,789 --> 01:06:44,292 That starts in a month, when she gets back from India. 1420 01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:47,003 Basically, I had a good day. How was your day? 1421 01:06:47,086 --> 01:06:49,338 Well, I had my dry cleaning delivered. 1422 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:50,839 - Oh, I think I win. - I don't know. 1423 01:06:50,923 --> 01:06:52,425 I really like these pants, so... 1424 01:06:53,884 --> 01:06:55,969 - I'm glad it went well. - It did. 1425 01:06:56,054 --> 01:06:59,140 - Tonight, I'll take you out to celebrate. - I'd like that. 1426 01:06:59,223 --> 01:07:02,101 Tomorrow, I'll tell you all I've heard about Naomi Shropshire. 1427 01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:04,145 I don't care if she's difficult. 1428 01:07:04,228 --> 01:07:06,772 Oh, she's difficult and a little weird. 1429 01:07:06,855 --> 01:07:08,899 Well, I like weird. I was formed by weird. 1430 01:07:08,982 --> 01:07:11,069 It could be great, and you deserve that. 1431 01:07:11,152 --> 01:07:13,237 I do. I do deserve that. 1432 01:07:13,321 --> 01:07:15,698 Did I tell you she lost her shoes at the club? 1433 01:07:15,781 --> 01:07:18,242 - You did not. - I didn't notice until we were leaving. 1434 01:07:18,326 --> 01:07:21,329 She was walking as if she had shoes on. I mention it and she said, 1435 01:07:21,412 --> 01:07:24,957 "I left them somewhere." How do you do that? It's snowing outside. 1436 01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:27,085 - See? Weird. - Weird makes good copy. 1437 01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:30,546 - So does a great writer. - Those pants did put you in a good mood. 1438 01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:34,050 Do you have to go back to work? 1439 01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:36,260 The pants can't be the accomplishment of my day. 1440 01:07:36,343 --> 01:07:38,971 Plus, I have competition now. You're going to be an author. 1441 01:07:39,055 --> 01:07:41,599 - It's not like I'm John McPhee. - Yet. 1442 01:07:41,682 --> 01:07:43,851 I'll send the car for you at 8:00. 1443 01:07:43,934 --> 01:07:45,936 - I'm gonna use your desktop, okay? - All yours. 1444 01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:49,315 - Where are those boxes I sent here? - The maid stuffed them in the closet. 1445 01:07:49,398 --> 01:07:51,358 - I need to look for something. - Your lucky outfit? 1446 01:07:51,442 --> 01:07:52,526 Do not mock. 1447 01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:54,153 I am not mocking. It's a great outfit. 1448 01:07:54,237 --> 01:07:56,447 You were wearing it when I saw you in Hamburg. 1449 01:07:57,823 --> 01:08:00,993 Hey, is there anything in here that you don't want me to see? 1450 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:04,288 - Like body parts? - That would be on the list, sure. 1451 01:08:04,372 --> 01:08:07,875 No, like, uh... other girl's things. 1452 01:08:07,958 --> 01:08:09,585 - All clear. - Okay. 1453 01:08:09,668 --> 01:08:12,713 Hey... I wouldn't do that. 1454 01:08:13,005 --> 01:08:15,216 Leave things around for you just to... 1455 01:08:15,299 --> 01:08:17,260 - I wasn't accusing... - I know. I'm just... 1456 01:08:18,344 --> 01:08:22,348 Look, we have an agreement. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 1457 01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:23,557 We do. 1458 01:08:24,558 --> 01:08:27,145 And when we leave Vegas, we forget about Vegas 1459 01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:30,106 until we're back in Vegas and then it's just us in Vegas until... 1460 01:08:30,189 --> 01:08:31,107 Throw me a rope, man. 1461 01:08:33,150 --> 01:08:34,110 I'll see you at 8:00. 1462 01:08:38,156 --> 01:08:40,699 - Your phone. - What's it say? 1463 01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:42,660 "Paul dinner. Don't forget." 1464 01:08:42,743 --> 01:08:45,078 - Oh, crap. - That's a lot of exclamation points. 1465 01:08:45,163 --> 01:08:47,331 - I forgot. - It was the excitement about my pants. 1466 01:08:47,414 --> 01:08:49,667 - Go. Vegas. - But... Yes. Vegas. 1467 01:08:51,669 --> 01:08:54,255 I've got to break up with this guy. 1468 01:09:02,596 --> 01:09:05,641 - Excuse me, your password? - Wafflehousebutterbob. 1469 01:09:05,724 --> 01:09:07,518 - Cute. - Isn't it, though? 1470 01:09:07,601 --> 01:09:09,228 Okay, I'm here now. 1471 01:09:09,312 --> 01:09:11,980 Uh-huh. You two, park it over there. 1472 01:09:12,064 --> 01:09:15,943 No, there is no return policy. What's she going to return? It's a baby. 1473 01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:17,736 I'll call and see if she wants it, 1474 01:09:17,820 --> 01:09:20,448 but last time it was Brad who put the kibosh on it. 1475 01:09:20,531 --> 01:09:22,074 - Hello, Luke. - Paris, hey. 1476 01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:24,160 Could you bring them a salad, no croutons? 1477 01:09:24,243 --> 01:09:25,953 Don't let them con you into Diet Cokes. 1478 01:09:26,036 --> 01:09:29,415 - I wanted to apologize for the other day. - No need. 1479 01:09:29,498 --> 01:09:30,708 I've been in this racket for years 1480 01:09:30,791 --> 01:09:33,419 and sometimes I'm a little too "let's get down to it." 1481 01:09:33,502 --> 01:09:35,796 - Think I may have scared you a bit. - Not at all. 1482 01:09:35,879 --> 01:09:39,342 Look, you just need to know I'm good. 1483 01:09:39,425 --> 01:09:41,469 I'm the Pablo Escobar of the fertility world. 1484 01:09:41,552 --> 01:09:44,012 I move the best product, and I would like to help. 1485 01:09:44,096 --> 01:09:45,889 - I appreciate that, but... - I get it. 1486 01:09:45,973 --> 01:09:48,267 You're a small-town boy. You get your milk from a cow. 1487 01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,603 Actually, everybody gets their milk from a cow. 1488 01:09:50,686 --> 01:09:53,146 So I thought I'd make it a little more homey for you. 1489 01:09:53,231 --> 01:09:54,773 Girls, I'd like to you meet Luke Danes. 1490 01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:56,984 Jill and Jane are two of my top breeders. 1491 01:09:57,067 --> 01:09:58,194 Excuse me? 1492 01:09:58,277 --> 01:10:00,363 I thought you could all sit and talk. 1493 01:10:00,446 --> 01:10:03,031 Ask them questions. Challenge Jill to an arm wrestle. 1494 01:10:03,115 --> 01:10:05,242 I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. 1495 01:10:10,623 --> 01:10:11,832 Dragonfly Inn. 1496 01:10:11,915 --> 01:10:13,376 Michel, put Lorelai on the phone. 1497 01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:15,503 - Who is calling? - Michel! 1498 01:10:15,586 --> 01:10:18,297 Oh, Luke. How nice to hear your siren call. 1499 01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:22,593 Find Lorelai and tell her that there are two arm-wrestling breeders here 1500 01:10:22,676 --> 01:10:24,887 - and I need her help! - What? 1501 01:10:26,930 --> 01:10:28,140 Paris? 1502 01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:30,351 - Rory, hi! - What are you doing here? 1503 01:10:30,434 --> 01:10:31,769 - Oh, I'm working. - Here? 1504 01:10:31,852 --> 01:10:33,354 Wherever there's an old or defective uterus. 1505 01:10:33,437 --> 01:10:35,773 - I did not hang up, Michel! - You eating? 1506 01:10:35,856 --> 01:10:38,401 No, I'm just grabbing coffee. So jet-lagged. 1507 01:10:38,484 --> 01:10:40,986 I'm heading to your place. Oh, can I crash at your place? 1508 01:10:41,069 --> 01:10:43,322 - Absolutely, you have the key. - Find her! 1509 01:10:43,406 --> 01:10:45,866 I have to run an errand first. You wanna come with? 1510 01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:49,787 Sure. Ladies, I'll be back in a few. Close the deal. 1511 01:10:50,829 --> 01:10:53,582 Excuse me? I don't think the Wi-Fi is working. 1512 01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:56,209 Capital "B" on "butter." Yeah, I'm still here, Michel. 1513 01:10:56,294 --> 01:10:58,337 - Luke! - Not now, Taylor. 1514 01:10:58,421 --> 01:11:00,964 Well, then when? I have called, I've left messages, 1515 01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,259 I even slipped notes under your door at night. 1516 01:11:03,342 --> 01:11:04,802 Which I turned over to the FBI. 1517 01:11:04,885 --> 01:11:08,597 I know for a fact that you have had septic tank issues. 1518 01:11:08,681 --> 01:11:11,475 Taylor, do you see people in here trying to eat? 1519 01:11:11,559 --> 01:11:13,769 I do. And you know what happens after they eat? 1520 01:11:13,852 --> 01:11:15,896 - Oh, jeez... - It's still not working. 1521 01:11:15,979 --> 01:11:19,525 Luke, I love this town. Do you love this town? 1522 01:11:19,608 --> 01:11:20,651 - No. - Excuse me. 1523 01:11:20,734 --> 01:11:22,736 Could the capital "B" be on "bob," not "butter"? 1524 01:11:22,820 --> 01:11:26,073 I think this town is destined for greatness. 1525 01:11:26,156 --> 01:11:27,783 All the pieces are there. 1526 01:11:27,866 --> 01:11:30,369 It's just a matter of finding that special something 1527 01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:32,496 - to put it over the top. - Like a sewer system. 1528 01:11:32,580 --> 01:11:35,123 Yes, because when you have a sewer system, 1529 01:11:35,207 --> 01:11:38,085 then you're part of something bigger than yourself. 1530 01:11:38,168 --> 01:11:41,505 - Like the universe, only more hygienic. - Taylor... 1531 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:43,632 I'm sorry. The password is still not working. 1532 01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:47,428 Of course the password's not working! It's fake! 1533 01:11:47,511 --> 01:11:49,722 He has been giving out fake passwords 1534 01:11:49,805 --> 01:11:52,391 ever since he got Wi-Fi in this damn place! 1535 01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:54,602 How stupid are you people anyway? 1536 01:11:54,685 --> 01:11:56,479 He doesn't want to give out his password 1537 01:11:56,562 --> 01:11:59,315 because he doesn't want you here checking your Facebook, 1538 01:11:59,398 --> 01:12:02,776 or answering your e-mails, or YouTubing Zoella, 1539 01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:04,737 or whatever the hell it is you're doing. 1540 01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:09,367 This isn't your office. It's a diner! Go home! 1541 01:12:09,450 --> 01:12:12,202 Pay for Wi-Fi! I do. 1542 01:12:12,285 --> 01:12:14,538 I... can't... 1543 01:12:14,622 --> 01:12:17,082 You know what? Never mind. 1544 01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:21,128 I was wrong. You don't deserve perpetually unclogged toilets. 1545 01:12:29,637 --> 01:12:31,054 Taylor! 1546 01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:35,684 Really? 1547 01:12:37,478 --> 01:12:38,896 Now that I've gotten... 1548 01:12:41,940 --> 01:12:43,651 Hell of a week. 1549 01:12:43,734 --> 01:12:46,487 ♪ Oh, friends ♪ 1550 01:12:46,570 --> 01:12:50,073 ♪ Waving from a passenger train ♪ 1551 01:12:50,991 --> 01:12:53,411 ♪ Oh, boy ♪ 1552 01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:57,706 ♪ Familiar to me in impossible ways ♪ 1553 01:12:57,790 --> 01:13:00,543 ♪ A new day ♪ 1554 01:13:00,626 --> 01:13:05,756 ♪ A picture in my hands Of who I used to be ♪ 1555 01:13:05,839 --> 01:13:07,174 - Hey! - Crap! 1556 01:13:07,257 --> 01:13:08,467 Come back here! 1557 01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:10,177 Stop it! What is wrong with you? 1558 01:13:10,260 --> 01:13:12,930 I told you! My town, my corner! 1559 01:13:13,013 --> 01:13:14,390 But I'm your sister! 1560 01:13:14,473 --> 01:13:16,266 - No proof of that. - Ask Mom! 1561 01:13:16,349 --> 01:13:18,852 Mom lies! You better run, little sister! 1562 01:13:18,936 --> 01:13:22,272 It was over the minute he wanted to do something creative. 1563 01:13:22,355 --> 01:13:24,900 Wow, you and Doyle split. 1564 01:13:24,983 --> 01:13:27,945 He's a screenwriter now. Have you been to the movies lately? 1565 01:13:28,028 --> 01:13:30,406 - I know. - Suddenly he's in jeans 1566 01:13:30,489 --> 01:13:34,493 and wearing faded $200 rock T-shirts with bands on them he's never seen. 1567 01:13:34,577 --> 01:13:37,496 He's flying out to "the coast," as if this is not a coast. 1568 01:13:37,580 --> 01:13:40,040 He drinks vodka because it has less carbs. 1569 01:13:40,124 --> 01:13:44,545 Then he started selling things and I realized, "This is going to stick." 1570 01:13:44,628 --> 01:13:46,129 I am so sorry. 1571 01:13:46,213 --> 01:13:48,466 It's fine. I'll kill him in court. 1572 01:13:48,549 --> 01:13:49,592 Sure. 1573 01:13:49,675 --> 01:13:52,260 I'll be using that Def Leppard T-shirt to clean my windows. 1574 01:13:52,344 --> 01:13:54,805 I've been waiting a half hour! It's freezing! 1575 01:13:54,888 --> 01:13:58,141 You shouldn't have four-starred me last time. 1576 01:13:58,225 --> 01:14:00,561 Don't you maybe wanna try to work it out nicely? 1577 01:14:00,644 --> 01:14:04,189 You guys have kids and you were a good team at one point. 1578 01:14:04,272 --> 01:14:06,942 That was before Brett Ratner gave him the keys to his pool house. 1579 01:14:07,025 --> 01:14:11,196 Okay, ladies. You have arrived. 1580 01:14:11,279 --> 01:14:14,742 - Thanks, Kirk. - You're welcome. Come again. 1581 01:14:14,825 --> 01:14:18,036 - And does Lane have an extension cord? - I'll see. 1582 01:14:18,954 --> 01:14:20,498 I know you guys were friends, 1583 01:14:20,581 --> 01:14:23,083 but if push came to shove, and we had to make T-shirts... 1584 01:14:23,166 --> 01:14:25,127 - Team Paris all the way. - Thanks. 1585 01:14:25,210 --> 01:14:27,755 Can you say he felt you up at a party for the deposition? 1586 01:14:27,838 --> 01:14:28,672 No. 1587 01:14:28,756 --> 01:14:31,675 You're all I've got. Our nanny looks like Benicio Del Toro. 1588 01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:32,760 Oh, you're here. 1589 01:14:32,843 --> 01:14:35,262 Remember to call my mom to rate me! 1590 01:14:39,808 --> 01:14:40,934 Lane, you remember Paris. 1591 01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:42,478 - I do. Hi. - Hi. 1592 01:14:42,561 --> 01:14:45,564 - Um, do you still need your boxes? - Yes, definitely. 1593 01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:48,191 Oh, Kirk, come on! 1594 01:14:49,151 --> 01:14:51,612 - I had Zach pull them out for you. - You're welcome. 1595 01:14:51,695 --> 01:14:53,947 - Thanks, Zach. - Don't look at me. I'm not me. 1596 01:14:54,031 --> 01:14:56,116 - What are you trying to find? - My lucky outfit. 1597 01:14:56,199 --> 01:14:58,994 - Is it, like, a cheerleader uniform? - Yes, exactly like that. 1598 01:14:59,077 --> 01:15:00,328 - Is this your house? - Yep. 1599 01:15:00,412 --> 01:15:02,289 - Who gets it when you split? - What? 1600 01:15:02,372 --> 01:15:03,832 - Is he him yet? - No! 1601 01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:05,543 Rory, are you staying in the spare room? 1602 01:15:05,626 --> 01:15:07,711 - No, it's all yours, Brian. - Did you get beer? 1603 01:15:07,795 --> 01:15:09,046 There should be some in there. 1604 01:15:09,129 --> 01:15:11,464 - Uh, can I help? - Um, yeah. Look through this box. 1605 01:15:11,549 --> 01:15:13,383 I'm looking for a red dress, full skirt. 1606 01:15:13,466 --> 01:15:17,095 Okay, red dress, full skirt. Oh, this is nice. Wear this. 1607 01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:18,639 No, it has to be my lucky outfit. 1608 01:15:18,722 --> 01:15:21,809 My CondÃÂ(Copyright) Nast meeting is in two days and I have to find that outfit. 1609 01:15:21,892 --> 01:15:24,061 - Is he him yet? - No, he's not! 1610 01:15:24,144 --> 01:15:26,396 I didn't ask for this promotion, okay? Back off. 1611 01:15:26,479 --> 01:15:29,024 There's nothing wrong with bringing home the bacon. 1612 01:15:29,107 --> 01:15:30,651 Well, it's not in here. 1613 01:15:30,734 --> 01:15:32,903 Okay. I'm me. 1614 01:15:32,986 --> 01:15:35,531 Steve! Kwan! Come in here! 1615 01:15:35,614 --> 01:15:37,658 Help your Aunt Rory find her outfit. 1616 01:15:37,741 --> 01:15:39,242 - Who did your work? - What? 1617 01:15:39,326 --> 01:15:41,244 - Them. Friedman? - I... 1618 01:15:41,328 --> 01:15:43,747 - Rasouli? Mendelssohn? - I just had them. 1619 01:15:43,831 --> 01:15:44,957 Fine. Don't tell me. 1620 01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:48,460 Hey. 1621 01:15:48,544 --> 01:15:50,588 To answer your 43,000 frantic voicemails, 1622 01:15:50,671 --> 01:15:52,548 you do not have anything at the dry cleaners. 1623 01:15:52,631 --> 01:15:55,508 - Rats. - Seriously, it was Kopelson, right? 1624 01:15:55,593 --> 01:15:58,261 It wasn't natural. Your husband's junk isn't symmetrical. 1625 01:15:58,345 --> 01:15:59,721 Wait, what? 1626 01:16:00,598 --> 01:16:03,100 It's not here. Maybe it's at Grandma's. 1627 01:16:03,183 --> 01:16:04,893 - How was London? - Great. 1628 01:16:04,977 --> 01:16:07,020 - Where'd you stay? - With Didi. Same as always. 1629 01:16:07,104 --> 01:16:11,149 I love that you have a friend named Didi. Makes you sound so Fridays on ABC. 1630 01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:12,651 Have you spoken to Grandma lately? 1631 01:16:12,735 --> 01:16:16,989 - Why? - It's been quiet regarding the blowup. 1632 01:16:17,072 --> 01:16:18,699 - I've been busy. - You should call her. 1633 01:16:18,782 --> 01:16:21,034 - De-ice this situation. - I will. 1634 01:16:21,118 --> 01:16:22,953 - When? - When it feels right. 1635 01:16:23,036 --> 01:16:25,581 - You are both being stubborn. - Well, she started it. 1636 01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:28,041 Aren't we supposed to cut her all sorts of slack right now? 1637 01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:29,376 I mean, she lost her husband. 1638 01:16:29,459 --> 01:16:31,878 Did you ever imagine there'd be a Grandma without a Grandpa? 1639 01:16:33,088 --> 01:16:35,215 - No. - Check on her. 1640 01:16:35,298 --> 01:16:36,717 Fine. I'll check on her. 1641 01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:39,136 Good. Maybe while you're there, you can find my outfit. 1642 01:16:39,219 --> 01:16:42,055 Wow, the student surpasses the master. 1643 01:16:43,556 --> 01:16:46,644 - Great. - What? 1644 01:16:46,727 --> 01:16:48,687 My CondÃÂ(Copyright) Nast meeting got pushed again. 1645 01:16:48,771 --> 01:16:52,440 Aw, sorry, hon. So you don't need that outfit after all? 1646 01:16:52,524 --> 01:16:54,401 You're going. 1647 01:16:56,028 --> 01:16:57,529 - Oh, man. - What now? 1648 01:16:57,613 --> 01:16:58,947 Poor Paul. 1649 01:16:59,031 --> 01:17:01,825 - Hey, you have got to... - I know, I know. 1650 01:17:06,455 --> 01:17:08,540 - All right, let's do this. - Yes! 1651 01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:10,626 So, are they serious? 1652 01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:11,835 One, two! 1653 01:17:22,554 --> 01:17:27,810 ♪ Pretty soon now You know I'm gonna make a comeback ♪ 1654 01:17:27,893 --> 01:17:30,437 ♪ And like the birds and the bees In the trees ♪ 1655 01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:32,689 ♪ It's a sure-fire smash ♪ 1656 01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:38,028 ♪ I'll speak To the masses through the media ♪ 1657 01:17:39,279 --> 01:17:43,700 ♪ But if you got anything to say to me You better say it with cash ♪ 1658 01:17:44,827 --> 01:17:47,788 ♪ 'Cause I've got the trash And you got the cash ♪ 1659 01:17:47,871 --> 01:17:50,373 ♪ Baby, we should get along fine ♪ 1660 01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:53,335 ♪ So give me all your money You know I think I'm funny ♪ 1661 01:17:53,418 --> 01:17:56,546 ♪ Can't you see me smiling? Can't you see me laugh, I'm the man ♪ 1662 01:17:56,629 --> 01:17:58,548 ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1663 01:17:58,631 --> 01:17:59,632 ♪ I'm the man ♪ 1664 01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:01,384 - ♪ That gave you the hula hoop ♪ - ♪ I'm the man ♪ 1665 01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:02,635 ♪ I'm the man ♪ 1666 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:04,012 ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1667 01:18:04,096 --> 01:18:06,765 ♪ I'm the man that gave you the yo-yo ♪ 1668 01:18:08,225 --> 01:18:11,061 - ♪ I'm the man ♪ - ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1669 01:18:11,144 --> 01:18:13,856 - ♪ I'm the man ♪ - ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1670 01:18:13,939 --> 01:18:16,775 - ♪ I'm the man, yeah ♪ - ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪ 1671 01:18:23,991 --> 01:18:26,618 - Mom? - Hola, hello. 1672 01:18:37,713 --> 01:18:38,881 Mom! 1673 01:18:43,635 --> 01:18:45,553 Take that box and put it downstairs. 1674 01:18:45,637 --> 01:18:47,555 Come back up here and get these presents. 1675 01:18:47,639 --> 01:18:50,976 - Mom, are you here? - Lorelai? I didn't know you were coming. 1676 01:18:51,059 --> 01:18:52,853 Holy shit! 1677 01:18:52,936 --> 01:18:55,939 Berta, these boxes need to go outside. 1678 01:18:56,023 --> 01:18:58,025 - What? What? What? - They go outside. 1679 01:18:58,108 --> 01:19:00,360 Take the boxes. Oh, good. 1680 01:19:00,443 --> 01:19:02,070 - Did you call? - Did I? 1681 01:19:02,154 --> 01:19:03,947 Because today is a very bad day. 1682 01:19:04,031 --> 01:19:06,158 What is going on? Who are all these people? 1683 01:19:06,241 --> 01:19:09,577 - Well, that's Berta. - I know Berta. 1684 01:19:09,661 --> 01:19:10,703 That's Berta's husband. 1685 01:19:10,788 --> 01:19:13,290 No, that's Berta's husband, that's his brother, 1686 01:19:13,373 --> 01:19:16,334 - and I think those are someone's parents. - And the kids? 1687 01:19:16,418 --> 01:19:19,212 I thought they were all hers, but now I'm not sure. 1688 01:19:19,296 --> 01:19:20,380 No, this goes. 1689 01:19:20,463 --> 01:19:24,092 Mom... what... Can we get a minute? 1690 01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:28,305 Fine. Uh, could you all give us a minute alone? 1691 01:19:28,388 --> 01:19:30,098 Mom, "alone" looks a lot like gas. 1692 01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:32,392 I don't know how else to communicate with them. 1693 01:19:32,476 --> 01:19:35,353 Leonard Marlin's daughter works at the UN. I had her come over. 1694 01:19:35,437 --> 01:19:37,355 She doesn't know what language they speak, either. 1695 01:19:37,439 --> 01:19:39,316 Mom, what is going on here? 1696 01:19:39,399 --> 01:19:41,609 - You mean with the house? - Start with the house. 1697 01:19:41,693 --> 01:19:43,695 I'm decluttering my life. 1698 01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,322 - You know Marie Kondo? - No. 1699 01:19:45,405 --> 01:19:46,656 - You don't? - No. 1700 01:19:46,739 --> 01:19:48,408 - She's Japanese. - Okay. 1701 01:19:48,491 --> 01:19:49,993 - You still don't know her? - She's Japanese? 1702 01:19:50,077 --> 01:19:51,119 - Yes. - No. 1703 01:19:51,203 --> 01:19:54,622 She wrote a best-selling book on decluttering. So, I'm decluttering. 1704 01:19:54,706 --> 01:19:56,583 I was starting to feel claustrophobic. 1705 01:19:56,666 --> 01:20:00,045 I'd wake up in the night feeling like the house is closing in on me. 1706 01:20:00,128 --> 01:20:02,589 - Like I couldn't breathe, you know? - Oh, yes, I know. 1707 01:20:02,672 --> 01:20:05,300 One of the ladies in my garden club bought this book, 1708 01:20:05,383 --> 01:20:07,552 The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. 1709 01:20:07,635 --> 01:20:10,597 She said it made everything better. Are you paying attention? 1710 01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:13,350 - The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up? - You know it? 1711 01:20:13,433 --> 01:20:15,352 Written by that Japanese woman, Marie Kondo? 1712 01:20:15,435 --> 01:20:16,603 - Yes. - No. 1713 01:20:16,686 --> 01:20:18,146 Well, people swear by her. 1714 01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:22,525 She tells you to take everything you own and put it in piles on the ground. 1715 01:20:22,609 --> 01:20:25,653 Then you pick up each possession and you hold it. 1716 01:20:25,737 --> 01:20:29,532 If it brings you joy, you keep it, and if it doesn't, out it goes. 1717 01:20:31,118 --> 01:20:32,619 No joy. 1718 01:20:32,702 --> 01:20:35,413 - He's taking the dining room chairs. - They don't bring me joy. 1719 01:20:35,497 --> 01:20:39,667 This box needs to be taped. 1720 01:20:39,751 --> 01:20:41,920 Oh, by the way, if I get a terminal disease, 1721 01:20:42,004 --> 01:20:45,090 I want to move to Washington State to die. They let you do that there. 1722 01:20:45,173 --> 01:20:46,549 Die? They let you die? 1723 01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:48,886 With dignity and in your own time frame. 1724 01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:52,305 I'll die there and then you need to ship me back here for burial, 1725 01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:55,017 which costs a fortune, I found out. 1726 01:20:55,100 --> 01:20:59,312 So, in the safe there's an envelope labeled "body-shipping cash." 1727 01:20:59,396 --> 01:21:01,064 I could also go to Vermont, 1728 01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:03,859 but we vacationed there once and it was terrible. 1729 01:21:03,942 --> 01:21:05,068 Squirrels. 1730 01:21:05,152 --> 01:21:07,320 So, Washington it is. 1731 01:21:08,738 --> 01:21:09,865 It's the middle of the day. 1732 01:21:09,948 --> 01:21:11,992 Taste it. See if it brings you joy. 1733 01:21:13,743 --> 01:21:17,080 Oh, God. I haven't sat down in six hours. 1734 01:21:17,164 --> 01:21:18,373 Cheers. 1735 01:21:22,585 --> 01:21:25,047 So come on, Mom, talk to me. 1736 01:21:26,048 --> 01:21:28,050 Why are you wearing jeans? 1737 01:21:28,133 --> 01:21:30,593 - What? - Because it's terrifying. 1738 01:21:30,677 --> 01:21:32,679 I started this process with my closet. 1739 01:21:32,762 --> 01:21:35,473 Nothing I owned brought me joy, so I ran out of clothes. 1740 01:21:35,557 --> 01:21:36,808 I don't know where I got these. 1741 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,851 - They're mine. - They are? 1742 01:21:38,936 --> 01:21:41,313 Did you not notice the Billy Squier patch on the butt? 1743 01:21:41,396 --> 01:21:44,607 - You can have them back. - I have not been pining for them. 1744 01:21:44,691 --> 01:21:46,944 I have to get back to work. Kitchen's next. 1745 01:21:47,027 --> 01:21:48,861 Stop. You're not gonna have anything left. 1746 01:21:48,946 --> 01:21:51,531 That's okay. What I do have will bring me joy. 1747 01:21:51,614 --> 01:21:52,824 Mom... 1748 01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:56,328 nothing is gonna bring you joy right now. 1749 01:21:56,912 --> 01:21:59,331 Nothing. Your husband just died. 1750 01:21:59,414 --> 01:22:03,752 When some time passes and you realize you've given away all of your stuff, 1751 01:22:03,835 --> 01:22:05,837 you're going to track down and kill Marie Kondo. 1752 01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:08,215 Then you're gonna go to jail wearing those jeans, 1753 01:22:08,298 --> 01:22:11,635 and the Winchester Mystery Family will be living here in your ball gowns. 1754 01:22:13,386 --> 01:22:15,555 - I don't know how to do this. - Do what? 1755 01:22:15,638 --> 01:22:17,890 - Live my life. - Oh, Mom... 1756 01:22:17,975 --> 01:22:19,809 I don't know what to do or where to go. 1757 01:22:19,892 --> 01:22:21,979 I've forgotten which side of the bed to sleep on. 1758 01:22:22,062 --> 01:22:24,522 I was married for 50 years. 1759 01:22:24,606 --> 01:22:26,024 Half of me is gone. 1760 01:22:27,192 --> 01:22:28,693 Ah, you don't understand. 1761 01:22:28,776 --> 01:22:31,279 - I understand. - You can't understand. You're not married. 1762 01:22:31,363 --> 01:22:34,199 - Luke and I are as good as married. - No, you're roommates. 1763 01:22:34,282 --> 01:22:36,743 Someday you'll go off and find another roommate. 1764 01:22:36,826 --> 01:22:39,746 I had a real partner for 50 years and now I'm alone. 1765 01:22:43,791 --> 01:22:45,710 Are you still going to that grief group? 1766 01:22:45,793 --> 01:22:48,005 - Oh, God, no. - Why not? 1767 01:22:48,088 --> 01:22:50,257 All those women with red noses and Skechers. 1768 01:22:50,340 --> 01:22:53,593 - All they do is sit around and complain. - What an annoying grief group. 1769 01:22:53,676 --> 01:22:56,554 When it's my turn, there's no time left to talk about me. 1770 01:22:56,638 --> 01:22:58,974 - Right. - I have problems. I can't help them. 1771 01:22:59,057 --> 01:23:02,102 Well, what about seeing someone one-on-one? 1772 01:23:02,686 --> 01:23:04,729 - What do you mean? - You know, just you and them. 1773 01:23:04,812 --> 01:23:06,523 - Who? - Just a person. 1774 01:23:06,606 --> 01:23:08,483 - What kind of person? - A normal person 1775 01:23:08,566 --> 01:23:11,028 with an office and a prescription pad. 1776 01:23:11,111 --> 01:23:13,238 - You mean a psychiatrist. - That could work, too. 1777 01:23:13,321 --> 01:23:16,283 - You want me to go to therapy. - Till you get back on your feet. 1778 01:23:16,366 --> 01:23:19,077 I knew it. You have been trying to get me to a therapist 1779 01:23:19,161 --> 01:23:20,996 ever since you saw that Tony Soprano show. 1780 01:23:21,079 --> 01:23:23,123 I have not. He did make it look cool though, right? 1781 01:23:23,206 --> 01:23:25,250 - No. - What's the big deal? 1782 01:23:25,333 --> 01:23:26,584 I'm not crazy. 1783 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:29,421 No. You're in pain. This is uncharted territory. 1784 01:23:29,504 --> 01:23:31,714 If it might help, what's the harm? 1785 01:23:33,216 --> 01:23:35,885 - I'll think about it. - Okay. But really consider it. 1786 01:23:36,886 --> 01:23:39,014 - I will. - And if you do it, commit. 1787 01:23:39,097 --> 01:23:40,348 You know, really go for it. 1788 01:23:40,432 --> 01:23:42,059 - I will. - Jump in with both feet. 1789 01:23:42,142 --> 01:23:45,103 Five, six days a week. Really Woody Allen the hell out of it. 1790 01:23:45,187 --> 01:23:47,397 - I got it. - 'Cause he's totally normal now. 1791 01:23:47,480 --> 01:23:48,981 I promise, Lorelai. 1792 01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:54,237 I'd better try to get my bedroom set back. 1793 01:23:54,946 --> 01:23:57,865 Okay, but first, don't you think you want to... 1794 01:23:57,949 --> 01:23:58,950 What? 1795 01:24:00,327 --> 01:24:02,037 Oh, God, yes. 1796 01:24:18,845 --> 01:24:20,388 ♪ Hey, sweet Annie ♪ 1797 01:24:20,472 --> 01:24:22,432 ♪ Don't take it so bad ♪ 1798 01:24:23,808 --> 01:24:26,936 ♪ You know the summer's coming soon ♪ 1799 01:24:28,313 --> 01:24:33,276 ♪ Though the interstate is choking Under salty, dirty sand ♪ 1800 01:24:33,360 --> 01:24:37,072 ♪ And it seems the sun Is hiding from the moon ♪ 1801 01:24:38,490 --> 01:24:43,536 ♪ The snow is coming down On our New England town ♪ 1802 01:24:43,620 --> 01:24:47,332 ♪ And it's been falling all day long... ♪ 1803 01:24:48,500 --> 01:24:49,751 Oy! Danesy-boy! 1804 01:24:49,834 --> 01:24:53,505 So dressing up of the dog extends to outside of the house now, huh? 1805 01:24:53,588 --> 01:24:55,840 He wanted to go public. It's a whole new world. 1806 01:24:55,923 --> 01:24:57,967 - Uh-huh. - I can only support with love, 1807 01:24:58,050 --> 01:24:59,051 not judgment. 1808 01:24:59,136 --> 01:25:00,762 - So that's me. - Yeah. 1809 01:25:00,845 --> 01:25:03,098 - And that's... - It's his order pad and pencil. 1810 01:25:03,181 --> 01:25:05,100 Sure, sure. And the baseball cap? 1811 01:25:05,183 --> 01:25:06,809 His head's too big. None of yours fit. 1812 01:25:06,893 --> 01:25:09,312 - Oh, okay. Let's get a drink. - Okay. 1813 01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:10,522 My man! 1814 01:25:12,274 --> 01:25:13,900 - Do I want to know what that's... - No. 1815 01:25:13,983 --> 01:25:15,235 You don't. 1816 01:25:15,318 --> 01:25:16,778 Okay. Oh. 1817 01:25:16,861 --> 01:25:19,322 - What? - Uh, nothing. 1818 01:25:19,406 --> 01:25:21,616 - What's up? - It's just Paris 1819 01:25:21,699 --> 01:25:24,076 sending me pictures of potential, you know... 1820 01:25:24,161 --> 01:25:26,163 She's tall. Want to start a basketball team? 1821 01:25:26,246 --> 01:25:28,248 Uh, didn't you say we're not doing that? 1822 01:25:28,331 --> 01:25:30,708 Oh, I e-mailed her that we're tabling it. 1823 01:25:30,792 --> 01:25:32,127 - Tabling it? - Back-burnering it? 1824 01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:33,378 Just tell her no. 1825 01:25:33,461 --> 01:25:34,546 - That's what tabling means. - No. 1826 01:25:34,629 --> 01:25:37,549 That means you'll do it eventually. Are we doing it eventually? 1827 01:25:37,632 --> 01:25:39,509 - No. You said no. - And you said no. 1828 01:25:39,592 --> 01:25:40,635 We both said no. 1829 01:25:42,970 --> 01:25:43,971 So... 1830 01:25:47,350 --> 01:25:49,936 Don't need a surrogate. 1831 01:25:50,019 --> 01:25:52,105 Done. Let's get that drink. 1832 01:25:52,730 --> 01:25:53,648 Okay. 1833 01:25:54,524 --> 01:25:56,443 Two big gloggs. 1834 01:25:56,526 --> 01:25:58,945 Hey, Kirk. Taking the day off of ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-bering? 1835 01:25:59,028 --> 01:26:01,739 - I don't know what you're talking about. - You know, ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪-ber. 1836 01:26:01,823 --> 01:26:03,491 - No. - Kirk, ÃâÃÂ♪ÃÂ♪... 1837 01:26:03,575 --> 01:26:04,826 Stop making that noise. 1838 01:26:04,909 --> 01:26:09,205 If anyone from the Uber corporation or their handsome attorneys contacts you, 1839 01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:11,123 please tell them it was my brother 1840 01:26:11,208 --> 01:26:15,670 and not me, who recklessly violated trademark laws and perpetrated fraud. 1841 01:26:15,753 --> 01:26:18,715 Dirk has always been a disappointment to the family. 1842 01:26:18,798 --> 01:26:19,799 Your gloggs. 1843 01:26:19,882 --> 01:26:21,551 - Kirk... - Next! 1844 01:26:21,634 --> 01:26:24,053 Okay. Your car is done. 1845 01:26:24,136 --> 01:26:27,765 I do not guarantee it will make it home, or even out of the gas station. 1846 01:26:27,849 --> 01:26:29,184 I bet it will. 1847 01:26:29,267 --> 01:26:31,769 Come get it now. It's idling. I'm afraid to turn it off. 1848 01:26:31,853 --> 01:26:33,563 Okay, we'll be right there. Love you. 1849 01:26:33,646 --> 01:26:34,856 Buy a new car. 1850 01:26:34,939 --> 01:26:37,275 - Where's Paul Anka? - He's chasing ice skaters. 1851 01:26:37,359 --> 01:26:39,569 Oh, boy. Hi, Mom. 1852 01:26:39,652 --> 01:26:41,946 - You answered. You never answer. - I did. 1853 01:26:42,029 --> 01:26:43,948 - Sure I do. - Are you drunk? 1854 01:26:44,031 --> 01:26:45,283 Mom, what can I help you with? 1855 01:26:45,367 --> 01:26:47,702 I just wanted you to know that I took your advice. 1856 01:26:47,785 --> 01:26:50,037 - Are you drunk? - I found a therapist. 1857 01:26:50,121 --> 01:26:52,874 - You're kidding. - Linda in my garden club is bipolar, 1858 01:26:52,957 --> 01:26:55,335 so I asked if she had someone she could recommend. 1859 01:26:55,418 --> 01:26:57,504 - Good thinking. - She's a lovely woman. 1860 01:26:57,587 --> 01:26:59,130 - Linda? - No. The therapist. 1861 01:26:59,214 --> 01:27:01,758 Linda's a nightmare. She cries if the tea is cold. 1862 01:27:01,841 --> 01:27:05,720 But the therapist is wonderful. Very tasteful office. 1863 01:27:05,803 --> 01:27:07,472 She burns a candle that smells so delicious, 1864 01:27:07,555 --> 01:27:08,765 I bought one to have at home. 1865 01:27:08,848 --> 01:27:10,016 Sounds great. 1866 01:27:10,099 --> 01:27:11,851 - I could get one for you. - Sure. 1867 01:27:11,934 --> 01:27:15,355 I go there once a week and we just talk. Talk about anything. 1868 01:27:15,438 --> 01:27:18,525 - Or nothing if there's nothing on my mind. - Sounds great, Mom. 1869 01:27:18,608 --> 01:27:20,693 She told me to get rid of the Marie Kondo book. 1870 01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:22,945 I like her already. Hey, I did something right. 1871 01:27:23,029 --> 01:27:24,155 Law of averages. 1872 01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:27,950 I bought a notebook so I can write down things I want to discuss with her. 1873 01:27:28,034 --> 01:27:30,453 - That way I won't forget. - Very sensible. 1874 01:27:30,537 --> 01:27:32,872 I told her it was your idea that I come see her. 1875 01:27:32,955 --> 01:27:33,956 You did? 1876 01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:36,793 I did. Thank you, Lorelai. 1877 01:27:36,876 --> 01:27:40,046 Thank you for suggesting it. I think it's exactly what I needed. 1878 01:27:40,129 --> 01:27:43,466 Wow, I'm so glad, Mom. Really. 1879 01:27:43,550 --> 01:27:46,511 - I'd love for you to meet her sometime. - Sure. 1880 01:27:46,594 --> 01:27:48,305 Maybe next time I go, you could come by. 1881 01:27:48,388 --> 01:27:51,223 Oh, Mom, I would love to meet your therapist. 1882 01:27:51,308 --> 01:27:55,353 Really? Great. I go on Tuesday at 3:00. 1883 01:27:55,437 --> 01:27:56,771 Tuesday's probably fine. 1884 01:27:56,854 --> 01:27:59,023 Wonderful! Oh, you're going to love her. 1885 01:27:59,106 --> 01:28:00,232 I'll text you the address? 1886 01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:01,484 Text away. 1887 01:28:01,567 --> 01:28:04,279 - See you then. - See you then, Mom. Bye. 1888 01:28:05,738 --> 01:28:08,408 - What sort of attack are you having? - Are you crazy? 1889 01:28:08,491 --> 01:28:10,452 - Why? - You're going to therapy with your mother! 1890 01:28:10,535 --> 01:28:12,537 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 1891 01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:13,746 She wants me to meet her. 1892 01:28:13,830 --> 01:28:16,791 - What do you think that means? - Luke, look. 1893 01:28:16,874 --> 01:28:20,169 My mother took my advice. Do you understand what I'm saying? 1894 01:28:20,252 --> 01:28:22,171 The advice that I gave her, she took it. 1895 01:28:22,254 --> 01:28:24,549 That's never happened before. Ever. 1896 01:28:24,632 --> 01:28:28,052 She's feeling good about it and just wanted me to meet her... 1897 01:28:28,135 --> 01:28:30,137 Oh, crap! I'm going to therapy with my mother! 1898 01:28:36,060 --> 01:28:38,771 - Oh, boy. - Come on. 152427