Original subtitles

Rory-y-y-y-y-y-y!

Rory, it's starting.

Argh.

OK.

- OK... - False alarm.

- Mmm! - What?

Well, I don't know what it feels like.

I've never had a baby before.

Mmm!

No.

- I know. Leaf blowers. Use a rake! - No, it's...

I knew.

I just knew.

- Rory! - Doctor.

- I've crushed your flowers. - Oh, Amy will kill you.

- Where is she? - She'll need a bit longer.

Whenever you're ready, Amy.

- Oh, wahey! - Wahey.

- You've swallowed a planet. - I'm pregnant.

- You're huge. - Yeah, I'm pregnant.

- Look at you. When worlds collide. - Doctor, I'm pregnant.

Oh, look at you both. Five years later and you haven't changed a bit...

- apart from age and size. - It's good to see you, Doctor.

Are you pregnant?

Ah, Leadworth.

- Vibrant as ever. - It's Upper Leadworth, actually.

We've gone slightly upmarket.

- Where is everyone? - This is busy.

OK, it's quiet.

But it's really restful and healthy.

Loads of people here live well into their 90s.

Well, don't let that get you down.

It's not getting me down.

I wanted to see how you were.

I don't just abandon people when they leave the TARDIS.

This Time Lord's for life. You don't get rid of your old pal the Doctor so easily.

- You came here by mistake, didn't you? - Yeah,

bit of a mistake, but look, what a result.

Look at this...bench. What a nice bench.

What will they think of next?

So...what do you do around here to stave off the, you know...

- Boredom? - ...self-harm?

We relax.

We live.

- We listen to the birds. - Yeah, see?

Birds.

- Those are nice. - We didn't get a lot of time to listen

to birdsong back in the TARDIS days.

Oh, blimey! My head's a bit...ooh...

No, you're right,

there wasn't a lot of time for birdsong back in the good...

...old...

...days. What? No, yes, sorry, what?

Oh, you're OK.

Oh, thank God ! I had a terrible nightmare about you two.

That was scary.

Don't ask, you don't want to know.

- You're safe now. That's what counts. - Oh, OK.

Blimey, never dropped off like that before. Well, never, really.

I'm getting on a bit, you see.

Don't let the cool gear fool you. Now, what's wrong with the console?

Red flashing lights...

I bet they mean something.

- I also had a kind of dream thing. - Yeah, so did I.

Not a nightmare, though, just... We were married.

Yeah. In a little village.

A sweet little village, and you were pregnant.

Yes, I was huge. I was a boat.

So you had the same dream, then?

- Exactly the same dream? - Are you calling me a boat?

- Doctor, you were visiting. - Yeah, you came to our cottage.

How can we have had the same dream? It doesn't make any sense.

And you had a nightmare about us. What happened to us in the nightmare?

It was similar in some aspects.

- Which aspects? - All of them.

- You had the same dream? - Basically.

- You said it was a nightmare. - Did I say nightmare?

No. More of a really good...mare.

Look, it doesn't matter. We all had some kind of psychic episode.

We probably jumped a time track.

Forget it, we're back to reality now.

Doctor, if we're back to reality, how come I can still hear birds?

Yeah, the same birds. The same ones we heard in the dream.

Oh. Sorry. Nodded off, stupid.

God, I must be overdoing it.

I was dreaming we were back on the TARDIS.

- You had the same dream, didn't you? - Back on the TARDIS,

- weren't we just saying the same thing? - But we thought this was the dream.

I think so. Why do dreams have to fade so quickly?

- Doctor, what is going on? - Is this because of you?

- Is this because you've shown up again? - Listen to me. Trust nothing.

From now on, trust nothing you see, hear or feel.

But we're awake now.

You thought you were awake on the TARDIS too.

- But we're home. - Yeah. You're home.

You're also dreaming. Trouble is, Rory, Amy, which is which?

Are we flashing forwards...

or backwards?

Hold on tight.

This is going to be a tricky one.

This is bad. I don't like this.

Argh!

Never use force. You just embarrass yourself.

Unless you're cross, in which case... always use force.

- Shall I run and get the manual? - I threw it in a supernova.

You threw the manual in a supernova?

- Why? - Because I disagreed with it.

Stop talking to me when I'm cross.

OK, but whatever's wrong with the TARDIS,

is that what caused us to dream about the future?

- If we were dreaming of the future... - Of course we were. We were in Leadworth.

- Upper Leadworth. - Yeah,

and we could still be in Upper Leadworth,

- dreaming of this. Don't you get it? - No.

OK, no, this is real. I'm definitely awake.

And you thought you were awake when you were all elephanty.

Hey, pregnant.

You could be giving birth right now. This could be the dream.

I told you - trust nothing we see or hear or feel. Look around you.

Examine everything. Look for all the details that don't ring true.

OK, we're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside.

- With a bow tie-wearing alien. - Maybe "what rings true" isn't so simple.

Valid point.

It's dead.

We're in a dead time machine.

Remember - this is real,

but when we wake up in the other place, remember how real this feels.

It is real. I know it's real.

OK. This is the real one, definitely this one. It's all solid.

It felt solid in the TARDIS too.

You can't spot a dream while you're having it.

What are you doing?

Looking for motion blur, pixilation. It could be a computer simulation.

- I don't think so, though. - Hello, Doctor.

- Hello. - Hi.

- You're a doctor? - Yeah.

And, unlike you, I've actually passed some exams.

A doctor, not a nurse. Just like you've always dreamed.

- How interesting. - What is?

Your dream wife, your dream job, probably your dream baby.

- Maybe this is your dream. - It's Amy's dream too.

- Isn't it, Amy? - Yes. Course it is, yeah.

- What's that? - Old people's home.

You said everyone here lives to their 90s.

There's something that doesn't make sense.

Let's go and poke it with a stick.

Can we not do the running thing?

Oh, hello, Dr Williams.

Hello, Rory, love.

Hello, Mrs Poggit. How's your hip?

- A bit stiff. - Oh, easy, D-96 compound, plus...

No, you don't have that yet, forget that.

Who's your friend?

A junior doctor?

- Yes. - Can I borrow you?

You're the size of my grandson.

Er...

Slightly keen to move on. Freak psychic schism to sort out.

You're incredibly old, aren't you?

OK, I hate this, Doctor. Stop it.

Because this is definitely real, it's definitely this one.

- I keep saying that, don't I? - It's bloody cold.

- The heating's off. - The heating's off!

Yeah. Put on a jumper. That's what I always do.

Yes, sorry about Mrs Poggit. She's so lovely, though.

Oh, I wouldn't believe her nice old lady act if I were you.

What do you mean, "act"?

Everything's off, sensors, core power. We're drifting.

The scanner's down so we can't even see out. We could be anywhere.

Someone, something, is overriding my controls.

Well, that took a while.

Honestly, I'd heard such good things.

"Last of the Time Lords." "The Oncoming Storm."

"Him in the bow tie."

How did you get into my TARDIS?

- What are you? - What shall we call me?

Well, if you're the Time Lord, let's call me the Dream Lord.

- Nice look. - This? No, I'm not convinced.

Bow ties?

Interesting.

I'd love to be impressed, but Dream Lord - it's in the name, isn't it?

Spooky, not quite there.

- And yet very much here. - I'll do the talking, thank you.

Amy, want to take a guess at what... that is?

- Um...Dream Lord. He creates dreams. - Dreams, delusions,

- cheap tricks. - And what about the gooseberry here?

Does he get a guess?

Listen, mate, if anyone's the gooseberry around here, it's the Doctor.

Well, now, there's a delusion I'm not responsible for.

No, he is. Isn't he, Amy?

Oh, Amy, have to sort your men out.

Choose, even.

I have chosen. Of course I've chosen.

- It's you, stupid. - Oh, good, thanks.

You can't fool me. I've seen your dreams.

Some of them twice, Amy. Blimey! I'd blush...

if I had a blood supply or a real face.

Where did you pick up this cheap cabaret act?

- Me? Oh, you're on shaky ground. - Am I?

If you had any more tawdry quirks, you could open up a Tawdry Quirk Shop.

The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair,

the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student...

I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space dog,

just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are.

Where was I?

- Er...you were... - I know where I was.

So here's your challenge. Two worlds.

Here in the time machine, and there in the village that time forgot.

One is real, the other's fake. And just to make it more interesting,

you're going to face in both worlds a deadly danger.

But only one of the dangers is real. Tweet, tweet. Time to sleep.

Oh. Or are you waking up?

Oh, this is bad. This is very, very bad.

Look at this X-ray.

Your brain is completely see-through.

But then, I've always been able to see through you, Doctor.

- Always? What do you mean, always? - Now, then. The prognosis is this.

If you die in the dream, you wake up in reality.

Healthy recovery in next to no time.

- Ask what happens if you die in reality. - What happens?

You die, stupid. That's why it's called reality.

Have you met the Doctor before? Do you know him? Doctor, does he?

Now, don't get jealous. He's been around, our boy.

But never mind that. You've got a world to choose.

One reality was always too much for you, Doctor.

Take two and call me in the morning.

OK, I don't like him.

- Who is he? - I don't know.

It's a big universe.

Why is he doing this?

Maybe because he has no physical form.

That gets you down after a while, so he's taking it out on folk like us

who can touch and eat and feel.

What does he mean, "deadly danger"? Nothing deadly has ever happened here.

- A bit of natural wastage, obviously. - They've all gone.

They've all gone.

Stop. You two, over there.

Come on. We're going up to the castle now. All of you, come on.

- Why would they leave? - And what did you mean about Mrs Poggit's

- "nice old lady act"? - One of my tawdry quirks.

Sniffing out things that aren't what they seem.

So come on, let's think.

The mechanics of this reality split we're stuck in...

Time asleep exactly matches time in our dream world,

- unlike in conventional dreams. - And we're dreaming the same dream.

Yes, sort of communal trance, very rare. I'm sure there's a dream giveaway, a tell.

But my mind isn't working because... ...this village is so dull.

- I'm slowing down, like you two have. - Oh!

Ow!

Really. Ow!

- It's coming. - OK. You're a doctor. Help her.

- You're a doctor! - It's OK, we're doctors.

What do we do?

OK, it's not coming.

- What? - This is my life now,

and it just turned you white as a sheet.

So don't you call it dull again, ever. OK?

- Sorry. - Yeah.

Now, we all know there's an elephant in the room.

I have to be this size, I'm having a baby.

No, no. The hormones seem real, but no.

Is nobody going to mention Rory's ponytail?

You hold him down, I'll cut it off.

This from the man in the bow tie.

Bow ties are cool.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't hire Mrs Poggit as a babysitter.

What's she doing?

What does she want?

Oh, no, here we go.

It's really cold.

- Have you got any warm clothing? - What does it matter if we're cold?

We have to know what she's up to.

Sorry. Sorry. Um...

There should be some stuff down there, have a look.

I want the other life...

you know, where we're happy and settled and about to have a baby.

But don't you wonder, if that life is real,

then why would we give up all this?

Why would anyone?

Because we're going to freeze to death?

The Doctor'll fix it.

OK.

Because we're going to get married?

- Huh? - But we can still get married.

- Some day. - You don't want to any more.

- I thought you'd chosen me, not him. - You are always so insecure.

- You ran off with another man. - Not in that way.

- It was the night before our wedding ! - We're in a time machine.

It'll be the night before our wedding for as long as we want.

We have to grow up eventually.

Says who?

Ah, Rory, wind.

Amy, could you attach this to the monitor, please?

I was promised amazing worlds.

Instead I get duff central heating and a weird, kitcheny, wind-up device.

It's a generator. Get winding.

- It's not enough. - Rory, wind.

Why is the Dream Lord picking on you? Why us?

Where are we?

- We're in trouble. - What is that?

A star. A cold star.

That's why we're freezing. It's not a heating malfunction.

We're drifting towards a cold sun.

There's our deadly danger for this version of reality.

So this must be the dream. There's no such thing as a cold star. Stars burn.

- So's this one. It's just burning cold. - Is that possible?

I can't know everything. Why does everybody expect me to, always?

OK, this is something you haven't seen before.

So does that mean this is the dream?

I don't know.

But there it is, and I'd say we've got about 14 minutes until we crash into it.

But that's not a problem.

Because you know how to get us out of this?

- Because we'll have frozen to death. - Then what are we going to do?

Stay calm. Don't get sucked in to it,

because this just might be the battle we have to lose.

- Oh, this is so you, isn't it? - What?

What? A weird new star, 14 minutes left to live

and only one man to save the day, huh?

I just wanted a nice village and a family.

Oh, dear, Doctor. Dissent in the ranks.

There was an old doctor from Gallifrey,

Who ended up throwing his life away.

He let down his friends and...

Oh, no. We've run out of time.

Don't spend too long there,

or you'll, um...

catch your death here.

Where have the children gone?

Don't know. Playtime's probably over. Ah! You see?

This is the real one. I just feel it. Don't you feel it?

- I feel it both places. - I feel it here. It's just so...

tranquil and relaxed.

Nothing bad could ever happen here.

Not really me, though, is it?

Would I be happy settling down in a place with a pub,

two shops and a really bad amateur dramatic society? I got pregnant

so I don't have to see them doing Oklahoma!

Doctor, what are you doing? And what are those piles of dust?

Playtime's definitely over.

Oh, my God !

What happened to them?

I think they did.

- They're just old people. - No.

They're very old people.

Sorry, Rory, I don't think you're what's been keeping them alive.

Hello, peasants! What's this? Attack of the old people?

Oh, that's ridiculous.

This has got to be the dream, hasn't it? What do you think, Amy?

Let's all jump under a bus and wake up in the TARDIS. You first!

- Leave her alone! - Do that again.

I love it when he does that -

- tall, dark hero, "Leave her alone!" - Just leave her!

Yes, you're not quite so impressive. But I know where your heart lies,

- don't I, Amy Pond? - Shut up!

- Just shut up and leave me alone. - But listen, you're in there.

Loves a redhead, our naughty Doctor. Has he told you about Elizabeth the First?

- Well, she thought she was the first... - Drop it, all of it. I know who you are.

- Course you don't. - Course I do. No idea how you're here,

but there's only one person in the universe who hates me as much as you do.

Never mind me. Maybe you should worry about them.

- Hi. - Hello.

We were wondering where you went. To get reinforcements, by the look of it.

- Are you all right? You look a bit tense. - Hello, Mr Nainby.

- Rory... - Mr Nainby ran the sweet shop.

He used to slip me the odd free toffee.

Did I not say thank you?

Whoa !

- How did he do that?! - He's not himself. Don't get comfortable.

- You may have to run. Fast. - Can't we just talk to them?!

- There is an eye in her mouth ! - There's a whole creature inside her.

Inside all of them. They've been there for years, living and waiting .

That is disgusting ! They're not going to be peeping out of anywhere else, are they?

Run ! ...OK, leave them. Talk to me. Talk to me.

You are Eknod ines, a proud, ancient race. You're better than this.

Why are you hid ing away here? Why aren't you at home?

- We were driven from our pl... - Planet by upstart neighbours.

- So we've... - Been living here inside the bodies

of old humans for years.

No wonder they live so long, you're keeping them alive.

We were humbled and destroyed .

Now we will do the same to others.

OK, makes sense, I suppose. Credible enough.

- Could be real. - Morning .

You need to leave this planet.

Wait! Stop!

After all I've done for the over-70s in this village.

OK, this is crazy. She loves me, I fixed her depression.

- She's just a little old lady. - Mrs Hamill,

we don't understand ...

I'll deal with this one, Chubs. Now...

I can't hit her.

Whack her!

We just ran away.

- We just abandoned the Doctor. - Don't ever call me Chubs again.

We don't see him for years, and somehow we don't really connect any more,

- then...then he takes the bullet for us. - Hey, he'll be fine.

You know the Doctor. He's Mr Cool.

Oh, I love a good butcher's, don't you?

We've got to use these places or they'll shut down.

Oh, but you're probably a vegetarian, you big, flop-haired wuss.

Oh, pipe down. I'm busy.

Maybe you need a little sleep.

Oh, wait a moment -

if you fall asleep here, several dozen angry pensioners

will destroy you with their horrible eye thingies.

Fingers in the ear?

Brilliant! What's next? Shouting "boo"?

Come in. Come in.

Yes, we've got lots at steak here this week. Lots at steak.

Get it?

Are these jokes wasted on you?

Wait, wait.

- Stop... - Oh ! Oh, I can't watch.

Ah, it's colder.

The three of us have to agree, now, which is the dream.

- It's this, here. - He could be right.

The science is all wrong here.

- Burning ice? - No, no, no.

Ice can burn, sofas can read - it's a big universe.

We have to agree which battle to lose. All of us, now.

OK, which world do you think is real?

- This one. - No. The other one.

Yeah, but are we disagreeing or competing?

Competing? Over what?

Nine minutes till impact.

What temperature is it?

Outside? How many noughts have you got? Inside?

I don't know, but I can't feel my feet and ...other parts.

- I think all my parts are basically fine. - Stop competing !

Can't we call for help?

Yeah, cos the universe is quite small and there's bound to be someone nearby!

Put these on, both of you.

Oh, a poncho. The biggest crime against fashion since lederhosen.

Here we go!

Pond and her boys...my poncho boys.

If we're going to die, let's die looking like a Peruvian folk band.

We're not going to die.

No, we're not, but our time's running out. If we fall asleep here, we're in trouble.

If we could divide up, then we'd have an active presence in each world,

but the Dream Lord is switching us between the worlds - why, why, what's the logic?

Goodidea, veggie.

Let's divide you three up, so I can have a little chat with our lovely companion.

Maybe I'll keep her, and you can have Pointy Nose to yourself for all eternity,

should you manage to clamber aboard

some sort of reality.

- Can you hear that? - What? No.

Amy, don't be scared, we'll be back.

- Rory, Doctor, don't leave me. - Amy...

we're going to have fun, aren't we?

No, please, not alone.

Sorry.

I'm sorry. Sorry...

Sorry.

OK, where is it?

Help! Help, somebody!

You couldn't live near the shops, could you?

It's OK, it's only me.

Get in, get in, get in. Quickly, quickly, over here.

Quickly, come on, jump in. Quick, get in now, quickly. Hurry up.

Are we in?

Come on, let's go, quickly, all four, that's it, everyone in.

Poor Amy.

He always leaves you, doesn't he,

alone in the dark?

- Never apologises. - He doesn't have to.

That's good,

because he never will.

And now he's left you with me.

Spooky, old, not-to-be-trusted me.

Anything could happen.

Who are you?

And what do you want?

The Doctor knows you, but he's not telling me who you are.

And he always does. Takes him a while sometimes, but he tells me.

So you're something different.

Oh, is that who you think you are? The one he trusts?

Actually, yes.

The only girl in the universe to whom the Doctor tells everything?

Yes.

So what's his name?

Now, which one of these men would you really choose?

Look at them.

You ran away with a handsome hero.

Would you really give him up for a bumbling country doctor

who thinks the only thing he needs to be interesting is a ponytail?

- Stop it! - But maybe it's better

than loving and losing the Doctor.

Pick a world and this nightmare will all be over.

They'll listen to you. It's you they're waiting for.

Amy's men.

Amy's choice.

Everybody, out, out, out!

Into the church, that's right. Don't answer the door.

It's make-your-mind-up time in both worlds.

Bye. I need to find my friends.

" Friends"? Is that the right word for the people you acquire?

Friends are people you stay in touch with.

Your friends never see you again once they've grown up.

The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not?

OK...

- How did I get up here? - I carried you.

I'm afraid you may experience some bruising .

- Where's the Doctor? - I don't know.

I want to do something for you.

I was starting to like it.

Sorry, had to stop off at the butcher's.

- What are we going to do? - I don't know.

I thought the freezing TARDIS was real, but now I'm not so sure.

Oh ! I think the baby's starting .

Honestly?

- Would I make it up at a time like this?! - Well, you do have a history of...

being very lovely.

Why are they so desperate to kill us?

They're scared . Fear generates savagery.

Rory!

Rory!

- No! I'm not ready. - Stay.

Look after our baby.

No.

No.

Come back.

Save him.

You save everyone. You always do.

It's what you do.

Not always.

I'm sorry.

Then what is the point of you?

This is the dream. Definitely, this one.

Now, if we die here, we wake up, yeah?

Unless we just die.

Either way, this is my only chance of seeing him again.

- This is the dream. - How do you know?

Because if this is real life, I don't want it. I don't want it.

Why aren't they attacking?

Either because this is just a dream, or because they know what we're about to do.

Be very sure. This could be the real world .

It can't be. Rory isn't here.

I didn't know. I didn't, I didn't, I honestly didn't, till right now.

I just want him.

OK.

I loved Rory, and I never told him, but now he's gone.

So...

you chose this world .

Well done. You got it right.

And with only seconds left.

Fair's fair. Let's warm you up.

I hope you've enjoyed your little fictions.

It all came out of your imagination, so I'll leave you to ponder on that.

I have been defeated .

I shall withdraw.

Farewell.

Something happened . I... What happened to me?

I...

Oh.

Oh, right.

This is good .

I am liking this.

Was it something I said?

Could you tell me what it was, so I can use it in emergencies?

And maybe birthdays.

- What are we doing now? - Me? I'm going to blow up the TARDIS.

What?

Notice how helpful the Dream Lord was?

OK, there was misinformation, red herrings, malice,

and I could have done without the limerick.

But he was always very keen to make us choose between dream and reality.

What are you doing?!

The Dream Lord conceded . This isn't the dream !

- Yes, it is! - Stop him.

Star burning cold? Do me a favour!

The Dream Lord has no power over the real world .

He was offering us a choice between two dreams.

- How do you know that? - Because I know who he is.

- Any questions? - Hah !

Um...

What's that?

A speck of psychic pollen from the candle meadows of Karass don Slava.

Must have been hanging around for ages.

Fell in the time rotor, heated up and induced a dream state for all of us.

So that was the Dream Lord, then?

Those little specks.

No, no. No.

Sorry, wasn't it obvious? The Dream Lord was me.

Psychic pollen, it's a mind parasite.

It feeds on everything dark in you.

Gives it a voice, turns it against you.

I'm 907. It had a lot to go on.

- But why didn't it feed on us, too? - The darkness in you pair?

It would've starved to death in an instant.

I choose my friends with great care.

Otherwise I'm stuck with my own company, and you know how that works out.

But those things he said about you.

You don't think any of that's true?

Amy, right now a question is about to occur to Rory.

And seeing as the answer is about to change his life,

I think you should give him your full attention.

- Yeah. Actually, yeah. - There it is.

What I don't get is you blew up the TARDIS,

that stopped that dream, but what stopped the Leadworth dream?

- We crashed the camper van. - Oh, right. I don't remember that bit.

No, you weren't there. You were already...

Already what?

Dead . You died in that dream. Mrs Pogg it got you.

OK.

But how did you know it was a dream, before you crashed the van?

How did you know you wouldn't just die?

I didn't.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah, "Oh".

So...

Well, then, where now?

Or should I just pop down to the swimming pool for a few lengths?

I don't know. Anywhere's good for me.

I'm happy anywhere.

It's up to Amy this time.

Amy's choice.