Original subtitles

Sweet dreams... are an ideal preface to the dawn.

We can begin in sunshine and with purpose.

We can draw from a well,

filled with rest and possibility.

Nothing has been started, nothing has been spent.

If we're lucky.

Each day dawns blank -

a sheet of paper waiting for our story.

We start to create it the moment that we wake.

More marmalade?

Do tuck in, plenty more where that came from.

You can say that again.

I think what Nurse Crane means is, well,

variety is the spice of life.

Oh. Would you like me to make a different flavour?

No! Oh...

Good morning, Lucille! Morning...

You were on my mind the minute I woke up this morning.

I had fun and games last night

with the set of the sleeve on your cardigan.

There's no rush.

I've a bit of special one for your district list today.

Mr Thomas Woodleigh, 11 Calafat Street. Born 1889.

It appeared he took a tumble on his front step.

Multiple sutures in his left hand,

dressing changes needed and whilst detained overnight,

he underwent a test

that suggests a degree of macular degeneration.

So, he is losing his sight?

Further tests required apparently,

and Mr Woodleigh is refusing to co-operate.

See if you can get him to trust you.

Then we can move things on.

Hands up everyone who remembered their PE kit!

Me!

Hands up everybody taking tadpoles for the nature table!

Me!

Hands up everyone with a delivery bag

and wearing a nurse's uniform!

Oh, I'm sorry!

I was looking for something to donate to the raffle!

Ah, this is perfect.

Well, that was a present from a grateful patient!

Why can't you give them that Liebfraumilch?

It's been sitting there since New Year.

The Liebfraumilch? Oh, I don't think so.

I'm sure we'll have a use for it at some point

and we never drink whisky.

What's that?

It's the girls' measurements for their Maypole costumes!

All I have to do is drop them off with Miss Nadine.

Teddy, do not take the lid off that Tupperware box!

Sister, I collected the urn up from the Florrie,

where shall I leave it?

Thank you Cyril.

In my view, it should remain in the Florrie.

And Sister Julienne should entertain her friends there.

It's an opportunity to give first time mothers

some practical advice, in a less formal environment.

And I hope they enjoy each other's company.

I intuit the hand of Sister Veronica.

No, it was all my idea.

Although I do admit,

Sister Veronica's arrival has lifted my spirits

and freed me to spend more time with the people that we serve.

This parlour is a place of quietude and reflection...

and the television.

I am not in favour of this...

invasion!

Nurse? You looking for Nadine? Yes.

I think she might have popped out.

Worse than that...

Whoa! Slow down, Lil!

If the boss finds out I let you drive the van,

he'll have my guts for garters.

You worry too much.

Miss Nadine has had an ovary removed.

A very nasty case of torsion, according to Sister.

Oh, no.

The neighbour said she was screaming

as they carried her into the ambulance!

Well, she will be on Female Surgical

for at least a fortnight.

And may then need to convalesce away from home.

I believe her little girl is staying with a friend,

but I've no idea

who's looking after the dancing school.

Unmarried ladies are often extremely resourceful.

I imagine she has a plan in place for all disasters.

Well, I know she hasn't a plan in place

for the Maypole dance at Whitsuntide.

I'd refer it to the committee.

But now she's in hospital and Violet's away,

the committee is really just me.

Let's get out of here.

Who is it? District Nurse calling.

The cut is healing nicely, Mr Woodleigh.

We'll be getting these stitches out by the end of the week.

Can you get the smell of milk out of me trousers

while you're at it?

Oh, I made a right fool of myself tripping over that crate.

Glass everywhere. Gold top everywhere.

Gold top? I like your style.

Oh, I've got this grandson done, well for himself.

He pays the milkman for me, yeah.

Yeah, he keeps me in biscuits and all.

There's a tin here, somewhere...

Oh, on the table? Oh yeah, that's them.

He gets some Royal Appointment shop up West to deliver 'em.

Classy. Some of them are rock hard.

And I can't dip 'em in me tea

cause they're covered in chocolate.

You're lucky to have family around you, Mr Woodleigh.

Depends what you mean by "around".

I've never been to my grandson's house.

The one who sends you the biscuits?

And the rest, they've just gone.

Gone where?

No one is forcing me out of Poplar. Or this house.

I worked them wharves for near 60 years.

You were a docker?

Oh er, here, oh here, make us a cup of tea, Nurse.

I mean, I'd do it, only I reckon my hand won't let me.

Everyone here has expressed an interest

in attending a breastfeeding demonstration.

Therefore, Mrs Wade has kindly brought baby Simon in today.

Luckily for us, he sounds as though he's rather hungry!

Those little contented noises they make when they're feeding.

Bit like my old man when he's got his Sunday lunch!

Your bodies will change rapidly

as you approach the birth itself.

That can cause some breast tenderness.

Do you want one of your biscuits? Er, not really.

Er, tea.

Your grandson might be hurt if he came to visit

and thought you weren't enjoying them.

He won't visit. Are there any Marie biscuits?

No. I'm afraid they're all a bit more superior.

I like a Marie biscuit.

Mr Woodleigh,

I'll be coming back to check on your hand

until we take the stitches out.

But you know we're going to have to address the trouble

with your eyesight too, don't you? I manage!

It's like I'm looking through a window

that's been badly cleaned...

with a great dark streak across the middle.

Is it like that now?

Can you see me? Well, not if you move about!

Can you describe me? Nurse's dress.

And I don't think you're a Londoner.

But that might just be the sound of your voice.

You've got a nice voice. Thank you.

I'm going to speak to the occupational therapists.

We'll see what they can do to make life easier for you.

My life isn't hard.

Thank you, Sister. That was ever so nice.

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it, Mrs Reynolds!

I'm Lilian. Lilian.

I didn't like to mention it in front of everyone, but...

one of my bosoms is really sore. Just one?

Yes, sore and I don't know... as if it's a bit hot?

Well, why don't we take a look at it in clinic tomorrow?

I'm sure we can put your mind at ease.

Flower, sorry I'm late! Don't worry.

Did they keep you in the office? No.

But I had to go and see Brother Selwyn and Sister Mary.

They're being evicted from their flat.

But they've just done all those repairs

and got it all spruced up!

And their neighbours objected to their presence.

That is against the law! We all know that.

They're going to stay with his family in Brixton

and look for a new home there.

Perhaps there's safety in numbers.

There's no safety anywhere.

Lucille have faith.

And if you can't have faith,

will you just allow me tell you something nice?

Please tell me something nice.

I've booked a telephone call home to Jamaica.

To Jamaica? When! Tomorrow night!

But it isn't even Christmas, or anybody's birthday!

How did you even manage to do it without me finding out?

I'm just very good at keeping a neutral expression and secrets.

If I took up poker, I might even make some money!

# #

What on earth happened nine months ago?

Must've been a power cut.

Hello.

Lillian?

Me and my husband can't wait!

Am I still on course to have it at home, Doctor?

Absolutely.

Baby, blood pressure, urine, they're all spot-on.

Everything is as it should be in that regard.

And I can still do the splits!

Well, probably.

I haven't tried since I've been in the family way.

I would hope not!

I was a red coat. I worked at a holiday camp.

That's how I met my Ronnie.

I was entertainment, he was maintenance.

Well, they do say opposites attract.

Doctor, Mrs Reynolds...

Lilian, raised a concern about some discomfort with her breast.

I wondered if we might take a look at it before she leaves?

Of course.

Goodness, that does look sore!

I wondered this morning if it was my bra.

I've just changed soap powders.

Lilian is getting dressed.

I think the speed with which

you've referred her to St Cuthbert's

has shaken her a little.

I haven't much choice.

The skin feels warm, as though there's an infection.

But, she doesn't have a temperature.

And it's extremely unlikely that it's mastitis,

because she's still pregnant.

She's very keen to breastfeed.

Well, let's get the girl some answers.

The wedding photographs

were the best wedding photographs I have ever seen.

I have such a beautiful frame for the one of Celine and Edwin!

Tell her we'll send her a photo of the photograph.

What do you mean wait till I hear the news...

Well yes, of course I will act surprised when she tells me.

That is lovely! And so soon after the wedding.

We will be needing an even bigger photo frame!

Celine is having a baby. Hallelujah. Praise Jesus.

Cyril says Hallelujah. Praise Jesus.

Lucille. Lucille.

Lucille.

Our time will come...

Here, I wouldn't mind her giving me a bed bath!

Ronnie! I've never known anyone

who could lower the tone like you.

Mrs Reynolds? You can come through.

You can wait here, Sir. Oh...

Morning, Mr Woodleigh.

Here I come, all bright and breezy.

You, you don't sound bright and breezy.

I'll have a look at your hand,

then I'll take you through the appointments

we've arranged about your eyesight.

Well, you'll need to open them curtains,

or you'll not be able to see what you're about.

The curtains are wide open, Mr Woodleigh.

And it's a sunny day. Is it?

Oh... Oh, I can't see anything, all of a sudden.

All of a sudden? Not on this side.

I thought x-rays were for looking at your bones.

Not your bosoms.

Oh, you'd be surprised what we get up to.

I've never heard of anyone having a biopsy.

I'm not even sure what it is.

It will all be over in two ticks.

And you really can't see anything at all

out of the left one now?

Drops. That's what you need to give me.

Eye drops'll put it right. I wish they could.

The trouble is, Mr Woodleigh,

I think you've had some bleeding at the back of your eye.

Is that this mac... maculitis they said I've got or...

Macular degeneration, yes. I think so.

Well, we need to get you to a specialist

before we can be sure.

Mr Woodleigh already has an appointment booked

at the eye hospital.

In a fortnight's time.

I wouldn't mind getting this looked at sooner.

Now the thing is, Tommy, at your age,

macular degeneration usually progresses slowly.

Just creeps up on you.

But it can make sudden lunges forward, like this.

I reckon an ambulance ride is in order.

Good morning, Cyril. Is Fred about?

Oh, I'm standing in for him

while he drives Violet to the railway station.

Well, I hope she has a lovely holiday in Jersey

with the Lady Haberdashers Forum.

Meanwhile, since I've had no choice but to take over

the organisation of the Whitsun event from Miss Nadine,

I'm refreshing everyone's memory

regarding their responsibilities!

This is for Fred.

Kindly draw his attention to it when he returns.

Of course. All hands on deck!

I've put you in charge of the Maypole.

Retrieval, refurbishment and safe installation.

Er, consider me at your service.

All I can say Cyril,

is I wish there were more like you!

Next. The raffle!

Your razor and your toothbrush are in this bag.

You hang on to it now.

I'll only get in that ambulance if you promise me

I'm coming home again.

Of course you're coming home!

They'll only keep you in for a night or two.

I need to be where I belong.

Even if you can't see home, you can smell it.

Well, we've had a day and a half of it at the maternity home!

Two deliveries and then a very weepy admission for bedrest,

Gladys Pryor?

Have you had a day of it too, lass?

Today, I had to look after an old man

who has no family and is almost completely blind.

Tommy Woodleigh?

The trick is to remind yourself

of what you have actually done to help.

Now...

You've heard because Miss Nadine is poorly,

there's been some changes to the Maypole display.

No costumes. Just Sunday best, with white hair ribbons.

Auntie Shelagh says she'll lend me a party dress of Angela's.

Well, I've got news for you. There's no need!

Is this for me? Run and try it on.

That's an expensive little boutique.

Matthew bought a sailor suit for Jonty from there,

he said his wallet needed gas and air.

Oh, once in a while doesn't hurt.

And I want Colette to know she's as good as anybody else...

That's not how you take somebody's pulse, Cyril.

Maybe I just like touching you.

Reminding me that the girl I love is still in there.

That her heart's still beating like it always did.

I'm not dead, Cyril.

So, get up. I'll pour you some coffee.

And you can face the day.

There's a stain on my dress.

I keep meaning to deal with it.

I'll get you a damp cloth.

I was hoping for a punctual start this morning.

Is there any other kind?

Apparently so if one is a Health Visitor!

Perhaps Sister Veronica's concerns are less pressing.

Should I answer that? No.

You are not a telephonist!

This is Nonnatus House. There is no-one here to attend to you.

Meanwhile, there has been no comment

about the uncharacteristic tardiness of Nurse Robinson.

It is four minutes past the hour.

Latecomers are my domain. And I shall deal with them.

Good morning, Sister Julienne. Greetings!

Good morning, Sister.

I feel it might be appropriate for you

to pop in on Lilian Reynolds this morning.

She was on the telephone first thing,

fretting about her home delivery pack.

I thought she sounded very on edge. Of course.

She's due a routine urine test and I'd like to er,

check on her biopsy site.

Sister, do you not find it funny

taking orders like the rest of us?

No. I'm simply a midwife, amongst midwives.

It makes me happier than I can say.

I'm sorry about the mess, Sister.

My husband's like a little kid,

always taking things apart to see how they work.

As long as he puts them back together again.

He only does that when people pay him!

When it's our own belongings,

it's like he only does it to satisfy his curiosity.

This biopsy seems to be healing very nicely.

My skin's still really sore and itchy, though!

Lilian, a biopsy is a test, not a form of treatment.

Did the specialist not explain that to you?

He was quite breezy, really.

He said it looked "a bit naughty"

and it wasn't usual to see breast tissue

looking like orange peel.

All dimpled and what-not.

Did you ask him what he thought the problem might be?

I didn't really ask him anything.

I just wanted to get my bra back on and out of there.

I didn't feel comfortable without my underpinnings.

I was never that sort of entertainer.

So often these days,

now that medicine can do so much,

doctors investigate simply because they can.

And the results can be very reassuring.

I do hope so, Sister.

Because I've had a call to go and see him

at the hospital this afternoon.

That's my Ronnie, come to pick me up.

Mrs Wallace! I'm so glad you could come.

Many apologies if I smell of disinfectant, Nurse Crane.

I've come straight from the hospital.

I probably smell of sterilising fluid!

My last act on duty was to make up a dozen baby bottles.

We both know why we're here, Mrs Wallace.

Lucille is so loved, by so many people!

But she is going further and further downhill.

And it breaks my heart to see it.

She needs help, Mrs Wallace. You mean medical help?

It may become a requirement.

But Lucille sets such store by her religion,

I was wondering if there might be some comfort

in her faith for her?

There's always comfort in faith, Nurse Crane.

The trouble comes when you stop believing that.

Please will you try and find a way through for her?

Nurse Crane, that is what a church is for.

You leave it with me.

It might be that nurse you fancy.

You ought to ask her if she's anything wants mending.

Do come through, Mrs Reynolds. Oh and Mr Reynolds, too.

I've come round with my begging bowl, Sister.

Have you anything for the Whitsun raffle?

I have often had cause to wish

we lived in a less godly society.

For wherever there is altruism, there is invariably a raffle!

# #

Marmalade! And plenty of it.

Good gracious, someone's been busy!

There must be a year's supply in here.

The gesture is not entirely devoid of self-interest.

Wanna cup of tea, Lil? I don't know.

I don't know, Ronnie! I don't know what's happened.

I don't know what he said!

It was like my blood was rushing in my ears,

drowning his voice out!

He was smiling wasn't he?

He can't have been saying anything that bad!

He was saying you've got cancer, Lil.

I can't have cancer!

Cancer is a lump and I haven't got a lump!

And I'm having a baby!

Nobody gets cancer when they're pregnant!

Miss Higgins, I think I need to speak to Mr Sawyer

at St Cuthbert's.

He's just written to me about Lilian Reynolds diagnosis.

It's a really rare type of cancer involving inflammation.

I've never come across this before...

I'll seek to connect you immediately.

But perhaps you'd like to take the call in your office?

After which you can confer with... Mr Reynolds.

We, er, we thought you might know what's happening.

Where's Lilian? She's at home.

Erm, she was too upset to leave the house.

I would like to be connected to Mr Sawyer, please.

Consultant General Surgeon.

Mr Sawyer took me through your diagnosis, step by step.

Could you understand what he was saying?

Some doctors are better at talking to other doctors

than they are to people.

I'm sorry if he didn't make things clear enough to you.

Your variant of breast cancer is very, very unusual.

He's only ever seen one case before.

It is cancer then?

I'm afraid it is, Lilian.

He only ever said that word once.

He used all kinds of other words.

Like "problem" and "malignancy" and "disease".

But he only said "cancer" once.

I was hoping it was a slip of the tongue!

And I haven't got a lump... it's just sore.

Mr Sawyer recommends that you start treatment

as soon as possible.

And we will be with you every step of the way.

But I'm having a baby!

How can I feed my baby if they cut my breast off!

You won't have a mastectomy.

It isn't suitable for this kind of cancer.

The best treatment, at the moment, is radiotherapy.

Mr Woodleigh? I know that voice.

I thought you was a district nurse.

I am.

But I was passing by on my way home

and I thought you might like a packet of Marie biscuits.

Oh, now you're talking! It's not much.

But I thought you might not have anyone to bring you anything.

Oh, well they're all so far away.

I'll write to 'em when I get home, tell them the good news.

Have you had good news? Oh well, not about me eyes.

They say I'll never get my sight back.

No, the good news will be that I'm back in my own house.

And writing letters?

A man can dream. Yes.

What, what do you dream of?

I can't tell you, Mr Woodleigh.

It might not come true otherwise.

They'll be bringing the tea soon. You enjoy your biscuits.

Shelagh, are you ready?

Excellent! I need another B.

You come in here, between Sister Veronica and Nancy.

Right, everyone, extend your free arm.

What are we doing? Don't interrupt.

Now, team A are going to process in a clockwise direction

and team B anti clockwise.

Am I A or B? You're The Maypole!

Don't we all just go in the same direction?

Not according to these 'excellent',

if not quite complicated,

instructions Miss Nadine's provided.

What do we do next?

If I've read this correctly,

the A's go underneath the B's extended arm.

Then the next B and so on.

Shall we give it a go?

# #

One, two, three and...

Clockwise Nancy!

Don't forget to skip!

It's not funny!

I've got to teach this to Miss Nadine's dance school.

Oh, can you not teach them the twist instead?

I know that one!

Lil', Sister Julienne's here...

Have you come about the baby? Or about the cancer?

That's not a question anyone should have to ask, is it?

But I can answer it.

I've come about you First and foremost, I am your midwife.

And my overwhelming concern is for your well-being

and for that of the baby.

But the cancer specialist wants radiation to start

within the next two weeks, so he has asked if...

the baby can be induced. In hospital.

I wanted to have it here, at home!

With Ronnie holding my hand.

An appointment has been made for you on the maternity ward

at St Cuthbert's. On Monday.

I'm not ready! I'm just not ready!

I used to have a whole routine before I went on stage.

I'd line up my tap shoes and my ballet shoes.

I'd have a particular way of setting out everything.

Eyelashes. Panstick. Lipstick.

Getting ready was part of the performance.

And getting ready is part of this. I'm so sorry.

We haven't even thought of a name.

So, no home birth for Lilian Reynolds.

Oh! And I suppose that decision was made for her.

Without consultation or agreement.

And certainly not with her approval.

All I could do was pass on the news, as kindly as possible.

I saw this day after day

when I was looking after my Godmother Daphne.

It's as though cancer is this monstrous bully.

This great dictator whose voice must be heard first,

who must be considered before all else!

And very often before the wishes of the patient.

And we're not used to that, are we? Hmm.

The mother is at the heart of everything we do.

It's kind of you to offer to pray with us, Mrs Wallace.

But I'm not sure we should force the issue, given...

Lucille's state of mind.

Lucille's state of mind is forcing the issue!

The girl is under spiritual attack!

And you are her Pastor as well as her husband.

I know I am.

And that doesn't make things any easier.

All we're going to do is pray!

You don't have to anoint her.

You don't have to lay hands on her!

You just have to give the Holy Spirit a chance!

I have given the Holy Spirit every chance!

I have given Him the chance

to make me feel welcome in this country!

I have given Him the chance to put a child inside my body.

I have given Him opportunity, after opportunity.

And either He has failed me, or I have failed in His Grace -

That isn't possible, Lucille.

If you think that, then you can't see me clearly!

Or perhaps you aren't even looking!

You're gonna have to come and live with us, Grandad.

Harlow is not the moon.

You don't need an oxygen helmet, or even vaccinations.

I seen it on the newsreel when they built it.

There was cows.

There's more concrete now than

there is down the Commercial Road.

You'll feel right at home! Mr Woodleigh?

Ah! Is that my little foreign nurse?

I came to ask for your permission to admit

the occupational therapist to your house.

So, she can assess you for aids. Hey. Hear that? My house.

No-one's telling me where I can or can't live.

Not my granddaughters, not my daughters. No one.

Is this your family? Some of us.

My mum's gone out for a smoke in the dayroom.

I thought you didn't have any family!

Apart from the one who sends you the posh biscuits!

Hah! My Grandad's a bigger liar than Pinocchio.

He's got three daughters, eleven grandkids,

including Simon, the biscuit monitor.

And these are his youngest great-grandchildren.

You all left Poplar without a backward glance.

Which suited you down to the ground.

You can't take somebody's independence off 'em,

if they're alone in the world.

Just hold Nicole for a minute.

I need to get her a bottle.

What about Harold? It's a good solid name.

For somebody's grandad. I want something modern.

Paul then. Or John.

You can't get much more modern than a Beatle.

What if it's a girl?

How about Yoko?

Are you in discomfort, Lilian?

It's them practice contractions. She gets loads of 'em.

It's just that your blood pressure's up a tiny bit.

And that can happen when you're in labour.

If I'm in labour, you're going to make me go to hospital!

# #

Nonnatus House, midwife speaking?

She's four fingers dilated already and doing well.

Sister, if we can't put her first, who will?

Midwife. May I come in?

Step right in! Perfect timing.

Lilian's waters just broke and we needed to change the bed.

Well done!

You're going to make me go to St Cuthbert's now, aren't you?

Because of the cancer.

Just for tonight, the cancer is not relevant.

You are going to have the baby here...

Here? At home?

If that's what you choose.

I do choose it.

Where is Mrs Turner?!

Oh, she's caught up at work most probably.

Those babies don't work to the same time clock as we do.

I hope she hurries up,

this is like being stuck inside a migraine.

Cease this, at once!

I came to watch a rehearsal of the Maypole dancing,

not a re-enactment of the battle of Agincourt.

Baby's head is advancing, Lilian! Well done.

Yes! That's my girl!

Oh shut up. I need to concentrate!

Another one?

Lilian, I'm going to apply some pressure

to prevent Baby's head from being born too quickly.

Now give me a steady, steady push...

and pant!

And here's your reward. Baby's head!

Really?

Well done, sweetie!

Can I touch it? Is it real?

Ah yes! Now use the pain!

You have a daughter!

A girl!

I told you.

The most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

We won't be calling her Harold anyway.

She's absolute perfection.

So, I can't think of a better name for her than Lilian.

Lilian's old-fashioned.

It's a name from the past. My mum's name. Her mum's...

Andrea. Andrea Lilian Reynolds.

Put Lilian in the middle, where she won't lose it.

I'm so sorry, there was a forceps delivery.

Don't worry, it all worked out. # #

One and two and three and four.

That is magnificent, class!

Sister Monica Joan,

why didn't you tell us you knew the Maypole dance?

You omitted to enquire.

Mr Woodleigh chose to isolate himself.

It was his way of saying, "The world no longer suits me.

It is turning in a way I do not choose, so I will stand still.

Shut the door".

I thought you said you liked him.

Perhaps he saw himself in me.

He knew I was mourning for home, he heard it in my voice.

I hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes.

Even when they're closed

and your lashes come halfway down your cheek.

Do you remember dancing outside, in the dark,

when I was mending Nurse Crane's car?

I remember you picking me up on that motorbike

that you borrowed for our first date.

With you in your tiny yellow dress and your giant hair.

Giant, expensive hair. Blowing all over the place.

I got in that sidecar next to you and I thought,

"This is the beginning of a journey.

And I don't know where it's going to end."

And I put my foot on that kick-starter and I thought,

"This is it. I'm never getting off this ride."

I have to get better, Cyril.

In the morning, I'm going to the doctor.

Thank you.

Lilian, dear, we need you take these pills.

What are they?

They're called Stilboestrol

and they will prevent you from lactating.

It will be better if we stop any milk flow

before the radiotherapy begins.

It wouldn't be good for Andrea, would it?

Feeding off a breast that's diseased,

never mind full of radiation.

Can I ask you a question? I want you to.

Do you think God is punishing me?

I haven't always lived a virtuous life. In fact...

I've never lived a virtuous life.

I don't believe in a God that punishes.

The God I know is full of love.

He's got a funny way of showing it, sometimes.

I can fix just about anything, but I can't fix her.

I can't imagine the world without her...

I can't imagine bringing up a baby on my own.

Please don't imagine that yet.

Lilian's about to start treatment.

And, and no-one will tell us if it is gonna cure her!

And I can't either. But I can tell you to hope.

Men don't look after babies. Not without their wives.

Oh, I promise you they do. And they do it well.

But it isn't just the baby that needs you now.

It's Lilian, too.

She hasn't stopped being your wife

just because she's a mother.

Or because she's ill...

I wish, erm...

I wish I knew more about babies.

They're much less complicated than television sets,

I assure you.

Good morning, Nurse Robinson. Oh, good morning, Miss Higgins.

Would it be possible for me to see Doctor Turner?

And what is it regarding?

Erm, I need to speak with him about something personal.

I wasn't sure if you'd put your white coat on.

If you'd treat me as a physician. Or like a friend.

I can be either.

Because I'm both. I have such a lot of friends.

Even my husband is my friend.

And they've all tried to help me and got nowhere.

I think I want you to be my doctor. That's alright.

And from everything you've told me about your feelings,

even your physical symptoms -

the, the lethargy, the headaches,

medical intervention is what you need.

I know the way through these woods, Lucille.

Now, before we move on, I have to ask you one last thing.

Have you found yourself thinking of hurting yourself?

Yes...

Yesterday...

I went walking...

I stood by the road.

I stared at the traffic...

I stared at the road thinking, maybe it could take me home.

In what way? If I died on it.

# All my love

# Came to nothing at all, my love

# When I woke up to find

# You were no longer mine

# All my love

# Thrown away after all this time

# Now there's no place for me

# In the future you see

# I don't understand you

# I've done all I can do

# Tell me how could I give you more,

more than all my love?

Is it the Valium helping her to sleep?

Rest is the best thing, in this phase of a nervous breakdown.

A nervous breakdown? Seems like...

such a big thing for her to have.

It's an overwhelming thing.

But we will look after her and it will pass.

I was afraid I would lose her.

I started to think she was already lost.

I've no don't doubt she thought the same.

But Lucille is still inside Lucille.

And we will bring her out again.

Lil! How was it? It was quick.

It might not be so bad,

even if I do have to go every few days for a bit.

Oh, it feels like I've got sunburn.

That may become a little more intense, over time.

Sit down and rest.

She'll need a bottle. All in hand!

Oh and guess what.

I took her to the clinic. She's put on five ounces!

You took her to the clinic for the first time, without me?

Yeah, I...

I thought I might as well get into the swing of things?

You'd think I was dead already!

You're getting up?

I've made an appointment to get my hair done.

I'm determined to go,

even if I have to come straight back to bed.

Good girl.

Because one way or another,

you're going to be wanting to look your best.

A ticket to Jamaica?!

An open return. For you.

I can't go because I can't leave my job.

But you have sick leave,

so I took the money out of our savings.

We're saving to buy a house! We'll have a house one day.

For now, you must go home.

Before you ask,

I'm not going anywhere nice but I just want to look...

better.

Better enough so people stop treating me

like I'm on my way out!

Lilian - I know my chances aren't good.

But, just for now, I'm not gonna ask you any more about them.

Lilian, I am so sorry if we were over-stepping the mark.

We only...meant to help.

Look at me. That was me.

I gave it all up to be a mother.

And I was glad to!

But cancer has taken more than that.

And it's not gonna stop until it's taken everything!

I understand. You don't!

How could you possibly understand?

You threw away everything that made you a woman,

you didn't want it: covered it up.

You denied it.

And what I can't deny is how much I have hurt you.

I can only beg for your forgiveness.

You look like a woman in great want of a galvanising beverage.

I hid a Swiss roll at the back of the larder.

Lilian's needs are very complex, Sister.

You mustn't exhaust yourself trying to care for her.

It's never a burden to love or give. I know that.

That doesn't mean it isn't tiring.

And it doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes.

No, to the left a bit...

A bit more...

That's it.

Agh! Now it's listing!

It's definitely listing to one side.

I think it needs a little more ballast at the base.

Then you will have to get that organised.

It is clearly unsafe.

In fact, it is the most perilous erection I've ever seen!

Oh! I, I've done everything I can think of.

She, she won't feed!

She doesn't need a fresh nappy! And er...

Lilian, she won't come out the bedroom.

Lilian.

Your baby needs you.

She was calling for you. For her mother.

And only her mother will do.

I said terrible things to you.

I, I don't wish I'd led a different life.

But your body - your brave, enduring body...

has done unimaginable things.

And it's doing things now that I can only wonder at.

You do things that I can only wonder at.

Thank you for helping me.

There was a stain on the skirt of the top one,

but I managed to get it out in a boil wash.

I couldn't bear to put it away

unless it was completely pristine.

And why doesn't that surprise me?

They'll be here waiting for you when you come home.

When I come home from going home?

Maybe it is that much of a puzzle.

For now, no one's making you choose.

I don't think I could choose anything just now.

Dr Turner prescribed change, Cyril bought the ticket,

Sister Julienne gave me the time off.

I feel...like a parcel, being posted somewhere.

You could choose to give in to it.

Choose to be loved, even.

Loved?

Choose to let the sun shine down on you.

If it does turn nippy, there's always this...

You finished it? Oh, Phyllis!

Well, it's hardly a present. You paid for the wool!

Now off you pop. And finish your packing.

# #

Congratulations madame! Now this...

Thank you Maestro!

And for our next number...

we have...

31.

Next ticket, please!

And the final number is...

56, 56.

I have the ticket.

Come and collect your prize, Sister Monica Joan.

It's time to say your goodbyes, Lucille.

I don't want to.

I want to go but I don't want to leave.

Or watch them waving.

We can slip away, just the two of us.

Like we're going on a date?

Like we're going on our first date.

Cyril, where'd you get that from?

Let's just say someone owed me a favour. Come on.

The sooner you get to Jamaica,

the sooner you'll be coming back!

Just when I've had my hair done.

I love you, Nurse Robinson.

I'll fetch your bags.

Nothing is written and no dream has a duty to come true.

Their power is to show us where the heart's desire lies.

And what beauty really is.

A touch, a glance, a glimpse into the future.

Lay these moments down like treasure,

for when today becomes the past,

we are forever what we hope for and what we must let go.

Mrs Mackay? Talbot. Not Mackay.

We do everything together.

I shall soon be giving Fanny Cradock

quite a run for her money.

I meant to give it to you earlier.

I could go weeks not knowing

where the next meal was coming from.

The ambulance has arrived. Please get my mum!

You were the one forcing me to talk about this.

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