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Oh, I just want to thank the three of you
2
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for inviting me to be part of your ladies' night.
3
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- I love being one of the gals. - Whoo!
4
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You do realize it was you who invited us out, right?
5
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Yes, but nevertheless, this duck is fantastic.
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Here. Have a bite.
7
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Ah.
8
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Oh. Would you like some of my duck in your mouth?
9
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How's your asparagus?
10
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I told the chef to make sure it was especially crispy, just for you.
11
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Oh, thank you. It's, um, mmm. It's good.
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Good.
13
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Oh, wow. That waiter so wants to do you.
14
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I know. Hello, Mr. Obvious.
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Even I sensed the spark.
16
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There was no spark. Trust me.
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You know, you really should have flirted back. It's time.
18
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You've been in a prison for ten years.
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A lovely prison with five beautiful children.
20
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Yes, but now you're free, and there are a lot of things
21
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you could be doing with that freedom, Kat, so go for it.
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That's what I say.
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- Oh, really? Uh, well, would you like some crispy asparagus? - Oh!
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You know, this... this is what I'm talking about.
25
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Sharing our feelings, food fights,
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tickle fights.
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I just love celebrating with you ladies.
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Tickle fights?
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Drink some more wine.
30
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Oh, my god.
31
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Oh, is that your photographer friend?
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- Should we invite him over? - No, we can't.
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- Why not? - Because I ripped his heart out and punched it in the face
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that I could rediscover the Kentucky cartwheel With my ex.
35
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Well, I'm sure you apologized.
36
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Yeah, like every day for the last two weeks.
37
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And he's still mad?
38
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Uh, hi, Will.
39
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It's great to see you. Are those new glasses?
40
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Yeah, still mad.
41
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Are you aware of how wonderful
42
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Joanna Frankel is, not to mention smart and sweet
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and a gift to any guy lucky enough to get her?
44
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Do you have any idea what she did to me?
45
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She got confused and she made a mistake.
46
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Haven't you ever made a mistake before?
47
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All this woman does is talk about how awesome and wonderful
48
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and good-looking you are, and I have to say,
49
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right now I am not seeing it...
50
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Well, the awesome and wonderful part anyway.
51
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You do have nice hair.
52
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You're a good friend.
53
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And you're acting like a moron.
54
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Smarten up and be nice to Joanna.
55
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- You did not just do that. - Nobody puts Joanna in a corner.
56
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Ah. Well, here's to liquid courage.
57
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- And the Kentucky cartwheel. - Mm-hmm.
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I am so glad to see
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you're having such a good time, Miss Frankel.
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- Mrs. Dunn. - You've ruined my husband
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and humiliated my family with your so-called journalism.
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My children don't have a father anymore because of you. Did you know that?
63
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Oh, yes. Where is Pastor Dunn these days?
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He disappeared after that hatchet job was published.
65
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Oh. You destroyed a good and decent man with your allegations.
66
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- I hope you're satisfied. - "Good and decent"... that's a bit of a stretch.
67
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I mean, after all, there was that whole... hooker thing.
68
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Settle down, Elise. All Joanna did was report the truth.
69
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The day I take etiquette lessons from you is the day
70
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we're all roasting in hell, Roxie Torcoletti.
71
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Running around with a boy young enough to date your daughter?
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And you... you had a beautiful family,
73
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and you've thrown it away to philander about town
74
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- with these two and him? - Who philanders? I don't philander.
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You all make me sick. You make everyone sick.
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You're a disgrace to the entire community.
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Run out of my own restaurant by a supercilious mob...
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which brings me to the reason I invited you ladies out in the first place.
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I thought you wanted to be one of the girls.
80
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Did you know what according to ancient legend,
81
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the land that Eastwick occupies is sacred?
82
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It's a vortex of supernatural power and energy.
83
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There's an old myth which states
84
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that once a century, this vortex is disturbed
85
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by a strange phenomenon where the moon seems to grow
86
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to three times its normal size,
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scrambling the brains
88
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of everyone who lives on this sacred ground
89
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and driving us into a frenzy of orgiastic bliss.
90
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Now the pilgrims called this the wild moon.
91
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And this concludes story time with uncle bad touch.
92
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Well, except it's real,
93
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and it's happening tomorrow night.
94
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Yeah, right.
95
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You know, modern astronomers call this the 93rd return.
96
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Every 93 years, the full moon, in perigee...
97
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and that... that's that point of its orbit
98
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which is nearest the earth... It aligns perfectly
99
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with all the planets in the solar system.
100
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It's an extremely rare celestial event. It's happening.
101
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Tomorrow evening, the inner animals of our citizenry
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will be released.
103
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- Released how? - I don't know.
104
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- We'll just have to wait and see. - Well, I, for one, almost wish it were true.
105
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This town sure could use a good wild moon.
106
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Mm-hmm. Anything to pull the giant stick out of its ass.
107
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Am I the only one who's sick of being watched and judged?
108
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Well, perhaps I might propose a toast.
109
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To the 93rd return...
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May it unleash the inner hedonist
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lurking in the good people of Eastwick.
112
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Luna solvo...
113
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That's latin for "the moon releases."
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Luna solvo.
115
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- All right, you ready? This one's tough. - Lay it on me.
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Okay, who would you do?
117
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Mrs. Samuelson from Calculus or Mrs. Talbot from English?
118
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No brainer. Mrs. Samuelson.
119
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She seems like she'd be a generous lover.
120
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And Mrs. Talbot's got man hands.
121
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Ew, gross.
122
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I know what I like in a girl.
123
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Is that a poster of a dragon on your wall?
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What?
125
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No!
126
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That's a poster for... a team.
127
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I play sports.
128
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Uh, you know, I should go.
129
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- The momster's gonna be home any minute now. - She still giving you a hard time?
130
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Yes. It is so annoying. I mean, she wants to know
131
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every little detail about any guy that I'm involved with.
132
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That's silly. I mean...
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It's not like we're involved or anything... Right?
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I'm home.
135
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How was dinner?
136
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Fine. The Pastor's wife yelled at us and called us whores.
137
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Who was that on the computer?
138
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Was it a boy? Was it a friend? Was it a boyfriend?
139
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It was a guy from school. We're in the same class.
140
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What class? What's his name?
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Mom, stop.
142
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Look, you don't get to know about every guy I have a conversation with.
143
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Well, actually, I do,
144
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because the last time you snuck around with a guy,
145
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You almost got assaulted.
146
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Yeah, and you know what? I've been trying to move past it,
147
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but it's a little hard with you constantly in my face.
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Excuse me, young lady?
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You are not allowed to "young lady" me.
150
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For 15 years, you've been trying to be my pal.
151
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You can't just turn around and be my mom.
152
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I will "young lady" you all I want, young lady.
153
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And believe me, I am your mom. I have the stretch marks to prove it.
154
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You know, if you're not gonna trust me anyway,
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maybe I should give you a reason not to.
156
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Do you want me to ground you?
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You wouldn't know how!
158
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Oh, yeah? Watch this. You're grounded! Ha ha!
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- Told you I could do it! - Ugh!
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Joanna Frankel! How's my star reporter?
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Listen, tomorrow's edition is looking a little thin.
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You have anything we can run with?
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Actually, I was just about to break something wide open.
164
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Ooh, sounds yummy. What do you got?
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Well, I have it from a very reliable source
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That John Wilburn was drinking for free
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at the Greasy Stool last night.
168
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Ah... And?
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And John Wilburn is the head of the zoning board.
170
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Clyde, everyone knows that the Stool has been lobbying for
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expanded zoning so that they could add to their parking lot.
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It's a bribery scandal.
173
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- What do you think? - Yeah,no.
174
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When I hear "lobbying" and "zoning," I nod off.
175
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- This is a big story, Clyde. - It's not "Pastor and hookers" big.
176
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I need you to dig up some more stuff like that.
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People really loved that.
178
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Those kind of stories don't come along every day.
179
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You know the old saying...
180
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that "you're only as good as yesterday's headline" ?
181
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It's a clich because it's true.
182
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Joanna, are you my ace or are you a fluke?
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Because if you are my ace, I need a big, fat, juicy story
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on my desk for the morning edition.
185
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If you're a fluke...
186
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Well, Eastwick's oldest cat just had a birthday.
187
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Somebody has to write about it.
188
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- What am I gonna do? - Aw, you mean about your hair?
189
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What's wrong with my hair?
190
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Nothing. No. I like... it's great.
191
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I-i love... the s-shape.
192
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If I don't come up with a story asap...
193
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Ugh, don't say "asap."
194
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I am going to go back to covering animal birthday parties.
195
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Uh, you've been sitting on A pretty frickin' fantastic story for, oh...
196
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Ever. I mean, it's right there under your ass, waiting to be told.
197
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:12,520
What, the Darryl thing? That's not a story.
198
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,210
That's just a bunch of unformed theories and conjecture.
199
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And whatever evidence I did have was stolen from my apartment.
200
00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:19,470
- I've got nothing. - That's not true.
201
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My secret source has left tons of leads on my doorstep.
202
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,010
I mean, you haven't even contacted
203
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:26,470
that Dominic savage guy from New York.
204
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Oh, I've been meaning to.
205
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Okay.
206
00:09:30,510 --> 00:09:32,560
- Why don't you just admit it? - What?
207
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You're dropping the Darryl story because you like him.
208
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You hang out with him. He's your friend,
209
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He's your pal, he's your drinking buddy.
210
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And you don't want to publish a story that says
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that he's a liar and an identity stealer.
212
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And someone who faked his own death.
213
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That is not true. I have been really busy with other stuff.
214
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- Like hanging out with Darryl Van Horne. - And yoga!
215
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I'm working on the story, Penny.
216
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Cool. So call Dominic savage.
217
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Find out what he knows about Darryl.
218
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And let's bring the bastard down.
219
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:22,570
Hey.
220
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,510
Thought we could go to your place for slunch,
221
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which is my new word for sex plus lunch.
222
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:30,370
Oh, reading the daughter's diary...
223
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Nice. anything good in there? Anything bad?
224
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,480
What's the matter? She talked about bands you don't recognize?
225
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- Because I can help with that. - I'm worried about her.
226
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So crack it open, then. You're a mom.
227
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,780
I guess you're supposed to snoop around.
228
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:44,740
Are you nuts? I... I'm not going to open my daughter's diary.
229
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That would be wrong... totally and completely wrong.
230
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Right. So then, why are you sitting here staring at it?
231
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Just forget you saw me do this. Come on, slunch time.
232
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We'll go to my house, have pants-less pb&js.
233
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I don't want peanut butter and jelly.
234
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I want to know why you're acting so freaky.
235
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You don't want to know, trust me.
236
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I do want to know, trust me.
237
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Fine.
238
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Okay.
239
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:14,060
The reason that I'm staring at this diary is that...
240
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that there's a slight chance that I might have
241
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The teeniest, tiniest amount...
242
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of psychic ability.
243
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Basically, I... I get these visions sometimes...
244
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flashes that pop into my head.
245
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I'm... I'm trying to read Mia's diary
246
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without actually reading it.
247
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,080
Okay, great. Do you want creamy or crunchy peanut butter?
248
00:11:36,150 --> 00:11:37,420
Uh, Roxie, wait.
249
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I believe you.
250
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,130
Really?
251
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Don't screw with me here.
252
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,220
The mind is a mystery.
253
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,170
I had an uncle who always had to go to the John when it was about to rain.
254
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:54,200
Not sure it's the same thing, but thank you.
255
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,920
It's sweet of you to believe in me. I mean that.
256
00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:59,670
- So how does it work? - Things just come to me...
257
00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:01,780
Mostly when I'm asleep, sometimes when I'm awake.
258
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:03,310
I think I can help you.
259
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,710
I've read a ton of books on people with strange powers.
260
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:09,870
- What kind of books? - Sequential art books. - You mean comic books?
261
00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,300
Graphic novels.
262
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:15,370
But hear me out. Your problem is control.
263
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,250
And I think that with enough practice and discipline
264
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:19,920
that we can harness your ability.
265
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,500
I can be your professor x and train you.
266
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,370
- What do you think? - I have no idea who professor x is.
267
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:27,790
How about yoda?
268
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:29,410
Let me be your yoda.
269
00:12:30,030 --> 00:12:31,480
It'll take your mind off of Mia.
270
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:34,010
All right, yoda.
271
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,000
Oh, that breaks my heart.
272
00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:46,590
I hate seeing pretty people eat alone.
273
00:12:46,650 --> 00:12:49,700
I'm alone on purpose, Darryl. It's on my bucket list.
274
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,120
Bucket list... isn't that for those about to die?
275
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:54,010
This bucket list is for those about to rock.
276
00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:57,300
Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about that waiter.
277
00:12:57,420 --> 00:13:03,250
- Aha. And what did you do then? - Nothing. But I did realize that you're right.
278
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:06,700
I'm single again. I should flirt back when flirted upon.
279
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:10,220
- Absolutely. - Problem is, I never really learned how to flirt because
280
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,080
I married the fourth guy who flirted with me.
281
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:14,740
And if I don't know how to flirt, how will I ever get that spark?
282
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:16,550
And not only that, all of my clothes are covered
283
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,330
with chocolate, mustard and blood, and... - Dear god, why?
284
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,990
Because I'm a mom, and for a lot of years
285
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:25,490
I let that define me. And don't get me wrong,
286
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:27,970
I love it, but there's all this single woman stuff
287
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:29,810
that I never got the chance to do.
288
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,210
There's got to be room for both, right?
289
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:36,380
- So... Started making my list. - May I?
290
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,220
O-okay.
291
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,950
"Bake my own crackers.
292
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,250
- Learn a foreign language." - Oui.
293
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,800
- "read 'the time traveler's wife' ". - What do you think?
294
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:50,960
I think you should take this list and burn it.
295
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,620
- What is wrong with my list? - "Run a 5k for charity"?
296
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:58,610
This is not a bucket list, this is a suck-it list.
297
00:13:58,710 --> 00:13:59,920
Look, whatever happened to
298
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:03,330
"go to a nude beach" or "leap out of an airplane"
299
00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:06,140
- or "make love to a wealthy industrialist"? - You mean you?
300
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:10,320
Or any wealthy industrialist. I mean, look at number four...
301
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,110
"Fabulous baker boys"? Come on.
302
00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:15,890
Any unmarried woman can rent a DVD.
303
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:18,240
Unless...
304
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,590
Oh, my god. Are you Amish?
305
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,400
It's not about the movie.
306
00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:27,230
I... I have always wanted to be
307
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,240
- a sexy lounge singer like Michelle Pfeiffer. - Mm.
308
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,630
Except I never had the guts to sing
309
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:33,850
in front of another human being.
310
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:38,350
It just... it just seems so naked... Yet freeing.
311
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,600
I like it. This I like.
312
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,230
This is list-worthy. Come on.
313
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:48,970
We will get you naked and free.
314
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,190
Oh, hey, you play the piano.
315
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,410
Play? Are you listening?
316
00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:59,550
I am making sweet love to this bad boy.
317
00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:01,900
Okay, maybe you shouldn't make sweet love to it right here.
318
00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:03,880
The owners might not approve.
319
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,660
Well, fortunately, I am the owner.
320
00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:09,670
Now, come on.
321
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:12,880
- Belt something out for us. - Darryl, I haven't sang in ages.
322
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:16,460
Don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear.
323
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:17,850
Just sing.
324
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:19,870
- Sing a song. - No, you know what?
325
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,320
- Now... now is just really not a good time. - Now is the perfect time.
326
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,100
Half the people in here can't even hear.
327
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,820
Right. But no, thanks.
328
00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:30,280
- But your list? - Well, it's... it's off my list. You see? Gone.
329
00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:32,460
Uh-huh.
330
00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:36,930
Well,I have to say I am truly disappointed.
331
00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:38,400
Well...
332
00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:41,000
Then make your own list, okay?
333
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:48,540
Whew. Really have my work cut out with that one.
334
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,430
All right. Which card am I holding?
335
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:54,780
Hmm...
336
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:56,110
6 of diamonds?
337
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,990
No. Try again.
338
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,620
Hmm, 7 of diamonds.
339
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:01,470
8 of diamonds!
340
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:04,000
- You can't just guess them in order. - Sorry.
341
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:06,190
Now concentrate. Be the card.
342
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,550
And the next thing I know, wham! She grounds me.
343
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,080
That blows. Weekends are for raging.
344
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:16,010
- Oh, and that's what you're gonna do? - Hells, yes! Gonna go play backgammon with the moms,
345
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,100
- maybe buy some new school pants, it's gonna be crazy. - Sounds out of control.
346
00:16:22,630 --> 00:16:23,660
So...
347
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:25,910
Even though you're grounded,
348
00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:29,510
- uh,are you still allowed to have visitors? - Mia,hey!
349
00:16:30,950 --> 00:16:32,960
Uh, you know what? I left my...
350
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:35,230
calculus book in my locker. Have a good weekend.
351
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:36,530
Yeah. See ya.
352
00:16:36,890 --> 00:16:40,800
- Hey, was, uh, that Josh Burton? - Why would you talk to him?
353
00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:42,990
- I was just borrowing his notes on the Spanish inquisition. - Oh.
354
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,480
Hmm. Cool.
355
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:51,750
Come on. You can do it. Just relax and focus.
356
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,320
- How can I relax? I'm a crappy mom. - You are not a crappy mom.
357
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:57,170
I just didn't want to be like my mother, you know?
358
00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,960
She raised me like a veal. I thought I'd be different.
359
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:03,600
Give Mia her freedom. And then I called her "young lady."
360
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,300
I am totally my mother. And where is Mia, anyway?
361
00:17:07,370 --> 00:17:09,560
She should've been at home by now, being grounded.
362
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,180
Luna Solvo.
363
00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:15,870
What's that?
364
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:18,190
Darryl was right. That moon...
365
00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:21,650
Wow. It's like...
366
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,550
Three times bigger than normal.
367
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,110
Darryl said it would unleash us.
368
00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:30,300
Mia, where are you?
369
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,890
You were supposed to be home ten minutes ago.
370
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,310
You're grounded. You know that.
371
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:35,570
Well, I don't care what you feel like, young lady.
372
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,540
You are marching your butt home right this instant...
373
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,560
She hung up on me. Oh, that is it!
374
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,320
What are you doing?
375
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,810
She's gonna do something stupid just to piss me off.
376
00:17:47,930 --> 00:17:51,390
- I gotta go find her and bring her home. - Okay. This was a bust, anyway.
377
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:54,030
- 3 of clubs. - No way. You peeked.
378
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:56,020
Jack of diamonds.
379
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,200
2 of diamonds. Queen of clubs.
380
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,450
7 of spades.
381
00:18:01,570 --> 00:18:02,210
Ace of hearts.
382
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,220
Roxie...
383
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:08,520
I think you're officially unleashed.
384
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,360
So guess what?
385
00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:16,220
Dominic savage totally spilled his guts.
386
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:17,300
Nice!
387
00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:20,740
Turns out, Darryl really is a bad guy.
388
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,710
Am I supposed to act surprised?
389
00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:25,480
Savage was Darryl's right-hand man in new York for ten years.
390
00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:28,500
He claims that Darryl is guilty of insider trading
391
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:29,720
and all kinds of corporate crimes.
392
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,300
I mean, he doesn't have documentation, but he says that
393
00:18:32,390 --> 00:18:36,130
he personally witnessed several incidences of wrongdoing,
394
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,380
and he says that I can quote him anonymously.
395
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,120
That's... totally... unhelpful.
396
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,100
Ya think?!
397
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:47,130
I'm so screwed! I have no story.
398
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,720
- Horoscopes, here I come. - You're not gonna write the horoscopes. Chill.
399
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,560
Obituaries, maybe.
400
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,110
I have until 1:00 a.m.
401
00:18:57,190 --> 00:19:00,500
To pull the world's most awesomest story out of my ass!
402
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,900
How am I gonna do that?
403
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,040
Look at the moon.
404
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,870
The 93rd return. Huh?
405
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,290
Penny, we're in a crisis.
406
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,520
I've got my back against the wall.
407
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:19,310
There's only one thing to do.
408
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:20,800
What's that?
409
00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:23,970
We need to party.
410
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,140
I can't believe I never tried this before.
411
00:19:55,230 --> 00:19:57,560
It's so warm and lovely.
412
00:19:57,710 --> 00:19:59,890
- Photocopy of Joanna's ass? - Thank you.
413
00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:02,440
Ooh! Great ass, Joanna.
414
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,420
Thanks, Edgar. How sweet is he?
415
00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:07,470
Right? I'm so glad you're not stressed out anymore.
416
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,200
- Your forehead was getting all squinch - Yeah.
417
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,760
But you know what I decided? Screw Darryl Van Horne.
418
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:14,950
You're gonna screw Darryl Van Horne?
419
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,390
Good. That'll get him to talk.
420
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,630
No, seriously.
421
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,790
Screw Darryl Van Horne.
422
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:25,500
I'm Clyde's ace, and I've got my story.
423
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,430
Well, I thought you said all you had were unanswered questions.
424
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,220
No, Penny. The questions are the story.
425
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:32,410
Is darryl van horne really Sebastian hart?
426
00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:34,700
Did he steal baby van horne's identity?
427
00:20:34,830 --> 00:20:38,130
Is he a corporate criminal? I'm gonna run with that!
428
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,540
See how good he is at dodging the questions
429
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,480
when the whole town is asking them.
430
00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:50,650
Excuse me. I'm looking for my daughter Mia.
431
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:52,890
She's about yea high, cute blond hair
432
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,660
adorable eyes, super sweet face.
433
00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:55,780
No.
434
00:20:57,710 --> 00:20:59,740
Why would she know Mia?
435
00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:02,000
You gotta find someone her age...
436
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,140
Like him.
437
00:21:04,140 --> 00:21:06,550
- Excuse me? You go to Eastwick high, right? - Yep.
438
00:21:06,550 --> 00:21:10,740
- Have you seen Mia Torcoletti around? - Nope.
439
00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:21,140
You better get home, man. Your mom just found your stash.
440
00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:23,760
How did you do that?
441
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:28,000
- I don't know. It just happened. - You gotta do that again.
442
00:21:28,780 --> 00:21:31,880
Your keys are under the sofa.
443
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,310
You're welcome!
444
00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:37,940
I'm sorry, honey, but he's gay.
445
00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:41,840
That was amazing.
446
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,380
Darryl was wrong.
447
00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:47,210
The moon doesn't make you crazy. It makes you powerful.
448
00:21:47,210 --> 00:21:50,610
And insanely horny.
449
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:43,380
Luna Solvo, my old friend.
450
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:45,380
Luna Solvo.
451
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:05,510
Well...
452
00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:08,150
I'm afraid now I'm the one dining alone.
453
00:23:08,150 --> 00:23:10,250
Would you care to join me?
454
00:23:10,250 --> 00:23:13,250
I didn't come here to eat.
455
00:23:30,030 --> 00:23:32,330
* In the cool of the evening *
456
00:23:32,650 --> 00:23:37,120
When everything is getting kinda groovy
457
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:41,150
* You call me up and ask me *
458
00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:45,210
* Would I like to go with you and see a movie? *
459
00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:50,080
* First, I say, "no" *
460
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,410
* I've got some plans for the night *
461
00:23:52,410 --> 00:23:54,410
* And then I stop *
462
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,000
* And say, "all right" *
463
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
* Love is kinda crazy *
464
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,050
* With a spooky little boy like you *
465
00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:11,230
- Wow. Did we just do that? - We did that.
466
00:24:11,230 --> 00:24:13,550
I can't believe we just did that. We shouldn't have done that.
467
00:24:13,550 --> 00:24:16,490
- Wanna do it again? - I do!
468
00:24:21,690 --> 00:24:24,860
- No, no, no, no, no, no! - What... what... what did you see?
469
00:24:24,860 --> 00:24:26,000
- Was it about me? - No.
470
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,890
- Damn, they're never about me - Get dressed. We have to go.
471
00:24:29,890 --> 00:24:32,730
Has everybody in this town lost their minds tonight?
472
00:24:32,730 --> 00:24:37,260
- This looks bad, doesn't it? - Looks like two counts of public indecency.
473
00:24:37,260 --> 00:24:41,030
All righty. Let's go.
474
00:24:41,030 --> 00:24:45,630
Please put your pants on first.
475
00:24:45,630 --> 00:24:47,630
* You always keep me guessing *
476
00:24:47,630 --> 00:24:51,690
* I never seem to know what you are thinking *
477
00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:56,320
* And if a girl looks at you *
478
00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:00,290
* It's for sure your little eye will go a winking *
479
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,650
* I get confused, I never know where I stand *
480
00:25:07,650 --> 00:25:10,320
* Then you smile *
481
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,790
* And hold my hand *
482
00:25:12,790 --> 00:25:15,350
* Love is kinda crazy *
483
00:25:15,350 --> 00:25:18,850
* With a spooky little boy like you *
484
00:25:21,750 --> 00:25:24,290
* If you decide someday to stop *
485
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:28,250
* This little game that you are playing *
486
00:25:31,290 --> 00:25:33,290
* Just like a ghost *
487
00:25:33,290 --> 00:25:35,850
* You've been a-haunting my dreams *
488
00:25:35,850 --> 00:25:37,820
* And now I know *
489
00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:40,490
* You're not what you seem *
490
00:25:40,490 --> 00:25:42,620
* Love is kinda crazy *
491
00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:46,320
* With a spooky little boy like you *
492
00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:54,650
* Spooky *
493
00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:01,550
Whoo!
494
00:26:11,740 --> 00:26:14,140
- Clyde! - Super busy right now.
495
00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:17,410
Okay, but you have to print this in tomorrow's paper. It's big!
496
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:20,670
It's as big as "pastors and hookers"! Help me save this town.
497
00:26:20,670 --> 00:26:24,870
- The people need to read this, Clyde. - Certainly are a lot of words here.
498
00:26:24,870 --> 00:26:27,040
Seems important.
499
00:26:28,770 --> 00:26:30,040
Barbara!
500
00:26:33,910 --> 00:26:35,670
Barbara!
501
00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:39,710
We've got to get this story to press...
502
00:26:39,710 --> 00:26:41,710
Front page!
503
00:26:41,710 --> 00:26:44,140
Done and done.
504
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,000
We did it! We got Darryl Van Horne!
505
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,400
- Oh, don't you mean Sebastian hart? - Whatever! I'm on the front page again!
506
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,830
- I'm so happy for you! - Thanks! I couldn't have done it without you!
507
00:26:56,830 --> 00:26:58,330
Oh!
508
00:27:09,330 --> 00:27:11,120
This is not cool, Roxie.
509
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:14,800
- I've never been in jail before. - Me, neither.
510
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,120
What kind of a mother
511
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,550
Stops looking for her daughter to have an alley quickie?
512
00:27:18,550 --> 00:27:20,270
I don't know what came over me.
513
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,530
Oh, my god! Mia!
514
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,700
What are you doing here?
515
00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:31,560
Vandalism. T.p.in the school with lover-boy here.
516
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,730
Uh, mrs. Torcoletti. Josh burton.
517
00:27:33,730 --> 00:27:36,400
- Chad's told me so much about you. - My baby brother.
518
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,500
Younger brother. Uh... We went through this, man.
519
00:27:39,500 --> 00:27:41,360
- You knew about this? - No idea.
520
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,500
I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.
521
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:47,530
- I've been trying to get chad to have you over for dinner. - Younger brother?
522
00:27:47,530 --> 00:27:50,760
- And a friend of mia's. - Yeah, I can see her friendship smeared all over your face.
523
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,310
Okay, first of all, you were grounded.
524
00:27:52,310 --> 00:27:55,260
- Secondly, why didn't you tell me about this? - Cause there's nothing to tell.
525
00:27:55,260 --> 00:27:55,800
Nothing to tell?!
526
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,000
He's wearing more of your lipstick than you are!
527
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,730
- Did you think I'd freak out bcause it's chad's brother? - It is kinda weird.
528
00:28:01,730 --> 00:28:04,460
- Look, it's not like that. - It's not?
529
00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:06,330
Look, what did I tell you about sneaking around? Great. Here it goes. "sneaking around."
530
00:28:06,330 --> 00:28:09,430
I'm sorry I want to actually get to know my daughr. Where? This town is tiny!
531
00:28:09,430 --> 00:28:11,760
- I ask you about your life. - You're jumping down my throat... I can't even breathe without you investigating it.
532
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,660
Threatening me, lying to me. And then I have to feel like... You know what? It doesn't matter because...
533
00:28:13,660 --> 00:28:15,260
-I'm letting you down. - I'm... - You don't believe me anyway. - I'm just...
534
00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,800
Sick of it! And now you're in jail!
535
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,060
Well, you're in jail, too.
536
00:28:19,060 --> 00:28:21,230
What'd you do, anyways?
537
00:28:21,230 --> 00:28:24,560
Look, this isn't about me. This is about you...
538
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,560
Doing god knows what with god knows who
539
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,830
And lying to me about it! Look, I know it's been rough,
540
00:28:28,830 --> 00:28:30,600
Mia, but you've never been a liar, and I'm not
541
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,100
- Gonna let you start now. - God! I am not lying!
542
00:28:33,100 --> 00:28:35,630
There's nothing to lie about. I'm not running around.
543
00:28:35,630 --> 00:28:37,000
I'm not doing drugs or having sex.
544
00:28:37,030 --> 00:28:40,230
- I'm not dating Josh. He's my friend. - Then why not tell me about him?
545
00:28:40,230 --> 00:28:42,230
Because I'm not telling anyone!
546
00:28:42,230 --> 00:28:44,000
If people knew that I was friends with Josh,
547
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,000
it would destroy any kind of reputation I have.
548
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,660
Look, I didn't tell you 'cause I was embarrassed!
549
00:29:03,100 --> 00:29:05,600
You have something to do with this?
550
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,060
What? No. No, it was the candles.
551
00:29:08,060 --> 00:29:10,730
- The candles did it. - I know. I was kidding.
552
00:29:10,730 --> 00:29:14,300
Oh. Yeah, no. Well, me, too.
553
00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,900
You, uh, have a scratch on your arm.
554
00:29:17,900 --> 00:29:20,830
Oh, yeah, it's nothing. I fell off a piano.
555
00:29:20,830 --> 00:29:22,800
I blame the moon.
556
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,660
Well, that and my total lack of coordination.
557
00:29:25,660 --> 00:29:27,530
Let me clean it up for you.
558
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,930
Whoa. Sorry.
559
00:29:32,930 --> 00:29:36,130
- Um, you don't have to do that... - that's all right.
560
00:29:36,130 --> 00:29:38,900
It's what volunteer firefighters are for.
561
00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:43,230
So would it be weird
562
00:29:43,230 --> 00:29:47,930
if I told you that you look amazing in that dress?
563
00:29:47,930 --> 00:29:50,900
Yes, so you probably shouldn't.
564
00:29:50,900 --> 00:29:54,360
I'm sorry.
565
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,460
It's just that you're Joanna's...
566
00:29:57,460 --> 00:29:59,340
And I'm her...
567
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:02,660
And you really shouldn't be paying me compliments,
568
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:05,500
even if they are innocent.
569
00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:07,830
It wasn't innocent.
570
00:30:07,830 --> 00:30:11,230
I should go... Um,
571
00:30:11,230 --> 00:30:13,230
before I do something that I want to do.
572
00:30:13,230 --> 00:30:17,900
- I mean, I don't want to do. - And what don't you want to do?
573
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,160
Good morning, sunshine.
574
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,330
Dare I even ask?
575
00:30:47,330 --> 00:30:51,060
Oh, yeah. I wore it to sing last night.
576
00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:54,500
Oh, man! I sang last night.
577
00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:56,340
Oh! In public!
578
00:30:56,340 --> 00:30:59,100
No way. Oh!
579
00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:02,440
How did it go? What you've get for it?
580
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,170
I mean, people seemed to be enjoying it...
581
00:31:04,170 --> 00:31:06,340
Until the restaurant burned down.
582
00:31:06,340 --> 00:31:08,100
That sounds insane!
583
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:10,740
Okay, who was there? Were there any guys there?
584
00:31:10,740 --> 00:31:13,000
I mean, come on. You were singing wearing this.
585
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:17,240
- You had to have met someone. Tell me there was a spark. - No!
586
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:22,040
No, no. No guys. No spark.
587
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,070
Oh. Well, finish waking up
588
00:31:24,070 --> 00:31:27,200
- And prepare to tell me all about it. - Okay.
589
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,100
I'm gonna go for a run.
590
00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:35,900
Oh, crap!
591
00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:39,300
What have I done?
592
00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:46,040
Hello? Are you insane?
593
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,540
Clyde, I...
594
00:31:49,870 --> 00:31:52,540
Yes, I've... I... I saw it.
595
00:31:52,540 --> 00:31:55,100
I... I know. I'm... this libelous garbage...
596
00:31:55,100 --> 00:32:00,070
- I'll be right down. - That you're sneaking into my newspaper?!
597
00:32:24,570 --> 00:32:27,000
Uh, hey, Joanna. About last night...
598
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,450
- We must have lost our minds. - Right? I mean, maybe we were roofied.
599
00:32:30,450 --> 00:32:32,230
- I think I was. Did you roofie me? - What?
600
00:32:32,260 --> 00:32:34,330
Doesn't matter. For the record, I like guys.
601
00:32:34,330 --> 00:32:37,330
In fact, there's one guy that I'm, like, really kind of into,
602
00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:40,330
- and he has a penis. - Penny whatever! Clyde gonna murder me.
603
00:32:40,330 --> 00:32:41,490
Clyde?
604
00:32:41,490 --> 00:32:44,390
Darryl Van Horne blew up about the story.
605
00:32:44,390 --> 00:32:46,390
Oh, right! The story.
606
00:32:46,390 --> 00:32:49,230
Well, good luck in there.
607
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,160
Of all the nerve, Joanna!
608
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,690
To not only write a piece of libelous garbage,
609
00:32:57,690 --> 00:33:02,390
but then to sneak it into my newspaper?
610
00:33:02,390 --> 00:33:04,690
Mr. Van Horne's newspaper?!
611
00:33:04,690 --> 00:33:07,560
Where do you get the stones, lady?
612
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:11,730
- Now thank goodness this man has the graciousness - Clyde!
613
00:33:11,730 --> 00:33:15,630
Please say no more. You are starting to turn my stomach.
614
00:33:15,630 --> 00:33:17,590
I apologize.
615
00:33:17,590 --> 00:33:19,090
Why, Joanna?
616
00:33:19,090 --> 00:33:21,760
Why would you do this to me?
617
00:33:26,790 --> 00:33:31,060
I realize that there are some... flaws with my article.
618
00:33:31,060 --> 00:33:32,560
- Some flaws? - Yes.
619
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,110
But the questions raised are valid.
620
00:33:35,110 --> 00:33:37,000
And this entire mess could've been avoided
621
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,500
if you'd chosen to simply answer them
622
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:42,300
on the multiple occasions I tried to interview you.
623
00:33:42,300 --> 00:33:44,030
Instead, you chose to dodge me.
624
00:33:44,030 --> 00:33:45,830
- Dodge you? - That's correct.
625
00:33:45,830 --> 00:33:47,860
I mean, either you're a very shy man,
626
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:49,690
which we both know is not true,
627
00:33:49,690 --> 00:33:54,630
or you are a person with something... to hide.
628
00:33:54,630 --> 00:33:59,030
All right. Let's do the interview right now,
629
00:33:59,030 --> 00:34:00,130
with witnesses.
630
00:34:02,890 --> 00:34:05,790
Okay.
631
00:34:05,790 --> 00:34:08,000
Where were you before 1984?
632
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
I was in Wiesbaden, west Germany,
633
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,430
where I was raised with my family.
634
00:34:11,700 --> 00:34:14,200
My father was an expatriate. My mother is German.
635
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:16,330
And what about the baby...Darryl Van Horne,
636
00:34:16,330 --> 00:34:19,530
who died in 1963? I have his death certificate.
637
00:34:19,530 --> 00:34:22,930
It's my father's brother's child... tragically stillborn.
638
00:34:22,930 --> 00:34:25,130
Very classy, Joanna. Very classy.
639
00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:28,160
You expect me to believe that you have a cousin
640
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,500
named Darryl Van Horne? All firstborn sons in my family are named Darryl.
641
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:34,500
It's a Van Horne tradition. Is that all right with you?
642
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:36,860
Yeah, good. Sounds up and up to this guy.
643
00:34:36,860 --> 00:34:39,200
Well, how do you explain a photo taken in 1984
644
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,530
of a man named "Sebastian Hart"?
645
00:34:42,530 --> 00:34:44,060
Sebastian who?
646
00:34:44,060 --> 00:34:46,560
A wealthy playboy who lived briefly in Eastwick
647
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,160
before he drowned in the bay, or supposedly drowned.
648
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,160
I saw his photo.
649
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,530
Sebastian Hart looked just... Like... You.
650
00:34:54,530 --> 00:34:57,900
Fa... Sci... Nating.
651
00:34:57,900 --> 00:35:00,860
- Can I see this photo? - I am no longer in possession of this photo
652
00:35:00,860 --> 00:35:02,900
because it was stolen from me,
653
00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:05,060
which is awfully convenient for you.
654
00:35:05,060 --> 00:35:07,160
Are you calling me a thief now?
655
00:35:09,060 --> 00:35:10,560
No, I am not.
656
00:35:10,670 --> 00:35:13,040
We had this photo on microfiche here and I looked for it,
657
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,040
but it is nowhere to be found.
658
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,400
We're a bit... disorganized here.
659
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,000
All right. I won't have you insult my microfiche, sister.
660
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,100
- Not in my house! - Shut up, Clyde!
661
00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:26,940
I don't really know what I can say
662
00:35:26,940 --> 00:35:29,370
about a photo that may or may not exist
663
00:35:29,370 --> 00:35:31,670
of a man who may or may not resemble me.
664
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,340
Without any hard evidence,
665
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:35,180
your answers are as flimsy as my theories.
666
00:35:35,180 --> 00:35:38,150
I mean, please. Germany? I don't hear a hint of an accent.
667
00:35:38,150 --> 00:35:42,350
Fidel...
668
00:35:43,350 --> 00:35:44,990
I was expecting this.
669
00:35:44,990 --> 00:35:46,580
You'll find everything in there...
670
00:35:46,580 --> 00:35:49,710
Birth certificate, passports, diplomas.
671
00:35:49,710 --> 00:35:51,000
What's this?
672
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,510
That is a cable bill.
673
00:35:53,510 --> 00:35:55,980
Is this your idea of reporting?
674
00:35:55,980 --> 00:35:57,210
You have trouble finding answers,
675
00:35:57,210 --> 00:36:00,850
so you just print half-baked theories?
676
00:36:00,850 --> 00:36:02,050
Or maybe...
677
00:36:02,150 --> 00:36:04,810
Maybe I'm the fool.
678
00:36:04,810 --> 00:36:08,350
I actually encouraged you. I supported you.
679
00:36:08,350 --> 00:36:12,080
Well, I don't know what to say, Mr.Van Horne.
680
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,480
I'm... I'm sorry.
681
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,510
I hope that you can forgive me.
682
00:36:16,510 --> 00:36:22,450
Well... Now you know why I dislike the press.
683
00:36:22,450 --> 00:36:24,150
Congratulations, Joanna.
684
00:36:24,150 --> 00:36:27,710
You are now a true... journalist.
685
00:36:31,810 --> 00:36:34,350
Thank you, Mr.Van Horne. Appreciate your time.
686
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,780
I'll get started on an apology and a retraction.
687
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:41,980
I can have it ready for tomorrow's paper.
688
00:36:41,980 --> 00:36:43,000
Ah, don't bother.
689
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,280
I'm having somebody else write the retraction.
690
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:49,980
You can clean out your desk. You're fired, Joanna.
691
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,850
Morning.
692
00:37:01,850 --> 00:37:04,000
Making chocolate chip pancakes in the shape of care bears.
693
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,210
- Your favorite. - When I was 5.
694
00:37:06,210 --> 00:37:09,580
Mia, it's a peace offering. Please.
695
00:37:09,580 --> 00:37:11,480
I wanted to talk.
696
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,480
I knew this was a bribe.
697
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:14,480
Mia, I owe you an apology.
698
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:15,480
I've been giving you mixed signals.
699
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,780
One week I'm telling you to be free, do whatever you want,
700
00:37:17,780 --> 00:37:19,540
and the next week I'm grounding you.
701
00:37:19,540 --> 00:37:21,980
It's a little inconsistent, so I'm sorry.
702
00:37:21,980 --> 00:37:26,910
It's okay. I'm sorry I've been yelling so much.
703
00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:28,000
I've been trying to figure it all out,
704
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,410
and here's what I think.
705
00:37:29,410 --> 00:37:31,780
I know I can't be the buddy you tell everything to,
706
00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:33,210
and I know neither of us wants me to be the mom
707
00:37:33,210 --> 00:37:35,780
who has to snoop and overreact. Definitely.
708
00:37:35,780 --> 00:37:38,180
So here's the deal. I'm gonna try to be a mom who trusts you
709
00:37:38,180 --> 00:37:40,990
- to be the intelligent girl I've always known. - Good.
710
00:37:40,990 --> 00:37:42,990
But I also need you to trust me and talk
711
00:37:42,990 --> 00:37:46,180
to me every once in a while and include me in your life.
712
00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:47,950
- Can we try that? - I can try it.
713
00:37:47,950 --> 00:37:51,450
Good. It's all I'm asking. Let's eat our care bears.
714
00:37:53,450 --> 00:37:56,680
- Mom, can I tell you something? - Only if you want...
715
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:00,180
I like Josh... A lot.
716
00:38:00,180 --> 00:38:02,950
I mean, he's cute and sweet
717
00:38:02,950 --> 00:38:04,880
and is really nice to me.
718
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:06,850
He cracks me up all the time,
719
00:38:06,850 --> 00:38:09,180
and he laughs at my jokes, too.
720
00:38:09,180 --> 00:38:12,210
But after everything I said in front of him last night,
721
00:38:12,210 --> 00:38:15,480
I don't think he's ever gonna wanna talk to me again.
722
00:38:17,350 --> 00:38:19,710
- I don't think it's hopeless. - Really?
723
00:38:19,710 --> 00:38:21,710
I know my burton boys.
724
00:38:21,710 --> 00:38:23,710
They're prideful, but they're pussycats.
725
00:38:23,710 --> 00:38:26,210
- We'll figure somethin' out. Hand me your cell phone. - Why?
726
00:38:26,210 --> 00:38:27,430
Because we're going to compose
727
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:31,650
a beautiful, sincere apology text. You think that'll work?
728
00:38:31,650 --> 00:38:32,990
It's a start. We'll get you two patched up,
729
00:38:32,990 --> 00:38:36,000
- and then maybe we can double date. - Ugh. I'm gonna barf.
730
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,350
I kid.
731
00:38:44,050 --> 00:38:47,050
Boy, you did some damage last night.
732
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,880
Darryl, I am so sorry about your restaurant.
733
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,550
My company made the stupid candles.
734
00:38:52,550 --> 00:38:55,410
And for the record, you were amazing.
735
00:38:55,410 --> 00:38:56,650
Thank you.
736
00:38:56,650 --> 00:38:59,180
So how does it feel, singing front of a packed house?
737
00:38:59,180 --> 00:39:03,010
Mmm, exhilarating, but I feel like crap today.
738
00:39:03,010 --> 00:39:05,550
Yeah, it seems like our little town
739
00:39:05,550 --> 00:39:07,710
is paying for last night's fun.
740
00:39:07,710 --> 00:39:10,250
That's one of the really perplexing things about life,
741
00:39:10,250 --> 00:39:12,710
though, isn't it?
742
00:39:12,710 --> 00:39:15,780
Any true pleasure comes with a price.
743
00:39:15,780 --> 00:39:18,610
We drink too much, we wake up hungover.
744
00:39:18,610 --> 00:39:21,410
We eat too much, we pack on the pounds.
745
00:39:21,410 --> 00:39:24,210
You enjoy one moment of lust,
746
00:39:24,210 --> 00:39:28,410
and you live a lifetime of guilt.
747
00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:31,680
Yeah. What feels good comes with a cost.
748
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,910
At the end of the day, I suppose it's just a matter
749
00:39:34,910 --> 00:39:38,080
of figuring out how much you are willing to pay.
750
00:39:40,380 --> 00:39:41,350
Oh, and by the way,
751
00:39:41,590 --> 00:39:43,000
you have a standing invitation to sing
752
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,520
at any one of my dining establishments.
753
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,850
* Love is kinda crazy *
754
00:39:47,850 --> 00:39:52,420
* With a spooky little girl like you *
755
00:39:52,420 --> 00:39:53,920
Spooky.
756
00:39:56,820 --> 00:39:58,820
Ah, practicing on your own.
757
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:01,820
I like a self-starter. Mmm.
758
00:40:02,820 --> 00:40:04,000
How's Mia?
759
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,210
Great, actually. I think we've got it
760
00:40:05,210 --> 00:40:06,560
pretty much worked out by now.
761
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:11,670
- She feels terrible about Josh, though. - Yeah, he's pretty crushed. I think he's got it bad for her.
762
00:40:11,670 --> 00:40:12,520
Well, don't tell him,
763
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,020
but I think she's got it bad for him, too.
764
00:40:15,020 --> 00:40:18,420
You torcolettis have an odd way of showing affection.
765
00:40:18,420 --> 00:40:20,990
How's this other stuff coming... the psychic stuff?
766
00:40:20,990 --> 00:40:23,520
Pretty much nonexistent. I haven't had one flash today.
767
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,120
I think whatever streak I was on is over.
768
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:27,770
Well, let's see.
769
00:40:27,780 --> 00:40:29,680
Nah, I'm not feeling it. I'm all ex-conny.
770
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,480
Now is the best time to do it, then. Discipline is all about
771
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:37,480
exercising when you don't want to. You gotta use it or lose it.
772
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,740
Yoda was never as annoying as you.
773
00:40:40,740 --> 00:40:43,510
Fine. One card.
774
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,910
O lord, our god, help us in our mourning
775
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:55,940
and teach us to live for the living
776
00:40:55,940 --> 00:40:58,000
in the time that is still left to us.
777
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,180
We thank you, god, for eternal life,
778
00:41:00,180 --> 00:41:02,000
which is the light and joy
779
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,540
of the days and years here on earth.
780
00:41:07,580 --> 00:41:09,480
Roxie, are you okay?
781
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,040
Did you see something?
782
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:12,540
Uh-huh.
783
00:41:12,540 --> 00:41:14,210
Yes! See? You still got it.
784
00:41:14,210 --> 00:41:17,540
What was it? Was it about me this time?
785
00:41:17,540 --> 00:41:20,640
I don't know.
786
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:23,540
I hope not.
61158
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