All language subtitles for the.christmas.charade.2024.1080p.webrip.x264

There you are.

I thought you'd changed your mind.

Oh, I couldn't let you leave without
opening your present, now could I?

Merry Christmas.

The naughty letter. Santa always
delivers.

Come with me.

You can't. You can.

All you have to do is choose us right
now.

Did you win this one?

It's now or never.

Okay, let's go.

Over here.

You ready?

Jumper, think clear.

So the reindeer and the arctic hare took
off down the hill.

Faster and faster they ran past the
towering pines to the frozen meadow

With a quick wave to the reindeer, the
arctic hare tucked in his cozy den where

he stayed safe inside forever.

The end.

All right. Have a wonderful Christmas
break, you guys.

And remember...

If you have Christmas trees at home, no
incandescent lights, okay?

They're a fire hazard.

Okay.

That's it for story time.

Go on outside and I'll meet you there,
okay?

You know, for a librarian, you sure do
slip in a lot of fire safety references.

Kids need repetition.

Anyway, tell me about the dress
shopping. Did you find the one?

No, not yet.

Kurt said he'd marry me in a paper bag,
but... I don't know, I just want

everything to be perfect.

Kurt's such a good guy.

Well, that's just more proof that online
dating actually works.

Sorry, but that's just how people meet
these days. It's a fact.

Okay, you want to tell the facts?

10 % of all users are straight -up
gamers.

Mary. And 53 % of them greatly
exaggerate their profile, so at best,

waiting for a huge letdown, and at
worst, like...

Well, your parents really did a number
on you. Oh, they prepared me.

You have no idea what working for a home
security company does with you two.

Well, how about meeting a friend of a
friend, then?

Lisa's cousin is newly single. She's
super nice, a dentist, very stable

His name is Mark, and he's open to
meeting you.

You know, doctor, my phone number has
people I don't know. Which is why I got

you his email, so you can reach out on
your super...

A cyber VPN thing or whatever.

Mark loves cats 1922.

At least he's honest.

Come on, Whit.

It's Christmas break. There's no school,
no summer camps to take care of, no

responsibilities.

I don't know.

Whit, at some point, you have to drop
the books, turn off the TV, and dive

a real adventure.

Don't check it out.

All right, grab your bag.

I like cats.

Hi, honey.

Hi. Oh,

that's good.

Okay, that's quite good. Nine is holding
up well.

Yeah, it doesn't stick.

Unlike the last one you installed.

Whoa, look at that.

cranberry orange mascaras. There's no
ginger bun cake?

I thought I would center out a little
bit. It looks delicious. Thank you.

Okay, this might sound crazy, but what
do you guys think about doing something

little different this year for
Christmas?

Like skiing.

I need to realize that skiing's the
second most dangerous.

Sport in the world, right? No, I think
that's wrong.

Snowboarding's worse.

Regardless, humans weren't meant to go
flying down a snowy mountainside at 30

miles an hour. 30 miles an hour, Dad.

None of us are that good. What's wrong
with game night?

Nothing. Nothing is wrong with game
night.

I love game night.

It's just we do it every month, and I
thought we could do something a little

more exciting.

It's Christmas -themed game night. It is
exciting.

And I've got some new charade prompts
that I think are quite hilarious.

Yeah, he's really stepped it up this
year.

Thank you.

Okay, Dad. Did you talk to Rachel about
the wedding?

Did she find a dress?

Uh, no.

But I'm sure she will.

So apparently we'll be sitting with the
Bernards. They have a son who's an

ophthalmologist.

Newly single.

Mom. Well, in case you're not bringing a
date.

I could totally meet someone.

Yeah, like Dr. Bernard, the
ophthalmologist.

Moldwine, anyone?

Yes.

Christmas spirit's coming on.

Good

afternoon,

everyone. I'd like to take a quick
moment to acknowledge the hard work

put in this year. I know we've logged a
lot of long hours lately.

So I hope you take the next few days to
spend it with your family and loved

ones.

Agent Dawson, just in time.

Care for a refreshment?

Uh, no, I'm good, thanks.

Here for the four o 'clock.

Right.

Anyway, cheers, and happy holidays.

Cheers!

You know it wouldn't

kill you to show up early, shake a few
hands. It's Christmas.

I don't really do Christmas.

We're small talk. Oh, we've noticed.

Anyway, glad you called me in because I
have an update on the Bateman file.

They have a new target, sir.

Agent Doc. This is a big one.

Josh, I'm shutting you down.

What? I'm sorry, it's time.

You've been undercover six months and
you have nothing linking the suspect to

any crime, let alone the disappearance
of six priceless artifacts.

Okay. So you're telling me that every
time Lou Bateman shows up at one of

fancy events and something goes missing,
that's just a coincidence?

It doesn't matter what I think.

It matters what... What I can prove, I
know.

Well, I'm going to prove it to you.

I'm already hearing chatter on the black
market about all this. Buyers are

sniffing around.

What is it?

They call it the heart of Christmas.

It's given to a German princess in the
early 1800s by the son of a wealthy

American industrialist.

It's supposed to be worth over $10
million.

Now, the owner is only bringing it out
once a year on Christmas Eve to raise

money for various charities around the
world. And this year, it is the

centerpiece at the mistletoe ball.

at the New York Arts and History Museum.

That's a big event, swanky. Guess who's
on the board?

Lou Bateman's wife, Patty.

It has taken me some time, but I finally
secured a lunch meeting with them

tomorrow to discuss a business
partnership.

If this goes well, it's going to put me
in close contact with him over the

holidays, and I will be able to figure
out his plan and how he's going to steal

it. I'm already catching heat for giving
you an opportunity to begin with. Sir,

you've got to trust me on this one.

Trust you.

The last time I trusted you, you
arrested a perp without approval.

That guy was going to get away. And you
upset every senior agent in the

building. You danced around protocol and
you alienated all your colleagues.

I work better alone. And you don't have
a single piece of concrete evidence.

Tell me why I shouldn't take you off
this case and send you to the stacks for

the rest of your career.

These criminals, they're smart.

They could sniff out one of your suits a
mile away.

And the fact that other cops don't like
me, that's what makes me good at this.

I can blend in where they can.

You know it, and I know it.

I just need it until Christmas Eve.

If I'm wrong about this, I'll pack up my
desk, and I'll move to the basement

myself.

Fine. But you better make a reservation
for tomorrow with debatements for four

people.

Why? I'm sending in Agent Keira Tanner
to join you. As your girlfriend.

She's new, but good.

you step out of line i want to know
about it sir don't push me dartha it's

either the girlfriend or the sax

i will call the record

i'm

so proud of you for biting the bullet so
how did you respond

Weird, cool... Too many exclamation
points?

Not enough exclamation points?

Short and sweet.

Something like, uh, sounds good,
villanici, one, I'll be wearing green

Okay, straightforward, kind.

Just lunch, so not too much pressure.
Love it.

Your sweater, on the other hand.

Oh, yeah.

What's wrong with it? It belongs in a
World War II museum.

Is that a knot?

Come on, loosen up a bit. Put your hair
down.

Hmm.

Ah.

How about this?

Oh, yeah, no, see, this is my party
shirt.

Well, now it's your date shirt.

Hey.

Thank you. That was very nice.

I'm just meeting someone here, actually.

Oh.

There he is.

Thank you.

Hi. You're late.

Oh, uh... Yeah, I guess I am.

Sorry. I always get lost coming off the
subway.

Did you read the file?

Uh... Your profile?

Yeah. No, but Rachel filled me in.

Rachel? I've never worked with her.

Oh, your cousin's friends or something.

Maybe I got that wrong.

Okay, great. I guess we're going to have
to go over it before they run.

Okay, tell me Kelly.

It's Whitney.

I'm pretty sure that it was Kelly, but
okay, fine.

Whitney, how do we meet?

Well, we're currently meeting.

Are you kidding me? You were supposed to
tell us the backstory.

What backstory?

I'm sorry, this isn't really my cup of
tea, Mark.

No, it's not. It's Mark.

It's John.

Okay, Johnny.

This is getting weird and, quite
frankly, confusing.

Do you even love Kat?

No.

Johnny? Pardon me.

Wait.

No.

Sit down. No.

Don't go.

Please.

There he is.

Johnny boy.

Hey. There he is. Hey.

He didn't tell us you were bringing a
date.

He didn't tell me a scripting either.

We must have got our wires crossed. Lou,
Patty, me, Whitney.

My girlfriend.

Oh. Sorry.

I'm here for Johnny party four.

Okay.

We'll be right back.

Actually, never mind.

Hey, wait.

You do not get to follow me.

You know.

Girlfriend. Really? We just met.

It's about what you think.

Dick went up closer and I will use it.

I have excellent aim.

Just let me explain.

I'm calling the police.

I am the police.

No, sir. You are a statistic.

I'm Special Agent Josh Dawson, FBI.

I'm currently in the middle of an
undercover operation and there's been a

mistake. I was expecting a female agent
who was supposed to play my girlfriend,

but you sat down instead.

No. I sat down with Margo as Kat's 1922
in a green sweater. It's Christmas.

Every guy in there is a green sweater.

Oh, no.

Unfortunately, you are now a part of
this investigation.

And if you leave now, it will look
extremely suspicious.

It will blow six months of work. A
criminal will walk loose on the streets.

could potentially put our lives in
danger.

I just liked it for a little adventure.

Now I gotta think of a really little
one.

I just need you to sit down at the table
with me, pretend to be my girlfriend,

and when the meal's over, I will find a
way to get you out safely.

Understood? Yes, but no.

Whitney, look at me.

You can do this.

It's one hour of your life.

One hour with a criminal?

No, I'm a librarian.

Okay.

It's what we do.

Let me do the talking.

Defer to me. If they ask you any
questions, keep it vague.

We can get through this.

We have to get through this.

Please.

Okay.

I promise you can get me out.

I promise.

Sorry about that.

You okay?

Yeah, yeah.

So we like the tasting menu here. Are
you two okay with that?

Sounds perfect.

And that's when I had to

say to him, Johnny.

Remember to hold on to the club when you
swing?

This guy.

He plays golf like he's batting in the
major league. Why can't I have more of a

Babe Ruth than a Tiger Woods?

I liked him immediately.

He's not like the other Wall Street
guys.

But you already knew that, right?

Do you know most shellfish allergies
develop in adulthood?

I... I do not.

No, that... Women are more likely to
suffer than men.

You don't think that, Galsby?

I just think I'm maybe starting to hit
me.

You know?

It's not anyone else I can trouble.

I'm sorry.

I just babble when I'm nervous.

Why are you nervous?

Look at you two.

You're both so successful and
attractive.

It's almost scary.

That's very sweet of you to say, but
we're just regular Joes.

Promise.

So, Whitney, what do you do for a job?

I am a dancer.

Ballroom dancer, actually.

Yeah, or I was, you know. It's kind of
another life.

Are you kidding?

No. How exciting.

Oh, I love ballroom dancing.

Something so romantic about it.

I always wanted to learn, but I actually
love feet.

It's true, she does.

So what do you do now that you're
retired?

You said former dancer.

I did.

She's more in between jobs right now.

Oh, really?

Are you looking for work?

Yeah. No.

Because I'm planning this huge charity
ball for the museum on the 24th, and I

so far behind, right? I mean, the
seating charts and vendor questions, the

goes on and on. I could really use your
help.

Really?

Wow.

Like a lot of work.

Just until Christmas.

You could come over and we could hang
out while the boys do their business

thing.

Yeah, I'd love to.

Yay, Whitney.

We're going to have so much fun. So much
fun.

This is a big problem.

Agent Tanner.

Sir, what happened out there? Did you
replace me? I was never informed.

You were late.

There were carolers everywhere.

They cornered me.

Anyway, when I arrived, she was already
in there, and you stopped answering my

calls. We were a little preoccupied.

I'm so sorry.

The lunch is over now, and you guys can
take over. I'll just go home, and you

forget this ever happened.

Right?

Right? Sir, we have to find a way to get
Whitney out safely. I suggest we stage

a public breakup, something of that
sort.

Agreed.

The goal of this meeting was to secure
an invitation to the Bateman's

Correct?

Correct. But... Did Whitney not just
accept the job offer from Patty Bateman,

which would bring the both of you there
on a regular basis?

I have a job.

Technically, I mean... We are on
Christmas vacation now. You heard her.

She can't do it. If we pull Whitney now,
they'll get suspicious.

It would just be a few days. All she'd
have to do is plan the mistletoe ball

with the suspect's wife.

Is that something that you have
experience with?

I plan the snowball dance for the school
every year. Not exactly the same thing.

You try corralling 120 kids.

It's not that easy.

I have 10 -year -old twins, and they are
incomprehensible.

I think she's well prepared.

Sir, if I may.

She has no poker face.

She rants when she gets nervous. Who
knows what she'll say if she gets put on

the spot. She could blow the entire op.
And you can train her.

Strategies for coping with stress, basic
intel gathering, self -defense.

At Christmas, you know, I'm sure she
would rather be home with her family.

Actually, I'm free.

I... Do have a game night on Christmas
Eve with my parents, which they will

freak if I don't come too, but other
than that... The event's Christmas Eve,

so...

So if it all goes well,

you'll have this wrapped up before then.

Right? Right. Mm -hmm.

So, Whitney, will you do it?

Yeah, I will.

Excellent. Agent Dawson will send you
the case file. You two can meet up first

thing tomorrow.

The Bureau sent over a bunch of clothes.

Anything you might need?

Oh, wow.

One of those for me?

Yes. I got black and a gingerbread
latte. I wasn't sure which one you'd

I'm a sucker for nutmeg.

I've never really gotten that from this.

There's not a wreath or a twinkle light
inside.

I have other priorities.

Did you read the material I sent over?

I did.

So you're aware of the mission
parameters?

Yes. Save a priceless necklace from a
life on the black market.

That's right.

Now, we set up a phone for you.

If we get separated, you need me, you
use this.

And remember, we're supposed to be a
couple.

So... Right.

Got it.

So once we get to the Bateman residence,
your goal will be to occupy Patty while

I... Do all the work?

I didn't say that.

Well, we got the bickering down.

Not all couples bicker.

It's not the good one.

Okay. You'll have to find a good one.

Let me know.

My parents were one.

Really?

Yeah.

They set the bar kind of high.

Yeah, you were willing to go on a blind
date with Mark Loves Cats in 1922.

Like you wouldn't go on a blind date.
Oh, I don't think.

It's too risky.

And here.

You're going to want to wear these.

I don't even know my thighs.

We're the FBI.

Okay, let's go over the backstory.

We'll start with the easy stuff.

Where did we meet?

A, restaurant. B, museum. C, subway.

D, FBI headquarters.

I feel like you're trying to trick me.

Whitney?

A, restaurant.

No.

We did meet in a restaurant. We met.

At the 81st Street subway station. I saw
you standing there with locked eyes the

rest of history. Did you not read the
material?

It's 340 pages.

These are the important parts. Don't
bury it in an unreadable document.

Seriously. I'd afford to weave a little
bit of narrative in here.

Go again.

Name the six missing artifacts.

Go.

Bronze Aphrodite.

Goddess of Love.

Cleopatra's love note.

Oh. King Jack.

Love notes?

Or scrolls or whatever.

Go again.

Bycraft, you need to be able to send a
text message from your phone in your

pocket without anyone knowing.

Let's throw something simple like ETA
6pm.

Okay.

Damn. Go again.

And I talk up and it looks.

Now, good self -defense is all about
momentum. You don't want to be tough

-footed. That'll put your opponent at
the advantage.

Okay. That was pretty good.

Thanks. Swing at me.

You sure?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, that was good.

Yeah, I forgot to say my parents put me
in a lot of martial arts classes as a

kid.

And dance classes.

I'm just showing off.

Wait, so the whole ballroom dancer thing
was... Oh, no, that's mostly true.

Just being a librarian is easier on your
joints.

Again?

We met on the 81st Street platform.

We've been together four months. Things
are just starting to get serious. You

haven't met my family, and you have no
family.

Good.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, sure.

When you said you had no family, you
mean, like, no family.

No.

Do you care to elaborate?

Nope.

I'm going to change, pick something up,
wheels up in 20.

You're strong. You're smart.

You're capable.

What are you doing?

My affirmations.

They work really well with kids.

Okay. Try to relax.

Be yourself.

Mostly.

Just patty -talking as long as you can
so I can gather as much intel as

possible. Best -case scenario, I find
something incriminating and I arrest him

before it gets too far.

And worst -case scenario?

We'll cross that bridge when we have to.

Oh, come in, come in. It's freezing.

Thank you. Thanks again for coming. I
cannot tell you how

happy I am to have some help.

Christmas is so busy.

Yeah, no, of course. I've actually
always wanted to go to this event, but

tickets are so expensive.

Wow, your home is so lovely.

Thank you.

Oh, Lou's waiting for you upstairs,
Shawna. You can head on up. Oh, great,

thanks.

See you in a minute. Bye.

You two are so cute.

Don't you just love love?

I do, yeah.

So, do you want to tell me where you're
at in planning?

Oh, yeah.

This way.

Come in.

Hey, Johnny boy.

Have a seat.

I'm sorry we didn't get into the meat of
the business deal the other day, you

know, but that girlfriend of yours, what
a charmer.

You know, I don't think I'll ever be
able to order scallops again without

thinking of her.

You and me both.

I'll call the caterers later and confirm
the numbers.

Oh, thanks, and don't forget to include
the security team.

Security team?

It's for the necklace.

They've got four guards on it 24 -7.

It's being stored in a high -security
vault near the museum right now. They

won't let anyone see it until the ball.

Seems like it's in demand.

Oh, it is.

Lucky for me, Lou can be very
persuasive.

Save me from begging.

Now, you have some clients interested in
investing in my startup, right?

Yes, I do. And I cannot wait to dive
into it. But do you mind if I use the

restroom first?

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Go ahead.

Thanks, man.

Okay.

Have you seen it? No, but I'm dying to.

Tell me again why it only comes out once
a year.

Oh, well, as the story goes, it was
given to a German princess by her secret

American lover for Christmas.

Sorry, I got lost.

Your house is enormous.

Yeah, the powder room is by the front
door.

Right. Of course.

Did you want one?

Oh, no, no. I was just browsing.

It's quite the selection.

Go ahead, then. You can have one.

Take whichever one you want.

You don't want that.

This is the one.

Whitney's going to love it.

Yeah,

and if you have any questions at all,
just call. I'm here.

Thank you, Patty.

Bye. I'll call you.

So did you find anything?

No, nothing.

Now we're running out of time.

What does that mean?

I'm going to have to catch him stealing
at the log.

I've got to talk to the museum director.

Okay.

Hello.

You must be Agent Austin. I am.

And this is, uh, Whitney.

Hello. Did Agent Michaels bring up the
speed?

He did, yes.

Though I must admit, I find it hard to
believe that a criminal would try to

steal a necklace at the heart of
Christmas.

No less in a room filled with people.

This man is a professional.

He's done it before and he could do it
again. So we have to put safety measures

in place to stop him. Yes, but this is a
high -end event, so we can't have men

in their SWAT gear roaming about.

You know, we just wouldn't be...

helpful for the effective atmosphere.

I understand that, but our agents will
be undercover, so we will blend in.

No one will be the wiser.

No, I don't know. If Ward gets out,
turnout could be low, and this is the

biggest fundraiser of the year.

Ward will not get out, because this is a
covert operation.

And while your turnout is important, it
cannot be our priority.

Forgive me, but the money we raise here
enables... thousands of children to

immerse themselves in the art that
wouldn't otherwise be able to afford it.

you may not think that's very important,
but I take my duty seriously.

Well, I take my duty to public safety
seriously.

Henry, if I may, I think we all want the
same things here. Art should be in a

place like this for everyone to enjoy,
right? It's not floating around on the

black market for only wealthy people to
see.

So if you wouldn't mind giving us the...

Little pure.

We promise we will make sure that the
necklace stays in the right hands and

everyone stays safe.

Right after you.

Thank you.

I would love to see some of your
favorite pieces. Oh, yes.

This is one of the grand salons,
decorated for whatever season we're in.

Okay, so the necklace will go...

Right here.

Install security cameras here and here
and over all the entrances and the fire

escapes. Why haven't I received this
floor plan yet?

Oh, I will make sure to get you a copy
when we're done here.

Could I see that for a second?

Yeah, perfect.

This is

called the Dahlia Dance.

Legend has it that the artist was struck
by lightning and, while unconscious,

had a vision of a beautiful woman
surrounded by red dahlias. When he woke,

became obsessed with finding her, but
never could. But then, sometime later,

ran into a woman selling red dahlias
and... And with her. Indeed.

He gifted this to her their first
Christmas together.

What a beautiful story.

Yes, that is why I curated the piece
back in 1998.

But a few years ago, we actually
discovered it was a fake.

But where is the real one? Buried in a
safe outside Budapest. It is now worth

more than a Jackson Pollock, but it
remains a hidden gem.

Unless you know to look for it.

Oh, would you excuse me? Of course.

What if we created a fake?

What do you mean? A duplicate necklace
with a little tracker thing in it, and

could let it get stolen.

And then follow them.

Whitney, that is actually a really good
idea.

We'd have to switch it out with the real
necklace before it goes on display. And

figure out where they're storing it. Oh,
in a vault near the museum.

Excuse me?

Yeah, 24 -7 guards, according to Patty.

Why didn't you tell me this sooner?

Well, it never came up.

Okay.

You know, that does make sense, though.
What makes sense?

We're going to need to swap it at the
vault.

But if they can't even get into the
vault, how will we?

You leave that to me.

Right now, we just need to find a
jeweler.

I might have one.

Rachel says she's a bit of a character,
but she made her engagement ring, and

it's stunning.

Okay. What is going on here?

Jewelry is, um, kind of a side hustle.
For real business. Oh, boy.

He kind of looks like you.

That's a little more Pollyanna than my
childhood.

What do you mean?

Not a lot of gift exchange in foster
care.

Hello, hello, Merry Christmas.

Would you care for some peppermint bark?

Wow, I know, it's the glasses, right?

I mean, it's the whole Mrs. Clark
package, really.

No, what can I help you with? Um,
twinkle lights, inflatable lawn decor.

We've got it all.

We're actually here about jewelry.

Oh.

Are you two shopping for a ring?

No.

We're looking for something a little
more custom.

Follow me.

Well, so what are we looking at?

Reshaping, resetting, melting gold,
swapping gemstones.

We need a necklace that looks like this.

Whoa, that's quite the piece.

I know.

It's a family heirloom.

That we lost and are trying to replace.

You think you can recreate it? All
right.

These are lab culture gemstones. But
once I'm done with it, you will not be

to tell the difference.

We also need to add this.

You think you can do it? Piece of cake.

Piece of Christmas cake.

I will email you a photo of the
necklace.

All right. Excellent.

Give me a couple of hours. Thank you.

See you later.

I've got to follow up with Kira about
the storage facility.

Are you good here for a minute? Oh,
yeah.

Okay.

Whitney?

What are you doing here?

Buying stuff.

What are you doing here?

Picking up our wedding bands.

Why haven't you been answering my calls?

I've been very busy.

What happened with you and Mark?

Why'd you go with them?

Look, I'm so sorry. I got cold feet, and
I bailed, and I should have texted you.

But, you know, we should hang out for
New Year's. Yeah.

We, uh... Hi.

Hi.

Who's this?

Johnny.

Winnie's boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

What's he talking about?

Yeah, he's my boyfriend.

I was going to tell you, but I wanted to
tell my parents first, and I'm going to

call them today.

But Rachel was just leaving, so... Oh.

I was?

Oh, I was, yes.

Nice to meet you. And, uh...

Nice meeting you, boyfriend.

Nice to meet you.

Should I be worried?

Boyfriend.

What do you want me to say?

Anything else.

Literally anything.

All righty then. I think that does it.

Wow.

Well done.

Well, thank you.

There you go, sir.

You might be hearing from me again. Oh,
well, you know where to find me. Here in

the North Pole.

Thank you.

That's a nice coat.

Look at you.

Look at all this.

Oh.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It just needed a
festive boost.

Hope you're taking that with you.

What? No.

This is an early Christmas present from
your fake girlfriend.

I don't really do presents.

From anybody?

Look, don't look so sad, okay?

Christmas is just another day for me.

Anyway, Kira sent over the schematics
for the vault.

There's only one short -term holding
area in the whole building.

The necklace has to be here.

Now, there's only two ways in and out.

There's a front door, which is two feet
of solid steel, and guarded 24 -7.

And the other way?

The ceiling.

I'll enter through the vent shaft,
replace the real necklace with the

and then I'll climb out.

Did you call in the diversion?

Yes. The Christmas cookies will be
delivered in one hour.

Excellent.

What happens if you need backup?

I won't need backup.

I'll be in and out.

Now, you tell me what happens if someone
sees you.

Right. I stage an epic family fight over
the phone. Mom is having a Christmas

meltdown. Too many tasks and too little
time.

Jess, don't yell so loud they actually
call the police.

Do we get walkie -talkies?

No. You ready?

Yeah.

Can I try that down a little bit?

Kind of calm the nerves, you know?

Don't be nervous.

Your part's done.

The rest is up to me.

You're going to be all right, right?

Worried about me?

What if I am?

Don't be.

This is what I do.

So what's your trick?

Breathing, meditation, hypnotism.

Note, Grick, if I'll have ever known.

All right.

I'll see you soon.

Here we go.

Jingle bells, jingle... Please don't let
us get caught.

I'd like to live another day and I love
Christmas a lot.

Hey.

Hi,

Mom. This isn't really a good time.

Why? What do you mean? Where are you?

Uh, just out for a drive.

At night? In the winter?

Um... Yeah, which is why I shouldn't
talk. You know, safety in the car. Okay,

bye. Oh, no, wait a minute. I just have
to ask you a question. I ran into

Rachel. What is this about you having a
boyfriend?

Oh, yeah, I'll explain later.

Why didn't you tell us?

I was going to.

I swear.

When?

Soon.

You know, just trying to find the right
time.

Why don't you bring him to game night on
Christmas Eve? We'd love to meet him.

Yeah.

Shoot, you know, something came up, and
we're going to have to reschedule. What

do you mean, something came up? It's a
family tradition.

I know, I know.

Which is why we should do it tomorrow on
the 23rd. Oh, okay.

All right.

What was that?

Nothing, nothing. Okay, love you. Bye.

We're supposed to stay in the car. I
heard on the alarm. I was worried. Oh,

think that at all? Who's to get them
away from their boats?

We're trying to save your life. I had to
be in control of something. Sure.

Come work with the FBI.

Plan a party. It'll be fine.

What are you saying?

You haven't seen them die hard.

So.

Jeez. Best Christmas movie ever. Shh.

We're here.

You want me back up?

No. Then you've got to do it.

You're serious.

I'll give you the fake. I'll blow you
down. You swab out the necklace.

And I'll lift you back up.

Easy peasy.

Okay. You got this, Hannah?

Yeah. Okay.

Okay, I got this.

Okay. Just remember, no matter what you
do,

Cookies are arriving.

Three, two, one.

Hey guys, check it out.

Special delivery.

I'll take the electrical box.

You guys stay here.

We should lock everything down just to
be safe.

Forget it! We gotta go!

Leave it!

Once they locked the place down, there
would have been no getting out.

You okay?

Yeah. Why'd you set up another alarm?

I didn't.

I was right there. I could have gotten
in. I know.

But something didn't feel right, and I
did not want to take that chance.

Now we're going to have to wait till the
gala to swap the necklace before Luke

can steal it.

I'm going to have to call Kira to set up
a meeting tomorrow.

Um, speaking of tomorrow, I may have to
go to game night with my parents.

Say what?

I want to meet my new boyfriend.

Santa and Mrs. Claus have landed. No
tail.

You're good to go. Copy that.

Thank you.

Your parents have arrived.

It's go time.

Is this really necessary?

Oh, yes. Now, this is mandatory.

Look, everything is great. We just need
to get through the next two hours.

Be yourself.

And everything will be fine.

You know, maybe lose, like, 20 % of the
scowl.

What scowling?

You are radiating.

Tension. Look, I get it.

You're mad. You did not sign up to meet
my family.

No, it's not that. I just... I've
never...

You've never met a girlfriend's family
before?

Oh, okay.

Wow.

That's okay.

When in doubt, just ask them questions
about them.

Or any home security system.

They love that.

Hi, honey. Hi.

Oh, it looks so gorgeous in here.

And there he is, the enigma himself.

Yeah. Mom, this is Johnny. Johnny, this
is my mom, Cheryl, and my dad, Jim.

Nice to meet you. Likewise. Likewise.

So, how did you mean?

Dad, can we have some snacks before we
start the Spanish Inquisition? Sure.

The game is Christmas Charades.

Now, everything in this hat is holiday
themed, so you have to be very specific.

Got it.

Johnny, what do you say you and I team
up, huh?

No. That's okay. We'll stick together.

No, that's okay.

I'd love to.

Really? Yeah.

Okay, ladies first.

You need to take that?

Oh, it's just Patty. She's wondering if
I'm ready for the book fair

in January.

I'm ready.

Okay.

One minute on the clock, and go.

Chicken,

chicken, chicken dance. No, that's not
Christmas.

Partridge in a pear tree?

Oh, Christmas turkey, turkey, turkey,
turkey, Christmas dinner!

That was Oscar -worthy. I'd like

to see you do better.

So would I.

Go.

Pillow. Nose. Smells like a pillow.

Christmas pillow decor.

Basketball.

Right.

A dog.

No. Okay. Right. Okay. Follow your nose.

Yes. Looking for a... All right.

Oh, a horse. A horse. Dad, you're just
saying random words.

Don't you help me. Go on.

Christmas sleigh ride.

No.

Pig.

Pig dog sleigh. Oh, Jim, you're being
cruel.

You know, don't you? Yes, fine, Miss
Rudolph.

Welcome to Shreds.

You are terrible.

You were great.

Mom, you're up.

Okay.

So, honey, Mom, he's awfully cute.

I can tell that he really likes you.

Mm -hmm.

What I don't understand is what took you
so long to tell us.

You know how you and Dad like to vet the
people that I'm dating?

Hmm. I just wanted the chance to get to
know him without the pressure.

Maybe make my own mistakes for once.

Is it a mistake?

No.

I don't think it is.

Sorry about earlier.

That's fine. I do get a little
protective.

As you should.

You know, when she was seven years old,
she found a stray cat.

In our garage.

And it had six kittens.

Cheryl and I are allergic to cats, so we
couldn't have them around.

And, well, Whitney was inconsolable.

She gets attached very quickly and very
deeply.

So, do me a favor.

If you're not into it for real, just do
the right thing.

Just walk away.

Okay, trust me.

The last thing I want is for anyone to
get hurt.

No, you took it all. Especially her.

Another round?

Yeah, thanks.

All right.

Oh, and Jim.

Just lucky to have you guys.

Thank you.

Well,

it was great to meet you, Johnny.

The pleasure was mine.

Drive safe.

We will, of course. 50 miles an hour in
over two years.

Thank you for changing your plans and
coming tonight.

We didn't really have much of a choice,
did we? Tell me, what are you doing

tomorrow? A party.

A party?

Where?

It's, uh... silent auction thing at the
museum.

You mean the mistletoe ball?

Yeah. Since when?

Since I invited her.

It's kind of a work thing.

Oh.

Tell me what it is you do again, Johnny.

Finance. Oh, right.

Okay. We'll see you on Christmas.

Okay, yeah. Goodbye.

Bye. Bye.

Love you. Love you, too.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye -bye. Call you. Yep. Yeah.

That was weird. Yeah.

Tech, rescheduling, the ball.

The chemistry seems genuine.

Maybe. There's something she's not
telling us.

How's it going in there?

I'm almost ready.

Good. I want to go over the plan one
more time.

I think it fits.

Yeah, it, uh...

Should

we go over it again?

Yeah. Go for it.

Okay, uh... Suspect is Lou Bateman.

believed to be responsible for the theft
of six stolen, priceless artifacts from

around the world.

His next target is the Heart of
Christmas, otherwise known as the Mona

jewelry. It only comes out once a year,
so... So it's our last shot.

But no pressure, right?

After we arrive at the museum, we will
wait for Patty's introductory remarks,

and then I will create a diversion.

A gentle nudge at the champagne tower,
and... Kaboom. I got the power.

And swap the necklace.

And hopefully no one is the wiser.

Now, we don't know who Lou is working
with or what he's going to make his

so we have to keep an eye out for his
accomplices. But do not follow them

yourself.

You leave that to me.

You having second thoughts?

No. It's okay if you are, because we can
always say you got thick. You don't

have to come.

You still don't think I can do that?

I didn't say that.

No, it's fair.

In my life, anything like this, I
probably would have been absolutely

For the first time ever, I feel like I'm
a part of something important.

Like I can help people, and I want to
see that through.

Plus, Maddie will be really mad if we
don't show up.

That's true. And we can't have that. So,
unless you want to be late, tell

me.

Agent Dawson, we are in position and we
are standing by.

Copy that.

Here we go.

There it is.

There he is.

Johnny boy.

Hey. Oh, Whitney.

It looks incredible in here, and so do
you.

Thank you.

This is Henry, the museum director.

These are our new friends, Whitney and
Johnny.

Nice to meet you. Yes, nice to meet you.

Henry has done such a brilliant job
curating the museum. Have you seen the

Dance? No, it is my favorite piece in
the whole museum.

I mean, aside from the necklace.

Honey,

I think that's your cue.

Have fun, you two.

I better go for moral support.

I'll catch up with you, all right?
Sounds good.

Ready?

Ready.

Good evening, everyone, and welcome to
the 10th Annual Mistletoe Ball in honor

of the Museum's Art for Kids program.

On behalf of Henry Kopelman and our
lovely board of directors, we would like

thank you all for coming. Your
generosity during this holiday season is

appreciated. And we do have a number of
fun things to do tonight. But first, we

want to remind you that we do indeed
have a dance floor.

So I'm here to kick it off with a tango
is a former professional dancer and my

new bestie, Whitney.

Take it away, Whitney and Johnny.

What's happening here?

Are you going to dance?

Okay.

I guess there's no good way to get out
of this now.

I don't think so.

And the necklace?

We'll keep eyes on it.

Have you ever danced tango before?

Nope.

Hello, Whitney.

Dad?

What are you doing here?

Well, after last night, Mother and I
looked up the ball and decided we had to

come. This was such a good cause. We get
to see you again.

And boy, am I glad we got those last
-minute tickets.

That dance was worth the price of
admission.

Yeah, well...

Guess all those dance classes you took
me to as a kid finally paid off.

Where's Mom?

Oh, she's gone to freshen up.

So, Johnny.

What's happened?

I don't know. Johnson, what happened?

Was that you?

It's Dallas.

What's going on?

Find Mom.

Stay together.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

We missed it.

The necklace is gone.

Copy.

Do you have a description?

No, not yet.

Look.

Hey!

FBI! Stop!

Mail! He's got a pretty case. He's
heading for the room.

Hey.

You're under arrest. You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say will be held against
you.

Josh, look.

It's empty.

It was a decoy.

So what?

Henry?

He goes on the move. Black SUV.

We have a new suspect. His name is Henry
Copelman. He's the museum director.

Mom?

Dad?

They have my parents.

We now have two hostages. Repeat, two
hostages. They're in a second vehicle.

They're heading westbound towards Main
Street.

What are you doing? I'm going over. I'm
going to cut him off.

I'm coming with you.

No, it's too dangerous.

You told me to hear it.

Jump first, then clear.

You okay?

Wake!

FBI, get out of the vehicle!

Hi, honey.

FBI, put your hands where I can see
them.

How did you do that?

Picked up a few things over the years,
your mother and I.

From the home security installation
business.

Okay, Mom, what is going on? Before we
started the home security business, your

mother and I... You were in the Bureau.

Spent a few years in the art fraud
department in the late 80s.

Excuse me?

Horses are safe, I repeat.

Horses are safe.

So we met as young recruits. We worked
together for seven years.

And I doubt that your mother was
pregnant. We both decided to retire

immediately.

What about your home security company?

We opened it two months before you were
born. That's all real.

Agent Dawson.

Do you have eyes on Lou Bateman? He's
already in custody, but he said he has

nothing to do with it.

Of course he didn't.

What about Henry?

Backup's in pursuit.

We got him on GPS.

Wait, what?

Well, thanks to the tracking device you
installed.

What are you talking about?

We never swapped the mechanism.

It's gone.

What then?

Who did? We did it.

Mom, why?

Postponing game night.

Not telling us about your new boyfriend.

Last night, you just weren't yourself.

Nothing added up. So we called an old
friend in the bureau, asked him to look

into Johnny here.

And when we discovered Agent Doc
Dawson... We got tickets to the ball to

sure you were okay. And we saw you
dancing and looking at your purse like a

predator locked on a prey, so... Well,
you were distracted. We took a peek, saw

the necklace, and realized what was
about to happen.

The old bait switch.

We've done it a time or two ourselves.

So I took the necklace, cut the power.

And during the chaos that ensued, I
swapped it for you. But as I was walking

away, I saw someone take it.

We followed, but then... But anyway, you
know the rest.

I still don't understand. Did you hire
Henry? Oh, he's probably getting the cut

of the sale, honey.

Yeah. I can't believe this. I know. It's
a lot to take in. No, what I can't

believe is you guys.

You've been lying to me for...

Like, forever.

Honey, it was for your own safety.

Now, you, sir, I do not know how you got
her mixed up in this, but... Whoa, no.

She had nothing to do with this. In
fact, he tried to talk me out of it

times. Then why... Because I wanted to.

Because my whole life, I've been trying
to be the perfect daughter for you two.

Being safe, never taking any risks.

It's stifling.

And meanwhile, you two are like... A lot
of people.

I need faith.

Whitney, please.

I'll talk to him.

We're going to have to get your
statements on record.

Can you take them to headquarters,
please?

Of course.

Whitney, wait.

You okay?

No, because I can't I feel like everyone
in my life thinks I'm incompetent.

Nobody thinks that. Yes, they do.

And you, worst of all.

How many times did you say to your boss,
she can't do it?

I didn't know you then.

And yet, just two hours ago, you were
trying to convince me out of all this.

Because I didn't want you to get hurt.
Not because I thought you couldn't

it.

Look, I wanted to protect you.

Like my parents were.

You can't be mad at him for wanting to
keep you safe. By lying to me?

By not trusting me?

By crashing the most exciting thing in
my life?

Winnie, they're your family.

Don't shut them out.

What do you know about family?

Yeah.

I'll be right there.

I gotta go.

Henry's in custody.

Okay.

I'll have someone drive you home.

Henry, Henry, Henry.

Quite the mess you got yourself into.

Me? Oh, please.

There was nothing subtle about what you
guys did tonight.

You promised no drama.

Says a man who tried to steal a $10
million necklace.

Sir, I just got off the phone with the
museum.

The necklace is not the only thing
missing.

What? Apparently a painting was also
taken. It must have happened after the

crowd was evacuated.

Which painting?

It's the one with the woman and the red
flowers.

The Dahlia dance.

Oh, she is bold.

Gotta give her that.

Wait.

What do you mean, she?

Whitney, what are you doing here? I just
wanted to make sure you're okay after

all the craziness.

May I come in?

Of course.

I didn't know you were traveling for
Christmas.

Last minute trip to Aruba.

Need a break from all this cold.

What was that?

What was what? I didn't hear anything.

You know, I've been thinking about the
necklace and all the artifacts that went

missing.

Franz Aphrodite, King Tut's scrolls.

Dahlia Dance.

You know what they all have in common?

Love.

You know who loved love?

Whitney. I get it.

Who doesn't love a romantic story?

I know I do. I've read all of them.

Leave now, and I will forget you came
here. I can help you, Patty, but you

to tell me the truth.

I'm afraid it's too late for that now.

FDR, you're under arrest.

I recorded that. Hit that out. Oh,
that's great. Thank you, Whitney.

Merry Christmas, kiddo.

Can we come in?

Listen, about yesterday, you had every
right to be mad.

As a parent, your number one job is to
keep your kids safe.

And despite feeling like we made the
right choice at the time,

we know we took it too far.

We actually thought you liked your life,
liked your job.

I didn't realize how much pressure we
were putting on you.

If I'd known you were so unhappy, I
would have told you sooner. I am so, so

sorry, honey.

You know those kittens you saved that
one Christmas when you were a kid?

I don't know if you remember this,
but...

When you found them in the garage, those
kittens were up in the rafters, so you

had to climb up there to rescue them.

And that's how your mother and I found
you.

Seven years old, hanging by one arm,
fearless.

You were always capable, Whitney.

We were just too afraid to let you go.

I said, okay. Yep, go.

Right? Yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Go, go, just go, go.

Hi.

Hi.

I, uh, never got a chance to thank you.

You got a little crazy last night.

You don't have to.

Yeah, I do.

Patty would have gotten away if you
hadn't slowed her down.

About what I said at the museum, I'm so
sorry.

Okay. No, it's not. I was upset, and I
took it out on you, and you

didn't deserve that.

Here.

What's this for?

You couldn't let another Christmas go by
without someone giving you a present.

I know this wasn't your experience
growing up, but... Maybe going forward

could be.

Um... Do you mind?

Oh. I, uh... I actually got a little
something for you, too.

It's the world you got.

Oh. And I did remove the tracker.

Just a little reminder of everything
that you did this week.

And I hope that when you look at it,
you'll see what I've seen.

An elementary school librarian?

No.

The bravest person I've ever met.

Anyway, it's Christmas.

I'm sure you want to spend time with
your family, so I'll leave you to it.

Wait.

What are you doing tonight?

You know me.

Just another day.

You could stay.

You are supposed to be my boyfriend
after all.

Yeah.

About that.

Maybe we could ditch the big part.

Sure you don't want to give Mark Lost
Cats 1922 another shot?

I've never been more sure of anything in
my life.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Hey, Josh.

You want to come in?

Dad, it's my apartment. Of course he's
coming in.

We need to work on boundaries.

I was thinking I should join the FBI.

What?