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00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:08,408
(dramatic music plays)
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00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,913
Arliss: For most of us,
3
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,216
the dream of
becoming a champion,
4
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:17,634
remains a fantasy.
5
00:00:17,635 --> 00:00:18,985
(shouting)
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00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:20,587
Arliss: But for a special few,
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00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:23,189
it is very much a reality.
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We cheer them.
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We live through them.
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00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:28,862
Athletes are our last warriors.
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00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:32,632
My job is to make
their dreams come true.
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00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,400
- ♪ ♪
- (splashes)
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00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:36,169
My name is Arliss Michaels.
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00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,438
I represent athletes.
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00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:39,973
These are my stories.
16
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:43,209
♪ Don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪
17
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:44,777
♪ I only know I never ♪
18
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:46,679
♪ Wanna let you go ♪
19
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:50,250
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
20
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:54,153
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
21
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:57,624
♪ It happens to be true ♪
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00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:01,261
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
23
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:04,797
♪ I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪
24
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:08,668
♪ As long as we're
together, honey, I don't care ♪
25
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,005
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
26
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:15,675
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
27
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:19,145
♪ No matter what you do ♪
28
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:22,549
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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Man on P.A.: Six minutes
to post time. Six minutes.
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00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,829
Arliss: So, Oda's
balking at paying you
31
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,888
the 2.5 million to
ride Wonder Boy,
32
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:30,223
but I hold the trump card.
33
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,725
In our rotisserie league,
Oda needs stolen bases,
34
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:34,460
so I say, "Oda, give us a 2.5,
35
00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:36,229
and I'll throw in
Robbie Alomar."
36
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,397
He says, "Deal."
37
00:01:37,463 --> 00:01:39,933
Arliss, you constantly amaze me.
38
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:41,935
Why? You just won the Preakness,
39
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:43,119
you're Asian.
40
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,237
Asian-American.
41
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:45,438
Asian!
42
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,707
And I knew one of those
Far East companies would pay
43
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,342
and pay and pay.
44
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:53,313
Don't worry. I'm gonna ride
Wonder Boy all the way to the bank.
45
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:56,816
And, Arliss, having
you for an agent
46
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,751
is better than life insurance.
47
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:02,221
Tommy, you're in
good hands with Arliss.
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00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,807
(hissing)
49
00:02:03,808 --> 00:02:05,325
(muffled shouting)
50
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,492
No, no, no!
51
00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:08,127
Turn it off, turn it off!
52
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,596
Tommy, you okay?
53
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,431
Tommy, can you hear me?
54
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:12,599
Tommy, can you hear me?
55
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,700
(muffled groan)
56
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,969
Tommy? Tommy?
57
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:18,938
(playing "Taps")
58
00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:27,246
Man: He beats
nicotine, alcohol, drugs,
59
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,415
and an air bag gets him.
60
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,883
How does that happen?
61
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,619
It was an accident.
I swear it was.
62
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:34,454
- What?
- Nothing, nothing, never mind.
63
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,356
I lost a good friend.
64
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,458
You? I lost an
entire department.
65
00:02:38,524 --> 00:02:40,235
An agent can only represent
one jockey, you know.
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00:02:40,259 --> 00:02:41,928
We should talk.
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00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,529
Yeah? How many
races you win this year?
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00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:44,664
None yet.
69
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,732
This isn't the time.
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00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:51,671
♪ ♪
71
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,244
- Rebecca...
- Roberta.
72
00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,312
I meant Roberta.
73
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,381
I can't tell you how
sorry I am about this.
74
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:04,117
Thank you, Arliss,
this is such a shock.
75
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,052
Priest: I shall now
read from Psalm 23.
76
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,921
"The Lord is my
shepherd, I shall not want..."
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00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:11,891
I'm glad Tommy
made you his executer.
78
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,093
Executor, executor.
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00:03:13,094 --> 00:03:14,227
(sobbing)
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00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:16,496
Tommy's will clearly states
81
00:03:16,562 --> 00:03:18,498
that he leaves
everything to his wife,
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00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:21,968
so I foresee no delays in
getting the estate settled.
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00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,504
Good, I'll stop by tomorrow.
84
00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:26,372
You can walk me
through my inheritance.
85
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,374
"dwell in the house
of the Lord forever."
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00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:30,543
Amen.
87
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:33,046
There is one deal, however,
88
00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:34,490
still on the table we
need to talk about.
89
00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:37,050
(sobbing)
90
00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:39,686
Good, good, around
11:00 tomorrow.
91
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:43,222
Arliss: I've learned that professional
relationships can be fickle.
92
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:47,093
Some last forever,
some are over in a flash.
93
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,411
(camera clicks)
94
00:03:48,412 --> 00:03:49,662
How old does he need to be?
95
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,064
17. What country?
96
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,398
17.
97
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,500
Dominican.
98
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,534
Okay, let's see,
99
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,603
Denmark, Dubai, Deutschland.
100
00:03:57,670 --> 00:04:00,440
Dominican Republic. Here we go.
101
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,208
- How's Bill doing?
- Oh, he's fine.
102
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:03,876
He's up for parole this week.
103
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:06,079
- Oh good, send him my love.
- I will.
104
00:04:06,145 --> 00:04:08,614
I gotta run. Can you
drop it by the office?
105
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:10,850
Sure. You sure you
don't need anything else?
106
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,251
Credit card, driver's license?
107
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,621
No, no, a birth certificate
will be fine for eligibility.
108
00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,056
- Alrighty.
- Okay.
109
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,559
Wait, hold on. You forgot
your smog certificate.
110
00:04:19,625 --> 00:04:21,127
Thank you.
111
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,896
Arliss: I forge relationships
whenever I can.
112
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,833
The mettle of a man
is how he treats others.
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00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,568
Look past the obvious.
114
00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:30,837
- Do not judge, lest ye be judged.
- 'Sup, dawg?
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00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:33,973
Hey, hey, hey, get
away from the car!
116
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,508
C'mon, man, help me out.
117
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:37,910
I just had this washed!
118
00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:39,612
Will you back off, you bum?
119
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♪ ♪
120
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Dennis!
121
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,189
Hey, Dennis!
122
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,258
Wait a minute, Dennis!
Wait up, Dennis!
123
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,427
Wait, wait!
124
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,962
Get out of the way!
125
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:57,930
- Kiss my ass!
- Shit!
126
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,936
Announcer on TV: Tommy Takega's
in the winner's circle once again.
127
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,339
What have you got to say, Tommy?
128
00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:07,573
What a ride!
129
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,409
I just got on board,
he did the rest.
130
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,678
Alrigh...!
131
00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,981
Tommy Takega
winning the Preakness...
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00:05:15,047 --> 00:05:17,984
a moment embedded
in every Asian's memory.
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00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:20,086
That's just it, a memory.
134
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,855
It would have been such
a coup for the company
135
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:25,358
to have Tommy ride
Wonder Boy, and now...
136
00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:28,828
And now he can
still ride Wonder Boy.
137
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:33,099
Arliss, if you think this is gonna
get back Robbie Alomar, forget it.
138
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,134
He stole two bases
for me last night.
139
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:37,913
No, I'm serious. I just gotta get
Mrs. Takega to sign off on the deal.
140
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:40,640
How is a dead man going to
be able to ride Wonder Boy?
141
00:05:40,706 --> 00:05:43,309
Oh c'mon, John Wayne's dead,
and I saw him selling beer last night.
142
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,077
If I go back to the
company and tell them
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00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:46,822
I'm going through with
the Wonder Boy deal,
144
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,414
I'm gonna lose face.
145
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,616
Trust me, it'll work.
146
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,052
Besides, you could
stand to lose a little face.
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00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,955
(laughs) Two stolen bases, huh?
148
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,323
How many did you get?
149
00:05:58,357 --> 00:05:59,792
Here you go.
150
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:03,496
Sally, you are an artiste.
151
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,898
I'm also overdrawn.
I need payment.
152
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:07,667
Thank you.
153
00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:09,769
Alright, anytime, adios.
154
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,904
I'm in last place in saves.
155
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,771
Would you be interested
in trading for Rocker?
156
00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:16,175
Never mind. Look,
157
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:17,977
call me when you get
the widow's release.
158
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,278
Will do. Will do.
159
00:06:19,345 --> 00:06:22,114
Arliss, I just saw Dennis
Colby on the street.
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00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:24,116
Dennis Colby,
Dennis Colby. Denn...
161
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:25,618
College coach Dennis Colby?
162
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:28,154
Yeah, he was holding one of
those "will work for food" signs.
163
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,257
- He looked homeless.
- Dennis Colby was a graduate assistant coach,
164
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:34,227
Key word: graduate. That means
a degree, he's not on the streets.
165
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:35,828
Kirby: Arliss, it was him.
166
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,639
No, no, it was probably
somebody who looked like him.
167
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,474
People tell me all the
time I look like David Keith.
168
00:06:39,498 --> 00:06:41,033
How'd it go with Sally?
169
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:45,171
Could you tell that this is a
forged Dominican birth certificate?
170
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,516
I couldn't tell if it was a real
Dominican birth certificate.
171
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,275
Arliss, I'm sure it was Dennis.
172
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,486
Look, Rita, I need you to
start handling Tommy's affairs.
173
00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:54,213
When Mrs. Takega gets
here, I want her to know
174
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,657
that I'm taking good
care of the estate.
175
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:58,150
Mrs. Takega is
here, in your office.
176
00:06:58,217 --> 00:07:00,453
Now? She's early.
177
00:07:00,519 --> 00:07:03,890
I can't believe you're actually
trying to close a deal on a dead guy.
178
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,892
Why not? This might
be his last commission.
179
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:06,959
Kirby: Arliss.
180
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,061
Sorry, please, I'm grieving.
181
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:14,066
♪ ♪
182
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,472
Roberta, I'm so glad...
183
00:07:19,538 --> 00:07:21,807
Mr. Michaels?
184
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,643
Debbie Takega.
185
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:26,913
Debbie Takega.
186
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,481
And you're Tommy's...
187
00:07:28,547 --> 00:07:30,016
(sobbing) My Tommy.
188
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:32,585
They took my Tommy.
189
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,987
I'm so sorry.
190
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,422
You're Tommy's...?
191
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:40,993
I always feared he'd be
killed under galloping hooves.
192
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:44,497
But, no, a bag of air.
193
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:46,632
A simple bag of air.
194
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:49,368
It was an accident.
195
00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:53,439
Mr. Michaels, where are his
ashes? He was cremated, right?
196
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,341
He got stuck in a
dumbwaiter once
197
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,977
and had a mortal
fear of small boxes.
198
00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:01,714
The ashes? Yes, I have them.
199
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,216
They're at the cemetery.
I can get them for you.
200
00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:05,918
How long did you
say you were married?
201
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,286
Five years.
202
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:08,554
(sobbing)
203
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:09,755
(mouths)
204
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:15,027
I understand that you're
the executer of the will.
205
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,929
Executor, executor.
206
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:20,599
Tommy told me he was
leaving me everything.
207
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,168
Is that correct?
208
00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:26,238
Well, he... he left
everything to his wife, yes.
209
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:32,578
There is one deal still
on the table, however...
210
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,015
(clears throat)
211
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,384
Why am I canceling?
Because he's dead.
212
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,453
Hello, I'm here to
see Arliss Michaels.
213
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,821
Yes, one moment please.
214
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,255
I faxed you the
death certificate.
215
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:44,366
How much more proof do you want?
216
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,692
Arliss, the Wonder
Boy deal is fine by me.
217
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,527
- That's great.
- You have my blessing.
218
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:49,996
- Arliss: Fine.
- Hello, Arliss.
219
00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,765
♪ ♪
220
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:54,100
Roberta!
221
00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:56,135
Would you excuse me one second?
222
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,504
Would you mind please
waiting in my office,
223
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,411
while I show Mrs. Tak...
(mumbles) out the door?
224
00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:02,008
Oh, one second,
225
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:04,052
I need Mrs. Takega to sign
these forms to close the account.
226
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:07,113
We can hold off
on this right now.
227
00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:08,481
Wonderful.
228
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,319
Excuse me, what are you doing?
229
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,730
This isn't important
to take care of.
230
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:17,256
I'm taking care of my
husband's estate, thank you.
231
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,892
Ms. Wu asked for Mrs. Takega.
232
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:22,637
- That's right.
- This is a time of mourning, not a time for business.
233
00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:25,331
Mrs. Tommy Takega.
234
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,433
I'm Mrs. Tommy Takega.
235
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,268
No, you're not, I am.
236
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,772
Arliss, what the
fuck is going on?
237
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:36,642
Um... well, it seems we have
an unusual situation here.
238
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:41,981
Oh, my god.
239
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,544
Nothing that can't
be settled, however.
240
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:41,981
Apparently Tommy was
a very generous man.
241
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,483
It seems he had a
lot of love to give.
242
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:46,484
You mean her?
243
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,620
Oh, my god.
244
00:09:47,686 --> 00:09:49,455
I'll see you in court!
245
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,290
No, I'll see you in court.
246
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,570
- (scoffs)
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
247
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:58,030
When I think of all the
blow jobs I gave him.
248
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,433
And he would never
think of giving back.
249
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,268
His idea of 69 was six.
250
00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:04,012
- Hey, what about the Wonder Boy deal?
- Mr. Michaels,
251
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:06,181
- I don't know if this is a good time right now...
- It's not!
252
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:08,174
Mrs. Takega! Mrs. Takega!
253
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,276
Ah! Jockeys!
254
00:10:10,342 --> 00:10:12,278
A bunch of
oversexed little creeps!
255
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,482
Man: Catch you later.
256
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,917
See ya, bud. Yeah.
257
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,861
(chattering)
258
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,930
Hey, how you doing?
259
00:10:30,996 --> 00:10:33,632
Hey, it's the asshole
who tried to run me over.
260
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,468
I'm really sorry.
261
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,536
Dennis! Z-out, right!
262
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,240
Thumbs together, elbows out.
263
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,476
You always were
a prick about that.
264
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,945
What are you
doing here, Carlisle?
265
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,914
I just, you know, thought
I'd come by to hang,
266
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,583
maybe talk about old times.
267
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:55,354
Do I look like I want
to talk about old times?
268
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:57,923
I just thought...
269
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,658
That was always
your trouble, thinking.
270
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,729
Leave me alone,
forget you ever saw me.
271
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:05,064
- Dennis!
- Take off.
272
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:09,802
What do you mean, the
miles aren't transferable?
273
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,504
Woman on phone:
I'm sorry, ma'am.
274
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:14,940
Our policy is the mileage can only
be used by the name on the account.
275
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,110
But he's got over a
million miles in his account.
276
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,422
Are you going to tell me that no
one is gonna be able to use them?
277
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:23,782
Woman: Sorry, ma'am, the miles
can only be used by Tommy Takega.
278
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,985
That's ridiculous,
that's unfair. That's...
279
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,621
all.
280
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,623
Thank you for your time.
281
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,191
A martini is what?
282
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,959
One part gin and
six parts gin, right?
283
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,828
Arliss, can we talk business?
284
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,372
Of course, I've had
nothing on my mind
285
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,031
but Keith Van Horn all day.
286
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,709
Are you sure it's okay
to cross the picket line
287
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:43,068
- and do that Nike commercial?
- Wait a minute,
288
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:44,713
You went to school at
Brigham Young, right?
289
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:46,038
- Utah.
- Same thing.
290
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,716
How do they deal with
having more than one wife?
291
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:48,741
Arliss, I'm not Mormon.
292
00:11:48,807 --> 00:11:50,609
Well, something must
have rubbed off on you.
293
00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:52,996
I mean, do you know the name
of a good polygamist attorney?
294
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,547
Arliss, I'm not Mormon.
295
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:56,081
Of course not.
296
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:59,518
I mean, you can be just as
miserable with one wife, right?
297
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,823
No, no, no, don't
cook over this can
298
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,293
until the paint burns off.
299
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:09,628
Oh! Still coaching, huh?
300
00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:12,264
Why are you here?
301
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:15,234
I just had an extra tent, I
thought you might want it.
302
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:18,237
No... thanks.
303
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,441
Okay, fine.
304
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,143
You know, it's a free country.
305
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:28,147
I think I'll just set up
my little camp right here.
306
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:37,456
(poles clatter)
307
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:40,159
I can't believe you took
us to the Rose Bowl.
308
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,527
Yup.
309
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,896
I also don't believe you
celebrated the victory
310
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:46,699
by getting a mohawk,
passed out in the hotel lobby,
311
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,802
and missed the team plane.
312
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:52,805
Oh, yeah, forgot about that.
313
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,444
So, you see any of the guys?
314
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,145
Dennis: Nah.
315
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:02,414
I don't invite them over much.
316
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,216
They bring their kids,
317
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,319
the little rugrats end
up trashing my furniture.
318
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,125
Dennis... what happened?
319
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:17,730
I think it's a Hemingway book where
someone asks a guy how he went broke.
320
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:22,134
The guy says, "Slowly
at first, then very fast."
321
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,838
I heard about the... incident.
322
00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:27,973
Incident, shit.
323
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,443
Somebody blew the whistle and
they made an example out of me.
324
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,910
The players got
a slap on the wrist.
325
00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,481
I got fired, blackballed,
pretty much screwed.
326
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:38,117
Fuck. Weren't you married?
327
00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:41,420
Stayed married, for a while.
328
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,023
Took a job in my
father-in-law's lumber mill.
329
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:46,959
You want to test a marriage?
Work for your wife's father.
330
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:49,128
Dennis, I can help.
331
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,064
Don't.
332
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:54,933
I'm okay.
333
00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:59,038
Oda, don't give
up on this deal yet.
334
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:00,448
I'm telling you,
this is me talking,
335
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:01,883
Arliss Michaels, the
working man's friend.
336
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,842
Arliss, it was a crazy idea.
337
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,811
It's complete misigas.
338
00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:08,380
No, no, no, no, we're putting
somebody else on Wonder Boy.
339
00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,349
Look, look, I just
need a little more time.
340
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,684
For what?
341
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,285
Your client is dead
and so is the deal.
342
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,221
Now, what do you
want for Pokey Reese?
343
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,656
Look, Oda, don't...
344
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,492
I'll call you back.
345
00:14:21,593 --> 00:14:23,262
Mrs. Takega.
346
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:25,898
Hope it's okey-dokey
to visit so late.
347
00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:29,268
It's just, I need
someone to talk to.
348
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:32,438
Whatever I can
do to help, please.
349
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:36,775
When I heard about Tommy,
I was on a Smithsonian tour.
350
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:40,612
Take everything you've
ever heard about sphinxes
351
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:42,815
and multiply it by 40.
352
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:45,584
That's how grand they are.
353
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:49,321
Mute, mysterious...
354
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,990
erotic.
355
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,726
Erotic?
356
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,828
As executor,
357
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:58,764
your word is gonna have
a lot of weight in the court.
358
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,601
So I thought that we...
359
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:06,338
you and I, could
work something out.
360
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,674
Well, the Wonder Boy
deal is still pending.
361
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:14,580
Ah. You seem like the
wonder boy to me, Mr. Michaels.
362
00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:18,684
Well, you know, normally I
commission between 10 and 15 percent.
363
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,553
You deserve 20, big ones.
364
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:22,805
20? That's really great.
365
00:15:22,806 --> 00:15:23,989
(chuckles)
366
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,831
By the by, did you
procure the ashes?
367
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:34,299
The ashes?
368
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:35,701
Yeah, yeah, I got 'em.
369
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,003
You go get them for me?
370
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,639
Oh, sure, I'll procure
them for you right now.
371
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,174
Just wait here.
372
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,982
Ashes, ashes, ashes, ashes.
373
00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:54,453
Ashes, ashes, ashes. Shit.
374
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,524
Urn, urn.
375
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,058
Ashes need an urn.
376
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:11,804
Arliss, I need to see you.
377
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:14,406
Roberta, of course,
come on in. Come on in.
378
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,874
Quickly, quickly, quickly.
379
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,245
So I don't know if you knew...
380
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:23,482
perhaps you could
tell by my diction
381
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:24,983
that I'm an actress.
382
00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,252
I'm not surprised.
383
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,987
Mr. Michaels...
384
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:31,423
do you think you could help me?
385
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,193
Of course I'll help you.
386
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,795
But concerning the
Wonder Boy deal,
387
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,698
do you think 25 percent
would be reasonable?
388
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:42,868
For a man as dedicated
as you, Mr. Michaels,
389
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,404
I'd be willing to
offer 30 percent.
390
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,605
Mmm.
391
00:16:47,739 --> 00:16:49,241
With a bonus.
392
00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:53,345
30 percent, that's very
generous of you, oh! Oh!
393
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:55,714
Is that my phone? Would you
excuse me? I'll be right back.
394
00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:01,987
(mutters) Oh, Jesus Christ.
395
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,489
30 percent.
396
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:06,592
(blows)
397
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,730
Here's... Tommy!
398
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,534
I knew I could count on you.
399
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,870
I can count on you, can't I?
400
00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:21,139
Of course you can.
401
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,343
But... I just realized
402
00:17:24,409 --> 00:17:28,113
there were some other expenses
in the Wonder Boy account
403
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,481
that I hadn't counted on.
404
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,950
Would you mind terribly if my
commission was 35 percent?
405
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:34,786
Ooh, the price is rising.
406
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:37,689
Is there anything
else rising as well?
407
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,525
Ooh, you make a good point.
408
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:42,995
I'll go check the
thermostat. Be right back.
409
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:51,103
Arliss, I hope we don't
have any further interruptions.
410
00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:53,071
I'm anxious to
consummate our deal.
411
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:55,841
Could we consummate to
the tune of maybe 40 percent?
412
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,943
Sure, get out your pen and sign.
413
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,845
Ooh, hold that thought.
414
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,815
Arliss, I believe in mixing
business with pleasure.
415
00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:05,984
Think of me as
your pleas-du-jour.
416
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:08,186
Oh, I do. Do you think
of me at 45 percent?
417
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,321
You whore!
418
00:18:10,455 --> 00:18:11,456
Who you talking to?
419
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:12,457
Both of you!
420
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,226
Who are you calling "whore"?
421
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,427
- Slut!
- Bitch!
422
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,829
Ladies, ladies, would Tommy
have wanted it this way?
423
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:19,698
I'll see you in court.
424
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,400
We don't have to go to court!
425
00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,402
There's plenty enough to
go around for everybody.
426
00:18:23,468 --> 00:18:25,671
C'mon, ladies, can't
we work this out?
427
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:28,307
Fuck you!
428
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:33,145
Oh, I bet Morocco is
lovely this time of year.
429
00:18:33,211 --> 00:18:35,714
How many miles would I
need for a first-class ticket?
430
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,783
(chuckles) Go for it.
431
00:18:37,849 --> 00:18:39,985
Now with two nights at the Ritz,
432
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:43,789
would I have enough miles
left over for a stopover in...
433
00:18:43,855 --> 00:18:44,923
Crete?
434
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:45,991
(clears throat)
435
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,526
Can I help you?
436
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,828
It's funny you should say that.
437
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,531
'Cause I've been thinking
a lot about helping,
438
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:55,767
and it's like that expression,
you know? "Can I help you?"
439
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:58,770
We say that all the time,
but do we really mean it?
440
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:00,672
Yes.
441
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:03,642
Yes, I've always wanted
to go to the Greek isles.
442
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,611
Remaining balance?
443
00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,479
34 miles.
444
00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:09,548
Th... that's okay,
just let them accrue.
445
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,316
- Thank you. (sighs)
- (phone clicks)
446
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:12,784
Going on a trip, huh?
447
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:15,253
A whirlwind tour, six stops.
448
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,589
I'm gonna use up all
my saved vacation days.
449
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,058
The longest trip some
people get to take
450
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:21,526
is from one end
of LA to the other.
451
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:25,364
Kirby, I've got to take care of
all this estate business before...
452
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:27,032
Oh, jeez, 5:00.
453
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,002
He was my coach, Rita.
454
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,170
You know, I really feel
like I should do something.
455
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,906
I was gonna talk to Arliss
to see if he could help.
456
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:36,375
Arliss isn't here.
457
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:37,643
Shit!
458
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:39,411
I've gotta go. Good luck.
459
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,880
Do you know where Arliss is?
460
00:19:43,548 --> 00:19:45,450
Oy. Tommy,
461
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:48,186
Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.
462
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,390
You never gave me this much
trouble when you were alive.
463
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:53,325
You were one of the good ones.
464
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:56,895
You were an ideal client.
I'm sorry I killed you.
465
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,806
But it was an accident.
You know it was an accident.
466
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,399
- You were there.
- (phone ringing)
467
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:02,434
Hold on, don't go
anywhere. (sighs)
468
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:03,769
- (beeps)
- Arliss Michaels.
469
00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:06,204
Arliss, listen, it
was Dennis I saw,
470
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,839
and he's really
down on his luck.
471
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,041
We've gotta help him.
472
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,175
Yeah, sure.
473
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:11,677
And before you say no...
474
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,614
- We can?
- Yeah, we only go around this way once.
475
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,182
Let's help him.
476
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:18,950
Th... thanks, Arliss.
477
00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:20,252
Thanks a lot.
478
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,155
- (beeps)
- (sighs)
479
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:25,323
Jesus, where was I?
480
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,459
I'm sorry I killed you, and...
481
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,270
oh, I know, how the hell'd
you handle this thing?
482
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:31,263
I mean, that was
quite a stable you kept.
483
00:20:31,329 --> 00:20:33,632
I mean, what do I do? I
wish you were here now.
484
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:35,133
I feel the same way.
485
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:37,836
You don't quit.
486
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,473
You know, you're the only one
who comes to see Tommy here.
487
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,008
It's no surprise.
488
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,876
He spoke about you all the time.
489
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:46,244
I appreciate the kind words.
490
00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:48,480
But, frankly, if this is
about representation...
491
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:50,248
No, it's not.
492
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,818
Well... maybe it is...
493
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:55,821
in a way.
494
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:02,160
Ladies, meet Luis Sanchez,
495
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:04,730
the inheritor of Tommy's
Takega's estate.
496
00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:06,715
What?
497
00:21:06,716 --> 00:21:08,633
My husband had a husband?
498
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:09,801
That's right.
499
00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:12,471
And your husband's
husband is the sole beneficiary
500
00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:15,407
of Tommy's last last
will and testament.
501
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:16,641
I don't believe it.
502
00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:17,843
It's disgusting!
503
00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:20,245
It's on file in Vermont.
504
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:23,014
Tommy wasn't a fag. No offense.
505
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:25,751
I'm sorry, he loved both of you.
506
00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:27,652
But on a physical plane...
507
00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:29,654
the passion just wasn't there.
508
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,356
Oh, spare me.
509
00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:32,891
So we're gettin' nothin'?
510
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,493
No, no, no, not
at all, not at all.
511
00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:36,728
Luis, being a sensitive
and generous spouse,
512
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,097
has decided to offer
you other spouses
513
00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:41,500
the payout from Tommy's
life insurance policy.
514
00:21:41,566 --> 00:21:42,968
Which is worth?
515
00:21:43,034 --> 00:21:45,474
A lot more than the "Enquirer"
will pay for opening your mouth.
516
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:47,339
I'm not taking this lying down.
517
00:21:47,405 --> 00:21:49,207
Me neither. We're gonna fight.
518
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:52,210
Oh, contest this and you
might wind up with nothing.
519
00:21:52,277 --> 00:21:53,545
I mean, come on.
520
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,046
Do you really want it coming out
521
00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:57,282
that Tommy was a
bigamist... trigamist
522
00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:58,650
who rode side saddle?
523
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,987
How's it gonna make you look?
524
00:22:02,053 --> 00:22:04,322
Ladies, come on,
this is a win-win.
525
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:05,390
What do you say?
526
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:11,396
Luis, when you and Tommy
used to, you know, fool around,
527
00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:13,565
did he do the nine?
528
00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:16,968
Ugh!
529
00:22:17,035 --> 00:22:18,315
Woman on P.A.:
Mr. Roger Bentz...
530
00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:21,740
Morocco, Crete, Paris, Milan?
531
00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:24,309
You're going on quite a trip.
532
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,044
I'll need to see a photo ID.
533
00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:28,780
♪ ♪
534
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:34,653
Thank you, Ms. Takega.
535
00:22:34,719 --> 00:22:36,822
Mrs. Takega.
536
00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:39,324
♪ ♪
537
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:40,792
Alright!
538
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,460
What a ride!
539
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:45,764
I just got on board,
and he did the rest.
540
00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:47,165
Announcer: Wonder Boy...
541
00:22:47,232 --> 00:22:48,333
Natsuhama's latest
542
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,368
all-purpose lawn
maintenance vehicle.
543
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:51,570
Yeah! All right!
544
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:53,605
Announcer: This
commercial was shot in India.
545
00:22:53,672 --> 00:22:55,841
Mmm. Tommy looks good.
546
00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:59,010
Arliss, only you could raise
the dead to cut the grass.
547
00:22:59,077 --> 00:23:02,280
Now, my friend, what do
you want for Albert Belle?
548
00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:05,884
I hear India is the second
leading producer of motion pictures.
549
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:09,387
India? They'll need
blondes. I'm a natural blonde.
550
00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:11,156
We all are, honey.
551
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,860
Arliss, thank you for
taking me on as a client.
552
00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:18,330
Luis, I think this is the
beginning of a beautiful friendship.
553
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:21,066
(chuckles) Mmm.
554
00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:24,603
Arliss: My name
is Arliss Michaels.
555
00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:26,705
I represent athletes.
556
00:23:26,771 --> 00:23:28,807
These are my stories.
557
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:31,443
♪ ...through the night ♪
558
00:23:31,509 --> 00:23:35,513
♪ We must avenge the innocent ♪
559
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:39,150
♪ So their souls
can sleep tonight ♪
560
00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:40,585
♪ And ever more ♪
561
00:24:17,756 --> 00:24:19,524
♪ Please say a prayer ♪
562
00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:21,760
♪ For my Ma and Pa ♪
563
00:24:21,826 --> 00:24:23,194
♪ 'Cause you know I won't ♪
564
00:24:23,261 --> 00:24:25,430
♪ See them again ♪
565
00:24:25,497 --> 00:24:27,999
♪ Lord, give me strength ♪
566
00:24:28,066 --> 00:24:30,068
♪ To erase my foe ♪
567
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:31,336
♪ So that we may ♪
568
00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:33,104
♪ All live free again ♪
569
00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:34,606
♪ And again, and again ♪
40632
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