All language subtitles for movieddl.me_Arliss.S05E11.You.Can.Pick.Your.Friends.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

♪ ♪

Arliss: For most of us,

the dream of
becoming a champion,

remains a fantasy.

But, for a special few,

it is very much a reality.

We cheer them,

we live through them.

Athletes are our last warriors.

My job is to make
their dreams come true.

My name is Arliss Michaels,

I represent athletes.

These are my stories.

♪ I don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪

♪ I only know I never
wanna let you go ♪

♪ 'Cause you started
something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪

♪ It happens to be true ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

♪ I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪

♪ As long as we're
together, honey, I don't care ♪

♪ 'Cause you started
something oh, can't you see ♪

♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪

♪ No matter what you do ♪

♪ I only wanna be with you ♪

I remember, man.

I mean, I was running,

And I was cutting.

And the clock was ticking.

And then, my knee
started to go on me.

And I didn't know
if I could make it.

Then, Lee Marvin
started cussing at me.

(laughter)

So, I did another take.

And that was the one
they used in the movie.

Wow.

And that gutsy performance
in "The Dirty Dozen"

is what launched Jim
Brown's film career,

leading to roles
in such classics as,

"Three the Hard
Way," "Crack House,"

and, most recently,
"Any Given Sunday".

(applause)

Thank you, thank you.

I haven't seen
one of those films.

You've never seen,
"The Dirty Dozen?"

No. That's un-American.

Yo, this is from that

fine looking young
lady sitting in the back.

"Hi, thanks for
the drink last night

at the Chateau Royale."

Who's she? I have no idea.

I haven't been to the
Chateau Royale in months.

Before we move on to the clips,

let's take a moment to
acknowledge some of the people

who've helped prepare
this retrospective for Jim.

The world's largest
concessionaire,

Mr. Walter M. Clevens. Walter.

(applause)

Jim, you've given
me years of pleasure,

both on the screen and
especially in ballparks

that sold Walter M.
Clevens food and beverage.

- So, as a small token of
my appreciation, - (laughter)

The Touchdown dogs and
Blitzburgers are on the house!

- Jim: Alright. (chuckle)
- (applause)

Oh, and thank you
very much, Mr. Clevens.

And I would like to
thank Arliss Michaels,

my very good friend and agent,

for putting on such
a wonderful event.

(applause)

Jim, not only are you

the greatest running back
that ever played the game,

but you're also a
damn fine actor,

who's appeared in
over 30 motion pictures.

Well then, Mr. Michaels, you
must have really appreciated

the verisimilitude of his
appearance in "Any Given Sunday".

Oh, absolutely. I thought
Jim stole the picture.

Proving, once again,

that athletes can
cross over into acting.

Well, sure, look at former
Giants great, Lawrence Taylor.

He was in the same film.

Bad example, I
thought L.T. sucked.

(laughter)

("Take Me Out To
The Ballgame" ringtone)

(beep)

Kirby Carlisle.

- ♪ ♪
- You know those expense reports I've been asking you about

Every day for the
last two weeks?

Yeah, can I call you back?

They're about to
screen "Crack House."

I need them. Now.

Okay, okay. I've
seen it twice anyway.

Oh, oh, and pick me up
some lunch, would you?

Something nutritious.

No problem.

Oy.

We're proud to award Jim Brown

the Motion Picture Institute's

Lifetime Achievement Award.

Jim, congratulations.

(applause)

Thank you, thank you very much.

Jim: Yeah!

- (crunching sound)
- ♪ ♪

- Arliss, get up.
- I can't!

Come on. I haven't seen
any of his movies, I'm standing.

No, I mean, I can't!
My back, it's out!

His back is out.

What?

- Okay, hold on...
- Don't touch it, don't touch it!

Ow!

Oh, oh, oh!

Relax. Is that better?

D-d-don't touch it, I
know exactly what it is.

It's "L5 S1." What?

"L5 S1," it's my vertebrae.
It runs in my family.

Everybody's got a bad back.

That explains why you
never pick up any checks.

(phone ringing)

Arliss Michaels' office.

Ryan Klesko.

Yo, Ryan, what's up?

Arliss, why'd you dis me?

What?

I was at the Chateau Royale
with Amy and her parents.

I waved to you, and
you just blew me off.

I haven't been to
the Chateau Royale!

You blew me off!

The least my agent can
do is say hello to my family.

Ryan, I didn't blow
you off. Listen...

No.

Ryan? Ry... Shit.

(hangs up phone)

(sigh) Help me up.

This is nutritious?

Hey, it's got lettuce,
ketchup, a pickle...

Fat, cholesterol,
bleached flour...

Oh, and it's stone cold!

Oh, you know, if
you don't want it...

I didn't say that.

(crunching sound)

Ah! What?

- ♪ ♪
- Ah!

Jesus Christ!

- It's a ring!
- Let me see that.

Oh! "To Elroy, for
20 years' service.

Walter M. Clevens."

I could have swallowed that!

I'm calling Clevens'
corporate headquarters.

Wait a minute, put
that phone down. Why?

If you call Walter Clevens now,

you'll get an apology,
maybe 10 Blitzburgers.

On the other hand,
it's a pretty small ring.

What are you suggesting?

You swallow it.

What!?

Walter Clevens is the biggest
concessionaire in sports.

And I can guarantee
you, they will settle this

for a lot of money
just to keep it quiet.

Listen, this is the
chance of a lifetime.

Don't let it pass.

That's just what I'm afraid of.

That it won't pass.

Stanley, this is your
chance to hit the jackpot.

To make your wildest
dreams come true.

My wildest dreams?

(French music)

♪ ♪

Kirby's voice: Stanley,

it's your digestive system.

If you don't want to
do it, I can understand.

It's a crazy idea.

Om!

(laughing)

(gagging) ♪ ♪

(choking)

Okay, okay, I get 33 percent.

Agreed, agreed? (choking)

Okay!

He's choking! Someone's
choking in here!

- Stanley, Stanley!
- Oh my God, Stanley!

He swallowed something
that was in his Blitzburger!

A hamburger, I don't
know what it was!

No, no, no! I know the
Heimlich maneuver! I'll get it out!

No, no, no, that's
too dangerous!

He's got to swallow it!

- Swallow! Swallow!
- (cries of pain)

Swallow the fucking thing!

Ah! Oh! Oh!

Stanley, are you alright?

No, he's not alright,

this man just swallowed
a foreign object!

I gotta get him to
the doctor right now!

Stanley!? (groaning in pain)

(phone ringing)

Ow... Stanley Babson's office.

Yes, one moment, please.

Arliss, it's the manager
to the Chateau Royale.

He needs to talk to you!

Arliss Michaels.

Mr. Michaels, it's Martin
from the Chateau Royale.

I just wanted to know
if the suits you ordered

should be delivered to
your room or your office?

Hold on a second,
the suits that I ordered?

The double breasted
Armani and the formal Brioni.

Martin, I didn't
order any suits.

Sorry, Mr. Michaels, but
your name is on the account.

It's not possible. Are
you sure it's my name?

Yes, I recognize the signature.

My signa...

♪ ♪

Martin, I'll get
back to you, okay?

Man: Leave some extra
ice and glasses, my man.

I never know when
I'm gonna get lucky.

And, uh, here's a little
something for your trouble.

Still playing big shot, Archie?

How are you, big brother?

So, uh, what am
I looking at here?

A four page Mastercard bill?

Five pages?

Oh.

I think this little
family reunion

could use some lubrication.

Drink?

Seeing as I'm buying, no.

So, how long have you been here?

Five days. Five days.

I'm gonna need two more.

I have a most
auspicious opportunity.

You know what I have in here?

I don't want to know.

Security. Financial security.

Some entrepreneurial Russians

are gonna pay me top
ruble for what I have in here.

You're fucking with the
Russian mob. Are you nuts?

(laughing) No, no,
these guys are legit.

Oh, sure they are.

Look, Archie, I don't know what
scam you're pulling this time,

but I don't want you
using me, understand?

I'm not using you, Pudge.

Right. You just have
these pictures lying around

because you miss me so much.

Look, so I have some photos
around to boost my cache.

That handsome Michaels'
face is going to elevate prices.

- You should be flattered.
- Flattered?

Pudge, listen... No, you listen.

I want you out of here
by tomorrow, understand?

And don't call me Pudge.

Just let me close this deal.

By tomorrow, otherwise
I blow the whistle.

You remember Mexico, don't you?

(traffic sounds)

♪ ♪

Ah!

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's stuck.

Yeah, right there,
right there. Oh!

See? You're not
trying hard enough!

You gotta do some jumping jacks.

Huh? C'mon, c'mon.

Last night, I had a dream

that a rhinestone was
protruding from my navel.

And a vendor named Elroy,
who was missing a finger,

reached in and plucked it out.

Yeah, well, check this out.

This here says that the
Walter M. Clevens Corporation

is a billion and a
half dollar company

that sells concessions
in 140 ballparks.

It's a public company,
they got shareholders.

Believe me, he does not
want this thing to come out.

(stomach gurgling)

Oh, my God.

Yes?

Oh, my God!

Go, go, go! Oh, my God!

Go, go, go!

Yes, yes!

You're coming with me.

Me? What do you need me for?

You want that 33%?
You're gonna earn it.

Oh, my God!

How's it going, Ronnie?

(laughter)

Rita: Arliss actually was
stuck in the garbage can?

Tell us more!

More what?

Oh, hey Pudge,

I was just telling
Rita and everybody

about how you got
your nickname, Pudge.

Archie was telling us stories
about when you were growing up.

Explains a lot.

Yeah, Archie's real
good at telling stories.

♪ ♪

Hey, Rita, we're expecting
some company in an hour.

Can you keep the
conference room free?

Free for...?

Our smoking gun.

Ugh, am I smoking.

You got it out?

No I passed it, he got it out.

Ew!

Wait a minute.

You swallowed that with food?

You're gonna sue, right?

Oh yeah, it's gonna
make us millions.

Well, listen, you can
make a whole lot more

if you keep that thing
stuck in your guts.

Archie, would you mind
waiting for me in my office?

I'll be right there.
No, it's fine.

I'll just make myself at home.

Excuse us, we've
gotta go get ready.

Ow...

(laughs) I love your brother!

Yeah, that's 'cause
he's not your brother.

Trust me, he's a phony.

Oh, c'mon, I think
he's charming.

Oh, he's charming, alright.

Charming enough to cost
me $30,000 in a land deal,

$40,000 for selling
fake purified water,

and $157,000 to make up for
what he embezzled from my clients.

Oh, boy.

Now, he's dealing
with the Russians.

You know, the last time he
called me, he was in Mexico,

fencing phony Prada purses.

Wanted $5,000
to buy off the cops.

I said enough is enough.

Thought if he spent
a night or two in jail,

it might do him some good.

Do him some good?

Yeah, guess it didn't work.

I ask you to leave town,
you come into my office.

You got balls.

I was just wanting to
talk to my big brother.

Yeah, well I'm busy. Talk fast.

This Russian thing's
gonna be huge.

Yeah. If they
don't kill you first.

They're legit.

Seriously. (chuckles)

When I cash in, I'm gonna
pay you back everything.

"Everything."

Everything.

This is gonna be an
Arliss-caliber score.

You know how you make an
Arliss-caliber score, Archie?

You work your ass
off. You don't bullshit.

You think I'm
always bullshitting.

- Yeah, I do!
- ♪ ♪

You thought I was bullshitting
when I called you from Juarez,

asking for five grand
to pay off the cops.

Well, actually, I didn't
think you were bullshitting.

I was thinking I
wasn't gonna pay it.

A couple nights in jail
might teach you a lesson.

Yeah, except it
wasn't a couple nights.

It was four months.

When I couldn't come
up with the five grand

that I promised the Federales,

they, uh, got creative
with the charges.

Four months?

For five lousy grand, I
could have walked away

from that piss-hole prison.

But you had to play
daddy, didn't you?

Wanted to teach me a lesson.

Well, you know what I learned
in Mexican prison, big brother?

I learned how to cover up,

so they'd beat my
arms instead of my head.

I learned to eat cockroaches.

I learned abuse.

You know...

Maybe I pulled some
shit that I shouldn't have.

And maybe, I was a
disappointment to you.

But, there's one thing I know.

If that had been my
brother down there,

I'd have gotten him out.

Arch... Sorry to bother you.

And don't worry about the
hotel, I'm checking out tonight.

Mr. Clevens, do you
know what this is?

Of course, I do.

It's a commemorative ring

we give to long-time
employees of Walter M. Clevens.

Looks like it's been
through the mill.

Unfortunately, it wasn't
the mill it went through.

This ring was in one
of your Blitzburgers.

And it was swallowed
by Mr. Babson.

I guess Blitzburger
provides the daily

recommended allowance
of cubic zirconium.

We sincerely apologize
for any inconvenience,

and we'd like to offer
you a gift certificate

for a free dozen Blitzburgers.

(exaggerated gag)

A dozen Blitzburgers?

We want $10 million.

Oh, you listen to
me, you little pissant...

Walter, your blood pressure.

McDonald's paid seven million
for making their coffee too hot!

Your food was poisoned!

My food is not poisoned!

(exaggerated groaning)

Walter, maybe we should settle.

Oh, settle nothing.

I'll not be blackmailed
by this vermin!

There will be a
full-scale investigation

into what really goes
into ballpark food!

Like the ingredients
in cotton candy,

Or Frosty Malts.

That goo you pass off
as cheese in the nachos?

That green shit you
got on snow cones.

Now you hear me...

I will drop dead before
I pay you $10 million!

- Walter, easy.
- I will drop dead...

(gasping)

Oh, don't act sick.

- It's a fair offer.
- Walter!

Quick, call a paramedic!

Oh, my God!

Not so fast.

Do we have a deal or don't we?

Archie: So, Arliss knew that I
was a crazy Joe Namath fan,

and he took me to the
Jets/Raiders championship game.

Now, I'm like nine, I guess
that'd make Arliss twelve.

Anyway, we're there in
Shea, we're in the upper deck,

in the open end of
the stadium, right?

And it's about five below.

The coldest I've
ever been in my life.

Arliss hugged me up like
that, so we'd stay warm.

Oh, he hugged you.
That is so sweet.

My feet were so cold,

he poured hot chocolate
down in my shoes

just to get some
feeling back. (laughing)

Anyway, in the fourth
quarter, the Raiders go up,

and I start to cry.

I just can't stand the
thoughts of losing.

And Arliss promised
me, he guaranteed me,

the Jets were gonna come
back and win the game.

And they did.

We were screaming,
dancing, shouting.

I don't think we've
ever been that close.

And, um...

how did I pay him back?

The next week, I stole
his Daniel Boone hat.

His what?

Daniel Boone was his
favorite television show.

He'd sing the theme song,
wearing his coonskin hat.

That was his prized procession.

But, there was this
girl I wanted to impress,

and I gave it to her.

I don't think he's ever
forgiven me for that.

Did you really embezzle
the money from his clients?

That's not what it
was intended for.

But, uh...

I was involved with
some dubious people,

and I had some gambling debts.

No, I shouldn't have
risked losing that money.

But, you did.

Yeah, but in two hours I can
pay Arliss back everything.

Another sure thing?

No dubious people, I hope.

You know, Rita, I really
don't need a lecture from you.

I know exactly what
I'm doing, but thanks.

- And thanks for the drink.
- Archie, that wasn't what I meant.

I was... You Arliss Michaels?

- ♪ dramatic music ♪
- What if I am?

I'm Lawrence Taylor,

and who the hell are you
to critique my performance?

Well...

What the fuck you talking about?

Film critics of America

put me on the
honorable mention list.

- Well...
- L.T., when Arliss said that he was joking...

- It wasn't an... oh!
- Rita...

Jeffrey Lyons, he called
my performance rhapsodic,

poignant.

Get the fuck out of my face.

L.T., you're mistaken
because this isn't even...

Oh! Oh, oh, oh God. Okay.

So, you want to
be a critic, huh?

Sorry ass motherf...

I told you to get
out of my face...

(crunching)

What happened?

It's my back.

I've thrown out my back.

I didn't do nothing!

I can't move.

(painful grunt)

Let me guess, "L5 S1?"

I'll take you to the hospital.

I ordered you a
salad, ranch dressing,

chicken Kiev, an order of
chocolate bread pudding.

Actually two, I
haven't eaten anything.

Thanks, Rita, but I'm not
staying long enough for dinner.

I've gotta get... ow!

Don't move!

What the hell happened?

Lawrence Taylor gave a
riveting and poignant performance

as someone pissed
off with Arliss Michaels.

Oh, shit.

I got you an egg cream.

Where the hell'd you
get an egg cream in LA?

Hey, I've got my sources.

Also some Bazooka.

Comic books!

Uh, Superman, Batman, Aquaman.

They didn't have Fantastic Four.

So, um...

What are they giving you?

Medrol Dosepak,

- Halcion, Vicodin.
- Halcion, Vicodin, yeah.

They want to give him an MRI.

Possibly, an epidural.

I can't stay here long enough
for an MRI! I've gotta get...

Ow! Stay down!

Don't move!

Arliss, the deal
goes down tonight.

With the Russians? Mm-hmm.

You're better off.
Stay here, don't worry.

They flew into this country
specifically for this meeting.

Shit.

I've gotta get to that suitcase.

I can't disappoint these guys.

He can't go anywhere.

Well, can't you just put it
off for a of couple days?

How well do you know them?

We phone, we fax. I've
never met them face to face.

♪ ♪

You've never met
them face to face?

No... Oh!

What's in it?

I don't know.

Weapons, drugs, plutonium.

This is so exciting.

I feel like The Spy Who
Came In From The Cold.

(knocking)

Okay, don't say a
word. Just stand there,

Look intimidating, impenetrable.

Good luck.

Hello, Mr. Michaels.

(speaking Russian)

Look, c'mon in! Make
yourself at home.

You don't mind if I keep
the door open, do you?

Get a little ventilation
going on in here.

(door slams shut)

Hey, can I offer
anybody a drink?

(speaking Russian)

Vodka would be sufficient.

Ah...

Vodka!

Arliss: Milk from
the motherland.

Smirnoff.

Stoli!

Kahlua-ski!

So, how are things
in Russia these days?

Kremlin going crazy.

Arresting everybody. Stupid!

Yeah, well things aren't
so great here either.

But, they're getting better!

Unless they get worse.

And then,

for no apparent reason,

inexplicably, things change.

(speaking Russian)

Don't even think it, guys.

She's silent, but lethal.

Licensed to kill.

And she's the only one
who has the combination.

And so...

Have you what we want?

We have you what you want.

Oh.

(locks click)

(speaking Russian)

(hiss)

Ah...

We've been waiting
for this a long time.

And now we have it.

Endless supply.

Nothing can stop us now.

(Daniel Boone theme)

♪ ♪

Arliss, are those...

Daniel Boone hats?

Yeah, it's big hit
now in Russian TV.

Everybody want one.

You want hat?

He's got hats! He's got hats!

Together: It's Crazy Vanya!

"Crazy Vanya."

"Crazy Vanya."

♪ Daniel Boone was a man ♪

♪ Yes, a real man ♪

♪ And he fought for America
to make all Americans free... ♪

Not only did they
meet your price,

but then, when I
told them I can get

Jim Brown to endorse the caps,

they kicked in
another 200 grand.

No! Yeah!

(laughing)

But how do you know Jim Brown?

He retired 30 years ago.

Yeah, but ESPN Classic
sports is airing there now,

and he's leading
the league in rushing.

(laughing)

Thanks, Pudge.

No problem, Scooter.

♪ ♪

Hey, hey, hey,
Archie! How you doing?

Not too bad, how are you guys?

How are we? We heard
from Clevens' lawyers.

And they are willing
to settle for $8 million!

Eight million!?

Eight million smackaroos!

Kirby, perhaps you should
take a look at this fortune.

"Do not practice deceit.
The truth shall set you free."

He doesn't practice deceit.

He's an expert.

(laughing)

So, how'd you guys work it?

How'd we work it? I made
Stanley swallow the ring.

And now Clevens is
coughing up the cash.

And we are doing the
backstroke! Oh yeah!

♪ ♪

You fed him the ring!?

Charlatans! You get nothing!

Nothing, but my hands
around your neck!

It was him, it was him!

I'll kill you, I'll kill you!

Whoa!

You're behind this, Michaels!

- You're behind this!
- Me? What did I do?

(crunching)

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh no, not again.

- Oh! Rita, Rita!
- (Daniel Boone theme)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, an "L5 S1."

I'll get the nurse.

Oh God, oh God. Move
over. Move over. Yeah.

Move. Come on.

Go on. Get in here. Oh! Oh!

(hyperventilating)

Try to relax. Breathe. Breathe.

Here, let's read something here.

What is it? What is it?

Oh, Batman.

Yeah, did you see the movies?

Yeah, the first one was
good, the other ones sucked.

♪ Daniel Boone was a man ♪

Arliss: My name
is Arliss Michaels.

Archie: My name
is Archie Michaels.

Together: This was our story.

♪ ... Was he ♪

♪ Daniel Boone was a man ♪

♪ Yes, a big man ♪

♪ He was brave,
he was fearless ♪

♪ And as tough as
a mighty oak tree ♪

♪ From the coonskin
cap on the top of ol' Dan ♪

♪ To the heel of
his rawhide shoe ♪

♪ The rippin'est,
roarin'est, fightin'est man ♪

♪ The frontier ever knew ♪

♪ Daniel Boone was a man ♪

♪ Yes, a big man ♪

♪ What a boon, what a doer ♪

♪ What a dream come-a truer ♪

♪ Was he ♪

(newscast music)

♪ ♪

Jeffrey Lyons: This is Jeffrey
Lyons with the movie review.

"Any Given Sunday"
is a formulaic,

but effectively
done football movie

starring Al Pacino as
an aging NFL coach,

slow to adjust to the
changes in the game

and the men who play it.

Jamie Foxx is one of
his stars on the team,

who has some
learning to do himself,

and his character
evolves convincingly.

But, the standout in the movie

is former Giants
linebacker, Lawrence Taylor,

who gives a performance
that can only be described as

rhapsodic and poignant.

He plays an
injury-plagued linebacker

trying to prolong his career.

And the ironies afoot

with casting old number
56 in that role are abundant.

Pacino is over the
top, when it's called for,

and "Any Given Sunday,"

while breaking no new
ground in the genre,

is still an absorbing,
powerfully performed drama

about football, and the short
careers of the men who play it.