Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:09,275
♪ ♪
2
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,792
(Arliss narrates)
For most of us,
3
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,882
the dream of becoming a champion
4
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,517
remains a fantasy.
5
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:20,453
But for a special few,
6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,056
it is very much a reality.
7
00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:24,257
We cheer them.
8
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,992
We live through them.
9
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,628
Athletes are our last warriors.
10
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,599
My job is to make
their dreams come true.
11
00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:34,317
(water splashes)
12
00:00:34,318 --> 00:00:35,969
My name is Arliss Michaels,
13
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:38,004
I represent athletes.
14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,639
These are my stories.
15
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:43,309
♪ Don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪
16
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,913
♪ I only know I never
wanna let you go ♪
17
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,550
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
18
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:54,254
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
19
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,557
♪ It happens to be true ♪
20
00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:01,227
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
21
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:04,797
♪ I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪
22
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:08,668
♪ As long as we're
together, honey, I don't care ♪
23
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,071
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
24
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:15,375
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
25
00:01:15,441 --> 00:01:19,112
♪ No matter what you do ♪
26
00:01:19,178 --> 00:01:22,348
♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
27
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:26,986
DJ on radio: This is the
fourth straight day of rain in LA.
28
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:30,290
When is this El Nino
ever gonna end?
29
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:31,796
(Arliss narrates)
For most Americans,
30
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,860
going to work
every day is a chore,
31
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,396
but let us not forget
that these Americans
32
00:01:36,462 --> 00:01:39,032
are the backbone of our society.
33
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,401
Who are they? The every man,
34
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:44,137
the working stiff,
the common Joe.
35
00:01:44,203 --> 00:01:45,939
I for one never sit in judgment
36
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:48,908
and never look down upon him.
37
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,277
Señor Arliss, with
all this El Nino,
38
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:52,922
you think the Dodgers
are gonna play tonight?
39
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,948
(Arliss narrates) He's
the one I pay attention to.
40
00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:57,383
0 for 3, damn.
41
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,785
Okay, I'm all done.
42
00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:00,731
I don't want to keep a
busy man from being busy.
43
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,488
You done, Kekee?
44
00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:04,023
Hey, let me ask you something.
45
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,659
Livan Hernandez,
he comes from Cuba.
46
00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:08,328
He makes $4.6 million.
47
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:10,830
- Uh-huh.
- Orlando Hernandez, he comes from Cuba.
48
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,699
He makes $6.6 million.
49
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:14,834
Are they worth it?
50
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,636
Well, it's not a
question of worth.
51
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:19,138
It's a question of
fair market value.
52
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:20,807
See, these careers
aren't very long.
53
00:02:20,873 --> 00:02:22,375
You gotta seize the opportunity,
54
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,320
because let me tell ya,
when they don't want you,
55
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,512
they're not gonna
pay you dollar one.
56
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:27,880
What do I owe you?
57
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:29,916
Same as always, three dollars.
58
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,217
Right.
59
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,656
Thank you.
60
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,524
Señor Arliss, I
have a gift for you.
61
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:39,859
For me?
62
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:42,962
Bolivar. Habana.
63
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,231
My cousin, he sends them to me.
64
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:48,034
He says they sell
here for $40 apiece.
65
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:51,204
I give it to you, Mr. Arliss.
66
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:54,140
(Arliss narrates) It's the little
guy I take the extra time with...
67
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:55,575
Thanks, Kekee.
68
00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:58,277
Give the extra buck to.
69
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,079
By the way, after
commissions and taxes,
70
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:02,849
that six million dollars
is really only three.
71
00:03:02,915 --> 00:03:04,217
Three million dollars.
72
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:06,653
Oh, yeah. (sniffs)
Taxes will kill you.
73
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:08,087
Tell me about it.
74
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,056
Ah! Kekee, two things I know:
75
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,891
Never make the
last out at third base,
76
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,526
and you don't fuck...
77
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,728
with the IRS, Mr. Carlisle.
78
00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,697
I must say, Mr. Carlisle,
79
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,701
your deduction-to-income
ratio is truly astounding.
80
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:22,969
(chuckles) Thank you.
81
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,772
Ms. Slocomb,
82
00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:28,374
if Mr. Carlisle made those
expenditures in the pursuit,
83
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:32,078
maintenance or
benefit of a client,
84
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,446
then they are fully deductible.
85
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:35,314
I know the code, Mr. Babson,
86
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,184
and certain write-offs
are obviously legitimate...
87
00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:40,119
"Sporting News,"
"Baseball Weekly."
88
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:42,522
I try to keep tabs on all
the hot young prospects.
89
00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:44,223
But explain the deductions
90
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,060
for "Penthouse,"
"Jism," and "Bang."
91
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:52,065
A lot of our clients like
to date young models,
92
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:55,735
and I try to keep tabs on
all the hot young prospects.
93
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,305
Ms. Slocomb... Helen...
94
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,408
May I call you "Helen"?
95
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,443
You may not.
96
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:06,479
Ms. Slocomb, I've been an
associate of Mr. Carlisle's,
97
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:09,449
and while I agree his
methods may be unorthodox,
98
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,718
his intent most
certainly is not.
99
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:14,687
Mr. Babson, are you also
Mr. Carlisle's attorney?
100
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,123
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
101
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,359
Then please keep your
unsolicited opinions to yourself.
102
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:24,063
Mr. Carlisle, did you
bring along those receipts?
103
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,533
Yes, yes, I did.
104
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,035
(rustling)
105
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:41,013
(Arliss narrates) I
applaud the nine-to-fiver,
106
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,181
the civil servant.
107
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:45,384
Society profits when
everyone kicks in their fair share
108
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,286
and works for the greater good.
109
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,354
One more.
110
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:51,858
Jury duty?
111
00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:53,626
Who gives a shit
about jury duty?
112
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,228
I'm sorry, but if
I don't show up,
113
00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:56,562
they're gonna put me in jail.
114
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,830
What shoes should I wear?
115
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,699
Why didn't you use the letter?
116
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:00,900
These are way too expensive.
117
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,469
Bob Shapiro personally drafted
a "get out of jury duty" letter.
118
00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:05,171
It cost me two tickets
to the Final Four.
119
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,339
I forgot to mail it.
120
00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:09,041
Bob'll get you off.
He's handled worse.
121
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,043
Arliss, you have
a very easy day.
122
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,678
Now the temp is
due here any minute.
123
00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:15,114
All you have to do is follow
my simple instructions.
124
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,550
No. No, no, no, listen,
you can't. You can't.
125
00:05:19,685 --> 00:05:21,187
Where the hell is everybody?
126
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,722
Kirby and Stanley are in Fresno.
127
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,399
There are a couple of
nerds here from accounting,
128
00:05:24,423 --> 00:05:26,368
and everybody else is stuck at
home because of the monsoon.
129
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,561
"Monsoon." It's a little
drizzle. I made it here.
130
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:30,188
Yeah, from Brentwood,
five minutes away.
131
00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:32,674
The rest of the worker bees have
to commute in from the boonies.
132
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,867
- Well, you got here.
- I left my hive at 6:00 a.m.
133
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,435
- No, no, no, no.
- Bye.
134
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,337
No, you can't... I ke... Rita!
135
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:41,407
- (DJ speaks indistinctly)
- (thunder crashes)
136
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,977
(Arliss narrates) The truly outstanding
leader not only respects his minions,
137
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:47,013
but knows how to
perform the tasks
138
00:05:47,079 --> 00:05:49,015
of all those under his command.
139
00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:50,383
Son-of-a-bitch!
140
00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:52,249
What was so bad about
the fucking typewriters?
141
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,419
(phone rings)
142
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,188
AMM.
143
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,156
No, he's not here,
there's nobody here!
144
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,925
(phone rings)
145
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,626
AMM.
146
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,129
Yeah, I'm happy with
my long distance carrier!
147
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,601
(water dripping)
148
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,703
What the fuck is this?
149
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,805
What the fuck is this?
150
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:17,076
Oh. Son-of-a-bitch.
151
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:24,917
Jesus!
152
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,021
Hello! I'm Rose Nolibow.
153
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:31,724
From Temporary Remedies.
154
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,926
Oh, good. Do you know how
to use this fucking computer?
155
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:36,863
- (gasps)
- Look, get the son-of-a-bitch up here who runs this place
156
00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,441
And tell him I got more leaks than
the fucking White House going on.
157
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:41,043
And if that cocksucker
tells you that he's busy,
158
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,278
you tell him he's full of shit,
and I'm gonna take my nine iron
159
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:46,239
and shove it up his
ass! Any questions?
160
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:50,042
No! Oh!
161
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:52,945
Where you going? You can't
take a break, you just got here!
162
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,624
- (water dripping)
- (narrates) Why are people so eager to work with me?
163
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,350
Holy shit, I'm on Titanic.
164
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,518
(narrates) Make
your own deductions.
165
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,154
I note here a
$32,000 contribution
166
00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:04,557
to the Kipawa Native
American tribe?
167
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,893
Yes. You see,
168
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,262
I'm very concerned about
how the US government...
169
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,597
Not your department,
of course...
170
00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:13,799
Has mistreated the Indians,
171
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:15,234
and I've dedicated myself
172
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,271
to helping to lift
them out of poverty.
173
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:19,839
A worthy pursuit.
174
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,340
Thank you.
175
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:22,942
However, due to their
176
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:25,778
extremely profitable
gaming casinos,
177
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,947
the Kipawas have
a per capita income
178
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,149
of $68,000 a year.
179
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,152
Might this... contribution
180
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:35,755
actually be payment
of a gambling debt?
181
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,324
It... it might.
182
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:43,663
Well, that completes
my examination of 1994.
183
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:45,965
(snaps fingers) See,
that wasn't so bad.
184
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:48,034
However, having
seen that return,
185
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,504
I would now like to
audit '95, '96, and, '97.
186
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:52,772
On what grounds?
187
00:07:52,838 --> 00:07:56,142
Mr. Babson, I hope your
returns are in order also.
188
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:57,610
My returns?
189
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,145
I'm sorry, did you
say something?
190
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:00,246
No.
191
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,440
- (water dripping)
- Vengeance be "mine," bastard!
192
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,650
Or more like this?
193
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,519
Vengeance "be" mine, bastard.
194
00:08:06,585 --> 00:08:07,687
Or more like,
195
00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:09,922
Vengeance "be mine," bastard.
196
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,425
Uh, simpler, I think,
Picabo. Simpler.
197
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:15,328
Arliss, I really think this
audition could be my big break.
198
00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:18,531
No, no, hitting that fence was
your big break. Whammo! (laughs)
199
00:08:18,597 --> 00:08:19,908
I mean winning
the gold in Nagano,
200
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:22,368
that was your big break. Wow!
201
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,653
(exhales)
202
00:08:23,654 --> 00:08:24,870
(phone rings)
203
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,839
Fuck! What?
204
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:28,274
Arliss, Jerry Colangelo.
205
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,809
Did you get my fax
on Devon White?
206
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:32,678
Umm, the White fax, White fax.
207
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:36,549
Yeah, yeah, I haven't had
time to crunch the numbers yet.
208
00:08:36,615 --> 00:08:38,517
Numbers? We just
need Devon to accept
209
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,319
a regular hotel room
rather than a suite.
210
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:42,121
We're in a real bind in Chicago.
211
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,589
Oh, the White fax!
212
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,096
I thought you said,
"The white fish."
213
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:46,601
No, no, he doesn't
give a shit about that.
214
00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:48,794
It'll be fine. Don't
worry about it. Bye.
215
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,197
Hey, Arliss, do you think
Felonious stabs like this?
216
00:08:51,263 --> 00:08:52,965
Yah!
217
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,700
Or do you think it's
more like this? Hwah!
218
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,370
Um, it would depend
on her motivation.
219
00:08:57,436 --> 00:09:00,973
Yeah-huh. How would Jody do it?
220
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,676
(Arliss narrates) I never expect
my employees to do something
221
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,778
that I myself couldn't handle.
222
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:08,547
(whirring, thumping)
223
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:09,949
Damn!
224
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,419
Rita, how could you leave me?
225
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,287
Just fry the fucker
and get back here!
226
00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:16,539
Arliss.
227
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:17,723
(screams)
228
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:18,891
What's up?
229
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,594
Gilbert Brown, how's the
Godzilla of the gridiron?
230
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,529
Hungry, you ready to go eat?
231
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,965
Oh man, I... I can't go. I
gotta get these contracts out,
232
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,709
and look at them...
they're coming out all black.
233
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,135
Is there anything
I can do to help?
234
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:32,972
As a matter of fact...
235
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,439
- Gilbert: This it?
- Arliss: Yeah, just give it a good yank.
236
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:38,978
(narrates) Once you know
what everybody's job is...
237
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,579
Just work on it.
238
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:43,149
You appreciate what
they do even more.
239
00:09:44,817 --> 00:09:46,619
Arliss, Arliss, I gotta
go to my audition.
240
00:09:46,685 --> 00:09:48,954
What if I hit on both
"vengeance" and "bastard"?
241
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,566
- Yeah, trust your instincts. Trust your instincts.
- (phone rings)
242
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:52,691
Break a leg!
243
00:09:53,959 --> 00:09:54,960
AM...
244
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,963
AMM... please...
Stanley, thank god!
245
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,698
Is that you? Are you
on your way home now?
246
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,568
Not even close! Kirby's
tax return just came in
247
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,737
at number one on the
bestseller list for fiction!
248
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,405
The auditor wants us
back there tomorrow.
249
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:07,840
Fucking shit!
250
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,742
I'm no happier
about it than you are.
251
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,610
There's a raisin
convention in town,
252
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,312
and there's only
one room available.
253
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:14,456
Do you know what that means?
254
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,148
You're sharing a
room with Kirby?
255
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,450
I'm sharing a bed with Kirby!
256
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,327
I thought this was supposed
to be a business trip?
257
00:10:19,351 --> 00:10:21,163
- Arliss, it's your fault that I'm here.
- (toilet flushes)
258
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,255
You wanted me to be
here, and I'm gonna...
259
00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:26,492
And you... oh!
260
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,029
God dammit!
261
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:32,798
Arliss, you owe me big time.
262
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:34,300
- Listen...
- (speaks Spanish)
263
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,404
Oh, it's okay, your
dad finished my shoes.
264
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,622
It's okay.
265
00:10:39,623 --> 00:10:40,773
(speaks Spanish)
266
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,876
Where's security?
267
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,080
No, don't shoot! Don't
shoot! (whimpers)
268
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,782
(speaks Spanish)
269
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,083
"Miguel Arly"?
270
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:54,353
"Miguel Arly," no?
271
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,455
(speaks Spanish)
272
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:57,762
Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll sign it.
273
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,126
Who do I make it out to?
274
00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:01,694
- Diego Sanchez.
- Pedro...
275
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,496
No, no, Diego Sanchez.
276
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,331
(speaks Spanish)
277
00:11:05,397 --> 00:11:06,532
"Cooba"!
278
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,334
♪ ♪
279
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,869
- "Cooba"?
- Si.
280
00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:11,370
- Baseball?
- Si, si!
281
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,305
Pitchero?
282
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,707
Si, si, si si!
283
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,707
"Cooba," pitchero.
284
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:15,825
Diego Sanchez?
285
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:16,876
Si.
286
00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:18,277
Si, si, hold un momento.
287
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,912
Stanley, I just hit
the mother lode.
288
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:22,248
- Diego Sanchez just walked into my office.
- Who?
289
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:23,992
He's the number one pitcher
from Cuba. I don't know.
290
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:26,536
- He must've defected. I'll call you back later.
- Ar... Arliss!
291
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:30,723
Cousin Louie, how's
my favorite nephew?
292
00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:31,790
(speaks Spanish)
293
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,726
(woman moans on TV)
294
00:11:33,792 --> 00:11:35,794
Is that a goatee or a vagina?
295
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:38,864
I don't think you understand
296
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:41,400
the severity of your situation.
297
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,037
It's a tit.
298
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,372
(sighs)
299
00:11:47,439 --> 00:11:50,342
(both speak Spanish)
300
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,454
Tell him there's plenty more
clothes where that came from.
301
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,879
(speaks Spanish)
302
00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:55,681
I got a warehouse
full of that shit.
303
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:59,151
Does... ask Diego, how did he
manage to escape from Castro?
304
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,321
(both speak Spanish)
305
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:08,027
He says that the
Cuban national team
306
00:12:08,093 --> 00:12:10,396
was touring Mexico,
and he liberated himself
307
00:12:10,462 --> 00:12:12,198
from the team
hotel in Chihuahua.
308
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,166
Tell him how much
I so admire the risks
309
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,468
- he took in pursuit of freedom.
- (speaks Spanish)
310
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,071
But in order to make
his trip worthwhile,
311
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,207
he must now go to
Costa Rica immediately.
312
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,878
(speaks Spanish)
313
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:32,585
What's he say, Kekee?
314
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,621
Señor Arliss, Diego
does not understand
315
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,556
why you say he
must go to Costa Rica
316
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,825
when he struggled
so hard to get here.
317
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:41,327
Why can't he a-stay?
318
00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:43,762
He cannot a-stay
because he's not here.
319
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,366
(speaking Spanish)
320
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,601
Listen to me.
321
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,502
As soon as he steps
foot in this country,
322
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,838
Major League Baseball
requires him to enter the draft...
323
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:57,209
which means that you can only
negotiate with the team that drafted you.
324
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,145
But if you establish
residency in another country...
325
00:13:02,147 --> 00:13:04,717
he's a free agent which
means he's eligible to negotiate
326
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,820
with all 30 professional
teams, driving the price up.
327
00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,258
It's a difference of
millions of dollars.
328
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:13,492
Mucho dinero!
329
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:14,760
(continues speaking Spanish)
330
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:15,828
Scratchola! Gelt!
331
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,498
- Okay. Si, si. Okay.
- Comprende? Comprende?
332
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:22,434
Good, good. Si,
good, good, good.
333
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:25,671
Now there's one more
thing we gotta take care of.
334
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,539
Mucho importante.
335
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:32,378
Agency contracts. Agency
contracts. Where are they?
336
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:33,979
Who the hell's this?
337
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,716
Shit! Son-of-a-bitch!
338
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:40,753
(speaks Spanish)
339
00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:44,857
Hey, Diego wants
to know if he can see
340
00:13:44,923 --> 00:13:47,226
Universal CityWalk
before he leaves.
341
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,228
No, no, no, no, you
don't understand.
342
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:50,796
Universal CityWalk's in America.
343
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:52,798
He was never in
America. Never America.
344
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,833
(both speak Spanish)
345
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,468
America. No, no.
346
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,540
Come on. I missed out on
the other Cuban defectors.
347
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,447
I sure as hell don't want
to miss out on Diego.
348
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,579
Shit! Son-of-a-bitch!
349
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,315
Diego wants to know
if you can arrange
350
00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:11,650
for him to play in Miami?
351
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:13,628
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure,
if he goes to Costa Rica!
352
00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:16,221
Costa Rica. (chuckles)
353
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,890
Contracts, contracts.
354
00:14:17,956 --> 00:14:19,992
Where the fuck
are the contracts?
355
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,661
♪ ♪
356
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:23,862
Now what did Diego say?
357
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:26,332
He says you should
press the "find" command.
358
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,133
(mouths)
359
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,437
Bueno.
360
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,906
Good.
361
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,581
I've got everything on the way.
362
00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:38,277
I just gotta get the
agency... (gasps)
363
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:39,812
Almost done.
364
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:43,949
Yeah.
365
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:45,517
Nice shoes.
366
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,288
Raisin' Hell. I love that!
367
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,224
Hey, Kirby.
368
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,326
Hey, Jerry Tarkanian,
how you doing?
369
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,728
Great to see you in Fresno.
370
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,396
I didn't know you
were a raisin booster.
371
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,898
That's not why I'm
here. I'm on an audit.
372
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,834
And audit? The IRS?
373
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,069
Hell, buddy, they're
worse than the NCAA.
374
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,571
You got a lot of problems.
375
00:15:05,637 --> 00:15:07,072
You better chew
on this for a while
376
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,499
and see if it brings
you some luck.
377
00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:12,711
Oh. Gee. Thanks... Tark.
378
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:19,852
Kirby... (sighs) I've
run the numbers.
379
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:22,921
Taking into account the items
that Ms. Slocomb challenged,
380
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:26,458
the estimated
penalties, plus interest,
381
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:29,795
you are gonna have to
write a check for that figure.
382
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:35,171
These last two numbers...
tho... tha... those are cents, right?
383
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,403
All dollars.
384
00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,238
Okay, so I owe some money.
385
00:15:39,304 --> 00:15:41,774
It's not like these people
are gonna break my knees.
386
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,243
No, Kirby, but they
could do worse.
387
00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:45,811
Prison?
388
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,279
Yeah.
389
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,680
No way!
390
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,883
I mean I just thought I would
put this on my Visa card.
391
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:53,752
Oh, Stanley, you gotta help me.
392
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,255
(scoffs) Kirby, I can't
get you out of this.
393
00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,490
You don't fuck with the IRS.
394
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,460
And now that I've come here,
you've put me in the line of fire.
395
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,795
Well, I didn't ask you to come.
396
00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:04,973
Oh, Arliss did. He knew you
wouldn't take this seriously.
397
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,331
Jesus, was he right.
398
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,733
Look, I don't need a chaperon!
399
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,101
Oh, really?
400
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,912
You can't take care of
your personal business,
401
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:13,105
now you've brought
me into the line of fire.
402
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,239
You know what?
403
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:19,211
- Fuck you! I don't need you.
- (laughs)
404
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,680
If only that were true!
405
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,715
What's a smart guy like you
406
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,517
doing with a loser like that?
407
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:30,255
Ms. Slocomb, I knew you people
were privy to our personal lives.
408
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,291
I didn't know that meant
following us around.
409
00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:34,059
Sit down, Mr. Babson,
410
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,562
I'm here having a
double Glenfiddich.
411
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:39,097
Just unwinding after a hard day.
412
00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:45,237
Look at that.
Pathetic, isn't it?
413
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,473
So, how do you get
to be a raisin girl?
414
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,708
- (laughs)
- Do you have to start out as a grape?
415
00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:51,743
Kirby's not pathetic.
416
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:54,413
He's underdeveloped
in some ways.
417
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,814
My friend is harmless.
418
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:58,450
Your friend is defrauding
the United States government.
419
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:01,320
Okay, who doesn't
pad their write-offs?
420
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,122
Besides me?
421
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,227
Don't worry. I'll make
sure he makes good on it.
422
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,863
It won't be good enough.
423
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,532
Kirby was a
college football star.
424
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,868
At the age of 21,
he had his picture
425
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,537
on... the cover of
national magazines.
426
00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,240
Life peaked for
him 20 years ago.
427
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,383
In a way, it's kind of sad.
428
00:17:22,407 --> 00:17:25,244
Am I supposed to
feel sorry for him?
429
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:29,014
I made $37,000 last year,
430
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:33,018
He made $270,000
and cheated on his taxes!
431
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:34,987
Sorry if I don't share
your compassion.
432
00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:37,156
Ms. Slocomb.
433
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,258
Mr. Babson, I am through
talking about Mr. Carlisle.
434
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,460
- Fine then.
- I'd rather talk about you.
435
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:44,296
About me?
436
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:46,999
Sit down, Mr. Babson.
437
00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:49,101
You made quite an
impression today.
438
00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:51,770
Encyclopedic
knowledge of the tax code.
439
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,439
Logical, well
constructed argument.
440
00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:56,675
If we could get back to Kirby.
441
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,644
If you could only look
at my friend's returns...
442
00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:00,746
Well, I might be persuaded...
443
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,349
if I could count on
your assistance.
444
00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:07,119
My assistance?
445
00:18:07,185 --> 00:18:10,088
(Arliss narrates) The working
person knows every now and then
446
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,891
you've got to take
one for the team.
447
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,743
(both moaning loudly)
448
00:18:14,744 --> 00:18:16,528
Slocomb: God!
449
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,733
Hit the total! Hit the total!
450
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:25,237
Make another entry! Yes!
451
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:29,107
Make another entry!
452
00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:32,628
(water dripping)
453
00:18:32,629 --> 00:18:34,680
(both speak Spanish)
454
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:38,684
(door opens)
455
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,555
Look, here are
the airline tickets.
456
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,891
And this is an AMM
agency contract.
457
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,328
When you get to Costa Rica,
have Diego sign it, mail it,
458
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,196
and then he will be
on his way to fame,
459
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,631
fortune, and free agency.
460
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,700
There's been a change in plans.
461
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,169
Change? What change?
462
00:18:57,235 --> 00:18:59,771
Diego wants me to be his agent.
463
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,506
What? When did this happen?
464
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:03,375
When you were talking
to the travel agent.
465
00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:05,744
I want to hear this from Diego.
466
00:19:11,516 --> 00:19:13,251
He says, if I'm not his agent,
467
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,420
he's going back to Cuba.
468
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,156
Man, I don't believe
what I'm hearing here.
469
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:21,360
Kekee, haven't I always
treated you as a friend?
470
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:22,995
You know, Señor Arliss,
471
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:28,000
every day I play the lottery
and every day I lose...
472
00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:31,403
until today.
473
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,971
Kekee, I...
474
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:34,840
Look at my hands.
475
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:38,010
Do you know how many
shoes I shine a day?
476
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:39,177
I-I-I...
477
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,278
Of course not.
478
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:44,182
Between 50 and
60 pair every day.
479
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,785
After rent, taxes, equipment,
480
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,320
giving my sons some money,
481
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,122
do you know how
much I take home?
482
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,958
A buck a shoe.
483
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,793
It's tough to take
a family of five
484
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:55,894
to a ball game on that.
485
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,271
Look, if it's
tickets you want...
486
00:19:57,295 --> 00:20:00,399
And then this young man
comes to my country...
487
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:02,184
He's not here!
488
00:20:02,185 --> 00:20:03,902
Illegally, doesn't
speak the language,
489
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:08,240
knows no trade except to
throw a baseball very fast.
490
00:20:08,306 --> 00:20:10,776
Soon, someone
will give him millions.
491
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,913
Arliss, you know, it
just doesn't seem fair.
492
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,298
I know.
493
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:17,616
But wait, it is fair.
494
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,019
Fair market value.
495
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:26,158
Okay, okay, I get the
game. I get the game.
496
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,026
- What do you want?
- 30 percent.
497
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,428
30 percent!
498
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:33,965
(laughs) The standard
finder's fee is 10 percent.
499
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:36,802
Diego Sanchez is
not your standard find.
500
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:39,705
This is unbelievable.
501
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:42,641
Okay, I'll go 12 and a
half percent, but that's it!
502
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,576
Señor Arliss,
503
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:46,912
a wise man once said to me,
504
00:20:46,978 --> 00:20:49,081
you must seize the opportunity
505
00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:51,016
because if they don't want you,
506
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,151
they won't pay you dollar one.
507
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,256
I shine a little,
I listen a lot.
508
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,059
(Arliss narrates) Why do I
love the common man so?
509
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:04,730
Maybe because I see
so much of myself in him.
510
00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:07,699
♪ ♪
511
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:17,008
(adding machine clicking)
512
00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:20,579
Mr. Carlisle, after
re-reviewing the numbers,
513
00:21:20,645 --> 00:21:26,885
I've decided that
you owe $2,800.76.
514
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:30,055
♪ ♪
515
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,323
That's it?
516
00:21:31,389 --> 00:21:33,658
Would you like me to find more?
517
00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:35,594
No, no, no.
518
00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:37,896
I want you to know that
the reason the amount
519
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:41,032
was reduced was
because of the tireless work
520
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:43,835
performed by Mr. Babson
on your account.
521
00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:46,555
Oh, he's the best, isn't he?
522
00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:48,006
(chuckles)
523
00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:51,109
Let's just say he's very good.
524
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:53,178
(chuckles)
525
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,714
(Arliss narrates) They call
baseball a game of inches.
526
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,182
Well, that phrase applies
527
00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:59,017
to more than just baseball.
528
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:00,252
(shouts)
529
00:22:00,253 --> 00:22:01,419
(both grunting)
530
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:15,100
Vengeance shall
be mine, you bastard!
531
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,869
Cut, print! We got it, great!
532
00:22:17,936 --> 00:22:20,071
Great, I loved it. Okay,
European version.
533
00:22:20,138 --> 00:22:21,640
Picabo, take your top off.
534
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:26,611
Arliss!
535
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,089
(Arliss narrates) One
should never forget
536
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:29,815
that the little people
have feelings too.
537
00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:31,583
- (phone rings)
- (answering machine beeps)
538
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:33,227
Woman on phone: This is
Temporary Remedies, Rose.
539
00:22:33,251 --> 00:22:35,086
We'd like to send you out again.
540
00:22:35,153 --> 00:22:37,222
- (whimpering)
- Rose, are you there? Rose?
541
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:39,624
(Arliss narrates) Oh, sure,
it's nice to be important
542
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:42,661
- (crowd cheering)
- and make lots of money signing big name stars...
543
00:22:42,727 --> 00:22:44,629
Kekee on P.A.: Welcome
to Kekee's Emporium.
544
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:47,999
Cigars, cappuccino
and shoe maintenance.
545
00:22:48,066 --> 00:22:49,334
Arliss: but let us not forget
546
00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:51,136
that stars wouldn't be stars
547
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,705
without the help of those
who make them shine.
548
00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:56,374
(Kekee speaks Spanish)
549
00:22:59,744 --> 00:23:01,279
(speaks Spanish)
550
00:23:04,349 --> 00:23:06,918
Ivan Rodriguez!
How's it going, bud?
551
00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:09,030
- Hey, Arliss, what's going on?
- What a coincidence.
552
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,056
I was just telling Kekee here
553
00:23:11,122 --> 00:23:13,201
if there's one player that
needs his contract renegotiated,
554
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,593
it's Ivan Rodriguez.
555
00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:16,494
(both speak Spanish)
556
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:17,829
- Si?
- Si.
557
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,273
Hey, you and I
should talk, you know?
558
00:23:19,297 --> 00:23:21,566
(Arliss narrates) What
makes this society work?
559
00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:24,703
All of us working together
to form a universal language.
560
00:23:24,769 --> 00:23:27,706
- Mucho dinero.
- (narrates) That's the American way.
561
00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:28,773
Si.
562
00:23:29,774 --> 00:23:31,576
Mi llamo Arliss Michaels.
563
00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:33,945
Yo represento atletas.
564
00:23:34,012 --> 00:23:36,448
Esto son mi historas.
565
00:23:36,514 --> 00:23:40,085
♪ ♪
40774
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof