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Alright, children, as I'm sure you all remember, today we are going to continue our biology lesson…
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00:00:40,902 --> 00:00:42,837
by dissecting an organism.
3
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,956
Now, what we are going to dissect
today is the West Indian manatee.
4
00:00:47,957 --> 00:00:52,868
Manatees are mammals that live in the oceans and are often called the gentle clowns of the sea.
5
00:00:52,925 --> 00:00:55,627
Aha, Ms. Choksondik,
aren't manatees endangered?
6
00:00:55,662 --> 00:00:59,630
They sure are, Wendy, and that's
why we must learn what's inside them.
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00:00:59,631 --> 00:01:02,475
Now, we don't have quite
enough manatees to go around,
8
00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,566
so I think we're gonna have to
split up into groups of four.
9
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,246
Hey! Ours is still alive!
10
00:01:06,281 --> 00:01:08,177
Oh, hold on.
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00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:13,619
Now, children, our first incision
will be along the abdomen.
12
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:14,438
I can't do it, dude.
13
00:01:14,473 --> 00:01:16,976
Aw, don't be such a
baby! You do it, Kenny.
14
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,640
Come, on, Kenny! I'll give
you five bucks to do it!
15
00:01:19,675 --> 00:01:20,506
(FIVE BUCKS???)
16
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,090
Too bad Cartman's missing
this. He must be really sick.
17
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,869
Say Terrance, this body appears to
have been moved since the murder.
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00:01:26,870 --> 00:01:28,733
Look at the forensic
evidence around the torso.
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00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,104
I don't see anything.
20
00:01:30,139 --> 00:01:34,740
Look closer. Closer. Hunh-nh.
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00:01:34,775 --> 00:01:37,083
I still don't see anything, Phillip.
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00:01:37,118 --> 00:01:38,172
Waitwait.
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00:01:38,207 --> 00:01:40,190
I know what's gonna happen, Mom.
You wanna know what's gonna happen?
24
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,832
Keep looking, Terrance. The forensic
evidence is right around here. Ah! Af!
25
00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:52,420
That totally surprised me!
26
00:01:52,421 --> 00:01:53,421
I can't believe how the
show manages to stay fresh.
27
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,077
Eh yes, sweetie.
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00:01:56,112 --> 00:01:59,740
Mom.can you go make me a toaster
pastry chocolate-mix butter bar?
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00:01:59,775 --> 00:02:02,340
Oohh, honey, why don't
you make it yourself?
30
00:02:02,341 --> 00:02:04,375
Mommy's expecting some company.
31
00:02:04,495 --> 00:02:06,317
God, I have to everythng around here!
32
00:02:22,944 --> 00:02:25,795
I'mo drag home myself, babih. But the-
33
00:02:27,468 --> 00:02:28,880
What the hell's going on?
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00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:33,663
Uh, sweetie, your friends
wanted to have a "talk" with you.
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00:02:33,698 --> 00:02:39,318
Eric, your friends and your family are
all… concerned about your weight. M'kay?
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00:02:39,353 --> 00:02:39,913
What?!
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00:02:39,948 --> 00:02:41,760
We believe that you
might have a problem.
38
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,927
You're God-damn right I have a problem!
39
00:02:42,928 --> 00:02:44,742
Terrance and Phillip is on and
I don't have anywhere to sit!
40
00:02:44,743 --> 00:02:45,889
Now what the hell is this?!
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00:02:46,063 --> 00:02:47,934
It's called intervention, Eric.
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00:02:47,969 --> 00:02:49,664
Your friends and I have all chipped in
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00:02:49,665 --> 00:02:53,057
and we're going to send you up
to a weight-management retreat.
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00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:53,999
Fat camp?
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00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:54,904
Yes, fat camp.
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00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:56,890
Alright, I don't know who the
hell put you all up to this,
47
00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:59,862
but I am sure as hell not
going to any gay-ass fat camp!
48
00:02:59,907 --> 00:03:01,788
Now, Eric, all these people came here
49
00:03:01,789 --> 00:03:04,766
and paid to send you to camp
because they care about you.
50
00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:08,378
Yeah, except for me. I just wanted to see
the look on your face when they told you.
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00:03:08,413 --> 00:03:10,823
Mom, tell them! Tell them I'm
not fat, I'm just big-boned!
52
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:14,332
Tell them all those stories about how everyone in your famiy was big as a child but then grew into their bodies!
53
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,472
Oh, sweetie, those were
all lies. You're just fat.
54
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,885
And now we will be removing the spleen.
55
00:03:22,886 --> 00:03:25,401
Notice how the manatee's
spleen is designed for a qu-
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00:03:25,517 --> 00:03:28,256
Ah, Ms. Choksondik, can we
have a quick word with you?
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00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,520
Alright, continue with the removal of
the spleen, childen. I'll be right back.
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00:03:31,555 --> 00:03:33,658
Aw, dude, check this out.
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00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:34,867
That's so gross.
60
00:03:34,902 --> 00:03:36,589
Hey, Kenny. How much
for you to eat this?
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00:03:36,624 --> 00:03:37,795
(I'm not eatin' that!)
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00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:38,814
I'll give you ten bucks to eat it.
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00:03:38,849 --> 00:03:39,688
I'll throw in five.
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00:03:39,723 --> 00:03:41,959
And so apparently there's
been a little mixup.
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00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,722
The manatees were meant to go
to the Denver Shelter Aquarium
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00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,747
and the frogs were meant to come here.
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00:03:46,931 --> 00:03:47,637
Oh dear.
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00:03:47,672 --> 00:03:48,665
I'll throw in a dollar!
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00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:49,357
I've got three.
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00:03:49,392 --> 00:03:51,453
Come on, dude. All you
gotta do is eat it very fast!
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00:03:51,488 --> 00:03:52,960
forty-one bucks.
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00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:55,894
Eww-ho-hoo!
He did it!
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00:03:55,929 --> 00:03:58,527
Alright, children, now,
let's get back in our seats.
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00:03:58,528 --> 00:04:02,604
Uh, we are now going to put
the manatees back together.
75
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,581
…And it has basketball
courts and tennis courts,
76
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,590
and you can call Mommy
any time you want.
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00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:14,608
Oh, sweetie-kins, don't be mad.
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00:04:14,609 --> 00:04:16,391
I'm sure you're going
to have a good time.
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00:04:16,392 --> 00:04:18,996
And when you come back you'll
be all healthy and thin.
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00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,632
Howdy there. I'm one of
the weight counselors here.
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00:04:22,633 --> 00:04:24,172
This must be Eric Cartman.
82
00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:26,717
Yes. I'm afraid he's a little moody.
83
00:04:26,752 --> 00:04:30,728
Oh, we'll change that. Hello, camper.
My name is Rick. How are you doing?
84
00:04:30,763 --> 00:04:33,243
Well, I'm pissed off!,
Rick! How are you?
85
00:04:33,278 --> 00:04:36,870
I'm doing great! Why don't you come
on out and we'll get yo oriented.
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00:04:36,871 --> 00:04:39,392
I'll take care of him from here, ma'am.
87
00:04:39,427 --> 00:04:41,204
Oh. Well, goodbye, sweetie.
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00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,564
Don't touch me!
89
00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:45,718
Eric, this is the beginning
of a whole new life for you!
90
00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:52,667
Have you got any candy?
91
00:04:52,702 --> 00:04:53,292
No.
92
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:56,095
My mon says I ain't to eat no candy
here. I'm s'psoed to lose weight.
93
00:04:56,537 --> 00:05:00,359
Alright! Everybody's here and that
means we can get down to business!
94
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:04,163
Over the next few weeks we're gonna learn
that losing weight is fun, right gang?
95
00:05:04,979 --> 00:05:05,657
Right.
96
00:05:06,529 --> 00:05:10,121
Wait a second. Do you kids hear
something? I could've swore that-
97
00:05:11,124 --> 00:05:13,576
Oh no, kids! It's glutinous fat!
98
00:05:13,611 --> 00:05:16,845
I'm gonna take over your
body and make you slow!
99
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,779
Oh! What are we going to do?
100
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:22,824
Wait! I know! I could knock
it out! With… Exercise!
101
00:05:22,825 --> 00:05:24,822
And… Proper Diet.
102
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,135
Oh no! Exercise and
proper diet have killed me.
103
00:05:29,170 --> 00:05:31,932
I guess we took care of that
bad old fat, didn't we kids?
104
00:05:31,967 --> 00:05:33,248
Yeah!
105
00:05:33,283 --> 00:05:34,800
Well, hold on a second.
106
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,776
Because that glutinous fat was
really our good friend, Susan,
107
00:05:37,777 --> 00:05:39,862
who's another weight counselor!
108
00:05:39,897 --> 00:05:42,019
Heh! It was a lady in a costume!
109
00:05:42,054 --> 00:05:43,921
Would somebody put this
retard out of his misery?!
110
00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:46,483
What's the matter?
111
00:05:46,518 --> 00:05:49,074
Kenny's not feeling so good.
That manatee spleen made him sick.
112
00:05:49,109 --> 00:05:51,003
Uh oh. I guess we shouldn't
have made him eat it.
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00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:55,839
Well, at least you got
it out of your system.
114
00:05:55,874 --> 00:05:59,575
Aw, dude! You can still kinda
see the spleen! How much, Kenny?
115
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:00,148
(WHAT?!)
116
00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:01,738
I'll give you five
bucks.to eat your puke.
117
00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:03,147
Huh-I'm in for five!
118
00:06:03,182 --> 00:06:03,768
Oh, you guys!
119
00:06:03,803 --> 00:06:04,575
I've got three.
120
00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:05,116
Six!
121
00:06:05,151 --> 00:06:07,593
Uh-here. Uh-you can scoop
it up in my R. Kelly thermos.
122
00:06:11,206 --> 00:06:13,041
That's 19 bucks, Kenny!
123
00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:16,564
Kick ass, dude!
124
00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:19,285
You know, dude, there
might be something to this.
125
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,768
Yeah. People are willing to pay big
money to see Kenny do this stuff.
126
00:06:25,658 --> 00:06:27,724
Doing great kids! Come on!
127
00:06:33,791 --> 00:06:35,848
This… is… bullcrap!
128
00:06:36,566 --> 00:06:39,407
Well, I sure enjoyed my carrots and
protein bar! How about you, gang?
129
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,063
I'm starving. This is
it. I'm going to die here.
130
00:06:42,098 --> 00:06:46,301
I hope you all left room for dessert.
Soybean pudding for everybody!
131
00:06:47,588 --> 00:06:49,496
Are you going to eat
your soybean pudding?
132
00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:51,235
Take it! I can't eat this crap!
133
00:06:51,270 --> 00:06:53,157
Me neither. I have to have
sugar or I'm going to die.
134
00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:56,918
Yeah, well, when I was in prison, we used
to sneak stuff in by hiding it up oour ass.
135
00:06:57,405 --> 00:06:59,846
I have some Fudge 'Ems
up my ass. You want some?
136
00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:01,911
Psss. Yeah, I'm not
falling for that one again!
137
00:07:05,156 --> 00:07:06,268
Alright, Clyde Frog.
138
00:07:06,269 --> 00:07:09,012
We just gotta clear the
counselor building and we're free.
139
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,415
We did it, Clyde Frog!
140
00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:18,572
Now the only question is, do we go
home to our traitor moms and friends,
141
00:07:18,573 --> 00:07:20,594
or do we start a new life on the run?
142
00:07:21,322 --> 00:07:23,460
An ice cream truck! Hey wait!
143
00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:24,935
Boy, am I glad to see you!
144
00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:26,448
Can I interest you in some ice cream?
145
00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:29,283
You're damn right you can!
Two Roller Pops, please!
146
00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:32,346
Alrighty, do you want
this kind or this kind?
147
00:07:35,728 --> 00:07:37,534
They tricked us again, huh?
148
00:07:37,569 --> 00:07:40,525
Aw, God-damnit! LET ME OUT OF HMYA!
149
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,982
Hang on, we'll be back at
camp in a matter of no time.
150
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:51,065
They always get us. Sometimes it's a ice
cream truck, sometimes it's a taco stand.
151
00:07:51,066 --> 00:07:52,439
But they always fool us..
152
00:07:52,637 --> 00:07:56,215
Heh-I can't help it. I'd give anything.
Any amount of money for some candy.
153
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,427
Hey kids!
154
00:07:57,462 --> 00:08:00,139
Looks like we had some
attemptted escapees again tonight.
155
00:08:00,174 --> 00:08:03,545
Escape-aroo! Now campers,
I know that camp is tough,
156
00:08:03,546 --> 00:08:05,539
but you have to believe
that you can do it.
157
00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:08,772
And you have to know that until you
drop the weight, you can't leave.
158
00:08:08,844 --> 00:08:09,987
Thre is no escape.
159
00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,172
So let's just all put
on our try-hard helmets,
160
00:08:12,173 --> 00:08:15,646
and accept that the only way for us to
get out of camp, is to LOSE THE WEIGHT
161
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:16,927
Aw, damnit!
162
00:08:18,515 --> 00:08:20,060
That's what being young is all about.
163
00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:21,662
Thanks for coming, everybody.
164
00:08:21,663 --> 00:08:23,609
Uh what's all this about, Mrs. Cartman?
165
00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:26,138
Is Eric having trouble at havin'
trouble at his weight-management camp?
166
00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:27,182
We knew he wouldn't make it.
167
00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:29,121
Oh, no. Quite the contrary.
168
00:08:29,122 --> 00:08:31,263
Eric showed up and
surprised me last night.
169
00:08:31,264 --> 00:08:34,313
Ladies and gentlemen, I
would like to present to you…
170
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,141
the new Eric Cartman.
171
00:08:36,306 --> 00:08:37,377
Hey, dudes!
172
00:08:39,134 --> 00:08:40,170
I don't believe it.
173
00:08:40,205 --> 00:08:43,245
Believe it. He lost 40
pounds at his fat camp.
174
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,181
Eric, that's fantastic, m'kay?!
175
00:08:46,216 --> 00:08:48,383
Congratulations. How do you feel?
176
00:08:48,418 --> 00:08:49,685
I feel awesome!
177
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,292
What did they do with all the fat?
178
00:08:51,293 --> 00:08:53,434
There must have been enough to
last an Eskimo family months.
179
00:08:53,477 --> 00:08:56,541
You know, Kyle? There was a time when
your fat jokes would have gotten to me.
180
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,702
But now I'm totally
slim and totally happy!
181
00:08:58,703 --> 00:09:01,750
In fact, I'd say I'm a little
bit trimmer than you, fatboy!
182
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,343
Just kidding, Kyle.
183
00:09:03,351 --> 00:09:07,316
I made some healthy tofu pudding
to celebrate. Who wants some?
184
00:09:07,351 --> 00:09:08,473
Memememeee!
185
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,025
Dude. I don't know if I'm going
to like the new Eric Cartman.
186
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:13,295
Did you like the old one?
187
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:13,957
Good point.
188
00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:17,807
And now back to Jesus and Pals,
on South Park Public Access.
189
00:09:17,842 --> 00:09:21,017
Back to our courageous story of a
little boy's triumph over obesity.
190
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:25,187
Eric, yea. You found that the Spirit of
the Lord inside you gave you strength.
191
00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:27,042
No. Actually, I found a
diet that totally works.
192
00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:29,165
A little boy who overcame the odds.
193
00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:30,952
Let's hear it for Eric Cartman!
194
00:09:32,796 --> 00:09:36,063
Well, our second guest tonight is
a young man named Kenny McCormick,
195
00:09:36,064 --> 00:09:38,118
who is going to eat dog crap. Kenny?
196
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,655
God-damnit, all I got
was a little golf clap!
197
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,589
Thanks for coming on the show, Kenny.
198
00:10:05,624 --> 00:10:06,174
(Sure!)
199
00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:07,229
Do it again!
200
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:10,441
Hey kid! I'll give you 20 bucks
to eat a really old piece of bacon!
201
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,485
This is ridiculous!
202
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,664
So. Kenny, how did you discover
that you had this… talent?
203
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,664
We thought of it, Jesus.
204
00:10:16,665 --> 00:10:19,315
I mean, Kenny's the one that does it all, but
we were the masterminds of the whole thing.
205
00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,443
I can't say I approve
of this, my children.
206
00:10:22,318 --> 00:10:23,367
Huh? Why not?
207
00:10:23,402 --> 00:10:26,184
Because Kenny is only doing
things that anybody could do.
208
00:10:26,185 --> 00:10:28,743
For money. He's a prostitute.
209
00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:31,474
I'll pay him 50 bucks to
eat someone else's vomit.
210
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,277
-What's a prostitute?
-I don't know.
211
00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:39,231
Hello there, children!
212
00:10:39,266 --> 00:10:40,011
Hey, Chef:
213
00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:41,354
Chef, what's a prostitute?
214
00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,595
Dag-nabbit children!
215
00:10:43,596 --> 00:10:47,228
How come every time you come in here you gotta be askin' me questons that I shouldn't be answering?
216
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,456
Chef, what's the clitoris?
217
00:10:48,457 --> 00:10:49,926
What's a lesbian, Chef?
218
00:10:49,927 --> 00:10:51,678
How come they call it a rim jub, Chef?
219
00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,792
For once, can't just come in here and
say, "Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"
220
00:10:55,809 --> 00:10:56,941
Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?
221
00:10:56,976 --> 00:10:58,977
It sure is! Thank you.
222
00:10:59,012 --> 00:11:00,087
Chef, what's a prostitute?
223
00:11:00,122 --> 00:11:03,426
Uh uh! You children are gonna get me
in trouble with the principal again.
224
00:11:03,461 --> 00:11:04,787
Lunchtime! I'm starved!
225
00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:07,084
Oh my God. Eric?
226
00:11:07,119 --> 00:11:07,665
That's me.
227
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,461
Chef was just about to
tell us what a protitute is.
228
00:11:10,527 --> 00:11:12,811
Why do you need to know
what a prostitue is anyway?!
229
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:15,735
Because Jesus told us that
Kenny's a prostitute. Is he?
230
00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:16,477
(Yeah. Am I?)
231
00:11:16,512 --> 00:11:19,676
Well, no, uh of course
Kenny is not a prostitute.
232
00:11:19,711 --> 00:11:20,290
Why?
233
00:11:20,325 --> 00:11:23,231
Well, because, children, a
prostitute is someone who…
234
00:11:23,232 --> 00:11:25,685
you could pay for certain services.
235
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,327
Like what?
236
00:11:26,362 --> 00:11:28,471
Like keeping you company. Understand?
237
00:11:28,506 --> 00:11:29,196
No.
238
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:32,009
You see, chidren, sometimes a
man needs to be with a woman.
239
00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:34,015
But sometimes, when the lovin' is over,
240
00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:37,221
the woman just wants to talk
and talk and talk and talk.
241
00:11:37,256 --> 00:11:39,702
But a prostitute is
someonen who would love you
242
00:11:39,737 --> 00:11:45,117
No matter who you are, or what you
look like. Yes, it's true, children.
243
00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:48,484
That's not why you pay a prostitute,
244
00:11:48,519 --> 00:11:52,715
no, you don't pay her to stay,
you pay her to leave afterwards.
245
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:58,983
That's why I pays a lot for prostitutes!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor.
246
00:11:59,877 --> 00:12:02,075
A prostitute is like any other woman
247
00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:05,688
They all trade somethin'
for sex and they do it well.
248
00:12:05,723 --> 00:12:07,705
And that's why I say-
249
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:10,094
Prostitutes! Prostitutes! They-
250
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,343
…James Taylor, what the
hell are you doin' in here?!
251
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,734
Singing' about prostitutes
to the children!
252
00:12:18,735 --> 00:12:20,510
Get out of here!
253
00:12:22,193 --> 00:12:23,932
…These children tricked me!
254
00:12:33,672 --> 00:12:35,980
Oh, there you are.
Alright, I got the goods.
255
00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:38,104
Some candy bars, a few
donuts, and some beef gravy.
256
00:12:38,119 --> 00:12:39,483
Is anyone starting to suspect anything?
257
00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:41,671
Nobody. Your mom even
thinks I'm a skinny you.
258
00:12:41,706 --> 00:12:43,454
Ahawesome! Alright, throw it over!
259
00:12:43,489 --> 00:12:45,438
Uh uh. One thing. I want a bigger cut.
260
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:45,898
What?!
261
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:46,877
I'm the one risking my ass,
262
00:12:46,878 --> 00:12:49,820
running around in that stupid town pretending to be you and collecting all the food to bring up here!
263
00:12:49,821 --> 00:12:51,744
All you have to do is sit back
and sell it to all the fat kids!
264
00:12:51,786 --> 00:12:54,386
Alright alright! Keep your voice
down! I'll bump you up to 10%.
265
00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:55,010
Twenty.
266
00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:56,203
Suck my balls, 20!
267
00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:58,168
Fine! Then I shall bid you good day!
268
00:12:58,203 --> 00:12:59,552
Waitwaitwaitwait! Fine, 20!
269
00:12:59,553 --> 00:13:02,425
But just remember that your parents think that you're in the drug rehab center next door!
270
00:13:02,426 --> 00:13:04,219
You blow your cover
and we're both screwed!
271
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:10,517
You guys! You have to
check this tape out!
272
00:13:10,552 --> 00:13:12,481
Ey, we're trying to
study. Finals are tomorrow.
273
00:13:12,516 --> 00:13:13,998
No, dude, check this out!
274
00:13:13,999 --> 00:13:16,945
It's a video: this kid, he
does all kinds of crazy stuff.
275
00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:22,724
Check it out! He jumped into a Porto-Potty at a construction site and stayed there for four days!
276
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,092
Oh, gro-hoss
277
00:13:29,127 --> 00:13:29,990
Sick!
278
00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:32,511
That's awesome! Hey
guys! Check this out!
279
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:37,772
Get ready for the Krrrrrrazy Kenny Show!
280
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:42,117
And now here's your host, the kid who
will do anythng to himself for money,
281
00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:45,590
Krrrra--a--a-a-azy
Kenny!
282
00:13:46,727 --> 00:13:49,249
Kenny, through the past
weeks we've seen you eat mice,
283
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,612
pretend to kill newborn babies
to shock their mothers and
284
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,239
…wash your hair with battery acid.
285
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,467
The question in all our minds is,
who-haht are you gonna do next?
286
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,426
(Well, I'm gonna give my grandfather
a full-body sensual massage.)
287
00:14:00,461 --> 00:14:02,887
Whoa-ho ho! You heard him, folks!
288
00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:08,129
Kenny is going to give a sensual
full-body massage to his own grandfather!
289
00:14:25,469 --> 00:14:27,359
Wow! This is Kenny's best show ever!
290
00:14:27,394 --> 00:14:28,600
This is so juvenile.
291
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,477
Cartman, what the hell's
the matter with you?
292
00:14:30,512 --> 00:14:32,108
Yeah, you've gotten lame since
you got skinny. What's up?
293
00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:34,710
Eh, nothing. Hey, can I have some
of that licorice to take home?
294
00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:38,172
Alright campers, good work today.
295
00:14:38,173 --> 00:14:41,267
Lights out, and we'll see you tomorrow
for more exercise and proper diet.
296
00:14:42,979 --> 00:14:44,611
All beddy-byes for the night, are they?
297
00:14:44,646 --> 00:14:48,096
I don't know what we're doing wrong,
Susan. These kids aren't losing the weight.
298
00:14:48,131 --> 00:14:50,824
We'll just have to give them
more time. They'll do it!
299
00:14:50,825 --> 00:14:52,171
They'll do it!!
300
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:55,958
Alright, they're gone!
301
00:14:58,078 --> 00:15:00,377
The Cartman store is open!
302
00:15:02,390 --> 00:15:05,316
Two donuts and a pack
of licorice, please.
303
00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:06,915
Two donuts and a pack of licorice.
304
00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:09,204
Well, Tony, the usual?
305
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,233
Why are you crying, Chad?
306
00:15:14,268 --> 00:15:16,174
Cause I'm always gonna be fat.
307
00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:20,812
I don't wanna eat no sweets, but I can't control myself when they're right in front of me like this.
308
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,476
All my life I've been fat.
309
00:15:24,477 --> 00:15:28,589
I've beh- I've been to seven camps and I swore to my momma that I'd lose the weight.
310
00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:31,478
I want to, but I can't help myself.
311
00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:37,531
Hey, Chad, eh… You know what
you need? You need a friend.
312
00:15:38,264 --> 00:15:39,502
I'd, I do?
313
00:15:39,537 --> 00:15:42,216
Yes. A chocolate friend.
314
00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,681
Mr. Candy Bar doesn't judge you, Chad.
315
00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:48,289
Mr. Candy Bar likes you
just the way you are.
316
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,451
Look at how yummy and sweet he is.
317
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,624
…There you go. That'll
just be four dollars.
318
00:16:02,769 --> 00:16:04,346
…There you go.
319
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,713
This week on Pay Per View, Krazy Kenny
will crawl up into a woman's uterus
320
00:16:07,714 --> 00:16:09,448
and stay there for six hours.
321
00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:12,040
Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime
event. Order now!
322
00:16:13,763 --> 00:16:16,450
Alright, so we're back talkin'
to three competing celebrities:
323
00:16:16,451 --> 00:16:19,522
Tom Green, Johnny Knoxville from
MTV's Jackass and Krazy Kenny.
324
00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:20,261
Hey, Howard.
325
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:22,862
Krazy Kenny is here to promote
his Pay-Per-View special this week,
326
00:16:22,863 --> 00:16:27,796
where he will crawl up into a bus driver's
uterus and stay there for six hous.
327
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,335
Now, some people that all you
guys do is perform sick and
328
00:16:31,336 --> 00:16:34,508
disgusting acts for shock value
and money, which makes you whores.
329
00:16:34,509 --> 00:16:36,179
But I'd like to prove them wrong.
330
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:38,557
So what I'm gonna do… is
I'm gonna offer each of you
331
00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:41,634
$50,000 to give me oral sex right now.
332
00:16:41,691 --> 00:16:42,745
-I'm in.
-Me too.
333
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:45,396
-(And me!)
-Fine! I'll do it for 40!
334
00:16:45,358 --> 00:16:46,752
-20!
-(…Ten bucks!)
335
00:16:46,592 --> 00:16:48,289
Ooh, the kid says he'll
do it for ten bucks.
336
00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:49,158
Damnit. I'm out.
337
00:16:49,193 --> 00:16:50,765
Me too. I guess he is the biggest whore.
338
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,687
Alright, let's get going,
then. Can we cut the cameras?
339
00:16:54,443 --> 00:16:56,235
And we're gonna reach fo the sky…
340
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,240
And down to the ground.
341
00:16:58,788 --> 00:17:00,677
And up to the sky…
342
00:17:02,139 --> 00:17:03,827
And down to the ground.
343
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:05,197
Please, Mr. Sanders.
344
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,614
No! I have had it!
345
00:17:06,649 --> 00:17:07,217
What's happening?
346
00:17:07,252 --> 00:17:09,147
Horace's parents want to take him home.
347
00:17:09,182 --> 00:17:10,600
Oh! But he's not ready yet.
348
00:17:10,635 --> 00:17:12,839
Look at what you've done to my boy!
349
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,641
You told Horace that he was
responsible for his weight!
350
00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:17,814
You made him believe that
with exercise and proper diet,
351
00:17:17,815 --> 00:17:21,207
he could be thin! When we
told you it was his genetics!
352
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,961
They can lose the weight if they try.
353
00:17:22,996 --> 00:17:25,256
Look at these kids! They're
not getting any thinner!
354
00:17:25,257 --> 00:17:26,539
Your camp is a fraud!
355
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:30,640
You need to accept the fact that most
fat people are just genetically fat!
356
00:17:30,656 --> 00:17:33,065
Please, sir, if you
give us one more week,…
357
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:33,865
Your time is up!
358
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,299
Yeah, your time is up!
359
00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:39,358
And I'm going to call all the other parents
to tell them to come claim their kids as well!
360
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,174
Your camp is a WASTE …of time!
361
00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:42,926
-But, Dad, I…
-What?!
362
00:17:44,036 --> 00:17:45,039
…Nothin'.
363
00:17:46,257 --> 00:17:47,672
We're in trouble, Rick.
364
00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,637
Alright, Ms. Crabtree.
Is it comf'table enough?
365
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,703
HOW LONG HAVE I GOT TO SIT HERE?
366
00:17:54,738 --> 00:17:55,515
Six hours.
367
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:58,881
HELL, I'LL DO SIX HOURS FOR THE FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS YOU'RE PAYING ME!
368
00:17:58,916 --> 00:17:59,482
Great.
369
00:17:59,517 --> 00:18:02,345
You guys! It's Kenny! He's been
arrested for prostitution in New York!
370
00:18:02,786 --> 00:18:03,343
For what?
371
00:18:03,378 --> 00:18:04,727
For giving Howard Stern a hummer!
372
00:18:04,762 --> 00:18:05,555
Who-what's a hummer??
373
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:08,529
I don't know! All I know is Kenny
is in jail for at least three months!
374
00:18:08,564 --> 00:18:10,796
Three months?! But the
per-per-view is tomorrow!
375
00:18:10,831 --> 00:18:11,530
I know!
376
00:18:14,206 --> 00:18:16,835
He worked so hard, come so close.
377
00:18:16,836 --> 00:18:19,476
Now we'll never see Kenny crawl
up into Ms. Crabtree's uterus.
378
00:18:19,511 --> 00:18:21,856
You know, maybe we've all
learned something here.
379
00:18:21,857 --> 00:18:25,047
I mean, we set Kenny up to further
and further himself each time,
380
00:18:25,048 --> 00:18:26,564
havin' to always outdo himself.
381
00:18:26,565 --> 00:18:28,315
Now he's in jail for being a whore.
382
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,221
And perhaps, just
perhaps, we are to blame.
383
00:18:32,747 --> 00:18:35,460
…Alright, that does it! This has
been bothering the hell out of me!
384
00:18:36,544 --> 00:18:38,961
I knew it! You're not Cartman at all!
385
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,481
Well, we'vee seen him do
just about every disgusting
386
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:47,955
thing in the book, and
today live on pay-per-view,
387
00:18:47,956 --> 00:18:52,640
Krazy Kenny is going to crawl into
a woman's uterus for six hours!
388
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:58,714
Well, Ms. Crabtree, your cervix has been dilated, your womb equipped with oxygen- How do you feel?
389
00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:03,844
I feel great! I haven't had this much
attention paid to my coot since I was 16!
390
00:19:03,879 --> 00:19:04,669
Hooray!
391
00:19:04,704 --> 00:19:08,236
Well, let's bring out the man
of the hour, you know him as the-
392
00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:09,766
Don't wory, dude. You're gonna do great.
393
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:11,669
No way! I'm not doing this!
394
00:19:11,704 --> 00:19:14,644
Hoh, you're doing it, or else we're
gonna bust your whole scheme wide open,
395
00:19:14,645 --> 00:19:17,308
and tell your mom you haven't actually
been at your drug rehab this whole time!
396
00:19:17,343 --> 00:19:18,362
But this isn't fair!
397
00:19:18,397 --> 00:19:19,113
Deal, druggie!
398
00:19:19,148 --> 00:19:20,767
(But I'm gonna starve to
death if I get in there)
399
00:19:21,176 --> 00:19:23,595
And here he is, Kenny McCormick!
400
00:19:31,221 --> 00:19:33,568
We can watch him on the video monitors.
How are you doin' in there, Kenny?
401
00:19:35,379 --> 00:19:36,474
That's my boy!
402
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,854
Good-bye, Chad.
403
00:19:38,889 --> 00:19:40,713
We'll be wanting our refund, naturally.
404
00:19:40,748 --> 00:19:41,716
Naturally.
405
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,315
Good-bye, Alice.
406
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,821
Good-bye. Thank you.
407
00:19:44,856 --> 00:19:46,878
Oh, don't thnak us. We failed you.
408
00:19:46,913 --> 00:19:49,015
…65, 66, 67…
409
00:19:49,919 --> 00:19:51,892
Wait a second! This isn't right!
410
00:19:52,656 --> 00:19:55,227
It's time for me to be
responsible for my own actions!
411
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,512
Mom, Dad, we've been eating
candy this whole time!
412
00:19:58,513 --> 00:20:00,606
Eric Cartman's been
sneaking in junk food!
413
00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:02,334
Eh- shut up,
you half-Chad!
414
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:06,332
No, he's right. The counselors've been
doing a good job. We've just been cheating.
415
00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:07,185
Yeah.
416
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:10,516
I believe I can lose the weight
with exercise and proper diet.
417
00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:12,438
I don't wanna make excuses no more.
418
00:20:12,473 --> 00:20:12,977
Me neither.
419
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:13,563
Yeah.
420
00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:17,032
If you take us back, we
promise we won't cheat.
421
00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:19,491
Well, it's alright with me. Parents?
422
00:20:20,694 --> 00:20:22,007
Well, what the heck.
423
00:20:22,008 --> 00:20:25,025
Maybe when you're all donen you can
teaach me a thing or two, huh son?
424
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:27,191
You know? You guys are right.
425
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:29,512
I'm sick of being the fat kid, too.
426
00:20:29,513 --> 00:20:31,720
I've been making excuses all my life.
427
00:20:31,721 --> 00:20:35,223
But I know deep down that if I took
responsibility and really tried hard,
428
00:20:35,224 --> 00:20:38,425
and we all tried together, well
we really can lose the weight!
429
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,416
Oh no, not you. You're
not welcome here anymore.
430
00:20:41,348 --> 00:20:42,014
What?!
431
00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:42,803
Bubbye.
432
00:20:45,819 --> 00:20:47,358
Well, screw you, fatasses!
433
00:20:53,302 --> 00:20:55,931
Four, three, two, one!
434
00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:58,485
He did it! Come on out, Kenny!
435
00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:01,578
You made it six hours,
Kenny. Come on out of there.
436
00:21:02,852 --> 00:21:04,825
Uh, Ms. Crabtree, maybe you
could give him a little push.
437
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,343
He's dead. The pressure
must have killed him.
438
00:21:14,378 --> 00:21:16,998
I told you I was a tight virgin flower.
439
00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:19,349
Oh my God, they've
killed Kenny! …Sort of.
440
00:21:19,384 --> 00:21:23,585
Yeah. They've kinda killed
Kenny-'s look-alike. You bastards!
441
00:21:23,620 --> 00:21:26,066
Well, he gave his
life for our amusement.
442
00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:28,209
One little boy who
dared to be different.
443
00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:30,727
Let us never forget… Kenny McCormick.
444
00:21:33,106 --> 00:21:34,570
Who was that?
34214
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