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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,262 --> 00:00:15,764 Looking good, Junior. 2 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,835 Hey, you ready to take down Bar Harbor on Saturday? 3 00:00:17,836 --> 00:00:20,907 - That's the plan. - Oh, yeah. 4 00:00:20,908 --> 00:00:23,546 All right, well, let's see how the Mosquito star player 5 00:00:23,547 --> 00:00:25,751 can do against the Hall-of-Famer. 6 00:00:25,752 --> 00:00:29,358 Come on. Okay. Hey, bud. 7 00:00:29,359 --> 00:00:31,261 Hey, you pitched a great game last week, man. 8 00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:34,535 I love cheering you on, buddy. Keep it up, all right? 9 00:00:34,536 --> 00:00:37,407 I used to pitch for the Skeets back in the day, young gun. 10 00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:39,477 You know? I don't know if you've ever heard. 11 00:00:39,478 --> 00:00:42,017 I was known far and wide for the "My Low High Low." 12 00:00:42,018 --> 00:00:44,020 You think you can handle that pitch? 13 00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:45,724 - Bring it on. - Oh! 14 00:01:15,017 --> 00:01:16,352 Oh, no! 15 00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:25,036 Mm... 16 00:01:25,037 --> 00:01:26,573 Good morning, guys. 17 00:01:26,574 --> 00:01:30,180 So, listen, I feel like I just, um, 18 00:01:30,181 --> 00:01:33,052 I have to get really real with you guys. 19 00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:35,356 Like, no gimmicks, no puns. 20 00:01:35,357 --> 00:01:38,797 Just, like, me and you talking. 21 00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:41,068 So, here's the thing. 22 00:01:41,069 --> 00:01:44,440 My mom has been dating this loser, 23 00:01:44,441 --> 00:01:48,616 I call him Dumb-Dumb, for, like, six months now. 24 00:01:48,617 --> 00:01:52,725 And last night at dinner she tells me that he's moving in. 25 00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:56,331 Like, "Pass the potatoes. You have a new dad." 26 00:01:56,332 --> 00:02:00,507 So I made the decision to move out, 27 00:02:00,508 --> 00:02:03,346 and I am not talking with her right now, 28 00:02:03,347 --> 00:02:07,220 which is why I appreciate this community now more than ever. 29 00:02:07,221 --> 00:02:09,959 What in God's name are you doing here? 30 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,097 I have a new show. 31 00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:14,735 Coffee With Elaine. Unfiltered. No Sugar. 32 00:02:14,736 --> 00:02:16,104 Great. I'm sure it'll be a big hit. 33 00:02:16,105 --> 00:02:17,642 No, I mean, why are you here, 34 00:02:17,643 --> 00:02:19,478 sleeping on my sofa? 35 00:02:19,479 --> 00:02:21,650 - I moved out of my house. - Yeah, well, move back in. 36 00:02:21,651 --> 00:02:24,054 I already have one unwanted house guest. 37 00:02:24,055 --> 00:02:25,558 I don't need another. 38 00:02:28,363 --> 00:02:30,233 Do you guys remember when I was telling you about 39 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:34,341 my amazing boss who's almost like a father figure? 40 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,481 Well, he died. 41 00:02:38,517 --> 00:02:40,987 So now I'm stuck with this guy. 42 00:02:56,586 --> 00:02:58,355 Morning! 43 00:02:58,356 --> 00:03:00,827 Don't let the dog get... 44 00:03:00,828 --> 00:03:02,296 Good morning, Sarah. 45 00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:04,101 You should really name that dog. 46 00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:06,672 Oh, I'm not giving him a name and I'm not giving him a home. 47 00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:08,208 - What's going on here? - Oh, I'm... 48 00:03:08,209 --> 00:03:10,079 Clearly, I have a trespasser. 49 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,918 Call the police. Why are you here? 50 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:16,792 Oh, I cut my finger on a rusty old lobster chip. You wanna see? 51 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:18,396 Yeah, no, uh, Elaine will take care of it. 52 00:03:18,397 --> 00:03:20,232 Um, I-I should give you a tetanus shot, though. 53 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:21,802 That Eddie McCroy. 54 00:03:21,803 --> 00:03:26,512 He's been getting into my lobstering territory again. 55 00:03:26,513 --> 00:03:29,652 So I've had to start cutting off his buoys. 56 00:03:29,653 --> 00:03:33,091 You're still feuding with him? When will this madness end? 57 00:03:33,092 --> 00:03:34,562 When he's dead. 58 00:03:34,563 --> 00:03:36,532 I'm gonna knock him out, and then I'm gonna stuff him 59 00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,804 in an old rusty lobster trap, 60 00:03:38,805 --> 00:03:40,574 and then I'm gonna throw him overboard. 61 00:03:40,575 --> 00:03:42,143 I should give you a rabies shot, too. 62 00:03:42,144 --> 00:03:43,981 You're foaming at the mouth. 63 00:03:47,789 --> 00:03:50,126 Hey, look. What do you, uh, what do you think? 64 00:03:50,127 --> 00:03:51,930 I mean, is it, is it cute? 65 00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:54,434 Or does it, does it look like I'm trying too hard? 66 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,673 - I think it's adorable. Yeah. - Really? 67 00:03:56,674 --> 00:03:59,177 I mean, maybe it would look better belted. 68 00:03:59,178 --> 00:04:01,682 Louisa, I know, we're the gays, 69 00:04:01,683 --> 00:04:03,686 but i-it's time you knew the truth. 70 00:04:03,687 --> 00:04:05,322 We don't know anything about fashion. 71 00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:07,528 Um, speak for yourself. 72 00:04:07,529 --> 00:04:10,199 Twenty years ago when I was you-know-who's private chef, 73 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,337 designers, stylists were coming in and out. 74 00:04:12,338 --> 00:04:14,708 And one night I was making dinner for... Ah! 75 00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:16,478 - Ah. - It's killing you, isn't it? 76 00:04:16,479 --> 00:04:18,181 Yes, never sign an NDA. 77 00:04:18,182 --> 00:04:20,185 It's a prison you will never be free from. 78 00:04:20,186 --> 00:04:21,589 Don't you have any female friends 79 00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:22,891 you can talk fashion with? 80 00:04:22,892 --> 00:04:26,700 Well, I-I mean, there-there's Nicole. Um... 81 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:29,070 She moved to Missoula. And then Corinne. 82 00:04:29,071 --> 00:04:31,575 But then she had the twins, so... 83 00:04:31,576 --> 00:04:35,482 And then I guess Mark just kind of became my-my whole world. 84 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,487 Well, I don't know zip about fashion, 85 00:04:37,488 --> 00:04:41,328 but I do know that women need female friends, 86 00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:42,998 if for no other reason, so we can bitch about 87 00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:46,238 all the stupid, ignorant, immature, insensitive stuff 88 00:04:46,239 --> 00:04:49,512 that men do. Present company excluded. 89 00:04:49,513 --> 00:04:52,484 - Oh, stop. - But isn't it a little weird? 90 00:04:52,485 --> 00:04:54,220 I mean, how am I supposed to go about 91 00:04:54,221 --> 00:04:56,391 finding a best friend at my age? 92 00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:59,532 I don't know, maybe at the victory party, 93 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:02,671 when we celebrate our win against Bar Harbor 94 00:05:02,672 --> 00:05:04,976 all night long! 95 00:05:04,977 --> 00:05:07,915 - Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. - Bye, 12-year losing streak. 96 00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:10,085 - Bye, Bar Harbor. - Oh! 97 00:05:10,086 --> 00:05:12,591 Victory is within our grasp! 98 00:05:12,592 --> 00:05:17,333 - Yes, I can taste it. - Go Woodpeckers! 99 00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:21,475 Eddie McCroy, what are you doing here? 100 00:05:21,476 --> 00:05:22,978 Why don't you and your hat go back 101 00:05:22,979 --> 00:05:25,148 to Bar Harbor, where you belong? 102 00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:27,821 I can set my traps anywhere I want. 103 00:05:27,822 --> 00:05:30,994 How about you shut your trap and get the hell out of here? 104 00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:32,630 Okay, okay, let's all calm down 105 00:05:32,631 --> 00:05:35,871 and maybe save this enthusiasm for the baseball diamond? 106 00:05:35,872 --> 00:05:38,042 - Fine. - Fine. 107 00:05:38,043 --> 00:05:40,647 Go Mosquitos! And get this pecker out of here. 108 00:05:40,648 --> 00:05:43,687 It's Woodpecker, and you know that. 109 00:05:45,691 --> 00:05:48,295 This is bad. 110 00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:50,934 I'll handle the diagnosis. Thank you, Elaine. 111 00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:54,207 I messed up, doc. Junior is Skeeters' star player. 112 00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:57,514 Strongest arm, biggest bat, but I should have known that 113 00:05:57,515 --> 00:05:59,818 the "My Low High Low" could still defeat the best! 114 00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:01,455 This is the first time in over a decade 115 00:06:01,456 --> 00:06:03,058 we even had a shot at beating Bar Harbor. 116 00:06:03,059 --> 00:06:04,661 Yeah, if it's all right with the Greek chorus, 117 00:06:04,662 --> 00:06:06,565 I'd like to talk to the patient. 118 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,235 - What did he call us? - Just means shut up. 119 00:06:08,236 --> 00:06:10,406 - Okay. - It's not serious, is it? 120 00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:12,578 I don't know, i-it-it could be a muscle strain, 121 00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:15,550 a-a pinched nerve, or the sign of a more serious problem. 122 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:17,821 Junior, is there someone Elaine should call? 123 00:06:17,822 --> 00:06:20,927 - I already called my dad. - Oh, I'm a dead man. 124 00:06:20,928 --> 00:06:24,300 What happened? What's going on with my son? 125 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,004 - This is your son? - Yeah. 126 00:06:26,005 --> 00:06:28,108 - He's Glendon Jr... - What happened? 127 00:06:28,109 --> 00:06:30,012 I was putting in extra time at batting practice, 128 00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:32,116 like we talked about, and then Mark came. 129 00:06:32,117 --> 00:06:34,889 It wasn't my fault. It was the damn "My Low High Low." 130 00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:38,162 I hurt my back, but I'm fine. I should be good by the game. 131 00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:41,101 Okay. You better be. 132 00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:43,673 You know, I was the star pitcher for the Skeets back in my day? 133 00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:45,710 Do you know how proud it makes me that Junior here 134 00:06:45,711 --> 00:06:48,717 is our best chance of beating Bar Harbor in 12 years? 135 00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:50,854 This kid is already famous around here. 136 00:06:50,855 --> 00:06:55,363 You hear that? Come on, champ. Let's get you into an ice bath. 137 00:06:55,364 --> 00:06:58,569 Just so you know, champ may have a herniated disc 138 00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:00,741 or something else that could lead to further injury. 139 00:07:00,742 --> 00:07:03,345 - We should really just... Ah! - Ah! Ah! 140 00:07:03,346 --> 00:07:05,483 - What happened? - Oh, my arm! 141 00:07:05,484 --> 00:07:07,220 Huh! What? 142 00:07:07,221 --> 00:07:08,957 What did you do to my son? 143 00:07:35,611 --> 00:07:37,781 Looks like he broke his forearm. 144 00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:39,785 It looks like you broke his forearm. 145 00:07:39,786 --> 00:07:41,889 Unbelievable. Oh, y-you've ruined everything. 146 00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:43,893 The game coming up, college scholarships. 147 00:07:43,894 --> 00:07:46,064 No, it-it just doesn't make any sense his arm broke 148 00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:48,503 that easily. I need to do some X-rays to further assess... 149 00:07:48,504 --> 00:07:50,039 Oh, you've done enough. 150 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,813 I'm taking my son to Bar Harbor Hospital. 151 00:07:53,814 --> 00:07:55,850 You'll be hearing from my lawyers. 152 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,521 What? 153 00:07:57,522 --> 00:08:00,560 Ooh! Ha-ha! 154 00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:03,833 I am loving that now this is all your fault. 155 00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,636 - Just, uh... - It's not my fault. Get out. 156 00:08:05,637 --> 00:08:08,643 Ooh! Ha-ha... 157 00:08:08,644 --> 00:08:10,646 It's just like a huge, like, 158 00:08:10,647 --> 00:08:14,588 a huge weight off my shoulders. 159 00:08:14,589 --> 00:08:17,528 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 160 00:08:17,529 --> 00:08:20,299 Hey, I'm sorry about the fight with your mom, 161 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,272 but I like your new show. 162 00:08:23,273 --> 00:08:24,675 Thank you. 163 00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:26,044 I'm trying to be real 164 00:08:26,045 --> 00:08:28,516 because everything else I was doing online 165 00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,520 was just to get, like, likes and views. 166 00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:34,928 But being real is, like, huge right now. 167 00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:36,666 I think it's a great idea, and... 168 00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:40,473 People will fall in love with you just for being you. 169 00:08:57,441 --> 00:08:59,578 Um, Jeannie? 170 00:08:59,579 --> 00:09:02,116 - Hm? - What do you think about this? 171 00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:05,890 I mean, is it cute, or is it trying too hard? 172 00:09:05,891 --> 00:09:08,461 Super cute, but it needs a bow. 173 00:09:08,462 --> 00:09:10,365 Oh, my God. I was wondering that. 174 00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:12,971 Yeah, otherwise it's kind of giving off 175 00:09:12,972 --> 00:09:15,276 "I woke up at a boy's house, and I put on a shirt 176 00:09:15,277 --> 00:09:17,714 because I drank too much, and I slept in my dress" vibes. 177 00:09:17,715 --> 00:09:20,486 That's not what I was going for. 178 00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:22,624 Yeah, I didn't think so. But with a belt... 179 00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:25,195 - Oh. Your belt. Ah. - Yeah. 180 00:09:25,196 --> 00:09:26,633 - It is... Yeah. - Okay. 181 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,503 - It's fun. - Wow! 182 00:09:28,504 --> 00:09:30,606 Oh, you like? 183 00:09:30,607 --> 00:09:33,045 - Mm. - And just tuck that. Oh! 184 00:09:33,046 --> 00:09:34,280 - Okay. - Yes. Okay. 185 00:09:34,281 --> 00:09:38,322 Yeah, now give me a pose. Louisa, yeah, yeah! 186 00:09:38,323 --> 00:09:40,660 Vogue. 187 00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:43,700 - Look at that. Mm-hmm. Ah! - Oh, my God, I love it! 188 00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:45,603 Thank you. 189 00:09:45,604 --> 00:09:48,042 - Anytime. Mm. - Mm... 190 00:09:48,043 --> 00:09:51,347 It's so nice to talk to another woman. 191 00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:52,951 You know, all that time with Mark, I just forgot 192 00:09:52,952 --> 00:09:54,788 how important female friendships are. 193 00:09:54,789 --> 00:09:57,794 - Yeah, they're not that great. - Totally. What? 194 00:09:57,795 --> 00:10:00,199 Isn't it all about finding a man? 195 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,604 Your biological clock doesn't care about sipping Cosmos 196 00:10:02,605 --> 00:10:05,510 and talking about shoes. You know what I mean? 197 00:10:05,511 --> 00:10:08,148 - Oh, but... Oh, you're serious. - Of course. 198 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,354 The last thing I want is to end up single with dried-up old eggs 199 00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:13,392 and my good years behind me. 200 00:10:13,393 --> 00:10:15,663 - No offense. - Oh, me. 201 00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:19,404 Okay. Yeah. 202 00:10:20,675 --> 00:10:23,111 Elaine, can you find me Junior's file? 203 00:10:23,112 --> 00:10:25,517 I am working. 204 00:10:25,518 --> 00:10:27,888 Yes, for me. 205 00:10:28,824 --> 00:10:33,098 He's too young for osteoporosis. 206 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:36,806 Maybe he already had a hairline fracture, something genetic. 207 00:10:42,852 --> 00:10:45,657 Elaine, why can't I find any records before 2020? 208 00:10:45,658 --> 00:10:49,899 Is there a separate drive? Were some of the files not digitized? 209 00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:54,775 Elaine? 210 00:11:00,219 --> 00:11:03,025 Elaine? 211 00:11:03,026 --> 00:11:07,266 Welcome back to Coffee With Elaine. Unfiltered. No Sugar. 212 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:11,742 Mm, since moving out, I've felt super alone. 213 00:11:11,743 --> 00:11:13,311 But we all feel alone sometimes, right? 214 00:11:13,312 --> 00:11:14,480 I would love to feel alone. 215 00:11:14,481 --> 00:11:16,117 Have you found another place to stay? 216 00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:19,023 Mm, I mean, I've always been different. 217 00:11:19,024 --> 00:11:22,429 I-I have this rare thing where my heart is on the wrong side. 218 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:24,400 It's on the right, not the left. 219 00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:27,741 And I can't eat tomatoes because they gross me out. 220 00:11:27,742 --> 00:11:29,879 - Wait, are you a twin? - So... 221 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,314 What does that have to do with tomatoes? 222 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,482 Well, I assure you, nothing. 223 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,521 But situs inversus organ reversal 224 00:11:34,522 --> 00:11:36,892 is most common among identical twins. 225 00:11:36,893 --> 00:11:39,497 I'm not a twin. I don't think. 226 00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,737 Well, wait, how would I know? 227 00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:45,843 I was just a fetus. Am I a twin? 228 00:11:45,844 --> 00:11:49,985 Well, one twin can develop with reversed organs 229 00:11:49,986 --> 00:11:52,891 due to a later-than-usual embryonic split, so... 230 00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:55,563 Why would my mother never mention that? 231 00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:58,301 What, did she have to give up one twin for adoption 232 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:00,038 because she couldn't afford to raise us both? 233 00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:02,878 Oh, my God. No wonder she's always resented me. 234 00:12:02,879 --> 00:12:05,148 She thinks that she chose the wrong twin. 235 00:12:05,149 --> 00:12:07,086 Could my twin just, like, be out there somewhere? 236 00:12:07,087 --> 00:12:08,756 And if so, does she have an extra bedroom? 237 00:12:08,757 --> 00:12:10,693 Doc, could you try to find my mom's files 238 00:12:10,694 --> 00:12:11,795 from the day that I was born? 239 00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:13,699 Sure. Anything else? Coffee? 240 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,336 No, I have. 241 00:12:15,337 --> 00:12:17,641 The only thing worse than having you as an assistant 242 00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:19,143 would be having two of you as assistants. 243 00:12:19,144 --> 00:12:21,480 Now, I need you to find me Glendon Jr.'s file 244 00:12:21,481 --> 00:12:23,987 and his family's files. Thank you. 245 00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:31,034 In the meantime, if you know someone who looks like me 246 00:12:31,035 --> 00:12:34,274 but is not me, please put that in the comments. 247 00:12:36,846 --> 00:12:40,787 Well, that stinks. 248 00:12:40,788 --> 00:12:42,223 Now that Junior's injured, 249 00:12:42,224 --> 00:12:45,362 I guess there goes the championship. 250 00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:48,836 Oh, that pasta salad did not hit the spot. 251 00:12:48,837 --> 00:12:51,074 Well, we made the playoffs. 252 00:12:51,075 --> 00:12:52,945 That's still a huge accomplishment. 253 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:56,251 Save it for the kids, Louisa. I needed a win. 254 00:12:56,252 --> 00:12:59,591 That was my pasta salad, by the way. 255 00:12:59,592 --> 00:13:01,662 - You made it? - Yes, I did. 256 00:13:01,663 --> 00:13:04,400 And I brought it as my lunch. 257 00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:07,306 So I guess Mark did the cooking when you two were together? 258 00:13:09,077 --> 00:13:10,179 Yeah. 259 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:14,119 - Oh, my God. - What? 260 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,890 Someone must have left this in the printer. 261 00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,459 Oh, that's not interesting. 262 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:18,562 It's for Principal Halloway 263 00:13:18,563 --> 00:13:20,666 from the county school board. 264 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:24,240 They might have to shut the school down. Budget cuts. 265 00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:28,014 - Well, maybe it's for the best. - How is this for the best? 266 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:29,985 I am wasting my youth here. 267 00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:32,122 None of the kids' dads are even hot. 268 00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:35,095 Okay. What about the kids? We have to do something. 269 00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:38,102 No, it-it's not so great for the kids. 270 00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:43,980 This is her. This has to be her. She looks just like me. 271 00:13:43,981 --> 00:13:46,184 That is you. That's your Facebook page. Who's next? 272 00:13:46,185 --> 00:13:50,560 I am. Because of you, I need something for depression. 273 00:13:50,561 --> 00:13:53,331 That Skeets victory was all I had to live for. 274 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,935 Yeah, rooting for the Skeets was 275 00:13:54,936 --> 00:13:57,273 one of the only things Freda and I had in common. 276 00:13:57,274 --> 00:13:59,010 We got engaged to the Skeets game. 277 00:13:59,011 --> 00:14:01,281 You've killed baseball and you've killed our marriage! 278 00:14:01,282 --> 00:14:03,151 What's the medical reason you're here? 279 00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:05,022 Arnold needs his hearing checked. 280 00:14:05,023 --> 00:14:07,527 Freda's yelling broke my eardrums. 281 00:14:07,528 --> 00:14:09,297 Oh, that's not true. 282 00:14:09,298 --> 00:14:11,535 - That's not true! - You're right, it's not. 283 00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,572 My hearing's fine. I've just stopped listening to you. 284 00:14:13,573 --> 00:14:15,910 Oh, yeah, I know that. Are you up... What is this? 285 00:14:15,911 --> 00:14:17,647 It's a prescription for a divorce. 286 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:18,916 - Oh. - Mr. Collins, you're up next. 287 00:14:18,917 --> 00:14:21,020 - Uh-huh. - Hey, doc. Hey, everybody. 288 00:14:21,021 --> 00:14:23,892 Hey, brought you some donuts from the Salty Breeze 289 00:14:23,893 --> 00:14:25,796 'cause, you know, we're buds. 290 00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:27,366 Yeah, that's not how I would characterize it. 291 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,439 Oh, and 'cause I really, really like you and respect you. 292 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,377 Are you proposing or is there a point here? 293 00:14:33,378 --> 00:14:35,816 You see, um... 294 00:14:35,817 --> 00:14:37,486 - Glendon... - Glendon. Oh. 295 00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:40,058 You mean the father whose son may have brittle bones, 296 00:14:40,059 --> 00:14:43,599 but who cares as long as the Skeets win on Saturday? 297 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,104 Yeah, about that. Um, can I speak to you privately? 298 00:14:46,105 --> 00:14:48,241 I don't have the time, Mark. 299 00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:49,778 - I think you do. - I really don't. 300 00:14:49,779 --> 00:14:51,781 No, I really think you do. 301 00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:54,020 Mark, I'm really not enjoying this. 302 00:14:54,856 --> 00:14:57,160 Okay. Okay. 303 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,467 - Are you Martin Best? - Yes. 304 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:05,176 - Do you reside at 3 Main Street? - Uh, what is this? 305 00:15:07,214 --> 00:15:09,751 Okay. I'm just doing my job. I'm really sorry, man. 306 00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:12,691 You've been served. Glendon is suing you for malpractice. 307 00:15:12,692 --> 00:15:14,994 Ah! 308 00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:25,148 - Malpractice? - You did break a boy's arm. 309 00:15:25,149 --> 00:15:27,119 No, I didn't break his arm, he had 310 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,523 some kind of pre-existing condition. 311 00:15:28,524 --> 00:15:31,127 He sure did. He used to be a good baseball player. 312 00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:33,131 It's not amusing. 313 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,268 I-I, this lawsuit is as ridiculous 314 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,239 as having a mosquito as your mascot. 315 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,278 Oh, come on now. Let's not say things we're gonna regret. 316 00:15:40,279 --> 00:15:42,517 I am not the reason Junior broke his arm. 317 00:15:42,518 --> 00:15:44,621 If I could just examine him, 318 00:15:44,622 --> 00:15:48,160 see a family medical history, or look at an X-ray, 319 00:15:48,161 --> 00:15:49,531 I could figure out why it happened. 320 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,668 Exactly. I know, I believe you, doc. 321 00:15:51,669 --> 00:15:55,341 You're a good man. But I would still lawyer up. 322 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,284 Hello? 323 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,453 The two of us can't sleep 324 00:16:34,454 --> 00:16:36,224 with you making all of that noise. 325 00:16:36,225 --> 00:16:38,962 Neither you, nor the dog who shall not be named, 326 00:16:38,963 --> 00:16:40,164 should be sleeping in my house. 327 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,202 We're not sleeping at your house. 328 00:16:42,203 --> 00:16:44,541 Because you're making too much racket. That's what I'm saying. 329 00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:46,210 I think I know what you're saying. 330 00:16:46,211 --> 00:16:48,550 Anyway, just... Why do I even bother? 331 00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:54,795 This kid either had a pre-existing fracture, 332 00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,297 or he has brittle bones. 333 00:16:56,298 --> 00:16:58,936 In which case, something is causing that condition. 334 00:16:58,937 --> 00:17:00,472 Something that should be addressed medically. 335 00:17:00,473 --> 00:17:03,478 And a clue might be in his records, right? 336 00:17:03,479 --> 00:17:06,083 You'd think it'd be in his records. But Dr. Reese, right? 337 00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:08,354 Unfortunately, Dr. Reese, who everyone loved, 338 00:17:08,355 --> 00:17:12,797 didn't bother to digitize all his files before he died. 339 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:15,636 This town is a nightmare. 340 00:17:15,637 --> 00:17:17,907 Yeah, it kind of can be. 341 00:17:17,908 --> 00:17:20,312 Some ways I'm glad my twin sister got out. 342 00:17:21,650 --> 00:17:22,651 Mm. 343 00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:35,610 Ah. Ah. 344 00:17:36,713 --> 00:17:38,616 Thank you for seeing me. 345 00:17:38,617 --> 00:17:40,285 I hope you're here to cheer me up. 346 00:17:40,286 --> 00:17:42,557 Well, I, I know, it's not good news. 347 00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:45,128 You are telling me. 348 00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:49,237 234 days straight I'm the Wordle king. 349 00:17:49,238 --> 00:17:52,877 And I forget to play one day, one day, 350 00:17:52,878 --> 00:17:54,614 and streak over? 351 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,152 I mean, it just, it just slipped my mind. It just, it... 352 00:17:57,153 --> 00:17:59,289 How could it just slip my mind? 353 00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:02,362 Well, uh, well, maybe you were preoccupied by the idea 354 00:18:02,363 --> 00:18:05,569 that our school might close. 355 00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:08,241 No. No. No. 356 00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:11,147 But you know what? That's depressing, too. 357 00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:13,519 I really loved being the principal here. 358 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,526 Loved? Well, well, it's-it's-it's just over? 359 00:18:17,527 --> 00:18:21,067 I mean, w-w-we aren't gonna, gonna fight this? Heh-heh. 360 00:18:21,068 --> 00:18:23,437 I think losing our star player is a sign 361 00:18:23,438 --> 00:18:25,676 that we just, we can't compete. 362 00:18:25,677 --> 00:18:28,181 You know, this is how it goes at small schools. 363 00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:31,187 - We had a good run. - Uh... 364 00:18:31,188 --> 00:18:33,190 Don't you care what happens to our students? 365 00:18:33,191 --> 00:18:34,895 I know what'll happen to them. 366 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,832 They'll all get bused to Bar Harbor. 367 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:40,105 And although it's a bit of a commute, you know, at least 368 00:18:40,106 --> 00:18:44,180 they'll have the opportunity to experience victory for a change. 369 00:18:50,459 --> 00:18:52,195 What's that long face about? 370 00:18:52,196 --> 00:18:54,501 Oh, it's nothing. 371 00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:56,470 - What happened to you? - Oh, nothin'. 372 00:18:56,471 --> 00:18:58,575 Eddie McCroy cut some of my traps loose, 373 00:18:58,576 --> 00:19:00,546 so I had to punch out some windows on his boat. 374 00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:03,084 You punched out glass windows? 375 00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:05,322 No, dammit. It was too strong. 376 00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:07,761 Look at this. Did I break these fingers? 377 00:19:07,762 --> 00:19:10,098 - Hey! Hey! - Let me see. 378 00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:11,601 Oh, what did you do now? 379 00:19:11,602 --> 00:19:14,608 Oh, I may have inquired about some records. 380 00:19:14,609 --> 00:19:18,080 You went to Bar Harbor and tried to access my son's X-rays? 381 00:19:18,081 --> 00:19:20,586 Look, you, you have some nerve. 382 00:19:20,587 --> 00:19:23,325 - Aunt Sarah, inside. - And miss this? 383 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,203 Now, you know what's nervy? 384 00:19:29,204 --> 00:19:30,640 You're suing the only doctor who seems 385 00:19:30,641 --> 00:19:32,475 concerned about your son's brittle bones. 386 00:19:32,476 --> 00:19:34,079 You sure you wanna talk to me that way? 387 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,381 I don't wanna talk to you at all. 388 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,019 No problem. That's what we have lawyers for. 389 00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:39,757 - Good luck proving your case. - Yeah, I don't need luck. 390 00:19:39,758 --> 00:19:44,734 I know someone who knows someone at Boston Memorial Hospital. 391 00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:45,970 Are you suing them, too? 392 00:19:45,971 --> 00:19:47,907 I know you had some kind of meltdown, 393 00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:50,212 and that's why you're not a surgeon anymore. 394 00:19:50,213 --> 00:19:52,817 I can't wait to tell that to a judge. 395 00:19:52,818 --> 00:19:55,656 - And everyone else in town. - Have at it? 396 00:19:55,657 --> 00:19:58,996 I am not scared of you or any nonsense you think you know. 397 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,504 Nice try... 398 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:05,609 That may fool some people around here, 399 00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:06,879 but not me. 400 00:20:18,770 --> 00:20:20,840 Ow! 401 00:20:20,841 --> 00:20:22,610 - Ooh. - Ah. 402 00:20:22,611 --> 00:20:25,617 Ah. Ow. 403 00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:30,492 Ah. Ow. Ow. 404 00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,937 Since we don't have anyone scheduled for an hour, 405 00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:54,841 I might go talk to my mom. 406 00:20:54,842 --> 00:20:57,714 That's fine. I have business to take care of at the school. Hm. 407 00:20:57,715 --> 00:21:00,451 The thing is, these past few days, 408 00:21:00,452 --> 00:21:04,292 living with somebody so sad and lonely 409 00:21:04,293 --> 00:21:07,466 has made me realize how important family is, 410 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,169 especially when you're old. 411 00:21:09,170 --> 00:21:10,606 So even though I said I would 412 00:21:10,607 --> 00:21:12,175 never talk to my mom again, 413 00:21:12,176 --> 00:21:13,478 I think that it is important 414 00:21:13,479 --> 00:21:15,849 that I put my anger aside 415 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:19,825 and find out what happened to my beloved twin sister. 416 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,919 Elaine! 417 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,356 Oh! I'm so happy to see you. 418 00:21:36,357 --> 00:21:38,529 Did I have an identical twin? 419 00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,803 - Yes. - You gave her up for adoption? 420 00:21:42,804 --> 00:21:44,339 - No! - Oh. 421 00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:46,477 Okay, so could she still be out there somewhere? 422 00:21:46,478 --> 00:21:48,314 What, did you put her in a basket outside of a firehouse? 423 00:21:48,315 --> 00:21:49,818 - Or something? - No, no, no, no. 424 00:21:49,819 --> 00:21:51,754 - Is she dead? - No... 425 00:21:51,755 --> 00:21:53,993 - Well... - So what happened to her? 426 00:21:55,396 --> 00:21:57,265 - You ate her. - What? 427 00:21:57,266 --> 00:21:59,604 Uh, uh, you know, you absorbed her. 428 00:21:59,605 --> 00:22:02,209 It-it-it was in-utero. It was very early on. 429 00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:03,645 I didn't wanna tell you because I know 430 00:22:03,646 --> 00:22:05,215 how you can overreact sometimes. 431 00:22:05,216 --> 00:22:06,986 Overreact? 432 00:22:09,658 --> 00:22:12,530 Great, so I'm a sister-eating cannibal. 433 00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:15,268 For me to live, somebody had to die? 434 00:22:15,269 --> 00:22:16,905 This is why I go around always feeling 435 00:22:16,906 --> 00:22:19,810 like something is missing, I have a big hole in my heart? 436 00:22:19,811 --> 00:22:21,246 I think what you're describing is 437 00:22:21,247 --> 00:22:23,652 a human condition, but continue. 438 00:22:23,653 --> 00:22:25,088 So what else haven't you told me? 439 00:22:25,089 --> 00:22:27,727 Nothing. Except... 440 00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,632 I miss you. 441 00:22:30,633 --> 00:22:32,837 And I want you to move back home. 442 00:22:32,838 --> 00:22:35,910 Well, I bet. I'm the only child you have left. 443 00:22:35,911 --> 00:22:38,047 Honey, I know there's plenty of room for all of us 444 00:22:38,048 --> 00:22:39,416 back at the house. 445 00:22:39,417 --> 00:22:42,289 I was hoping that you'd warm up to the idea of... 446 00:22:42,290 --> 00:22:44,293 Dumb-Dumb? 447 00:22:44,294 --> 00:22:45,563 I wish you wouldn't call him that. 448 00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:47,065 What would you prefer that I call him? 449 00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:51,307 - Well, stepdad. - What? 450 00:22:51,308 --> 00:22:53,579 - He asked me to marry him. - What? Uh... 451 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:56,117 Don't overreact. We-we wanna get married next week. 452 00:22:56,118 --> 00:22:59,691 Next week? Oh, my God, please tell me that he's dying! 453 00:22:59,692 --> 00:23:01,595 And you're granting him his last request. 454 00:23:01,596 --> 00:23:04,399 Or just some kind of blackmail situation that's going on. 455 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,702 Or have you just lost your mind? 456 00:23:05,703 --> 00:23:07,438 Honey, I love him, and I don't 457 00:23:07,439 --> 00:23:08,709 wanna wait one other second, but 458 00:23:08,710 --> 00:23:11,446 I would really like your blessing. 459 00:23:11,447 --> 00:23:12,751 My bl... 460 00:23:15,022 --> 00:23:16,190 Not possible. 461 00:23:17,728 --> 00:23:20,198 We went through such a tough time together... 462 00:23:21,068 --> 00:23:22,202 you and I. 463 00:23:23,205 --> 00:23:25,876 But it's been six years now. 464 00:23:25,877 --> 00:23:29,618 I was hoping that you would at least understand. 465 00:23:29,619 --> 00:23:31,955 Well, I was hoping I had a twin sister. 466 00:23:31,956 --> 00:23:35,028 But I ate her. So we can't have everything. 467 00:23:51,495 --> 00:23:52,897 - Do you bruise easily? - Why? 468 00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:54,534 Are you gonna punch me in the face now? 469 00:23:54,535 --> 00:23:56,337 - Yes or no? - No. 470 00:23:56,338 --> 00:23:57,973 Any breathing issues? 471 00:23:57,974 --> 00:24:00,211 - No, not that I know of. - All right, open your eyes. 472 00:24:00,212 --> 00:24:03,451 - Wide. - Oh. Uh, Dr. Best. Dr. Best. 473 00:24:03,452 --> 00:24:05,155 - Look up. - What, w-what are you doing? 474 00:24:05,156 --> 00:24:08,260 Checking for blue sclera. You see here? No bluish tint. 475 00:24:08,261 --> 00:24:10,733 That means we know it's probably not osteogenesis imperfecta. 476 00:24:10,734 --> 00:24:12,301 Okay, but I don't think it's appropriate for you 477 00:24:12,302 --> 00:24:14,641 to be examining a student without his parent present. 478 00:24:14,642 --> 00:24:16,511 - Yeah, dude. You're a creep. - Yeah. 479 00:24:16,512 --> 00:24:18,381 Well, I wouldn't have to if your parent 480 00:24:18,382 --> 00:24:19,985 were a little more helpful. 481 00:24:21,555 --> 00:24:24,359 I-I just, I need to know what happened, okay? 482 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,899 I, I'm being sued for malpractice. 483 00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:28,434 Right? This kid's health is on the line. 484 00:24:28,435 --> 00:24:29,804 I'm the only one in town who seems to care. 485 00:24:29,805 --> 00:24:32,977 Okay, okay. I-I get it. I, I do. 486 00:24:32,978 --> 00:24:35,314 I, I just found out that 487 00:24:35,315 --> 00:24:37,953 this school might be closing due to lack of funding. 488 00:24:37,954 --> 00:24:41,628 Yeah. I'm not surprised. I mean, it's economics. 489 00:24:41,629 --> 00:24:43,933 I mean, school serves too few students. 490 00:24:43,934 --> 00:24:47,973 - It's not financially feasible. - But also, I might lose my job. 491 00:24:47,974 --> 00:24:51,681 I mean, this is the only job that I ever wanted, 492 00:24:51,682 --> 00:24:54,419 and basically the only real job I ever had. 493 00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:55,823 Does no one understand that? 494 00:24:55,824 --> 00:24:57,058 I mean, I thought, I thought 495 00:24:57,059 --> 00:24:58,562 maybe because of the malpractice suit, 496 00:24:58,563 --> 00:24:59,964 you, you could relate. 497 00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:02,402 I'm not losing my job. I'll prove I was right. 498 00:25:02,403 --> 00:25:04,608 - You just watch me. - What? 499 00:25:16,865 --> 00:25:19,403 Let me guess. That's Eddie McCroy's truck. 500 00:25:19,404 --> 00:25:22,308 Yeah. You want me to get Glendon for ya? 501 00:25:22,309 --> 00:25:24,179 No. Go home. 502 00:25:37,173 --> 00:25:39,577 Well, look. It's Dr. Downer. 503 00:25:39,578 --> 00:25:41,246 Everybody lock your doors tonight. 504 00:25:41,247 --> 00:25:43,585 He already broke an arm. God knows what he'll do next. 505 00:25:43,586 --> 00:25:45,020 - Gosh, Freda. - The usual? 506 00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:46,591 Garden salad with chicken nougat? 507 00:25:46,592 --> 00:25:48,728 Emphasis on the to-go part. 508 00:25:48,729 --> 00:25:51,167 I think everyone here would like you to go as well. 509 00:25:52,336 --> 00:25:54,173 - Hey... - Oh, come on. 510 00:25:55,644 --> 00:25:57,613 I have no idea why he's laughing that hard. 511 00:25:57,614 --> 00:25:59,049 Well, can you tell me about Glendon Ross Jr.? 512 00:25:59,050 --> 00:26:00,752 Does he eat here? What does he like to order? 513 00:26:00,753 --> 00:26:03,992 You wanna bring him something as an apology? 514 00:26:03,993 --> 00:26:06,999 That's not going to heal his arm before Saturday. 515 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,935 You know, I have nothing to apologize for. 516 00:26:08,936 --> 00:26:11,874 - I-I just need any reason... - Don't worry, doc. 517 00:26:11,875 --> 00:26:14,346 This will all calm down after the game. 518 00:26:14,347 --> 00:26:15,883 And, look, you never know. 519 00:26:15,884 --> 00:26:18,020 The team could still win without Junior. 520 00:26:18,021 --> 00:26:20,491 Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz... 521 00:26:20,492 --> 00:26:22,362 For God's sakes, people. Okay? 522 00:26:22,363 --> 00:26:24,032 - This is not the World Series. - Ah. 523 00:26:24,033 --> 00:26:26,337 This is a high school baseball game. 524 00:26:27,472 --> 00:26:29,476 You heard me. 525 00:26:29,477 --> 00:26:31,046 It's our World Series, doc. 526 00:26:31,047 --> 00:26:32,649 These people went to Port Wenn Day School 527 00:26:32,650 --> 00:26:34,520 from kindergarten through 12th. 528 00:26:34,521 --> 00:26:36,624 We're all Mosquitos at heart. 529 00:26:36,625 --> 00:26:38,662 And we've all waited 12 years 530 00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:41,233 to beat those snooty Bar Harbor Peckers! 531 00:26:44,608 --> 00:26:46,010 - Their team is the Woodpeckers. - Yup. 532 00:26:46,011 --> 00:26:48,080 How long does it take to make a salad? 533 00:26:48,081 --> 00:26:49,985 Oh, oh. Melissa. 534 00:26:50,653 --> 00:26:52,156 Coming right up. 535 00:27:59,457 --> 00:28:02,095 Hi, friends. Guess what? 536 00:28:02,096 --> 00:28:06,370 Not only is my mother engaged to Dumb-Dumb... 537 00:28:08,208 --> 00:28:12,282 I ate my twin sister. 538 00:28:12,283 --> 00:28:14,520 It's right here. Went down to the basement. 539 00:28:14,521 --> 00:28:16,023 It's right here in the files. 540 00:28:16,024 --> 00:28:18,494 What? There are paper files in the basement? 541 00:28:18,495 --> 00:28:21,166 It's called Vanishing Twin Syndrome. 542 00:28:21,167 --> 00:28:24,273 It's a really nice way of saying I ate my sister. 543 00:28:24,274 --> 00:28:26,010 Elaine, why didn't you tell me? 544 00:28:26,011 --> 00:28:27,646 - Uh... - It's so dirty down there... 545 00:28:27,647 --> 00:28:29,717 I honestly think I just blocked it out. 546 00:28:29,718 --> 00:28:31,555 But now that it's about something important... 547 00:28:31,556 --> 00:28:35,294 "But now that it's important..." You mean it's saving my reput... 548 00:28:35,295 --> 00:28:36,764 I don't, I don't even know why I bother. 549 00:28:36,765 --> 00:28:38,033 Oh, but watch out for that... 550 00:28:42,376 --> 00:28:44,279 one step. 551 00:29:05,289 --> 00:29:06,525 Aha! 552 00:29:09,363 --> 00:29:12,368 Guess what? Glendon Jr. only has one kidney. 553 00:29:12,369 --> 00:29:15,475 Well, don't let him near me. I might try to eat the other one. 554 00:29:15,476 --> 00:29:19,115 The kidneys regulate calcium, vitamin D and phosphorus levels. 555 00:29:19,116 --> 00:29:20,853 With only one, that might have something to do with why 556 00:29:20,854 --> 00:29:22,589 his arm broke so easily. 557 00:29:22,590 --> 00:29:23,692 Now I just need to see Junior 558 00:29:23,693 --> 00:29:25,796 and ask him some questions. 559 00:29:28,068 --> 00:29:29,871 Why is he giving me this? 560 00:29:30,806 --> 00:29:32,943 Hey, doc. I come bearing lattes. 561 00:29:32,944 --> 00:29:35,949 Uh, Elaine can have mine. I, uh, don't drink foam. 562 00:29:35,950 --> 00:29:39,289 Yeah, give me. Better latte than never. 563 00:29:39,290 --> 00:29:41,092 Oh. 564 00:29:41,093 --> 00:29:42,963 The bar for humor in this town is very low. 565 00:29:42,964 --> 00:29:45,669 Uh, anyway, doc, I know that we're buds and all. 566 00:29:45,670 --> 00:29:47,606 And I really like and respect you. 567 00:29:47,607 --> 00:29:49,676 - Wait, what-what's going on? - I'm really sorry, man. 568 00:29:49,677 --> 00:29:53,117 - Are you Dr. Martin Best? - You already served me papers. 569 00:29:53,118 --> 00:29:55,454 These are new papers. This is a restraining order. 570 00:29:55,455 --> 00:29:57,225 - What? - I'm really sorry, man. 571 00:29:57,226 --> 00:29:59,530 You're not allowed to contact Glendon Ross Jr. at school. 572 00:29:59,531 --> 00:30:02,001 You're not allowed to contact Glendon Ross Jr. at home. 573 00:30:02,002 --> 00:30:03,838 You're not allowed to contact anyone in the Ross family 574 00:30:03,839 --> 00:30:05,809 or be within 300 feet of them. 575 00:30:05,810 --> 00:30:07,646 Are you kidding me? A restraining order? 576 00:30:07,647 --> 00:30:10,018 I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with his son. 577 00:30:10,019 --> 00:30:12,154 I'm really sorry, man. You wanna go, like, shoot, like, darts o... 578 00:30:12,155 --> 00:30:13,591 No, I don't wanna go shoot darts! 579 00:30:13,592 --> 00:30:16,029 I don't ever wanna see you again. 580 00:30:16,030 --> 00:30:17,599 You mean, like, in this capacity, though, right? 581 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,436 Like, serving you papers, right? 582 00:30:20,607 --> 00:30:22,543 - Sure. - It's Louisa. 583 00:30:22,544 --> 00:30:24,780 She says it's an emergency. She needs to talk right away. 584 00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:26,217 Really? 585 00:30:27,019 --> 00:30:29,122 Oh, it's for you. 586 00:30:29,123 --> 00:30:32,027 Good. I should go. 587 00:30:32,028 --> 00:30:34,934 It's Junior. He's in excruciating pain. 588 00:30:34,935 --> 00:30:36,571 Can you please come to the school and see him? 589 00:30:36,572 --> 00:30:38,307 I would love to come see Junior, but his father 590 00:30:38,308 --> 00:30:40,010 just took out a restraining order against me. 591 00:30:40,011 --> 00:30:41,915 I don't wanna hear excuses. He's in terrible pain. 592 00:30:41,916 --> 00:30:44,218 You're just five minutes away, so find a way! 593 00:30:50,867 --> 00:30:52,770 There, just... 594 00:30:52,771 --> 00:30:55,007 Yeah. Oh. 595 00:30:55,008 --> 00:30:57,880 Okay, okay, yup, yup, yup. Oh, oh. 596 00:30:57,881 --> 00:30:59,683 - Oh, gosh. Okay. - Oh, my God. Sorry. 597 00:30:59,684 --> 00:31:01,019 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 598 00:31:05,395 --> 00:31:07,031 Hm. Hm. 599 00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:09,002 Here. 600 00:31:10,439 --> 00:31:14,613 Um, he's-he's having these horrible waves of stabbing pain. 601 00:31:14,614 --> 00:31:18,153 On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain? 602 00:31:18,154 --> 00:31:19,624 Oh, 11. 603 00:31:22,162 --> 00:31:23,264 Just... 604 00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:25,935 - Ah! Ah. - Oh, God. 605 00:31:27,439 --> 00:31:29,576 I think you might have a kidney stone, which needs to be 606 00:31:29,577 --> 00:31:31,981 broken up sooner than later, since you only have one kidney, 607 00:31:31,982 --> 00:31:34,853 a fact you could have mentioned. But, hey, here we are. 608 00:31:34,854 --> 00:31:36,825 Louisa, will you call the paramedics? 609 00:31:36,826 --> 00:31:39,195 Yeah, um, of course. 610 00:31:39,196 --> 00:31:40,665 That explains the back pain. 611 00:31:40,666 --> 00:31:41,935 What does a kidney stone have 612 00:31:41,936 --> 00:31:42,970 to do with brittle bones? 613 00:31:42,971 --> 00:31:44,272 How should I know? 614 00:31:44,273 --> 00:31:45,842 Unless 615 00:31:45,843 --> 00:31:47,947 you're not processing protein. 616 00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:51,220 Then you would have to be overdosing it. 617 00:31:51,221 --> 00:31:53,090 Are we consuming an excess of protein? 618 00:31:53,091 --> 00:31:54,960 Well, I do try to bulk up during the season. 619 00:31:54,961 --> 00:31:57,265 With what? Whole buffaloes? 620 00:31:58,101 --> 00:32:00,371 - In there. - Oh. 621 00:32:00,372 --> 00:32:02,709 Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. 622 00:32:02,710 --> 00:32:04,713 All right, ambulance is on its way. 623 00:32:07,253 --> 00:32:08,621 How much protein powder have you been taking? 624 00:32:08,622 --> 00:32:11,994 Oh, I don't know, like one of those a week. 625 00:32:11,995 --> 00:32:13,430 This should last you for a month. 626 00:32:13,431 --> 00:32:14,900 How long have you been abusing this stuff? 627 00:32:14,901 --> 00:32:16,003 I wouldn't call it abusing. 628 00:32:16,004 --> 00:32:17,272 It's protein powder. 629 00:32:17,273 --> 00:32:19,242 Yeah, well, your one kidney disagrees. 630 00:32:19,243 --> 00:32:22,281 I started sophomore year, but like I said, I ramp it up 631 00:32:22,282 --> 00:32:24,252 during baseball season. I needed to bulk up for... 632 00:32:24,253 --> 00:32:26,557 Yeah, well, you can forget about the playoffs, okay? 633 00:32:26,558 --> 00:32:28,961 You shouldn't be doing anything physical or strenuous right now. 634 00:32:28,962 --> 00:32:31,399 You can break like a twig. You need to rest. 635 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,239 Stop taking the protein powder, and get your bone health back. 636 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:35,909 Then I need to tell my dad. 637 00:32:35,910 --> 00:32:37,411 Well, of course you need to tell your dad. 638 00:32:37,412 --> 00:32:39,182 But then it might sound like it's my fault. 639 00:32:39,183 --> 00:32:42,154 - It is your fault. - Well, he can't know that! 640 00:32:42,155 --> 00:32:43,725 He was really excited about playoffs. 641 00:32:43,726 --> 00:32:46,396 - It's a championship. - He is suing me for malpractice. 642 00:32:46,397 --> 00:32:48,433 I could lose my job. The town could lose its doctor. 643 00:32:48,434 --> 00:32:52,141 It's awful, isn't it, the future being so insecure, 644 00:32:52,142 --> 00:32:53,879 not knowing if you're gonna keep your job? 645 00:32:58,421 --> 00:33:01,126 What about the restraining order? 646 00:33:01,127 --> 00:33:04,299 And you're not even supposed to be near me, right? 647 00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:06,538 I could have you arrested for even being here. 648 00:33:07,773 --> 00:33:09,309 Just, I wanna get this straight. 649 00:33:09,310 --> 00:33:10,912 Are you threatening me after 650 00:33:10,913 --> 00:33:13,618 I climb through a window to help you? 651 00:33:13,619 --> 00:33:15,522 Uh, uh... 652 00:33:15,523 --> 00:33:17,324 Yes? 653 00:33:17,325 --> 00:33:19,530 - I thought so. - You should go. 654 00:33:19,531 --> 00:33:20,633 Yes. 655 00:33:27,514 --> 00:33:29,416 Oh. 656 00:33:29,417 --> 00:33:32,055 - Yeah. Got it? Oh. - Uh, yeah. 657 00:33:32,056 --> 00:33:33,291 Yeah, no. 658 00:33:36,799 --> 00:33:38,200 Yes. 659 00:33:38,201 --> 00:33:40,938 I can imagine it's difficult. 660 00:33:40,939 --> 00:33:43,578 With the school possibly closing. 661 00:33:43,579 --> 00:33:45,480 And, Junior, don't worry, with a simple sound-wave 662 00:33:45,481 --> 00:33:47,218 procedure to break up the stone, you should be as good... 663 00:33:47,219 --> 00:33:49,523 - Forget it. Go. Go, go. Come on. - Oh, okay, I'm just... 664 00:33:49,524 --> 00:33:51,861 - Yeah. Whoo! - Have fun. 665 00:33:51,862 --> 00:33:54,432 Okay. Uh... 666 00:33:59,109 --> 00:34:01,212 My God! What have you done now? 667 00:34:01,213 --> 00:34:05,087 Nothing. Couldn't find any dynamite. 668 00:34:05,088 --> 00:34:07,793 What? We are not a family of criminals. 669 00:34:07,794 --> 00:34:10,799 I'm kidding, you're the one with a restraining order 670 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,070 and a lawsuit against ya. 671 00:34:13,071 --> 00:34:15,240 - Are you doing okay? - I'm fine. Yeah. 672 00:34:15,241 --> 00:34:16,844 I mean, I might lose my job because of that 673 00:34:16,845 --> 00:34:18,981 blustering, egomaniacal asshat. 674 00:34:18,982 --> 00:34:22,254 - It's insanity. - Oh, wait a minute. 675 00:34:22,255 --> 00:34:25,762 Does that mean that you actually wanna keep your job here? 676 00:34:25,763 --> 00:34:27,398 - Of course. - You... 677 00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:29,837 You wanna continue to practice medicine 678 00:34:29,838 --> 00:34:32,842 here in Port Wenn? You like it here? 679 00:34:32,843 --> 00:34:34,547 - That's not what I said. - Aw. 680 00:34:34,548 --> 00:34:36,550 - That's not what I said. - Aw, come on now. 681 00:34:36,551 --> 00:34:40,490 Admit it, admit it. You're starting to be happy here. 682 00:34:40,491 --> 00:34:42,428 Nope, not what I said. It's the principle. 683 00:34:42,429 --> 00:34:45,368 - Release me, please. - All right, how about this? 684 00:34:45,369 --> 00:34:49,442 How about I take out your rival and you take out mine? 685 00:34:49,443 --> 00:34:51,514 Mm. This has been constructive. Yeah. 686 00:34:51,515 --> 00:34:54,052 Look, if you wanna keep your job, you wanna save your career, 687 00:34:54,053 --> 00:34:56,590 you're gonna have to stand up to this asshat. 688 00:34:56,591 --> 00:34:58,460 Come on! 689 00:34:58,461 --> 00:35:02,301 - Put up a fight, like me. - With dynamite? 690 00:35:02,302 --> 00:35:06,611 Well, good luck finding any. I looked everywhere. 691 00:35:12,422 --> 00:35:15,562 - Go Skeets! - Go Skeets. 692 00:35:15,563 --> 00:35:17,298 - What's the matter? - Nothing. 693 00:35:17,299 --> 00:35:20,170 Just who knows how many zzs we'll have left. 694 00:35:20,171 --> 00:35:22,510 The future is promised to no one. 695 00:35:23,311 --> 00:35:26,182 Ah! God, that drew blood. 696 00:35:26,183 --> 00:35:28,487 - Uh, what's going on? - Uh... 697 00:35:28,488 --> 00:35:31,561 Okay, look, don't tell anyone, but the school 698 00:35:31,562 --> 00:35:33,765 might be closing due to lack of funding. 699 00:35:33,766 --> 00:35:36,870 What? Port Wenn Day School? 700 00:35:36,871 --> 00:35:38,174 That's all of our childhoods. 701 00:35:38,175 --> 00:35:41,046 There's like 20 million memories in there. 702 00:35:41,047 --> 00:35:43,316 - Exactly. - Yes. Are you okay? 703 00:35:43,317 --> 00:35:45,187 Port Wenn Day is like your whole life. 704 00:35:45,188 --> 00:35:47,726 Thank you. Finally someone gets it. 705 00:35:47,727 --> 00:35:49,730 I mean, look, school was never my thing, 706 00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:53,738 but everybody knows that you're like the best teacher ever. 707 00:35:53,739 --> 00:35:55,642 Seriously, people don't shut up about that. 708 00:35:55,643 --> 00:35:57,078 Mm. 709 00:35:57,079 --> 00:35:58,815 Oh! Oh! 710 00:35:58,816 --> 00:36:00,519 Mm... 711 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,257 I-I-I know that you're, uh, looking for a place to live. 712 00:36:03,258 --> 00:36:06,129 You've seen my show? 713 00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:07,832 - Bits and pieces. - Oh. 714 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:08,834 Yeah, you know, I was thinking 715 00:36:08,835 --> 00:36:10,437 about renting out my spare room. 716 00:36:10,438 --> 00:36:13,377 Do you wanna be my roommate? 717 00:36:13,378 --> 00:36:15,716 - Are you serious? - Yes! 718 00:36:19,457 --> 00:36:21,694 You'll be like the sister I never ate. 719 00:36:21,695 --> 00:36:22,930 Huh. 720 00:36:24,968 --> 00:36:26,103 Uh... 721 00:36:27,506 --> 00:36:29,811 - Come here. Yay! - Yay! 722 00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:42,503 Come on, boys, get out there! 723 00:36:45,643 --> 00:36:47,913 - That's what I'm talking about. - Yay! 724 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:50,150 - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Let's go! 725 00:36:50,151 --> 00:36:51,821 Let's go, Paul! 726 00:36:55,395 --> 00:36:57,633 Let's go, Woodpeckers! 727 00:37:01,140 --> 00:37:02,676 Let's go. Come on, y'all! Yes! 728 00:37:02,677 --> 00:37:05,615 Hey! Let's go. 729 00:37:05,616 --> 00:37:07,886 Go Skeets! 730 00:37:07,887 --> 00:37:09,657 Let's go, Skeeters! 731 00:37:09,658 --> 00:37:12,394 Hey, let's go, boys! This is... No! 732 00:37:12,395 --> 00:37:13,832 - Glendon! - No, no! No. 733 00:37:13,833 --> 00:37:16,202 - No, no can do, doc. No! - Get out of here. 734 00:37:16,203 --> 00:37:18,541 Come on, you know, you know, this is killing me, but you've 735 00:37:18,542 --> 00:37:21,412 gotta remain 300 feet away from anybody in the Ross family. 736 00:37:21,413 --> 00:37:24,418 Sit down, Dr. Downer. We might actually win this game. 737 00:37:24,419 --> 00:37:25,822 Yeah. Hey, can you believe it? 738 00:37:25,823 --> 00:37:27,291 I think this is the most exciting game 739 00:37:27,292 --> 00:37:29,329 we've ever had in Mosquito history. 740 00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:32,301 Ow! Wow, we really gotta rethink the team name. 741 00:37:32,302 --> 00:37:34,139 These things are bastards. Anyhow... 742 00:37:34,140 --> 00:37:35,808 We're down to run in the seventh, right? 743 00:37:35,809 --> 00:37:38,548 Paul Parks gets up there, hits an amazing single, 744 00:37:38,549 --> 00:37:40,350 slides into first, twists his ankle. 745 00:37:40,351 --> 00:37:41,821 So we just sent out a pitch runner. 746 00:37:44,761 --> 00:37:47,331 - What's he doing in the game? - 'Cause he's our fastest runner. 747 00:37:47,332 --> 00:37:49,302 He could break every bone in his body. 748 00:37:49,303 --> 00:37:51,406 - Let's go, Junior! - Come on, Junior! 749 00:37:51,407 --> 00:37:53,310 - Let's go, Junior! - Okay. Come on! 750 00:37:53,311 --> 00:37:55,314 - Uh, just go, J! - Let's go, Junior! 751 00:37:55,315 --> 00:37:56,684 Let's go, Junior! 752 00:38:05,937 --> 00:38:07,705 - Come on, J! - Let's go! 753 00:38:07,706 --> 00:38:09,442 Let's go. Come on, y'all! Yes! 754 00:38:09,443 --> 00:38:11,980 Hey! 755 00:38:11,981 --> 00:38:15,588 - Go Junior! Steal se...! - Buzz, buzz. 756 00:38:15,589 --> 00:38:18,494 - Let's go, Junior. - Zz, zz, zz. 757 00:38:18,495 --> 00:38:21,634 Let's go, Junior. Zz, zz, zz. 758 00:38:21,635 --> 00:38:24,507 Everybody, everybody. Yeah. Come on. Come on. 759 00:38:27,479 --> 00:38:29,884 - Strike one! - Oh! 760 00:38:29,885 --> 00:38:32,488 It looked outside to me. That's outside. 761 00:38:32,489 --> 00:38:34,092 Okay, we got it. We got it. 762 00:38:45,148 --> 00:38:46,718 Now you've seen it. 763 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:48,654 Strike two! 764 00:38:48,655 --> 00:38:50,892 - Ooh! - Oh, damn it! 765 00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:57,104 You are going down. 766 00:38:57,105 --> 00:38:59,843 - Zz... - Go! 767 00:38:59,844 --> 00:39:02,816 Go! Come on! Yay! 768 00:39:09,029 --> 00:39:10,999 Come on, come on, come on. 769 00:39:13,270 --> 00:39:15,007 Oh. 770 00:39:15,008 --> 00:39:16,442 - Go, Junior! - Ah! 771 00:39:16,443 --> 00:39:19,784 - Okay! Okay! - Let's go, J! 772 00:39:19,785 --> 00:39:21,554 Run! 773 00:39:26,130 --> 00:39:28,033 Run! 774 00:39:30,171 --> 00:39:33,309 All the way up! All the way up! 775 00:39:40,124 --> 00:39:42,294 - Run, boy! - He's gonna make it! 776 00:39:44,467 --> 00:39:48,040 Run! Run! Run all... 777 00:39:52,482 --> 00:39:55,789 Don't! Don't! 778 00:40:05,876 --> 00:40:09,415 Slide! Slide! He's going home! 779 00:40:09,416 --> 00:40:12,021 Slide home, Junior! Slide home! 780 00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:34,365 - What? No, no, no, no! - What? 781 00:40:34,366 --> 00:40:35,601 - What's happening? - What's going on? 782 00:40:35,602 --> 00:40:36,637 What the hell is wrong with you? 783 00:40:36,638 --> 00:40:38,607 Why would you do that? 784 00:40:38,608 --> 00:40:40,612 Forget about the lawsuit. You're going to jail. 785 00:40:40,613 --> 00:40:43,617 Dad, stop! He did it for me. 786 00:40:43,618 --> 00:40:45,922 He's the reason you got hurt in the first place. 787 00:40:45,923 --> 00:40:47,726 No, I am! 788 00:40:47,727 --> 00:40:52,367 I took too much protein powder, and it made my bones brittle. 789 00:40:52,368 --> 00:40:53,805 Why would you do something so stupid? 790 00:40:53,806 --> 00:40:55,976 Because I wanna make you proud of me. 791 00:40:57,647 --> 00:40:59,950 Doc Martin was just trying to protect me. 792 00:41:01,153 --> 00:41:02,789 Hey, you heard that, everybody? 793 00:41:02,790 --> 00:41:06,530 - Doc B is a hero! - Time! Time! 794 00:41:06,531 --> 00:41:09,301 Port Wenn is disqualified for fan interference! 795 00:41:14,379 --> 00:41:16,382 I spoke too soon. 796 00:41:16,383 --> 00:41:18,588 Doc, you should sneak out the back. 797 00:41:24,132 --> 00:41:25,869 Yes, I'm sure. 798 00:41:28,407 --> 00:41:29,776 I talked to my lawyers. 799 00:41:29,777 --> 00:41:32,549 That sounds expensive. What now? 800 00:41:32,550 --> 00:41:34,953 I'm dropping the lawsuit. 801 00:41:34,954 --> 00:41:37,793 Thank you for figuring out what was wrong with my son. 802 00:41:37,794 --> 00:41:39,095 - With no help from you. - Hey. 803 00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:43,203 Will you let me finish before I change my mind? 804 00:41:43,204 --> 00:41:45,508 What I'm trying to say is, 805 00:41:45,509 --> 00:41:48,413 I won't tell anybody about Boston. 806 00:41:48,414 --> 00:41:51,052 There's nothing to tell. 807 00:41:51,053 --> 00:41:55,027 Well, there's plenty to tell, but I'm not telling anyone... 808 00:41:56,898 --> 00:41:58,033 for now. 809 00:42:00,706 --> 00:42:01,974 All right, champ. That's great. 810 00:42:01,975 --> 00:42:05,414 Uh, be careful. He's a bag of bones. 811 00:42:05,415 --> 00:42:09,188 Hey. Good job out there. 812 00:42:09,189 --> 00:42:12,896 Oh! You will never beat us! 813 00:42:12,897 --> 00:42:15,033 Never, never, never, never! 814 00:42:15,034 --> 00:42:18,707 I'll beat you with my bare hands, but I don't touch trash. 815 00:42:18,708 --> 00:42:21,345 - Oh, who you calling trash? - You! 816 00:42:21,346 --> 00:42:23,817 You smell like an old rotten herring, 817 00:42:23,818 --> 00:42:26,456 you, you, you slimy old slob! 818 00:42:26,457 --> 00:42:28,595 Oh. You say that again. 819 00:42:28,596 --> 00:42:30,297 You slimy old slob! 820 00:42:32,502 --> 00:42:33,705 Mm... 821 00:42:37,079 --> 00:42:38,614 Happens every year. 822 00:42:38,615 --> 00:42:40,685 - Every year? - Mm-hmm. 823 00:42:51,073 --> 00:42:52,341 Go Skeets. 824 00:43:02,228 --> 00:43:03,798 - Hm. - Ah. 62684

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