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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,859 --> 00:00:03,695 It's been called the most unpredictable 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,646 general election in living memory. 3 00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:08,748 Let the people decide, but only the clever ones. 4 00:00:08,773 --> 00:00:11,375 - You know Viktor Goraya. - We go get him out. 5 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,397 We've got to get him into a country that grants asylum. 6 00:00:13,421 --> 00:00:15,718 But to do that, he's got to cross the border. 7 00:00:15,743 --> 00:00:16,785 You mean illegally? 8 00:00:16,785 --> 00:00:19,842 We need the money. I'm the man who lost a million quid, remember? 9 00:00:19,867 --> 00:00:22,445 What are the five jobs? Celeste said you had five. 10 00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:24,632 Don't use her name, not here. 11 00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:26,733 This is an extraordinary result. 12 00:00:26,733 --> 00:00:29,753 They can come to me, 13 00:00:29,753 --> 00:00:32,539 and I will decide. 14 00:00:37,823 --> 00:00:42,823 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 15 00:00:48,726 --> 00:00:51,233 [CHERRING] 16 00:00:51,258 --> 00:00:52,928 Happy New Year! 17 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,733 Has everyone got a glass? 18 00:00:54,733 --> 00:00:56,998 Bethany, you do the honours. 19 00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,945 It's in your "sync devices." 20 00:01:00,354 --> 00:01:04,579 - [CHEERING] - Happy New Year! 21 00:01:04,604 --> 00:01:06,540 No more than that. Hush now. 22 00:01:06,565 --> 00:01:10,627 It is my honour to say congratulations, 23 00:01:10,652 --> 00:01:13,282 a very happy engagement to you both. 24 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,765 Yeah, second time lucky, Dan. 25 00:01:14,765 --> 00:01:16,793 Sorry, everyone. Happy new Year. 26 00:01:17,548 --> 00:01:19,736 You wouldn't believe how busy the roads are. 27 00:01:19,761 --> 00:01:21,181 Hey, congratulations. 28 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,487 I can't believe you had to work. 29 00:01:22,512 --> 00:01:25,735 Double pay. So, how are you? Is that the new flat? 30 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:26,760 How is it? 31 00:01:26,785 --> 00:01:31,063 It's not a flat, it's a room in a house with 16 people. 32 00:01:31,088 --> 00:01:33,721 Yeah, but it's in one of those tall back streets in the centre 33 00:01:33,721 --> 00:01:35,399 of Madrid, so... I mean, it's handy. 34 00:01:35,424 --> 00:01:37,781 They are okay. They're mostly Somalis. 35 00:01:37,781 --> 00:01:40,351 The detention centres were full, so they pushed us out, 36 00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:42,789 but, you know, it's better, I think. 37 00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:44,226 And are they all right 38 00:01:44,251 --> 00:01:47,045 with two men getting married, Somalis? 39 00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:49,376 Well, if you think about it, Muriel, Somalia's a Muslim country, 40 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,320 so obviously that's tricky. 41 00:01:51,624 --> 00:01:53,570 That was my point, wasn't it? 42 00:01:53,595 --> 00:01:55,328 Well, now I've told you, so... 43 00:01:55,503 --> 00:01:57,739 And it's greatly appreciated. 44 00:01:57,764 --> 00:02:00,412 - All right, you two, ding-ding. - Just pointing out a fact. 45 00:02:00,437 --> 00:02:03,091 Which I have absorbed, thank you. See what it's like? 46 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:04,515 I go to work to get out of the house. 47 00:02:04,539 --> 00:02:06,083 The thing is, you lot, 48 00:02:06,108 --> 00:02:07,928 I've got a sort of announcement to make. 49 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,623 They are never going to let Viktor back in the UK, 50 00:02:10,648 --> 00:02:13,872 so we thought, when he gets his residency here, 51 00:02:14,295 --> 00:02:16,765 well, it's obvious, really, I'll have to move out 52 00:02:16,942 --> 00:02:18,655 and become a Spanish citizen. 53 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,704 Yes! 54 00:02:19,749 --> 00:02:21,733 I thought so. I said so. 55 00:02:21,765 --> 00:02:23,255 That's brilliant, good move. 56 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,522 Yeah, but it takes about ten years for the whole process to happen. 57 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,696 That's ages, though. I'll be 25. 58 00:02:29,721 --> 00:02:32,592 Trust me, it flies past. It'll be here before know it. 59 00:02:32,617 --> 00:02:33,760 Will you still be alive? 60 00:02:33,785 --> 00:02:35,805 - Bethany! - You can't say that. 61 00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:38,059 What kind of question is that? 62 00:02:38,084 --> 00:02:39,797 But you had that radiation. 63 00:02:39,797 --> 00:02:41,670 It's a very good question. 64 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:44,528 I promise I will cling on for dear life to get a free drink 65 00:02:44,553 --> 00:02:47,169 out of my brother. Good luck to all of us. 66 00:02:47,194 --> 00:02:50,333 And here's to you beautiful Spaniards. 67 00:02:50,358 --> 00:02:52,122 - Yes! - Danny and Vic. 68 00:02:52,147 --> 00:02:55,740 - Danny and Vic! - To us. To us. 69 00:02:56,389 --> 00:02:59,798 It's on the Costa Brava, this little town. 70 00:03:00,724 --> 00:03:02,982 And just outside, they've printed this village. 71 00:03:03,592 --> 00:03:08,792 This complete village: houses, squares, all 3D printed 72 00:03:08,817 --> 00:03:12,121 on these clifftops, overlooking the sea. 73 00:03:12,387 --> 00:03:14,676 That's my job, housing. 74 00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,252 I could do that. 75 00:03:16,277 --> 00:03:19,238 I could print whole towns, whole cities, right here in Spain. 76 00:03:20,113 --> 00:03:21,723 Costa del Danny. 77 00:03:22,339 --> 00:03:23,715 I never call you Danny. 78 00:03:25,636 --> 00:03:27,012 I quite like it now. 79 00:03:28,051 --> 00:03:29,692 I hated it when I was a kid, but... 80 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:31,680 Danny. 81 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,473 Vicky! 82 00:03:35,491 --> 00:03:37,207 LAUGHING: That's no good! 83 00:03:37,232 --> 00:03:38,942 No. Uh-uh? Uh-uh? 84 00:03:39,379 --> 00:03:40,379 Hola. 85 00:03:40,745 --> 00:03:43,919 Buenos tardes, Vicky. 86 00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:48,659 [EXPLOSIONS AND SHOUTING] 87 00:03:48,692 --> 00:03:50,271 Sounds like a party. 88 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:54,474 [NOISES CONTINUE] 89 00:03:55,633 --> 00:04:00,060 [GUNFIRE, SCREAMING] 90 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,325 [GUNFIRE INCREASES IN VOLUME] 91 00:04:06,744 --> 00:04:09,074 Spain's calling it the January Revolution, 92 00:04:09,099 --> 00:04:13,558 as the so-called People's Party, Nueva Esperanza, declares itself 93 00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:14,857 the new government. 94 00:04:15,325 --> 00:04:18,325 Link TV, news channels, now! 95 00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:21,239 The situation in Spain means a left-wing government 96 00:04:21,264 --> 00:04:24,364 is being replaced by a far-left government. 97 00:04:24,526 --> 00:04:26,310 What can we do about Spain? 98 00:04:26,335 --> 00:04:29,027 Well, I'm stuck in the middle of a hung parliament. 99 00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:30,394 There's nothing I can do. 100 00:04:30,419 --> 00:04:33,599 They're saying Nueva Esperanza has a policy of repatriation. 101 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:36,003 Anyone without citizenship is sent home. 102 00:04:36,028 --> 00:04:37,528 I thought they were left-wing. 103 00:04:37,553 --> 00:04:39,573 You've got far-right, you've got far-left 104 00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:41,380 eventually you meet in the middle. 105 00:04:41,405 --> 00:04:43,701 They won't let you into France. Where else can you go? 106 00:04:43,726 --> 00:04:46,740 Outbreaks of violence in Athens as the country withdraws 107 00:04:46,765 --> 00:04:49,521 from the eurozone, and the Grexit begins. 108 00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:53,756 Martial law has been declared as the government of Italy resigns. 109 00:04:53,995 --> 00:04:56,193 Hungary has been declared bankrupt. 110 00:04:57,691 --> 00:05:00,099 The whole world is on fire. 111 00:05:03,373 --> 00:05:04,729 How long have you got? 112 00:05:04,729 --> 00:05:06,060 About an hour. 113 00:05:07,565 --> 00:05:10,561 The United Nations has threatened to remove its headquarters 114 00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:11,996 from American soil. 115 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:14,631 After the suspension of same-sex marriage, 116 00:05:14,656 --> 00:05:18,748 the Supreme Court has overturned Roe versus Wade. 117 00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,029 - There she is! - No justice! 118 00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:28,185 - Go back, go back! - Right, rewind. 119 00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:30,015 - There she is. - Oh, my God! 120 00:05:31,511 --> 00:05:34,310 I've been banned from America, banned for life. 121 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:37,146 - And the government does nothing. - Exactly, that's what I keep saying. 122 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,521 Ask the Home Office about Spain, they haven't got a policy. 123 00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:40,849 Nothing. It's been eight weeks now. 124 00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,981 - Don't start with this again. - Did you see today 125 00:05:43,006 --> 00:05:44,709 they are not calling it a hung parliament any more. 126 00:05:44,733 --> 00:05:46,607 They're calling it the Parliament of Water. 127 00:05:47,162 --> 00:05:48,941 Just flows through your fingers gone! 128 00:05:48,966 --> 00:05:51,576 - It's our fault we voted them in. - Well, that's helpful. 129 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,262 Yeah, but it's true, you know? 130 00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:56,380 It just proves that democracy was a very nice idea for a while, 131 00:05:56,405 --> 00:05:57,732 and now it's worn out. 132 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,677 Well, there's always Vivienne Rook. 133 00:05:59,702 --> 00:06:03,029 - No, stop it. - Viv could smash the system. 134 00:06:03,054 --> 00:06:05,147 Tell you what's weird, though, do you remember years ago, 135 00:06:05,171 --> 00:06:07,021 we used to think the news was boring? 136 00:06:07,046 --> 00:06:08,769 Oh, my God, golden days. 137 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,546 The news would come on and we'd just yawn. 138 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:14,232 Now we hide. I have to hide my eyes, literally. 139 00:06:14,257 --> 00:06:16,593 It's like at school, when they tell you about the olden days, 140 00:06:16,617 --> 00:06:19,695 with Sun Kings and plays and people electing pigs. 141 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,695 It's coming back, it's happening again. 142 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,773 We were lucky for a bit, born in the '80s. 143 00:06:23,773 --> 00:06:27,773 We had, like, 30 years, the first 30 years of our lives. 144 00:06:27,773 --> 00:06:29,335 - Couple of wars. - Yeah, all right, 145 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,740 but you and me, we had a nice time. 146 00:06:31,765 --> 00:06:33,687 Basically, we had a really nice time. 147 00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:36,499 Turns out we were born in a pause. 148 00:06:36,695 --> 00:06:37,826 [MESSAGE ALERT] 149 00:06:37,859 --> 00:06:39,935 Oh, you see, somebody heard me relaxing. 150 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,499 Duty calls. I'm off. 151 00:06:42,877 --> 00:06:44,279 See you Friday, yeah? 152 00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,983 How many jobs have you got now? 153 00:06:47,297 --> 00:06:48,361 11. 154 00:06:49,737 --> 00:06:52,499 Here, I'll give you the hack thing. 155 00:06:52,524 --> 00:06:54,124 - See you. - Bye. 156 00:06:55,471 --> 00:06:57,241 OK, so take this. They are the new ones. 157 00:06:57,266 --> 00:06:58,280 They've got Mo Farah on. 158 00:06:58,305 --> 00:07:00,710 I don't need this, thank you very much. It's only Chinese. 159 00:07:00,735 --> 00:07:02,608 Take it, though. Save your money for the kids. 160 00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,133 You get paid tuppence at Glover's. 161 00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:05,744 Well, I might not be there for long. 162 00:07:05,769 --> 00:07:08,352 - Why, what are you doing? - You've been away. 163 00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:10,081 I've got plans. 164 00:07:15,573 --> 00:07:19,712 There she is, the beast. It cost £20,000. 165 00:07:19,737 --> 00:07:23,073 If you bought that from scratch, it'd be 50,000, 60, more. 166 00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:26,868 I've checked, and that's a really genuinely knock-down price. 167 00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:27,948 Yeah, how come? 168 00:07:28,087 --> 00:07:30,728 It's owned by Jonjo's brother and he's gone to jail, 169 00:07:30,753 --> 00:07:32,777 and now they need to sell it to raise cash for his kids. 170 00:07:32,777 --> 00:07:34,526 Went to jail for what? 171 00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:36,847 Well, he was selling fish and chips out of this side, 172 00:07:36,871 --> 00:07:39,354 and drugs out of that side, if you must know. 173 00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:40,977 Oh, it's a drug dealer's van. 174 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,682 It's a bargain. 175 00:07:42,707 --> 00:07:45,079 I've done a business plan, which they approved. 176 00:07:45,104 --> 00:07:46,110 They liked it. 177 00:07:46,135 --> 00:07:48,385 And you can have a look. I'm not daft. 178 00:07:48,704 --> 00:07:51,493 I know are risks, and there are costs way beyond the van. 179 00:07:51,518 --> 00:07:53,315 We'll have to get it all kitted out for me, 180 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,344 and I'll need kitchen space for prep and storage, 181 00:07:55,369 --> 00:07:57,772 but Jonjo says I can have his brother's for half price. 182 00:07:58,323 --> 00:07:59,682 How much, then, in total? 183 00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:03,745 Well, I can get a loan and a grant, and Jonjo says they'll 184 00:08:03,745 --> 00:08:06,573 knock off another 10%, but I still need 10,000. 185 00:08:06,598 --> 00:08:08,557 - I haven't got that! - I don't mean from you. 186 00:08:08,582 --> 00:08:10,599 - Well, what are you telling me for? - I mean from Gran. 187 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:11,623 Oh. 188 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:13,728 I just haven't asked her yet. 189 00:08:13,753 --> 00:08:16,236 Oh, she'll say yes. She'll do anything for you. 190 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:17,785 I thought you were going to ask me. That's a relief. 191 00:08:17,785 --> 00:08:20,597 No, I'm asking you if I can ask Gran, 192 00:08:21,222 --> 00:08:24,113 because her money belongs to all of us, really. 193 00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:26,182 But I need it. 194 00:08:26,207 --> 00:08:27,246 Of course you can. 195 00:08:27,348 --> 00:08:28,548 - Really? - Yeah. 196 00:08:28,721 --> 00:08:29,900 I think it's brilliant. 197 00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:31,050 I mean, it's a lot of work. 198 00:08:31,409 --> 00:08:33,212 What about Stephen and Danny boy? 199 00:08:33,237 --> 00:08:35,557 - Have you asked them yet? - No, I wanted to ask you first. 200 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,283 - But you know what Dan will say. - What? 201 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:40,117 - Can we give Viktor a job? - Oh, stop it. 202 00:08:40,142 --> 00:08:41,884 Can we buy Viktor a truck? 203 00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:43,781 Can we give all the money to Viktor? 204 00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:45,151 You are so bad. 205 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,524 I know, really. 206 00:08:47,549 --> 00:08:48,993 Honestly, you know. 207 00:08:49,205 --> 00:08:51,400 So, tell me, who's Jonjo? 208 00:08:51,769 --> 00:08:54,101 Because my brother, he's just thick. 209 00:08:54,126 --> 00:08:55,439 I used to slap him on the head 210 00:08:55,464 --> 00:08:57,650 when he was five years old and say, "Oi, thick boy!" 211 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,753 He says me hitting him on the head made him thick. 212 00:08:59,777 --> 00:09:03,642 I said, "You would say that, because you're thick. QED." 213 00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,345 My sister, though, brilliant. 214 00:09:05,557 --> 00:09:07,565 You know those areas in London they've sealed off? 215 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,298 Won't let commoners in, like Kensington? 216 00:09:09,323 --> 00:09:11,767 - Yeah. - She's got a pass. She's allowed in. 217 00:09:11,797 --> 00:09:13,774 - Whoops! - Get off! 218 00:09:13,808 --> 00:09:14,858 Sorry. 219 00:09:14,883 --> 00:09:17,945 [SHE SHRIEKS] Oh, my God! You're an arse. 220 00:09:18,554 --> 00:09:19,875 Get it off me! 221 00:09:21,655 --> 00:09:24,647 Now, that grill, it can reach temperatures of 300 Celsius, 222 00:09:24,672 --> 00:09:26,562 which is a bit unnecessary. 223 00:09:26,587 --> 00:09:27,752 Burgers would be carbonised. 224 00:09:27,777 --> 00:09:29,468 But handy if there is another Ice Age. 225 00:09:29,493 --> 00:09:32,242 We can all huddle in here and start a new civilisation. 226 00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:33,998 We've lowered the handles for you. 227 00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:35,492 No good news on the gearbox, 228 00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:38,295 which means you still need me to drive. 229 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,875 That's okay, as long as I get free chips. 230 00:09:41,211 --> 00:09:43,453 You want to watch that drawer, it keeps sticking. 231 00:09:43,478 --> 00:09:47,961 Apart from that, I think it's about time I kissed you. 232 00:09:48,647 --> 00:09:50,015 No, I don't think so. 233 00:09:50,383 --> 00:09:52,780 For real? Why not? 234 00:09:53,085 --> 00:09:55,655 Jonjo, it's too soon, I think we should wait. 235 00:09:56,585 --> 00:09:57,865 Okay. 236 00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:03,710 - Have we waited long enough? - No. 237 00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:08,773 - Have we waited long enough? - No. 238 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,280 Okay, we've waited long enough. 239 00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,359 [HORN BEEPS] 240 00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:27,249 Hello, here we are! 241 00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:28,748 Bravo! 242 00:10:28,773 --> 00:10:31,484 What do you think? Be honest, do you like it? 243 00:10:31,509 --> 00:10:34,429 - Just say yes. - Well I better had, it cost me enough. 244 00:10:34,859 --> 00:10:38,154 And you must be the man with designs on my granddaughter? 245 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:41,154 That's me. And I stamped my designs all over her lovely bum. 246 00:10:41,179 --> 00:10:43,280 Nice to meet you, Mu. Come here. 247 00:10:45,471 --> 00:10:49,632 Roll up, folks, the Rosie Lyons Experience is now open. 248 00:10:49,657 --> 00:10:51,737 - [CHEERING] - Whoo! 249 00:10:52,369 --> 00:10:54,780 If you want burgers, we've got acorn burgers, 250 00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:58,080 membrane burgers, ersatz burgers, bulk burgers, non-burgers, 251 00:10:58,105 --> 00:10:59,479 no burgers, not burgers, 252 00:10:59,504 --> 00:11:01,947 burger substitutes and paper burgers. 253 00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:04,188 Nicer than it sounds. What do you think, Mu? 254 00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:05,557 You look like a traditional 255 00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,970 quarter pounder with cheese, am I right? 256 00:11:06,994 --> 00:11:10,010 I'll have a crocodile sandwich and make it snappy. 257 00:11:11,369 --> 00:11:13,705 - Mum used to say that. - It's still funny. 258 00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:15,260 It's never not funny. 259 00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:18,188 He's all right, Jonjo, yeah? 260 00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:21,213 He's the sort of man who's happy when he finds a big crisp. 261 00:11:22,275 --> 00:11:24,564 Rosie's not daft, she kept an eye on him. 262 00:11:24,714 --> 00:11:26,166 He's good with the boys. 263 00:11:26,745 --> 00:11:28,729 So, I need to get Viktor out. 264 00:11:29,217 --> 00:11:31,697 - Okay, you mean out of Europe? - Yes. 265 00:11:32,176 --> 00:11:33,227 And into the UK? 266 00:11:33,252 --> 00:11:34,605 - Yeah. - Illegally? 267 00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:35,630 Yeah. 268 00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:36,987 Do you want me to go? 269 00:11:37,012 --> 00:11:38,817 No, it's okay. But what do I do? 270 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:42,190 I mean, it's safer now, because this Spanish revolution, 271 00:11:42,215 --> 00:11:43,761 it's like any revolution, it's a mess, 272 00:11:43,761 --> 00:11:44,856 no-one knows what anyone's doing, 273 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,449 but if they get organised, send him back home, 274 00:11:49,113 --> 00:11:50,910 well, it could be a death sentence. 275 00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:54,012 It's like that in the Ukraine, people just disappear. 276 00:11:54,378 --> 00:11:55,466 I can't believe I'm saying this 277 00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,494 sitting here in the garden, but it's a fact. 278 00:11:57,757 --> 00:11:59,504 He could be executed. 279 00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:01,441 So, what do you need? 280 00:12:01,919 --> 00:12:03,308 A fake passport. 281 00:12:04,389 --> 00:12:06,683 You know, really, I'll leave you to it. 282 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:09,769 I didn't like to ask her to go. 283 00:12:10,004 --> 00:12:11,781 You think she's okay these days? 284 00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:14,194 She's living with Gran. 285 00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:18,813 So, I just thought you know some dodgy people. 286 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,713 - Do I? - Oh, come on, Edith, 287 00:12:21,738 --> 00:12:24,033 your mates, God knows what you get up to. 288 00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:26,791 Well, yeah, I suppose years ago, I could have taken you in a pub 289 00:12:26,816 --> 00:12:29,056 down Cheetham Hill, 300 quid, done. 290 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,354 But these days, you need a breath scan... 291 00:12:32,174 --> 00:12:34,682 identification by breathing, I don't know anyone who does that. 292 00:12:34,707 --> 00:12:35,979 Well, there must be a way. 293 00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:38,773 Because we're not stupid, we're not poor, we're not lacking. 294 00:12:38,797 --> 00:12:40,174 I'm sorry, but we're clever. 295 00:12:40,617 --> 00:12:42,409 We could think of something, surely. 296 00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:45,923 I don't think refugees are refugees because they're thick. 297 00:12:45,948 --> 00:12:49,112 No, don't do that, I'm saying the system is stupid. 298 00:12:49,596 --> 00:12:51,733 Well, do you know the people that designed Brexit? 299 00:12:51,733 --> 00:12:53,813 For God's sake, don't tell me we can't outthink them! 300 00:12:54,071 --> 00:12:55,095 Okay. 301 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,769 I suppose half your job is get ex-cons back into housing, 302 00:12:57,769 --> 00:12:59,001 if anyone knows anyone. 303 00:12:59,026 --> 00:13:02,635 I know, but that makes it worse. I can't ask at work. 304 00:13:02,995 --> 00:13:04,432 One wrong word and... 305 00:13:05,721 --> 00:13:06,846 I like this terrine. 306 00:13:08,597 --> 00:13:09,862 Yeah, Celeste made it. 307 00:13:11,315 --> 00:13:12,995 Even if you can get him into Britain, 308 00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:14,659 he'll never be a legal citizen. 309 00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:18,977 - So? - He'd be a criminal forever. 310 00:13:19,002 --> 00:13:20,643 It doesn't matter, does it? 311 00:13:21,877 --> 00:13:23,260 Just live our lives. 312 00:13:23,809 --> 00:13:24,873 No-one would know. 313 00:13:25,502 --> 00:13:27,212 How often did the police come to the door? 314 00:13:27,237 --> 00:13:29,977 Like, never, not for people like us. Never. 315 00:13:30,002 --> 00:13:31,159 And we could move. 316 00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:34,198 So, no-one would even ask, he would just be my boyfriend. 317 00:13:34,223 --> 00:13:36,862 I'd earn the money and he could be safe. 318 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,432 I mean, that's better than a death sentence, isn't it? 319 00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:43,298 I mean, for God's sake, a death sentence. 320 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,346 It's... 321 00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:46,102 Hey, hey, hey! 322 00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:47,581 Careful, you two. 323 00:13:47,606 --> 00:13:49,549 - It gets slippery. - Okay. 324 00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:52,014 Are we calling that a T-shirt, or are we calling that a dress? 325 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,776 I don't think it matters. 326 00:13:57,718 --> 00:14:00,620 No, he looks beautiful. 327 00:14:02,533 --> 00:14:03,693 So, what are you going to do? 328 00:14:11,572 --> 00:14:13,797 - [PHONE RINGS] - SENOR: Telephone call, Edith Lyons. 329 00:14:13,822 --> 00:14:16,158 - Yeah. Shut up! - Telephone call... 330 00:14:16,183 --> 00:14:17,713 - ... Edith Lyons. - Ugh! 331 00:14:19,432 --> 00:14:20,780 Hey. Hello? 332 00:14:20,805 --> 00:14:22,595 This party is brilliant. 333 00:14:22,753 --> 00:14:24,619 Yeah, I know, I can hear it. 334 00:14:24,644 --> 00:14:25,845 Come and have a drink. 335 00:14:26,705 --> 00:14:28,268 I'm in me pants! 336 00:14:28,293 --> 00:14:29,502 That won't affect Fran. 337 00:14:31,822 --> 00:14:34,666 Tell her I said happy birthday. Where are you now? 338 00:14:34,878 --> 00:14:35,922 I'm out the front. 339 00:14:38,574 --> 00:14:40,127 Oh... All right. 340 00:14:44,205 --> 00:14:45,721 - Hello! - Hello. 341 00:14:46,557 --> 00:14:48,994 Hey, can I ask though... 342 00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:52,500 what is it with you and Fran, really? 343 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,962 Nothing, nothing, just friends, just mates. 344 00:14:55,231 --> 00:14:57,215 Sort of. Now and then. 345 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,908 But the thing is, she says she's going to Spain in October. 346 00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:06,087 They are taking that tour, songs and fables, the African thing. 347 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:10,125 No, no, they're cancelled, the FCO has labelled Spain, 348 00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:12,955 "We advise against all but essential travel." 349 00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:14,431 You still go. 350 00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:16,939 I'm engaged. 351 00:15:17,298 --> 00:15:18,789 But she's sponsored by the British Council... 352 00:15:18,789 --> 00:15:20,259 if you are funded by the arts, 353 00:15:20,284 --> 00:15:22,587 you can just drive into war zones, no-one cares. 354 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:24,328 Fran once took sonnets to Syria, 355 00:15:24,353 --> 00:15:26,777 never mind food, have some sonnets, but no-one stopped her. 356 00:15:26,777 --> 00:15:28,025 Drove in, drove out. 357 00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:30,330 Yeah, Viktor helped her. 358 00:15:31,908 --> 00:15:34,745 With the tour, he introduced her to that couple, 359 00:15:34,745 --> 00:15:36,955 the ones who put on the festival. 360 00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:38,371 Well, then... 361 00:15:40,463 --> 00:15:41,527 She owes him. 362 00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:44,134 Pity she can't smuggle him out. 363 00:16:02,354 --> 00:16:04,142 With the vote of no-confidence, 364 00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:06,470 the Parliament of Water has been dissolved. 365 00:16:06,495 --> 00:16:08,930 The date for the general election has been set 366 00:16:08,955 --> 00:16:11,064 for Thursday, the 21st of October. 367 00:16:11,089 --> 00:16:14,908 But for the first time in history, voting is compulsory. 368 00:16:15,031 --> 00:16:18,314 Like Australia, every British citizen must vote, 369 00:16:18,509 --> 00:16:21,244 or break the law. It's going to change everything. 370 00:16:21,322 --> 00:16:23,603 I was really looking forward to the campaign. 371 00:16:23,628 --> 00:16:25,976 There's nothing I like more than a fair fight. 372 00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:30,094 But these deep fake videos are ruining the debate, 373 00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,548 and they're threatening democracy. 374 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:34,922 Deep fakes are videos in which a living person's face 375 00:16:34,947 --> 00:16:38,547 and voice are recreated in CGI to say anything 376 00:16:38,572 --> 00:16:39,757 the programmer wants. 377 00:16:39,923 --> 00:16:42,769 There is one obvious solution to all the foreigners in this country. 378 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:43,793 That's not me. 379 00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,697 Arrest them, throw them out. 380 00:16:45,722 --> 00:16:47,682 I didn't say that, I would never say that. 381 00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,740 And if they resist... 382 00:16:48,765 --> 00:16:50,765 That face and that voice are completely fake! 383 00:16:50,765 --> 00:16:52,986 Ex-ex-execute them. 384 00:16:53,205 --> 00:16:55,619 Ask me what to do with the rich, and I say... 385 00:16:55,644 --> 00:16:57,016 That is literally not me. 386 00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:59,312 ... take their homes, burn them down... 387 00:16:59,337 --> 00:17:00,353 It's a fake! 388 00:17:00,378 --> 00:17:02,772 ... and throw those bastards to the w-w-wolves. 389 00:17:02,797 --> 00:17:04,801 It CGI, it's a lie! 390 00:17:05,073 --> 00:17:07,073 So, you are saying these videos are fake? 391 00:17:07,272 --> 00:17:09,095 Oh, of course they're fake videos. 392 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,057 Everyone can see they're not real. 393 00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:16,307 All the same, they really did say those things. 394 00:17:16,862 --> 00:17:18,079 Didn't they? 395 00:17:18,424 --> 00:17:20,042 What do we do? 396 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,987 How do we make a stand? How do we stop it? 397 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,572 Fran. I need a favour. 398 00:17:35,369 --> 00:17:37,673 Hi, yeah, a woman called Vita put me through. 399 00:17:37,698 --> 00:17:39,751 My name's Daniel Lyons, I'm coming to the bank tomorrow, 400 00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:43,603 I need to close my savings account ending 3032, 401 00:17:43,628 --> 00:17:45,861 and my extra account ending in 5061. 402 00:17:46,134 --> 00:17:48,330 I need the money in cash and I need it in euros. 403 00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:50,454 Thank you very much. 404 00:17:51,295 --> 00:17:53,760 And with campaigning in the final week, 405 00:17:53,785 --> 00:17:56,922 it's fair to say that polls have no idea what will happen. 406 00:17:56,947 --> 00:18:00,225 Now that voting is compulsory, no-one can predict how the entire 407 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,524 British population will vote en masse. 408 00:18:02,909 --> 00:18:03,909 Call! 409 00:18:04,304 --> 00:18:07,437 Family link, audio only. 410 00:18:07,931 --> 00:18:10,204 - SENOR: Daniel calling. - Senor, accept. 411 00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,095 Hiya, bit busy, what's up? 412 00:18:12,476 --> 00:18:14,764 Hello there, Danny, how are you? 413 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,563 I'm trying to work! 414 00:18:16,588 --> 00:18:18,321 Hi, Gran. I'm at the doctor's. 415 00:18:19,024 --> 00:18:20,063 Make it quick. 416 00:18:20,088 --> 00:18:23,290 BREATHLESSLY: Oh, good morning. 417 00:18:24,491 --> 00:18:26,499 Stephen, is that you? What are you doing? 418 00:18:26,524 --> 00:18:28,157 Parcel on board. 419 00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:30,320 Well, it sounds like you're doing something else. 420 00:18:30,345 --> 00:18:32,641 Sorry, Celeste, didn't mean to interrupt. 421 00:18:33,056 --> 00:18:35,538 No, Celeste's at home with me. 422 00:18:35,563 --> 00:18:38,081 Well, she better have a word with him then, the dirty dog. 423 00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:39,635 For God's sake! 424 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:43,173 Just to say this man at work's moved his days about, 425 00:18:43,198 --> 00:18:46,440 so all of a sudden, I've got a holiday. I'm off to Spain. 426 00:18:47,706 --> 00:18:51,001 Gran, I won't be around on Sunday, OK? I'm sorry about that. 427 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,916 Cast your vote for Thursday, it's the law. 428 00:18:54,057 --> 00:18:55,573 Give Viktor our love. 429 00:18:55,955 --> 00:18:59,557 Warn him, I might fly over there myself one of these days. 430 00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:01,526 Fran is in Madrid, right now. 431 00:19:02,963 --> 00:19:06,401 I know. we're going to meet up. 432 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:08,838 Should be nice. 433 00:19:10,814 --> 00:19:12,173 Fingers crossed. 434 00:19:12,494 --> 00:19:14,549 - Edith Lyons? - That's me. 435 00:19:14,574 --> 00:19:15,614 Good luck, Dan. 436 00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:17,401 I'll see you soon. 437 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:21,573 PANTING: Have a... nice... time. 438 00:19:21,598 --> 00:19:24,401 I will. I'll see you soon. 439 00:19:24,426 --> 00:19:26,870 - Yeah, bye. - Family link off. 440 00:19:37,456 --> 00:19:41,502 So, Fran is, like, plan number one, 441 00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:45,809 but failing that, I've got 15,000 euros. 442 00:19:46,721 --> 00:19:49,315 Well, strictly speaking, 15,240 euros. 443 00:19:49,862 --> 00:19:51,931 We are going to buy our way out of here. 444 00:19:51,956 --> 00:19:54,556 Even if I have to commandeer a yacht to get us across the Channel, 445 00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:56,135 we will do it. Please say yes. 446 00:19:57,502 --> 00:20:00,126 My God! I'm saying yes. 447 00:20:00,151 --> 00:20:02,740 If you leave Spain and you get stopped without your papers, 448 00:20:03,573 --> 00:20:04,778 you'll get sent back to Ukraine. 449 00:20:04,802 --> 00:20:06,921 I know. I'm saying yes. 450 00:20:07,718 --> 00:20:10,101 All the yes, completely yes! 451 00:20:11,765 --> 00:20:14,974 I just never thought you'd, you know... 452 00:20:14,999 --> 00:20:16,265 What? Never thought I'd what? 453 00:20:16,765 --> 00:20:18,663 Well, you are always kind of boring. 454 00:20:18,688 --> 00:20:20,452 Oh, thank you! 455 00:20:20,602 --> 00:20:23,640 But I like the boring. I love it. 456 00:20:25,192 --> 00:20:26,398 And all the time... 457 00:20:28,507 --> 00:20:30,046 ... I kept your front door key. 458 00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:32,874 To get me home. 459 00:20:34,136 --> 00:20:36,120 Let's go have a boring life. 460 00:20:46,761 --> 00:20:49,093 [PHONE RINGS] 461 00:20:50,472 --> 00:20:53,085 Okay, they said to keep one of these at all times 462 00:20:53,241 --> 00:20:55,404 under the shirt, because it's harder to steal. 463 00:20:55,429 --> 00:20:58,201 Wallet, keys, emergency cash. 464 00:20:58,226 --> 00:20:59,313 You've got 200 euros in there, 465 00:20:59,337 --> 00:21:02,085 so if we get separated, you've got that. 466 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:03,413 - Okay. - Okay? 467 00:21:10,507 --> 00:21:12,677 - Oh, yeah. - We've got to do this now, 468 00:21:12,702 --> 00:21:13,765 before the rest of the company get 469 00:21:13,765 --> 00:21:15,289 on board, because I haven't told anyone, okay? 470 00:21:15,313 --> 00:21:17,382 No-one knows about this. I'd lose my job. 471 00:21:17,407 --> 00:21:18,463 All right. 472 00:21:18,488 --> 00:21:21,373 Go as far back as you can and we'll surround you with bags. 473 00:21:21,398 --> 00:21:23,593 Is it safe? Oh, now you ask? 474 00:21:23,618 --> 00:21:25,507 - Well, I have to check. - It's safe, it's okay. 475 00:21:25,975 --> 00:21:27,003 I can manage. 476 00:21:27,132 --> 00:21:28,366 Plenty of people do this. 477 00:21:29,178 --> 00:21:32,195 Now feel the wall, hide yourself behind the bags. 478 00:21:32,882 --> 00:21:34,710 And it's 500 quid for Jim. 479 00:21:34,871 --> 00:21:38,218 - You said 200. - Do you want to argue with him? 480 00:21:39,978 --> 00:21:41,010 What's that in euros? 481 00:21:41,035 --> 00:21:42,191 650. 482 00:21:52,386 --> 00:21:54,316 Right, turn your phone on silent. 483 00:21:54,342 --> 00:21:56,370 I have, it's done, it's good. 484 00:21:56,395 --> 00:21:57,941 Now hide yourself, okay? 485 00:22:05,779 --> 00:22:07,495 Hiya. You all right? 486 00:22:07,737 --> 00:22:08,963 I found that restaurant. 487 00:22:08,988 --> 00:22:10,402 It was brilliant. 488 00:22:10,847 --> 00:22:13,393 This is Dan, he's a mate from Manchester. 489 00:22:13,418 --> 00:22:14,808 He's coming back with us. 490 00:22:14,879 --> 00:22:17,551 I told him there's no free rides, he's got to pay his way. 491 00:22:17,576 --> 00:22:19,043 I'll buy you a drink on the ferry. 492 00:22:20,655 --> 00:22:23,207 You're lucky the Schengen Agreement's still in place... 493 00:22:23,232 --> 00:22:24,869 by the skin of its teeth... 494 00:22:24,894 --> 00:22:27,028 so we can drive straight into France. 495 00:22:27,248 --> 00:22:30,435 And if they find him, it's nothing to do with me 496 00:22:30,706 --> 00:22:31,982 or the company. 497 00:22:32,526 --> 00:22:35,255 He's just a stranger who's climbed on board. 498 00:22:35,651 --> 00:22:37,667 - Have you got that? - Yes. 499 00:22:37,692 --> 00:22:41,089 And you can tell your bloody sister I will not help her ever again. 500 00:22:41,114 --> 00:22:43,261 I know. But we can do this, Fran. 501 00:22:43,286 --> 00:22:45,175 People travel across the world to be safe. 502 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,302 We've just got to get to Dover, that's all. 503 00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:05,002 I'm off. 504 00:23:05,173 --> 00:23:07,040 Tuesday means drug test day. 505 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:08,788 I'll be back for dinner. 506 00:23:09,759 --> 00:23:11,196 What are you testing this time? 507 00:23:11,704 --> 00:23:13,446 Some epilepsy drug. 508 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,353 300 quid, that's what matters. 509 00:23:15,378 --> 00:23:16,829 Bye, see you later. 510 00:23:20,978 --> 00:23:22,218 OK, so I haven't got long, 511 00:23:22,243 --> 00:23:25,025 because I've got one of those blood test things at 12 o'clock. 512 00:23:25,579 --> 00:23:28,556 God, I know you've got your own key, but you could text. 513 00:23:31,241 --> 00:23:32,923 I haven't got long. 514 00:23:34,589 --> 00:23:35,709 Is that supposed to be sexy? 515 00:23:36,338 --> 00:23:37,390 Well, yes. 516 00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:40,407 Here I am. 517 00:23:45,444 --> 00:23:48,525 Okay, it's working. 518 00:23:52,777 --> 00:23:54,579 Morning, you lot. 519 00:23:54,889 --> 00:23:57,445 Right, no-one in the bathroom, thank you very much, 520 00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:58,548 it's all mine. 521 00:23:58,573 --> 00:24:02,095 And your Uncle Jonjo stayed over last night... 522 00:24:02,156 --> 00:24:03,946 - say hello. - Hi. 523 00:24:05,429 --> 00:24:07,736 Right, Lee, don't forget that thing for school. 524 00:24:07,761 --> 00:24:08,801 All right. 525 00:24:10,353 --> 00:24:12,115 Can I make myself a coffee? 526 00:24:12,149 --> 00:24:13,163 Help yourself. 527 00:24:13,188 --> 00:24:15,398 - Do you want anything, anyone? - No, we're fine. 528 00:24:23,092 --> 00:24:27,100 Okay, you two, I want you to go to Leslie down the hall 529 00:24:27,125 --> 00:24:30,414 and ask her what time the shuttle bus leaves. 530 00:24:30,439 --> 00:24:31,953 Oh, it leaves on the hour. 531 00:24:33,008 --> 00:24:36,859 I want you to go to Leslie and ask her, and take five minutes. 532 00:24:39,331 --> 00:24:40,578 Split this with your brother. 533 00:24:40,603 --> 00:24:43,492 £2.50. Now go. Vamoose! 534 00:24:49,409 --> 00:24:51,063 - You all right? - Yeah. 535 00:24:51,527 --> 00:24:53,182 It's a nice little kitchen. 536 00:24:53,948 --> 00:24:55,049 It's like this on board ship... 537 00:24:55,073 --> 00:24:56,682 we had the galley, same sort of layout. 538 00:24:56,707 --> 00:24:58,519 Rosie said you were like Greenpeace, weren't you? 539 00:24:58,543 --> 00:25:00,557 A bit more ramshackle, but, yeah. 540 00:25:00,658 --> 00:25:02,557 - She said you went all over. - Yeah. 541 00:25:02,590 --> 00:25:04,823 Atlantic, Pacific, the Bering Straits, 542 00:25:05,178 --> 00:25:06,800 we sailed up to the north of Greenland, 543 00:25:06,825 --> 00:25:08,523 saw the last of the ice disappear. 544 00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:09,764 It's terrible, that. 545 00:25:09,789 --> 00:25:12,042 It's funny, because volunteers would come on board and... 546 00:25:12,058 --> 00:25:13,229 say, "Oh, I'm a vegan," 547 00:25:13,253 --> 00:25:15,175 but after three months of eating dried pulses, 548 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:16,469 they'd be fishing with the best of us. 549 00:25:16,493 --> 00:25:18,364 - I bet. - In the end, 550 00:25:18,389 --> 00:25:20,592 I could fillet a fish with three strokes. 551 00:25:20,617 --> 00:25:23,131 Head, gut, spine. 552 00:25:23,412 --> 00:25:25,271 One, two, three. 553 00:25:25,518 --> 00:25:27,526 Became a dab hand with a knife. 554 00:25:29,588 --> 00:25:32,045 Cos you're more than a fling, Jonjo. 555 00:25:32,732 --> 00:25:34,029 Looks like you're staying. 556 00:25:35,631 --> 00:25:38,584 And it strikes me that when a man enters a family with two kids, 557 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,717 a family with two little boys right at the heart of it, 558 00:25:44,201 --> 00:25:45,959 then I'd better be on the alert. 559 00:25:46,737 --> 00:25:47,760 You understand? 560 00:25:47,785 --> 00:25:48,785 Yeah. 561 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,992 Because there are terrible men out there. 562 00:25:52,545 --> 00:25:53,748 But I'm watching. 563 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,959 And believe me, Jonjo, I've done some shit. 564 00:25:59,685 --> 00:26:00,761 Have you got that? 565 00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:02,599 Honestly, I swear, it's all about Rosie. 566 00:26:02,753 --> 00:26:04,068 I think she's amazing. 567 00:26:04,752 --> 00:26:05,752 Good. 568 00:26:06,206 --> 00:26:07,443 There's no side to me. 569 00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:09,122 My mother always says I've got no layers, 570 00:26:09,146 --> 00:26:11,287 and I think your sister's really, really lovely. 571 00:26:12,769 --> 00:26:13,826 Yeah. 572 00:26:14,244 --> 00:26:15,244 I think you do. 573 00:26:16,627 --> 00:26:17,703 All right. 574 00:26:17,992 --> 00:26:19,217 I'm still watching. 575 00:26:24,479 --> 00:26:25,826 I don't like the sound of it. 576 00:26:26,706 --> 00:26:28,803 Are they safe, these drugs tests? 577 00:26:30,217 --> 00:26:32,271 300 quid, cash in hand. 578 00:26:33,873 --> 00:26:36,404 Ever since we left the EU, the medicines agency moved 579 00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:38,998 to France, so now we have to test all the drugs from scratch. 580 00:26:39,905 --> 00:26:41,717 It's a bonanza for people like me. 581 00:26:42,652 --> 00:26:43,826 Time's up. 582 00:26:44,905 --> 00:26:45,943 Duty calls. 583 00:26:46,872 --> 00:26:48,115 300 quid. 584 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:57,568 If you could blow there. 585 00:26:59,693 --> 00:27:00,866 And there. 586 00:27:02,389 --> 00:27:03,433 Thank you. 587 00:27:04,428 --> 00:27:06,871 We'll be taking blood, so I'm legally required to ask, 588 00:27:06,896 --> 00:27:08,615 do you want to know your life expectancy? 589 00:27:08,935 --> 00:27:11,285 Um, no. No, thanks. 590 00:27:11,310 --> 00:27:13,654 Right. That should take about an hour. 591 00:27:13,803 --> 00:27:15,083 I'll come back to keep an eye on you. 592 00:27:15,107 --> 00:27:16,107 Thanks. 593 00:27:45,139 --> 00:27:47,981 Lyons in five, he's had a reaction, we might need to flag him up. 594 00:27:48,006 --> 00:27:49,943 - Sure, I'll pull up his file. - Thanks. 595 00:27:51,482 --> 00:27:53,403 Dr Scott said there's nothing to worry about. 596 00:27:53,428 --> 00:27:55,268 It's a little bit of a side effect, that's all. 597 00:27:56,085 --> 00:27:57,137 Yeah, I can't stop... 598 00:27:57,162 --> 00:27:58,194 I keep... 599 00:28:00,076 --> 00:28:02,903 I'm looking left all the time, I can't stop turning my head left. 600 00:28:02,928 --> 00:28:05,207 You are mimicking symptoms of an epileptic seizure, 601 00:28:05,232 --> 00:28:06,685 but without the seizure itself. 602 00:28:06,710 --> 00:28:08,459 Give it a couple hours, it will pass. 603 00:28:08,693 --> 00:28:10,552 You came here on your bike, is that right? 604 00:28:11,364 --> 00:28:13,244 Okay, I don't think that's safe to get you home. 605 00:28:13,307 --> 00:28:15,199 Have you got someone who can pick you up? 606 00:28:15,701 --> 00:28:19,254 I could try Elaine. I can't focus. 607 00:28:19,279 --> 00:28:21,777 - Yeah, it's all right, I'll do it. - Elaine Parris. 608 00:28:23,707 --> 00:28:25,703 Oh, this is weird. 609 00:28:26,068 --> 00:28:27,357 Gran would kill me. 610 00:28:27,382 --> 00:28:29,951 I'll go to Elaine, until it passes. 611 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:31,520 Ohh... 612 00:28:31,757 --> 00:28:35,959 [PHONE RINGING] 613 00:28:36,162 --> 00:28:37,373 Hi there, how did it go? 614 00:28:37,398 --> 00:28:40,012 I'm calling on behalf of Mr Stephen Lyons, 615 00:28:40,037 --> 00:28:41,517 he needs you to come and collect him. 616 00:28:42,146 --> 00:28:44,254 Lyons in five, nothing to worry about, 617 00:28:44,279 --> 00:28:47,037 - but he's taking transport home. - Okay, thanks for letting me know. 618 00:28:51,388 --> 00:28:53,793 SENOR: Phone call, Claverton Facility. 619 00:28:53,793 --> 00:28:56,138 Accept, thank you, Senor. Hello? 620 00:28:56,389 --> 00:28:59,385 Hello, I'm phoning on behalf of Mr Stephen Lyons. 621 00:28:59,410 --> 00:29:01,208 He needs someone to come and collect him. 622 00:29:05,334 --> 00:29:07,254 Hi, my name's Celeste Bisme-Lyons. 623 00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:09,268 I'm here to get my husband, Stephen Lyons. 624 00:29:17,872 --> 00:29:21,011 Hey. Darling. Hello. 625 00:29:21,036 --> 00:29:22,394 It's nice to see you. 626 00:29:22,419 --> 00:29:24,692 It's Elaine. We met at that party thing? 627 00:29:25,364 --> 00:29:26,567 Yeah, I remember. 628 00:29:27,075 --> 00:29:30,388 I was just visiting and I just popped in, and... 629 00:29:30,591 --> 00:29:33,598 and it turns out he's not very well. The big lump. 630 00:29:33,623 --> 00:29:34,950 Like a bad reaction, they said. 631 00:29:35,121 --> 00:29:37,159 Yeah, I can't stop turning my head left. 632 00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:38,692 I was just on my way into work. 633 00:29:40,466 --> 00:29:42,387 Well, good. 634 00:29:43,237 --> 00:29:45,176 Thanks, Elaine, I can take him home now. 635 00:29:46,124 --> 00:29:47,124 Okay. 636 00:29:48,419 --> 00:29:49,773 See you soon then, bye. 637 00:29:49,773 --> 00:29:51,098 Yeah, thanks. 638 00:29:56,973 --> 00:29:59,765 It's weird, I just keep turning my head. 639 00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,348 I know there's nothing, 640 00:30:01,373 --> 00:30:02,973 but I can't stop myself from looking. 641 00:30:17,466 --> 00:30:18,934 I think it's getting better though. 642 00:30:21,247 --> 00:30:23,184 Ruby! Are you home? 643 00:30:23,879 --> 00:30:25,770 I want you downstairs, now. 644 00:30:27,654 --> 00:30:28,654 I'm home! 645 00:30:29,075 --> 00:30:30,450 Ruby, I know you're up there. 646 00:30:30,604 --> 00:30:32,394 I want you downstairs this very second. 647 00:30:32,419 --> 00:30:35,214 - That's an order. - So, what's wrong with him? 648 00:30:35,239 --> 00:30:36,325 Ask him yourself. 649 00:30:36,350 --> 00:30:38,028 I'm sorry, it's weird, it's my head. 650 00:30:38,341 --> 00:30:39,749 What do you mean, your head? 651 00:30:39,749 --> 00:30:41,793 What have they done to you this time? 652 00:30:41,793 --> 00:30:44,169 Senor, call Bethany at work. 653 00:30:44,271 --> 00:30:45,785 Tag it urgent so she answers. 654 00:30:46,434 --> 00:30:47,434 What's that for? 655 00:30:48,216 --> 00:30:49,489 I think we should tell them. 656 00:30:49,728 --> 00:30:51,122 I've only got a funny head. 657 00:30:51,147 --> 00:30:52,544 What is it? I'm busy. 658 00:30:52,569 --> 00:30:54,689 Your daft old dad's just got a funny head, that's all. 659 00:30:55,348 --> 00:30:57,019 Hello? Is it really urgent? 660 00:30:57,044 --> 00:30:58,785 I've only got two minutes for personal calls. 661 00:30:58,785 --> 00:31:00,153 No, it won't take long. 662 00:31:00,757 --> 00:31:02,630 Your dad wants to tell you something, girls. 663 00:31:04,534 --> 00:31:05,778 Okay, uh... 664 00:31:08,270 --> 00:31:11,823 I go to that clinic on Tuesdays, and I tried this drug... 665 00:31:11,848 --> 00:31:14,426 No, I don't mean that. 666 00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:18,231 I mean tell them about Elaine, Stephen. 667 00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:22,365 Tell them about the affair you're having with Elaine Parris. 668 00:31:23,776 --> 00:31:25,450 What on Earth do you mean?! 669 00:31:25,475 --> 00:31:26,848 And you can shut up. 670 00:31:28,027 --> 00:31:29,325 Senor, end the call. 671 00:31:32,868 --> 00:31:34,302 What's she talking about, Dad? 672 00:31:34,327 --> 00:31:36,744 SENOR: Phone call, Bethany Bisme-Lyons. 673 00:31:36,769 --> 00:31:37,809 Senor, accept. 674 00:31:39,593 --> 00:31:40,739 Now, tell them. 675 00:31:41,670 --> 00:31:44,161 Tell your daughters, tell your gran, 676 00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:46,589 and let's tell your whole bloody family... 677 00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:48,426 you're always yap-yap-yapping away to them. 678 00:31:49,333 --> 00:31:51,255 Tell them all how you've been having an affair. 679 00:31:53,067 --> 00:31:55,809 No, that sounds too classy, doesn't it? 680 00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:59,323 Tell them how you've been rutting and snorting 681 00:31:59,348 --> 00:32:01,966 and fucking that greasy-haired little sack for weeks. 682 00:32:02,052 --> 00:32:03,153 For months. 683 00:32:03,627 --> 00:32:04,655 For years. 684 00:32:07,402 --> 00:32:09,786 I've got an idea. Let's ask her. 685 00:32:10,567 --> 00:32:13,066 Senor, call Elaine Parris. 686 00:32:13,091 --> 00:32:15,075 Calling Elaine Parris. 687 00:32:23,777 --> 00:32:25,769 [THUDS] 688 00:32:31,075 --> 00:32:33,487 Get out as fast as you can! They're searching every vehicle. 689 00:32:33,512 --> 00:32:34,934 Come on, mate, we've had it! 690 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,003 Got word down the line, they're stripping them bare, let's go. 691 00:32:38,027 --> 00:32:39,832 - What will you do? - Don't worry about us, 692 00:32:39,857 --> 00:32:40,886 there's always an option. 693 00:32:40,911 --> 00:32:42,129 We're heading to Calais. 694 00:32:42,887 --> 00:32:44,777 Oh, I think we've blown your cover. 695 00:32:45,238 --> 00:32:47,496 Never mind that, just go. 696 00:32:47,683 --> 00:32:49,088 Can we walk? Is it far? 697 00:32:49,113 --> 00:32:51,033 Yeah, I'm just getting... Right, got it, come on. 698 00:32:52,259 --> 00:32:53,343 Thanks. 699 00:32:56,757 --> 00:33:00,439 It's okay, because I budgeted, 35 euros, cheap hotel, 700 00:33:00,464 --> 00:33:03,246 base of operations, get you that passport, 701 00:33:03,271 --> 00:33:06,633 then the breath test, and get us back onto that ferry. 702 00:33:22,151 --> 00:33:23,761 You missed all the drama. 703 00:33:24,557 --> 00:33:26,277 14 missed calls. 704 00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:31,316 Turns out Stephen has been having an affair 705 00:33:31,341 --> 00:33:33,329 with a woman called Elaine. 706 00:33:35,886 --> 00:33:37,729 Phone call Rosie, thanks. 707 00:33:38,011 --> 00:33:41,712 I've met Elaine. She's a bit tough. 708 00:33:41,957 --> 00:33:44,596 - There you are. - So, what the hell?! 709 00:33:44,621 --> 00:33:45,940 Oh, my God! where have you been? 710 00:33:45,965 --> 00:33:47,558 This is like the biggest day in history. 711 00:33:47,582 --> 00:33:49,160 - Can you believe it? - What's happening? 712 00:33:49,184 --> 00:33:51,744 How did it happen? Does everyone know? 713 00:33:51,769 --> 00:33:53,916 Celeste announced it like the town crier... 714 00:33:53,941 --> 00:33:56,805 even Gran knows, and the kids, Beth and Ruby, and everyone. 715 00:33:56,918 --> 00:33:59,394 The thing is, she was always out of his league, really. 716 00:33:59,487 --> 00:34:01,580 - Who was, Celeste? - Yeah, I mean, look at her. 717 00:34:01,605 --> 00:34:05,096 She's beautiful. Stephen's just Stephen. 718 00:34:06,488 --> 00:34:08,549 Oh, my God, I'm never turning my back on you two. 719 00:34:08,574 --> 00:34:09,603 You okay though? 720 00:34:09,627 --> 00:34:12,385 How are you? Are you with Viktor? Is he there? 721 00:34:12,410 --> 00:34:13,748 Yeah, we're good, we're fine. 722 00:34:14,104 --> 00:34:15,789 There's nothing to worry about, honestly. 723 00:34:15,789 --> 00:34:17,135 It's all under control. 724 00:34:17,431 --> 00:34:19,483 Oh, my God, though! 725 00:34:19,655 --> 00:34:22,611 Stephen I mean, Stephen?! 726 00:34:24,616 --> 00:34:28,047 You sit there, saying to my face it didn't mean anything. 727 00:34:28,072 --> 00:34:30,540 - But it didn't. - Let me tell you how nice it is 728 00:34:30,565 --> 00:34:32,251 to have your whole life wrecked by something 729 00:34:32,275 --> 00:34:35,603 that didn't mean anything! Do you think that helps? 730 00:34:35,628 --> 00:34:38,078 No. I'm sorry. 731 00:34:38,103 --> 00:34:40,025 All of it, ruined! 732 00:34:40,206 --> 00:34:42,658 In some dirty little bedsit in Egerton Road. 733 00:34:44,728 --> 00:34:46,328 - But how do you know? - I looked her up, 734 00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:47,610 a long time ago. 735 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:51,094 Elaine Parris, 120 Egerton Road. Simple as that. 736 00:34:51,282 --> 00:34:52,532 Because what else could I do? 737 00:34:52,557 --> 00:34:54,438 Stuck in this house with no money. 738 00:34:54,706 --> 00:34:57,696 So, I did the only thing I could do, I drove there. 739 00:34:58,478 --> 00:35:02,048 This was last year, Stephen, last year this was September. 740 00:35:02,923 --> 00:35:05,259 I sat outside in the car, and I thought, 741 00:35:05,704 --> 00:35:06,765 "This is where he does it. 742 00:35:06,765 --> 00:35:09,642 "This is where he makes that noise and slops it into her." 743 00:35:10,554 --> 00:35:12,777 I'm sorry, Celeste, but I think that's actually a little bit weird. 744 00:35:12,801 --> 00:35:15,041 You can think whatever you like, because you can pack your bags 745 00:35:15,065 --> 00:35:18,134 right now and take your arse back to Egerton Road! 746 00:35:18,485 --> 00:35:20,605 - But I'm not with Elaine. We're not... - [SHE SCOFFS] 747 00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:23,704 Besides, I don't think you realise I can't leave. 748 00:35:23,729 --> 00:35:25,211 This is my family's house. 749 00:35:25,236 --> 00:35:27,648 Hold on. If you don't mind. 750 00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:30,756 Excuse me, I think if you look at the deeds, 751 00:35:30,781 --> 00:35:32,429 this is still my house. 752 00:35:32,454 --> 00:35:34,711 I'm really, really sorry, but not now, Gran. Seriously. 753 00:35:34,736 --> 00:35:36,732 No, it's highly pertinent. 754 00:35:36,936 --> 00:35:39,706 We've got two young girls upstairs who have had more than enough 755 00:35:39,731 --> 00:35:41,008 trouble for one night. 756 00:35:41,445 --> 00:35:44,008 And I agree with Celeste, get out. 757 00:35:48,248 --> 00:35:49,248 Thank you. 758 00:35:49,953 --> 00:35:53,273 I am so disappointed to discover 759 00:35:53,298 --> 00:35:56,726 that you are your father's son. 760 00:35:57,328 --> 00:35:59,484 Your mother would've been disgusted. 761 00:36:01,179 --> 00:36:03,422 - Don't say that. - She would've been disgusted. 762 00:36:04,859 --> 00:36:06,594 I am so sorry. 763 00:36:14,183 --> 00:36:15,609 Do what Granny says, then. 764 00:36:17,007 --> 00:36:18,007 Out. 765 00:36:37,491 --> 00:36:39,336 You're so stupid, Dad. 766 00:36:41,066 --> 00:36:42,066 I know. 767 00:36:44,094 --> 00:36:45,570 I'm sorry. 768 00:36:57,683 --> 00:36:58,914 What colour is she? 769 00:37:00,785 --> 00:37:02,789 Elaine? She's white. 770 00:37:04,141 --> 00:37:05,141 Bye. 771 00:37:11,624 --> 00:37:14,094 You're not taking the car. I need it for the girls. 772 00:37:14,234 --> 00:37:15,492 You can bike. 773 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:52,000 There is a man I met at Three Bridges, 774 00:37:52,124 --> 00:37:55,104 and he says for a passport and a breath test 775 00:37:55,229 --> 00:37:56,945 we need to find a woman called Elodie. 776 00:37:58,777 --> 00:37:59,777 All right. 777 00:38:18,867 --> 00:38:19,891 Bonjour. 778 00:38:21,635 --> 00:38:23,258 Nous cherchons Elodie. 779 00:38:23,592 --> 00:38:26,117 On m'a dit que c'est possible de la rencontrer. 780 00:38:26,672 --> 00:38:27,672 À midi. 781 00:38:27,896 --> 00:38:28,896 Ici. 782 00:38:29,554 --> 00:38:30,734 Oui ? 783 00:38:51,381 --> 00:38:55,109 It is 2,000 for the breath test, it is 4,000 for the passport. 784 00:38:55,219 --> 00:38:57,062 - I need the money now. - Er, no. 785 00:38:57,976 --> 00:38:59,641 No, we're only going to pay when we've got them. 786 00:38:59,665 --> 00:39:01,797 Money in advance, or you can go. 787 00:39:08,250 --> 00:39:10,163 So, the passports cost more than the breath test? 788 00:39:10,187 --> 00:39:13,765 Well, the breath test is easy, it's like a mint in the mouth, 789 00:39:13,765 --> 00:39:15,772 but the passport is not easy. 790 00:39:15,992 --> 00:39:18,769 It is not paper any more, it is a polymer. 791 00:39:18,912 --> 00:39:20,515 And I'll need your passport. 792 00:39:22,195 --> 00:39:24,344 - Mine? What for? - To copy. 793 00:39:24,632 --> 00:39:26,500 Where do you think the fake's come from? 794 00:39:26,768 --> 00:39:29,014 With a different photograph, of course. 795 00:39:29,039 --> 00:39:31,805 - Have you? - Yes. Right, I've got that. 796 00:39:31,830 --> 00:39:32,867 Thank you. 797 00:39:36,413 --> 00:39:38,748 I'll get this back straight away? 798 00:39:38,773 --> 00:39:42,429 If you don't trust me, please, go to another. I don't mind. 799 00:39:45,785 --> 00:39:46,813 It's all right. 800 00:39:51,100 --> 00:39:56,383 Daniel Samuel Lyons, born in 1989, Manchester? 801 00:39:56,844 --> 00:39:58,429 Council officer. 802 00:40:00,772 --> 00:40:05,776 Explain to me, how did the council officer find himself here? 803 00:40:07,503 --> 00:40:08,671 Because of him. 804 00:40:15,958 --> 00:40:18,094 Now, breath test. 805 00:40:18,634 --> 00:40:19,650 Won't take long. 806 00:40:21,213 --> 00:40:25,539 To be precise, we should have a qualified dentist in attendance, 807 00:40:25,564 --> 00:40:28,225 but we only have a nurse, so if you'd like to sue us 808 00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:31,691 for malpractice, we will fight you through the courts. 809 00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:40,406 Wait here. Two minutes. 810 00:40:40,431 --> 00:40:41,435 All right. 811 00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:44,496 Just a small cap on the tooth, it needs fixing. 812 00:40:44,785 --> 00:40:48,195 They say it hurts, but I'm sure you can manage. 813 00:40:48,574 --> 00:40:51,781 Boys like you, little bit of pain... 814 00:40:53,475 --> 00:40:54,531 Oh, my God. 815 00:40:54,875 --> 00:40:56,375 She hates us! 816 00:40:56,648 --> 00:40:57,764 She really hates us. 817 00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,172 What does she mean, this tooth cap thing? 818 00:41:00,777 --> 00:41:01,809 I hate teeth. 819 00:41:01,809 --> 00:41:03,164 I don't care. 820 00:41:03,577 --> 00:41:05,422 Just fix it in place with a hammer, 821 00:41:05,447 --> 00:41:07,156 just let me through! 822 00:41:08,761 --> 00:41:10,320 God, 6,000 euros. 823 00:41:11,413 --> 00:41:13,679 - Jesus. - I'm sorry. 824 00:41:15,530 --> 00:41:16,640 Hey, no... 825 00:41:17,187 --> 00:41:18,562 It's worth every penny. 826 00:41:18,723 --> 00:41:20,500 Really... Don't do that. 827 00:41:20,570 --> 00:41:25,070 I said... I said, duh, whatever it takes, didn't I? 828 00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:26,582 Hmm? 829 00:41:47,035 --> 00:41:50,007 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit... 830 00:41:51,793 --> 00:41:53,745 Oh! What was it? Was it her? 831 00:41:56,323 --> 00:41:57,492 She's coming back. 832 00:41:59,412 --> 00:42:00,695 She has to print that stuff... 833 00:42:01,757 --> 00:42:02,953 She's printed... 834 00:42:03,757 --> 00:42:05,133 She's coming back, yeah? 835 00:42:06,656 --> 00:42:07,789 Do you think? 836 00:42:20,213 --> 00:42:25,219 [SCREAMS IN ANGUISH] 837 00:42:35,437 --> 00:42:36,976 You could still go home. 838 00:42:40,922 --> 00:42:44,695 Walk up to customs... "Hey, my passport was stolen." 839 00:42:45,765 --> 00:42:49,725 "OK, no problem, this way, sir." 840 00:42:50,934 --> 00:42:51,942 Yeah... 841 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:54,408 Bye, then. 842 00:42:55,581 --> 00:42:58,219 - Well, you could. - I'm taking you home. 843 00:42:59,291 --> 00:43:00,776 We can't get on the ferry. 844 00:43:01,078 --> 00:43:03,289 Well, we just have to try a different sort of plan. 845 00:43:04,382 --> 00:43:06,976 22 miles, that's all. 846 00:43:08,409 --> 00:43:10,609 Just need to cross 22 miles. 847 00:43:22,549 --> 00:43:23,549 Mummy. 848 00:43:24,655 --> 00:43:25,663 In you get. 849 00:43:36,590 --> 00:43:37,646 What an idiot. 850 00:43:38,004 --> 00:43:39,004 Okay. 851 00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:41,617 I don't want you criticising your dad, 852 00:43:42,386 --> 00:43:45,297 but, yeah, blasted fool, fool man. 853 00:43:48,002 --> 00:43:51,187 I can't believe you knew for ages. 854 00:43:51,558 --> 00:43:53,133 So, you knew at Christmas? 855 00:43:53,624 --> 00:43:56,476 - Yeah. - And that party on New Year's Eve? 856 00:43:56,501 --> 00:43:58,967 - Yeah. - And on my birthday, you knew then? 857 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,265 How did you do it? 858 00:44:00,922 --> 00:44:01,922 No choice. 859 00:44:02,781 --> 00:44:04,383 I was trapped here with him. 860 00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:07,737 No house, no money, no savings. 861 00:44:08,562 --> 00:44:10,258 I mean, what else could we have done? 862 00:44:10,764 --> 00:44:12,764 Go and live with your gran in Port Maria? 863 00:44:12,890 --> 00:44:14,976 - Oh, no way. - No, thanks. 864 00:44:16,271 --> 00:44:17,347 You know what she'd say? 865 00:44:18,175 --> 00:44:21,714 You not too wicked and bad. It's hell you're heading for! 866 00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:24,386 And as for you, Bethany, 867 00:44:24,411 --> 00:44:27,893 now bringing dem sodomite nastiness around you! 868 00:44:32,836 --> 00:44:34,780 The thing is, I get up at six. 869 00:44:37,366 --> 00:44:38,370 That's okay. 870 00:44:38,395 --> 00:44:40,964 I get up at six and I do my exercises. 871 00:44:41,699 --> 00:44:43,393 I do callisthenics in here. 872 00:44:45,475 --> 00:44:48,104 Well, I'll stay in bed, if you don't mind. 873 00:44:48,534 --> 00:44:52,594 No, but I don't particularly want you watching. 874 00:44:52,987 --> 00:44:54,769 Why? What does callisthenics involve? 875 00:44:54,769 --> 00:44:55,773 Nothing. 876 00:44:58,682 --> 00:45:01,143 But it's mine, it's my little hour, 877 00:45:01,168 --> 00:45:02,284 all to myself. 878 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,807 - Well, I'll be asleep. - But you won't. 879 00:45:07,918 --> 00:45:10,792 And we've only got the one room you'll be staring. 880 00:45:12,781 --> 00:45:16,830 So I thought you could get up at six and go for a coffee and come back 881 00:45:16,863 --> 00:45:18,643 - at seven, is that all right? - Um... 882 00:45:20,426 --> 00:45:21,784 Yeah, if you want. 883 00:45:22,090 --> 00:45:23,094 Thanks. 884 00:45:28,150 --> 00:45:29,377 Is that every day? 885 00:45:29,734 --> 00:45:30,738 Yes. 886 00:45:32,781 --> 00:45:33,785 Okay. 887 00:45:41,620 --> 00:45:44,182 OK, transport 3,000 euros per person. 888 00:45:44,207 --> 00:45:46,211 So, 6,000 total. 889 00:45:46,335 --> 00:45:50,359 Okay, but I refuse to give you the money until we're on the boat. 890 00:45:50,384 --> 00:45:51,471 You pay now. 891 00:45:51,496 --> 00:45:54,978 Yes, I understand, but I want to wait until I can see the boat. 892 00:45:55,003 --> 00:45:56,479 No, you have to pay now. 893 00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:58,764 Look, this has happened before and we have been robbed. 894 00:45:58,789 --> 00:46:00,760 Unfortunate! You pay now. 895 00:46:00,785 --> 00:46:02,589 Well, I absolutely refuse. 896 00:46:02,925 --> 00:46:04,229 Okay, good luck. 897 00:46:04,254 --> 00:46:05,334 We finish. 898 00:46:06,089 --> 00:46:08,048 No, no, no, just wait, wait, wait, wait! 899 00:46:08,073 --> 00:46:09,378 Just... look. 900 00:46:10,945 --> 00:46:11,965 I'll pay half. 901 00:46:11,990 --> 00:46:13,073 You give all. 902 00:46:19,714 --> 00:46:20,718 Okay. 903 00:46:39,793 --> 00:46:40,880 FRENCH FEMALE NEWSREADER: C'est le jour du vote, 904 00:46:40,904 --> 00:46:43,481 et les sondages prévoient un choc immense. 905 00:47:03,408 --> 00:47:04,412 That's him. 906 00:47:05,764 --> 00:47:07,317 - Yes! - Come on, get the bag. 907 00:47:07,342 --> 00:47:10,246 [THEY SPEAK IN OWN LANGUAGE] 908 00:47:10,271 --> 00:47:11,671 Allez, on se dépêche ! 909 00:47:11,696 --> 00:47:13,770 S'il n'y a pas de place, vous restez debout ! 910 00:47:13,795 --> 00:47:15,128 Allez, on se bouge ! 911 00:47:25,996 --> 00:47:29,785 It said Cran de Quette. It's a bit of headland. 912 00:47:30,628 --> 00:47:32,199 Hey, do you see? 913 00:47:32,548 --> 00:47:36,414 We're actually closer to England now. More like 20 miles. 914 00:47:42,956 --> 00:47:43,956 C'est par-là. 915 00:47:48,613 --> 00:47:50,660 Allez, on bouge. Plus vite ! Allez, allez, allez ! 916 00:47:50,969 --> 00:47:52,082 Is that the boat? 917 00:47:53,176 --> 00:47:54,976 That's not the boat that takes us to the boat? 918 00:47:55,606 --> 00:47:56,731 No, I think that's it. 919 00:47:57,961 --> 00:47:58,961 Okay. 920 00:47:59,495 --> 00:48:01,588 Well, never mind, good. 20 miles that's all. 921 00:48:01,613 --> 00:48:03,064 Gilet de sauvetage, allez. 922 00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:04,093 20 miles. 923 00:48:04,118 --> 00:48:05,736 Allez, on se bouge ! On se bouge. 924 00:48:05,761 --> 00:48:07,002 Eh vous, n'oubliez pas. 925 00:48:07,588 --> 00:48:09,111 Allez, vite, vite ! 926 00:48:11,476 --> 00:48:14,252 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on, hold on, hold on. 927 00:48:14,277 --> 00:48:15,677 Hold that, hold that. 928 00:48:17,385 --> 00:48:19,283 Danny, what are you doing? 929 00:48:19,308 --> 00:48:21,088 I'm keeping them dry you should do the same. 930 00:48:22,143 --> 00:48:23,764 Danny, look, we're going to get wet. 931 00:48:23,789 --> 00:48:26,390 No, but I've worked with people, I've seen this, you get foot rot. 932 00:48:53,797 --> 00:48:55,761 Come over, come on! 933 00:49:06,797 --> 00:49:08,650 [HORNS BEEP] 934 00:49:08,675 --> 00:49:09,679 Oh, shit! 935 00:49:12,912 --> 00:49:14,650 Oh, they're not getting on board, are they? 936 00:49:16,002 --> 00:49:18,478 There must be another boat, there's got to be another boat! 937 00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:28,627 There is no room! There's no room! 938 00:49:28,827 --> 00:49:31,483 There's not enough room, you can see, you can see, 939 00:49:31,508 --> 00:49:33,108 there's not enough room! 940 00:49:34,081 --> 00:49:37,740 [HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE] 941 00:49:42,986 --> 00:49:48,147 Oh, shit! OK, budge up, budge up! No, no. Wait! 942 00:49:48,374 --> 00:49:51,498 It doesn't matter, doesn't matter! Come. Come. 943 00:49:53,350 --> 00:49:58,366 [SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE] 944 00:49:59,014 --> 00:50:01,616 Danny, we can get off. We can get off. 945 00:50:01,641 --> 00:50:06,633 - No, we can do this. We can do it. - No, no. 946 00:50:13,683 --> 00:50:15,183 Vas-y, démarre le bâteau ! 947 00:50:15,323 --> 00:50:16,390 Vas-y, démarre ! 948 00:50:16,567 --> 00:50:17,972 Vas-y, c'est bon, démarre ! 949 00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:34,668 [SCREAMING] 950 00:50:35,512 --> 00:50:37,129 [SCREAMING] 951 00:50:38,020 --> 00:50:39,535 [SCREAMING] 952 00:50:40,494 --> 00:50:41,762 [SCREAMING] 953 00:51:50,321 --> 00:51:51,574 Are you on your own? 954 00:51:52,723 --> 00:51:54,426 [HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE] 955 00:51:54,451 --> 00:51:55,597 What's your name? 956 00:51:57,261 --> 00:51:58,488 [HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE] 957 00:52:01,221 --> 00:52:02,793 Have you got any paperwork with you? 958 00:52:06,687 --> 00:52:08,615 [HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE] 959 00:52:12,629 --> 00:52:13,926 Where have you come from? 960 00:52:21,148 --> 00:52:22,228 [HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE] 961 00:52:33,113 --> 00:52:38,073 Astonishing day, astonishing day, astonishing day! 962 00:53:07,797 --> 00:53:13,081 [BEEPING] 963 00:53:15,797 --> 00:53:17,776 [BEEPING STOPS] 964 00:53:59,107 --> 00:54:00,107 Call link. 965 00:54:01,182 --> 00:54:04,048 No, call family link, audio only. 966 00:54:04,073 --> 00:54:05,749 Calling family link. 967 00:54:09,112 --> 00:54:11,214 Danny, have you seen the news over here? 968 00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:13,691 Your favourite woman Prime Minister! 969 00:54:13,716 --> 00:54:14,995 I've actually met her. 970 00:54:15,057 --> 00:54:19,064 I love it, she's a nightmare, the whole system's in pieces. 971 00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:21,925 Oh, Dan, mate, no, take me off the family link. 972 00:54:22,507 --> 00:54:23,573 We've got to catch up. 973 00:54:23,598 --> 00:54:25,524 A lot of things have changed since you went away. 974 00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:26,769 Sorry, Celeste. 975 00:54:26,794 --> 00:54:29,105 I don't mind. It doesn't bother me, you stay on the link. 976 00:54:29,714 --> 00:54:32,001 Just do what you want. You're very fond of saying 977 00:54:32,026 --> 00:54:33,198 it's your family. 978 00:54:33,223 --> 00:54:34,355 Don't start. 979 00:54:34,425 --> 00:54:35,964 Excuse me! 980 00:54:36,261 --> 00:54:40,095 I think, if anyone started this, it was you, Stephen. 981 00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,886 Can I just point out... Daniel left his husband for someone else, 982 00:54:42,911 --> 00:54:44,237 no-one had a go at him. 983 00:54:44,262 --> 00:54:45,784 Me, it's the end of the world. 984 00:54:46,113 --> 00:54:47,174 Why is that? 985 00:54:47,534 --> 00:54:48,772 I thought I'd better say. 986 00:54:48,948 --> 00:54:52,378 Oh, Viktor, sorry, are you okay? 987 00:54:52,460 --> 00:54:53,994 Hello! Where are you? 988 00:54:54,019 --> 00:54:56,090 Oh, Vik, mate, do us a favour put Daniel on. 989 00:54:56,317 --> 00:54:57,317 It's a long story. 990 00:54:57,374 --> 00:54:59,128 Wait, sorry, but it says you're home. 991 00:54:59,683 --> 00:55:01,520 You're phoning from Uncle Dan's. You're in Britain? 992 00:55:01,544 --> 00:55:03,347 Oh, my God, no way! 993 00:55:03,372 --> 00:55:04,400 You did it. 994 00:55:04,569 --> 00:55:05,585 How did that happen? 995 00:55:05,610 --> 00:55:07,425 Oh, that's brilliant! 996 00:55:07,450 --> 00:55:09,323 That's amazing! How did you do it, Dan? 997 00:55:11,476 --> 00:55:13,042 Danny, are you there? 998 00:55:15,307 --> 00:55:17,245 I'm at the house and Daniel's dead. 999 00:55:19,777 --> 00:55:21,237 I'm sorry, but he drowned. 1000 00:55:23,229 --> 00:55:25,019 We thought we could get across the Channel, 1001 00:55:25,948 --> 00:55:28,190 but on the news it says 17 bodies... 1002 00:55:29,593 --> 00:55:30,659 that was Daniel. 1003 00:55:31,590 --> 00:55:32,590 He's dead. 1004 00:55:33,288 --> 00:55:34,292 He drowned. 1005 00:55:35,690 --> 00:55:39,646 We got half a mile from the shore, but that's a very long way. 1006 00:55:41,601 --> 00:55:42,765 - What? - The police don't know. 1007 00:55:42,789 --> 00:55:45,549 His passport was gone, his wallet was in his bag, 1008 00:55:45,574 --> 00:55:46,768 and his bag was lost. 1009 00:55:47,899 --> 00:55:52,455 So, he's in a town on the coast called Rye, unidentified. 1010 00:55:53,753 --> 00:55:54,908 I didn't want to do that. 1011 00:55:56,846 --> 00:56:00,826 But I thought, if I came here, they'd never find me. 1012 00:56:03,683 --> 00:56:05,189 That doesn't work, I know. 1013 00:56:07,584 --> 00:56:11,844 I apologise to you all, but we got on the boat, 1014 00:56:12,319 --> 00:56:13,453 and the boat sank. 1015 00:56:14,526 --> 00:56:15,649 And he's dead. 1016 00:56:19,269 --> 00:56:20,430 I came home. 1017 00:56:22,008 --> 00:56:23,008 Is this home? 1018 00:57:07,295 --> 00:57:08,299 Okay. 1019 00:57:35,784 --> 00:57:37,149 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1020 00:57:38,805 --> 00:57:40,735 Viktor, please, are you there? 1021 00:57:42,329 --> 00:57:43,329 Viktor! 1022 00:57:44,559 --> 00:57:45,735 Viktor? 1023 00:57:45,835 --> 00:57:47,625 Open the door! 1024 00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:50,274 Viktor! 1025 00:57:51,565 --> 00:57:52,621 Viktor! 1026 00:57:52,763 --> 00:57:56,163 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 75766

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