Original subtitles

Pam dunstan, admiral Fitch.

How do you do?

Jason eldridge.

How do you do, sir.

And Fergie you already know.

Good to see you again, sir.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you get your furniture moved?

Sir?

Sounded like you dropped a small piano.

I'm afraid that was my fault, admiral.

Yeah.

She has a habit of running into tables, sir.

That's a common failing.

Where are you heading for?

The casino.

Fergie wants to try his luck

at a little roulette.

Yeah, we would like to invite you, sir,

but I understand the casino

is off-limits to Navy personnel.

Not for admirals.

Run along.

Run along.

Don't stay out all night.

Good night, dad.

May we drop you somewhere, sir?

No, I'll walk down.

No.

Gondola, signore?

Gondola?

Gondola for hire.

Gondola!

Gondola, signore?

Power boat.

Fergie, a gondola, please?

A gondola?

Who's got time for rowboats?

I have.

I'm in venice for the first time in my life.

There's a moon, and a man

who says he thinks he loves me.

Prove it!

This is going to cost us a fortune.

Gondola, signore?

Gondola, signore.

Where did you find this?

Just below, sir.

In the canal.

One of our men saw it bounce off the embankment,

but we couldn't tell where it fell from.

If there's been a slip-up in this hotel search,

I'll have somebody's eyeteeth for it!

Burford?

Herbie?

Speak to me!

Sir, if that drop is to take place at 12:00,

I got to know where we stand.

Are you still here?

Why don't you go and write a treaty or something?

I hate to think what they are saying right now

at the American consulate.

I don't give a hoot what they are saying

at the American consulate.

It's that other consulate that worries me.

12, on the red!

Bet, professor?

After 12, drop will be repeated once.

12, 28, 35.

12, 28, 35.

There is no such a thing as a system.

He must lose.

I better go out and rent a barge.

I think we're going to need it.

Yeah well, don't forget the shovels.

No more bets, please.

35, in the black.

What's your suggestion, Dr. Eldridge?

11, 30, 36.

For the croupiers.

Grazie.

And see what the croupiers

in the back room will have.

Grazie, grazie.

Hope the fleet sticks around a few days.

I may buy Italy.

11 in the black.

There is no such thing as a system.

Somewhere he has got to fail.

Come in, burford.

Come in!

Do you read me, burford?

Do you read?

Answer!

Don't be mad at me, Gladys.

I'm going to be all right, Gladys.

Gladys isn't here. I'm just a friend,

and I'm taking care of you.

Would you go back to sleep now?

Sleep on duty?

That's an insult to the U.S. Navy.

Hello, herbie?

This is burford ram...

I wouldn't use that thing if I were you.

Let go!

You don't get yourself in trouble!

Let go of the talkie... Now, listen to me.

And listen carefully.

I'm a martian... Do you hear me?

Come in burford.

Do you hear me? Come in!

Martian?

I was just joking.

I'm a lieutenant j.G.!

I'm one of us!

Signalman Taylor here.

Signalman Taylor.

Over and out.

Gondola, signore?

Gondola?

To the casino, please!

And hurry!

Gondola?

Gondola!

Follow that martian!

Follow that martian!

Yes.

You're sure of that?

When?

I see.

What, what?

What is... American consulate.

Yes, go on.

Right now?

Yes, I see.

I'll do what I can.

Roger.

What is it?

What is it?

Some American at the casino

is breaking the bank.

Will someone please protect me from this idiot!

The casino is run by the Italian government.

Why, the entire city of venice depends for

its existence on the profits from the casino.

Before this night is finished,

there may not be a city of venice.

In which case, your troubles are over.

This game is over!

The table is closed.

Did I hear you correctly, sir?

Did I understand you to say...

You heard me correctly.

The table is closed.

You can't do that just because a fellow

has a little run of luck.

How much are we ahead?

More or less a lousy $112,000.

And you want to call it quits?

Pretty chintzy, wouldn't you say?

Yeah, I'd say.

Wait until they hear about this in monte Carlo.

Wait until they hear it in Las Vegas.

It is only this table that is closed.

You may play at one of the other tables.

I don't want to play at one of the other tables.

- Do I? - No.

No!

I want this table.

Very well.

The table will remain open

for exactly 15 minutes.

No limit on the last roll?

No limits on the last roll.

What's the formula?

4, 19, 21.

Go!

Did you ever see this before?

Did you ever see this before?

Yes, sir.

Certainly did, sir.

Where did you see it?

On the fourth floor of this building, sir.

I was crawling all over it.

You were crawling all over the blinker?

No, sir.

The fourth floor, sir.

Crawling.

Drunk as he is, I can believe it.

He may not be drunk, sir.

It's possible he's been drugged.

Yes, sir.

That's right, sir.

Drugged, sir.

Drugged, sir.

Well, start again.

You found this blinker tonight?

I certainly did, sir.

Where were you?

I was in a private suite, sir.

On the fourth floor, sir.

I was out on the letch.

What?

I was in a suite on the fourth floor, sir.

I was out on the letch.

Tonight?

Yes, sir!

On the letch?

Yes, sir.

I would be a little careful what I confess

if I were you, sailor.

Well no, sir.

No, sir.

Not-not the letch.

On-on the letch.

On-on the letch, sir.

I think he means the ledge.

I know what he means.

You found this on the ledge?

Yes, sir.

The ledge... Yes, sir.

Could I take a nap now, sir?

No, you may not.

No, I may not, sir.

Do you know who you are talking to, sailor?

Yes, sir.

Captain Fitch, sir.

Admiral Fitch.

Admiral Fitch, sir.

That's right, sir.

How's your daughter, sir?

My daughter is fine.

What do you mean how is my daughter?

Well, I met her tonight, sir.

Where? When?

What?

I don't remember, sir.

We drugged.

Well, try to remember this.

When you found the blinker,

was it in the condition that it's in now?

Absolutely not, sir.

But then, what happened to it?

Fell off the building, sir.

Right on the street.

Vrooom!

You mean you dropped it?

No, sir.

You dropped the blinker!

No, sir. I did not, sir.

It was the lieutenant, sir.

What lieutenant?

Lieutenant Ferguson Howard, sir.

He dropped it.

Lieutenant Ferguson Howard?

All right, let's have a little talk

with lieutenant Ferguson Howard.

Get a hold of this lieutenant ferg...

Ferguson Howard?

Yes, sir.

Fine officer, sir.

A lieutenant, did you say?

Yes, sir.

Lieutenant Ferguson Howard.

I know that lieutenant, sir.

He happens to be in my command.

Not for long, though.

Where's my barge?

Below, sir, at the dock.

Well, get the steam up.

We're going to the casino.

You too, sailor!

Grazie, signore. Buona fortuna!

There is no such a thing as a system.

Pay the signore once more...

Getting a little tiresome, isn't it?

Monotonous, really.

I've never been so bored in my life.

What do you say we blow this joint and take in a movie?

You will not be bored much longer, signore.

The next will be your last bet.

So soon.

Well.

What number should we risk

our money on now, professor?

11, 8 and 30.

And how much should we risk?

I don't know.

Let's not be greedy.

No, let's not.

The works.

Signore, do you realize, if you win,

how much that will be?

Well, I haven't figured it out to the penny.

But I imagine it'll be quite a pittance.

A pitt-pitt-pittance?

Pittance.

What are you doing here?

That sailor, you know that sailor?

Your orders were to watch him every second.

I did.

Then why aren't you with him now?

Because he just fell in the grand canal, that's why.

He woke up, and he's on the loose.

If they get a hold of him, they might put two and two together.

That movie sounds like a fine idea, let's go.

- Come on! - I'm ready!

Let's not lose our heads!

All we've got is one roll.

As soon as we cash in, we head for the hotel.

Beau, you start now.

Soon as you get there...

Well, look who's here!

I see you decided to come, sir.

Yeah.

Who is it?

The elevator boy.

We've been playing a little roulette.

How are you doing?

Pretty well, sir.

As a matter of fact, I'm about to make a killing.

That's interesting.

So am I.

On your feet, lieutenant Howard!

Signore, is there something I can do

for the United States Navy?

Yeah, yeah.

Rent me a room.

Where I can hold a quiet court-martial.

Certamente, signore.

Perdonne, perdonne.

Grazie, grazie...

Why wouldn't they buy me that bicycle?

Lieutenant, can you think of one reason

why you should not spend the next 20 years

in solitary confinement?

I think 20 years is a fair shake, sir.

Considering your offenses, it's charity.

Purloining and destroying Navy property,

the blinker.

Out of uniform, a defiance of orders.

Deliberately helping a sailor become drunk and disorderly.

I don't need any help for that, sir.

I can manage all right.

So thank you very mu... Never mind.

Yes, sir.

And most important, operating top secret Navy equipment.

Gambling for personal profit.

Through the use, abuse, and prostitution

of an electronic brain...

Let's make that 30 years, shall we?

30 years it is, sir.

Mr. Eldridge...

You're not subject to Navy discipline,

but I'm sure I can guarantee you

an equally unhappy future.

No doubt of it, sir.

And as for you lieutenant schillkraut...

I'm Gilliam, sir.

Beauregard gi...

As for you, lieutenant schillkraut,

now, y-you're just a dupe.

So I have decided to let you off easy.

From now until retirement age,

you will peel potatoes on a Navy garbage scull.

Thank you, sir.

Admiral, since we all know what the score is around here,

I think you can dispense with my presence?

I could have dispensed with your presence at 7:00.

I merely want assurance that these men

will receive the punishment they deserve.

I shall so suggest in my report.

You're going to make a report?

I most certainly am.

And I shall mention them all by name.

My fiancee, of course, had nothing to do with it, I'm sure.

As for this young lady, I don't know her,

but she's a criminal type if I ever saw one.

Make sure that she's in your report.

Get her name right.

She's my daughter.

Your daughter?

Young foghorn.

Look, dad, let's not be silly about this.

You can't put Fergie in the brig.

No?

Watch me!

Well, if you want a jailbird

for a son-in-law, it's up to you.

What?

I'm going to marry Fergie.

And the sooner the better.

Julie, I don't think now is exactly the...

You keep quiet.

I was only trying to... Quiet!

Julie, I will not permit you to sacrifice yourself

for this harebrained excuse for a lieutenant.

It won't be any sacrifice.

I'll enjoy every minute.

Well then, let me say, I forbid you.

Dad, I've got to marry, Fergie.

And he's got to marry me.

Julie, think what you are saying.

You mean it's necessary?

Sorry, dad.

S-s-sir, she doesn't mean that.

She's only trying... Julie?

You're putting a rope around my neck.

Sir, would you take the word of an officer and a gentleman?

- Where is he? - Listen, sir.

I swear, nothing happened tonight.

All we did was have dinner, sir.

Dinner.

And a couple of short vodkas.

That's all. Is there any crime against that, sir?

Nice going, Julie!

Thank you.

If you don't believe every word I say, sir,

forget the 30 years, and swing me from

the highest yard arm, sir.

I'm considering that.

Start glowing, Fergie.

You're gonna need it.

Excuse me, sir.

I think we should discuss this calmly, and without passion.

I don't blame you for being upset, sir.

I'd be upset myself, sir, if I were in

the spot you're in.

I'm in a spot?

However, I think I can get you out of it.

As I see it, sir.

Your problem is threefold.

First, your daughter.

Naturally you're concerned about her, and why not?

You can put your mind at rest, sir.

Because I'm going to be your son-in-law.

That's a comforting thought.

Fergie, you're an honorable man.

So much for your first problem.

Your second, sir.

How to overlook my crimes

and still preserve your honors and officers.

Frankly, sir.

That has me worried.

This isn't really happening?

No, no.

I-I-I'm home in bed.

I-I'm fast asleep.

Admiral, do you realize what this man is doing?

He's making you look like a...

Well, like a... Like a what?!

You know your duty, sir.

That money out there.

Why don't you return it

to the casino immediately?

Why don't you close your loud mouth?

Pam!

We need that money.

If Jason doesn't get it, he may not marry me.

You're going to marry Jason eldridge?

Did I forget to mention that?

Yes.

Pam!

Our engagement is off.

I believe I prefer it that way, old man.

I think I'll turn this whole thing

over to the fleet psychiatrist.

We haven't discussed problem 3, sir.

Let's not miss problem 3.

You don't seem to realize, sir.

Your whole naval career is teetering

on the brink of disaster.

A few minutes ago I was only in a bad spot.

What happened to me since?

Sir, out on that table is a sizable bet.

And if one of our numbers hits, and it will, sir,

there will be a fortune involved.

And where is half of that fortune supposed to go, sir?

To the Navy relief, sir.

That's where it's supposed to go.

It is?

You remember me telling you, lieutenant?

50 percent of our take earmarked for our boys

in the United States Navy.

Certainly you remember, Jason?

I have a wonderful memory.

Admiral, I don't have to lecture you

on the importance of Navy relief.

And I know you don't want to stand in the way.

So I think we should adjourn this meeting.

And go take care of our boys, in the service.

Sir, if you turn your back on this Navy windfall,

I refuse to be responsible for your future.

Out!

Everybody out!

Except you!

What are you waiting for?

Get out! Get out!

Outside!

Lieutenant, in my long career in the Navy,

I have never struck a man.

But the time is now ripe.

Take off your coat!

Sir, listen, think about the difference of our ages.

Never mind the excuses.

Put up your hands!

Sir, listen, you can't do this.

No, let's see.

Admiral, I got to speak to you.

Later, later.

Sir, it's top urgent.

The Soviet consul likes to know what's happening in here.

The whole deal.

They just called a press conference.

So?

They say, sir, that the United States Navy

has conspired through an electronic formula

to break the bank of this casino.

And the Republic of Italy along with it.

No, that's ridiculous.

The exact words are, in propaganda language,

"looting the resources of a friendly power

in violation of sacred covenants."

Sir, they could blow this up like a balloon.

I hope you're a happy man, lieutenant.

You have now succeeded in fomenting

an international crisis. Single-handed.

Sir, there's a very simple solution to this whole thing.

Let me go out to that table.

I'll call off all the bets

and leave the casino.

For good, sir.

With how much?

Well, I'm not sure, sir.

But maybe a few hundred million lire...

A few hundred million... you call that a...

You may have an idea, lieutenant.

Thank you, sir.

But I am going to go you one better.

Yes, sir.

You say one of your 3 numbers is bound to win?

Can't help it, sir.

Therefore, any other 3 numbers are bound to lose.

That's right, sir.

Therefore, and hear me good, lieutenant, hear me good.

You are going out to that table,

and you are going to lose every, single million!

Umph.

What's going on?

Is he letting you gamble?

He insists on it. What?

I thought he was going to court-martial you?

He is.

Go ahead, lieutenant.

Let's have no foul-up.

Sit down!

Don't you have a report to write up?

No, I have decided against it.

After all, in a few weeks,

they are going to give me Rome.

When I finish my report,

you'll be lucky to get Liechtenstein.

Are we ready to gamble?

If you can call it that.

Your numbers are 8, 11 and 30.

Is that correct?

Correct.

All set, Fergie?

Change of numbers.

What?

What?

I want 9, 16, and 2.

You want what?

What?

Will you stop saying what?

Just switch the bets.

For Pete's sakes, why?

Yes, signore.

Why?

Your system has broken down perhaps?

Look, I'm making a simple request.

I want this on 9, I want this on 16, and I want...

No, no changes!

The bets have been placed.

It is too late.

- Now, wait a minute! - No waiting!

Spin the wheel.

Hold it!

Want a riot? A riot?

This could start a war.

Now you listen to me... No!

You listen to me?

I said there is no such a thing as a system,

and I will prove it.

Start the ball.

And no tricks,

carbieri, watch every move of the signore?

Every move.

The ball is spinning.

The winning number is

9, 27, and 30.

All bets are off.

All bets are not off.

Number 30 wins!

Those chips belong to the casino.

Gentlemen... Now, please...

You listen to me, old eldridge.

Money or no money... Yeah, sure.

Bets or no bets,

you're going to marry me, do you hear?

If you don't, my father will have you stuffed!

So that's the way it is, is it, Harvey?

Signalman Taylor here.

Seems to be some excitement over at the casino.

Arrest that man!

Take me to a blacksmith shop.

In venice, sir?

What for?

Good heavens, sir!

Who's responsible for this?

That's my future son-in-law.

Beau, it's all right.

We're married.