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1
00:00:14,992 --> 00:00:16,131
Help me.
2
00:00:17,306 --> 00:00:18,306
Help me!
3
00:00:18,307 --> 00:00:19,411
What's she saying?
4
00:00:19,446 --> 00:00:21,438
Well, if it's the B.J. from last night,
5
00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:23,588
she's probably saying, "Hump
me, hump me." Right, Dump?
6
00:00:26,022 --> 00:00:27,844
I am not B.J., idiots!
7
00:00:27,845 --> 00:00:29,820
So I suppose you're
the missing girl, then?
8
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,899
- No. I'm her mother.
- You're B.J.'s mom?
9
00:00:32,939 --> 00:00:34,700
Oh my God, no. I'm her sister.
10
00:00:34,728 --> 00:00:36,823
I'm gonna say something
that I don't say a lot.
11
00:00:37,386 --> 00:00:38,629
I'm confused.
12
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,906
All right, when I was...
I was trying to get B.J. off the stage,
13
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:43,910
and I guess she tripped me,
and I fell and I hit my head.
14
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,119
And the next thing I know, I'm here.
15
00:00:46,153 --> 00:00:47,431
Mm, nice try.
16
00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:48,915
I hear that's how she met Claude.
17
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,047
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep.
18
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,057
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
19
00:00:53,091 --> 00:00:54,092
Listen.
20
00:01:05,552 --> 00:01:07,347
What then?
21
00:01:11,075 --> 00:01:13,353
- What?
- Do it again.
22
00:01:23,570 --> 00:01:24,709
What is happening?!
23
00:01:27,586 --> 00:01:29,058
Aaaah!
24
00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:32,190
Oof.
25
00:01:36,859 --> 00:01:38,654
Did they hurt you?
26
00:01:38,689 --> 00:01:39,931
What?
27
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,795
Did they hurt you?
28
00:01:42,465 --> 00:01:44,591
No. Did you kill them?
29
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:48,837
No, no. Th-This is a
bean-bag gun. They're fine.
30
00:01:48,871 --> 00:01:50,770
Which is better'n me.
31
00:01:50,804 --> 00:01:54,450
I'm pretty sure I broken
all the bones in my feet.
32
00:01:54,664 --> 00:01:55,706
Oh.
33
00:01:55,707 --> 00:01:58,131
This is why I shouldn't be a hero.
34
00:01:58,132 --> 00:01:59,356
Ow.
35
00:01:59,357 --> 00:02:00,981
Can you help me, please?
36
00:02:01,016 --> 00:02:03,019
Hey, you know I'm Robin
and not B.J., right?
37
00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,434
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
38
00:02:05,468 --> 00:02:08,300
What kind of man doesn't
recognize his own wife?
39
00:02:09,112 --> 00:02:11,598
♪ Yeah, I'm a country chick ♪
40
00:02:11,992 --> 00:02:13,235
I don't know what's gotten into you,
41
00:02:13,269 --> 00:02:14,546
but I love it.
42
00:02:14,581 --> 00:02:16,963
You've got some strong bones.
Especially this one.
43
00:02:16,997 --> 00:02:18,412
What?
44
00:02:20,311 --> 00:02:21,657
♪ Give a lick ♪
45
00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:25,385
♪ I'm a down and dirty country chick ♪
46
00:02:25,419 --> 00:02:28,250
♪ Somewhere between the mountains ♪
47
00:02:28,284 --> 00:02:30,286
♪ There is a place I'm thinkin' ♪
48
00:02:37,734 --> 00:02:39,734
_
49
00:02:43,023 --> 00:02:45,267
I can't believe you convinced me
to stop in Cortland.
50
00:02:45,301 --> 00:02:46,958
It's only a half hour to Syracuse.
51
00:02:46,993 --> 00:02:48,579
Let's just go back to my mom's
and wait for Delilah.
52
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,134
The boy just texted.
He's on the lookout, okay?
53
00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:51,895
- Don't worry about that.
- Did I leave my phone in the car?
54
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:53,263
- Hey, forget it. Forget it.
- Wh... What?
55
00:02:53,264 --> 00:02:54,901
Forget about that.
I want fun Nate tonight.
56
00:02:54,902 --> 00:02:56,450
Okay, it's 11:00 in the morning.
57
00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:58,521
I know, but I want the Nate
I was promised.
58
00:02:58,589 --> 00:03:00,327
I want the Nate who is into me.
Ya heard?
59
00:03:00,328 --> 00:03:02,054
I can't hear anything with
your tongue in my ear.
60
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,389
Free sangria?
61
00:03:04,424 --> 00:03:05,755
Yeah. I'm not drinking.
62
00:03:05,756 --> 00:03:07,188
Clearly you are. Are you still drunk?
63
00:03:07,190 --> 00:03:08,256
Mm-hmm.
64
00:03:08,290 --> 00:03:10,490
Oh, hey, let's do something fun
we've never done before, like coke.
65
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,854
- You've done coke.
- Yeah, but we haven't done coke.
66
00:03:12,855 --> 00:03:14,902
What are you talking about?
We did coke the day we met.
67
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,111
Okay, well, sometimes it's fun
68
00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:18,458
to do something we've already
done, in a different context.
69
00:03:18,493 --> 00:03:20,702
Yeah, okay, but I'm too old
70
00:03:20,736 --> 00:03:22,151
to develop a cocaine habit, all right?
71
00:03:22,186 --> 00:03:24,050
I've already got
post-nasal drip without it.
72
00:03:24,277 --> 00:03:25,674
Let's go check in.
73
00:03:27,743 --> 00:03:29,262
Hey. How are you? Uh...
74
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,126
Welcome the Sweet Suites by Swift Stay.
75
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,714
Okay.
76
00:03:32,748 --> 00:03:35,130
Uh, we just made a
reservation for Parker-jer.
77
00:03:35,164 --> 00:03:36,338
Remember that? Nope.
78
00:03:36,379 --> 00:03:38,727
Okay, I have a Parker Jr. Is that it?
79
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,253
Yeah. And we're gonna need a room
80
00:03:40,255 --> 00:03:41,665
with thick walls and a sturdy bed.
81
00:03:41,666 --> 00:03:43,656
And I don't care
how clean the comforter is.
82
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,589
Because I like it dirty.
83
00:03:45,623 --> 00:03:47,024
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but all of our comforters
84
00:03:47,025 --> 00:03:48,868
are eyeballed for freshness
on a biannual basis.
85
00:03:48,902 --> 00:03:49,950
- Cool.
- Ew.
86
00:03:49,951 --> 00:03:51,499
Okay. Unfortunately, it looks like
87
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,837
your room isn't quite ready yet.
88
00:03:52,872 --> 00:03:54,598
Boo! You suck. Shh!
89
00:03:54,632 --> 00:03:57,324
But if you're looking
for a little "wayward" fun,
90
00:03:57,359 --> 00:04:00,051
just head outside, and just
across the way, there's a...
91
00:04:00,086 --> 00:04:01,639
- Back alley we can in?
- What?
92
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:02,882
I was gonna say gentleman's club.
93
00:04:02,916 --> 00:04:04,222
- Ohh!
- Exotic dancers.
94
00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:06,331
Yeah, let's do that.
We've never done that before.
95
00:04:06,365 --> 00:04:07,711
We have done that.
96
00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:08,749
That's...
97
00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:10,004
She's...
98
00:04:10,991 --> 00:04:12,440
Guaranteed check-in by noon.
99
00:04:12,682 --> 00:04:13,717
I'm a bronze member.
100
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,370
Ohh, God!
101
00:04:18,371 --> 00:04:21,514
I bet that smell is making you so wet.
102
00:04:21,515 --> 00:04:24,383
What? The smell of Pine-Sol
and broken dreams? Not really.
103
00:04:24,384 --> 00:04:26,144
Whoo! Turn it up!
104
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:28,091
The Constitution
is a living, breathing document.
105
00:04:28,091 --> 00:04:29,157
It has fluidity.
106
00:04:29,158 --> 00:04:31,015
Just like gender...
it can and should change.
107
00:04:31,015 --> 00:04:32,112
Change is a good thing.
108
00:04:32,165 --> 00:04:34,255
I was laying in bed
with my dog Partisan Hack
109
00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:36,582
and thinking, "Zie changed.
Why can't the Constitution?"
110
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:38,294
It's called document privilege.
111
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:39,883
It's a privileged white paper
112
00:04:39,884 --> 00:04:42,160
written on by privileged white men...
113
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:43,713
You guys like this podcast, too, huh?
114
00:04:43,747 --> 00:04:45,858
They used to be cater waiters
in the Obama administration,
115
00:04:45,859 --> 00:04:47,393
so they really know
what they're talking about.
116
00:04:47,394 --> 00:04:49,075
- You closed?
- Nope.
117
00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:53,532
Okay, this is sad. Let's go.
118
00:04:53,533 --> 00:04:55,225
Hey, you know what's sad?
119
00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:58,228
You got a tight broad and you
force her to come to this dump.
120
00:04:58,262 --> 00:04:59,574
Okay.
121
00:04:59,608 --> 00:05:01,438
Yeah, I just want to be
at home waiting for Delilah.
122
00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:02,853
All right, hey, man, why don't we put
123
00:05:02,888 --> 00:05:04,455
this whole "my daughter's
missing thing" on hold
124
00:05:04,489 --> 00:05:06,581
for just, like, a day and loosen up?
Just a day!
125
00:05:06,615 --> 00:05:08,963
Why don't you line us up some
whas-up whas-up shots, girl?
126
00:05:08,997 --> 00:05:10,896
- Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!
- You know it!
127
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:14,106
Mm! Mm! Mm! Mm!
128
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:15,486
Whatever.
129
00:05:15,521 --> 00:05:17,617
God, I haven't had a
drink in over a year.
130
00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:19,027
- Oh, my God.
- I just feel like... Wha...
131
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,522
I didn't say I wasn't gonna drink.
132
00:05:21,527 --> 00:05:24,495
Let's get some titties
up on that stage!
133
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:26,221
Where them girls at?
134
00:05:26,256 --> 00:05:27,636
Most of the dancers are on lunch.
135
00:05:28,191 --> 00:05:29,984
Oh. Well, I guess I
have to do it myself.
136
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:31,486
What? What are you doing?
137
00:05:31,528 --> 00:05:33,219
Oh, my God, I love her.
138
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,506
Yeah, I don't really know her.
139
00:05:35,541 --> 00:05:37,094
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
140
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:39,045
Please welcome to the stage...
141
00:05:39,046 --> 00:05:40,511
Give it up for...
142
00:05:40,546 --> 00:05:42,237
- What's your name?
- B.J.
143
00:05:42,272 --> 00:05:44,895
B.J.!
144
00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,966
Why would you call yourself
your sister's name?
145
00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:49,106
Nobody uses their real name.
You gotta use a handle.
146
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:50,383
♪ Daisy Duke short shorts ♪
147
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:51,902
Use Destiny.
148
00:05:51,937 --> 00:05:53,283
♪ Peel 'em off right ♪
149
00:05:53,317 --> 00:05:55,285
Ooh, mountain climbers. There ya go.
150
00:05:55,319 --> 00:05:56,527
Yeah, girl.
151
00:05:56,562 --> 00:05:58,391
Yeah. All right.
152
00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,945
♪ Everything about me
just feels so right ♪
153
00:05:59,979 --> 00:06:01,118
Make it rain.
154
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,224
- I've only got change.
- Do it!
155
00:06:04,604 --> 00:06:07,400
♪ You better get hard
'cause it's time to... ♪
156
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:08,574
It's more like hail.
157
00:06:11,991 --> 00:06:13,544
♪ People callin' me a ho ♪
158
00:06:13,579 --> 00:06:16,382
♪ I don't give a lick,
ridin' all them hicks ♪
159
00:06:16,791 --> 00:06:17,795
No. Pull up.
160
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,516
You're gonna rip your taint wide open.
161
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:21,725
Mn! Mn! Mn! Mn!
162
00:06:21,759 --> 00:06:22,968
Yeah! Twerk it, girl!
163
00:06:23,002 --> 00:06:24,245
Good choice.
164
00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:26,510
Here... Ohh! Jesus!
165
00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:27,558
Ohh!
166
00:06:27,593 --> 00:06:29,146
Sparks are flyin'.
167
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:31,114
Geez. I've got glass all over me.
168
00:06:31,148 --> 00:06:32,667
Jealous? Of what?
169
00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:34,117
These bitches.
170
00:06:34,151 --> 00:06:36,464
Don't call them that.
That's so reductive.
171
00:06:36,498 --> 00:06:37,983
- They like it.
- No, they don't.
172
00:06:38,017 --> 00:06:39,363
We do.
173
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,032
♪ I'm crazy with the guns
and a bloody dead stag ♪
174
00:06:42,539 --> 00:06:43,643
Careful. What are you...
175
00:06:45,576 --> 00:06:47,371
Eugh. You all right?
176
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:50,650
♪ That burnin' feeling means
you caught my clap ♪
177
00:06:50,908 --> 00:06:51,931
Ohh.
178
00:06:51,946 --> 00:06:54,466
Babe, just sit down and take it off.
179
00:06:54,627 --> 00:06:56,007
Oh! Jesus Christ!
180
00:06:56,042 --> 00:06:57,595
Yeah. God.
181
00:06:57,630 --> 00:06:59,695
- Put your shoe back on.
- Nah! I'm taking clothes off,
182
00:06:59,696 --> 00:07:02,807
not putting them on. That's how
strippin' works, ya dumbshit.
183
00:07:02,842 --> 00:07:03,877
Whoo!
184
00:07:03,912 --> 00:07:05,154
Baby, seriously.
185
00:07:05,189 --> 00:07:06,811
Oh!
186
00:07:06,846 --> 00:07:08,468
Holy shit! You okay?
187
00:07:08,503 --> 00:07:09,504
Was it sexy?
188
00:07:09,538 --> 00:07:11,805
- Up until the fall, yeah, sure.
- Ah, good.
189
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,694
I think we might need
to get you to a hospital.
190
00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:16,648
Whoo!
191
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,574
B.J.'s not answering.
192
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,781
Uh, what's, uh... What's Nate's number?
193
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,507
I don't know.
194
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:40,646
How do you not know that?
195
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,628
Because when I want to call Nate,
196
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,395
I press the button on the phone
that says "Call Nate."
197
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,579
And B.J. stole my phone.
198
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,374
Well, you're better off
without a cellphone, anyway.
199
00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:48,575
Now you're not being tracked
by the Silicon Nerd Cabal.
200
00:07:48,576 --> 00:07:50,274
- Or NSA.
- Or the CIA.
201
00:07:50,275 --> 00:07:51,802
- Or Air Force.
- Space Force.
202
00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:53,370
- Or you know who.
- Who?
203
00:07:53,522 --> 00:07:54,676
- Obama.
- Obama.
204
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:55,988
Oh.Salam Malakum, Barack.
205
00:07:56,022 --> 00:07:57,445
Hope you're enjoyin'
what you're seein'.
206
00:07:57,471 --> 00:07:58,484
Hold up.
207
00:07:58,485 --> 00:07:59,701
You mean to tell me
208
00:07:59,702 --> 00:08:01,485
your husband's not worth
the brain space
209
00:08:01,486 --> 00:08:03,118
to remember nine digits?
210
00:08:03,277 --> 00:08:05,313
I mean, no wonder he
left you for my wife.
211
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,515
All right, all right.
212
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:08,241
What's his middle name?
213
00:08:08,276 --> 00:08:10,271
Oh, um, I want to say it's Paul.
214
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:13,461
But... I... It could
very easily be William.
215
00:08:13,462 --> 00:08:14,897
Give me his birth date.
216
00:08:15,493 --> 00:08:18,314
'70... It's '70...
217
00:08:18,349 --> 00:08:21,732
- How old is he?
- 40... I don't know.
218
00:08:21,766 --> 00:08:22,905
What do you know about him?
219
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:26,909
- Credit-card number?
- 375489432100.
220
00:08:26,944 --> 00:08:29,613
Expiration 7/22. Security 673.
221
00:08:32,651 --> 00:08:34,307
What? Guys, somebody
has to buy the groceries.
222
00:08:34,503 --> 00:08:37,471
Found him. Nathan P. Parker Junior.
223
00:08:37,506 --> 00:08:38,857
Yes! I knew it was Paul!
224
00:08:38,858 --> 00:08:42,476
Uh, looks like he made
a reservation at, uh,
225
00:08:42,511 --> 00:08:44,340
Sweet Suites by Swift Stay.
226
00:08:44,375 --> 00:08:46,342
Okay, stop. Stop.
227
00:08:46,377 --> 00:08:48,379
I am so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Parker Jr.,
228
00:08:48,413 --> 00:08:49,656
but the room still isn't ready yet.
229
00:08:49,691 --> 00:08:53,039
Okay, I've had enough of this.
I'm not paying for my valet.
230
00:08:53,073 --> 00:08:54,540
I'm taking some shampoo
and some conditioner,
231
00:08:54,574 --> 00:08:56,774
- and we're going back to my mom's.
- Let's go. But I can offer you
232
00:08:56,801 --> 00:08:58,182
a complimentary spa voucher,
233
00:08:58,216 --> 00:09:00,115
featuring our signature
Catskill mud bath.
234
00:09:00,149 --> 00:09:01,718
Ooh, yeah. Let's get dirty.
235
00:09:02,151 --> 00:09:03,718
- Haven't you had enough?
- Give me another one.
236
00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:04,775
Um, it's really just one per...
237
00:09:04,809 --> 00:09:05,993
Let's go.
238
00:09:07,087 --> 00:09:09,400
There's nothing famous
about Catskill mud.
239
00:09:10,015 --> 00:09:11,828
Actually, there is.
240
00:09:13,266 --> 00:09:14,923
You should've taken the mouth wash.
241
00:09:17,235 --> 00:09:19,341
If you two aren't feeling romantic now,
242
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:21,205
you will after this.
243
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:24,208
Now, if you'd like to disrobe
behind our modesty curtain.
244
00:09:24,242 --> 00:09:27,349
Yeah, no, who needs that.
Let's let it fly!
245
00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:28,799
Let's go. Let's get this goin'.
246
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:30,455
- Let's get this off.
- Stop! Stop! Stop!
247
00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:32,250
What, are you gay? My shit is tight.
248
00:09:32,285 --> 00:09:33,320
What's wrong with you?
249
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,529
I just don't want anyone to see.
250
00:09:35,564 --> 00:09:37,842
Who's gonna see? The place is empty.
251
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:41,777
Oh, it's like I'm not even here.
252
00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:45,056
- Yeah.
- But you are. So...
253
00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:48,840
Babe, what are you...?
254
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,994
Wow, that is tight. Look at that.
255
00:09:52,029 --> 00:09:53,391
Yeah, look at that.
256
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,838
You're still here.
And... undressing yourself.
257
00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:58,932
Oh.
258
00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:01,279
Oh, maybe I read the signals wrong.
259
00:10:01,314 --> 00:10:03,419
I thought the three of us...
260
00:10:06,975 --> 00:10:08,493
No. Thank you.
261
00:10:08,528 --> 00:10:10,426
- Ok... Okay.
- Yeah.
262
00:10:10,461 --> 00:10:12,325
No problem.
263
00:10:12,359 --> 00:10:13,913
I can take a hint.
264
00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:16,028
I don't think you can.
265
00:10:18,089 --> 00:10:20,231
This is nice.
266
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:24,476
Oh, my God. Mm.
267
00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:27,236
Oh, that's nice. That's almost as nice
268
00:10:27,271 --> 00:10:29,406
as that western Japanese town bath.
269
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,206
Japan was great.
270
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,415
What... are you talking about?
271
00:10:33,449 --> 00:10:35,533
Japan was awful.
I'm talking about Alaska.
272
00:10:36,246 --> 00:10:37,805
How can you not remember that?
273
00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:39,628
It was only two summers ago.
274
00:10:40,321 --> 00:10:42,148
I think it was probably
the last time we had sex.
275
00:10:42,182 --> 00:10:44,081
The last time you had sex
was two summers ago?
276
00:10:44,115 --> 00:10:45,634
Last time we had sex. Last time we...
277
00:10:45,668 --> 00:10:48,016
Of course, I haven't even
seen you naked since Tibet.
278
00:10:48,050 --> 00:10:49,155
We were in that tent with Jared.
279
00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:51,088
Oh, God, that was so sexy.
280
00:10:51,122 --> 00:10:52,122
What?
281
00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:55,091
- Did your boobs get bigger?
- Maybe they're just excited.
282
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:57,059
Is that how boobs work?
283
00:10:57,094 --> 00:10:58,164
That's how my boobs works.
284
00:10:58,198 --> 00:10:59,932
Maybe it's just 'cause
I haven't seen you in so long,
285
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,490
but you seem like a different person.
286
00:11:01,557 --> 00:11:03,652
Yeah, it's the new-and-improved Robin.
287
00:11:04,005 --> 00:11:06,549
Old Robin was such a bore, right?
288
00:11:07,021 --> 00:11:08,048
I wouldn't say that.
289
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,368
Mm, you don't have to. I did.
290
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,211
What else did we hate about old Robin?
291
00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:12,937
Nothing, really. I mean...
292
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:16,078
Oh, come on.
Old Robin was bossy as shit.
293
00:11:16,113 --> 00:11:18,184
- Not really.
- Yes, she was! Say it!
294
00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:21,083
- Old Robin was bossy as shit!
- I guess sometimes, she...
295
00:11:21,118 --> 00:11:23,637
She got this awful
"May I speak to the manager?" haircut.
296
00:11:23,672 --> 00:11:25,291
- It's not that bad.
- I'm growing it out.
297
00:11:25,292 --> 00:11:26,677
- Thank God.
- See?
298
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,954
It feels so good to shit on old Robin.
299
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,176
It makes me horny.
300
00:11:30,177 --> 00:11:32,439
Look at this guy.
Ooh, it's so big and thick.
301
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,238
Why don't you stick
that in me right now.
302
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,390
- That's my ankle.
- Then what's that?
303
00:11:36,392 --> 00:11:38,273
- My calf.
- Why don't you stick this in me.
304
00:11:38,307 --> 00:11:39,619
Not yet, you two.
305
00:11:39,653 --> 00:11:40,877
Ah. You're still here.
306
00:11:40,878 --> 00:11:41,932
The whole time.
307
00:11:41,972 --> 00:11:43,608
And I have to be honest.
308
00:11:43,609 --> 00:11:47,109
I can see that the two of you
are completely out of sync.
309
00:11:47,144 --> 00:11:50,250
You don't seem to know
anything about one another.
310
00:11:50,285 --> 00:11:51,965
Okay, we do. All right?
311
00:11:51,966 --> 00:11:53,081
It's just been a stressful year.
312
00:11:53,115 --> 00:11:54,945
Yeah, with his job and all.
313
00:11:54,979 --> 00:11:56,498
What? I haven't had a job
in three years.
314
00:11:56,532 --> 00:11:58,604
Okay, you know what?
You need your bars run.
315
00:11:58,605 --> 00:12:00,640
It'll completely change
your whole energy field.
316
00:12:00,674 --> 00:12:02,714
- Okay, out you get.
- No, we're fine.
317
00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:04,833
"Fine" is not the F-word
I want to hear.
318
00:12:07,755 --> 00:12:08,791
Okay, out, out, out.
319
00:12:08,825 --> 00:12:10,073
I'm getting up and out.
320
00:12:10,075 --> 00:12:12,077
- There we go.
- You kinda killed the mood.
321
00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:13,209
Yeah!
322
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:15,038
Okay, you're going to witness in me
323
00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:17,053
a complete lack of embarrassment,
324
00:12:17,054 --> 00:12:18,621
a lack of shame,
325
00:12:18,622 --> 00:12:21,667
an ownership of my experience.
326
00:12:21,668 --> 00:12:25,415
And it binds two people
like nothing else.
327
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:26,589
Here it comes.
328
00:12:26,624 --> 00:12:28,177
Here what comes? Where is it?
329
00:12:28,212 --> 00:12:29,868
- Oh... What are you doing?!
- Ahh!
330
00:12:29,903 --> 00:12:32,595
- It's called reverse totem pole.
- What?
331
00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:33,941
Now, I do have crippling vertigo,
332
00:12:33,976 --> 00:12:35,598
so I can't stay up here for too long.
333
00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:37,186
Then why would you do this at all?
334
00:12:37,221 --> 00:12:38,877
Place your tongue across my perineum.
335
00:12:38,912 --> 00:12:41,811
It's the sexual DMZ of erogenous zones.
336
00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:42,881
That sounds amazing.
337
00:12:42,916 --> 00:12:44,676
Now, once you've engorged the area,
338
00:12:44,711 --> 00:12:47,748
let your tongue wander
over to heaven's doorbell.
339
00:12:47,783 --> 00:12:51,545
But God's not expecting
company, so you gotta ring.
340
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:54,410
Now, I like a predictable rhythm.
341
00:12:54,445 --> 00:12:56,757
- Have you ever been in a drum circle?
- No. Get down.
342
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:58,631
I like the African djembe beat.
343
00:12:58,765 --> 00:12:59,768
In threes.
344
00:12:59,835 --> 00:13:01,728
Gak-Ga-Ga, gak-Ga-Ga, gak-Ga-Ga.
345
00:13:01,762 --> 00:13:03,592
Gak-Ga-Ga-Ga-get down.
Get down. Get down.
346
00:13:03,626 --> 00:13:05,173
- God!
- Oh!
347
00:13:05,273 --> 00:13:06,733
Okay, Robin. Your turn.
348
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:08,666
- Okay.
- No. Babe, it's too slippery.
349
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,461
Just stay there. I'm gonna get a towel.
350
00:13:10,495 --> 00:13:12,231
- Just spread 'em for stability.
- What?
351
00:13:12,339 --> 00:13:13,746
Then I can better get at your taint.
352
00:13:13,774 --> 00:13:16,260
- Okay, here we go again.
- No, no, no...
353
00:13:18,054 --> 00:13:22,024
Ah-ha-aaaaaaaah!
354
00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:23,612
I knew you were flexible.
355
00:13:23,646 --> 00:13:25,476
I tore my taint!
356
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:26,925
Ow!
357
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,480
I ripped it wide open!
358
00:13:29,514 --> 00:13:30,515
Ow!
359
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,661
Hey.
360
00:13:39,162 --> 00:13:40,241
Good afternoon,
361
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,910
and welcome to the Sweet Suites
by Swiff Sway...
362
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,874
Swift Stay. I apologize for that.
363
00:13:44,909 --> 00:13:46,576
That's the first time
I've ever mispronounced that.
364
00:13:46,577 --> 00:13:47,874
Nate Parker. What room is he in?
365
00:13:47,946 --> 00:13:48,946
I'm sorry, I'm not at liberty
366
00:13:48,947 --> 00:13:50,363
to give out guest information.
367
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,330
If you'd like to use the courtesy phone
368
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,469
right over there,
369
00:13:53,504 --> 00:13:55,022
an operator may be happy to assist you.
370
00:13:59,855 --> 00:14:01,615
Oh, God.
371
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:02,892
Sorry about that.
372
00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,031
Didn't mean to do that.
373
00:14:14,663 --> 00:14:15,767
You gonna answer that?
374
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,395
Good afternoon. Guest services.
How may I direct your call?
375
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,638
Yes, what room is
Nate Parker in, please?
376
00:14:24,785 --> 00:14:26,856
- One moment, please.
- Give me Nate Parker!
377
00:14:26,904 --> 00:14:28,815
Excuse me, ma'am. I'm on the phone.
378
00:14:30,541 --> 00:14:32,508
I apologize for that outburst, ma'am.
379
00:14:32,543 --> 00:14:34,096
So, it looks like
he hasn't checked in yet.
380
00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:35,753
May I be of service with anything else?
381
00:14:37,099 --> 00:14:38,411
Oh, my God.
382
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,033
Why didn't you call a hospital truck
383
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:42,145
when you were showering and changing?
384
00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:44,762
Oh, holy shit,
385
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:48,028
my anus is leaking out of my ass hole.
386
00:14:54,668 --> 00:14:56,774
You suck.
387
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,915
You bitch.
388
00:14:59,949 --> 00:15:02,504
- No, no, no!
- Where you going?
389
00:15:02,538 --> 00:15:03,972
Parking garage.
Valet's gonna take too long.
390
00:15:03,973 --> 00:15:05,645
- What?!
- Hey, get back in your truck
391
00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:07,060
and cut 'em off at the parking garage.
392
00:15:07,094 --> 00:15:08,171
Go. Go!
393
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,615
They usually give out
free cookies here.
394
00:15:14,792 --> 00:15:16,423
Where all the cookies at?
395
00:15:17,864 --> 00:15:21,054
Hey, can I get some free cookies?
396
00:15:21,078 --> 00:15:22,734
- Oh!
- Oh!
397
00:15:24,486 --> 00:15:25,837
Oh, my God, I knew you guys...
398
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,083
Oh, shit!
399
00:15:30,285 --> 00:15:31,942
We should put her on the cart, too.
400
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:37,311
All right, now that I'm full,
401
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,422
time to go save B.J.
402
00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:42,255
Oh... Agh.
403
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,558
Well, who put that there?
404
00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:48,410
Shit. Where did we park?
405
00:15:48,445 --> 00:15:50,550
I told you. We valeted.
406
00:15:50,585 --> 00:15:52,157
God, just get us to a hospital.
407
00:15:54,509 --> 00:15:55,590
- What?
- I'm just gonna...
408
00:15:55,624 --> 00:15:56,828
- What do you want?
- Give me this.
409
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:58,735
Oh, yeah, yeah, I want
to have sex right now.
410
00:15:58,869 --> 00:16:00,940
Oh, I knew you wanted to have sex.
411
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,222
Get him! Get him!
412
00:16:07,256 --> 00:16:08,948
Get him!
413
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,471
Babe? Babe, what are you doin'?
414
00:16:14,505 --> 00:16:15,679
Hey, what you...
415
00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:22,099
Oh, shit! Ahh! Jesus!
416
00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:27,898
I can't believe
we're gonna survive this.
417
00:16:30,279 --> 00:16:31,522
Oh, shit. Go!
418
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:32,661
Out of the way!
419
00:16:32,696 --> 00:16:33,938
Out of the way! Out of the way!
420
00:16:35,699 --> 00:16:37,217
Shit.
421
00:16:37,252 --> 00:16:39,081
- Eugh.
- Agh!
422
00:16:39,116 --> 00:16:40,117
God.
423
00:16:40,151 --> 00:16:42,084
- Ah, you okay?
- Yeah.
424
00:16:42,119 --> 00:16:44,535
Oh, this is just like
that movie "Crash."
425
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,386
We should totally do it right now.
426
00:16:46,387 --> 00:16:48,372
What? No. Get off of me.
427
00:16:50,547 --> 00:16:51,962
Aah!
428
00:16:51,997 --> 00:16:53,032
Shit.
429
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:54,447
What is happening?!
430
00:16:58,483 --> 00:17:00,712
- Why are you here?
- Babe, are you okay?
431
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:01,941
"Babe"?
432
00:17:01,947 --> 00:17:03,770
Excuse me, you crazy bitch.
433
00:17:03,776 --> 00:17:05,359
Excuse me, you crazy bitch.
434
00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:07,659
- Ha-ha!
- Whoa! Whoa!
435
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:08,684
What are you doing?!
436
00:17:08,685 --> 00:17:10,413
Gettin' our reward for that B.J.
437
00:17:10,414 --> 00:17:13,094
Moron, B.J.'s standing
right beside you, okay?
438
00:17:13,095 --> 00:17:14,614
This is Robin. Put the gun down.
439
00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:17,473
Nate, look at me. I am your wife.
440
00:17:17,474 --> 00:17:19,791
If she were me, she would know
that we're not married.
441
00:17:19,792 --> 00:17:22,768
And she would have also known
her life partner's phone number.
442
00:17:22,769 --> 00:17:24,831
- And birthday.
- And his middle name.
443
00:17:24,832 --> 00:17:26,479
It's Paul. I told you that.
444
00:17:26,514 --> 00:17:27,803
- It's Patrick.
- I knew that.
445
00:17:27,804 --> 00:17:28,838
Shut up! You did not!
446
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:29,928
Let me see identification.
447
00:17:29,929 --> 00:17:32,032
I don't have anything! She took it all!
448
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:33,300
She cut her hair. She took my clothes.
449
00:17:33,301 --> 00:17:34,434
She took everything.
450
00:17:34,452 --> 00:17:36,906
Holy shit, your sister is nuts.
451
00:17:36,907 --> 00:17:37,950
Let's just get out of here.
452
00:17:37,951 --> 00:17:40,081
Nate, look at me.
453
00:17:40,087 --> 00:17:41,362
Ask me anything.
454
00:17:41,391 --> 00:17:43,910
We've been together for a lifetime.
Ask me anything only I would know.
455
00:17:43,911 --> 00:17:45,749
- When's your birthday?
- We're twins.
456
00:17:46,672 --> 00:17:48,734
I... What's your dad's name?
457
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,111
We have the same dad!
What's with the idiot questions?
458
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,235
I'm sorry, my taint is broken, okay?
459
00:17:53,236 --> 00:17:55,332
This lady has third-degree soup burns.
460
00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:57,069
These guys are practically dead.
461
00:17:57,391 --> 00:17:59,122
Sorry I'm not thinking too straight.
462
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,297
Nate, look at me.
463
00:18:01,802 --> 00:18:03,120
I love you so much.
464
00:18:03,637 --> 00:18:04,989
It's me. Robin.
465
00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:06,326
Nate.
466
00:18:11,693 --> 00:18:14,133
♪ Don't let us die ♪
467
00:18:14,662 --> 00:18:19,398
♪ Or live a lie forever ♪
468
00:18:20,714 --> 00:18:22,470
♪ Forever ♪
469
00:18:23,155 --> 00:18:26,538
♪ And you can try ♪
470
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:31,080
♪ But you'll never find
a love that's better ♪
471
00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:34,980
♪ A love that's better ♪
472
00:18:35,376 --> 00:18:36,386
Shit.
473
00:18:36,924 --> 00:18:38,376
I didn't sleep with her.
474
00:18:39,862 --> 00:18:41,727
I...
475
00:18:41,761 --> 00:18:43,026
- Ohh!
- Ooh.
476
00:18:43,027 --> 00:18:44,493
Jesus Christ.
477
00:18:44,787 --> 00:18:47,031
What kind of man doesn't
recognize his own wife?
478
00:18:47,079 --> 00:18:48,718
You should be ashamed of yourself.
479
00:18:48,768 --> 00:18:51,832
Yeah, and just for the record,
this man has better judgment than you.
480
00:18:52,426 --> 00:18:53,738
Did you just kill her?
481
00:18:53,846 --> 00:18:55,261
No, she's fine.
He just bean-bagged her.
482
00:18:55,263 --> 00:18:57,288
Yeah. Trust me.
She's done way worse to me.
483
00:18:57,872 --> 00:19:00,185
Hey, did she cut my hair?
484
00:19:00,319 --> 00:19:02,425
Eugh! Shit! Ooh!
485
00:19:02,453 --> 00:19:03,516
Holy shit.
486
00:19:03,611 --> 00:19:05,988
That's your brain. Put the flap down.
487
00:19:06,053 --> 00:19:07,607
No, d... Agh!
488
00:19:08,236 --> 00:19:09,303
What? It's brain.
489
00:19:09,304 --> 00:19:11,750
Oh, nah. I just need my shaping helmet.
490
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:14,147
We have all got to get to a hospital!
491
00:19:14,148 --> 00:19:16,485
I could walk it off. If I could walk.
492
00:19:16,654 --> 00:19:17,654
What?
493
00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:19,523
- What did he say?
- What?
494
00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:24,163
Uh-huh.
495
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,545
No, oh, sure, that all sounds
really believable.
496
00:19:26,546 --> 00:19:28,386
A twin sister no one's
ever heard of before
497
00:19:28,387 --> 00:19:30,204
kidnapped you and broke your taint?
498
00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:32,855
Look, just 'cause some crazy stuff
has happened to our family in the past
499
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,319
doesn't mean you have to lie to me
to avoid spending time with me.
500
00:19:35,325 --> 00:19:38,676
You could say you and Mom wanted
some time alone to bang or something.
501
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,490
That might believe.
502
00:19:40,525 --> 00:19:41,664
I'm out.
503
00:19:41,677 --> 00:19:43,343
This family's stories
are just getting implausible.
504
00:19:43,344 --> 00:19:45,679
I mean, what kind of hijinks are
they gonna get us into next?
505
00:19:45,694 --> 00:19:47,955
God, I'm gonna have to shower to
rinse all the stupid off of me.
506
00:19:53,745 --> 00:19:56,334
So stupid.
507
00:20:07,862 --> 00:20:09,001
What are you doing here?!
508
00:20:09,036 --> 00:20:10,419
This is where I shower!
509
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:11,769
- For how long?!
- A year!
510
00:20:11,770 --> 00:20:13,211
Did you not see the steam?!
511
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,748
I thought it was Nana's smoke!
512
00:20:14,749 --> 00:20:15,767
What the hell?!
513
00:20:15,768 --> 00:20:17,524
- Wh-What do we do now?
- Get out!
514
00:20:17,525 --> 00:20:19,283
Oh, okay. Uh, good idea.
515
00:20:19,591 --> 00:20:21,387
Uh, despite all this,
it was still good seeing you.
516
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:22,769
- Get out!
- Okay! I'm sorry!
517
00:20:25,176 --> 00:20:27,831
Synced and corrected by hawken45 for
www.addic7ed.com
36590
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