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1
00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:03,901
STUART, YOU'RE PACKING UP?
2
00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:06,501
WELL, IT WAS A PLEASURE
WORKING WITH YOU.
3
00:00:06,534 --> 00:00:08,234
YOU ARE A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL.
4
00:00:08,267 --> 00:00:10,300
I DIDN'T GET FIRED.
5
00:00:10,334 --> 00:00:13,234
CARTER, IT WAS A PLEASURE
WORKING WITH YOU.
6
00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:15,434
YOU'RE A UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL.
7
00:00:15,467 --> 00:00:17,601
WE EMPTIED OUT
OUR STORAGE UNIT.
8
00:00:17,634 --> 00:00:20,968
OH, COOL --
MY OLD DUCK PHONE!
9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,567
I REMEMBER THOSE.
10
00:00:22,601 --> 00:00:24,000
THEY DON'T RING, THEY QUACK.
11
00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:26,234
ACTUALLY, THIS ONE'S
A FACTORY REJECT.
12
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:27,501
IT BARKS.
13
00:00:27,534 --> 00:00:28,901
WOW!
14
00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:30,467
LISTEN TO THIS --
15
00:00:30,501 --> 00:00:33,133
"FROM THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON YOU,
16
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,601
"I SAW MY FUTURE
IN YOUR FACE.
17
00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:37,767
"I SAW THE PERSON
I HOPED TO BECOME
18
00:00:37,801 --> 00:00:40,300
"AND WHAT WE CAN BECOME
TOGETHER.
19
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:42,000
LOVE ALWAYS...STUART."
20
00:00:42,033 --> 00:00:43,701
YOU WROTE THAT DRIVEL?
21
00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:47,901
CHARLIE, THIS IS SWEET.
WOMEN LOVE THIS STUFF.
22
00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:49,400
Make me a copy.
23
00:00:50,901 --> 00:00:53,234
WHO IS "MY DARLING ANNE"?
24
00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:54,534
NO ONE.
25
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:57,267
IT WAS JUST A WRITING ASSIGNMENT
FOR A CLASS.
26
00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:01,234
WAS PART OF THE ASSIGNMENT
TO MARINATE IT IN OLD SPICE?
27
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:02,667
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
28
00:01:02,701 --> 00:01:05,701
I'M GETTING A WHIFF
OVER HERE.
29
00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:08,000
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS MIND
YOUR OWN BUSINESS?
30
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:50,067
HOW CAN MY APPROVAL RATINGS
BE DOWN?
31
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,901
WE THINK IT'S BECAUSE
YOU HAVEN'T COME THROUGH
32
00:01:52,934 --> 00:01:55,567
ON ALL
YOUR CAMPAIGN PROMISES.
33
00:01:55,601 --> 00:01:58,968
TODAY EVERY NEW YORKER ENJOYS
LOWER CRIME AND CLEANER STREETS.
34
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,767
TRUE, BUT THEY STILL DON'T HAVE
35
00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:02,801
THEIR NEW YORK CITY
TEAM JACKETS.
36
00:02:02,834 --> 00:02:06,968
I HAD NO IDEA
THAT WOULD COST $70 MILLION.
37
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,234
IF YOUR RATINGS DROP LOWER,
WE COULD LOSE SUPPORT
38
00:02:09,267 --> 00:02:11,501
TO RENOVATE
THE CENTRAL PARK ZOO.
39
00:02:11,534 --> 00:02:13,300
THAT ZOO MEANS A LOT TO ME.
40
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,834
IT'S WHERE
MY DAD TOOK ME AS A KID.
41
00:02:15,868 --> 00:02:18,634
IT'S WHERE I DISCOVERED
MY LOVE FOR PANDAS.
42
00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:23,534
IT'S WHERE
I LOST MY VIRGINITY.
43
00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:26,968
I HOPE THOSE LAST TWO
AREN'T RELATED.
44
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,267
DON'T WORRY, SIR.
45
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:31,367
TO BOOST
YOUR APPROVAL RATING,
46
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,567
I'VE HIRED YOU
AN IMAGE CONSULTANT.
47
00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:35,801
YOU DID WHAT?!
I WASN'T NOTIFIED.
48
00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:37,868
WHY DO I NEED TO NOTIFY YOU
ABOUT EVERY DECISION?
49
00:02:37,901 --> 00:02:40,367
TO MAKE SURE
THINGS GET DONE RIGHT.
50
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,434
I'M AS QUALIFIED
TO MAKE DECISIONS AS YOU.
51
00:02:42,467 --> 00:02:43,968
I AM COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR!
52
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,200
I'M THE DEPUTY MAYOR.
53
00:02:45,234 --> 00:02:46,934
AND I'M THE MAYOR.
54
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:52,601
I THOUGHT WE WERE ANNOUNCING
OUR JOB TITLES.
55
00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:55,868
HELLO.
I'M JULIA RHODES.
56
00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:58,300
CHARLIE CRAWFORD.
57
00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:00,601
I HOPE YOU CAN LIGHT UP
THE MAYOR'S IMAGE
58
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:02,434
THE WAY YOU LIGHT UP A ROOM.
59
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:05,634
I'M SORRY -- DID I WALK INTO
HAPPY HOUR AT BENNIGAN'S?
60
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:07,100
I'M MAYOR WINSTON.
61
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:08,367
NICE TO MEET YOU.
62
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,634
IT'S AN HONOR, SIR.
63
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,634
WORK ON HANDSHAKE.
64
00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:15,334
WELL, I DIDN'T SQUEEZE HARD
BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN.
65
00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:17,701
CAN BE CONDESCENDING.
66
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,834
SIR, JULIA SET UP
A FOCUS GROUP
67
00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:22,734
TO TRY TO ISOLATE
THE PROBLEM WITH YOUR IMAGE.
68
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,601
A FOCUS GROUP?
OH, I HAVE TO WARN YOU,
69
00:03:24,634 --> 00:03:26,334
I DON'T TAKE CRITICISM WELL.
70
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:28,300
DOESN'T TAKE CRITICISM WELL.
71
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:31,000
OH, COME ON!
I JUST GAVE YOU THAT ONE!
72
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,334
SORRY. I GET A LITTLE
CARRIED AWAY SOMETIMES.
73
00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:37,968
I'M JUST REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT WORKING WITH YOU.
74
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,701
SIR, WE HAVE THAT 11:00.
JULIA, I'LL SEE YOU AT LUNCH.
75
00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:43,734
WELL, THANK YOU.
76
00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:44,968
BETTER.
77
00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:51,534
HOW'S THIS THING WORK,
EXACTLY?
78
00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:53,033
TEST, TEST.
79
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,267
CHARLIE CRAWFORD --
80
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:58,200
555-0153.
81
00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:00,567
CHARLIE,
I HAVE A STRICT RULE
82
00:04:00,601 --> 00:04:03,234
ABOUT DATING
PEOPLE I WORK WITH --
83
00:04:03,267 --> 00:04:04,767
I HAVE TO LIKE THEM.
84
00:04:04,801 --> 00:04:07,300
SO I'D APPRECIATE IT
85
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,501
IF YOU'D PICTURE ME
MORE AS A CO-WORKER
86
00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,701
THAN AS A WOMAN
YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO.
87
00:04:14,901 --> 00:04:17,801
IT'S NOT WORKING.
88
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,968
CAITLIN...
89
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,767
GUESS WHO'S PLAYING CUPID.
90
00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:25,234
OH, NO.
91
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:27,501
YOU ALWAYS SET ME UP WITH
GUYS WHO YOU WANT TO DATE.
92
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,534
LIKE WHO?
93
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,067
THAT FILIPINO BODYBUILDER
94
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,634
WHO DESIGNED DOG CLOTHES.
95
00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:36,601
I SHOULD CALL HIM.
96
00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:38,968
NO, NO -- I'M TALKING
ABOUT STUART AND ANNE --
97
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,167
THE GIRL FROM HIS LETTER.
I LOOKED HER UP.
98
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,901
SHE STILL LIVES IN NEW YORK.
SHE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
99
00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:46,033
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS ONE, CUPID.
100
00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:48,634
I KNOW MY HOOKUPS
HAVEN'T WORKED IN THE PAST,
101
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:51,234
but I've got a hunch
about this one.
102
00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:56,400
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
103
00:04:56,434 --> 00:04:59,300
SURPRISE!
104
00:04:59,334 --> 00:05:00,667
HELLO, STUART.
105
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,934
YOUR FRIEND CARTER CALLED
AND INVITED ME.
106
00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:05,367
CARTER, CAITLIN,
THIS IS ANNE...
107
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,033
HI, ANNE --
108
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:09,534
...MY EX-WIFE.
109
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:12,667
SURPRISE!
110
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:16,467
CARTER, COULD I SPEAK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE?
111
00:05:21,634 --> 00:05:23,367
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
112
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,834
YOU WERE MARRIED?!
113
00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:26,634
HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?
114
00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:29,234
OH, YES, LET'S MAKE THIS
ABOUT YOU.
115
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,801
FEEL FREE TO USE
MY OFFICE, GUYS.
116
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,434
ANNE IS THE LAST PERSON
ON EARTH I WANT TO SEE.
117
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:37,767
THAT WOMAN MADE ME GAIN
OVER 100 POUNDS!
118
00:05:37,801 --> 00:05:39,234
WHY?
119
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,901
NOTHING I DID WAS EVER
GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER.
120
00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:43,901
THE WORSE I FELT,
THE MORE I ATE.
121
00:05:43,934 --> 00:05:47,334
DON'T EVEN HAVE TO KNOCK --
JUST COME ON IN.
122
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,434
WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
MAYBE SHE'S CHANGED.
123
00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:51,601
OH, PLEASE.
124
00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:52,868
AT LEAST TALK TO HER.
125
00:05:52,901 --> 00:05:54,667
IT'LL BE THERAPEUTIC.
126
00:05:54,701 --> 00:05:56,434
OKAY, I'LL TALK TO HER.
127
00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:57,901
THERE YOU GO.
128
00:05:57,934 --> 00:06:01,734
MI OFFICE, SU OFFICE.
129
00:06:03,901 --> 00:06:05,934
OKAY, WE'RE READY.
REMEMBER, SIR --
130
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:09,033
YOU CAN SEE THE FOCUS GROUP,
BUT THE GROUP CANNOT SEE YOU.
131
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:11,367
THIS WHOLE THING
IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
132
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,033
CHARLIE, I CAN HEAR YOU.
133
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:14,501
I KNOW.
134
00:06:16,934 --> 00:06:19,267
WHAT'S PAUL DOING IN THERE?
135
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:22,234
WELL, SOMETIMES FOCUS GROUPS
CAN DEVELOP A MOB MENTALITY.
136
00:06:22,267 --> 00:06:24,701
PAUL'S IN THERE
TO KEEP THEM ON AN EVEN KEEL.
137
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:28,133
HE LOOKS LIKE THE CAPTAIN
WITHOUT TENNILLE.
138
00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,667
HERE'S A PICTURE
OF THE MAYOR.
139
00:06:31,701 --> 00:06:33,534
TELL ME THE FIRST THING
THAT COMES TO MIND.
140
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,033
HE LOOKS DISTINGUISHED.
141
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:36,501
LIKE HE'S IN CHARGE --
142
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:38,767
HE KNOWS
WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
143
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:40,901
SO FAR, SO GOOD.
144
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,701
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
145
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:46,334
IT LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GAINED SOME WEIGHT.
146
00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:48,934
YOU KNOW,
NOW THAT YOU MENTIONED IT,
147
00:06:48,968 --> 00:06:50,434
HE LOOKS KIND OF FAT.
148
00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:53,200
LIKE A FAT CAT.
149
00:06:53,234 --> 00:06:56,601
I BET HE'S NEVER DONE
A HARD DAY'S WORK IN HIS LIFE.
150
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:03,300
WHAT IS YOUR IMPRESSION
OF THE MAYOR HERE?
151
00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:06,300
HEY,
THAT'S CHARLIE CRAWFORD!
152
00:07:06,334 --> 00:07:08,300
DIDN'T HE DATE
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER?
153
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:10,734
NO, HE WAS WITH THAT
FEMALE VOLLEYBALL PLAYER.
154
00:07:10,767 --> 00:07:11,801
Woman: OH.
155
00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:13,567
BEACH VOLLEYBALL PLAYER.
156
00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:18,968
HOW ABOUT THAT GOOD-LOOKING GUY
ON THE MAYOR'S LEFT?
157
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,968
I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE HIM.
158
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,667
HE'S THE PRESS SECRETARY.
159
00:07:22,701 --> 00:07:24,234
DOESN'T RING A BELL.
160
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:27,267
NO, BUT THE BIG, FAT MAYOR
RINGS A BELL.
161
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,367
WOULD MY APPROVAL RATINGS
GO DOWN
162
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,634
IF I STRANGLED PAUL?
163
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,334
THEY MIGHT GO UP.
164
00:07:35,734 --> 00:07:37,801
I WAS SURPRISED
WHEN CARTER CALLED ME,
165
00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:39,400
BUT I HAVE TO SAY,
166
00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:42,167
I WAS VERY MOVED
BY THE LETTER YOUR WROTE...
167
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,300
DESPITE
THE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS
168
00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:45,901
AND SENTIMENTAL CLICH�S.
169
00:07:45,934 --> 00:07:47,267
THANK YOU.
170
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,534
AND YOU LOOK DIFFERENT.
WHAT IS IT?
171
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,934
I LOST 100 POUNDS.
172
00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:55,868
NO...I THINK
IT'S THE RECEDING HAIRLINE.
173
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,434
YOU KNOW, ANNE,
174
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,934
STUART IS
THE ASSISTANT DEPUTY MAYOR,
175
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,167
A VERY IMPORTANT POSITION.
176
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,601
SO YOU'VE ACTUALLY ACHIEVED
SOMETHING?
177
00:08:06,634 --> 00:08:08,767
MY MOTHER WILL BE SHOCKED.
178
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:11,000
OH, IS SHE STILL ALIVE?
179
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,901
EXCUSE ME?
NOTHING.
180
00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:15,567
I'M GOING
TO THE LADIES' ROOM.
181
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,534
THAT WOMAN IS EVIL.
182
00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:27,734
LET'S JUST LEAVE.
183
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:30,400
NO. THIS IS MY CHANCE
TO FINALLY SHOW HER
184
00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:33,133
THAT I'M NOT THE SAME GUY
SHE WALKED ALL OVER
185
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,534
15 YEARS AGO.
186
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:36,033
THAT'S VERY BRAVE.
187
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,801
I'M GETTING
THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
188
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:45,701
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME.
189
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,934
I'M THE PRESS SECRETARY.
I STAND OUT.
190
00:08:47,968 --> 00:08:50,133
I COMMAND ATTENTION,
DON'T YOU THINK?
191
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:53,701
WHY DID YOU LET ME ORDER
THE KUNG PAO CHICKEN?
192
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,968
I SAID, "GO CHOW MEIN,"
BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN.
193
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,501
HEY, ANGIE...
194
00:08:58,534 --> 00:09:01,167
DO YOU THINK
I'M AN INTERESTING GUY?
195
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,434
I SHOULD GET A MANICURE.
196
00:09:06,601 --> 00:09:07,734
SO? SO?
197
00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:09,801
HOW'D IT FEEL
TO TELL HER OFF?
198
00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,267
IT WAS OKAY.
199
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,667
NOW YOU'RE READY
TO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
200
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:16,100
STUART, THE STORES CLOSE
IN AN HOUR.
201
00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:19,033
YOU CAN TALK
TO YOUR DUMB FRIEND LATER.
202
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:20,667
COMING, HONEY.
203
00:09:26,334 --> 00:09:28,501
THE RESULTS
FROM THE FOCUS GROUP ARE IN.
204
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,234
I'VE PREPARED A COMPREHENSIVE
48-PAGE REPORT.
205
00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:32,767
THAT SOUNDS EXCESSIVE.
206
00:09:32,801 --> 00:09:34,767
DON'T WORRY.
I'VE CREATED A CHARACTER
207
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:36,834
CALLED MERV THE MONKEY
TO GUIDE YOU THROUGH IT.
208
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,501
WE THINK WE'VE ZONED IN
ON THE PROBLEM.
209
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,534
YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE DOING
WELL WITH WOMEN.
210
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:45,534
HEY, I'M JUST GOING
THROUGH A DRY SPELL.
211
00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:48,467
WE'VE COME TO
TWO DISTINCT CONCLUSIONS.
212
00:09:51,234 --> 00:09:55,200
IN THIS PICTURE, WOMEN FOUND YOU
RELIABLE AND SENSITIVE.
213
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:58,834
BUT IN THIS PICTURE...
214
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:02,567
WOMEN FOUND YOU UNRELIABLE
AND INSENSITIVE.
215
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,801
WELL, THIS IS EASY.
216
00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:10,868
LET'S JUST NOT SHOW THEM
THAT PICTURE.
217
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:19,934
SO, IN ESSENCE,
THE MAYOR'S WHOLESOME IMAGE
218
00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:21,934
IS BEING COMPROMISED
BY THE FACT
219
00:10:21,968 --> 00:10:25,467
THAT WOMEN FIND CHARLIE
DANGEROUS YET SEXUALLY ENTICING,
220
00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:28,400
AND THESE FINDINGS
JUST SCRATCH THE SURFACE.
221
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:32,200
WELL, CLEARLY WE NEED TO DO
MORE RESEARCH.
222
00:10:32,234 --> 00:10:35,267
I'LL NEED THESE WOMEN'S NAMES.
I'LL NEED THEIR NUMBERS.
223
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,767
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT --
224
00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:40,033
CHARLIE'S GETTING
ALL THE ACTION,
225
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,801
AND I'M TAKING ALL THE HEAT?
226
00:10:41,834 --> 00:10:42,934
BASICALLY.
227
00:10:42,968 --> 00:10:45,701
ANY WAY WE CAN REVERSE THAT?
228
00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:49,701
I'VE GOT A MEETING.
YOU ALL JUST KEEP ME POSTED.
229
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,200
I DON'T FIND YOU THAT SEXY.
230
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:58,100
I PREFER IT THAT WAY, SIR.
231
00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:01,133
CHARLIE, WE NEED TO CHANGE
THE WAY WOMEN PERCEIVE YOU.
232
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,734
YOU NEED TO APPEAR
MORE CARING AND SENSITIVE.
233
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,400
FIRST THING...
234
00:11:05,434 --> 00:11:07,767
WE'LL WORK ON HIS SMILE.
235
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:11,934
AND...WE NEED TO CHANGE
THAT WARDROBE.
236
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:13,467
LET'S CINCH UP HIS TIE.
237
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:16,734
HEY, LOOK, I'M NOT A DOLL
HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT.
238
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,567
OH, I BET HE'D LOOK CUTE
WITH BANGS!
239
00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:19,667
OH.
240
00:11:19,701 --> 00:11:21,334
WHOA, WHOA! BACK OFF!
241
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,968
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WUSS UP
MY APPEARANCE.
242
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,033
I GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS
TO WORRY ABOUT THAN MY LOOKS.
243
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,501
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT WE GET YOU
244
00:11:31,534 --> 00:11:33,434
SOME MEDIA EXPOSURE,
LIKE A TALK SHOW --
245
00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:34,734
ONE POPULAR WITH WOMEN
246
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:37,200
SO WE CAN SHOW
YOU CAN CONNECT WITH THEM
247
00:11:37,234 --> 00:11:38,767
ON AN INTERPERSONAL LEVEL.
248
00:11:38,801 --> 00:11:40,868
WHO IS THIS BROAD?
249
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:44,067
I'M THE BROAD WHO WAS HIRED
TO SAVE YOUR ASS.
250
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,467
WELL,
ACCORDING TO YOUR NUMBERS,
251
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:49,267
80% OF WOMEN THINK
MY ASS IS JUST FINE.
252
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,067
NUMBERS DON'T LIE!
253
00:11:54,968 --> 00:11:57,367
YOU HAVE BEEN HOSTILE
TO JULIA FROM THE START.
254
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,133
BECAUSE THIS IDEA OF YOURS
IS IDIOTIC.
255
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:01,734
I AM NOT GONNA GET PETTY,
256
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,968
BUT ONE THING IS CLEAR
FROM HER RESEARCH --
257
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,834
PEOPLE LIKE ME
BETTER THAN YOU.
258
00:12:05,868 --> 00:12:08,567
I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND TO BE
SOMEBODY I'M NOT.
259
00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:10,601
YOUR IMAGE
IS HURTING THE MAYOR,
260
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:12,167
SO DROP THE VANITY ACT.
261
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:25,400
I FIGURED OUT WHY THE FOCUS
GROUP DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME.
262
00:12:25,434 --> 00:12:27,501
I'M TOO STABLE,
TOO SUCCESSFUL.
263
00:12:27,534 --> 00:12:28,934
PEOPLE ARE INTRIGUED
264
00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:31,167
BY CELEBRITIES
WHO ARE FLAWED.
265
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,400
I NEED TO COME UP
WITH A FLAW.
266
00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:36,601
GEE, LET'S BRAINSTORM ON THAT
FOR ABOUT EIGHT SECONDS.
267
00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:38,767
I WONDER
HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE
268
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,901
TO DEVELOP
A DRINKING PROBLEM.
269
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:43,801
REMEMBER, I WANT YOU
READY TO GO BY 7:00.
270
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,300
I WILL BE.
271
00:12:45,334 --> 00:12:47,334
IS THAT YOUR DUCK PHONE?
272
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:51,300
I THOUGHT I MADE YOU GET RID
OF THAT YEARS AGO.
273
00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:53,300
OH, I JUST FOUND IT
IN AN OLD BOX
274
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:55,501
AND THOUGHT I'D DONATE IT
TO CHARITY.
275
00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:57,400
I'M NOT USING IT.
276
00:12:57,434 --> 00:12:59,267
[ BARKING ]
277
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,000
I-I CAN'T TALK NOW.
278
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,634
I WILL SEE YOU LATER.
279
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,567
OH -- AND WEAR A TIE.
280
00:13:11,601 --> 00:13:13,868
BUT NOT ONE LIKE THAT.
281
00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:17,968
STUART...
282
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,367
STUART!
283
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,167
STUART!!
284
00:13:25,334 --> 00:13:28,501
YOU'RE LETTING ANNE
TAKE OVER YOUR LIFE.
285
00:13:28,534 --> 00:13:31,334
[ BABBLES ]
286
00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:33,300
THAT'S JUST AN EXCUSE.
287
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,467
CARTER...
288
00:13:35,501 --> 00:13:38,133
YOU LISTEN TO ME.
289
00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:41,834
ANNE IS JUST GIVING ME
DIRECTION!
290
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:45,968
I MEAN, I SHOULD HAVE
MY OWN OFFICE.
291
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,634
AND I SHOULD BE MAKING
MORE MONEY.
292
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:52,067
AND I SHOULD BE BREAKING OFF
293
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,534
ALL CONTACT WITH MY PARENTS.
294
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:58,133
[ CHEERING ]
295
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:02,334
MY NEXT GUEST IS SPEARHEADING
SEVERAL NEW PROGRAMS
296
00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:05,000
THAT WILL MAKE LIFE EASIER
FOR WOMEN IN THIS CITY.
297
00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:07,367
AND BESIDES THAT,
HE'S A REAL CUTIE PATOOTIE.
298
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,501
PLEASE WELCOME THE DEPUTY MAYOR
OF NEW YORK, CHARLIE CRAWFORD!
299
00:14:10,534 --> 00:14:14,234
[ CHEERING, APPLAUSE ]
300
00:14:16,434 --> 00:14:17,667
HOW ARE YOU?
301
00:14:17,701 --> 00:14:18,968
GOOD.
302
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000
NICE TO SEE YOU.
THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
303
00:14:21,033 --> 00:14:22,868
THANK YOU.
304
00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:25,167
HOW ARE YOU, CHARLIE?
305
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,234
I'M SO HONORED
TO BE ON THE SHOW.
306
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,367
YOU DO SO MUCH
FOR WOMEN'S ISSUES,
307
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,501
AND I FEEL SO STRONGLY
ABOUT THAT.
308
00:14:31,534 --> 00:14:34,267
WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN
BY "WOMEN'S ISSUES"?
309
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:37,934
WHEN A MAN WATCHES FOOTBALL
AND SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS,
310
00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:41,200
HE'LL YELL SOMETHING
AT THE TV LIKE, "COME ON!"
311
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:43,200
BUT WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT.
312
00:14:43,234 --> 00:14:45,167
THEY CAN HAVE BABIES.
313
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,000
SO...
314
00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:50,434
I GUESS THAT'S
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.
315
00:14:50,467 --> 00:14:51,834
A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME
316
00:14:51,868 --> 00:14:54,033
THAT YOU WERE DATING
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER.
317
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,300
ANY TRUTH IN THAT?
'CAUSE SHE IS GORGEOUS.
318
00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:57,934
[ HOOTING ]
319
00:14:57,968 --> 00:15:01,067
ALL I KNOW IS THAT SHE'S
BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE.
320
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,801
ON THE INSIDE?
321
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:05,300
HEY, IF I LOOKED LIKE HER,
I'D BE BUTT NAKED EVERY DAY
322
00:15:05,334 --> 00:15:07,300
IN THE FROZEN-FOOD SECTION
OF A&P.
323
00:15:07,334 --> 00:15:09,133
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
324
00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:11,968
LISTEN, UP NEXT IS
A SINGLE MOTHER FROM NEW JERSEY
325
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,667
WHO RAISED FIVE CHILDREN
ON A PARALEGAL'S SALARY
326
00:15:14,701 --> 00:15:16,667
AND THEN TOOK DOWN
BIG TOBACCO.
327
00:15:16,701 --> 00:15:18,434
OH...
328
00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:19,734
WHAT?
329
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:23,100
[ Voice breaking ]
HER STORY...IS SO MOVING.
330
00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:25,234
[ SOBS ]
331
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:27,334
SOMEBODY GET HIM A HANKIE.
332
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:28,701
WE'RE GONNA TAKE A BREAK,
333
00:15:28,734 --> 00:15:30,734
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
AFTER THIS...MESSAGE.
334
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:32,901
[ CHEERING ]
335
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:40,534
I DON'T WANNA TALK
ABOUT ANNE.
336
00:15:40,567 --> 00:15:42,033
I WON'T SAY A THING.
337
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,634
I'LL JUST LET THESE
DO THE TALKING.
338
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:49,334
OH, MY GOD.
339
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:53,801
THE BIG JEANS.
340
00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:56,968
THE DAY I BOUGHT THESE
341
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,667
WAS THE SECOND-MOST
EMBARRASSING DAY OF MY LIFE.
342
00:15:59,701 --> 00:16:01,667
WHAT WAS THE FIRST?
343
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:04,367
THE DAY I HAD THEM LET OUT.
344
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,033
STU, I DON'T GET IT.
345
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,968
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE
346
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,367
WITH A WOMAN
WHO DOES THIS TO YOU?
347
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,267
LOOK...
348
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:16,000
ANNE WAS BEAUTIFUL.
349
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,834
SHE WAS POPULAR.
350
00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:19,767
AND WHEN I MARRIED HER,
351
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:23,267
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
I FELT LIKE A WINNER.
352
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,300
BUT YOU KNOW
ANNE'S BAD FOR YOU.
353
00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:26,901
YOU GOTTA BE STRONG, STUART.
354
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:29,767
YOU GOTTA CUT HER LOOSE...
JUST LIKE I DID WITH DOUG.
355
00:16:29,801 --> 00:16:33,234
DIDN'T HE LEAVE YOU
FOR A MALE NURSE NAMED HECTOR?
356
00:16:33,267 --> 00:16:35,467
HEY, WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT YOU, NOT ME, FATTY!
357
00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:39,367
STUART, DO YOU WANNA BE
A WINNER,
358
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,501
OR DO YOU WANNA END UP
RIDING A MINIBIKE
359
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,601
IN THE "GUINNESS BOOK
OF WORLD RECORDS"?
360
00:16:43,634 --> 00:16:45,567
I DON'T WANNA BE THAT GUY.
361
00:16:45,601 --> 00:16:48,334
STUART...
362
00:16:48,367 --> 00:16:50,033
YOU'RE A GREAT GUY.
363
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,400
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN HER.
364
00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:54,534
STUART!
365
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:56,901
YOU'RE NOT READY!
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MEET
366
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:58,701
MY MOTHER FOR LUNCH!
367
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,334
I'M NOT GOING.
368
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,801
ANNE,
EVER SINCE YOU GOT HERE,
369
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:05,534
YOU'VE DONE NOTHING
BUT MAKE ME FEEL SMALL,
370
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,033
AND...I'M SICK OF IT.
371
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,167
HONEY,
I KNOW I SEEM CRITICAL,
372
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,801
BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
I CARE ABOUT YOU.
373
00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,934
IT'S LIKE YOU SAID
IN YOUR LETTER --
374
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:16,133
WE'RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.
375
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,901
HEY...STOP IT!
376
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,300
WHAT?
377
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,868
I LIKE MY HAIR!
378
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:26,634
I LIKE MY JOB!
379
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:27,901
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
380
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:29,367
I LIKE WEIGHING MYSELF
381
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,667
ON A SCALE THAT'S NOT USED
FOR LIVESTOCK.
382
00:17:33,701 --> 00:17:35,400
ANNE, I'M OVER YOU,
383
00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:37,400
AND...
384
00:17:37,434 --> 00:17:40,434
I THINK WE SHOULD BOTH...
MOVE ON.
385
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:44,534
IF I LEAVE NOW,
YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN.
386
00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:47,000
GOODBYE.
387
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:51,000
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
388
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:52,567
[ EXHALES ]
389
00:17:52,601 --> 00:17:57,067
YOU, UH...WANNA GO GRAB
A BEER?
390
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,601
NO. I'M DRAINED.
391
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:02,734
I THINK
I'M JUST GONNA LIE DOWN.
392
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,601
OH, CHARLIE...
393
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,767
I THINK YOU STILL HAVE
SOME MAKEUP LEFT OVER
394
00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:25,234
FROM THE "ROSIE" SHOW.
395
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:27,467
WHY DON'T YOU GO
INTO THE LADIES' ROOM
396
00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:28,901
AND FRESHEN UP?
397
00:18:28,934 --> 00:18:30,734
[ LAUGHING ]
398
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,067
NICE ONE, SIR.
399
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,801
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, CHARLIE,
400
00:18:33,834 --> 00:18:36,467
YOU GOING ON TELEVISION
AND ACTING THAT WAY --
401
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:38,434
IT MEANT A LOT TO ME.
402
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,734
IN MANY WAYS, I SEE YOU...
403
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:42,667
AS THE DAUGHTER I NEVER HAD.
404
00:18:42,701 --> 00:18:45,868
[ LAUGHING ]
405
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:47,734
VERY CLEVER, SIR.
406
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:51,033
I ALWAYS ENJOY
A GOOD RIBBING.
407
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,567
HEY, CHARLIE...
408
00:18:52,601 --> 00:18:55,334
DOES THAT SWEATER COME
WITH A MATCHING SKIRT?
409
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,467
PAUL...
410
00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:01,100
MEAN ISN'T FUNNY.
411
00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:05,067
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW.
412
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,934
THAT WAS
A COMPLETE DISASTER.
413
00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:10,434
I THOUGHT IT WAS
VERY INFORMATIVE.
414
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:13,167
I DIDN'T KNOW
WOMEN COULD HAVE BABIES.
415
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,467
GIVING ME THAT MAKEOVER WAS
A BAD IDEA, AND YOU KNEW IT.
416
00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:17,934
OKAY, MAYBE I DID.
417
00:19:17,968 --> 00:19:19,767
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO IT?
418
00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:23,400
BECAUSE YOU WERE SUCH A JERK
ABOUT THIS FOCUS-GROUP STUFF.
419
00:19:23,434 --> 00:19:25,601
IF I WAS A LITTLE ARROGANT,
I'M SORRY.
420
00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:28,100
BUT THAT IS
PART OF THE REASON
421
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,934
WHY THE AVERAGE
NEW YORK WOMAN
422
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:31,934
HAS HAD 2.3 FANTASIES
ABOUT ME.
423
00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:34,901
I AM BURNING THESE RESULTS.
424
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:40,033
WELL, WE GOT
SOME NEW POLLING DATA.
425
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:42,334
THE GOOD NEWS IS
YOU'RE UP 1% WITH WOMEN.
426
00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:44,601
THE BAD NEWS IS
YOU'RE DOWN 20% WITH MEN.
427
00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:45,834
BUT I'VE GOT A FIX.
428
00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:48,334
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT RIDING A BULL?
429
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,534
IT SOUNDS
A LITTLE OUT THERE,
430
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:55,133
BUT -- HEY, YOU'VE EARNED
MY TRUST.
431
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:57,801
CHARLIE, YOUR IMAGE
STILL NEEDS A LOT OF WORK.
432
00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,501
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM
WITH ME?
433
00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:01,701
I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH YOU.
434
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,367
I'M SIMPLY REACTING TO DATA
FROM THE FOCUS GROUP.
435
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,400
STOP HIDING
BEHIND THESE NUMBERS.
436
00:20:06,434 --> 00:20:08,801
ADMIT IT --
YOU DON'T LIKE ME.
437
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:10,767
FINE. I DON'T LIKE YOU.
438
00:20:10,801 --> 00:20:12,033
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
439
00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:13,367
OH, I KNOW YOU.
440
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,400
YOU'RE THE GUY
WHO DUMPED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL,
441
00:20:15,434 --> 00:20:17,334
SLEPT WITH MY ROOMMATE
IN COLLEGE,
442
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:19,267
AND STOOD ME UP
LAST NEW YEAR'S EVE.
443
00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:23,534
CAROL?
444
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:25,701
I'VE DATED GUYS LIKE YOU
ALL MY LIFE.
445
00:20:25,734 --> 00:20:27,200
YOU'RE SEXY AND CHARMING,
446
00:20:27,234 --> 00:20:29,200
BUT THE MINUTE
THINGS GET SERIOUS,
447
00:20:29,234 --> 00:20:31,934
YOU'RE OUT THE DOOR.
WELL, I AM THROUGH WITH THAT.
448
00:20:31,968 --> 00:20:33,133
CONGRATULATIONS.
449
00:20:42,234 --> 00:20:43,767
OOH!
450
00:20:50,968 --> 00:20:54,400
SOFT LIPS...MINTY BREATH...
451
00:20:54,434 --> 00:20:57,868
PERFECT PRESSURE...
452
00:20:57,901 --> 00:21:00,400
YOU WEREN'T TOO BAD EITHER.
453
00:21:04,634 --> 00:21:06,667
BEFORE WE START
THE REGULAR BRIEFING,
454
00:21:06,701 --> 00:21:09,534
I HAVE AN INTRIGUING
PERSONAL REVELATION TO MAKE.
455
00:21:09,567 --> 00:21:12,067
IT MIGHT MAKE
AN INTERESTING STORY,
456
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,567
MAYBE A MOVIE OF THE WEEK.
457
00:21:13,601 --> 00:21:17,567
I, PAUL LASSITER...
AM A SEX ADDICT.
458
00:21:17,601 --> 00:21:19,901
I WILL NOW TAKE ANY QUESTIONS.
459
00:21:19,934 --> 00:21:21,367
YEAH?
460
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,033
UM, WHEN WILL
THE NEW SUBWAY CARS BE READY?
461
00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,467
AW, WHO CARES?
462
00:21:29,634 --> 00:21:32,100
- [MAN] SIT, UBU, SIT. GOOD DOG.
- [UBU BARKS]
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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