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NARRATOR: Coming up,
the guys push Sal
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00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,339
to the breaking point.
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00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,672
Keep the chair moving
the whole time, buddy.
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00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,269
[ Laughing ]
I can't do it!
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,474
NARRATOR: Q creates
a scene at the movies.
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00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,414
- A Diet Coke!
- What size?!
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00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:19,042
[Bleep]
Are you gonna work or no?
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00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,279
Oh!
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NARRATOR: And Murr wants
to know who's his daddy.
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- What's your name?
- Dan.
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- Dad?
- Dan.
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Dad?
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NARRATOR: And tonight's big
loser has to deal with one
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00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,951
huge problem.
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00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,223
Say hello to Beulah!
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[ Laughter ]
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00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,104
Everybody is afraid
of the dentist.
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And today, they should be.
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That's because we're
working as dental assistants
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00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:43,770
at Paramount Oral Surgery,
and we've got to help
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00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,175
the patients out.
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00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,839
Yeah -- helping them by doing
and saying what we're told by
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00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,007
the other guys.
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And if you refuse, you lose.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Laughs ]
What are you doing?
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I'm looking official so when
they walk in, it looks like
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00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,157
I'm doing something.
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00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,027
You're totally messing this
whole computer system up.
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[ Laughs ]
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00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:07,763
You just deleted
somebody's wisdom tooth file.
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[ Laughter ]
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[ Knock on door]
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Come in!
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Just finishing up.
One moment.
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Please have a seat.
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And...send.
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Got that e-mail out.
Excellent.
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[ Laughter ]
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Yes.
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You taking the stitches out
or they gonna dissolve?
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Uh, the stitches?
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00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,280
Uh, the doctor will definitely
make a determination on that.
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00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,013
I'm here just get you
up and started.
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So I was at Atlantic City
over the weekend.
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Oh, yeah?
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And everybody's eating steak,
and I'm eating crab cakes
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in the steakhouse, you know?
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Right.
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Tell him that's not your
worst story about crabs.
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Q: Those [bleep] crab cakes.
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That's not my worst story
involving crabs in Atlantic
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City, if you know what I mean.
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[ Laughter ]
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All right, um, so, Q,
take that suction wand
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and suck your own face.
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OK, so how long ago did
you have the procedure?
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Thursday, last week.
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Oh, OK.
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00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,113
[ Laughter ]
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00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,279
[Air hissing]
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I hope I --
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[ Laughter continues]
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Q, time to get
a little more intimate.
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"I like wearing the scrubs
'cause it makes me look
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like a nurse."
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Then I like wearing the
scrubs, too, 'cause it...
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kind of makes me look
like a nurse.
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00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:25,207
"And everybody wants
to bang a nurse."
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00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,473
And everybody wants
to bang a nurse.
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[ Laughter ]
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[Bleep]
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"Let me take a look at
the stitches real quick."
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Let me just take a look at
those stitches real quick.
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Say nah.”
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"I want to kiss you
so bad right now."
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[ Laughter ]
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I just want to go get
that doctor...
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so bad right now.
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[ Buzzer ]
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00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,430
Oh, my God. I'm nervous.
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00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,235
You don't know how
anything works!
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I don't know anything.
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You don't know how
anything works!
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I don't even know
what I'm doing!
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I don't know what the
first thing to do is!
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00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,680
[ Laughter ]
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00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,148
Yes. Come in.
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00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,684
Uh, pull it.
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00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:08,380
[ Laughter ]
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00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:09,683
Have a seat.
Make yourself comfortable.
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00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,554
So you're here for an
extraction consultation?
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Recline him back as far
as you can go.
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00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,821
Now, you said you got
this in October.
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00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,057
Let me ask you this.
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MAN: Give or take October.
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00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,391
[ Laughing, coughing]
Excuse me.
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I don't remember if it
was October or not.
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00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,433
Raise it all the way up
to the ceiling.
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Um...
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[ Laughter continues]
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The doctor will look at, uh...
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The doctor will- - [ Laughs]
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How long was it before
you saw the doctor?
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00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,111
Keep the chair moving
the whole time, buddy.
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00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,776
Don't stop.
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MAN: But it was swollen.
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00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,782
[ Speaking indistinctly]
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He can't keep it together!
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OK.
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00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,323
[ Laughter continues]
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00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:01,097
We're definitely gonna
be able to fix it.
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00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,267
If you want to do- - you
want to do it today?
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00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,674
[ Laughs ]
115
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,346
I'm gonna get him right now.
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Give me one second.
117
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,915
I'm getting him right now.
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[ Laughing]
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I can't do it!
120
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,051
I can't do it!
121
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,956
He's gonna fall!
122
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I can't do it!
I can't do it!
123
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:23,588
I can't do it!
124
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:24,823
I can't do it!
125
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,331
[ Buzzer ]
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00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,061
Joe. How are you?
Good.
127
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,798
Go ahead and lean back.
128
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,272
so we're coming in, just
checking out that upper apico?
129
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,603
Right.
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00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:39,509
Joe, I want you to now wheel
that tray of utensils over by
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00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:43,276
you, and please explain to him
what each one is in detail.
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00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,215
That's the, uh- -
that's a peekaboo.
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00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,411
That's what they call that.
134
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,578
[ Chuckles ]
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00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,019
It's to use to get right
in the undercarriage
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00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,647
back up there.
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00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,954
In the industry, we
call this the "bilateral
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00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,357
hammer- ray. . . rammer."
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00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,894
[ Laughter ]
140
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,487
And, uh- - because it really- -
see how it's sloped up?
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00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,055
You go up, but you flip
it over, it's sloped down.
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00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,725
[ Laughter ]
143
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,397
So this one's called the, uh,
"arch nemesis barfing," thing.
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00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,564
[ Laughter ]
145
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,732
That's a shoehorn.
146
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:08,934
I don't know how
that got in there.
147
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,943
[ Laughter ]
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00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,911
Somebody must've
just left that there.
149
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,209
Uh, this guy is
scarier than it looks.
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00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:18,774
In the industry, we call
this, uh...the mother [bleep]
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00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,820
'cause it really- - you get
it in there and yank, and you
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00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:21,979
yank it out.
153
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,181
It hurts like a mother [bleep]
154
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,689
[ Ding]
155
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,494
Hi, Nicole.
How are you?
156
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,689
Good. James.
So nice to meet you.
157
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,561
Come on in.
Have a seat, please.
158
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,532
Murr, spin on the stool
as you explain it.
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00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:35,693
You won't even feel anything.
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00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,895
Hold on one second.
161
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,164
Crash into things, Murr.
162
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,035
OK.
163
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,403
[Metal clinking]
164
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,634
Great.
165
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,836
[ Laughter ]
166
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,139
Keep going!
167
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:53,711
[ Laughter ]
168
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,879
[Crash]
169
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,923
Um, I need you to hold
on to this mirror.
170
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,220
He looks like a mad scientist!
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00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,591
Let me get this right
here...[ Clacking]
172
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:03,856
Oh.
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00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,124
I got to get somebody.
174
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,098
I got to get somebody
on that, fast.
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00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,759
Just roll out of the room.
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00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,029
OK.
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00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,367
[ Laughter ]
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00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,373
[ Ding]
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00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:18,400
NARRATOR: Sal and Q
really bit it on that one.
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00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:19,740
Does your tooth
still fall out?
181
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:23,044
No, because after it fell out
on camera, I went to a dentist
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00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,344
and had it fixed.
183
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:25,975
What they always ask you is
how your tooth got to that
184
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,314
state to begin with.
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00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,355
Well, what happened is, is I
went to Germany, and a German
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00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,413
cop punched me and then
knocked my tooth out.
187
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:32,719
Did you deserve it?
188
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:33,952
I don't think so.
189
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,153
[ Laughter ]
190
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,456
Germany does.
191
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,261
We're working at the movies
behind the concession stand
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00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,858
selling snacks to customers.
193
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,131
And we have to do and say
whatever the other guys
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tell us to.
195
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,073
Wha- hyah!
196
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,438
[ Laughter ]
197
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:50,942
Wear a tie like a grown- up.
198
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,239
Can I have my bow tie?
199
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:55,773
Joe, help these guys out.
200
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,009
How much is it?
201
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,278
- What candy you want?
- Small popcorn.
202
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,546
"Do you want, uh, 3d popcorn?"
203
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,746
3d popcorn?
204
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,482
- Sure.
- Sure.
205
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:04,989
Oh!
206
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,754
Joe, give him some 3d popcorn!
207
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:09,920
What exactly is 3d popcorn?
208
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,395
Looks like he's got
something in mind.
209
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:13,056
Oh, my God.
210
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,395
Oh, my God.
211
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,162
That's 3d popcorn, right?
212
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,303
[ Laughter ]
213
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,938
$9.25.
214
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:26,001
[ Laughs ]
215
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,444
And what can I get you?
216
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,607
At the end of every sentence,
leave your mouth hanging open.
217
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,083
Medium popcorn and
a thing of Sour Patch.
218
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,744
$7.25.
219
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,549
[ Laughter ]
220
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,146
So this is a Visa?
221
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,315
[ Laughter ]
222
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,619
Bigger, bigger, bigger.
223
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,260
Open it wider!
224
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:46,595
[ Laughter ]
225
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,826
[ Ding]
226
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,267
What size- - small,
medium, large?
227
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,238
"Let me guess- - the
Tyler Perry movie?"
228
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:57,037
Ohh.
229
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,374
Ohh!
230
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,178
Let me guess- - the
Tyler Perry movie.
231
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,947
Oh!
232
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:11,081
I cannot believe
you said that!
233
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,852
[Speaking Spanish]
234
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,223
Let me get two hot dogs.
235
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,194
Two hot dogs.
236
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,820
Whew!
237
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,023
Hello.
Welcome to the theater.
238
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,225
Small popcorn.
239
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,824
Small popcorn. Just one?
240
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,732
Now, Murr, whip your head back
real fast and just give them
241
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:26,135
an evil look and look back.
242
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:29,471
[ Laughter ]
243
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:32,170
Do it again!
244
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,908
[ Laughter ]
245
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,877
[ Laughter continues]
246
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,257
[ Ding]
247
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,485
Q, you didn't tuck
your shirt in.
248
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,493
- No.
- Why not?
249
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,392
- Tuck your shirt in!
- You know what you look like?
250
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,623
This is not the military.
251
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,599
Q, help these customers,
doing your best
252
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,693
Christopher
Walken impression.
253
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,069
[As Christopher Walken ]
OK, what can I help you with?
254
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,471
We're late for
our movie, though.
255
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,941
- Could we have a Diet- -
- You're late for your movie?
256
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,910
Yeah.
257
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,412
Please.
Medium Diet Coke.
258
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,606
A what?
259
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:09,841
A Diet Coke!
260
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,008
What size?!
261
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,210
What size?!
262
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,445
Oh [bleep]
Are you gonna work or no?
263
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,147
- Stop it.
- Whoa!
264
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,815
[Bleep] work.
265
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,051
[ Laughter ]
266
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,251
Ohh!
267
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,418
We want to watch a movie.
268
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,758
All right, all right.
Medium Coke.
269
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,525
- Diet Coke!
- Medium Diet Coke.
270
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,259
Medium Diet Coke?
271
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,561
Is everything all
right over here?
272
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,398
Everything is phenomenal!
273
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,562
You sure?
274
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,469
Yes! What else would you like?
275
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,371
Nachos and cheese,
medium popcorn.
276
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,535
That is a lot of
saturated fat!
277
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,544
- What else?
- Yeah, I know.
278
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,045
Keep it moving now.
279
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,844
[ Laughter ]
280
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,385
Let me see your
basketball, kid.
281
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,785
All right, go get it.
Leave me alone!
282
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,345
[ Ding]
283
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,690
- Can I help you, miss?
- Yeah.
284
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,920
- Twizzlers.
- Sure.
285
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,087
"Real quick- - are you interested
in independent film?"
286
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,755
Are you interested
in independent film?
287
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,925
"Because I've got a new
independent film coming out."
288
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,865
'Cause I have a new
independent film coming out.
289
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,369
"Yeah, there's a big poster
for it right in the back,
290
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,268
if you look behind you."
291
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,003
There's a big poster
for it in the back?
292
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,509
Sal, against the wall!
293
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,341
Behind her, behind her!
Behind her.
294
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,711
"Sal Sleeps," it's called.
295
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,215
Oh, my God.
296
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:23,252
That's a picture
of me sleeping.
297
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,087
That's gonna go
online, on Facebook.
298
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:30,528
"Everyone, look at my poster
for Sal Sleeps!"
299
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:34,761
Everybody,
I have a movie coming out.
300
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:35,960
It's called "Sal Sleeps."
301
00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:37,161
The poster's over there.
302
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,535
It comes out next week
if you want to see it.
303
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,969
Yeah, it's very independent.
304
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:45,374
I almost didn't even
make it myself.
305
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,606
When was that taken?
306
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:49,978
When we were driving,
you fell asleep.
307
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,574
Last week?
308
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,744
Last week, yeah.
309
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,287
We don't need much time.
310
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,516
Well, you [bleep]
me down here.
311
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,353
You guys got coupons.
I got you.
312
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:00,687
Be a sassy woman.
313
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,591
[ Laughs ]
314
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,788
[ Sassily ]
What's up, scoop neck?
315
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,888
[ Laughter ]
316
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:10,026
Whew, you wearing the hell
out of that shirt, boy!
317
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,764
We just want to get
popcorn and nachos.
318
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,399
Almond Joy's got
them nuts, y'all!
319
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,908
Sal, keep that sass up.
320
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:18,136
[ Normal voice]
I've had enough sass.
321
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,974
No, there's not enough sass.
More sass.
322
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,638
Sal, up the sass 25%.
323
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:23,306
I've been 10 pounds of
sass in a 5- pound sack.
324
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,577
25% more sass.
325
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:25,948
I need 25% more sass!
326
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,111
Thank you.
327
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,313
[ Sassily ]
I bet those glasses
328
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,548
make you see better!
329
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,955
[ Laughter ]
330
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,425
[ Ding]
331
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:38,863
NARRATOR: The guys snuck out
of the movies without a loss.
332
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,264
It's outrageous how expensive
movie snacks have become.
333
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,564
My mom trained me since I was
little to sneak in sandwiches
334
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:44,762
and drinks.
335
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,031
I do the side- pocket sandwich.
336
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,197
[ Laughter ]
337
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,138
As I give the guy the ticket,
I'm like...
338
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,301
[ Laughter ]
339
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,173
"Nothing to see here."
340
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,242
Oh, my God.
341
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,184
It seems like everybody's
got a blog these days.
342
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,721
So today, we're trying to get
people to let us take their
343
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,518
pictures for our blog.
344
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,491
But we don't know the name of
our own blog until the other
345
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,753
guys tell us.
346
00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,522
If you can't convince
the person to take
347
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,393
a picture, you lose.
348
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,762
Sal, the guy in
the blue t- shirt.
349
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,360
Yes, definitely.
350
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:19,530
Excuse me.
351
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,904
I have a blog, a daily blog.
352
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,465
It's a popular blog,
and you'd be perfect for it.
353
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,874
What's the blog about?
354
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,912
It's called
"Virgins for Sure."
355
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,847
It's, uh...you might
have heard of it.
356
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,749
It's called
"Virgins for Sure."
357
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,117
[ Laughs ]
358
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:38,385
Would you mind if I took
a photo of you for the blog?
359
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,618
Nah, I might pass on that.
360
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,421
- Yeah, you sure?
- Yeah.
361
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,825
All right.
It's all in good fun.
362
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:44,726
- Oh!
- That man gets laid daily.
363
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,822
[ Buzzer ]
364
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,630
The problem with Murray is
that he has to ask permission
365
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,467
to take the picture instead
of hiding in the bushes
366
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,803
and snapping away.
367
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,775
Murr, the man in
the polo shirt.
368
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,436
Sir. I run a blog
here in the city.
369
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,672
Yeah?
370
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:01,907
And you'd actually be
really good to be featured
371
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,107
on the blog.
372
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:05,150
It's called "Dads
I wish I Had."
373
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,412
[Stammering]
It's, uh...
374
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:12,118
it's called "Dads I
Wish I Had," uh, dot com.
375
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:15,092
You look- - you look like
you- - you're a good dad.
376
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,826
My dad ran out on my mom...
377
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,125
[ Laughter ]
378
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,291
when l was like 2, but then
he came back when l was 8.
379
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:24,097
Left again, stole
all our money.
380
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:27,401
Just a real dick.
You know.
381
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,599
- What's your name?
- Dan.
382
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,801
- Dad?
- Dan.
383
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,275
Dad?
384
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:32,675
Do you mind if I snap
a photo for it?
385
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:33,740
Cool.
386
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:34,905
Smile, Daddy.
387
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,142
[ Laughter ]
388
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:40,310
Thank you.
Thank you, Dad.
389
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,047
[ Ding]
390
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:43,289
Joe, the guy with the beard.
391
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:44,221
Oh, hey, man.
392
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:45,450
I see you're
a fellow picture- taker.
393
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,356
I'm taking some pictures
for my blog today.
394
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,258
I actually run a blog
that you'd be perfect for.
395
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,455
"Fashion of the Christ."
396
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,294
The name of it is, uh,
"Fashion of the Christ."
397
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,266
"Fashion of the Christ."
398
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,771
It's gentlemen who resemble
Jesus but have fashion sense.
399
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,328
Third day, he moved the rock
and he came out and walked
400
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,374
the runway, you know?
401
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,739
That's exactly
what's happening.
402
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,040
The logo is, it's him on
a crucifix, but he's got
403
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,273
a pashmina on.
404
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,940
If you learned anything
from Corinthians 2:16,
405
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,314
it's not to wear
brown shoes, black belt.
406
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,477
[ Retches ]
407
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,579
You know, that makes me
throw up in my mouth.
408
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,887
So, uh, can I take
a picture of you?
409
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,426
[ Laughing]
One, two, three.
410
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,620
Oh.
411
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,356
The fashion sense- -
it's a miracle.
412
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,591
[ Ding]
413
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,327
Oh, Q, get that guy
in all white.
414
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,426
I'm taking pictures for a blog
today in the park, and you
415
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,629
would be absolutely perfect.
416
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,830
Have you heard of the blog?
417
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,031
It's called, uh...
418
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,472
"Uptighty- whities."
419
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,133
[ Laughter ]
420
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,245
"Uptighty- whities."
421
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,581
Never heard of
"Uptighty- Whities"?
422
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:48,017
It's about, you know,
white guys who dress like
423
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:50,214
white guys.
424
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,654
Ultra- white guys.
425
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,850
And you are- - look at you.
426
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,291
You define
ultra- white right now.
427
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:56,623
Yes, uptighty- whities.
428
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,561
Do you mind if I just take
a quick photo of you?
429
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,758
Thank you.
Dude, I'm loving you, bro.
430
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:01,993
"Uptighty- whities!"
431
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,194
Uptighty- whities.
432
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,760
He's like, [ Deep voice]
"Uptighty- whities."
433
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,806
I'm loving you.
434
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,865
[ Ding]
435
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:13,673
NARRATOR: Sal blew his blog,
which gives him two losses.
436
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,915
We're at the park, where we're
gonna pull a seat up next to
437
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,919
a stranger and simply ask them,
"Penny for your thoughts?"
438
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,750
And after we hear what they
have to say, we have to tell
439
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,119
them what we're thinking.
440
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,522
But our thoughts are gonna be
given to us by the other guys.
441
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,389
The goal is to say the stupid
thing your friends have told
442
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,224
you and continue
the conversation.
443
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,924
If you can't complete
your thought, you lose.
444
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,536
Hey, Sal.
Right there on the left.
445
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:42,199
Black hair.
446
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,674
It's a hot one today, right?
447
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,005
It's hot today.
448
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:46,908
This looks like a clear
"He's trying to pick her up."
449
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:48,469
But I like the summer.
450
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,015
Is it that simple to get
the girl's phone number?
451
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,344
If you're Sal.
You can't do that.
452
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:52,543
They'd call the police on you.
453
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:53,778
[ Laughs ]
454
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,787
Penny for your thoughts.
455
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,119
It's better to enjoy this
weather because it clears your
456
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,351
mind, you know.
457
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:01,859
- It makes you feel good.
- Yeah.
458
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,020
"You want to know
what I'm thinking?"
459
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:04,357
You know what I'm thinking?
460
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,660
"Fluoride in the water's
giving my son bitch tittays."
461
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:07,892
[ Laughter ]
462
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,059
Oh, Lord.
463
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,261
[ Laughter ]
464
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:13,999
Fluoride in the water
is giving my- -
465
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,540
fluoride in the water
is giving- -
466
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,371
[ Laughter ]
467
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:18,876
There's fluoride in
the water, all right?
468
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:21,573
Not good for
anybody, you know?
469
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,944
He can't do it!
470
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,813
The fluoride in the water is
giving- - I can't even do it.
471
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:29,377
The fluoride in the water
is giving my son bitch- -
472
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,218
[ Laughter ]
473
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:34,555
[ Laughs ]
474
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,925
The fluoride in the water- -
the fluoride in the water is
475
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,156
not good for you.
476
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,391
It's not good.
477
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:40,932
The fluoride in the water
is- - I can't believe I
478
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,968
can't say this.
479
00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:44,730
You have a great day.
480
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:45,998
Have a great day.
481
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:49,200
[ Buzzer ]
482
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:50,742
Girls, straight ahead.
483
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,641
Like, just sit on the
bench next to them?
484
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,838
[Sighs]
485
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:57,314
That's gonna be so weird!
486
00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:59,510
[ Laughter ]
487
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:00,677
Oh, you want to
share that orange?
488
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:01,981
I'll go in for an orange.
489
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,180
Banana too?
490
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,484
Uh, I mean, I'll
take whatever.
491
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,990
Whichever one you girls
don't want, I'll take.
492
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,150
I can have both of them?
493
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:09,524
No, I mean, I'm not homeless.
I have a job.
494
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:10,994
[ Laughter ]
495
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:12,155
Uh, penny for your
thoughts, ladies.
496
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:14,665
What are you two
thinking about right now?
497
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,531
- That it's hot?
- Yep.
498
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:18,433
All right. I was earlier
thinking it was hot,
499
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,165
but now what I'm thinking...
500
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:22,230
"Do you notice it
when you look at me?"
501
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:25,334
Uh, do you notice it
when you look at me?
502
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,844
[Chuckling]
503
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:29,780
I mean, clearly, there's
something going on here that
504
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,646
you should be noticing.
505
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,015
"Well, can you smell it?"
506
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:35,280
Oh.
507
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:37,720
Can you see it or smell it?
508
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,515
"Did you hear it?"
509
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,254
I mean, did you hear it?
510
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,693
[ Laughter ]
511
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,993
So you don't see it,
you don't smell it, and you
512
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,225
don't hear it.
513
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,392
"Is there a chance
you'll touch it?"
514
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,832
[ Laughter ]
515
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:54,072
Is there, uh...is there
a chance you'll touch it?
516
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,402
OK, we're gonna end!
517
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:56,839
Well, lovely talking
to you girls.
518
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,171
All right.
519
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:02,305
[ Ding]
520
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,872
NARRATOR: Sal is at a loss
for words, and he's also
521
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,816
the big loser.
522
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,111
Oh, boy!
523
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:12,282
We are at the State Fair
Meadowlands for Sal's
524
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,986
punishment, and l have never
been more excited in my life.
525
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:16,255
That's awesome.
526
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:19,196
Sal, do you remember last
season when we made you pick
527
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,859
up dog poop as
your punishment?
528
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,026
Oh, I got it.
529
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,535
[ Laughter ]
530
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,401
[Yells]
531
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:29,399
Yes.
532
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,841
Well, now we've gotten
bigger and better!
533
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,242
Say hello to Beulah!
534
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,904
[ Laughter ]
535
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:39,475
Behind us is a huge pile
of elephant poop!
536
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,110
We've hidden something
in the poop that's very
537
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,279
personal to you.
538
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,448
When Sal showed up today,
we took his car keys.
539
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,650
We decided to hide them
in the elephant poop.
540
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:47,818
No, that's- - no.
541
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,224
[ Laughter ]
542
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,523
I don't want to say anything,
but when the elephant crapped
543
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:54,396
before, I heard a "beep- boop"
from your- - from your car.
544
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,265
ALL: Find those keys!
Find those keys!
545
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,667
[ Laughs ]
546
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,205
This ain't right, man!
547
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,607
I mean, once I touch it- -
548
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:13,209
You're in.
You can't un- touch it.
549
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:14,809
[ Groans ]
550
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,821
[Groaning]
551
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:17,981
It's a little deeper, buddy.
552
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:20,116
We're gonna be
here for a while.
553
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,523
Oh, my God.
It's so hard to watch.
554
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,686
ALL: Oh!
555
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,356
[ Laughs ]
556
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:28,059
His body won't let him do it!
557
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:29,294
Ooh- - ohh.
558
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,734
ALL: Ohh!
559
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:32,896
[ Retches ]
560
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,770
[Spits]
561
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,638
- Oh, boy!
- Ohh!
562
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,109
Deeper. Both hands, buddy.
Both hands.
563
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,304
I know, but then
I lose this hand!
564
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,142
[ Laughter ]
565
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:43,442
ALL: Ohh!
566
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,642
[ Retching ]
567
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:45,877
You don't know it's
not inside, dude.
568
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,111
You're never gonna
find them this way.
569
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,847
Oh, my God!
570
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,354
Oh, attaboy, buddy.
571
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,357
Attaboy. Dig deep.
572
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,916
Shut [bleep] up.
573
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,086
Where the [bleep] is it?!
574
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,288
[ Retches ]
575
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:00,093
[ Laughter ]
576
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,292
[ Breathing heavily]
577
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,130
Warmer, warmer.
578
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,067
No, is the poop- - is it
warmer towards the bottom?
579
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,934
[ Coughs ]
580
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,098
[Whimpering]
581
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,005
My God! My God!
Oh, my God!
582
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,168
Oh, God!
583
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:12,369
It's so [bleep] gross!
584
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:13,639
[ Laughter ]
585
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,704
[Whimpering]
586
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,806
[ Laughter continues]
587
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,282
This is my worst nightmare!
588
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:23,447
Oh, my God!
589
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,683
Almost to the middle!
In the middle!
590
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:26,850
Oh, I was supposed to
put it in there?
591
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,018
[ Retches ]
592
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:29,186
I was supposed to put
the key in there?
593
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:30,387
You [bleep]
594
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,896
[ Laughter ]
595
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,498
"Beep- boop- boop!"
596
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,199
[Bleep]
597
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:39,669
So all that was...
598
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,572
ALL: For nothing!
599
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:43,733
You know what? Guys.
600
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,401
I [bleep] love you guys.
I love you, buddy.
601
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,207
I have the keys.
602
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,974
- I love you.
- Ohh!
603
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,276
Ohh!
604
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:51,509
Oh, my God!
605
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:55,350
You have elephant [bleep]
on your face!
37932
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