All language subtitles for Shameless.S04E08.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-iJP.SDH

Tickets this way for
the Chatsworth Express.

Come and watch [inaudible].

He's making a mess of the
lives they were given by

and what was [inaudible].

And kids, they're
convinced actually theirs.

What sounds on earth could ever
replace kids needing mommy.

Or wives in your face.

Because it's people
reckon and me included.

These are my mom's
groups kind the invented.

The Camisole downstream
going mental.

These are Chatsworth
Estates basic essentials.

We are worth every penny
we grind in your axes.

what you shall not have
bought you pay the taxes.

Imagine it without
[inaudible] and buccanneers.

who will come in your face
of the price of a beer.

Policy history she now she

Photographs can do
the total opposite

of jogging your memory.

The second you press
[inaudible] you sacrifice

the right to recollections.

You can stare at a
picture till doomsday

but you won't smell
smells, won't hear voices.

And all the rumpy pumpous
surrounding the snapshot.

They say the camera never lies.

Photos don't claim any memory
beyond the thin white rims.

I wish I'd known this earlier.

We did not enjoy the horrors
of childbirth seven times

to populate this lonely planet.

And I did not work my
fingers to the bone.

Both inside and outside!

Put it right on our table!

Norma, zigzag through the most
hamfisted civil war in history

to have to take it
right up the shitter!

Paying for these devil's dildos!

You're up [inaudible]
hours doing crossword.

Zambia won't be
cheap, will it?

[shouting]

Yeah, well, she's my
sister, and I miss her.

And nobody should have to pay
to speak to a fuckin' nun!

Not their fault
you've not been invited.

It's Izzy's funeral.

Me, at Izzy Ahmed's funeral?

Shane says he poached
my slot machines racket

while I'm in the slammer.

Hm?

Same Izzy Ahmed I lent 10 grand
to to pay for his wedding.

The cellmate who saved
your life from the rotunda?

Now dead.

Izzy.

Making him the second one.

Bam!

God--

Ring Cenista.

Ask her if you can go.

Can't.

Don't know where my phone is.

Haven't got a suit black enough.

They're Indians.

You have the shade [inaudible].

They'd love you for.

Plus, new rule--

elbows off the table
while the telly's on.

Starting Monday.

Now, everybody gone before I
sit down for a bit of me time.

Fuck.

What's up?

Well, for a unit
up at full bursary.

All three.

So is that it?

Going to Durham?

When?

Nottingham.

We decided.

Council students on
full bursary statistically

are more likely to die
under the age of 25.

Ian!

That's horrible.

They're not used to the money.

Always waving it about.

Magnets for muggings.

So the cost nosedives, plus
straight back to council 07.

Why is that going
to kill anyone?

Getting swatted for all
the mess they left behind.

Different accents,
and using big words.

Well done, mate.

And you.

Come here.

You told me these
were our rejections.

So, what?

They changed their minds?

All three?

Or were you just
bullshitting me?

Because if you were, we
need to talk about this.

Cause I'm feeling
a bit left out.

I wasn't going to go if
I didn't get the money.

Which meant--

I told him to.

We know.

We all do.

We're not struggling
just for my sake.

Yeah.

How clever is he, then?

Tell your daddy
how proud you are.

Of your daddy.

Why you's all crying?

It's what you wanted.

I mean, how's a guy not
feel threatened by mortality?

When he's lost two of
his closest friends

and worst tenants within
the space of a month.

Could you?

What I meant earlier was
it's possible that you're

in the throes of a depression--

What you said was
dangerously offensive to a man

of my constitution!

Depressed?

For fuck's sake!

I-- I think what I meant
was a depression by proxy.

A pretend depression,
if you will.

What What kind of
stunt's required to fix

this little fucker then, eh?

Uh, antidepressants.

But, um-- placebo-esque ones.

For pretend depression by proxy.

Right you are.

Thank you.

Truth being, Mrs. Ahmed.

I heard about your
son within a fortnight

of Felix Fawcett's demise.

Bloke says the Iranian
I shared a cell with.

Like Three Musketeers
we were, the four of us.

Me, Felix, as black as you like.

Ronnie Cohen, the
only Jew castigated

for making good money,
and your beautiful Izzy.

Hm?

Nights on end talking about
finding the right girl

he would marry.
Ah.

All three so alike.

Uncannily alike when it came
to unpaid debts and treading

on my business toes.

No ill of the dead
intended, Ahmed, eh?

First among equals, your Izzy.

Ergo drowning with
dignity in the privacy

of his own bathroom.

Hm?

You're joking, aren't you?

He can't see mine.
It's yours.

But we have to if
your mom's not coming.

I'm hoping he's not coming.

Not if he brings
that nutter he sees.

Jut like Chris
Miles in a jumpsuit.

Hey, listen, it doesn't
really matter who comes, anyway.

No one's going to be looking
at anyone but the bride.

Especially me.

Oi!

You're supposed to
be doing the barrels.

Mm.

Where am I sitting, then?

I'm above it.

Just put me name on your
furniture when you split up.

Only give me long enough to
save a couple of hundred quid.

[laughter]

[knocking]

[laughter on television]

Sorry.

Not a chance without
the remote call.

You can reach
controls from here?

I watch telly in bed.

Another 20 and I'll
find you a Sky dish,

and I'll get you a
state's reach of buttons.

Why the hurry?

Please

All right.

One condition.

You make sure your
mom hears about this.

You must tell her that
I gave you double that.

I've stopped her pocket
money cause "Wezel"

kept catching it off her.

I mean, I know he's
your dad, but she

must hate herself to
let that bedridden

fuck anywhere near her.

Do us a favor in the meantime.

And you say it loud and clear.

Norma is doing up this van.

Splashing out.

What the shit?

Well, she thinks I've stopped
her spends because I'm skint,

but she needs showing
that what's mine is hers.

But not until she puts
that mongrel asleep.

Spend it on a
flat of your own.

I'm not budging from here
until she leaves with me.

Which might not happen
until I tidy me act up.

Give her a reason
to look at me twice.

Sorry, I-- Ta.

[shouting]

Who would you tell first
if you was in the shit?

Deep shit.

Running out of time, so
you can't breathe properly.

Not long here I'll be going.

What the fuck
happened to our Carl?

He's quiet without Lip.

And then, anybody seen Carl?

It's a lot.

A lot quieter.

You can't lend us 500
by Friday, can ya?

[shouting]

What kinda shit did
they mix this stuff with?

Go on, make us a brew.

And stop frowning.

[singing "ave maria"]

[clapping]

Ah, if there's no
place in Heaven for you's

lot when the time comes,
someone's getting a punch

in the knickers from me.

Tell 'em I said so.

Whoops.

If you hadn't seen
the state of them,

they could have been angels.

But seriously, the first
time my hair stood on end.

Are you lot sisters?

We're all at Roswell.

Rehabilitation Defenders
Showcase, down Wellington Road?

Well, in that case you should
be extra proud of yourselves.

Right.

Sizes, so the seamstress
can cut the patterns out.

Who's first?

Why didn't you
tell me it switched?

Mom told--

Remember, outside boots.

When I went, singers
had a change of plan.

Bad news for Aunt Hillary.

She's been summoned
to Crown Court.

And you went, is Angela the
scraggy ginger deaf one?

Karen, you didn't!

- And I said, yeah.
- Dickhead.

No!

But I think she'd prefer
little red headed stunner

with a hearing impairment.

We'd better shoot if you
don't miss the start again.

Keys, Mickey.

And a lid for Karen.

Watch that [inaudible].

It's running low on juice.

Hey, I'd think twice before
singing at his wedding.

This mug's a probation
office officer now.

Training to be.

My brother, a
probation officer?

That's embarrassing.

Till one of us
changes his mind.

Is it all right paying
you next week for this gear?

Mom's cool about it.

Will you stop talking to
me like a total stranger?

Just don't be caught retailing.

You see, you've been
doing that for years.

I've found more
scaggs than Longford.

Teaching dozy pregs
how not to get caught

is economic imperative.

I can't operate franchises
with a labor force in prison.

No comparison to the scale of
defection you're contemplating.

I need you to know
that I love you--

more than words
could ever describe.

I'm sorry about
your mate, Dad.

How humiliating, huh?

Ignore me.

Shut the door.

Behind you.

A very warm welcome
back to our third weekend

of your probation
induction course.

At Anderton Lodge,
of all places.

Ba-dum tsh!

Welcome.

Welcome back.

Particularly special thanks
to you wives, husbands,

joining us now.

For dedicating you
time and effort

supporting your partners.

Helping them back
into the mainstream.

And more importantly,
start putting

something back into society.

Using their first hand service
user experience to hopefully--

touch wood-- turn
one or two scaggs

from our beloved
public housing sector

into responsible citizens.

And tax payers.

Swallow that, you'll
swallow anything.

Only messing.

Believing it, didn't ya?

Reputation to uphold.

It's only Jamie.

Your mom has got a big--

Comedy calling.

Uh, I am talking
here, Mrs. Maguire.

Uh, so am I, pal.

[applause]

Ian?

Somebody after a
pint of [inaudible]..

No, it's a pint and two E's.

2 quid each.

250 after 10:00.

It's me, now that
I am the captain

of this little ship
while [inaudible]

is away on maternity.

With little baby Jason.

Now, who she
incubated for profit.

Charging that young
couple a fortune.

So can people
please stop passing

cards at the bar for them
to send on without stamps?

(SINGING) Sometimes
it's hard to be a woman.

They'll tell you
she had 18 stitches.

Aw!

Oh, god!

Is that all?

(SINGING) Giving all
your love to just one man.

Oh, god, shutting the shop down.

Oh, what?
- Banging it in.

I'm shooting off.

Aw, but you came
to see the hypnotist.

He'll be on in a sec.

Yeah, and he'll
kill you there, dyke.

Regress to a past life.

Jackal with two
dicks and one eye.

When I've just
got you a drink in.

Don't be a giver upper.

Well, if you're
twisting me arm, like.

(SINGING) And tell
the world you love him.

I think you're in pain, Norma.

Get the chocolate clown up!

(SINGING) Stand by your man!

FRANK: Money pays off.

[applause]

What if you
weren't just starting

the van up to sit here
waiting, but actually

making it drivable?

As if any second now you'll
be setting off somewhere else.

Somewhere brilliant.

Like America.

Well, it's not
mine to drive off.

Exactly.

But if you give us a
oner for the [inaudible],,

you can say you're
driving through Texas.

Yours for a oner, but I
need the money by Friday.

Get fucked.

Beg pardon.

I didn't mean you.

Mom!

What's Norma doing
the van up for?

To go to Texas?

If you're saying stupid stuff
cause you're sleep walking,

I'll have to fetch
somebody else.

Because it freaks me out.

Naw.

She is.

Texas.

With that blonde boo
with the big tits.

See her sneaking in
and out sometimes.

She a mate of yours?

Probably.

Who have you been seeing
at four in the morning?

Finding a petrol station.

You filled it when we set off.

Not with, uh--

rubbers.

Chocolates.

And, uh, most importantly--

wrapping paper.

What is it?

Well, the whole point
to traveling miles

was to keep you guessing
a little bit longer.

Go on.

We don't do the
rings yet, you knob.

This one's allowed any time.

Eternity ring.

Wow.

I've never known what
eternity rings meant before.

I know what the word means.

You're mad sometimes, you.

God, this is doing my head in.

Hey.

This is yours.

From me.

For life.

Forever.

Oh, man.

Yo.

Mom?

Do you mind?

Do you mind?

Mom!

Fuck's sake, Carl.

Grow up.

And put some weight on.

Cow!

What?

Cow!

Cow?

What?

Know what?

You can all get fucked,
eat shit, and die.

Cause I ain't gonna
be here much longer.

Hey--

Not that I'm bitching
about your estimate.

Because you know I'm a
great believer in you

get what you pay for.

It's just, you know, I expect
it to be perfect for that price.

Have you seen this?

She's spending money
like it's fucking water.

Is that all you
ever think about?

Money?

Well-- well, you said that she
was totally obsessed with ya.

Well, of course she is.
It's as plain as day.

Right, well, just--

just tell her that
you need more proof.

Enough to get us by till Friday.
- [sigh]

Go on.

Oh!

Fuck, no, wait.

Wait.

Oh.

Just-- just get out
there and get some spends.

Now, look-- where
is your lipstick?

I've fucking turned
into Super Nanny now.

I'm a fan of
first impressions.

I'm telling you, Norma,
this little home--

I can turn it into a palace.

[knocking]

Knock knock.

Heard voices.

Just thought I'd check
you're not being burgled.

[inaudible].

We don't stare.

Something I learn
to get used to.

After 9/11, we are all
potential terrorists.

Couldn't lend
us 30, could you?

Get food for the kiddies.

How many kids?

Six.

Mostly underweight.

I'd hate to impose.

Say if you're skint.

Top hat and tails.

Anyway, I look like an
overdressed undertaker.

If Karen is having a
scarlet wedding dress,

you want something a bit
more cocked and formal.

I had to get wed in
a turquoise twin set.

Top were turquoise,
pants were purple.

I burned all the [inaudible]

The scarlet thing--

that's just for the bridesmaids.

Bridesmaid, you said?

I hope so.

The family that got me
this is on remand now.

The bride.

And scarlet?

[inaudible] fucking harlot.

Tell me somebody's
taking the piss.

I want to get
married in white.

Just white.

It was your idea.

No it wasn't, Mimi.

When?

I meant it was his idea.

Me?

I says to you how our new
[inaudible] going to look

fabulous in your white
organza, and you went quiet

on account of white
organza, reminding

you of less happy occasions.

i.e. what your dear
mother insisted

on wearing to be buried in.

Yeah?

I told you that?

Et cetera.

Unless, of course, you never
meant a bleeding word of it.

Because it's truer
than he thinks.

Patrick Maguire can't
hold his ale anymore.

[laughter]

Is that it?

Can this one manage without
the doorbell on the big day?

Or this that gonna bugger
up your [inaudible]??

[high pitched screaming]

Oh, bugger!

This isn't funny, Jamie!

It's pathetic.

What, your blokes
[inaudible] ring around ya?

It's only a dress.

Shouldn't anybody
think for themselves?

Because the family falls
apart when they try to.

She's just a low
rate, loud mouth drug

dealing in a shitty
little dump like this.

Charging over the odds,
more than people can afford,

ripping people off, scaring
people shitless till they

hate her fucking guts!

What have you
fucked out for them?

You get what you pay for.

Right, you two.

Inside for your tea.

Chips again, I'm afraid,
but it's all I can afford.

Just have to hope
my lucky numbers

come up in the rollover draw.

Where's the chips, then?

Nearly ready.

Just need peeling.

Carl?

Hey!

Hey!

I know it needs plugging in.

To do what?

I don't know exactly,
but resale's 80.

Yours for 30.

Which is--

Shit.

Hello, Yvonne.

Best price for a
bottle of bubbly

for the hard working
civil service.

Uh, if you're not too snobby,
I've got the Bosnian stuff.

Uh, tenner a piece, or 3 for 30.

Wanna get silly
and go for three?

Three apiece, Yvonne.

Somebody's birthday?

Somebody's death.

Ron Cohen, as seen on TV.

Panorama.
Welding action.

The lot.

Most hard faced landlord
to walk this town.

Owned half of Chadwick Green.

The knobs say poisoning
from his own central heating.

Cheers, mate.

Where'd you get this?

Shit.

A-- a customer left it.

You know, I tried preordering
and they said 12 week wait.

How much?

Oh, well, they
retail at over 90,

but if you join the Christmas
club with 20 quid up front,

I could let you have it for 75.

Sold.

We'll check round later.

Brilliant.

See ya.

20 was said, innit?

NEWSCASTER: By legal action
on no less than 25 occasions.

One occasion was
famously scheduled

for a high court
hearing that never made

its day because the plaintiff--

Paddy?

Hey.

Hey, hey.

What's the matter?

Come on, Paddy.

I'll go get Mimi.

Mimi?

No!

Ron Cohen.

Monoxide poisoning.

That's someone seriously
taking the piss out of me now.

You know what you need?

You need a drink.

Taxi, please, Yvonne.

I think I've got some easy
jet miniatures in the back.

Somewhere.

Ronnie Cohen.

Last time I saw him--

bowling alley.

Hardcore ding-dong as
only close friends can.

Went too far.

I know injuries on that
scale weren't my intention.

We agreed to truce.

Mutual admirers,
keeping our distance.

Him more than me.

He worshipped me.

Third musketeer.

Dying.

Gone!

Carbon monoxide poisoning.

Izzy Ahmed, topped himself.

Felix Fawcett, suicide.

I'm really sorry.

How much longer have I got?

I'm the fourth musketeer.

And I don't see Satan
stopping at three.

Do you?

So what I was
wondering was what

somebody with a
wonderful imagination

would think about that.

Well, I'd really
want to know how

much you really need
to do a parachute

jump before committing here.

This might be the
only chance I get where

the time is this right for me.

Can't you nip in
and talk about this?

No, not really.

Family and everyone want
everything sorting for 'em.

You're the funny money wizard.

The best.

You know you are, so don't
get coy with me, missy.

NORMA: I'd want to
know exactly how much--

Oh, don't be like that.

Don't be such a [inaudible].

Let me hear your
sunny side up voice.

Mm.

See my tie, Debs?

Imagine me, though,
from 1,000 feet.

[doorbell]
- Life and limb.

MAN: Hello?

Special delivery.

Could land anywhere.

On top of somebody.

You, maybe.

[screaming]

[crash]

[siren]

[doorbell]

Doesn't stop you winging?

Well, I don't know how much
longer I can live without you,

Monica.

The thing is I think it
might help get rid of this--

Ah.

That's for 2A.

She's round the back.

Can't you just give it to her?

Could turn me
round completely.

I'd rather [inaudible].

Facing me?

MONICA: We've got to use our
imaginations, haven't we?

Oh, I want your babs in
me mouth, smothering me.

There's a thought.

Quite a lot of
thoughts, actually.

Clouds, and steam, and ozone.

And landing there, eh?

It's like watching a film here.

You set my heart on fire
when you sit on my face.

Swirling.

[moaning]

MONICA: Turning round.

All the way round.

Loop the loop.

To where?

Hm?

That's the surprise.

Mystery prize for
a mystery person.

Say me!

Say my name, mum!

Now!
Now!

I'll get back to
you when the kids

are school, safe and sound.

All right?
- No, no, no!

No, wait.
Wait, wait.

[knocking]

Post for ya.

Leave it on the step!

Needs signing for!

Oh, sign it
yourself and bug off!

[moaning]

You OK?

Ignore me.

I should listen to what your
daddy says, and learn to put

up with this kind of stuff.

What kind of stuff?

Our new Karen treating
me like a piece of shit.

You what?

Forget it.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Forget nothing!

What's she been saying?

Mom!

She said something like--

she's just a low
rent, loudmouthed drug

dealer in a shitty little dump.

Meaning me.

What can I get you, Mandy?

Got a baseball bat?

Has Mandy come in here?

KAREN: Get off me!

Oi!

Oi, oi!

Come on!

Come on!

Get off!

Get off her!

Come on!

You're not fit to
lick my mom's boots!

Never mind showing up in public,
you sponging piece of shit!

A Maguire calling
me a sponger?

And you, letting
this scrubber loose!

Hey, Mandy, Mom's big enough
to fight her own battles.

That's exactly what I said.

You must've met enough
hairy-ass knob gobblers inside.

Why wait 10 years for a woman?

Best you've come up with
is half tramp, half tranny.

You--

Hey!

Mandy!

Get up!

What's your show and tell
for the last 10 years, Mand?

[shouting]

You're looking alot like a
woman you swore you'd never be.

We're getting off.

Move it.

I'm happy with the
changes I've made.

And a child I'd die for.

A pleasure you'll never see.

Not if you get this
mutant pregnant.

12 toes and more faces
than a town hall clock.

You did all that?

Got a kid?

Me and Lip did, yeah.

Plus plenty of other stuff
once we get where we're going.

Yeah, right.
Your best laid plan?

More than you've
achieved, you fucking--

That's not achievement,
you dumb bitch.

You got tanked, got
your cacks down.

Let this joker slip you one.

Three minutes tops,
nine months to name it,

and the next 20 years convincing
yourself that a basic mistake

was actually part of a plan.

No you don't, Jamie.

My Brother or not.

[shouting]

[screaming]

For fuck's sake, Jamie!

How's Lip taking the blame?

You're not the only
Maguire with qualifications.

I got an A, six B's, one
C. Just for starters.

You know nothing about me!

Oh-- Belle's gone.

Nip down while
you're in [inaudible]

to sling a few pints of beer.

Two for yourself.

Here, stick your head back.

Ah!

Don't rub 'em.

Just blink.

Here.

Throw that on your eyes.

Straight off, you and Mandy.

Way sharper than average.

Hello

Yeah, well, I'm
guessing neither of you

got an A in maths.

There's no way you can
afford to live as a family.

Not in Nottingham,
or anywhere else.

How much is your
family costing you now?

Every Thursday I
shove Mandy 50 quid

for hers and Katie's meals.

It's tough sometimes,
but we've stuck to it.

Proved that we can do it.

Every penny.

Bam.

Anything spare,
whacked in post office

for when Katie's old enough
to blow it on parties, or--

or benders, or whatever.

Imagine that, eh?

When that happens, it's
gonna freak me out.

Mandy gets subbed two
a week from your dad.

She fuck-- who's
told you that?

You see, that's
Paddy having you on.

Because I'm covering everything.

200?

Since when?

So what's-- Where's my 50 going?

Lip's starting to guess
what nappies cost a week.

Average.

And what's routine output?

Five, six craps a day.

For six or seven
for just fluids.

Seven days a week.

Then food, clothes,
rent, utilities.

50 can't cover that lot, surely.

Great start, Mand.

If that's how you
meant to go on.

Back in your cage.

Cunt.

Why is it always me?

Why is it always me?

Why is it always me?

Because it is!

Cut the racket,
you dickless fuck.

What's your problem?

Actually, is there such
a thing as a problem?

Hm?

If you truly understand the
meaning of the word solution.

Three points for speeding
on Chadwick Green.

Aw!

[laughter] And why
isn't that funny?

In a post-morden thingy, huh?

Coming from the slowest fucking
organism on God's green earth.

You.

For speeding?

I've never even been
at Chadwick Green.

Jamie had it that weekend.

Boy.

What?

Why would Jamie be riding
your bike in Chadwick Green when

he's in Darbyshire with Karen?

Why did you do this, Mandy?

We needed the help.

But you had me thinking I
was supporting the both of us.

Bare faced fucking lies.

Do you even know what
this makes me feel like?

Oh, rejection so far, Mandy.

Not a bit bare faced.

Weeks acting depressed.

Me up till three writing
letters to the universities,

calling them all kinds of
twats for letting you down.

We swore-- both swore--

if we were going to do
this, we'd only do it--

Where's the ham and the soap?

If it helps out, we'll need it.

[inaudible].

- That is our backs.
- Eat it.

Never mind what that proves.

It's not even close to enough.

Believe what you want, prick.

The only thing that
proves without a doubt

is the most important
thing Lip needs

is what fucking Lip needs!

So see yourself out, prick.

[alarm]

Hey!

If you get a number
that isn't the square root

of an equational logarithm,
that's a forfeit, yeah?

Yes.

But if I get a dart
in the big circle Bunty,

you have to buy
me a drink, yeah?

Yes.

Yeah.

Oh!

Tough.

Industrial standard umbrellas.

Fixed--

Two.

60 quid cause of this muppet.

Will you shut up about
the fuckin' ticket?

I've told you it's
a technical error.

I'll ring him.
- I've tried.

16 times.

So I'll pay the fine.

Can we drop it?

Fine.

But that's me on
nine points now.

Another three, bye bye, license.

Then I'm stuffed.

No transport.

Yeah, thanks.

Big deal.

I can't manage
without me bike.

You don't go anywhere.

What the fuck's wrong
with everyone today?

What are you having
a go at me for?

Because you're always
winging about not getting laid.

So?

So you're not going to get
any cocking around here, are ya?

So?

Because you're
not getting mine.

So?
Who's asking?

So stop wasting life.

That's pointless
enough as it is.

And stop trying
to buy me drinks.

[splat]

[screaming]

Oh, come on, Bunty.

You're giving incest a
bad name, you dozy bitch.

Grab that first aid kit!

There but for the grace God.

Every one of us, you know?

He threw that.

I need an ambulance!

I think I'm gonna faint!

Oh, don't be so gay.

Well, stick a
pencil down his gob.

You know?

Or, um-- you know, a bunch
of keys down his kecks.

Well, tell him we need
some smelling salts.

Alternatively, tournaquet.

Finger.

How embarrassing is
that for a Maguire?

Jamie?

Jamie?

Ian!

Does that feel all right?

Lovely.

Paddy, what are you doing?

Karen, do you know that man?

Paddy, get off!

Paddy, get off!

Out!

Grave error, Karen,
taking me for an imbecile.

What have I said now?

Not enough for my liking.

Weekends away with my son--

where is it you two actually go?

Anderton Lodge weekends.

If you say so.

And who's he talking to there?

Anderton Lodge.

It's Jamie's probation
course, so he

deals with probation
course people,

community liaison coppers.

You know this, Paddy.

You OK?

Paddy, you're scaring me.

Ring the warden, ask
the staff, the police,

the probation officers.

Ask the police!

I did.

Indirectly.
- And?

- They corroborated.
- See?

So I'm asking her
again, our nearly

new Karen, what does she know
about Ronnie Cohen's death?

Him.

Why the fuck did Jamie
want 'em all dead?

One says suicide, the
other says accidental death.

I'm aware of that.

But if you know jack
shit, why provide

alibis for all three deaths?

Alibis?

We just went on a course.

So how the fuck's he near
Cohen's house the night

he died?

He wasn't, though.

Except he was.

Jimmy was clocked speeding
Chadwick Green two AM the night

he supposedly tucked up in
bed with you in Darbyshire.

[muffled shouting]

You do know.

Nothing.

But you do know
that I'm not loopy,

thinking what I'm thinking?

Thank you.

[music playing]

[music stops]

Actually, do you mind?

Helps me focus.

[music playing]

Cohen, Ahmed, Fawcett.

They'd agreed to
close you down, Dad.

Come again?

Last October, when
Cohen got paroled.

He persuaded them all to
put the reds together.

Regarding me?

To get you.

They were going to
move in on your patch.

Everybody I've ever
shared a cell with?

Aggressive envy's a
pulse of economics.

Envy's about wanting
what someone else has got.

Jealousy's about taking
it away from them.

Don't sell me [inaudible],,
you Open University prick.

These specimens were
total lightweights.

Worse than harmless.

Not if they joined forces.

There is no patch.

That's not my business model.

I'm in little patches.

Invisible patches.

Scattered patches
all over the shop.

Precisely engineered to prevent
the Fawcetts, Ahmeds, Cohens

getting the faintest whiff
of what makes Patrick Maguire

a man of his time.

These jokers-- they weren't
capable of joiing three dots,

you fucking barbarian.

No.

But our Fergal was
joining the dots for them.

Fergal was on Izzy
Ahmed's payroll.

So help me--

get out your butt again, and
I'll kick you right up there

with him to make apologies!

Profit

Only had been
since last September!

[gasping]

A villa in our Fergal's name.

Izzy bought him that
as a downpayment.

I heard whispers
from a new cellmate.

I couldn't get you involved.

You'd have waded in, and you'd
have whacked the lot of them.

No thought for consequences.

Life for murder.

And a pleasure.

Not for Mom.

Not for your family.

And especially not for me, who
was this close to a release

date.

That's why you suddenly
reversed your plea.

After 10 years denying it.

I needed parole because
you needed help.

I've helped.

Was it them fuckers
that whacked Fergal?

He was going to bottle it.

And they couldn't risk
him grassing to you.

Source for that.

The horse's mouth.

Felix Fawcett.

Just before he topped himself.

[screaming]

Good boy.

He didn't.

He's lying again because--
he couldn't have.

Anderton Lodge.

He'd never left my side.

Except for the last time.

I spiked your spliff with PVK.

We both smoked it.

I didn't inhale.

That's why I had massive
downers on Mondays.

JAMIE: I only did it so you
wouldn't know enough to get

into trouble, Karen.

I'm so sorry.

You're not the
only one, Paddy.

So what about your alibi?

Cops at Anderton Lodge.

And me.

What?

Plus me.

Your new Karen.

Who'd she'd agree to be
somebody's wife, as opposed

to only being some legal
loophole that says she can't

testify against her husband.

You will only marry
me for an alibi.

No.

Well, fuck the lot of you's.

It's all very well.

Same goes out the
back open miners.

Well, that's 70% of
our bleeding regulars.

You watch.

They'll stop us selling
lollipops to fat kids next.

All right, that is it!

[shouting]

Stop!

Get the police!

I think you'll find,
son, that bag is mine.

We need the police
for a mugging.

Carl?

Oh, shit.

Bleeding by the
time you get here.

I'm sorry, Yvonne.

I didn't know it were you.

Never mind it's me.

Yvonne!

Hello?

Yeah.

Can I have two
[inaudible],, please?

Uh, a lumpus and,
uh-- and some pies.

What?

Oh, I'm really sorry.

I've got you both on speed dial.

I must have pressed
the wrong number.

Hello?

Keys.

Get the car.

I needed the money.

If we all needed money that
badly, Carl, what kind of world

would we be living in, eh?

Got a couple of
quid for some smack?

Fuck off!

For what?

For what?

I've got a girl pregnant.

[sigh] How many times have I--

Are you out of
your bleeding head?

What have I always
told you about condoms?

Why do you think I don't make
anything on the mark up, Carl?

They're not luxuries.

You shouldn't even leave
the house without checking

there's one in your wallet.

Haven't I always said that?

I haven't got a wallet.

What's her name?

We need to talk
about this one, Carl.

Don't you be twatting him.
I need him alive.

He's going to be
working this off

in shop for a long, long time.

Need you, neither.

Can you nip home and
tell the kids where I am?

The kids are in the car.

Why?

What have you brought
them here for?

Because it's not
your house anymore.

Crawling with cops.

They've sealed it off.

Assets recovery agency.

No one's allowed in until
they've recovered all the money

your husband pilfered.

My husband?

Hey!

Get off!

I've worked for years for
everything in that house!

It's nowhere near fair!

It's nowhere near fair.

Services have
arranged emergency

housing for you and the kids.

[inaudible]

Half my family
still live there.

That's all right, then, innit?

[crying]

For what we are about to re--

How come you lot never
eat round at yours?

Cause he's put a nail
through a gas pipe.

Ah.

For what we are about to--

when?

January.

For what we are about--

but you've turned the gas off?

He did.

For what we are about
to receive, may the Lord

make us truly thankful--

Paddy?

Amen.

Where have you been?

What's wrong with
an April wedding

if we're claiming
to be renegades?

We are in April.

So we are.

Are you out of your
fucking mind, Paddy?

No.

Madam, actually, not.

I'm definitely not
out of my mind.

But madam, thank
you for the concern.

You'd best tell me what
the fuck's going on here!

I need this wedding signed
and sorted, like Saturday.

Or this world of ours goes
tits up forever, Mimi.

You know, we're
right to be scared.

Know why?

They're not children anymore.

This got left for you.

Oh!

Watch your step, mind.

How's it go in there?

The refurb?

Never knowingly,
and surprising.

Come and have a gander.

Or a goose, even.

Oh my god, Carl.

What have you done?

Need a tenner for the taxi.

Quick, before it's 11.

What have you done now,
you big daft [inaudible]??

New rule-- no stamping upstairs
when I'm working stuff out!

Tah-dah.

Oh, hello, yeah.

This is Norma Starkey speaking.
MAN: Yes, Norma?

I've got one of your people
sprucing up my Norma-mobile.

Could you just remind me what
that's costing me in total,

please?

MAN: 3,400, plus VAT.
- Thank you.

And, um, have you any idea
where I'm finding the money?

Carl, who have
you got pregnant?

These dreams-- a gimp.

The day he starts multiplying,
we all need to start

running and taking cover.

That's all, Lip?

Oh!

Carl?

So what's the secret
of your success, eh?

Lip Gallagher, loving the sound
of his own smart ass lies.

Stop!

Talking the talk about going
somewhere, and being somebody.

Being what?

What?

When you got Mandy pregnant,
the only person you talked about

were you.

I'd pay anything
not to be like you.

Having to pay for an abortion
so I don't end up like you.

Because the first
time we have kids,

I want to be the furthest--

the absolute fucking
furthest I could from looking

anything like people like you.

Who is it, Carl?

Carl, who is it?

I can't help you if I
don't know the facts.

The facts are nobody
else's business.

Oh, only me.

We're busy.

Debbie, Yvonne's downstairs.

Says she wants to see you.

She knows.

For fuck's sake, she knows.

It's Meena?

Carl, swear it's not Meena.

Yvonne's Meena?

VOICEMAIL: Hi, it's Karen.

Leave a message.

Maybe she's gone
down to her mother's?

Frank might have an address.

When your dad got
paroled from Wandsworth

I said if it's taught
you nothing else,

you know how to make
a decent bed, mister.

It will sort itself out.

We'll find her.

Hero.

Big favor, Debs.

We need somewhere to live.

Of course.

We can make some
room for a few days.

I don't need border lodgings.

I've been up for [inaudible].

I've agreed a price
the next start.

Just need help with a
bed until it gets sorted.

Yvonne?

You can't live here.

I can live where I want
if I'm paying in cash, Carl.

Tell her.

Meena's pregnant.

To me.

In her dreams she's pregnant.

Last five lads she
tried this on with.

Eh?

How much did she ask you for?

500 by Friday.

What have I told you?

That is blackmail!

So you're not?

This isn't fair!

You spoil everything!

What did that
doctor say, Ches?

She needs her
medicine, Mrs. Karib.

The shrink we paid for.

Oh.

Two sessions a week.

She'll be right as
rain within a year.

Ah!

I don't think so, pal.

Cause you must have
got somewhere near

to think she were.

Never again.

Give it your word!

Right.

Lip.

It's Jamie.

Look, I'm sorry about what
happened, but I need a favor.

Do you know what time
it is, you mad twat?

Yeah, I know, mate.

I'm sorry, but I need an
address for Karen's mom.

Well, your dad must
know where she's living.

I'm not asking him now.

Just tell him I
wouldn't be waking him

up if it wasn't an emergency.

He's not asleep.

So So what's the problem?

Dad!

Dad!

- What?
- For you.

- Yeah?
- The phone.

For you.
- What?

Now?

Yeah?

JAMIE: I just need an address.

Or a landline number.

What?

For Sheila?

I'll give you the number.

The number this week
is pick as you wish.

With, uh-- it's
bohemian [inaudible]..

Tons of people
showing their snatch

on prime time television!

[inaudible], mate.

What?

What's that?

Fuck's all the noise?

FRANK: Don't pull
out until I say so!

Sorry, Karen.

It's all mickeys.

I've never used one
of these before.

You need warning, though.

Some of this is going
to need details that you

won't like listening to.

But it's the only option I
have if it's the last chance

I get to clear my name with you.

Don't say you weren't warned.

Forever our child,
forever our keeper.

God owes you one.

Night night.

And how long can I work there
without applying for a permit

officially?

Well, for the
first three months--

sorry, what are you doing?

You can't go in there!

Do one!

If I could just get
your credit card number,

we'll be getting on
with the booking, madam.

Fact, we haven't hit it off.

I bet you think I
don't like women.

I'm more used to boys.

Easier to please.

Less imagination.

A few days around
yours, I felt great.

Only child.

Middle of a massive family.

Maybe.

Or twigging them
further up the barrel

than I ever thought possible.

You don't need a wedding
to stop me grassing on him.

I honestly couldn't be fucked.

Life's too short, Mimi.

And hey-- so are you.

Height's no advantage if your
brain's anorexic, Tinker Bell.

Like the eternity ring,
Karen, this is yours forever

to do with what you want.

So long as you know it
proves beyond doubt that I

didn't need you as an alibi.

I asked you to marry me
because you're the only woman

I couldn't be without.

I murdered all three of them.

I'm not proud of that by any
means, but they deserved it,

and I'll do it again under
the same circumstances.

Obviously I'll never--

Jesus, Mimi.

If this gets out, they'll
bang him up for good.

Up the barrel to you?

Guard it with his life.

20 million women-- name
one with vows like yours.

That's why boys make
good company, Karen.

Mine, anyway.

It's miles to my
school from here.

Mine's nearer.

Longer in bed.

I can't afford school
fees and private shrinks.

I've got you both into
Chatsworth High School.

Mom!

No, Mom, you can't.

I'm not going there!

[bell ringing]

You were fucked up
enough with person!

I told you!

50p for a cup of tea, mister?

Get back in your car, or
you're going home in a coffin.

Heard you landed this place.

Brought you this.

So So is that the thing?

That our family's out
on the street, and bring

'em a plant to look after?

Nobody enjoys
repossessing houses.

Well, don't
fucking do it, then.

What do you think, Norma?

For once in my
life, I actually feel

like I got me money's worth!

Oh ho ho!

Oh, better make that
twice in me life.

Aw.

It's a happening
thing in [inaudible]..

Yeah?

Ugh.

Full on gays kissing?

What's going on?

- We're off.
- Dad!

You're not going for good?

Well, it was your
idea, buddy boy.

I said pretend
you're going somewhere.

How's it going?

I didn't mean you should
actually go to Texas.

Fuck's sake, Norma.

Bye!

You can't leave!

Since when did my house
become a refugee camp?

Since you moved
into the Jockey

and stopped paying us rent.

And I had to
cover it, Margaret.

And if Carl asks very
nicely, in her do,

you might get a lift back
to the pub with ease.

Over-educated pikeys.

A working class variant
long towards as two faced,

junked up cunts.

No abbreviation available.

Sorry.

Billions of taxpayers' money
persuading scabby little

know alls that they can
be anything they want.

You know, that there's a
place for them at the top

if they work twice as
hard as the semi-detached.

Sinkers with nets
and, social workers

turning into
captains of industry,

members of parliament.

Teachers, lawyers,
doctors, and-- you know,

fucking-- them lot-- thingies.

We know it's meant to work.

Float to the top, sending
privileges downstream to us.

Well, name one [inaudible].

They're laughing at us.

It is our fucking infections.

Us.

You know, the hands
that fed them.

Us, the ones that taught
them everything they know.

Crossing the I's,
dropping the E's.

You know, and so forth.

Hey!

Uh-- exhibit A. Poor
old fucking-- what's it?

Eugene!

Double shift every
day for 10 years

so that Christabel
could train as a lawyer.

What thanks does she give him?

Uh, hello?

Seven year sentence for
fiddling with her yonks back.

But yonks back?

Hey.

Suggestion box-- leave
the pikeys with us.

Spend some of the
savings on welfare,

and hold a few bob for,
you know, consequences.

Redundancies.

Diet, civil
disorders, et cetera.

Job done.

Tick.

Over and out.

Where's your cushion
again, Sally?

Shift your seat,
please, Frank.

Cause these should
be in the freezer.

You buying us a
drink, bow selector?

Get lost.

Get fucked, then.

Shan't.

NORMA: Bloody hell, mum,
what have you got in here?

Just a few bikinis, and that.

NORMA: Oh, man, it's
Texas, not Tel Aviv.

I know, but it's gonna be hot.

NORMA: Bloody hell.

Ignore my finger.

MONICA: You like it when
I'm all tan, don't ya?

And oily.

What's this?

NORMA: Well, hang on.
Hang on, actually.

Did you manage to--

[gasp] - How many sides
can a love triangle have?

First you're cold,
you're heartless,

you're smelly, and
then suddenly--

sappy.

Gradually building
up your strength

to win your girl back again.

Well, lezzies or not, you're
just showing yourselves all--

you know.

Come on!

Inside.

Get changed into
penis based clobber.

And we can [inaudible]
the shit loads

of [inaudible], fair lady.

Oh, it's all right, Norm.

I mean, if we set off now,
we'd only hit the traffic.

Why don't you go
to the pub with us?

You'll be a laugh.

[laughter]

[clicking]

[laughter]

[bell ringing]

(SINGING) We've gone so far,
and we've reached so high.

And we've looked each
day and night in the eye.

And we're still so young.

And we hope for more.

We've come a
long way, but we're

not too sure where we've been.

We've had success.

We've had good times.

But remember this.

Being on this platform
of life for so long.

Feel I've walked
a thousand miles.

Sometimes stroll hand
in hand with love.

Everybody's been there.

With pleasure on
my mind, I would

stand on the line of hope.

And I knew I could make it.

Yes, I knew the boundaries.

I looked into the
clouds as though my

face in the moonlight.

Just when I realized what a fool
I could be-- just as I looked--

[phone ringing]

(SINGING) Finding
paradise wasn't easy,

but still, there's
a war going down

the other side of this hill.

Never forget where
you've come in from.

Never pretend that
it's all real.

Someday soon this will all
be someone else's dream.

This will be someone
else's dream.

Never.

Everybody sing.

Oh, baby.

Never.

No, never.

Never forget.

Come on.

Everybody, everybody.

Everybody, everybody.

Everybody.

[applause]

(SINGING) Never forget
where you've come in from.

Never pretend that
it's all real.

Someday soon this will all
be someone else's dream.

This will be someone
else's dream.

We've come so far, and
we've reached so high.

And we've looked each
day and night in the eye.

Oi, sunrise.

Oi, sunrise.

[mumbling]

[theme music]

Only snag remaining--
these devil's dildos.

Have you a tonic of any
description to stop me doing--

that-- to passing strangers?

Hey, sleep on that one.

Lighten up a bit.

You look fucked, if I may say.

Grab 40 winks during
the fire drill.

[alarm]