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{\an1}SHE GASPS
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Whuhh!
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{\an1}HORN
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Arghh!
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Ahh!
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Wheeh!
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{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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Hello! Thank you
and welcome to the show!
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Taskmaster - a competition of wit,
bravery and of quick thinking.
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00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:45,860
A contest where the agile
and the nimble come out on top,
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00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:49,020
a celebration of artistic flair,
strength and determination
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until these five people came along!
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00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:54,180
Please welcome Iain Stirling!
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{\an1}CHEERING
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Joe Thomas!
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Lou Sanders!
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00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,500
Paul Sinha!
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00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:03,620
And Sian Gibson!
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00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,620
And on the much smaller throne
to my left
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is a man who still comes to work
with his sandwiches cut into fingers
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00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:14,380
because he thinks
they "taste better".
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It's... (FALSETTO)
..little Alex Horne!
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Hi.
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00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:25,820
Hello. Very good. Yes.
You all right?
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Yes.
This is your section. You lead it.
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Well, I've designed a game for all
the listeners at home today. Yep.
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Uh, it's a game called
One Number Bingo.
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So if you could all write down one
number between one and a million.
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Uh, ideally all different numbers
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because we don't want
more than one winner.
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So look at your number.
I'm pulling out the number now.
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It's all the twos - 20.
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OK? So if that was your number,
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then you've won.
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Right. On with the show.
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00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:01,580
What's the, er, prize task?
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00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:04,620
Well, this week we've asked
the contestants to bring in
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the nicest thing... to hold.
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Mmm. Yes.
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00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:12,820
Greg's going to judge which he
thinks is the nicest thing to hold
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00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:15,060
and give five points
to the person that brought it in.
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00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,580
At the end of tonight's proceedings,
the overall winner
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will carry five things home and have
a thoroughly nice time in doing so.
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Iain, what have you brought in?
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£200 in cold, hard cash.
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There it is.
You can hold it,
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you can buy things with it,
you can throw it up in the air,
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pretend you're in The Crystal Maze.
OK.
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A money clip makes me feel like
I'm a bit "Yeah, awright?"
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"Yeah, go on.
Come here, sweetheart, go on..."
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"Yeah..." "You have whatever you
want, up to the value of 200 pand."
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"Ooh, that does feel nice."
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It's a start. Sian, what have you
brought that's nice for me to hold?
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Me!
Aww!
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Well, I haven't brought me.
Well, I am here,
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but I can't give someone me
to take home,
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so I've made a me
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because I've been told
I give good hugs.
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OK.
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{\an3}There she is. There we go.
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So it's one of those pillows
that you can spoon.
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It's like your secret sister
that's not allowed to come out.
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It's got my head, my perfume
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and you can spoon me.
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Sian, it's strong.
This is a strong opening.
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00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:24,180
Hopefully someone's going
to disappoint us soon. Joe.
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00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:26,420
What have you brought
that's nice to hold?
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00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,420
One of the things you can hold
is a note.
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00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,780
Like... Like a pound note or...
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No, a musical... musical note
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and I think
the most famously held note
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is when Pavarotti
sings the word "vincero"
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from Nessun Dorma by Puccini.
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{\an3}He's provided it
on a cassette obviously, so...
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{\an3}Erm, if you win the episode,
you will win that cassette
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and that cassette player
and you will hear this noise.
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"# Ce-e-e-e..."
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OK? Not a bad prize.
Why wouldn't you want that?
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00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,460
I think that's nice, a bit
of lateral thinking. Thank you.
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00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,660
Erm, Lou.
What's the best thing to hold?
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00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:11,460
I would say hope.
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00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:15,260
Have you brought
the concept of hope as a prize?
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00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,020
Well,
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00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,700
the second best thing to hold...
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00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:22,340
is a dolphin.
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But I've brought
a dolphin excursion,
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but, because it's ethical,
they might not be there.
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00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:34,220
Because...
Oh, they're not captive dolphins.
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00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:37,780
They might not be around that day,
so that's where the hope comes in.
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00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:40,540
So I've brought you
dolphins plus hope.
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{\an3}In the form of a voucher.
Here it is.
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00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,420
There.
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00:04:45,460 --> 00:04:48,260
I don't know if I want
to hold a dolphin.
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They're quite sexually aggressive
is my understanding.
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Exactly!
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00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,540
Like a lot of people's
bucket list...
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Yeah, when they're about to die.
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00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,340
We're all going to die,
let's face it,
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00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:07,300
but that's where the hope comes in.
What I don't want is to die
100
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,100
at the...
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00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,900
I was going to say "hands"!
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00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:15,020
At the flippers of the relentless
penis of a male dolphin...
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00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:19,820
..that's been hammering away at me
like some aquatic sewing machine.
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00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:27,260
You're so arrogant that you think
the dolphin's going to fancy you!
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00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,500
Shut up! Have a look!
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00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:33,020
I'm coming along! He's going
to be clicking all over me.
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00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:41,020
Paul.
So this dates to 1983
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00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:43,940
and it is
the chess-tournament trophy
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for Dulwich College
Preparatory School.
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00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:49,660
It's a little bit on the rusty side,
but it's my proudest possession
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00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,740
and I hold it all the time.
Aww.
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00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,100
And the reason I hold it
all the time... Ohh.
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00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:56,140
..is all these recordings
of Taskmaster
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00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,740
have utterly crushed my spirit.
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00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:01,500
I had no idea until I did Taskmaster
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00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:04,140
that I was actually
as thick as pigshit.
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00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:07,780
Because the recollection I have
is of a 13-year-old teenager
118
00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:11,740
winning his school chess
championships for the third time,
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00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:14,540
bringing it home to my dad,
saying "Because I won it,
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00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,860
"like Brazil in 1970,
they let me keep the trophy."
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00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:20,780
And the reason you'd really like
to hold it, Greg,
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00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:24,220
is the thrill that it's stolen goods
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because when I said to my dad
"They let me keep it",
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I was lying.
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{\an1}APPLAUSE
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Powerful stuff, Greg.
It's all powerful stuff.
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00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:44,420
OK. The thing I want to hold most -
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00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:47,060
and it genuinely almost
brought a tear to my eye -
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00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,380
for some reason,
it's Paul's stolen trophy.
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00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,660
That's the thing I want to hold.
131
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,500
Five points to Paul Sinha.
132
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:58,300
Then I want to sit in a room
with white walls,
133
00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:00,340
just listening to Joe's note.
134
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:02,540
OK, four points to Joe.
That's right.
135
00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:05,660
Sian, I'm going to give you
a lovely three-point hug.
136
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,820
Ahh.
OK, so three points to Sian.
137
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,860
Three points to Sian.
OK.
138
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:13,820
Three points for a bit of cold, hard
cash. Joint third, Iain and Sian.
139
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:16,820
That's right. And two points
for Lou's lovely dolphin
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00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:20,100
that I may or may not
get to have a lovely cuddle with.
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00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:25,260
Very good. Prize task - tick.
Next task, please. Sure.
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00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,460
And this has something for everyone,
by which I mean air, sand,
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00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:32,940
a big dice, a tray, art and
series one to seven of Taskmaster.
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00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,420
Welcome.
Hello.
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00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:51,100
Oh, God, this is going to be hard,
I can tell.
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00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:53,060
"Make the best picture in the sand
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00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,540
"of a former Taskmask-e-ter..."
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00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,780
"Taskmask..." What's this show
called? Taskmaster.
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00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,540
"..Taskmaster contestant..."
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00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:03,140
"Using one of these implements."
Up here on the table.
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00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:07,220
There they are. "You must roll
the dice to choose your implement."
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00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:11,460
"Nothing but air may touch the sand
at any point."
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00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,260
What?! Nothing but air? Oh, OK.
154
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:16,300
"You have ten minutes.
Your time starts
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00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:18,500
"as soon as you have rolled
the dice."
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00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,540
Ok, so we want to get someone
who's a good caricature.
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00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:24,780
Funny old face.
Or a big, fat one or something.
158
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:27,540
Can you say that these days?
159
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,860
They're all sort of
mixed blessing really.
160
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:33,540
It's like a sort of metaphor for
just life and the future, isn't it?
161
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,540
Just... Could be different,
but all shit. Erm...
162
00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:40,140
Four. Hohh!
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00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,300
Hnng! Oh, I think it's that.
164
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:46,260
It's a six.
That's the long horn.
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00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,860
That's the horn.
Yeah, the worst of all. Erm...
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00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:51,860
Thrown a two.
167
00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:55,740
{\an1}DEVICE BUZZES
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Great!
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00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:00,860
That's a good one.
170
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,620
Six.
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00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,820
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, dear.
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00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,780
Nice that in this episode
Joe finally works out
173
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:18,940
that this entire show is a metaphor
for how shit life is!
174
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,620
Good. OK. This is all of them
doing it together.
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00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,220
Right.
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00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,180
Here we go. Ready?
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00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,820
Well, this is just stupid.
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00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,180
{\an1}BREATHY NOTE
179
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Whoo-oo!
180
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:35,100
Oh, here we go.
181
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:37,140
That's actually
a lovely bit of business.
182
00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:38,340
{\an1}BREATHY NOTE
183
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:41,940
Can I ask you what
the state capital of Alabama is?
184
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:44,300
It's Montgomery?
OK.
185
00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:46,020
{\an1}DEVICE BUZZES
186
00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:49,300
It's quite hard because
it's just a load of holes.
187
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:54,220
Oh, my God. I'm out of breath.
188
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,380
"You must roll the dice
to choose your implement."
189
00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:59,740
But can I use one of the others?
Doesn't say I can't.
190
00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:02,620
Paul, do you know
the state capital of Arkansas?
191
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,620
Little Rock.
192
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:06,820
I can roll the dice again?
Mm.
193
00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:08,420
Ohh.
194
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:11,780
What are you trying to roll?
A two.
195
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,980
Do you know the state capital
of Kansas?
196
00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:16,100
Topeka.
197
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,420
Two!
You got a two, did you?
198
00:10:20,460 --> 00:10:22,980
Yeah.
DEVICE BUZZES
199
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,860
My back's gone.
200
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,740
This is harder that it looks.
201
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:30,900
Up a bit. Right, right.
202
00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:34,260
Literally right there.
Oh. Uhh...
203
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,220
{\an1}SHE SIGHS
204
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:39,460
{\an1}DEVICE BUZZES THEN STOPS
205
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,380
Not going to bugger it up
any more than I have to.
206
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:44,020
Wow.
Thank you, Lou.
207
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,020
Thank you. Bye.
208
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:55,540
Good. So they've done sand art
of former contestants
209
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:58,100
and you're going to have to guess
who the contestant is. Good.
210
00:10:58,140 --> 00:11:00,860
{\an3}We're going to start off with
Joe's attempt with the long horn.
211
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,260
See who you think this is.
212
00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:10,140
This is someone who's previously
been on Taskmaster?
213
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,580
Yes, yes.
214
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:15,140
Well, it's obvious, isn't it?
215
00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:18,460
That series where we had
the old Chinese guy.
216
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:24,380
Joe said it won't be necessary
to tell you who it is
217
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:26,340
and he said also
218
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:29,220
"SHE..."
219
00:11:29,260 --> 00:11:31,180
Christ!
220
00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:34,060
{\an3}And "It doesn't get much better.
Looks like a lovable pooch."
221
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,220
In the picture.
In the picture.
222
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:40,060
The more I stare at it,
it looks like Predator.
223
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,380
I haven't got a clue who it is.
224
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:44,500
It's Jessica Knappett!
225
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:51,180
It's really, really, really hard
to get anything done.
226
00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:54,980
I mean, even to get that
was really hard.
227
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:57,020
Oh, fine. Five points, then.
228
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:02,220
Right. Would you like to do this
link to break, Alex? Yes, please.
229
00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,700
Well, you can't!
It's the end of part one.
230
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,620
See you back here very soon.
231
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,900
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING
232
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,900
{\an4}WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
233
00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:20,260
Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster!
234
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,740
Humour me, Alex. Tell me
what was going on before the break,
235
00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:26,300
like I don't know.
Sure. Well, Greg, before the break,
236
00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:28,700
they were trying to use
one of the instruments provided
237
00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:33,020
to blow a portrait of a former
Taskmaster contestant into sand.
238
00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:36,260
{\an3}Next it's Lou. Who is this?
239
00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:49,580
Is it Phil Wang?
It is Phil Wang.
240
00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:51,620
Yes, it is Phil Wang.
241
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:54,140
We've only had one Phil
on the show, right? Yes.
242
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:57,900
Nice excuse to draw a picture
of a wang!
243
00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,420
{\an3}She kept throwing the dice till
she got the implement she wanted,
244
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,980
{\an3}which wasn't technically
against any rules.
245
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:06,300
Good. Now, here's a sentence
I didn't think I'd be saying -
246
00:13:06,340 --> 00:13:09,540
I'm disappointed by the "Phil",
but I love the wang.
247
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:15,460
Do you want to see
Sian's pan-piped attempt?
248
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:27,020
When did we have that guy on
with, erm,...
249
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:29,540
the burglar's mask
250
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,700
and one giant tooth
251
00:13:31,740 --> 00:13:34,100
in the centre of their mouth?
252
00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:36,700
It's a beard actually.
A beard with a mouth hole.
253
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:38,820
I think it's, erm,
254
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,820
Joe Wilkinson.
255
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,660
It is! Er, no, it's Romesh.
256
00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:48,020
Romesh Ranganathan there.
Of course it is.
257
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:51,780
So tricky because you make one hole
and another one closes.
258
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:54,780
Yeah...
Exactly. It's a metaphor for life.
259
00:13:54,820 --> 00:13:56,580
It's a metaphor for life.
260
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,980
That is, I mean, so rubbish.
261
00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:01,860
Paul was slightly luckier
with this throw. Pfff...
262
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,180
Paul got a barbecue blower,
electronic device.
263
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:05,900
And he created this.
264
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,860
Oh!
265
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:10,740
Mm. Now, I actually think
that is Romesh.
266
00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:14,300
{\an3}Well, you're absolutely right.
It is Romesh.
267
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,980
You missed a few details out.
268
00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:22,180
The ears...
269
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:25,900
and his teeth hanging from
his beard. But apart from that...
270
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,380
Who's next?
Er, one person left
271
00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:31,660
and he's an artist.
Well, a voiceover artist mainly.
272
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,860
It's Iain Stirling's attempt.
273
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,740
{\an1}SURPRISED MUTTERING AND LAUGHTER
274
00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,260
Mm.
275
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:40,460
First of all, it's a lovely drawing.
Thank you very much. You're welcome.
276
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,300
I think I know who it is,
277
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:45,580
but I also think what I'm about to
say might be incredibly insulting...
278
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:49,460
{\an1}I'm worried you might say
who I tried.
279
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:53,100
I should say it started off a man
and became a woman halfway through.
280
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,500
I think it's, erm, Sally Phillips.
281
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:58,780
It is Sally Phillips.
Yeah!
282
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,860
{\an3}It is Sally Phillips.
283
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,700
It was meant to be Nish Kumar.
284
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:10,220
Can we see all of them?
There they are. That should help.
285
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:15,060
OK, I'm going to give Sian
one point.
286
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:18,060
It's so shit!
287
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:21,620
I'm going to give Joe and Lou
two points...
288
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:23,900
Fuck off!
289
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:27,020
Honestly, I can't
actually believe this.
290
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,900
You've written "Phil"!
291
00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:34,700
So two to Joe, two to Lou.
Two to Lou.
292
00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:37,340
It's obviously a toss-up
between Iain and Paul's.
293
00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:39,980
I'm going to say that
Sally Phillips takes it.
294
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,260
Iain five points
and Paul four points.
295
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,380
There we go,
Iain Stirling gets five points!
296
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:49,620
So he's yet to win an episode, he's
the only one who hasn't won one,
297
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:53,140
but Paul is in the lead
with nine points! Oh, at last!
298
00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,140
At last!
299
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,380
{\an1}Yes, Paul!
300
00:15:57,420 --> 00:16:00,820
In the series, Paul is now on 96,
301
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,740
{\an3}then Iain 109, Sian 100. Tight.
302
00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:08,060
Joe 121,
but Lou is in the lead with 124!
303
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,580
Ooh.
Three points in it.
304
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,780
Get in.
305
00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:17,980
What's next? I've got tons of balls
for you. Here we go.
306
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:31,740
Where we going?
307
00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:34,700
Hello, team.
Hello, Alex.
308
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:40,460
"Catch all the red balls..."
309
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,100
"..in things from the shed."
310
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:44,940
"Catch the yellow balls
in clothing."
311
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:46,420
What?
312
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:49,940
"Don't let the green balls touch
anything other than the grass."
313
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,740
"Catch the blue ball
in something from the kitchen."
314
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,420
"Red balls are worth one point..."
315
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:56,260
"Yellows two."
316
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,060
"The blue is worth five."
317
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,460
"But you lose two points
for every green ball
318
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,620
"that touches anything
other than the grass."
319
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:05,940
"You may not touch
the ball machines."
320
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,500
"Any non-green ball
that touches the ground at any point
321
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:10,220
"will not count."
322
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,260
"Highest score wins."
323
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:15,780
"The balls will start firing..."
324
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:18,420
"..in two minutes from now"?!
Oh, my God, right.
325
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:21,540
OK, you find something from the
kitchen to catch the blue ball in.
326
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:23,860
I'll get something from the shed
to catch the red balls in.
327
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:27,140
Shall I do blue and green and you do
yellow and red? Yeah, perfect.
328
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,900
There's three colours of balls,
329
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:31,740
so Paul, get something
from the shed, you're on red balls.
330
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:34,700
Clothing - yellow balls. I'll go
to the kitchen. What am I on?
331
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:36,740
An item of clothing,
you can use anything.
332
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,900
I know, but I'm getting something
from the... the shed.
333
00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:42,220
Shed. Er...
334
00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:44,500
That's fine.
335
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:53,140
Where's that hat?
Oh, I don't know. Ahh...
336
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,300
Where are the ball machines?
337
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,420
They could be anywhere.
338
00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:07,740
I thought we were going to see the
return of bossy-boots Iain then.
339
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:11,100
Ohh... I hate myself.
340
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:13,780
You don't like bossy-boots Iain,
watching him back, do you?
341
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,500
Just shouted at a woman
and then ran into the kitchen.
342
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:21,500
At least you didn't walk
into a shed and come out
343
00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:23,900
looking baffled
with a washing-up bowl.
344
00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:27,060
We're going to start with the other
team. Sian and Joe giving it a go.
345
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,700
Dream team.
346
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,380
Bucket. Well, I've got...
Actually there's that as well.
347
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:33,260
That's... That's quite good.
348
00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,100
That's an option as well.
349
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:38,500
I mean, that's not...
It's no better than that really.
350
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,500
Right, hang on.
Uhh!
351
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,460
Oh, my God! Right, hang on...
352
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,380
A blue! A blue, green...
Red balls, shed.
353
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,820
Yellow balls, clothing. Right.
354
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,540
Ahh!
355
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:52,780
Well done!
356
00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:54,860
I can't even see blue.
357
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,900
Grass...
SHE SCREAMS
358
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:58,540
Oh, God!
359
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:02,020
SHE SHRIEKS
Green, yellow, yellow...
360
00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:04,100
The clothing is shit.
361
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:05,700
Ahhh!
362
00:19:05,740 --> 00:19:08,020
Oh, the yellows are impossible.
363
00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:10,140
Wahh!
No!
364
00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:11,980
Oh, no...
365
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,700
No!
366
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,740
Oh, God. Right...
367
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:18,260
I've not seen a blue ball.
368
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,100
There's green!
369
00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:22,060
Yellow! Nearly.
370
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,660
Green...
371
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,020
No! Yellow...
372
00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:29,260
OK.
Ow.
373
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,940
That was the blue.
Oh, no!
374
00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:35,300
AUDIENCE: Oohh!
375
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:39,580
I'm just going to stand here
and hope.
376
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,220
{\an1}HE SIGHS
377
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:55,100
Ow!
378
00:19:57,140 --> 00:20:00,380
Use this shoe because that's red.
Get the reds in there.
379
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:02,940
Have you got your system sorted now?
Yes.
380
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:05,340
I'll look this way,
you look that way.
381
00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:20,220
Well,...
382
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,940
quite a contrast within the team.
383
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,260
Sian,
384
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,700
I don't think you did anything.
385
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,260
I was on blue-ball duty...
Blue ball, which you missed.
386
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:35,100
It did say "Catch THE blue ball
in something from the kitchen",
387
00:20:35,140 --> 00:20:37,660
so you held up a hat and a pan.
388
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,700
{\an1}The initial way we divided it up
was I'd do red and yellow
389
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,740
{\an1}and Sian would do blue and green.
390
00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:46,140
{\an1}The only job of the green
was to let them hit the ground...
391
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:50,500
{\an1}Sian did well on the green duty.
Yeah...
392
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:53,540
Well, she caught three yellows
in the right thing,
393
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:56,860
er, but she also touched
or was struck by several greens.
394
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,940
Her total was minus 12 points.
395
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:01,220
Minus?!
396
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,540
Er, Joe was a sort of ball magnet.
397
00:21:03,580 --> 00:21:06,580
He was hit by red five times,
hit by yellow 11 times,
398
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:08,820
hit by green 15 times.
Yeah.
399
00:21:08,860 --> 00:21:11,260
Minus 30 for the greens,
but he also caught eight red,
400
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,420
caught nine yellow
in the correct things,
401
00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:17,340
so he added four points, so they get
altogether minus eight points.
402
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:23,260
It was hard.
No, it was... it was hard.
403
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:26,380
Let's all stop and have a little
rest. See you in a few minutes.
404
00:21:26,420 --> 00:21:28,420
{\an1}WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
405
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:35,620
{\an4}APPLAUSE
406
00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:38,380
Hello! Thank you.
407
00:21:38,420 --> 00:21:41,460
How pleasant it is to have you
back with us. Little Alex Horne,
408
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,500
please remind us of the rules
of the current complicated task.
409
00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:46,300
Yes, the rules are simple really.
410
00:21:46,340 --> 00:21:48,380
Catch all the red balls
in something from the shed,
411
00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:50,420
catch the yellows
in an article of clothing,
412
00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:53,780
if the greens touch anything but the
grass, you lose two points for each.
413
00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:55,820
Catch the blue ball
in something from the kitchen,
414
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:58,660
red balls are worth one point,
yellows two, the blue five. OK?
415
00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:02,780
Yep. Good. Here's the team of three
- Lou, Paul and Iain.
416
00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:05,460
The green balls must touch grass,
so maybe it's here, then.
417
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,620
No, the green balls
are not allowed to touch grass.
418
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:11,100
The green balls aren't allowed
to touch grass? We...
419
00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:13,940
"Don't let the green balls touch
anything other than the grass."
420
00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:16,740
This is like... Oh, wait!
421
00:22:16,780 --> 00:22:19,420
Shit!
What colour am I catching?!
422
00:22:19,460 --> 00:22:22,540
I'm getting blue! I'm getting blue!
423
00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:24,460
Shit... Yellow, yellow!
424
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,340
Quick, catch something,
for Christ's sake!
425
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:28,940
What the fuck...
426
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,900
Yellow!
427
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:33,460
Green!
428
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,180
This is...
429
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:36,820
Green...
430
00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:39,020
Green is grass, green is grass!
431
00:22:39,060 --> 00:22:41,380
Switch!
432
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:43,300
This isn't working.
433
00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:45,540
Yes! Mummy!
434
00:22:45,580 --> 00:22:48,060
There's literally no blue balls.
435
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:50,020
"The blue ball."
436
00:22:51,420 --> 00:22:53,460
Where is it?
437
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,500
Wahh!
Who's red?
438
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,540
I want that blue ball.
439
00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:00,460
Ahh!
440
00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:05,660
Stop catching the green ones,
they've got to hit the grass.
441
00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,580
Blue! Yesss!
442
00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:10,220
Whoa!
443
00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:11,420
Blue!
444
00:23:11,460 --> 00:23:14,140
Blue!
Blue!
445
00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:16,300
What just happened?!
446
00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:18,140
Mummy!
447
00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:20,580
Red! Get it, Paul. Get it, Paul.
448
00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:24,340
Ohh... That's for me!
449
00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:26,300
Yellow!
450
00:23:29,780 --> 00:23:31,580
I got one!
451
00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:36,060
I got... I got...
452
00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:38,220
Eh? What happened there?
453
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:43,140
Got to pass some of them.
454
00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:48,100
I appear to have caught two
by accident. Thank you, team.
455
00:23:49,540 --> 00:23:51,340
{\an1}AUDIENCE CHEERS
456
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:59,260
Erm, Lou, something we haven't
got into previously this series,
457
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:02,060
but something... a battle cry
that you've used throughout
458
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,660
is "Mummy"!
459
00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:06,940
Do you use "Mummy!" a lot?
460
00:24:06,980 --> 00:24:09,700
I think I'm going to stop
now I've seen it.
461
00:24:11,060 --> 00:24:13,060
That technique worked well.
It did work well.
462
00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:15,980
Lou was a productive member
of the team. She caught six yellows,
463
00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:18,580
which means plus 12.
She touched four green,
464
00:24:18,620 --> 00:24:22,700
but she adds four points
to the team total. Well, lovely.
465
00:24:22,740 --> 00:24:25,580
Iain caught the blue ball
for five points. Iain, I mean...
466
00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:28,420
The blue ball -
and the celebration entirely valid.
467
00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:31,500
Yeah. I think
about seven green balls hit me
468
00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:34,500
as I was celebrating
getting five points.
469
00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:36,580
Did the blue ball pay dividends?
470
00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:38,740
Well, he also caught
four yellows correctly,
471
00:24:38,780 --> 00:24:42,580
touched nine greens,
so minus five for Iain.
472
00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:44,820
So the team are now on minus one.
Right.
473
00:24:44,860 --> 00:24:48,220
Remember they've got minus eight
to beat. Eight to beat.
474
00:24:48,260 --> 00:24:52,460
So it's Paul's contribution that's
going to matter. Come on, Paul.
475
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:55,460
He did touch a lot of greens,
they did strike him repeatedly
476
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:58,260
on his leg, then balls,
then thigh, belly, foot, tray,
477
00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:00,380
foot, foot, back.
19 balls altogether.
478
00:25:00,420 --> 00:25:02,900
With his catches,
he scored minus 26.
479
00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:05,580
{\an1}CHEERING
480
00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:08,060
That's a...
481
00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:15,460
{\an3}Yep. A total of minus 27
for their team.
482
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,540
Oh, dear.
483
00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:19,980
{\an3}Although there is one more thing
I could show you.
484
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:24,620
{\an3}It's just something I noticed
after the final ball was propelled.
485
00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:26,980
What am I like?
Ahh...
486
00:25:30,420 --> 00:25:33,220
AUDIENCE: Ohh!
487
00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:36,100
{\an1}Oh, my God!
488
00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:38,460
Just waiting now.
489
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:40,780
Ohh.
490
00:25:46,180 --> 00:25:49,340
Oh, I just dropped my hat.
That's a shame.
491
00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,420
Is that it?
492
00:25:57,460 --> 00:25:59,580
AUDIENCE: Ohh!
493
00:26:00,780 --> 00:26:02,860
{\an3}You OK?
494
00:26:02,900 --> 00:26:06,900
I feel like I've been
stabbed in the back! Mm.
495
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:09,300
Of all the people!
496
00:26:12,980 --> 00:26:15,460
I'm so sorry, Joe.
497
00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:19,340
{\an1}It's all right. You know,
we all do crazy things sometimes.
498
00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:23,180
I felt like I hadn't contributed
because of the blue ball...
499
00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:25,340
No, because you hadn't contributed.
500
00:26:27,860 --> 00:26:30,140
In Taskmaster history,
501
00:26:30,180 --> 00:26:32,260
we have, erm,...
502
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:34,820
never forgiven cheating.
503
00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:37,380
Was it cheating?
504
00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:43,820
I'm afraid cheating is rewarded
by disqualification, so...
505
00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:46,740
Not me, not Joe!
I'm afraid so.
506
00:26:46,780 --> 00:26:49,980
And that's something
you're going to have to live with.
507
00:26:50,020 --> 00:26:51,940
Mummy!
508
00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:56,260
So,...
509
00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:58,940
can I just... Can I confirm?
510
00:26:58,980 --> 00:27:01,220
Despite scoring minus 27,...
511
00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:03,860
Yeah. ..how many points
are the team of three getting?
512
00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,220
Well, they're going to get
all five points.
513
00:27:06,260 --> 00:27:08,820
{\an3}Right. Five points to Iain,
514
00:27:08,860 --> 00:27:10,860
{\an3}Lou and Paul Sinha!
515
00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:13,460
{\an1}Well done, Paul.
516
00:27:14,820 --> 00:27:17,140
Right. Come on,
let's have another task.
517
00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:19,620
You mean this sort of thing?
HE GASPS
518
00:27:23,460 --> 00:27:25,260
{\an1}CAWS
519
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:37,660
Hello!
Hello, Iain.
520
00:27:37,700 --> 00:27:40,060
A'right?
Pardon?
521
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,420
All... All right. All right.
522
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:44,060
All right?
All right.
523
00:27:44,100 --> 00:27:46,820
This is what I'm talking about.
524
00:27:46,860 --> 00:27:49,460
This looks ridiculous.
525
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:52,020
Yes.
SHE SIGHS
526
00:27:52,060 --> 00:27:55,260
"Make this beach ball
cross the finishing line."
527
00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:58,780
"Only water can touch
the beach ball."
528
00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:03,140
"Fastest wins.
Your time starts now."
529
00:28:03,180 --> 00:28:05,220
What are you talking about?
530
00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:08,420
"Only water can touch
the beach ball."
531
00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,300
Oh.
532
00:28:22,460 --> 00:28:25,300
Well? What WERE you talking about?
533
00:28:25,340 --> 00:28:28,020
He was very cross. You were
very cross about that, weren't you?
534
00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:30,020
Yes.
535
00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:35,820
Can we see some stuff? Yes, we're
going to see three of them race now.
536
00:28:35,860 --> 00:28:37,740
Iain, Sian and...
537
00:28:37,780 --> 00:28:39,860
J... J...
538
00:28:39,900 --> 00:28:41,980
Do you want to guess? J...
Joe?
539
00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:43,860
No. P... P... P...
540
00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:47,460
Paul?
Lou Sanders, here we go.
541
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:49,660
Obvious question -
is there a hosepipe?
542
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:51,780
Would you like me to get you
a hosepipe? Yes, please.
543
00:28:51,820 --> 00:28:53,860
Let's get a hose.
I'll get you a hose.
544
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,420
Get me a hose, then, yeah?
545
00:28:55,460 --> 00:28:57,780
Give me slack. Give me slack!
546
00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:00,180
Am I going?
HOSE HISSES
547
00:29:02,780 --> 00:29:04,420
Oh, dear.
548
00:29:04,460 --> 00:29:06,300
Ahh! Ahh!
549
00:29:06,340 --> 00:29:09,220
Uhh... Please may I have a bucket?
550
00:29:12,140 --> 00:29:13,980
It's going backwards!
551
00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:15,540
What are you looking for now?
A tap.
552
00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:18,020
Tap?
Yeah.
553
00:29:18,060 --> 00:29:20,620
'Only water...
554
00:29:20,660 --> 00:29:23,300
Is there another setting?
555
00:29:23,340 --> 00:29:25,460
Wait a minute.
556
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:26,900
There we go.
557
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:30,220
Ohh!
558
00:29:30,260 --> 00:29:32,380
Oh, yes, I'm on it!
559
00:29:37,180 --> 00:29:39,180
Well, sack that off.
560
00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:42,460
Doesn't have to go on the course,
just has to cross the finish line.
561
00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:45,620
Do you have a different hose end?
I think this might be a bit more...
562
00:29:45,660 --> 00:29:48,260
Ahh, mummy!
563
00:29:51,260 --> 00:29:53,260
Done it.
Thank you, Iain.
564
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:55,340
{\an1}Do you want to do it?
565
00:29:55,380 --> 00:29:57,300
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
566
00:30:00,940 --> 00:30:03,060
{\an3}Put it in the bucket...
567
00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:04,660
OK...
568
00:30:11,460 --> 00:30:13,260
Oh, I'm stuck.
569
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:15,580
Ooh, ooh, I'm away. I'm away.
570
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:19,340
{\an3}Ooh, dear.
571
00:30:22,340 --> 00:30:23,740
Mummy!
572
00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:26,220
Yes!
573
00:30:26,260 --> 00:30:27,540
Whoo!
574
00:30:40,660 --> 00:30:43,060
Only Iain worked out you didn't
have to follow the course.
575
00:30:43,100 --> 00:30:44,900
No, that was not within the rules.
576
00:30:44,940 --> 00:30:47,860
You just had to get it
across the finishing line. Ohh!
577
00:30:47,900 --> 00:30:49,140
Ahh...
578
00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:53,460
{\an1}To give you an idea how well
I feel this show has gone,
579
00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:55,860
{\an1}that's the best I think
I've ever done
580
00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:58,340
and I ran into the start line.
581
00:31:01,580 --> 00:31:05,300
Lou. Another "Mummy"
followed by, erm,
582
00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:09,460
making it look like you've got
a big dick between your...
583
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:12,220
Would you say
I was the full package?
584
00:31:13,260 --> 00:31:15,100
You really are quite the catch.
585
00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:18,460
Do you want to know the time?
Yes, please.
586
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:21,180
I've done it terms of,
if you boiled an egg for that long,
587
00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:23,660
what sort of an egg it would be.
Go on.
588
00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:25,580
Er, boiled.
589
00:31:25,620 --> 00:31:28,180
Boiled. But we've still got
a slightly runny yolk -
590
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:29,980
five minutes 37.
591
00:31:30,020 --> 00:31:32,900
Right. Sian - her technique
was similar to Lou.
592
00:31:32,940 --> 00:31:36,100
It was actually somehow slower,
so liquid yolk, but less oozy -
593
00:31:36,140 --> 00:31:37,660
six minutes 40.
594
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,940
Iain - cold egg - one minute 10!
595
00:31:39,980 --> 00:31:42,060
Whoa!
596
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:43,540
Whoa.
597
00:31:43,580 --> 00:31:45,580
Yes.
598
00:31:45,620 --> 00:31:48,020
Lovely. Who's next?
599
00:31:48,060 --> 00:31:50,820
If you've got to move an inflatable
ball, you'll ask for a hose,
600
00:31:50,860 --> 00:31:54,060
it's simple, really.
Anyway, here's Joe Thomas.
601
00:31:58,420 --> 00:32:00,100
Arghh!
602
00:32:00,140 --> 00:32:02,300
OK, that's all right.
603
00:32:05,820 --> 00:32:08,100
{\an1}WATER RUNS
604
00:32:26,860 --> 00:32:29,460
That was a bit over the top, sorry.
605
00:32:29,500 --> 00:32:32,020
Is that the finishing line?
606
00:32:34,260 --> 00:32:36,100
Oh, fuck me!
607
00:32:37,860 --> 00:32:39,740
Just look up.
608
00:32:44,900 --> 00:32:46,260
Agh!
609
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:54,940
No...
610
00:32:54,980 --> 00:32:58,100
That's made it worse.
That's made it a lot worse!
611
00:33:03,140 --> 00:33:04,700
No!
612
00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:06,660
Oh, Christ...
613
00:33:06,700 --> 00:33:08,900
What have you got there, Joe?
Er, ice.
614
00:33:08,940 --> 00:33:11,020
Is that all right?
615
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:14,220
I'll just...
616
00:33:14,260 --> 00:33:16,340
It's not very effective, is it?
617
00:33:16,380 --> 00:33:18,460
There's, erm...
618
00:33:34,660 --> 00:33:37,060
{\an4}AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS
619
00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:44,300
You're getting style points.
620
00:33:44,340 --> 00:33:46,500
Oh, my life.
621
00:33:46,540 --> 00:33:48,820
I genuinely thought
I'd done quite well on that.
622
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:52,020
Really... It's as though
I'd never heard of a hosepipe.
623
00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:54,340
I didn't even...
Or a finishing line.
624
00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:56,220
You thought it was a finishing wall.
625
00:33:56,260 --> 00:33:59,460
Normally in the sprinting, there's
the finish line, immediately a wall.
626
00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:00,900
Yeah...
627
00:34:00,940 --> 00:34:03,860
The ice though - genius.
If only the ice had come first.
628
00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:07,900
Yeah, the ice I could've... had a go
at it with the ice straight away.
629
00:34:07,940 --> 00:34:09,380
Erm...
630
00:34:09,420 --> 00:34:13,060
Oh, if you hadn't thrown
27 plant pots full of water
631
00:34:13,100 --> 00:34:14,860
against the ball first...
632
00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:17,780
There were eight trips
to the kitchen to get water.
633
00:34:17,820 --> 00:34:21,620
You also got trapped by the garage
with the ball for four minutes.
634
00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,660
No way out.
635
00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:26,100
I think this could be up to an hour.
636
00:34:26,140 --> 00:34:29,460
Well, you'll be surprised. The egg
that he's boiling is now a stone,
637
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,900
but it was only 16 minutes and 21.
638
00:34:31,940 --> 00:34:34,820
Wow.
It felt like an hour.
639
00:34:38,140 --> 00:34:40,140
OK, we've reached the end
of another part.
640
00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:44,300
Come back to see who wins the nice
things to hold. Bye for now.
641
00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:56,380
Hello and welcome back
to Taskmaster!
642
00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:59,980
Last part of the show, then. Here we
go. Oh, yes. I'm so up for this.
643
00:35:00,020 --> 00:35:02,820
They're trying to get
a... beach ball
644
00:35:02,860 --> 00:35:06,140
across a course and over
the finishing line using only water.
645
00:35:06,180 --> 00:35:08,580
Lou, Iain and Sian used a hose,
Joe went mad,
646
00:35:08,620 --> 00:35:11,900
finally up to the start line,
it's Mr Squirty himself,
647
00:35:11,940 --> 00:35:14,140
Paul Sinha!
648
00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,540
HE BLOWS
No.
649
00:35:19,940 --> 00:35:23,300
Is there a hose... pipe and a tap?
650
00:35:23,340 --> 00:35:26,420
Would you like a hose? Well,
only if it's attached to a tap.
651
00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:28,380
It is.
652
00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:34,660
Oh, it can't be going backwards!
653
00:35:47,460 --> 00:35:49,460
Can I get you anything?
654
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,980
Erm...
655
00:35:52,020 --> 00:35:54,620
My dignity?
656
00:35:54,660 --> 00:35:58,140
I'm going to put
the finishing line together. OK.
657
00:36:04,940 --> 00:36:07,020
Need a hand, Paul?
Yes, please.
658
00:36:17,860 --> 00:36:19,940
{\an1}HE BLOWS
659
00:36:31,180 --> 00:36:33,180
{\an1}AUDIENCE CHEERS
660
00:36:33,220 --> 00:36:35,260
I've stopped the clock.
661
00:36:35,300 --> 00:36:37,220
'Thank you, Paul.
662
00:36:41,340 --> 00:36:44,700
A sympathy cheer
if ever there was one.
663
00:36:44,740 --> 00:36:46,900
Great logic though
with the finish line.
664
00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:50,500
Yeah. Your first attempt - were you
trying to spit it up to the...
665
00:36:50,540 --> 00:36:53,300
I had no idea what the actual
lightness of the ball was.
666
00:36:53,340 --> 00:36:55,580
Just thought
"Is it possible to blow it?"
667
00:36:55,620 --> 00:37:00,260
Want to know how long it took him
to make the ball go minus one metre?
668
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:02,620
20 minutes.
Ah, well, no.
669
00:37:02,660 --> 00:37:05,220
He made the classic hard-boiled egg
suitable for a picnic -
670
00:37:05,260 --> 00:37:09,820
11 and a half minutes.
Ahh! Not bad! Not bad.
671
00:37:11,180 --> 00:37:13,820
The slowest was actually Joe Thomas,
so one point to him.
672
00:37:13,860 --> 00:37:17,500
Two to Paul, three to Lou, four to
Sian, but the quickest by a distance
673
00:37:17,540 --> 00:37:19,700
was Mr Iain Stirling!
674
00:37:22,780 --> 00:37:25,860
Right, let's have a look at the
scores before the final showdown.
675
00:37:25,900 --> 00:37:28,780
OK. The exciting news
is that Paul, despite that,
676
00:37:28,820 --> 00:37:32,260
is still in with a shout of winning
the episode. He's in second with 16,
677
00:37:32,300 --> 00:37:36,380
Iain is in the lead with 18 points!
Yes, please, Paul Sinha!
678
00:37:39,260 --> 00:37:41,620
Right, it is time to stand up
and march to the stage, please,
679
00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:43,980
for the final task of the show!
680
00:37:44,020 --> 00:37:45,940
{\an1}AUDIENCE CHEERS
681
00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:55,180
Hello, everyone.
Who's going to read the task out?
682
00:37:55,220 --> 00:37:59,140
I'd like Sian Gibson
to read the task out, please. Right.
683
00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:03,340
"Complete the five-syllable word
started by the Taskmaster."
684
00:38:03,380 --> 00:38:05,980
"Honk your horn if you think
you know what word
685
00:38:06,020 --> 00:38:07,820
"the Taskmaster is going to say."
686
00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:11,300
"If you guess it correctly after one
syllable, you get five points."
687
00:38:11,340 --> 00:38:13,620
"If you guess it after two syllables
- four points."
688
00:38:13,660 --> 00:38:15,780
"Guess it after three syllables -
three points."
689
00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:19,620
"Four - two. Guess it incorrectly,
you lose all your points."
690
00:38:19,660 --> 00:38:22,660
"You may only guess once per word."
691
00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:25,700
"Highest score
after ten words wins."
692
00:38:25,740 --> 00:38:29,820
OK. Just to clarify, each word
will have five syllables eventually.
693
00:38:29,860 --> 00:38:32,980
It's up to you when you want to honk
and guess. If you get it wrong,
694
00:38:33,020 --> 00:38:36,860
you must hold your horn on your head
to indicate that you got it wrong.
695
00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:39,700
If you get it wrong, you lose all
your points that you may have gained
696
00:38:39,740 --> 00:38:41,740
at any point during the task.
Whoa.
697
00:38:41,780 --> 00:38:43,700
And it's winner takes all, this one.
698
00:38:43,740 --> 00:38:46,700
The winner gets five points,
zero to everyone else.
699
00:38:46,740 --> 00:38:50,060
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
Good luck. Word one.
700
00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:53,100
U...
701
00:38:53,140 --> 00:38:55,980
That's for five points.
..ni... Four points.
702
00:38:56,020 --> 00:38:59,140
HORN
University.
703
00:38:59,180 --> 00:39:01,460
Incorrect.
Horn on the head, thank you.
704
00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:04,420
..ver...
705
00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:05,860
..sa...
PARPY HORN
706
00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:07,740
Ooh!
707
00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:10,500
Universal... ly?
708
00:39:10,540 --> 00:39:12,460
Is correct.
709
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:15,020
'Two points to Sian Gibson!
710
00:39:16,140 --> 00:39:18,300
'Word two.
711
00:39:18,340 --> 00:39:20,540
U... ni...
712
00:39:20,580 --> 00:39:23,140
HORN
University again.
713
00:39:23,180 --> 00:39:25,100
'He's got it!
Correct!
714
00:39:27,980 --> 00:39:29,700
'Word three.
715
00:39:29,740 --> 00:39:32,260
Con...
716
00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:35,540
..sta...
717
00:39:35,580 --> 00:39:38,620
{\an1}SQUEAKY HORN
That's Paul Sinha. Constabulary?
718
00:39:38,660 --> 00:39:41,620
Incorrect. Horn on the head.
Horn on the head, please.
719
00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:44,500
..ti...
PARP
720
00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:47,580
'Constantinople.
Correct! For three points!
721
00:39:47,620 --> 00:39:50,140
'That was great.
722
00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:52,300
'Word four.
723
00:39:52,340 --> 00:39:54,340
Co...
724
00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:56,060
..lon...
725
00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:57,980
HORN
Colonoscopy.
726
00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:00,700
'Correct.
For four points!
727
00:40:00,740 --> 00:40:03,260
'Word five.
728
00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:04,700
A...
729
00:40:04,740 --> 00:40:06,580
..bra...
HORN
730
00:40:06,620 --> 00:40:09,500
'Abracadabra.
Correct! Ohh!
731
00:40:11,740 --> 00:40:13,780
{\an4}For four.
732
00:40:13,820 --> 00:40:15,500
'Word six.
733
00:40:15,540 --> 00:40:16,860
An...
734
00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:19,380
SQUEAKY HORN
Anatopinona...
735
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:23,900
Oh, that's...
The famous tennis player!
736
00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:27,940
..ti...
737
00:40:27,980 --> 00:40:29,140
..ci...
738
00:40:29,180 --> 00:40:30,740
HORN
Anticipation.
739
00:40:30,780 --> 00:40:32,740
'Correct.
740
00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:35,180
{\an4}Three points.
741
00:40:35,220 --> 00:40:37,340
'Joe is off the mark.
Word seven.
742
00:40:37,380 --> 00:40:39,700
Ve...
743
00:40:39,740 --> 00:40:40,860
..ge...
744
00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:42,620
{\an1}HIGH-PITCHED HORN
745
00:40:42,660 --> 00:40:44,300
Vegetarian.
Yes!
746
00:40:44,340 --> 00:40:47,140
'Correct! Four points!
747
00:40:47,180 --> 00:40:49,540
'Paul off the mark.
748
00:40:49,580 --> 00:40:52,060
And word eight. Hu...
749
00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:54,740
HORN
Humanitarian.
750
00:40:54,780 --> 00:40:57,300
Incorrect. Horn on the head.
751
00:40:57,340 --> 00:41:00,100
..mil...
HORN
752
00:41:00,140 --> 00:41:01,580
Humiliation.
753
00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:04,420
'Correct!
Correct, Paul!
754
00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:06,820
'He's catching!
Ohh...
755
00:41:06,860 --> 00:41:08,700
'Uhh...
756
00:41:08,740 --> 00:41:10,300
'Word nine.
757
00:41:10,340 --> 00:41:11,820
Pro...
758
00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:14,660
HORN
Prolapsed anus.
759
00:41:20,620 --> 00:41:23,180
That is four syllables, Lou!
760
00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:26,580
..nun...
761
00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:28,260
{\an1}HORN
That's Paul Sinha.
762
00:41:28,300 --> 00:41:30,740
'Pronunciation. Correct.
Ooh!
763
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,500
'You're neck and neck!
764
00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:38,180
'Iain and Paul both now have
12 points. How many words left?
765
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:40,860
'Just one word. Word ten.
And it's the perfect word.
766
00:41:40,900 --> 00:41:44,740
'OK, remember - you're in the lead
in the episode. Paul, you're second.
767
00:41:44,780 --> 00:41:46,580
'AUDIENCE: Ohh...
768
00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:48,940
An...
769
00:41:48,980 --> 00:41:50,940
..ti...
770
00:41:50,980 --> 00:41:53,660
HORN
An...
771
00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:55,500
Antipodean.
772
00:41:55,540 --> 00:41:56,740
No.
773
00:41:59,660 --> 00:42:01,420
..cli...
774
00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:04,780
..ma...
HORN
775
00:42:04,820 --> 00:42:06,420
Anticlimactic.
776
00:42:06,460 --> 00:42:08,460
'Correct!
He's done it!
777
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:10,660
{\an4}CHEERING AND HORN-HONKING
778
00:42:10,700 --> 00:42:13,340
'Two points!
That was good, that was good.
779
00:42:13,380 --> 00:42:16,180
'We'll add that up
and add it to the final scores.
780
00:42:16,220 --> 00:42:19,260
Come and join us down here!
Yay!
781
00:42:26,060 --> 00:42:29,060
Talk me through it, Alex. Iain,
an incredible second place there.
782
00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:31,940
Yeah. But there was only one winner
of the five points
783
00:42:31,980 --> 00:42:33,980
and that was Mr Paul Sinha!
784
00:42:36,140 --> 00:42:37,580
Yep.
785
00:42:37,620 --> 00:42:41,060
And that means...
it's a historic occasion.
786
00:42:41,100 --> 00:42:43,540
Paul Sinha has 21 points
787
00:42:43,580 --> 00:42:45,500
and the episode!
788
00:42:45,540 --> 00:42:47,540
{\an1}WHOOPING AND CHEERING
789
00:42:49,460 --> 00:42:53,660
Paul Sinha wins
the nice things to hold!
790
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,180
Head up and hold them, Paul!
791
00:42:58,620 --> 00:43:00,900
So what have we learned today?
792
00:43:00,940 --> 00:43:03,380
We've learned that Taskmaster
has been going so long now
793
00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:05,660
that we've forgotten
some of our past contestants.
794
00:43:05,700 --> 00:43:08,060
So let's have a big shout-out
to Predator,
795
00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:11,540
Big-Tooth Guy
and The Old Chinese Man!
796
00:43:12,780 --> 00:43:15,340
And we learned that Paul Sinha
797
00:43:15,380 --> 00:43:17,860
has won an episode!
798
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:20,020
What a victory!
799
00:43:20,060 --> 00:43:21,700
Thank you and good night!
800
00:43:21,740 --> 00:43:24,020
{\an4}AUDIENCE CHEERS
801
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:47,500
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