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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,937 --> 00:00:18,937 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:23,865 --> 00:00:26,366 Let go! 3 00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:32,773 - Oh, my... - God! No! 4 00:00:33,674 --> 00:00:36,110 - Now, get up! - No! 5 00:00:36,643 --> 00:00:40,982 No. 6 00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:43,318 Please! No, please! No, no! 7 00:01:02,569 --> 00:01:06,773 - You're not finished. - No. No, please. 8 00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:11,778 There are no pleases here. We had a deal. Remember? 9 00:01:12,713 --> 00:01:15,850 I dictated the terms, you named your price, 10 00:01:15,984 --> 00:01:19,220 and then you willingly committed murder. 11 00:01:21,588 --> 00:01:23,657 While this has provided me a brief reprieve 12 00:01:23,858 --> 00:01:26,027 on an otherwise banal Tuesday, 13 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,330 you still have one final obligation. 14 00:01:30,899 --> 00:01:33,368 Also, something tells me those crocodile tears 15 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,069 are going to dry right up the second 16 00:01:35,203 --> 00:01:37,571 you walk out of here and start spending. 17 00:01:37,738 --> 00:01:40,741 I mean, for people like you, that's a given. 18 00:01:41,809 --> 00:01:44,478 Now, come on, you can do it. 19 00:02:27,889 --> 00:02:29,589 Put it where it belongs. 20 00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:58,920 On the ground. 21 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:03,191 Now, see, that was not so hard, was it? 22 00:03:18,139 --> 00:03:19,639 Clean her up, give her the money, 23 00:03:19,773 --> 00:03:23,077 and get her the fuck outta here. Jesus. 24 00:05:11,219 --> 00:05:12,553 Kasper Nordin. 25 00:05:12,752 --> 00:05:14,422 Welcome to Furcas's House of Fun. 26 00:05:14,555 --> 00:05:16,357 Please get dressed and make your way 27 00:05:16,491 --> 00:05:19,527 to the common room for some food and refreshments. 28 00:05:19,793 --> 00:05:21,095 Hope you have fun! 29 00:05:21,795 --> 00:05:23,865 Big news, Kaz. 30 00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:27,201 I got something very interesting in the pipe for you. 31 00:05:27,502 --> 00:05:28,803 It's a new reality series 32 00:05:28,936 --> 00:05:30,238 - called... - You gotta be kidding me! 33 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:34,408 And hang on. You win, you get five million. 34 00:05:38,045 --> 00:05:40,680 I just wanna move on, okay? 35 00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:44,185 Mainstream. No more of this reality shit. 36 00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:57,797 Look, Kaz, it's not like producers 37 00:05:57,932 --> 00:05:59,000 are kicking down my door for you. 38 00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:00,334 These guys asked for you by name. 39 00:06:00,535 --> 00:06:02,170 - Why? Because of Darla? - Who cares? 40 00:06:02,303 --> 00:06:04,972 You and Darla did a show together. People know your face. 41 00:06:05,106 --> 00:06:06,607 People hate my face. 42 00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:08,009 That show was the stupidest thing I ever did. 43 00:06:08,142 --> 00:06:10,244 That's 'cause it was about her. 44 00:06:10,511 --> 00:06:14,215 This time it's about you. It's redemption time. 45 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,453 I think it sounds pretty sketchy to me. 46 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,075 Hello, mate. What's the craic with you? 47 00:07:14,741 --> 00:07:16,743 Hey. What happened? 48 00:07:17,278 --> 00:07:19,213 How come everyone says that when they come out here? 49 00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:21,482 What kind of show is this? They drugged us. 50 00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:23,884 Woke up me fucking skivvies, some voice on high saying, 51 00:07:24,018 --> 00:07:25,453 "Get changed and proceed to the common room." 52 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,221 These people are getting so sued believe you me. 53 00:07:27,355 --> 00:07:29,090 You've never been drugged before? 54 00:07:29,223 --> 00:07:31,726 Yeah, but of my own volition, and at my own discretion, 55 00:07:31,926 --> 00:07:33,127 and not in this outfit. 56 00:07:33,261 --> 00:07:34,562 What have they done with me clothes? 57 00:07:34,761 --> 00:07:36,864 They choose our clothes, that was in the contract. 58 00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:38,532 Well, at least give me some variety. 59 00:07:38,699 --> 00:07:39,900 Spice of fucking life. 60 00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:42,603 Not the same ten quim-pink shirts every day. 61 00:07:43,237 --> 00:07:45,772 - Slainte! - Wh... where are we? 62 00:07:45,906 --> 00:07:47,575 Welcome to Furcas's House of Fun. 63 00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:50,378 Hello? Anyone in charge? 64 00:07:50,544 --> 00:07:53,381 I'm pretty sure kidnapping is illegal, yeah? 65 00:07:54,781 --> 00:07:56,384 He's tried this three times already. 66 00:07:56,617 --> 00:07:59,186 - Yo, mate, nobody's coming. - Get fucked. 67 00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:02,056 What the fuck did you just say to me? 68 00:08:03,090 --> 00:08:04,558 I didn't know. 69 00:08:06,627 --> 00:08:08,362 I said, "What the fuck did you just say to me?" 70 00:08:08,562 --> 00:08:10,831 Sorry, mate, I am, uh, clinically claustrophobic. 71 00:08:10,965 --> 00:08:13,868 Might even suffer from a smidgen of the ole Tourette's, yeah? 72 00:08:15,169 --> 00:08:16,437 I'm just fucking with you. 73 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:18,439 I'm just fucking with you. 74 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,609 Irish sense of humor. Fucking legendary. 75 00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:24,245 - Is there a phone? - No phones. 76 00:08:24,445 --> 00:08:26,314 Took our mobiles as well. So, you can kiss 77 00:08:26,447 --> 00:08:28,616 that social media hot streak goodbye. 78 00:08:28,816 --> 00:08:29,917 It's all in the contract. 79 00:08:30,151 --> 00:08:31,385 What's the last thing you remember? 80 00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:32,953 Getting in the limo after the airport 81 00:08:33,087 --> 00:08:34,422 and then... ...lights out. 82 00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:37,191 - Woke up here. - Yeah. Ditto. 83 00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:38,859 And you lot are all right with all this? 84 00:08:39,026 --> 00:08:40,428 Wow, you've never been knocked out before? 85 00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:43,631 - You'll be fine, man. - Fucking mental. 86 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,534 For five million quid, I'm all right with it, mate. 87 00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,970 - Do you want a drink? - Uh, yeah. 88 00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:55,109 I know you. Yeah, you're that guy. 89 00:08:55,242 --> 00:08:58,112 - Kasper, Kasper, Kasper, uh... - Nordin. 90 00:08:58,312 --> 00:09:01,315 Kasper Nordin. You were married to that girl, um... 91 00:09:01,615 --> 00:09:03,784 - Darla Drake. - Darla fucking Drake. 92 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,519 You guys had that show. 93 00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:07,555 Back up Love. 94 00:09:07,688 --> 00:09:09,056 Back up fucking Love! 95 00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:12,126 Oh, you lucky son of a bitch, yeah. Beautiful girl, 96 00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:13,427 great voice, nice set of... 97 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,563 Fucking... Look, I'm real sorry, man, 98 00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:17,732 but that song, "Put Your Heart on the Line," 99 00:09:17,865 --> 00:09:19,100 oh, that was a solid 100 00:09:19,233 --> 00:09:20,501 fucking tune, man! 101 00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:21,902 Solid fucking tune! 102 00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:23,704 Yeah. 103 00:09:24,205 --> 00:09:25,807 This place ain't bad. 104 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,141 But it's weird. 105 00:09:27,308 --> 00:09:28,509 A hot tub filled with milk. 106 00:09:28,676 --> 00:09:31,212 Amigos, good news. We found a hot tub. 107 00:09:31,512 --> 00:09:34,782 Yeah. And it's filled with milk. It's fucking weird. 108 00:09:35,015 --> 00:09:36,250 It's not milk, stupid. 109 00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:39,320 I told you nyuuyoku-zai. It's Japanese. 110 00:09:39,587 --> 00:09:41,589 Okay, okay, relax, sister. Breathe. 111 00:09:41,857 --> 00:09:46,227 It's called yukobukake shit. Who cares? 112 00:09:47,261 --> 00:09:48,996 Who's the big bird? 113 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,565 Oh, shit, it's Kasper Nordin. 114 00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:53,033 It's Kasper Nordin, man. 115 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,804 - No way? Never heard of him. - I'll give you a hint. 116 00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:59,039 ♪ Don't waste my time Or you'll never be mine ♪ 117 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,208 ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪ 118 00:10:01,442 --> 00:10:03,978 ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪ 119 00:10:05,179 --> 00:10:06,447 - Nah. - He's fucking 120 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:10,618 - Darla Drake's ex-husband, man! - Oh, yeah! Good for you. 121 00:10:10,951 --> 00:10:12,153 Yeah. Can we move on? 122 00:10:12,386 --> 00:10:14,856 Can I get my drink, please? Scotch. 123 00:10:15,089 --> 00:10:16,190 Hi, everyone. 124 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,993 Ula La More. 125 00:10:21,028 --> 00:10:23,597 - Ximena. - Ula. 126 00:10:25,299 --> 00:10:27,568 - Hi, I'm Ula. - What's up? 127 00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:32,406 - Hi. Ula. - Ooh-la-la, yes, you are. 128 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,009 - I'm Dex. - Hi, Dex. 129 00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:37,478 Hi. I'm Ula. 130 00:10:37,711 --> 00:10:40,014 I know. I, uh, follow you on the Insta. 131 00:10:40,147 --> 00:10:41,515 Cool. 132 00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:51,358 Can someone tell me where the producers are, please? 133 00:10:51,492 --> 00:10:53,360 I take it you don't like being drugged either? 134 00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:55,963 I scoured the entire flat. Couldn't find a camera, 135 00:10:56,096 --> 00:10:57,231 a director, not even a bloody PA. 136 00:10:57,765 --> 00:11:00,134 - Can't get outside neither. - This is not good. 137 00:11:00,434 --> 00:11:04,004 Hi, I'm Nevin. I'm claustrophobic, clinically. 138 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,842 - No shit? - "El Shocker"? 139 00:11:07,007 --> 00:11:09,610 Yeah. This guy knows what's up. 140 00:11:09,743 --> 00:11:11,947 Put her there, Daddy! 141 00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:14,982 I thought you was dead. 142 00:11:17,151 --> 00:11:18,252 Yeah. 143 00:11:20,822 --> 00:11:23,224 Welcome to Furcas's House of Fun. 144 00:11:23,424 --> 00:11:26,160 Now, broadcasting live to the entire world. 145 00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:29,063 Streaming 24/7, seven days a week, 146 00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:31,332 with no commercial interruptions. 147 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,667 High stakes, high drama... 148 00:11:33,802 --> 00:11:35,202 ...anything goes. 149 00:11:35,469 --> 00:11:37,238 It's the ultimate in online-reality-fun, 150 00:11:37,471 --> 00:11:39,507 where you, the global audience 151 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,542 must decide who is sent packing, 152 00:11:41,675 --> 00:11:44,846 and who takes home the five million-dollar 153 00:11:45,012 --> 00:11:46,080 grand prize. 154 00:11:46,815 --> 00:11:50,150 So, without further ado, let's meet our contestants. 155 00:11:50,284 --> 00:11:51,752 Ula La More! 156 00:11:51,953 --> 00:11:53,754 Yeah, boy! 157 00:11:53,955 --> 00:11:55,155 Dropped from heaven 158 00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:57,458 straight to Warsaw, Poland... 159 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,360 ...Miss La More now resides in the City of Angels 160 00:11:59,493 --> 00:12:00,829 - where she boasts more than... - Woo-hoo! 161 00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:02,796 ...eight million Instagram followers 162 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,065 and spends her days working out, 163 00:12:05,199 --> 00:12:07,134 hanging out, and going out. 164 00:12:07,301 --> 00:12:09,203 - Yo, is that... - Ula La More. 165 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,105 What is this? 166 00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:13,207 It's that, um, Funhouse thing. It's a show. 167 00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:14,708 ...And yolo-ing the hell 168 00:12:14,843 --> 00:12:17,077 out of the Funhouse for all to see! 169 00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,849 - James Headstone Malone. - Oh, motherfucker... 170 00:12:20,982 --> 00:12:22,383 He's a mixed martial artist, 171 00:12:22,516 --> 00:12:24,552 hailing out of Dundalk, Ireland. 172 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,554 After crushing skulls 173 00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,890 on the hit reality series, The Warriors Way, 174 00:12:29,089 --> 00:12:32,426 the Irish prince of pain took a run at MMA gold... 175 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,862 I'm the fucking future! 176 00:12:33,995 --> 00:12:35,529 ...but unfortunately, fell short. 177 00:12:35,696 --> 00:12:38,632 Retired since 2016, Headstone still enjoys 178 00:12:38,766 --> 00:12:40,534 hitting the gym, hitting the bar, 179 00:12:40,668 --> 00:12:42,102 and hitting other people. 180 00:12:42,236 --> 00:12:43,905 Hey, man... 181 00:12:44,104 --> 00:12:47,308 Cat Zim. The Filipino killer from Manila 182 00:12:47,575 --> 00:12:49,343 was a star on the short-lived series, 183 00:12:49,476 --> 00:12:51,178 The Real Wiccans of Westchester, 184 00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,614 but now, only dabbles in the dark arts 185 00:12:53,747 --> 00:12:56,317 as a solo performance artist. 186 00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:57,852 This quiet queen of cute 187 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,620 also holds the honor... 188 00:12:59,854 --> 00:13:03,257 ...of being the youngest female chess grand master in history. 189 00:13:03,724 --> 00:13:08,395 The man simply known as Dex. After making a splash 190 00:13:08,529 --> 00:13:10,230 on the hit reality show spin-off, 191 00:13:10,364 --> 00:13:11,765 Santiago Shore, 192 00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,134 this Chilean troubadour joined the rap game 193 00:13:14,268 --> 00:13:15,536 where he dropped the hit 194 00:13:15,736 --> 00:13:18,105 of the one-wonder variety, "El Shocker." 195 00:13:18,238 --> 00:13:20,674 ♪ This ends right here And it's called El Shocker ♪ 196 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,611 - ♪ El Shocker, El Shocker... ♪ - That never gets old. 197 00:13:25,613 --> 00:13:28,950 Lonni Byrne. The lonely lass of Boston, Mass. 198 00:13:29,216 --> 00:13:30,484 I'm the bride-to-be. 199 00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:32,486 The season 18 bride-to-be 200 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,857 is notorious for dumping 27 men, 201 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,526 only to be left at the altar twice during the final rose, 202 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,328 a Bride to Be first. 203 00:13:41,462 --> 00:13:44,933 I think you're incredible, but... I'm sorry. 204 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,467 I'm sorry. 205 00:13:48,669 --> 00:13:50,270 This titillating temptress 206 00:13:50,471 --> 00:13:53,108 is known not only for her rare beauty, but also 207 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,077 her extracurricular antics, which have landed her 208 00:13:56,243 --> 00:13:57,578 in the hot seat 209 00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:59,246 on more than one occasion. 210 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,681 - Hey... - This one 211 00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:03,484 can definitely hold her own with the boys, and then some. 212 00:14:03,952 --> 00:14:05,486 Nevin Eversmith. 213 00:14:05,653 --> 00:14:06,821 What's up, YouTube? It's your boy, 214 00:14:06,955 --> 00:14:08,455 Nevin Eversmith coming at you again. 215 00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:10,357 This British baculum of bombast 216 00:14:10,491 --> 00:14:11,893 is a YouTube sensation 217 00:14:12,027 --> 00:14:14,929 whose ironic claim to fame is talking 218 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,398 about and rating viral videos, 219 00:14:17,531 --> 00:14:20,167 chalking up more than ten million subscribers 220 00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,535 in the process. 221 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:25,372 Not to mention, making a few viral videos of his own. 222 00:14:25,506 --> 00:14:30,344 Fucking hell... 223 00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:33,247 - Ximena Torres. - What's up, guys? 224 00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,849 Just over the border in Tijuana 225 00:14:34,983 --> 00:14:37,384 is where this lethal Latina resides. 226 00:14:37,551 --> 00:14:39,620 She's Mexico's number one blogger 227 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,255 on all things pop culture, 228 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,223 and has proven time and again 229 00:14:43,357 --> 00:14:47,128 that social media hazing truly is mightier than the sword. 230 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,098 Watch your back, amigos, 'cause I'm always watching. 231 00:14:50,464 --> 00:14:53,367 - What are you watching? - I'm watching a program. 232 00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:55,269 - Funhouse. - Funhouse? 233 00:14:55,402 --> 00:14:56,403 Celebutants, take heed 234 00:14:56,537 --> 00:14:58,305 and keep your nose clean, 235 00:14:58,472 --> 00:15:00,975 otherwise, she's got you in her sights. 236 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,310 Careers have been made and destroyed 237 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,979 by the stroke of her key. 238 00:15:05,312 --> 00:15:07,548 Hi, Kasper. Poor thing. 239 00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,550 Just ask our last contestant. 240 00:15:10,051 --> 00:15:12,954 Last and possibly least, just kidding, 241 00:15:13,088 --> 00:15:15,756 is Stockholm, Sweden's favorite orphan, 242 00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:17,192 Kasper Nordin. 243 00:15:17,658 --> 00:15:20,227 This crooning Casanova struck pay dirt 244 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,963 when he landed a job singing backup 245 00:15:22,097 --> 00:15:24,465 for pop's hottest princess, Darla Drake. 246 00:15:24,665 --> 00:15:29,670 - ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪ - ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪ 247 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,473 Darla fell hard for the Swedish chansonnier 248 00:15:32,841 --> 00:15:35,776 and as fast as you could say, "Put your heart on the line," 249 00:15:35,910 --> 00:15:39,413 the two lovebirds were married and had their own reality show, 250 00:15:39,713 --> 00:15:43,952 Darla and Kasper, Back up Love. After the inevitable split, 251 00:15:44,085 --> 00:15:46,386 Kasper had a very brief solo career 252 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,023 and is now trying his hand at acting. 253 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,091 Freeze, buster! 254 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,860 It's not worth it. 255 00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:55,529 It so is! 256 00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:00,869 City life. 257 00:16:04,404 --> 00:16:06,007 We can't wait to see 258 00:16:06,141 --> 00:16:10,078 what he has in store for us next. Hope you have fun. 259 00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:13,848 - Whoo! - That's fucking deadly, man. 260 00:16:14,149 --> 00:16:15,349 Um, okay, 261 00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:19,553 um... I'm sorry. It's kind of my job. 262 00:16:19,753 --> 00:16:22,157 - This is a nightmare. - Savage. 263 00:16:23,925 --> 00:16:26,127 Hello, everyone. I'm Furcas, and I'll be your guide 264 00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:28,362 during your stay at my House of Fun. 265 00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:30,098 Unfortunately, when this is over, 266 00:16:30,265 --> 00:16:32,332 only one of you will be with us to collect 267 00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,334 the five million-dollar prize. 268 00:16:34,836 --> 00:16:38,006 So, do your best to make sure that person is you. 269 00:16:38,672 --> 00:16:40,975 Every three days, your loyal viewing audience 270 00:16:41,109 --> 00:16:43,710 will vote to see who stays and who goes. 271 00:16:44,112 --> 00:16:46,147 The housemate who receives the least votes 272 00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:48,016 must face a skill testing challenge. 273 00:16:48,149 --> 00:16:49,750 - But if the vote count... - Yeah. Whoo! 274 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,451 ...is within one percentage point, 275 00:16:51,752 --> 00:16:54,721 the lowest two will compete to see who survives. 276 00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:56,057 Any questions? 277 00:16:56,958 --> 00:17:00,228 - Ximena, you look puzzled. - Yeah. You're not a recording? 278 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,065 No, I'm Furcas, your guide through the Funhouse. 279 00:17:04,299 --> 00:17:05,799 Any other questions? 280 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:09,336 - Yes, Nevin? - Uh, oh, yeah, Furcas, is it? 281 00:17:09,536 --> 00:17:11,438 Yeah, you gave us a Cosby Cocktail. 282 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:13,540 - What's that all about? - That was agreed upon 283 00:17:13,674 --> 00:17:15,609 in your contract. Section 32 C. 284 00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:16,643 I fucking told you. 285 00:17:16,845 --> 00:17:18,112 Yeah. We're not allowed outside. 286 00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,315 I'm claustrophobic, you know, clinically. 287 00:17:20,447 --> 00:17:21,816 So I've heard. 288 00:17:21,983 --> 00:17:23,952 The contract clearly dictated the terms. 289 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,687 You're confined to the interior of the house. 290 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,456 If you leave at any time, you'll be disqualified 291 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:33,027 and your one 100,000-dollar entry gift will be revoked. 292 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,929 You'll be monitored in every room 293 00:17:35,063 --> 00:17:36,797 of the house at all times. 294 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,366 Okay. What about the cameras? Are they in the bathroom? 295 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,903 The cameras are hidden throughout the house. 296 00:17:42,036 --> 00:17:44,005 And while using the bathroom or shower, 297 00:17:44,138 --> 00:17:46,174 your image will be blurred to the viewing public. 298 00:17:46,406 --> 00:17:49,776 However, if you so choose, this blurring feature 299 00:17:49,911 --> 00:17:52,379 can be removed by you at any time. 300 00:17:53,248 --> 00:17:55,682 Once a day, for at least five minutes, 301 00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:57,417 you must enter the confession booth 302 00:17:57,551 --> 00:18:00,989 and speak to our viewers about anything you want. 303 00:18:01,155 --> 00:18:02,456 Other than that, 304 00:18:02,789 --> 00:18:04,325 you can do as you wish for as long as you're here. 305 00:18:05,059 --> 00:18:06,793 Fuck me, mate! Don't be creeping like that. 306 00:18:07,061 --> 00:18:08,863 Occasionally, you'll see helpers 307 00:18:08,997 --> 00:18:10,832 such as this throughout the house. 308 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,734 They're here to clean, restock food and drink, 309 00:18:13,902 --> 00:18:15,636 and guide you through challenges. 310 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:17,504 You can speak to them if you wish, 311 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,641 but they will not answer. They are here only to help. 312 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,312 Then if there are no further questions, good luck, 313 00:18:24,444 --> 00:18:27,581 and enjoy your stay at Furcas's House of Fun. 314 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,588 Okay. Is it just me or is there all kinds of wrong 315 00:18:34,721 --> 00:18:35,689 with everything here? 316 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,591 Right. Who wants a drink? 317 00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:39,660 Two for me. 318 00:18:40,962 --> 00:18:42,397 - Yes. - Make it double. 319 00:18:43,031 --> 00:18:45,732 So, we're just supposed to talk then? 320 00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:48,069 Into there? 321 00:18:48,269 --> 00:18:54,741 ♪ No, nobody gonna tell us how Or take us down, whoa..." ♪ 322 00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:57,345 Well, look who showed up. 323 00:18:58,012 --> 00:18:59,780 ♪ ...Yeah, here we go... ♪ 324 00:18:59,914 --> 00:19:02,649 - Headstone here. - Hi, it's me, Ula. 325 00:19:02,783 --> 00:19:05,019 ♪ El Shocker, El Shocker ♪ 326 00:19:05,153 --> 00:19:07,487 What's up? It's your girl Ximena Torres, 327 00:19:07,621 --> 00:19:09,790 coming at you live from the Funhouse. 328 00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:14,996 ♪ ...We're gonna have some fun ♪ 329 00:19:15,129 --> 00:19:17,432 ♪ Let's all get A little bit higher... ♪ 330 00:19:17,631 --> 00:19:18,967 You're dead sweetheart. Here we go. 331 00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,870 Uh, if my agent's watching, what the actual fuck, Gary? 332 00:19:23,004 --> 00:19:24,504 You know I'm clinically claustrophobic! 333 00:19:24,671 --> 00:19:25,840 Yeah, you could have told me 334 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,674 we'd be packed in here like a bunch of lab rats. 335 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,244 ♪ ...Fire dancer... ♪ 336 00:19:30,477 --> 00:19:35,649 ♪ Fire dancer Show me your crown... ♪ 337 00:19:35,782 --> 00:19:36,783 Okay, shut up! 338 00:19:37,018 --> 00:19:38,652 ♪ ...Show me your crown... ♪ 339 00:19:38,785 --> 00:19:40,355 I bet you didn't read the contract, Gary, did ya? 340 00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:42,423 Your one job, mate. You sit behind your desk, 341 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:43,757 you read contracts. 342 00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:45,193 It's like they knew I was claustrophobic 343 00:19:45,326 --> 00:19:46,593 and they used it against me. 344 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,896 Hang on. I'm... I'm in here. 345 00:19:49,297 --> 00:19:52,499 Actually, it reminds me of a knock-knock joke. 346 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:53,835 Knock-knock. 347 00:19:55,769 --> 00:19:57,071 Uh, little old lady... 348 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,009 Didn't... didn't know you could yodel. 349 00:20:01,209 --> 00:20:02,343 Come on, Kaz. 350 00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:04,078 Stakes are too high for that, man. 351 00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:07,181 I'm a lot better at telling jokes in Swedish. 352 00:20:07,514 --> 00:20:09,716 Wait, how the hell am I supposed to update social media 353 00:20:09,851 --> 00:20:11,752 if I'm trapped in here without a phone, Gary? 354 00:20:11,886 --> 00:20:13,054 Who the fuck is Gary? 355 00:20:13,187 --> 00:20:14,721 You know what? Hashtag #FuckGary. 356 00:20:14,856 --> 00:20:16,690 Let's get that ball rolling, yeah? 357 00:20:17,492 --> 00:20:18,625 No "El Shocker"? 358 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:24,499 Oh, no, no, sweetie. 359 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,070 ♪ ...Come for you... ♪ 360 00:20:29,636 --> 00:20:31,205 Everybody in the house seems... 361 00:20:32,539 --> 00:20:35,510 nice, but with that many dysfunctional people... 362 00:20:35,675 --> 00:20:36,777 To new friends! 363 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,146 ...get ready. 364 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,746 Drama, she's coming. 365 00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:41,883 How do you even do that? 366 00:20:42,016 --> 00:20:44,385 No. Come on! 367 00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:48,356 What's up, guys? 368 00:20:48,489 --> 00:20:51,092 - Don't forget, vote for Ximena. - Kisses. 369 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,894 Right. Maybe a half an hour in heaven 370 00:20:53,027 --> 00:20:55,363 before the Devil knows your dead. Vote Headstone. 371 00:20:55,496 --> 00:20:56,464 Vote Lonni. 372 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,867 Vote Dex, yo. 373 00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:02,336 Vote Ula La More. You won't regret it. 374 00:21:02,503 --> 00:21:03,670 See you tomorrow. 375 00:21:03,905 --> 00:21:05,139 In the future, I'm reading the contracts, 376 00:21:05,273 --> 00:21:07,574 that much I can tell you. Uh, vote Nevin. 377 00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,077 I'll probably talk 378 00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,577 about something more interesting next time. 379 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:11,946 Vote Cat. 380 00:21:12,246 --> 00:21:16,150 Sorry about the joke. Um, vote for me, anyway. 381 00:21:16,851 --> 00:21:19,954 - Show me that. Yes. - Why? 382 00:21:20,254 --> 00:21:23,858 - The dude's Swedish. - And? 383 00:21:24,425 --> 00:21:25,860 Hey, everybody. I'm Pete Sake, 384 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,029 bringing you the best of the worst to the web. 385 00:21:28,296 --> 00:21:31,032 Up first, the new reality show abomination 386 00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,800 everyone's talking about, Furcas's House of Fun, 387 00:21:33,935 --> 00:21:35,735 featuring eight former celebrities, 388 00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:38,139 aka fame whores, competing to see 389 00:21:38,306 --> 00:21:40,074 who can be the most cringeworthy, 390 00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:43,311 all the while facing off for five million dollars. 391 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,513 Something tells me this crew is gonna make anyone 392 00:21:45,645 --> 00:21:49,016 who actually ate a Tide Pod feel like a Rhodes scholar. 393 00:21:49,584 --> 00:21:50,717 Should be fun. 394 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,021 So, you're from Boston, huh? 395 00:21:54,589 --> 00:21:57,558 I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan, originally. 396 00:21:57,724 --> 00:21:59,759 Went to Boston U for four years, though. 397 00:22:00,328 --> 00:22:01,262 What did you take? 398 00:22:01,761 --> 00:22:05,900 I am the proud owner of a degree in Elizabethan literature. 399 00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:08,136 Oh, wow. That's cool. 400 00:22:08,668 --> 00:22:10,737 Cool if you want a Shakespeare quote. 401 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:14,242 Not so cool if you want a job that pays actual money. 402 00:22:14,609 --> 00:22:17,178 Seems to be a lot of that going around here. 403 00:22:18,913 --> 00:22:21,516 So you are the bride-to-be. 404 00:22:21,681 --> 00:22:23,584 That's my claim to fame. 405 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:26,320 Or, rather, infamy. 406 00:22:27,121 --> 00:22:29,323 Yeah, well, I can relate. 407 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:39,834 I thought I heard voices out here. 408 00:22:39,967 --> 00:22:43,171 My kind of people, huh? Night owls. I'll bartend. 409 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:46,474 Well, I'm more of a rooster these days, 410 00:22:46,641 --> 00:22:48,708 so, you two have at it. 411 00:22:49,343 --> 00:22:51,812 Oh, no. Ugh, no. 412 00:22:53,713 --> 00:22:56,150 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kasper, where the hell are you going? 413 00:22:56,384 --> 00:22:59,453 - Oi, it's time for a drink. - I think I'm also 414 00:22:59,854 --> 00:23:01,455 a little bit more of a rooster myself. 415 00:23:02,456 --> 00:23:05,326 Roosters? No, no, fuck roosters. All right? Fuck 'em. 416 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:06,693 Night owls fly down 417 00:23:06,827 --> 00:23:08,829 with their claws and kill roosters. 418 00:23:09,463 --> 00:23:11,165 And then eat them. 419 00:23:12,233 --> 00:23:13,800 Well, when you put like that. 420 00:23:17,305 --> 00:23:18,839 Ooh. 421 00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:21,042 Thank you. 422 00:23:28,282 --> 00:23:29,183 Cheers. 423 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:33,254 The bold will die, as will the strong. 424 00:23:33,854 --> 00:23:35,923 As legends, we go on. 425 00:23:36,756 --> 00:23:39,126 - Wait. What... what was that? - What? 426 00:23:39,927 --> 00:23:42,029 - What did you say? - What? 427 00:23:42,530 --> 00:23:43,730 What are you talking about? 428 00:23:43,864 --> 00:23:45,466 It was a toast my father used to say. 429 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,603 My father was a hard man. 430 00:23:49,237 --> 00:23:51,973 But he made me the man I am today... 431 00:23:53,341 --> 00:23:55,576 by beating the ever-living shite out of me 432 00:23:55,742 --> 00:23:57,278 every day he was alive. 433 00:24:02,550 --> 00:24:05,453 Anyway... ...repeat after me. 434 00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:08,122 - The bold will die. - The bold will die. 435 00:24:08,256 --> 00:24:10,024 - As will the strong. - As will the strong. 436 00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:13,261 - As legends we go on. - As legends we go on. 437 00:24:13,594 --> 00:24:15,029 - Slainte. - Skoal. 438 00:24:30,878 --> 00:24:32,513 Are you a friendly ghost, Casper? 439 00:24:33,381 --> 00:24:35,182 Actually, it's Kasper with a K. 440 00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:38,252 We didn't really have that cartoon in Sweden. 441 00:24:39,587 --> 00:24:42,490 We had The Moomins, though. You should check that out. 442 00:24:43,224 --> 00:24:46,027 So, why do they call you Headstone? 443 00:24:52,633 --> 00:24:54,535 Because I put people into the earth. 444 00:24:55,703 --> 00:24:57,238 Lay them to rest, so to speak. 445 00:24:58,439 --> 00:24:59,440 Fair enough. 446 00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:01,909 And because it rhymes with Malone. 447 00:25:03,444 --> 00:25:04,378 It does. 448 00:25:06,013 --> 00:25:07,915 Also, I have an extremely hard head. 449 00:25:09,483 --> 00:25:10,384 Okay. 450 00:25:10,951 --> 00:25:14,955 So, it's a... a triple entendre when you think about it, right? 451 00:25:15,156 --> 00:25:17,258 I... I got it. 452 00:25:20,795 --> 00:25:23,297 - Right. Slainte! - Skoal! 453 00:25:23,831 --> 00:25:24,732 What? 454 00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:27,435 - Just drink. - Fair enough. 455 00:25:34,442 --> 00:25:37,044 They don't have any fucking beer around here. 456 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:44,018 And that's why you always get a Fluffer, okay? 457 00:25:44,151 --> 00:25:46,287 I will make a note of that. Yeah. 458 00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:49,390 Hey, my man, you know what happened 459 00:25:49,523 --> 00:25:51,492 in the fútbol match Colo-Colo y La U? 460 00:25:52,693 --> 00:25:56,832 Hey. Do you speak Spanish? Fútbol, you know? 461 00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:59,934 Oh, I got it, I got it. It's soccer, isn't it? 462 00:26:00,134 --> 00:26:01,268 You know about soccer? 463 00:26:01,402 --> 00:26:02,804 Why do some people call it soccer 464 00:26:02,937 --> 00:26:03,904 and some football? 465 00:26:04,205 --> 00:26:06,407 Never understood that. 466 00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:10,812 Hello, everyone. 467 00:26:11,379 --> 00:26:12,947 Furcas, how are you doing, mate? 468 00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:16,484 Congratulations on making it through the first three days 469 00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:18,018 in the Funhouse. 470 00:26:18,252 --> 00:26:21,055 I see friendships were made, some more than others. 471 00:26:21,188 --> 00:26:22,690 There were some tense moments, 472 00:26:22,824 --> 00:26:25,559 but all in all, it looked like everyone's had fun, 473 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,461 and that's the name of the game. 474 00:26:27,928 --> 00:26:30,398 But now, the votes are in, and, unfortunately, 475 00:26:30,531 --> 00:26:33,067 for one of you, it's time to say goodbye. 476 00:26:33,334 --> 00:26:36,137 So, without further ado, let's find out who. 477 00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:38,305 Let's go. 478 00:26:44,111 --> 00:26:45,146 Come on. Come on. 479 00:26:45,279 --> 00:26:47,915 Yeah! Go, Dex! Go, Dex! Go, Dex! 480 00:26:48,349 --> 00:26:49,650 Well, there we have it. 481 00:26:49,784 --> 00:26:51,252 You fucking won. 482 00:26:51,952 --> 00:26:54,255 Three percent. What in the actual fuck? 483 00:26:54,422 --> 00:26:56,190 Ula taking an early lead. 484 00:26:56,357 --> 00:26:59,026 Looks like turning off the blur feature in the shower 485 00:26:59,193 --> 00:27:00,428 really helped your cause. 486 00:27:00,761 --> 00:27:03,230 Cat with a strong second, followed by Dex, 487 00:27:03,431 --> 00:27:06,567 Headstone, Kasper, and Ximena, a tight race. 488 00:27:07,101 --> 00:27:08,502 Then we have Lonni and Nevin. 489 00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:11,439 But because your votes are within one percent, 490 00:27:11,572 --> 00:27:13,474 you'll both have to undergo a challenge 491 00:27:13,607 --> 00:27:15,643 to see who makes it to the next round. 492 00:27:15,844 --> 00:27:18,712 So, let's just see what your challenge shall be. 493 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,015 Piñata Party! 494 00:27:22,483 --> 00:27:23,651 What? 495 00:27:23,951 --> 00:27:25,453 - Yo, that's racist. - A little. 496 00:27:25,619 --> 00:27:27,988 Lonni, Nevin, please follow the helper 497 00:27:28,122 --> 00:27:30,090 - to your first challenge. - Well... 498 00:27:30,257 --> 00:27:32,126 ...let's get this over with. 499 00:27:35,196 --> 00:27:36,664 Bye-bye. 500 00:27:41,803 --> 00:27:43,304 It's because I'm a Limey, isn't that it? 501 00:27:43,471 --> 00:27:45,306 Yeah, colonialism, that's what it is. 502 00:27:45,439 --> 00:27:47,174 All right, you bamboo-munching Muppet, 503 00:27:47,308 --> 00:27:49,977 lets' go. I'll let this happen, but this is bullshit. 504 00:27:50,144 --> 00:27:52,046 Yeah, number one bullshit. 505 00:27:53,414 --> 00:27:54,916 It ain't 'cause he's British. 506 00:27:55,149 --> 00:27:57,886 It's because he bitches all the time. 507 00:27:58,152 --> 00:27:59,453 People don't like whiny shit. 508 00:28:00,454 --> 00:28:03,224 But you know what people do like is T&A. 509 00:28:03,457 --> 00:28:04,960 - Yeah, boy. - Excuse me? 510 00:28:05,159 --> 00:28:06,962 Oh, nothing. I'm just saying. 511 00:28:07,528 --> 00:28:09,865 Well, I'm just saying, show them if you got them. 512 00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:11,432 Oh, yes, girl, I got them. 513 00:28:11,833 --> 00:28:13,767 And everything you see is a 100 percent real. 514 00:28:14,134 --> 00:28:15,369 People voted for me 515 00:28:15,503 --> 00:28:16,938 because I'm a nice person. 516 00:28:17,137 --> 00:28:20,307 - I'm likeable, bitch. - Ooh. 517 00:28:20,474 --> 00:28:22,309 No, babe, they voted for you 518 00:28:22,443 --> 00:28:24,946 because you showered naked in front of millions of people. 519 00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:28,148 But whatever, that's real classy, ho. 520 00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:30,351 Oh, whoa, whoa. 521 00:28:32,386 --> 00:28:34,221 - I like you still a lot. - I know. 522 00:28:34,622 --> 00:28:38,259 For the rest of you lucky few, to the Witness Room you go. 523 00:28:39,460 --> 00:28:41,161 - Come on. - Here we go. 524 00:28:42,196 --> 00:28:43,697 Let's fucking go. 525 00:28:43,832 --> 00:28:44,765 I'll take that with me. 526 00:29:10,724 --> 00:29:13,260 They must have ran out of cash for this part of the house, huh? 527 00:29:13,494 --> 00:29:15,830 In procession, man. 528 00:29:21,268 --> 00:29:23,304 Nice decor. 529 00:29:28,944 --> 00:29:30,144 Oh, shit. 530 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,747 Fucking move there. 531 00:29:34,248 --> 00:29:35,749 Holy moly. 532 00:29:36,051 --> 00:29:37,251 What they got in there? 533 00:29:37,551 --> 00:29:39,386 Listen, what is this house? I can't see shit. 534 00:29:39,787 --> 00:29:41,488 What is this? Is it like a peep show or something? 535 00:29:41,622 --> 00:29:42,824 Oh, shit. 536 00:29:42,958 --> 00:29:44,425 Too bad Ula's on the wrong side. 537 00:29:44,558 --> 00:29:47,127 - Ooh! - Funny, bitch. 538 00:29:53,467 --> 00:29:54,735 - El Shocker! - One... 539 00:29:57,271 --> 00:29:58,873 - Get it, girl. - Come on, Lonni. 540 00:30:05,646 --> 00:30:07,015 - Team Lonni. - Whoo! 541 00:30:07,147 --> 00:30:08,616 Yeah, you go, girl. 542 00:30:13,922 --> 00:30:17,691 Hello, Lonni, are you ready for your first challenge? 543 00:30:17,892 --> 00:30:21,328 - Let's do this. - This is going to be fun. 544 00:30:23,230 --> 00:30:25,066 That should be Ximena's challenge. 545 00:30:25,232 --> 00:30:26,433 I'm sure she's a pro. 546 00:30:26,634 --> 00:30:28,369 I wouldn't be talking about pros, babe. 547 00:30:28,702 --> 00:30:29,971 Just 'cause you're not on a corner 548 00:30:30,105 --> 00:30:31,205 doesn't mean you're not selling. 549 00:30:32,941 --> 00:30:34,608 Oh, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. 550 00:30:34,775 --> 00:30:36,610 The challenge is quite simple. 551 00:30:36,744 --> 00:30:40,648 You must break open the piñata and retrieve what's inside. 552 00:30:40,915 --> 00:30:44,986 Then using an identical piñata, Nevin will do the same. 553 00:30:45,152 --> 00:30:49,189 Whoever's fastest, wins. Good luck to you. 554 00:30:50,925 --> 00:30:53,560 - This is fine. It's fine. - Easy one. 555 00:30:54,829 --> 00:30:56,397 - Go, Lonni. - Give her the bat. 556 00:30:56,831 --> 00:30:58,232 They didn't even give her the bat. 557 00:30:58,365 --> 00:30:59,600 The piñata's going away. 558 00:31:04,304 --> 00:31:06,340 Very funny, guys. 559 00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:08,709 - What the fuck? - Wow! 560 00:31:09,476 --> 00:31:10,812 Is that Nevin? 561 00:31:11,012 --> 00:31:13,247 He's got a fucking gag in his mouth. 562 00:31:17,418 --> 00:31:18,987 What the fuck? 563 00:31:19,553 --> 00:31:21,056 - This is a joke. - Well, what if... 564 00:31:28,796 --> 00:31:30,297 Oh, hey, hey, hey. 565 00:31:30,464 --> 00:31:32,700 - No, for real. Lonni. - Lonni, stop! 566 00:31:35,736 --> 00:31:37,138 - Lonni! - It's fake. 567 00:31:37,304 --> 00:31:39,773 You guys are so gullible, man. Relax. 568 00:31:43,878 --> 00:31:44,578 - No! - Fuck. 569 00:31:44,712 --> 00:31:45,914 - What the fuck? - Lonni! 570 00:31:49,550 --> 00:31:50,718 Stop! 571 00:31:52,252 --> 00:31:53,654 No, stop! 572 00:31:54,488 --> 00:31:55,857 Dammit! 573 00:31:57,224 --> 00:31:58,358 Hey! 574 00:31:59,060 --> 00:31:59,994 Stop it, man! 575 00:32:02,229 --> 00:32:03,731 - Turn that off! Turn that... - No. No, no, no. 576 00:32:03,865 --> 00:32:05,399 - Yeah, no. - That's crazy. 577 00:32:05,532 --> 00:32:06,767 Relax. Like, it's not even real. 578 00:32:06,901 --> 00:32:08,635 No! Lonni! 579 00:32:13,540 --> 00:32:14,775 Well done, Lonni. 580 00:32:14,976 --> 00:32:17,377 You can take off your goggles now. 581 00:32:26,787 --> 00:32:29,523 This is fucked. 582 00:32:30,257 --> 00:32:31,759 Oh, my God! 583 00:32:42,971 --> 00:32:44,438 This isn't happening. 584 00:32:44,571 --> 00:32:46,306 Where's he going? 585 00:32:46,573 --> 00:32:48,109 - Fuck. - Come on! 586 00:32:48,308 --> 00:32:49,777 Wasn't that fun? 587 00:32:51,578 --> 00:32:53,882 What the fuck is going on here? 588 00:32:54,314 --> 00:32:55,482 Isn't it obvious? 589 00:32:55,716 --> 00:32:57,484 Who are you? What is this place? 590 00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:00,822 What the fuck are you? 591 00:33:02,756 --> 00:33:04,358 The question is not what am I? 592 00:33:04,758 --> 00:33:06,995 But it's what are you? All of you? 593 00:33:07,128 --> 00:33:08,362 I wanna go home. 594 00:33:08,562 --> 00:33:11,665 Now, see, Ula, this is your home now, 595 00:33:11,866 --> 00:33:13,935 except only one of you will ever leave. 596 00:33:14,102 --> 00:33:17,205 - Ximena, come on! - Why are you doing this? 597 00:33:17,337 --> 00:33:19,439 All will be revealed in due time. 598 00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:22,110 But until then you will continue to live in the house, 599 00:33:22,243 --> 00:33:25,379 until another vote is tallied and another challenge is met. 600 00:33:25,646 --> 00:33:28,549 If you refuse to participate, if you try to escape, 601 00:33:28,782 --> 00:33:30,885 if you do not comply in any way, 602 00:33:31,052 --> 00:33:33,320 a fate far worse than Nevin's awaits, 603 00:33:33,453 --> 00:33:34,388 I assure you. 604 00:33:34,521 --> 00:33:36,090 The horror and the pain 605 00:33:36,257 --> 00:33:39,260 will be unlike anything you could possibly imagine. 606 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,196 So, you must complete your obligation 607 00:33:41,328 --> 00:33:45,365 and finish what you've started. So, put on a happy face! 608 00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:47,601 Get the audience on your side! 609 00:33:47,936 --> 00:33:49,736 Win their hearts, and more importantly, 610 00:33:49,871 --> 00:33:52,472 their votes, for your fate is in their hands. 611 00:33:52,841 --> 00:33:56,144 Now, would you all please kindly adjourn to the Funhouse? 612 00:33:56,410 --> 00:33:58,980 Have yourselves a drink. You've earned it. 613 00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:01,983 Especially you, Lonni. 614 00:34:03,550 --> 00:34:05,652 Up next, Furcas's House of Fun, 615 00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:08,488 or what is now simply being called Funhouse, 616 00:34:08,622 --> 00:34:10,124 turned into a nightmare last night, 617 00:34:10,325 --> 00:34:13,094 when famed YouTube diva, Nevin Eversmith 618 00:34:13,228 --> 00:34:14,595 was beaten to death 619 00:34:14,728 --> 00:34:17,598 by season 18 bride-to-be, Lonni Byrne. 620 00:34:17,798 --> 00:34:19,834 Personally, the only nightmare I see here, 621 00:34:19,968 --> 00:34:22,070 is that people are actually eating up this shit 622 00:34:22,203 --> 00:34:24,538 and asking for seconds. I mean, sure, 623 00:34:24,671 --> 00:34:26,941 I've wanted to use Nevin as a human piñata, 624 00:34:27,075 --> 00:34:28,609 and beat him with a spiked baseball bat, 625 00:34:28,742 --> 00:34:30,011 but who hasn't? 626 00:34:30,178 --> 00:34:31,445 And unfortunately, I'd go to jail. 627 00:34:31,578 --> 00:34:33,547 Sorry, Funhouse, not buying it. 628 00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:38,619 I accept thee as my Lord and Savior... 629 00:34:39,653 --> 00:34:42,389 assured of thy mercy as long as I may live. 630 00:34:42,857 --> 00:34:45,459 Oh, Holy God. Oh, Holy Death, Holy. 631 00:34:45,692 --> 00:34:48,830 So, what're we gonna do, huh? Let's get the fuck out. 632 00:34:48,963 --> 00:34:50,999 This is online. The cops had to see that. 633 00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:53,067 Do you see any cameras here, huh? 634 00:34:53,201 --> 00:34:54,401 Slowdown. Just relax. 635 00:34:54,701 --> 00:34:57,471 Relax? Did you see what just fucking happened? 636 00:34:57,604 --> 00:34:59,773 - She murdered Nevin, man! - Shut up! 637 00:35:00,141 --> 00:35:02,143 Nobody murdered anybody! She didn't even fucking know. 638 00:35:02,277 --> 00:35:04,879 Whatever, it doesn't matter. Let's go. 639 00:35:06,814 --> 00:35:09,483 Hey. Hey. There's a way out of here. 640 00:35:09,851 --> 00:35:11,252 I can see the fucking sky. 641 00:35:11,386 --> 00:35:13,687 Are you deaf, you fucker, huh? 642 00:35:13,821 --> 00:35:15,189 Did you not hear what he said? 643 00:35:15,422 --> 00:35:18,192 We break the window, we climb, and we fucking run. 644 00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:20,361 This ain't no plexiglass, trust me. 645 00:35:20,527 --> 00:35:22,030 Just chill. We've gotta think. 646 00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:24,498 Hey! You stay if you want. I'm out. 647 00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:26,935 Maybe he's right. It looks like a way out. 648 00:35:27,201 --> 00:35:28,502 We can't just sit here. 649 00:35:28,735 --> 00:35:30,939 - He's watching us. - Oh, yeah? Let's find out. 650 00:35:31,072 --> 00:35:33,107 - No! - Hey, you fucking, fuck... 651 00:35:35,810 --> 00:35:37,979 - Watch this, you fuckers! - No! 652 00:35:51,792 --> 00:35:52,793 It's a projection. 653 00:35:53,027 --> 00:35:54,295 No, shit. 654 00:35:54,829 --> 00:35:58,099 - What is this place? - This place is your home. 655 00:35:58,299 --> 00:36:00,034 And I was very clear on what would happen 656 00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,735 if you tried to leave. 657 00:36:01,970 --> 00:36:04,705 Unfortunately, Dex has now forfeited his spot in the house 658 00:36:04,839 --> 00:36:08,242 and will no longer be eligible for the five million dollars. 659 00:36:08,608 --> 00:36:09,811 Oh, no. 660 00:36:12,213 --> 00:36:13,680 Dex, kindly 661 00:36:13,815 --> 00:36:15,183 - follow them, please. - What are you gonna do? 662 00:36:15,316 --> 00:36:17,285 You gonna shoot me, huh? Huh? 663 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,522 No, please. 664 00:36:22,723 --> 00:36:24,025 Fuck! 665 00:36:24,926 --> 00:36:29,629 Dex! Dex! 666 00:36:42,010 --> 00:36:46,114 Please... help me! 667 00:36:47,781 --> 00:36:52,020 Mother of God, please. Please. 668 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,655 My God, what's happening? 669 00:36:59,927 --> 00:37:02,096 - Please! - What is that shit? 670 00:37:03,197 --> 00:37:06,034 That shit is fluoroantimonic acid. 671 00:37:06,434 --> 00:37:08,302 It's an inorganic compound created 672 00:37:08,436 --> 00:37:12,273 by reacting hydrogen fluoride with antimonic pentafluoride. 673 00:37:12,606 --> 00:37:15,143 According to the Hammett acidity function, 674 00:37:15,309 --> 00:37:17,979 it's the most corrosive substance on earth. 675 00:37:18,146 --> 00:37:20,381 When mixed with water, the chemical reaction 676 00:37:20,515 --> 00:37:23,418 will dissolve flesh and bone within minutes. 677 00:37:23,951 --> 00:37:27,221 - Have fun with that, Dex! - Wait! 678 00:37:28,089 --> 00:37:30,690 - They're not doing that. - Oh. 679 00:37:36,563 --> 00:37:38,598 Oh, my God! 680 00:37:51,711 --> 00:37:53,181 A horrific spectacle 681 00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:54,949 has been unfolding on the internet this week, 682 00:37:55,083 --> 00:37:56,918 broadcasting live to the world. 683 00:37:57,051 --> 00:37:58,618 Authorities have yet to comment 684 00:37:58,752 --> 00:38:00,354 on the video's authenticity. 685 00:38:00,521 --> 00:38:02,256 What started as an online reality series 686 00:38:02,390 --> 00:38:03,991 is now a nightmare for a group. 687 00:38:04,125 --> 00:38:06,327 What appears to be a macabre contest, 688 00:38:06,461 --> 00:38:08,896 eight celebrities compete to survive... 689 00:38:09,030 --> 00:38:11,332 And what we know so far, is that the eight contestants 690 00:38:11,466 --> 00:38:13,733 flew into Los Angeles four days ago, 691 00:38:13,868 --> 00:38:15,136 and then vanished. 692 00:38:15,436 --> 00:38:18,139 Whether a sadistic game or an elaborate hoax, 693 00:38:18,272 --> 00:38:20,875 the show's popularity continues to skyrocket 694 00:38:21,042 --> 00:38:23,677 even after two people have allegedly been murdered. 695 00:38:23,878 --> 00:38:26,547 Authorities are currently trying to locate the source 696 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,884 of what has now been confirmed to be a live video feed 697 00:38:30,051 --> 00:38:31,519 from inside the house. 698 00:38:37,391 --> 00:38:38,792 Just kill him already! 699 00:38:38,926 --> 00:38:41,195 Oh, I'm sure he's on his last legs. 700 00:38:41,429 --> 00:38:45,867 No! 701 00:38:49,403 --> 00:38:51,873 So, take a good look and understand this, 702 00:38:52,073 --> 00:38:54,575 which now I reiterate for the second time. 703 00:38:54,842 --> 00:38:56,210 There will be no heroes here. 704 00:38:56,477 --> 00:39:00,281 No fantastical plans to escape. No happy ending. 705 00:39:00,414 --> 00:39:03,351 If you don't play the game and abide by its rules, 706 00:39:03,683 --> 00:39:05,253 this will be your fate. 707 00:39:05,453 --> 00:39:08,788 But rest assured, next time it won't be as quick and easy. 708 00:39:09,157 --> 00:39:12,260 You can expect much more pain. Much more suffering. 709 00:39:12,527 --> 00:39:14,929 So, focus your energies on accumulating votes, 710 00:39:15,463 --> 00:39:18,199 for it is the only way out of here. 711 00:39:19,799 --> 00:39:24,038 Hey, kids. The word of the day is fluoroantimonic acid. 712 00:39:24,272 --> 00:39:25,907 And our good, ole pal, El Shocker, 713 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,208 took one hell of a bath. 714 00:39:27,341 --> 00:39:28,976 ♪ El Shocker, El Shocker ♪ 715 00:39:29,110 --> 00:39:30,378 - Really? - You know. 716 00:39:30,511 --> 00:39:31,979 I mean, I can create a better CG 717 00:39:32,113 --> 00:39:33,648 with my Instagram filters. 718 00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:35,950 - Then what? - Fake! 719 00:39:37,852 --> 00:39:39,420 This can't be happening to me. 720 00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,956 Well, I hate to break it to you, girl... 721 00:39:42,789 --> 00:39:44,125 because it's happening to all of us. 722 00:39:44,458 --> 00:39:46,527 Not just to poor, little Miss Instagram. 723 00:39:46,661 --> 00:39:47,828 But look at the bright side. 724 00:39:48,462 --> 00:39:51,199 You and the twins are racking up millions of followers by now. 725 00:39:51,332 --> 00:39:52,833 - Fuck you. - What's up? 726 00:39:53,067 --> 00:39:54,502 You don't like the exposure? 727 00:39:54,801 --> 00:39:56,003 Isn't that how you make a living? 728 00:39:56,370 --> 00:39:58,339 Showing your tits and ass for the world to see. 729 00:39:58,472 --> 00:40:00,875 Yeah, and you blog about her showing her tits and ass, 730 00:40:01,075 --> 00:40:02,776 and about me, and Lonni, and anyone else 731 00:40:02,910 --> 00:40:04,345 you feel so inclined to lie about. 732 00:40:04,478 --> 00:40:07,114 I don't lie, man. I report the news you make 733 00:40:07,248 --> 00:40:08,715 by doing stupid ass shit. 734 00:40:08,849 --> 00:40:10,251 Stupid ass shit like living my life? 735 00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:12,220 You love to watch people crash and burn, 736 00:40:12,353 --> 00:40:15,122 - and you fucking exploit it. - I give people what they want. 737 00:40:15,890 --> 00:40:20,027 I give people a closer look into the fake fucking lives 738 00:40:20,194 --> 00:40:21,996 that you choose to show the world. 739 00:40:22,563 --> 00:40:23,763 That's what I do. 740 00:40:24,865 --> 00:40:26,467 Dex and Nevin are dead. 741 00:40:28,169 --> 00:40:30,871 And you're bickering about this bullshit? 742 00:40:32,273 --> 00:40:35,343 - You people are insane. - And annoying as fuck. 743 00:40:35,509 --> 00:40:37,311 Now, I think all of youse need a time-out. 744 00:40:37,545 --> 00:40:42,316 Now, who wants a drink? I'm buying. Kaz? Come on. 745 00:40:49,824 --> 00:40:51,758 I don't know if anyone is watching... 746 00:40:52,727 --> 00:40:55,896 or if this is some sick game. 747 00:40:57,698 --> 00:40:58,833 Or a nightmare. 748 00:40:59,267 --> 00:41:04,138 How is anybody expected to speak after witnessing that? 749 00:41:04,639 --> 00:41:06,240 You know, I've seen a lot of crazy shite 750 00:41:06,374 --> 00:41:09,043 in my life, but, uh, this takes the cake. 751 00:41:09,243 --> 00:41:11,778 Please, somebody help us. 752 00:41:12,079 --> 00:41:13,881 I saw them die. 753 00:41:15,082 --> 00:41:16,517 We don't deserve this. 754 00:41:16,717 --> 00:41:20,254 We're still people with a soul, and we're still human beings. 755 00:41:20,621 --> 00:41:21,889 I don't wanna die. 756 00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:26,193 To Nevin's family, I didn't know. I'm so sorry. 757 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,429 I have one thing to say to you, Furcas. 758 00:41:29,830 --> 00:41:31,032 Go to hell. 759 00:41:31,399 --> 00:41:32,133 Fuck you. 760 00:41:32,266 --> 00:41:34,935 You cowardly piece of shite. 761 00:41:35,736 --> 00:41:36,837 Goodbye. 762 00:41:44,178 --> 00:41:46,547 And now, for a unique perspective on these events, 763 00:41:46,747 --> 00:41:49,984 we turn to Grammy Award-winning pop artist, Darla Drake, 764 00:41:50,151 --> 00:41:51,585 who was once married to Kasper Nordin, 765 00:41:51,919 --> 00:41:54,555 one of the contestants currently inside the house. 766 00:41:54,689 --> 00:41:57,124 Darla, thank you for joining us during what I'm sure 767 00:41:57,258 --> 00:41:58,859 is an extremely difficult time. 768 00:41:59,327 --> 00:42:01,862 I just can't believe something like this is happening. 769 00:42:02,697 --> 00:42:05,900 It's... it's beyond words. 770 00:42:09,136 --> 00:42:11,238 To the people who are doing this... 771 00:42:11,372 --> 00:42:13,107 Kasper is a good man. 772 00:42:14,508 --> 00:42:16,510 He's never done anything to hurt anyone. 773 00:42:17,078 --> 00:42:18,379 None of these people have. 774 00:42:19,547 --> 00:42:22,883 Please, if you're listening, just let them go. 775 00:42:23,684 --> 00:42:24,919 And also, to the public 776 00:42:25,086 --> 00:42:26,587 who is watching and voting on this. 777 00:42:26,721 --> 00:42:29,290 These are people's lives that you're playing with. 778 00:42:29,623 --> 00:42:31,225 You have to stop perpetuating this. 779 00:42:31,392 --> 00:42:33,427 Somebody has to stop this. 780 00:42:34,595 --> 00:42:37,833 But what if their votes, or your vote, 781 00:42:37,965 --> 00:42:39,567 could help save Kasper? 782 00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:13,067 So, an Irishman, a Mexican, a Filipino, a Swede, 783 00:43:13,334 --> 00:43:15,136 and an American walk into a bar. 784 00:43:18,973 --> 00:43:21,275 There's gotta be a punch line in there somewhere. 785 00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:28,549 - That was nice. - What? 786 00:43:30,718 --> 00:43:31,887 To laugh. 787 00:43:32,086 --> 00:43:34,088 Well, let's keep it going, then. Fuck him. 788 00:43:34,255 --> 00:43:36,424 All right. Does any of youse know any jokes? Kasper? 789 00:43:36,858 --> 00:43:38,626 All right. I had a joke once... 790 00:43:39,593 --> 00:43:40,494 about yodeling. 791 00:43:41,295 --> 00:43:42,430 It went horribly. 792 00:43:45,232 --> 00:43:46,467 Then let's just talk. 793 00:43:46,667 --> 00:43:48,002 Yeah, we should at least get to know each other 794 00:43:48,202 --> 00:43:49,703 before we die. 795 00:43:50,872 --> 00:43:51,972 Sorry. 796 00:43:53,307 --> 00:43:54,542 What's the topic of the discussion? 797 00:43:55,075 --> 00:44:00,047 How about... what was it like being married to Darla Drake? 798 00:44:00,882 --> 00:44:02,149 Boom. 799 00:44:02,283 --> 00:44:04,185 I'm kidding, man. It's a really bad joke. 800 00:44:04,318 --> 00:44:06,253 No, no, no, I like this topic. 801 00:44:06,487 --> 00:44:08,756 I'm sorry, Ghost, but I'm a big fan of hers. 802 00:44:09,557 --> 00:44:10,791 Okay, so, what do you wanna know? 803 00:44:10,991 --> 00:44:12,393 About her shoe size. 804 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,863 And her thoughts on the climate change. 805 00:44:14,995 --> 00:44:16,096 What do you think I wanna know? 806 00:44:16,230 --> 00:44:18,199 How about start with how you met? 807 00:44:21,035 --> 00:44:24,071 It was three years ago. 808 00:44:25,206 --> 00:44:27,575 I had just moved to L.A., and I was playing 809 00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:29,977 this little gig at a bar on Sunset. 810 00:44:30,511 --> 00:44:33,514 And one night, Darla showed up. 811 00:44:34,114 --> 00:44:37,251 This was just before she blew up, 812 00:44:37,384 --> 00:44:39,587 so, I didn't know who she was. 813 00:44:40,154 --> 00:44:43,057 And, um, after the show, she came up to me. 814 00:44:43,424 --> 00:44:46,160 And to this day, I... I still can't believe 815 00:44:46,293 --> 00:44:47,528 that she was talking to me. 816 00:44:48,229 --> 00:44:51,131 We closed up, walked down the street... 817 00:44:52,066 --> 00:44:55,736 talking till the sun came up. And... 818 00:44:57,338 --> 00:44:59,206 I fell in love with her right there 819 00:44:59,773 --> 00:45:00,708 on the street. 820 00:45:01,141 --> 00:45:03,344 Two months later I'm on tour with her. 821 00:45:03,477 --> 00:45:05,446 And three months later we're married. 822 00:45:07,381 --> 00:45:09,049 It all just happened so fast. 823 00:45:09,550 --> 00:45:12,019 And what age were you when you got married, 12? 824 00:45:13,855 --> 00:45:16,056 - I was 19. - Oh. 825 00:45:16,524 --> 00:45:19,393 I guess, young and dumb really is a thing, huh? 826 00:45:19,928 --> 00:45:22,530 For the record, the whole backup singer thing 827 00:45:22,663 --> 00:45:25,366 started as a joke. I was never her backup singer. 828 00:45:25,699 --> 00:45:27,969 She just pulled me up on stage one night, 829 00:45:28,302 --> 00:45:29,370 just to mess with me. 830 00:45:29,804 --> 00:45:32,773 Headlines. "Pop star falls for backup singer." 831 00:45:33,741 --> 00:45:34,809 Totally fabricated. 832 00:45:35,242 --> 00:45:38,013 And then we did that stupid reality show. 833 00:45:38,612 --> 00:45:40,481 And I said I would never do that again. 834 00:45:42,216 --> 00:45:43,450 And here I am... 835 00:45:45,753 --> 00:45:46,654 again. 836 00:45:48,556 --> 00:45:50,257 Only this time for the money. 837 00:45:52,459 --> 00:45:55,462 Hey, go easy on yourself, Ghost. 838 00:45:55,964 --> 00:45:57,698 All right, we're all here for the money. 839 00:45:58,432 --> 00:46:00,200 I spent last summer living in my car, 840 00:46:00,334 --> 00:46:02,136 so, I can see how five million dollars 841 00:46:02,603 --> 00:46:05,472 could come in handy. Well, if I win. 842 00:46:06,206 --> 00:46:08,075 And if you lose, 843 00:46:08,309 --> 00:46:10,644 all your problems will be gone anyways. 844 00:46:11,312 --> 00:46:13,113 So, it's a win-win? 845 00:46:18,552 --> 00:46:21,488 If Furcas actually gives the winner five million. 846 00:46:21,689 --> 00:46:23,557 I don't know about that Furcas guy, 847 00:46:23,691 --> 00:46:26,027 he seems a bit sketchy, if you ask me. 848 00:46:28,662 --> 00:46:31,866 - Yep. - You guys having fun? 849 00:46:32,433 --> 00:46:33,767 You all gonna die. 850 00:46:34,768 --> 00:46:35,736 Hilarious. 851 00:46:35,971 --> 00:46:37,906 And what are we supposed to do instead, babe? 852 00:46:38,405 --> 00:46:40,674 Sit around, sleep, bitch, cry all day. 853 00:46:40,809 --> 00:46:43,611 Please tell us, how's this working out for you? 854 00:46:43,744 --> 00:46:46,246 Sorry to interrupt this riveting conversation, 855 00:46:46,380 --> 00:46:47,548 but the results are in. 856 00:46:47,816 --> 00:46:50,250 I do, however, have some exciting news. 857 00:46:50,484 --> 00:46:52,486 Since Dex's untimely death, 858 00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:54,388 the viewership has risen fivefold, 859 00:46:54,622 --> 00:46:57,658 so, a big congratulations is in order to all of you. 860 00:46:58,093 --> 00:47:01,428 Now, without further ado, let's find out who. 861 00:47:11,271 --> 00:47:12,406 Nice work, Cat. 862 00:47:12,941 --> 00:47:15,776 It seems, sometimes, less truly is more. 863 00:47:16,077 --> 00:47:18,579 Lonni, second last to second place. 864 00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:20,849 Perhaps the mental anguish you suffered 865 00:47:20,982 --> 00:47:23,450 after disposing off Nevin in such a gruesome, 866 00:47:23,617 --> 00:47:25,319 yet entertaining fashion, 867 00:47:25,452 --> 00:47:27,254 made you a more sympathetic character. 868 00:47:27,554 --> 00:47:28,823 You're a piece of shit. 869 00:47:28,990 --> 00:47:30,457 Please refrain from the clever comments 870 00:47:30,591 --> 00:47:31,659 for the time being, Mr. Nordin. 871 00:47:32,093 --> 00:47:34,194 Third place is still respectable. 872 00:47:34,728 --> 00:47:36,430 Next, we have Headstone in fourth, 873 00:47:36,730 --> 00:47:39,400 but look here, a Funhouse first, 874 00:47:39,533 --> 00:47:41,002 a tie for the bottom two. 875 00:47:41,136 --> 00:47:43,203 There is no way I tied that bitch. 876 00:47:44,672 --> 00:47:46,340 Okay. Keep talking, stupid. 877 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:47,909 - Go on, say it. - Fuck you. 878 00:47:48,143 --> 00:47:51,412 - Go to hell, skank! - I don't understand you! 879 00:47:51,545 --> 00:47:54,181 Go fuck yourself, stupid! 880 00:47:54,314 --> 00:47:57,418 Ladies, please, this is very unbecoming. 881 00:47:57,685 --> 00:48:00,320 However, this next challenge may be just the thing 882 00:48:00,454 --> 00:48:02,489 to help you work through these issues. 883 00:48:03,091 --> 00:48:06,794 So, let's just see what your challenge shall be. 884 00:48:07,261 --> 00:48:08,729 Blind Rage. 885 00:48:08,997 --> 00:48:11,833 Well, that sounds fun and therapeutic. 886 00:48:11,966 --> 00:48:15,070 So, let's all adjourn to the Kill Room, shall we? 887 00:48:18,639 --> 00:48:20,141 I'm gonna fucking kill you! 888 00:48:20,274 --> 00:48:23,011 I highly doubt you can outfight the bullet, Headstone. 889 00:48:23,711 --> 00:48:25,947 - No! No! - Hey, get your hands off her! 890 00:48:26,147 --> 00:48:28,682 - Hey! - No! 891 00:48:33,754 --> 00:48:35,689 Fuck! 892 00:48:37,926 --> 00:48:40,594 Welcome to your Blind Rage challenge. 893 00:48:40,728 --> 00:48:44,032 The rules are simple. You'll each be given an ax, 894 00:48:44,199 --> 00:48:46,101 the lights will go out, and you will fight 895 00:48:46,233 --> 00:48:47,668 until one of you is dead. 896 00:48:47,801 --> 00:48:50,105 Please don't do this to us! 897 00:48:50,237 --> 00:48:51,906 There are no pleases here! 898 00:49:00,647 --> 00:49:03,517 You're dead, girl. You're fucking dead. 899 00:49:03,684 --> 00:49:05,552 It's time to play. 900 00:49:07,688 --> 00:49:09,090 Ready? 901 00:49:09,224 --> 00:49:10,324 Lights out! 902 00:49:13,161 --> 00:49:15,395 Holy shit. Night vision. 903 00:49:21,870 --> 00:49:25,405 Oh, man, she's creeping up. Shit's about to get real. 904 00:49:25,539 --> 00:49:27,008 Yeah. Let's go, Ula. 905 00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:33,948 Come on. Watch your back! Watch your back! 906 00:49:34,149 --> 00:49:35,382 Back up, babe. 907 00:49:37,651 --> 00:49:39,921 Fucker! 908 00:49:44,058 --> 00:49:44,993 She's right there. 909 00:49:52,167 --> 00:49:54,668 I hear you, bitch! 910 00:49:57,138 --> 00:49:59,373 Get up, get up, get up! Get up! She's there, she's there! 911 00:49:59,506 --> 00:50:01,109 Lose something, bitch? 912 00:50:12,253 --> 00:50:13,654 Go on, pick it up! There! 913 00:50:18,625 --> 00:50:20,661 What a fucking shit day I'm having. 914 00:50:22,997 --> 00:50:25,799 Say something, you moron! Say something! 915 00:50:25,967 --> 00:50:28,970 I can't understand you! 916 00:50:29,103 --> 00:50:30,104 Ooh! 917 00:50:31,738 --> 00:50:34,108 Ooh, Jesus Christ. 918 00:51:48,283 --> 00:51:50,717 An ax fight in the dark between two hot chicks. 919 00:51:50,952 --> 00:51:52,353 Well played, Funhouse. 920 00:51:52,519 --> 00:51:54,088 Well played. My interest is piqued. 921 00:51:54,289 --> 00:51:55,924 Although, you could've piqued other parts of me 922 00:51:56,057 --> 00:51:57,591 had they been more scantily clad, 923 00:51:57,959 --> 00:52:00,761 but choosers can't be beggars in this crazy world of ours. 924 00:52:01,029 --> 00:52:03,898 Word on the street is, Ximena has a splitting headache. 925 00:52:11,505 --> 00:52:12,874 Hmm, duck lips. 926 00:52:38,465 --> 00:52:39,599 Yeah. 927 00:52:52,246 --> 00:52:53,780 The question everyone's asking then, 928 00:52:53,915 --> 00:52:55,249 is why can't authorities find 929 00:52:55,383 --> 00:52:57,085 the source of the Funhouse website 930 00:52:57,218 --> 00:52:59,153 and where the videos are being broadcast from? 931 00:52:59,753 --> 00:53:01,089 Yeah, I mean, there's many ways 932 00:53:01,222 --> 00:53:02,857 you can hide a website's IP address 933 00:53:02,991 --> 00:53:04,725 on the internet. Typically, they'd use 934 00:53:04,926 --> 00:53:07,527 what's called a Tor network and a dot onion site. 935 00:53:07,694 --> 00:53:09,596 This will have multiple levels of encryption 936 00:53:09,763 --> 00:53:11,432 making it virtually impossible to track down, 937 00:53:11,631 --> 00:53:15,203 but also not easily searchable. Uh, whoever's behind this, 938 00:53:15,336 --> 00:53:16,971 obviously wants as many eyes on it as possible, 939 00:53:17,105 --> 00:53:19,307 so, it has to be on a public domain 940 00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:20,640 and not on the dark web. 941 00:53:20,908 --> 00:53:22,877 Why doesn't the FBI shut down the website, 942 00:53:23,011 --> 00:53:24,644 so that the public can't see it? 943 00:53:25,046 --> 00:53:27,614 Taking away the ability for people to engage. 944 00:53:27,915 --> 00:53:29,384 Yeah, I mean, normally, they would just blackhole 945 00:53:29,516 --> 00:53:31,618 the... the IP address, but whoever's behind this 946 00:53:31,752 --> 00:53:33,087 has obviously thought of that. 947 00:53:33,287 --> 00:53:35,756 Um, they're using a deep-learning virus. 948 00:53:35,923 --> 00:53:37,358 It's a AI of some kind. 949 00:53:37,492 --> 00:53:39,894 Uh, this has, you know, changing proxies 950 00:53:40,061 --> 00:53:41,695 that act as web servers popping up 951 00:53:41,863 --> 00:53:43,431 in different countries all over the world. 952 00:53:43,965 --> 00:53:45,199 Uh, it's called onion routing. 953 00:53:45,333 --> 00:53:47,068 And with this deep-learning virus, 954 00:53:47,235 --> 00:53:50,405 it frankly makes it impossible to track down. 955 00:53:51,272 --> 00:53:54,075 Unfortunately, if I was to guess, 956 00:53:54,208 --> 00:53:57,245 I would say that this show will continue until... 957 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,681 well, I mean, until someone wins. 958 00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:07,855 Wake up! 959 00:54:16,130 --> 00:54:19,233 Wake up! 960 00:54:23,037 --> 00:54:25,907 Where are you? 961 00:54:32,847 --> 00:54:34,082 Come on, Headstone. 962 00:54:34,282 --> 00:54:36,317 Come on, you can't sleep here. Come on. 963 00:54:36,551 --> 00:54:40,154 Fuck off, Ghost! Can you just let me lay here. 964 00:54:49,430 --> 00:54:51,665 What are you doing? 965 00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:55,002 I was just trying to get him to bed. 966 00:54:55,536 --> 00:54:57,238 Had a feeling about you two. 967 00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:00,875 Come. Come sit with me, Kasper. 968 00:55:01,008 --> 00:55:03,643 I think I'm gonna head to bed actually. 969 00:55:04,145 --> 00:55:05,513 You probably should, too. 970 00:55:05,679 --> 00:55:09,317 Why? What do I have to do tomorrow? Die? 971 00:55:11,285 --> 00:55:13,521 Now, I do understand the comedy in it. 972 00:55:13,955 --> 00:55:17,657 - I'm gonna die in here. - Come on, let's get you to bed. 973 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,402 You okay? 974 00:55:29,769 --> 00:55:31,072 Okay, come on. 975 00:55:36,743 --> 00:55:38,980 Come on... it's okay. 976 00:55:39,814 --> 00:55:46,420 - And up. And down you go. - Stay with me. 977 00:55:46,653 --> 00:55:48,055 Hey, take it easy, okay? Come on. 978 00:55:48,489 --> 00:55:51,325 - You don't like me, do you? - Of course, I do. 979 00:55:52,193 --> 00:55:55,396 Then let's do it. Let's give them what they want. 980 00:55:55,963 --> 00:55:59,000 Maybe they will vote for us. 981 00:56:04,472 --> 00:56:07,608 I'm really sorry, I can't do that. I can't. 982 00:56:07,808 --> 00:56:09,743 Fucking bastard. 983 00:56:09,877 --> 00:56:11,045 Headstone, Headstone, it's... 984 00:56:11,179 --> 00:56:13,214 Fucking bastard! 985 00:56:17,285 --> 00:56:19,187 Let him go! You're gonna kill him! 986 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:23,291 He tried to fuck her! 987 00:56:28,262 --> 00:56:31,299 I've fucking seen you, Ghost! I fucking saw you! 988 00:57:19,814 --> 00:57:25,152 The wonders of alcohol, shame, regret, blackouts. 989 00:57:25,653 --> 00:57:27,722 And it almost led to our first 990 00:57:27,922 --> 00:57:29,724 non-challenge murder in the house. 991 00:57:29,991 --> 00:57:31,425 How's the neck, Kasper? 992 00:57:32,460 --> 00:57:35,329 Well, what a morose group you all are. 993 00:57:35,529 --> 00:57:36,931 You've certainly taken 994 00:57:37,131 --> 00:57:38,833 the fun out of Funhouse today, haven't you? 995 00:57:39,300 --> 00:57:42,103 Well, without further ado, let's find out who. 996 00:57:49,477 --> 00:57:52,779 Wow! Now, that is indeed a surprise. 997 00:57:52,947 --> 00:57:54,548 Kasper Nordin for the win. 998 00:57:54,949 --> 00:57:57,418 - Quite mind-boggling, actually. - Fuck you. 999 00:57:57,752 --> 00:57:59,954 And that was quite rude, 1000 00:58:00,321 --> 00:58:02,556 but perhaps effective, considering your vote count. 1001 00:58:02,723 --> 00:58:05,693 See, it seems your unwavering "fuck you" attitude 1002 00:58:05,826 --> 00:58:07,261 has made you a crowd favorite. 1003 00:58:07,461 --> 00:58:10,364 I mean, we are after all living in unprecedented times 1004 00:58:10,598 --> 00:58:12,900 where ignorance, vulgarity, and aggression 1005 00:58:13,134 --> 00:58:16,037 are all traits to be admired, so, keep it up! 1006 00:58:16,504 --> 00:58:18,906 In second place, holding strong, is Cat, 1007 00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,242 followed by Lonni, Headstone, 1008 00:58:21,442 --> 00:58:23,811 and finally, Ula. 1009 00:58:24,211 --> 00:58:26,981 I guess, even the female form on full display 1010 00:58:27,281 --> 00:58:28,716 can become tiresome. 1011 00:58:29,417 --> 00:58:32,053 We are after all living in the internet age, Ula, 1012 00:58:32,186 --> 00:58:34,789 where variety is just a click away. 1013 00:58:34,955 --> 00:58:36,891 Perhaps you should have focused 1014 00:58:37,024 --> 00:58:40,695 on being more genuine. People love authenticity. 1015 00:58:40,995 --> 00:58:45,833 I get it, okay. People hate me. They love this. 1016 00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,769 You think it hasn't been that way my whole life? 1017 00:58:48,903 --> 00:58:50,204 Do you think I don't know? 1018 00:58:50,338 --> 00:58:51,772 Do you think I didn't hear everyone talking 1019 00:58:51,972 --> 00:58:53,107 about me in school? 1020 00:58:53,507 --> 00:58:56,777 Like they still talk about me. Comment about me. 1021 00:58:56,977 --> 00:58:58,245 Like they know me. 1022 00:58:58,379 --> 00:59:01,015 "Hey, beautiful." "Hi, darling." "Hi, sexy." 1023 00:59:01,282 --> 00:59:04,552 Whore, bimbo, skank, gold-digger. 1024 00:59:04,685 --> 00:59:07,421 Do you think I don't know? Well, fuck you! 1025 00:59:07,855 --> 00:59:09,390 My name is Ursula Kosmatka. 1026 00:59:09,523 --> 00:59:11,359 I don't give a fuck what you think of me. 1027 00:59:13,861 --> 00:59:18,933 Wow. That was authentic, Ula. That was genuine. 1028 00:59:19,066 --> 00:59:21,502 That tugged at the heartstrings. 1029 00:59:21,969 --> 00:59:24,672 But unfortunately, too little too late. 1030 00:59:25,539 --> 00:59:29,043 So, let's just see what her challenge will be. 1031 00:59:29,910 --> 00:59:31,412 Forget Me Not. 1032 00:59:34,949 --> 00:59:37,785 The Forget Me Not challenge is a simple variant 1033 00:59:37,918 --> 00:59:40,755 of the perennial classic card game Concentration, 1034 00:59:41,188 --> 00:59:42,690 also known as Memory. 1035 00:59:42,957 --> 00:59:46,026 You will have two minutes to match all the card pairs. 1036 00:59:46,260 --> 00:59:47,728 If you succeed, 1037 00:59:47,863 --> 00:59:49,930 you automatically move on to the next round. 1038 00:59:50,197 --> 00:59:51,432 But if you fail, 1039 00:59:51,732 --> 00:59:54,568 well, I strongly suggest you don't fail. 1040 00:59:55,002 --> 00:59:57,638 Your time begins now. 1041 00:59:58,139 --> 01:00:00,341 Concentrate! 1042 01:00:13,254 --> 01:00:15,222 - Ula, the one on the right. - Dude, she's probably 1043 01:00:15,356 --> 01:00:17,191 - really stressed out right now. - Aw. 1044 01:00:17,324 --> 01:00:18,459 Cut her some slack. 1045 01:00:29,805 --> 01:00:31,272 Come on. 1046 01:00:38,847 --> 01:00:40,381 Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry! 1047 01:00:44,118 --> 01:00:45,286 Keep going! Come on! 1048 01:00:58,265 --> 01:01:03,204 Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, 1049 01:01:03,337 --> 01:01:09,643 five, four, three, two, one. Time's up! 1050 01:01:12,112 --> 01:01:14,215 Wow, what a barn burner. 1051 01:01:14,582 --> 01:01:16,283 I really thought you had it there, Ula, 1052 01:01:16,717 --> 01:01:19,320 but I do see how duck face and fish gape 1053 01:01:19,453 --> 01:01:21,589 can easily be mistaken for one another. 1054 01:01:22,356 --> 01:01:24,960 Bring forth the Wheel of Fun! 1055 01:01:25,927 --> 01:01:28,162 You'll have one chance to spin the wheel 1056 01:01:28,295 --> 01:01:30,364 and seal your fate. If you do the math, 1057 01:01:30,531 --> 01:01:34,702 you have a 46.7 percent chance of landing on a Quick & Easy, 1058 01:01:35,236 --> 01:01:38,305 which means you will be shot in the head point blank. 1059 01:01:38,472 --> 01:01:42,676 No pain, case closed. But there's also Pass the Buck, 1060 01:01:42,844 --> 01:01:44,612 which means you pass a new challenge 1061 01:01:44,745 --> 01:01:48,382 onto the next lowest contestant and move on to the next round. 1062 01:01:48,582 --> 01:01:50,886 Better odds than any casino, right? 1063 01:01:51,218 --> 01:01:53,254 Now, those other seven spaces, 1064 01:01:53,387 --> 01:01:55,422 you'll wanna avoid those altogether, 1065 01:01:55,623 --> 01:01:59,059 the Rat House and Impaler being especially messy. 1066 01:01:59,527 --> 01:02:01,362 If you choose not to spin, 1067 01:02:01,595 --> 01:02:04,064 I'll choose one of the nasty seven for you. 1068 01:02:04,231 --> 01:02:05,566 But wouldn't it be nice 1069 01:02:05,699 --> 01:02:07,601 to be in charge of your own destiny? 1070 01:02:07,801 --> 01:02:10,304 So, turn that frown upside down, 1071 01:02:10,437 --> 01:02:14,041 spin the wheel, and paint the town red. 1072 01:02:30,124 --> 01:02:31,826 I hope she gets the gun. 1073 01:02:32,626 --> 01:02:34,662 Pear of Anguish sounds pretty interesting. 1074 01:02:35,396 --> 01:02:37,398 You're sick. You know that? 1075 01:02:53,147 --> 01:02:56,550 The Rack! Ouch! Arguably 1076 01:02:56,684 --> 01:02:59,520 the most painful torture method ever devised. 1077 01:02:59,955 --> 01:03:02,991 This is definitely not your lucky day, Ula. 1078 01:03:03,324 --> 01:03:04,625 Prepare her. 1079 01:03:08,662 --> 01:03:10,497 - Yes! - Take her alive! 1080 01:03:19,206 --> 01:03:20,741 Ula La More. 1081 01:03:20,875 --> 01:03:22,877 Did you know your true name, Ursula, 1082 01:03:23,011 --> 01:03:26,081 derives from the Latin word meaning strong little bear? 1083 01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:29,216 Well, you certainly lived up to that name today. 1084 01:03:29,350 --> 01:03:33,054 You killed a man with your teeth, like an animal! 1085 01:03:33,587 --> 01:03:36,156 Perhaps I didn't give you enough credit, Ula. 1086 01:03:36,323 --> 01:03:40,394 It sure will be a shame to see you part with us today, 1087 01:03:40,561 --> 01:03:42,831 but alas, you cannot stay. 1088 01:03:43,098 --> 01:03:44,365 Death lies on her 1089 01:03:44,498 --> 01:03:45,867 like an untimely frost... 1090 01:03:46,001 --> 01:03:48,669 ...upon the sweetest flower of all the field. 1091 01:03:49,004 --> 01:03:52,740 - No! - Stop! 1092 01:04:03,150 --> 01:04:08,155 Look! Look at me! Look at me! For fuck's... Ula! Hey! 1093 01:04:16,597 --> 01:04:20,001 Oh, there goes an arm! 1094 01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:22,703 For fuck's sake! God! Fuck! 1095 01:04:30,979 --> 01:04:32,981 Funhouse. What the hell? 1096 01:04:33,114 --> 01:04:35,382 You go and kill off the hot Instagram model, 1097 01:04:35,516 --> 01:04:37,518 and right after she bares her soul to us? 1098 01:04:37,651 --> 01:04:39,687 I mean, do you even know who your target audience is? 1099 01:04:39,854 --> 01:04:41,755 I was starting to really like Miss La More, 1100 01:04:41,923 --> 01:04:43,691 and then you go and rip her limbs off. 1101 01:04:43,825 --> 01:04:47,261 How can you take selfies without arms? 1102 01:04:55,469 --> 01:04:58,338 Hello, everyone. 1103 01:04:58,772 --> 01:05:02,242 I have a surprise for you waiting by the green door. 1104 01:06:14,115 --> 01:06:17,351 - You're a twisted fuck. - I apologize, Kasper, 1105 01:06:17,484 --> 01:06:19,586 we couldn't find any online pictures 1106 01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:21,722 of your parents due to the fact that they died 1107 01:06:21,856 --> 01:06:23,457 in a car crash when you were just 1108 01:06:23,590 --> 01:06:24,826 three years old. 1109 01:06:25,126 --> 01:06:26,660 You, however, survived 1110 01:06:26,794 --> 01:06:28,729 to become Darla Drake's ex-husband, 1111 01:06:28,963 --> 01:06:31,732 so, that's a nice silver lining, isn't it? 1112 01:06:32,533 --> 01:06:34,668 Well, I hope this trip down memory lane 1113 01:06:34,802 --> 01:06:36,104 has brought some solace 1114 01:06:36,237 --> 01:06:38,772 into your otherwise wasted lives. 1115 01:07:15,409 --> 01:07:16,978 I'm sorry about your family. 1116 01:07:17,846 --> 01:07:20,747 It just made me realize that if I die in here, 1117 01:07:20,882 --> 01:07:22,083 what difference does it make? 1118 01:07:22,649 --> 01:07:25,854 He's right, you know? I contribute nothing. 1119 01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:29,356 - I am nothing. - Don't you dare listen 1120 01:07:29,523 --> 01:07:30,992 to that thing. 1121 01:07:31,192 --> 01:07:35,864 I will always be known as Darla Drake's ex-husband. 1122 01:07:36,563 --> 01:07:37,932 That's my legacy. 1123 01:07:41,236 --> 01:07:43,737 Believe me, I get it. You forgot you're talking 1124 01:07:43,872 --> 01:07:46,975 to a girl who dated 30 guys in front of 50 million people, 1125 01:07:47,407 --> 01:07:48,642 and was to marry one of them 1126 01:07:48,775 --> 01:07:50,311 after knowing him for, like, a month. 1127 01:07:50,845 --> 01:07:52,981 People think I'm shallow. 1128 01:07:53,848 --> 01:07:55,183 That I'm a fame whore. 1129 01:07:55,950 --> 01:07:58,685 But why? 'Cause we were trying to find someone to love? 1130 01:07:59,519 --> 01:08:01,388 Does that mean we're not good people? 1131 01:08:01,655 --> 01:08:03,657 That we don't contribute? 1132 01:08:04,691 --> 01:08:06,393 We got caught up in something. 1133 01:08:07,262 --> 01:08:10,331 It's this idea that we need to be somebody. 1134 01:08:11,099 --> 01:08:13,467 I bought into it. Thought I could find it. 1135 01:08:13,868 --> 01:08:17,338 But you... you just fell in love with a girl 1136 01:08:17,704 --> 01:08:20,975 and got caught up in her life. Big difference. 1137 01:08:22,110 --> 01:08:24,012 Social media, tabloids, 1138 01:08:24,145 --> 01:08:27,815 celebrities, fame, money, it's all bullshit. 1139 01:08:28,515 --> 01:08:33,354 It's taken us down a dark path, and it has led us right here. 1140 01:08:33,888 --> 01:08:36,590 - I have to explain about Ula. - No, you don't. 1141 01:08:36,723 --> 01:08:39,493 - Yes, I do. - You don't owe me anything. 1142 01:08:41,329 --> 01:08:43,831 And I don't feel right talking about her... 1143 01:08:45,133 --> 01:08:46,100 not now. 1144 01:09:00,181 --> 01:09:01,916 If that's the case, then why do you think 1145 01:09:02,050 --> 01:09:03,517 your marriage to Kasper didn't work out? 1146 01:09:03,851 --> 01:09:06,220 I watched Back up Love, and it seems to me 1147 01:09:06,354 --> 01:09:08,689 like you two were made for each other. 1148 01:09:10,124 --> 01:09:13,828 With Kasper, love was never the problem. 1149 01:09:15,029 --> 01:09:18,299 I know this will sound very trite and cliché, 1150 01:09:18,433 --> 01:09:22,103 but... it's complicated. 1151 01:09:23,171 --> 01:09:27,008 Living under a microscope, it's... it's complicated. 1152 01:09:28,876 --> 01:09:32,013 And he, um... he wanted kids. 1153 01:09:33,580 --> 01:09:37,185 And while I knew he would be an amazing father... 1154 01:09:39,786 --> 01:09:41,089 I don't know, I just... 1155 01:09:42,556 --> 01:09:45,960 I can't imagine bringing a child into this world. 1156 01:09:46,693 --> 01:09:47,929 Why not? 1157 01:09:48,162 --> 01:09:49,596 Turn on the news and take your pick. 1158 01:09:51,265 --> 01:09:54,601 And now, this... this Funhouse thing. 1159 01:09:55,837 --> 01:09:57,338 I just can't believe what human beings 1160 01:09:57,472 --> 01:10:01,943 - are capable of. - Do you still love Kasper? 1161 01:10:05,046 --> 01:10:06,247 I'll always love him. 1162 01:10:08,049 --> 01:10:11,052 So, without further ado, let's find out who. 1163 01:10:19,626 --> 01:10:21,462 Congratulations, Kasper. 1164 01:10:21,795 --> 01:10:24,598 Personally, I find you quite abrasive, 1165 01:10:24,731 --> 01:10:26,267 but the audience seems to like you. 1166 01:10:26,434 --> 01:10:29,603 Perhaps the chivalry shown to the recently departed 1167 01:10:29,770 --> 01:10:31,072 did not go unnoticed 1168 01:10:31,472 --> 01:10:34,175 by the more civilized portion of the voting audience. 1169 01:10:34,375 --> 01:10:35,742 I do feel that some form 1170 01:10:35,877 --> 01:10:38,946 of vindication is owed to Mr. Nordin. 1171 01:10:44,785 --> 01:10:47,855 Stay with me. 1172 01:10:49,057 --> 01:10:51,893 - You don't like me, do you? - Of course, I do. 1173 01:10:52,126 --> 01:10:54,728 Then let's do it. Maybe they will vote for us. 1174 01:10:59,033 --> 01:11:00,634 I'm sorry, I can't do that. 1175 01:11:02,270 --> 01:11:03,971 Fucking bastard. 1176 01:11:04,105 --> 01:11:06,274 - Headstone, Headstone, it's... - Fucking bastard! 1177 01:11:06,706 --> 01:11:07,942 Let him go! 1178 01:11:08,376 --> 01:11:09,811 - You're gonna kill him! - He tried to fuck her! 1179 01:11:11,979 --> 01:11:14,916 I'm sorry, Ghost. 1180 01:11:16,050 --> 01:11:18,019 Now, that we've cleared the air on that, 1181 01:11:18,152 --> 01:11:21,122 back to the count. We have Lonni in second place, 1182 01:11:21,489 --> 01:11:24,624 Cat in third, and finally, Headstone. 1183 01:11:24,758 --> 01:11:26,227 It seems your drunken antics 1184 01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,862 will only take you so far. 1185 01:11:28,162 --> 01:11:31,833 Looks like the one-trick pony has finally run out of tricks. 1186 01:11:32,100 --> 01:11:33,901 Show me the man behind the puppet 1187 01:11:34,368 --> 01:11:37,105 - and I'll show you some tricks. - All in due time. 1188 01:11:37,305 --> 01:11:41,175 For now, let's just see what your challenge shall be. 1189 01:11:43,244 --> 01:11:46,746 Death Match. The audience shall choose your fate. 1190 01:11:50,650 --> 01:11:52,220 Vapula 1191 01:11:56,958 --> 01:11:58,893 Sabnock. 1192 01:12:04,565 --> 01:12:06,633 Botis. 1193 01:12:11,038 --> 01:12:13,341 Orobas. 1194 01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:21,048 Voting is open for one hour. 1195 01:12:25,419 --> 01:12:27,822 No one's gonna vote on something like this. 1196 01:12:29,789 --> 01:12:30,892 Are they? 1197 01:12:37,832 --> 01:12:39,233 - Whoa! - Those are big dudes, 1198 01:12:39,367 --> 01:12:40,334 - man. - Yeah. 1199 01:12:40,734 --> 01:12:42,436 That painting on their face. Whoo! 1200 01:12:42,570 --> 01:12:45,072 - I like that guy. - Orobas all the way, man. 1201 01:12:45,206 --> 01:12:46,974 - That dude right there, Botis. - No, no, no, no. 1202 01:12:47,475 --> 01:12:49,076 Vapula all the way, man. 1203 01:12:52,712 --> 01:12:55,682 Come on! 1204 01:13:04,458 --> 01:13:06,994 Botis. 1205 01:13:24,778 --> 01:13:27,114 Sabnock. 1206 01:13:45,166 --> 01:13:46,968 Botis. 1207 01:13:47,134 --> 01:13:48,836 The audience has spoken. 1208 01:13:49,003 --> 01:13:51,372 Headstone versus Botis to the death. 1209 01:13:51,639 --> 01:13:54,575 If you win, you continue to the next round. 1210 01:13:54,709 --> 01:13:57,311 If you lose, well... 1211 01:14:19,233 --> 01:14:21,435 What I say now is for one person, 1212 01:14:21,569 --> 01:14:22,970 and one person only. 1213 01:14:24,538 --> 01:14:26,607 My daughter... 1214 01:14:26,741 --> 01:14:27,642 ...Nina. 1215 01:14:28,409 --> 01:14:30,077 When you grow up, I hope you never witness 1216 01:14:30,211 --> 01:14:33,047 what happened in here. I pray you never see that. 1217 01:14:33,780 --> 01:14:37,485 But I do hope that you receive this message someday, 1218 01:14:37,652 --> 01:14:39,620 so, you can understand something about me. 1219 01:14:40,288 --> 01:14:42,156 I tried to be a good father. 1220 01:14:42,789 --> 01:14:46,127 Now, I know I wasn't allowed to be around you very much 1221 01:14:46,260 --> 01:14:48,095 because of the bad choices I made. 1222 01:14:48,729 --> 01:14:51,966 Choices that had nothing to do with you. It was my fault. 1223 01:14:52,433 --> 01:14:55,069 I did that to us and for that I'm ashamed. 1224 01:14:55,802 --> 01:14:58,005 I've made so many mistakes. 1225 01:14:59,707 --> 01:15:02,443 I have so much rage. 1226 01:15:03,177 --> 01:15:07,214 But there's one thing I did do right, you. 1227 01:15:08,949 --> 01:15:10,351 You were the only thing in my life 1228 01:15:10,484 --> 01:15:14,355 that was pure, and good, and beautiful. 1229 01:15:14,889 --> 01:15:18,192 My Primrose Princess in your wee yellow dress. 1230 01:15:19,593 --> 01:15:22,296 Just remember, no matter what happens in your life, 1231 01:15:22,530 --> 01:15:25,966 that your father loved you more than anything in his. 1232 01:15:28,836 --> 01:15:33,307 You are my life... always. 1233 01:15:37,078 --> 01:15:39,180 I'll see you later. 1234 01:15:39,447 --> 01:15:42,950 And now, this is the moment fight fans watching 1235 01:15:43,084 --> 01:15:45,052 around the world have been waiting for. 1236 01:15:45,353 --> 01:15:47,955 Live from the Funhouse Kill Room! 1237 01:15:48,356 --> 01:15:50,891 A fight to the death for the undisputed 1238 01:15:51,058 --> 01:15:52,727 Funhouse Championship of the world. 1239 01:15:52,927 --> 01:15:55,329 Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, 1240 01:15:55,463 --> 01:15:58,499 a mixed martial artist holding a professional record, 1241 01:15:58,632 --> 01:16:01,402 28 wins, six losses, one no contest, 1242 01:16:01,569 --> 01:16:03,738 he stands five feet ten inches tall, 1243 01:16:03,871 --> 01:16:06,407 weighing in at a 170 and one half pounds, 1244 01:16:06,540 --> 01:16:08,676 fighting out of Dundalk, Ireland 1245 01:16:08,810 --> 01:16:12,146 James Headstone Malone. 1246 01:16:12,380 --> 01:16:13,948 Come on, buddy. Come on, you got this. 1247 01:16:14,148 --> 01:16:16,384 Introducing his opponent, fighting out of the red corner, 1248 01:16:16,550 --> 01:16:19,553 holding a perfect record of 24 kills, no losses. 1249 01:16:19,687 --> 01:16:21,789 He stands at six feet ten inches tall, 1250 01:16:21,922 --> 01:16:24,392 weighing in at 340 pounds, 1251 01:16:24,525 --> 01:16:28,496 fighting out of the Seventh Circle of Hell, Botis! 1252 01:16:31,632 --> 01:16:34,034 - Let's go, Botis. - Why would you cheer for him? 1253 01:16:34,168 --> 01:16:36,971 - It's to the death. - Look at him, he's massive. 1254 01:16:38,172 --> 01:16:40,141 Gentlemen, the rules are very simple. 1255 01:16:40,307 --> 01:16:42,643 Fight until one of you is dead. 1256 01:16:44,211 --> 01:16:45,946 Begin. 1257 01:17:14,843 --> 01:17:15,976 Yes! 1258 01:18:17,571 --> 01:18:21,475 - No! - Oh, yes, Botis! Yes! Yes! 1259 01:18:39,493 --> 01:18:42,229 - Come on, asshole! - Yeah, yeah, yeah! 1260 01:18:57,611 --> 01:18:59,113 - You got this, Headstone! - Come on! 1261 01:18:59,513 --> 01:19:02,583 - Tear it out. - Rip his fucking head off! 1262 01:19:09,991 --> 01:19:11,058 Yes! 1263 01:19:11,425 --> 01:19:12,626 He fucking did it! 1264 01:19:12,793 --> 01:19:15,129 Whoo! Yeah. 1265 01:19:15,462 --> 01:19:18,499 A fantastic display of courage, Headstone. 1266 01:19:18,766 --> 01:19:22,871 I'd even hazard a guess to say that if you absolutely had to, 1267 01:19:23,004 --> 01:19:24,538 you could keep fighting. 1268 01:19:25,372 --> 01:19:29,710 Well, you absolutely have to. 1269 01:19:34,983 --> 01:19:38,252 No! What the hell is this? No! Headstone! 1270 01:19:39,753 --> 01:19:41,422 You're a fucking liar and a snake! 1271 01:19:46,594 --> 01:19:47,561 Okay. 1272 01:19:49,030 --> 01:19:50,431 But just one last thing. 1273 01:19:51,933 --> 01:19:54,368 You know you're going to hell for all this. Right? 1274 01:19:56,704 --> 01:20:01,175 See, the thing is, I'm going there, too. 1275 01:20:02,176 --> 01:20:03,344 So, I'll be waiting for you. 1276 01:20:03,677 --> 01:20:06,647 And I'll teach you about fucking pain. 1277 01:20:08,282 --> 01:20:11,886 Hell is empty and all the devils are here. 1278 01:20:24,032 --> 01:20:27,134 - The bold will die... - As will the strong. 1279 01:20:27,836 --> 01:20:30,671 As legends, we go on. 1280 01:20:36,210 --> 01:20:37,311 Come on! 1281 01:20:40,447 --> 01:20:43,517 - Come on! - No! No! 1282 01:20:50,658 --> 01:20:52,894 No! 1283 01:20:56,196 --> 01:20:57,331 Fucking stop. 1284 01:21:27,862 --> 01:21:30,397 Okay, Funhouse, that was one hell of a fight. 1285 01:21:30,698 --> 01:21:32,800 I mean, that Headstone fella can sure take a beating. 1286 01:21:32,934 --> 01:21:34,535 But then again, we Irish have been taking them 1287 01:21:34,668 --> 01:21:36,104 - our whole lives. - Okay. 1288 01:21:36,303 --> 01:21:38,605 Sorry, just a bit of sad reflection for my people. 1289 01:21:38,739 --> 01:21:40,307 Not gonna lie, I was little disappointed 1290 01:21:40,441 --> 01:21:42,143 to see my countryman taken out that way. 1291 01:21:42,276 --> 01:21:43,544 I mean, three on one? 1292 01:21:43,978 --> 01:21:45,947 That Furcas son of a bitch is one bold-faced liar. 1293 01:21:46,081 --> 01:21:47,281 Whatever happened to the days 1294 01:21:47,681 --> 01:21:51,251 when you could trust the word of a sadistic, maniacal panda? 1295 01:21:58,093 --> 01:21:59,760 A penny for your thoughts. 1296 01:22:01,528 --> 01:22:03,430 I'm just wondering who you are. 1297 01:22:04,498 --> 01:22:06,067 What kind of person you are. 1298 01:22:07,168 --> 01:22:08,970 What it would be like to make you suffer. 1299 01:22:09,269 --> 01:22:12,173 I mean, I get that you are a sadistic animal. 1300 01:22:12,439 --> 01:22:14,608 A coward that kills innocent people. 1301 01:22:15,375 --> 01:22:16,610 Why do you do this? 1302 01:22:17,444 --> 01:22:18,880 Celebrated mediocrity 1303 01:22:19,013 --> 01:22:20,915 has become the opiate of the masses. 1304 01:22:21,049 --> 01:22:25,419 Fame with no expertise, nor talent, nor accomplishment. 1305 01:22:25,753 --> 01:22:27,989 It's a sickness that must be cleansed. 1306 01:22:28,322 --> 01:22:29,456 It's madness. 1307 01:22:29,991 --> 01:22:32,861 You're important because you married a pop star, 1308 01:22:33,061 --> 01:22:34,294 simple as that. 1309 01:22:34,762 --> 01:22:37,664 So, now, you must become the product which you so covet 1310 01:22:37,798 --> 01:22:39,533 in that pathetic life you have chosen. 1311 01:22:39,901 --> 01:22:43,004 I don't buy it. There's gotta be more to it. 1312 01:22:43,270 --> 01:22:45,606 What, Mommy and Daddy didn't love you enough? 1313 01:22:45,807 --> 01:22:49,376 You couldn't get a date to prom? Or is it chemical? 1314 01:22:49,643 --> 01:22:51,345 Fucked up circuits. 1315 01:22:57,185 --> 01:22:58,552 A penny for your thoughts. 1316 01:22:59,821 --> 01:23:02,790 You are indeed entertaining, Mr. Nordin. 1317 01:23:03,757 --> 01:23:05,359 But see, that's part of it. 1318 01:23:06,161 --> 01:23:07,061 Entertainment. 1319 01:23:08,096 --> 01:23:10,231 See, I'm doing this because I must. 1320 01:23:10,564 --> 01:23:11,966 Because somebody had to do it. 1321 01:23:12,299 --> 01:23:15,536 I mean, death and torture happen all over the world 1322 01:23:15,669 --> 01:23:18,106 every single day to so called innocent people. 1323 01:23:18,539 --> 01:23:20,541 But see, no one really cares unless it happens 1324 01:23:20,674 --> 01:23:22,643 to a specific group of people, 1325 01:23:22,911 --> 01:23:25,746 of a specific color, in a specific country. 1326 01:23:26,281 --> 01:23:27,949 So, I bring it to them live, 1327 01:23:28,216 --> 01:23:32,153 unedited, authentic, without commercial interruption. 1328 01:23:32,386 --> 01:23:33,620 And perhaps 1329 01:23:33,955 --> 01:23:35,622 you're not as innocent as you thought you were. 1330 01:23:35,824 --> 01:23:38,525 See, it's what you represent that is the problem. 1331 01:23:38,659 --> 01:23:42,729 This new Kardashianization of humanity. 1332 01:23:43,131 --> 01:23:44,431 The big decline. 1333 01:23:44,899 --> 01:23:48,335 You are part of a condition fueled by entertainment. 1334 01:23:48,535 --> 01:23:50,038 News is entertainment, 1335 01:23:50,305 --> 01:23:54,608 politics is entertainment, war is entertainment, 1336 01:23:54,775 --> 01:23:59,446 and your death, no matter how insignificant that may be... 1337 01:24:01,216 --> 01:24:02,250 is entertainment. 1338 01:24:02,884 --> 01:24:07,088 Sure, some will weep for you, others will laugh, 1339 01:24:07,354 --> 01:24:09,958 but make no mistake, the vast majority of people 1340 01:24:10,091 --> 01:24:13,493 who watch you die will feel absolutely nothing. 1341 01:24:13,828 --> 01:24:15,429 If you die in this house, 1342 01:24:15,596 --> 01:24:17,798 the people that watch will go to bed the same at night, 1343 01:24:17,999 --> 01:24:20,467 wake up the next morning, and go about their lives 1344 01:24:20,601 --> 01:24:22,636 like you never even existed at all. 1345 01:24:22,904 --> 01:24:26,174 And then they'll find the next new, shiny object. 1346 01:24:26,307 --> 01:24:27,674 That is entertainment. 1347 01:24:27,842 --> 01:24:31,312 In the end, we are all just animals, Kasper, 1348 01:24:31,712 --> 01:24:35,649 primitive and self-serving until that very end comes. 1349 01:24:36,951 --> 01:24:39,053 So, all that garbage you just spouted, 1350 01:24:39,187 --> 01:24:42,156 makes you, what, our judge, jury, and executioner? 1351 01:24:42,556 --> 01:24:43,925 It justifies murder? 1352 01:24:44,826 --> 01:24:46,560 Oh, human beings love murder. 1353 01:24:46,861 --> 01:24:49,264 We love violence. We love death. 1354 01:24:49,429 --> 01:24:51,431 On television in this country, 1355 01:24:51,632 --> 01:24:53,667 a woman's breasts are more censored 1356 01:24:53,835 --> 01:24:54,869 than a slit throat, 1357 01:24:55,236 --> 01:24:58,438 the word fuck more than a severed head. 1358 01:24:58,705 --> 01:25:01,475 And look no further than any comment thread 1359 01:25:01,608 --> 01:25:03,144 of any social media platform 1360 01:25:03,344 --> 01:25:05,914 to see how quickly a harmless debate 1361 01:25:06,047 --> 01:25:09,250 can devolve into aggression, violence, and hate. 1362 01:25:09,884 --> 01:25:11,853 What I'm saying is, Mr. Nordin, 1363 01:25:12,086 --> 01:25:15,390 that same instinct lies in both you and in I. 1364 01:25:16,024 --> 01:25:18,259 Except I choose to embrace it. 1365 01:25:19,093 --> 01:25:22,696 I hate to tell you this... but that thing 1366 01:25:23,031 --> 01:25:28,602 that lives in you... has never, and will never live in us. 1367 01:25:29,569 --> 01:25:31,505 Oh, I'm betting that it does... 1368 01:25:32,606 --> 01:25:35,810 and that it will reveal itself very, very soon. 1369 01:25:40,949 --> 01:25:44,352 Well, don't I feel like the third wheel here. 1370 01:25:44,785 --> 01:25:46,888 How about I give you two some privacy? 1371 01:25:47,322 --> 01:25:48,455 Good talk. 1372 01:25:52,393 --> 01:25:53,694 Look, I, um... 1373 01:25:55,296 --> 01:25:56,797 I'm glad you're here. 1374 01:25:58,299 --> 01:25:59,499 Oh, no. That... 1375 01:26:00,201 --> 01:26:01,468 Here, just... 1376 01:26:02,502 --> 01:26:06,640 I just mean, I'm glad I got the chance to know you... 1377 01:26:07,875 --> 01:26:09,676 even if it was in here. 1378 01:26:11,578 --> 01:26:12,713 Me, too. 1379 01:26:15,249 --> 01:26:17,551 Sure wish it could have been someplace else, though, 1380 01:26:17,684 --> 01:26:19,454 like a grocery store. 1381 01:27:05,066 --> 01:27:06,467 Hmm. Okay. 1382 01:27:21,548 --> 01:27:27,288 ♪ You're nobody You're nobody... ♪ 1383 01:27:34,594 --> 01:27:36,030 Oh. 1384 01:28:33,554 --> 01:28:36,858 And then there were three. You've come so far... 1385 01:28:37,058 --> 01:28:39,693 Save your breath, asshole. Just get on with it. 1386 01:28:40,094 --> 01:28:42,997 Well, someone certainly woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 1387 01:28:43,131 --> 01:28:44,832 Mind you, a bed that wasn't used 1388 01:28:44,966 --> 01:28:46,700 for much sleeping last night, 1389 01:28:46,834 --> 01:28:48,635 but I digress. 1390 01:28:48,802 --> 01:28:50,505 So, at the behest of Kasper, 1391 01:28:50,670 --> 01:28:53,307 without further ado, let's find out who. 1392 01:29:00,414 --> 01:29:02,749 And again, it's Kasper Nordin by a nose, 1393 01:29:02,884 --> 01:29:04,352 followed closely by Lonni. 1394 01:29:04,552 --> 01:29:07,121 It appears, last night's erotic escapade 1395 01:29:07,255 --> 01:29:10,491 may have paid off, star-crossed lovers. 1396 01:29:11,292 --> 01:29:14,728 And then we have Cat, the quiet queen of cute. 1397 01:29:15,163 --> 01:29:17,731 Looks like that routine has finally worn thin, 1398 01:29:18,065 --> 01:29:21,169 so, let's just see what your challenge shall be. 1399 01:29:21,869 --> 01:29:23,337 Chess Master. 1400 01:29:24,005 --> 01:29:27,308 This should be right up your alley, Cat. 1401 01:29:49,630 --> 01:29:52,200 Found it. Grady, Oklahoma. 1402 01:29:55,336 --> 01:29:58,272 Welcome to the Chess Master challenge. 1403 01:29:58,673 --> 01:30:00,174 If you are victorious, 1404 01:30:00,308 --> 01:30:02,810 you will receive a free pass to the next round. 1405 01:30:03,010 --> 01:30:07,181 But if I win, you must spin. Any questions? 1406 01:30:08,916 --> 01:30:10,484 Then ladies first. 1407 01:30:26,033 --> 01:30:30,371 Ah, Grunfeld. Very interesting. Not bad, 1408 01:30:30,571 --> 01:30:33,274 but not very original for a grand master. 1409 01:30:33,574 --> 01:30:35,810 Knight to king's bishop three. 1410 01:30:46,721 --> 01:30:48,889 Pawn to king's knight three. 1411 01:30:56,030 --> 01:30:57,865 Bishop to king three. 1412 01:31:08,943 --> 01:31:10,278 Impressive. 1413 01:31:18,119 --> 01:31:20,488 Bishop to queen's bishop five. 1414 01:31:24,225 --> 01:31:25,159 Check. 1415 01:31:27,161 --> 01:31:29,463 Knight to king six. 1416 01:31:30,665 --> 01:31:31,565 Check. 1417 01:31:36,971 --> 01:31:39,307 Knight to queen's bishop six. 1418 01:31:41,942 --> 01:31:43,044 Check. 1419 01:31:47,581 --> 01:31:50,985 Rook to queen's bishop six. 1420 01:31:51,752 --> 01:31:52,920 Checkmate. 1421 01:32:03,597 --> 01:32:07,101 Well played. 1422 01:32:07,501 --> 01:32:11,706 Clearly, you were influenced by Byrne versus Fischer 1956. 1423 01:32:11,839 --> 01:32:13,174 Game of the century. 1424 01:32:13,441 --> 01:32:16,277 You are truly formidable. I mean that sincerely. 1425 01:32:16,544 --> 01:32:20,948 But still you did not win, so, you must spin. 1426 01:32:52,713 --> 01:32:56,517 Ladies and gentlemen, Cat Zim has passed the buck. 1427 01:32:56,818 --> 01:33:00,856 Another Funhouse first. This means a new challenge 1428 01:33:00,988 --> 01:33:03,457 will be passed onto Lonni Byrne. 1429 01:33:08,229 --> 01:33:11,565 Get out of my way. It's over. Get out of my way! 1430 01:33:11,699 --> 01:33:14,769 - Let me take her place. - That's not how this works. 1431 01:33:15,169 --> 01:33:16,270 Please, just let me take her place. 1432 01:33:16,537 --> 01:33:18,506 A valiant gesture, Mr. Nordin, 1433 01:33:18,706 --> 01:33:22,076 - but there are in fact rules. - You make the rules! 1434 01:33:22,410 --> 01:33:23,611 What do you fucking care? 1435 01:33:23,744 --> 01:33:26,313 Please, just let me do the challenge. 1436 01:33:26,480 --> 01:33:27,415 You are indeed 1437 01:33:27,581 --> 01:33:30,718 a pestilent little fuck, Kasper Nordin. 1438 01:33:31,419 --> 01:33:34,722 But seeing as I do love a good Harlequin romance, 1439 01:33:34,890 --> 01:33:38,626 and this situation definitely has all of the trappings of one, 1440 01:33:38,793 --> 01:33:40,896 albeit dripping with cheese, 1441 01:33:41,462 --> 01:33:44,365 still I will allow you to take her place. 1442 01:33:44,732 --> 01:33:47,735 No, no, no. No, you can't do this. 1443 01:33:47,869 --> 01:33:51,739 - No, you're not doing this. No! - It's okay. It's okay. Shh. 1444 01:33:52,273 --> 01:33:53,641 It's okay. 1445 01:34:23,804 --> 01:34:28,442 Kasper Nordin, let's just see what your challenge will be. 1446 01:34:30,010 --> 01:34:32,346 Pistols At Dawn! How exciting. 1447 01:34:32,580 --> 01:34:36,517 But who will you face? I know, Lonni Byrne! 1448 01:34:38,185 --> 01:34:43,859 What? No, no, no. Fuck you! We had a deal! We had a deal! 1449 01:34:44,058 --> 01:34:45,259 I told you 1450 01:34:45,693 --> 01:34:47,528 there would be no heroes here, and there certainly 1451 01:34:47,661 --> 01:34:51,499 would be no martyrs. Like you said, I make the rules! 1452 01:34:52,066 --> 01:34:54,568 If you had just kept your filthy trap shut, Kasper, 1453 01:34:54,702 --> 01:34:56,504 we wouldn't be in this position, would we? 1454 01:34:56,770 --> 01:34:59,607 Now, you will each receive a pistol. 1455 01:34:59,908 --> 01:35:04,111 Stand back-to-back. On my count, take ten paces, 1456 01:35:04,245 --> 01:35:05,847 turn, and fire. 1457 01:35:06,013 --> 01:35:08,616 If you fail to participate, or if you refuse to fire, 1458 01:35:08,749 --> 01:35:11,218 you'll each have to face the wheel. 1459 01:35:12,286 --> 01:35:15,389 Take your pistols and positions, please. 1460 01:35:18,927 --> 01:35:20,294 Or... 1461 01:35:20,528 --> 01:35:22,263 ...if you prefer, we could always put Lonni 1462 01:35:22,429 --> 01:35:23,664 in the Brazen Bull, 1463 01:35:23,832 --> 01:35:26,233 cook her alive, and then force feed-her to you 1464 01:35:26,367 --> 01:35:28,602 for dinner. Totally your call. 1465 01:35:34,275 --> 01:35:35,676 It's okay. 1466 01:35:35,844 --> 01:35:36,744 It's okay. 1467 01:35:52,928 --> 01:35:57,464 Goodnight, goodnight. Parting is such sweet sorrow, 1468 01:35:57,698 --> 01:36:00,601 so, I shall say goodnight till it be morrow. 1469 01:36:00,768 --> 01:36:02,770 On my count. One... 1470 01:36:04,071 --> 01:36:05,205 - Two. - ...two... 1471 01:36:06,307 --> 01:36:07,441 three... 1472 01:36:08,709 --> 01:36:09,811 four... 1473 01:36:11,211 --> 01:36:12,379 five... 1474 01:36:13,581 --> 01:36:14,515 six... 1475 01:36:15,716 --> 01:36:16,617 seven... 1476 01:36:17,986 --> 01:36:19,086 eight... 1477 01:36:19,921 --> 01:36:21,255 nine... 1478 01:36:23,157 --> 01:36:24,291 ten. 1479 01:36:40,008 --> 01:36:41,675 Get back! We've got a Bomb! 1480 01:36:41,810 --> 01:36:42,743 Get the Bomb Squad! 1481 01:37:20,015 --> 01:37:21,448 We have a winner! 1482 01:37:22,716 --> 01:37:24,151 Cat Zim! 1483 01:38:20,741 --> 01:38:23,644 Well, it's all over but the proverbial crying, 1484 01:38:23,777 --> 01:38:25,814 culminating in a Shakespearean tragedy 1485 01:38:25,947 --> 01:38:27,115 for the ages. 1486 01:38:27,448 --> 01:38:29,084 Personally, I think Kasper and Lonni, 1487 01:38:29,216 --> 01:38:31,152 should have turned their guns on those dirty pandas 1488 01:38:31,285 --> 01:38:33,554 and shot their way out Butch and Sundance style, 1489 01:38:33,754 --> 01:38:36,323 made their way down to Vegas and gotten married. 1490 01:38:36,825 --> 01:38:39,894 But then again, those pandas had machine guns. 1491 01:38:40,661 --> 01:38:42,296 And then the one who doesn't even speak 1492 01:38:42,529 --> 01:38:46,266 wins the whole thing? I guess, less truly is more. 1493 01:38:47,068 --> 01:38:48,335 Or maybe it was the masturbating. 1494 01:38:48,469 --> 01:38:49,536 Who knows? 1495 01:38:50,071 --> 01:38:51,873 Pete Sake, out. 1496 01:39:06,221 --> 01:39:07,621 Cat Zim, the lone survivor 1497 01:39:07,755 --> 01:39:09,256 of the horrific reality series, 1498 01:39:09,389 --> 01:39:10,657 Funhouse, was found this morning 1499 01:39:10,791 --> 01:39:12,459 by a motorist on the remote road 1500 01:39:12,726 --> 01:39:15,596 near the town of Florence, on the Oregon coast. 1501 01:39:24,738 --> 01:39:26,141 The grisly discovery 1502 01:39:26,273 --> 01:39:27,641 was made by the FBI SWAT team 1503 01:39:27,775 --> 01:39:29,510 who raided the compound. The device, 1504 01:39:29,643 --> 01:39:31,779 which was initially believed to be a bomb, 1505 01:39:31,913 --> 01:39:34,215 was later found to be a decoy server, 1506 01:39:34,348 --> 01:39:35,749 planted by the culprits 1507 01:39:35,884 --> 01:39:37,684 to divert authorities from their trail. 1508 01:39:37,952 --> 01:39:39,988 As of now, there are still no suspects 1509 01:39:40,121 --> 01:39:41,222 in the case. 1510 01:39:41,655 --> 01:39:43,191 Welcome back to the Chuck Thorn Show. 1511 01:39:43,357 --> 01:39:46,227 I've been speaking with tech titan, Nero Alexander, 1512 01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:47,962 owner of over 70 companies, 1513 01:39:48,096 --> 01:39:51,465 ranging from construction, to biofuels, pharmaceuticals, 1514 01:39:51,698 --> 01:39:53,902 AI, and now, even nanotechnology. 1515 01:39:54,235 --> 01:39:57,538 Nero, now, you've accomplished what so few entrepreneurs have. 1516 01:39:57,671 --> 01:39:58,907 You've built an empire 1517 01:39:59,040 --> 01:40:00,674 with literally no help from anyone. 1518 01:40:00,842 --> 01:40:03,443 You didn't inherit any wealth, whatsoever. And at one point, 1519 01:40:03,577 --> 01:40:06,014 you were the youngest self-made billionaire, 1520 01:40:06,181 --> 01:40:08,283 that's with a B, on the planet. 1521 01:40:08,682 --> 01:40:12,553 I'm semi-retired now. I'm trying to have more fun. 1522 01:40:13,154 --> 01:40:14,688 So, to all the budding entrepreneurs 1523 01:40:14,823 --> 01:40:16,790 out there that look up to you as an example 1524 01:40:16,925 --> 01:40:19,326 of what's possible, what do you say to them? 1525 01:40:19,828 --> 01:40:21,930 I just feel the majority of the youth today 1526 01:40:22,130 --> 01:40:25,332 want something for nothing. They want fame and fortune 1527 01:40:25,499 --> 01:40:27,268 for really doing as little as possible. 1528 01:40:27,836 --> 01:40:30,404 It's the scientist who's the role model, 1529 01:40:30,637 --> 01:40:33,373 the physicist, the engineer, the inventor. 1530 01:40:33,975 --> 01:40:35,776 Not someone whose only contribution 1531 01:40:35,910 --> 01:40:40,414 to humanity is a sex tape, or a reality TV show, 1532 01:40:40,882 --> 01:40:43,284 or millions of social media followers. 1533 01:40:43,417 --> 01:40:46,821 I mean, it's madness. 1534 01:40:48,223 --> 01:40:49,723 So, I guess, I would say, 1535 01:40:49,991 --> 01:40:53,127 do something that contributes to society. 1536 01:40:53,962 --> 01:40:55,063 I know I have. 1537 01:41:34,568 --> 01:41:35,870 Cat Zim. 1538 01:41:38,306 --> 01:41:42,010 Why, you are indeed full of surprises, aren't you? 1539 01:42:00,161 --> 01:42:02,864 Did you have fun? 1540 01:42:04,065 --> 01:42:06,533 Yes. 1541 01:42:07,567 --> 01:42:08,769 But next time... 1542 01:42:09,837 --> 01:42:13,774 I'm not letting you win at chess. 1543 01:42:29,016 --> 01:42:34,016 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 1544 01:42:36,563 --> 01:42:38,866 ♪ How many votes Is one life worth ♪ 1545 01:42:39,167 --> 01:42:41,468 ♪ Before you rest Into the earth ♪ 1546 01:42:41,668 --> 01:42:43,972 ♪ Pain is all you ever see ♪ 1547 01:42:44,105 --> 01:42:46,540 ♪ Hate will let The one will leave ♪ 1548 01:42:46,773 --> 01:42:48,876 ♪ How many likes for a life? ♪ 1549 01:42:49,077 --> 01:42:51,511 ♪ Decency is under the knife ♪ 1550 01:42:51,879 --> 01:42:54,115 ♪ All media is social now ♪ 1551 01:42:54,548 --> 01:42:56,583 ♪ A multi-media pile drive ♪ 1552 01:42:56,851 --> 01:43:01,255 ♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪ 1553 01:43:17,005 --> 01:43:19,140 ♪ Beyond the door The killer awaits ♪ 1554 01:43:19,340 --> 01:43:24,112 ♪ Spin the wheel, seal you fate Miss the rack, best of luck ♪ 1555 01:43:24,245 --> 01:43:27,015 ♪ Pray to God You pass the buck ♪ 1556 01:43:27,148 --> 01:43:29,516 ♪ Ignorance has swept the nation ♪ 1557 01:43:29,716 --> 01:43:32,053 ♪ Closer to annihilation ♪ 1558 01:43:32,186 --> 01:43:37,025 ♪ A remedy is on the line, Welcome to the bigger crime ♪ 1559 01:43:37,392 --> 01:43:41,863 ♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪ 1560 01:44:37,919 --> 01:44:42,622 ♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪ 1561 01:44:58,039 --> 01:45:02,877 ♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪ 1562 01:45:23,297 --> 01:45:28,002 ♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪ 1563 01:45:30,938 --> 01:45:33,207 Yes, Gary speaking. 1564 01:45:34,242 --> 01:45:38,678 Nevin? No, he's on some show, Funhouse something. 1565 01:45:39,514 --> 01:45:40,780 What? 1566 01:45:41,015 --> 01:45:42,749 He's dead? 1567 01:45:43,650 --> 01:45:45,186 Human piñata? 1568 01:45:45,987 --> 01:45:47,188 That's fucked up. 1569 01:45:49,689 --> 01:45:52,093 Uh, did we still get the 100K? 1570 01:45:55,129 --> 01:45:58,299 Fuck me. Can I have another Mai Tai? 122672