All language subtitles for A Christmas Witness [2021]

All clear, Mr. DeNosso.

After all these years, you can never be
too careful.

That's why I made it as far as I did all
these years.

I'll get it.

Christmas is coming.

The snowflakes will be falling. It's the
most wonderful time of year.

Don't hang up. You're talking.

Put the pencil on the tree. The rest of
Christmas is coming, my

dear.

It's the only time of year the wretches
fly.

You can't be them unless they ride
across the sky.

I've got mistletoe that needs to be put
to good use, Dean.

Don't you think that's better suited for
your husband, Mrs. Donato?

You're always turning me down.

I don't do marriage.

Oh, but you do everything else from what
I hear from the maid.

Your husband owns the cement company.

I can only imagine what he would do if
he found out I betrayed him.

Yeah, well, he also owns you.

And since we have joint custody of
everything, that makes you half mine.

Your husband's waiting for me.

And that I want you to be savoring my
best body.

I'm definitely allergic to nuts.

But even if I wasn't...

It was never going to happen between you
and me, Ms.

Centenozo.

You're finished.

Mona.

Where did you used to hang out before
you joined the Witness Production

Barza Pianos. Yeah, so where do you
think your ex would look for you if he

wanted to find you?

I get where you're going, okay? It's
just... I miss playing.

I miss being seen.

Hanging out in the apartment is so...

Boring. I know, I get it. You can't be
the person you were before with Zach.

Fine. I'm taking you shopping.

Where are you going? Your shit just
started.

It just ended.

I'm going back to the piano.

She's coming with me.

Very clever.

Interesting.

You hid the goods inside the nuts,
considering.

Well, that's why I'm not tempted to
pocket a few.

Aren't you a funny guy?

Giovanni's putting the other bags under
the Christmas tree.

Good. We'll pass them out tonight at the
party.

How long have you been with me?

Ten years.

Six years longer than my current wife.

I've always been able to count on you.

But above everything else, I value
loyalty.

Although I'm not as glamorous like your
father was.

We developed a father -son type of
loyalty, huh?

I'm going to tell Dino.

Thank you, sir.

Our associates are going to love their
gifts.

Hey, honey, the feds are going to see us
now, huh? We do see you, Albert and

Oslo. This is a raid. You're under
arrest.

I'm not charged.

Smuggling and murder.

Murder? I'm an undercover agent.

Oh, that can't possibly be true.

When did this alleged murder take place?

Tuesday night, between 7 and 8.

Well, my husband was with me.

We had an early evening, and we were in
bed watching game shows.

He likes the spinning wheel.

I suggest you focus on him.

Dean, how could you? Murder?

How's it going in there?

Abominably. I never... be caught dead in
an ugly Christmas sweater.

That's the point.

Mona, if I'm going to keep you safe...
I'm not kidding.

Mona, I'm serious.

Okay, okay. You are very talented.

That's how I met my ex, you know.

Yeah. He said I was a siren.

I never thought I'd end up singing in
the fits about him.

I'm sorry, Jesse.

I really do appreciate all you do for
me.

I know it's hard being

alone, especially on Christmas.

Let me see if you have music.

What are you doing for Christmas?

Oh, I, um... Why don't you come and hang
out with me?

We can, I don't know, make sugar cookies
and drink wine.

Oh, that's a very sweet offer, Mona.

Maybe if I'm not working.

Well, you and you alone know where to
find me.

That's right.

Agent Chen.

Temple. I need you for an assignment
ASAP. How ASAP?

Tomorrow. But it's only for a week.
Okay.

We need you to sit on a witness until he
testifies against Albert DeNozzo on

December 27th. I heard about the bus.

Congratulations. Thanks.

Name is Dean Kupo.

The only way the charges will stick is
with his testimony.

He was reluctant to turn until his boss
tried to pin a murder on him.

It's either you or Agent Harris.

I see.

Agent Harris has a family and it's
Christmas.

Email me everything you have on Google.

Thanks, Jessie.

Meet me at the diner tomorrow at 0800.

Here's your new cover identity.

Be sure to look it over.

Will do.

It's important you follow protocol for
your safety.

Yeah, sure thing.

I'm gonna grab some more coffee.

Oh, bye.

Hey, man, I've had enough of you.

Sorry, sir.

Officer! That I'm really, really sorry.

The Incubo.

Meet Federal Marshal Jesse Temple.

Quite an entry.

Hmm. Nutmeg with, uh, I think it's a
cinnamon.

Intrigue?

Annoyed.

Marshal Temple will be babysitting you
in the next few days. Her? Just her?

My fate is in the hands of a chick who
can't duck?

No offense.

Well, I'm past that.

Her track record is stellar.

She's all yours, Temple.

Merry Christmas.

Agent Chen.

You have to feed on your new profile?

Yeah, I'll get around to it.

Sure you do.

So, what five -star hotel are we going
to be hanging out at for Christmas?

I've got fond memories of Penthouse
Suite and Honolulu.

Lucky you.

As long as it's got a pool, a jacuzzi, a
bar, some movie channels, I'm good to

go. We'll go where Uncle Sam tells you
to go.

I'm turning state's evidence for you
guys.

Taking down Denazo should be worth
keeping your start when this happens.

The goal isn't keeping a low -level
criminal like you, Mr.

Kupo.

Keeping the target off your back.

Oh, and you're going to keep me safe.

Oh, darling.

How you holding up? What do you think
I'm holding up? I know, sugar.

God, can you believe that rat turned on
you?

If I go down, you'll lose everything.

Oh, we are not going to let that happen.

We are not going to let some Adonis
looking twit take us down.

What do you suggest?

I'll figure it out.

And I will handle it.

You got to make it look like an
accident.

No guns.

We can't have this type back to us. Of
course, darling.

I'll put Rudy on it.

Careful.

Take a walk.

You got any smokes?

Fresh out, buddy.

I'll take you every night I want. Go get
me some.

Here. The gateway in.

You're joking, right?

I don't joke on duty.

I don't think you joke when you're off
duty. This is a controlled environment

where I can track who comes and who
goes.

What do you know?

I bet they don't even have soap.

Happy holidays.

I'm Thelma.

Welcome to the Gateway Inn.

Thank you. Reservation 100.

Temple.

You're Jesse Temple?

Yes.

And? I'm Dean. Derek.

Derek. Derek.

My brother.

Right, the brother.

The wayward brother.

If you're that wayward, I could get you
your own room.

We have lots of vacancy.

Oh, I think the Galaxy Room is giant.
fine for us, sibling.

Yeah, we're very close.

Wow.

You got some moves, Jesse Temple.

I'll teach you sometime.

You almost blew our cover.

We better take this seriously.

Okay, I got it. And if you ever touch me
again, I will snap your wrist like a

dead branch on a Christmas tree.

God, I'm kidding.

Well...

We got your stuff.

Oh, good.

I could use a shower.

You need to follow me in here?

Because there's room for two. Oh, enough
room for you and your ego?

Oh,

you, uh... Let's bring it to the other
side.

Are you implying that because I'm not
following through your tired Casanova

routine that I'm not attracted to men?

By the way, having a mugshot and a
resume that warrants a future of three

and a cot?

No real big turn on.

I always went down the river myself, you
know.

And then Denaza made you an offer you
couldn't refuse?

He recruited me after my father passed
away.

In prison?

I had to pay back his debt to make sure
my mom was safe.

Your mom moved on.

She remarried.

Yeah, I'm an accountant.

Boring, but at least it's taken care of.

Wait, how do you know about my mom?

All part of the job.

Must be a grind.

Why don't you take a bed? I'll sleep on
the couch.

It is a grind.

Which is why I'm on the couch near the
door with a weapon to protect you.

Would you take a bullet for me?

Unfortunately, yes.

Unfortunately? What do you want me to
do? Yay. I mean, so far your behavior,

other than your preceding testimony,
doesn't exactly warrant a solid solo

But I get a yes.

A yes that you would take a bullet for
me.

Yes, you get a yes with an unfortunately
preceding yes.

Oh, dial back to me, GoPro.

I'd literally take a bullet for any and
all of my witnesses.

It's in the job description.

I love Christmas lights.

Well, come give me a hand, wayward
brother.

Life is short.

Like you said, I could end up in the
slammer.

A life of three hots and a cough.

This could be my last opportunity to go
string some Christmas lights. May I?

Please?

Where do I find you?

I love when you see this, Velma.

It's going to be amazing.

Hey, Mona.

Everything okay?

Yeah, sorry to bother you.

I was bored and almost left to go to a
bar and thought better of it.

Glad you resisted the urge.

Why don't you come over for a glass of
wine?

Mona, I'd love to, but I'm working.

You making them wear ugly Christmas
sweaters, too?

Well, I should.

Very well.

Uh, he?

He's a handful.

A basket of glazed donuts?

Handful? Or taking out smelly garbage?
Handful.

I'm not sure.

Alleged crime boss Albert DeNozzo was
arrested this week, charged with

and the murder.

of an undercover federal agent, given
Donoso's longtime rumors involving

organized crime and the seriousness of
these charges.

A federal judge came out today and
decided not to grant bail, so the

will likely be spending Christmas behind
bars. Now, Donoso has longtime evaded

criminal prosecution, decades now, but
that might change here because the

Justice Department is rumored to have a
witness.

In protective custody, a former mom
lieutenant who was set to give sworn

testimony right after Christmas.

At a press conference today, DOJ
spokesperson Alyssa Bonchik said...

Oh,

I'll make it look like an accident.

But this one...

Never leave home without.

Lights will be coming on.

Hey, Jamie.

What's the deal with all Christmas
lights, babe?

Lights are happy, bright, festive.

Some people like fireworks. For me, it's
all about Christmas lights.

And let there be lights.

That's very pretty.

You know, if you're into that, Happy
Christmas movie type pretty?

What are you talking about? This is way
better.

Okay, you know what you're doing.

What can I say?

I know how to turn things on.

Does everything with you always have to
be so sexual?

I guess that's just what I'm known for.

You've been known for other things.

What do you want to do for dinner?

Is there one next to dinner?

I took the liberty of ordering you
something.

My treat for helping me earlier.

I hope you like burgers.

Thelma, that is so sweet. Thank you.

And your movie channel's turned on now.

I bet my affection for burgers wasn't
mentioned in my dossier.

Nuts. Is the only food item highlighted?

No.

So, what do you want to watch?

Oh, I don't know.

You better tell me or I'm going to put
on one of those holiday romance movies.

God, no. Please.

What do you want to watch?

I like Homer.

But, like, classic horror. The British
one. From the 50s and 60s.

I love those.

The bobbin' dolls are the better.

Sure it is.

So why horror?

My grandfather and I used to watch them
together.

That's sweet.

Oh, hey, see this one?

Attack of the Mummies?

Yeah, it's awesome.

What do you think?

You have to really inhabit the character
of the mummy.

Did you ever dress up as a mummy for
Halloween?

I could probably direct that movie.

Can't hear the movie.

I know, but turn the volume up. Okay,
all right.

Here comes the good part.

I know the thing.

Remember Aliens?

You're ruining the movie.

The claw, it's gonna get you.

Oh, movie's over.

Bedtime already.

Yeah. Yeah.

Bye,

Jesse.

You're not very good at amusing
yourself, are you?

Amusement is best shared with someone
nubile and agile. I

get it.

Have you ever had a relationship that
wasn't shallow and meaningless?

Have you ever had a relationship that
was shallow and meaningless?

No.

That's your problem.

I don't have a problem.

You are wound up tighter than a
Christmas drum.

I need to relax.

I take my job and the safety of the
people I care for very seriously.

We can't just hole up in this motel room
forever.

Well, lucky for you, your gal Selma
loaded you up on cable.

Life is meant to be lived, not watched.

Can't we just go down to that little
mall down the street?

I bet they have some clothing stores.

And what is that supposed to mean?

Well, we're supposed to be undercover,
right?

You reek of law enforcement.

And Drab really doesn't do much for your
form.

What do you suggest?

Drabby stilettos?

That would be a start.

So what's the latest?

I should hear any moment.

That the call was delivered.

And that the name has been crossed off
the naughty list.

You remember what I told you? You have
to make it look like an accident.

This cannot be tied back to us in any
way, sweetheart. Otherwise, you're going

to get implicated too.

That naughty boy is the only one who
stands in the way of you being home for

Year's. And he won't be standing much
longer.

That's a promise.

Alright, a quick hot cocoa and we're...

out of here.

Oh, don't you want to tell Santa what
you want for Christmas?

There is no Santa Claus.

Sad real days in that funny pumpkin.
Well, reality hit me when it was funny.

You siblings, don't you know that about
each other already?

Correct. We just like to rehash.

Our Santa Claus won 20 grand on a
scratch ticket, took off for the Bahamas

play golf.

So there is no Santa Claus.

My brother here would make a great
Santa.

Don't you think, bro? No, no, no. I'm
very particular of who sits on my lap.

I highly doubt that. I think he'd make a
marvelous Santa Claus.

With the kind of magic you create with
Christmas lights, just think of the joy

you could bring to kids.

This Christmas vacation was just
supposed to be me and my sis.

Safe and sound, remember?

Yeah.

Yeah, but wearing a big red suit with a
long white beard, you'd be

unrecognizable.

I can't do anything without her.

Take it to your house.

Look at me.

You're the one who wanted to venture
out.

I look ridiculous.

Well, think of this as a lesson in
humility.

I don't need humbling.

Yeah, you do.

And you're the one that said life should
be lived and not watched.

Well, at least I'm not the only one that
looks ridiculous.

Why are you hiding your gun in that
outfit?

None of your business.

Elves should be happier.

That's a humbug.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

I don't know what I'm doing.

What do you mean?

Didn't you visit Stanso when you were
little?

No.

My dad was in and out of prison.

And my mom worked two jobs just to keep
us afloat.

So we never really did Christmas.

But you make magic with Christmas
lights.

I was afraid of the dark when I was
little.

So my mom would bring Christmas lights
in my bedroom.

I see.

Ask the kids what they want for
Christmas and watch them light up.

You can do this, Dean.

I believe in you.

I'm going to do this.

We can do this.

I will be right by your side.

Ready,

Santa? Absolutely.

Ho, ho, ho.

Come on, switch the kitties.

Arthur,

this is Santa.

Hello, Arthur.

Come on up here.

So listen, Santa hasn't been in town for
very long.

Do you know where he can get some pizza
and some beer?

Do you like pizza?

Oh, I love pizza.

And hamburgers and french fries and
chicken fingers.

I love chicken fingers.

Santa, why don't you ask Arthur what he
wants for Christmas?

You could bring me a whole bunch of
chicken fingers.

Well, I could probably do that.

Yay, chicken fingers.

Okay, Arthur.

Say bye to Santa.

Bye, Santa.

See you, kid. And Merry Christmas.

Thank you.

Chicken fingers and beer. Leave me.

Hey, Santa. My dad told me to tell you
to go to the dude's off chat room for

pizza, burgers, fries, chicken fingers,
and beer.

Cool, dude.

Thanks.

Merry Christmas.

Hey, since you wrote me into playing
Santa Claus, the least you could do is

me a drink.

Still on duty?

24 -7 when I'm with you.

What's the status?

I'll knock it out of the park.

Well, you better.

Or else.

Threats don't motivate me.

Don't make me put you on the naughty
list.

Message received.

Hey, guys.

What can I get you two?

I'll take a drop of beer. Any local pale
ale will do. And a Shirley Temple for

the little lady.

Hold the cherry.

How's your sausage pizza?

It's good. I make the pizzas myself.

Well, we'll definitely have a little bit
of that.

Anything else you need, you let me know,
baby doll.

Oh, I caught you laughing.

Can't have that while you're working.

You want to play?

Sure.

It's hard to make the interesting.

Every shot you miss, you have to answer
a personal question.

Why do you want to know anything about
me?

Once Christmas is over, we'll never see
each other again.

You have my dossier.

You know all my secrets.

Fair is fair.

A little rusty, but I'll take you up on
your bet.

You should probably pray.

Watch the line.

I'm a highball.

Yes, that's right.

Does one ask me a question?

What's your favorite color?

That's lame.

That's my question. If you don't want to
answer it, trust me, you don't have to.

Okay. Green, blue, red, white.

Anything on the string of Christmas
lights.

Of course you can't just pick one.

Pick ball, red pocket.

Are you sure?

Red ball is the shot.

Eight ball, one pocket, one round.

You scared me.

What can I say? You're an easy target.

Okay, look, on the bright side, at least
now you've got your table, a bar, and

pool. Oh, great. All I need now is a
jacuzzi and my wish list will be

I have a jacuzzi.

Really? You know, if you and I were
playing, I would feign ignorance so you

could instruct me on how to hold my cue.

Be a far bigger win in my book to have
your arms around me.

I'm Tammy.

Derek. Oh, this is, uh, my sister.

Jessie. I play pool, not games.

I have a function to attend, so I'm
afraid I have to leave.

Why don't you stop by my place tomorrow,
say, seven?

We'll give my jacuzzi a whirl.

A date?

You're at seven, Derek.

Okay, you're not actually falling for
that. How's that?

How you doing?

That is not how the mayor rolls. The
mayor?

Well, I've never canoodled with a mayor
before.

Your food will be right up.

Thanks.

And where do you think you're going?

Do I need permission to take a leak?

Yeah, actually you do.

Go.

Thank you.

Mayor.

So how come you don't want to answer any
questions about yourself?

My favorite color is green.

When I was little, my parents took me to
Ireland and I fell in love with the

rolling fields of clovers.

I thought they were beautiful.

And then my parents gave me this ring
when I graduated college.

Nice.

I only missed one shot, because I ran
the table, in case you forgot.

But if I had missed two, I'd ask you
why.

Why I chose a life of crime.

I work with a guy like DeNozzo.

Truth is, it's because I'm good at it.

Didn't think I'd be betrayed by the guy
who treated me like his own son.

What happened?

I blame his wife.

For crazy, conniving, manipulative...

That's like two missed shots worth.

Santa, this is Sally.

Well, hello, little Sally, you who.

What you come riding on up here?

And what would you like for Christmas?

I want the Christmas tree lighting party
back.

Where'd it go? They stopped having it
when I was six because some dope broke a

statue and the old lady in the park got
mad.

Now we don't have it anymore.

Don't you want a doll or a cell phone?

Nope. I want the singing and the cookies
and the cocoa and the lights.

You're there, Santa. Can't you bring it
back for us?

The lights, huh?

Tons and tons. All over the Christmas
trees. And there's like a gazillion

Well, see what I can do.

Santa's going to bring back the
Christmas Eve tree lighting party.

Now what am I going to do?

I don't know.

If you're not too busy canoodling in
there tonight, maybe you can ask her.

Hey, listen, I don't think the mayor
really is expecting the both of us, so

don't you wait in the car?

Listen, Casanova, I get paid to keep an
eye on you. Or maybe you just don't want

me to be alone with her in the jacuzzi.

What I want is to keep you alive.

And what we should be doing is laying
low at the motel and gallivanting around

town.

Gallivanting? That's right. Since I
opened the door to gallivanting with the

whole Santa duty thing, here we are.
Just so you know, I draw the line at the

mayor's.

Plan on making it to the front door?

Oh, my God.

Let's go.

Nice snow globes.

Yeah. Yeah, your snow globes are pretty
amazing.

I thought this was supposed to be a
date.

My sister, she gets sad around the
holidays and we're traveling together.

mind if she just watches some TV?

I mean, she's already here.

Make yourself at home.

Thanks.

Come on, the jacuzzi's this way.

I actually had fun playing Santa. Those
kids were pretty cute.

One of them thinks I can bring back the
Christmas Eve tree lighting ceremony.

What do you think?

You do realize there are only two nights
until Christmas Eve, right?

It would be virtually impossible to pull
that off. Yeah, but I'm a whiz with

Christmas lights.

You know, I saw what you did at the
Gateway.

But the major obstacle to that is
Harrington. She owns the property, and

the one who killed the tree lighting
ceremony.

I have a feeling I might be able to
change her mind.

I have a feeling that if anyone could,
it would be you, Derek.

I will personally bring you to her.

That'd be so generous of you.

Oh.

You don't know anywhere.

It's okay.

You're okay.

Oh, my God. I found the culprit.

Jesus. Should we go to the hospital?

No, I think I'm all right.

Did you just save my life?

You know, it's my job.

Where's your sister?

We should call it a night.

Are you sure you don't want to stay?

I'd be happy to play nurse and pamper
you.

It's okay.

We should go. I just want to see you
tomorrow.

Okay, I'll come. I got you.

How's your head?

Ouch. Yeah.

No, I think I had an epiphany tonight.

Oh, yeah?

Don't sit under a wall of snow globe?

I realized you were right.

Oh.

This is the season of giving.

You gave me a second chance tonight.

It would have been death by snow globe
if it wasn't for you, Jesse.

And I really want to make those
Christmas lights happen.

Oh, I know.

I love your life. No.

It's about the life.

I've never done anything that's really
made a difference.

And I think we're here for that very
reason.

What?

Actually, incredibly humbling.

I have an idea.

For every naughty thing I've ever done,
or may have been construed as maybe not

on the right side of the law, I'm going
to counter it by doing something nice.

head handsome oh much better you look
amazing car's pretty hot too are you two

joined at the hip again today just until
christmas right bro

right this well she

did save your life so i guess i owe her

In the back is where the tree lighting
ceremony is to take place.

She's not expecting us. I thought a
surprise attack would be best.

But stubborn and ornery, so be prepared
for a flat -out no.

Mayor.

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrington.

What can I do for you? I would like you
to meet Derek and his sister, Jessie.

Again.

What do you want, Mayor?

She's here because of me, Mrs.
Harrington.

Okay, what do you want?

Well, I'm playing Santa Claus at the
mall, and a little girl asked me to

back the Christmas tree lighting
ceremony.

I'd really like to.

Be my guest, but don't plan on using my
property.

Your property is the only spot in town
that works, and you know it, Gladys.

Mrs. Harrington, I can work the magic
with Christmas tree lights.

If you could only see what I could do to
transform your property, you'd be blown

away. Don't try to charm me, Lothario.

Your charms might work on these two, but
not on me.

I warned you.

But you're right. We still have our
annual snowball dance tomorrow. I hope

you'll come as my date.

Yeah. Fun.

Be my pleasure.

Good. And I can guarantee you won't be
able to take your eyes off of me.

I tried.

Oh, please.

You batted your eyes and tried to charm
her.

It's a wimpy attempt.

Who are you calling a wimp?

Goodbye. You want to know the difference
between trying and defeating?

When I was in high school, I was on the
prom committee.

You were at the prom?

I did.

And our entire senior class wanted the
harmonites to perform.

So I called their manager. I called
their label.

I even stood in line after a silly
little meet and greet.

So what happened?

I found a charity the band supported and
turned our entire prom into a

fundraiser.

Impressive.

Rhonda, why did Gladys stop doing the
Christmas tree lighting event?

A couple of kids knocked over one of her
husband's sculptures.

Passed away in September.

Took the accident quite personally.

Come better ever since.

Didn't we see a sculpture at the mall?

That's one of his.

You know, she met her husband at one of
the Christmas concerts.

She was a singer.

Hello? Oh, don't look at me.

I'm tone deaf.

You can do Christmas lights and you
can't sing Christmas carols?

I cannot believe I'm doing this.

Hey.

It's me.

Oh,

definitely a basket of glazed donut.

Nona? Derek.

Derek, Nona. How you doing, Nona? Good.
Good.

Did you have any trouble with the piano?

No, not at all. It's in my car.

Great. I'll go get you checked in.

Okay. I'm going to go grab a soda. You
want anything?

I'm good. Thanks.

All right.

What?

She's my friend.

Oh, shoot.

Merry Christmas.

Hi.

I love your sweater.

I love your sweater, too.

Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrington.

Don't try to charm me, Buttercup.

My answer's still no.

No? To the surprise I have for you? A
surprise?

For me?

Grab your coat. Come with me.

Mm -mm.

Please?

Walter always gave me his arm when we'd
walk together.

are we doing here?

Are you playing me?

Oh, I'm not the one who's playing.

It came a flower bright

amid the cold of

winter when

half gone was the

Nice. Oh, my.

You went through a great deal of trouble
in order to get me to change my mind.

That was the goal, partly.

But mostly I just wanted to ignite the
Christmas spirit.

Merry Christmas, Gladys.

I used to sing that song to Walter every
year.

I miss you, Walter.

This really brings back memories. Such
wonderful memories.

I really don't know what to say.

I hit it real hard after Walter passed.

He loved the lighting ceremony so very
much.

I think you would want me to carry on
with the tradition.

So, yes, you have my blessing.

You're late.

Late for what?

You made me walk under the stars.

So you can follow me?

Yep.

Come on.

You know, I never had bad luck before I
met you.

Well, I never had so much trouble
protecting a witness until I met you.

Is that all I have to do?

Trouble?

No.

Maybe.

I don't know.

You know, the first night you walked
down here, you were following me.

So I was shooting.

If you know, there are more stars in the
universe than there are grains of sand

on every beach on Earth.

That's unbelievable.

How do you know that?

My dad.

He was sort of an amateur astronomer.

Sometimes I would stay up late and he
would take turns looking through his

telescope.

He would light starlight.

He would light Christmas lights.

You ever heard of Martin Luther?

He was a 16th century preacher.

He was so

inspired

to

go out on the forest back home, decorate
his little candles.

It's reminding us that stars need to
die.

And that's how we got the Christmas
tree.

That's amazing.

How did you learn that?

I didn't know what to do with it.

I was in a little bed.

Well, you are full of surprises, Dean
Foucault.

We'll figure it out. The cop and the
criminal.

Bonded by Christmas.

Yeah.

The cop and the criminal.

I mean, if we're going to be bonded by
anything.

We're not Christmas friends.

Good morning, Thelma. Good morning.

Ah, Thelma.

How's it shaking?

Delma, who?

I put the word out that we're in need of
lights for the sea lighting ceremony

tomorrow night, and we're telling folks
to drop them off at the property at noon

today.

Oh, Delma, you're the best.

Where's the people? Where's the lights?

I heard you needed lights.

Thank you, Tammy.

You owe me, and I plan on collecting
tonight.

I will pick you up at six.

You think your sister can find her own
way to the den?

I don't think there'll be a problem at
all.

Huh.

Well, enough for one tree.

Thank God for that.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Thank you.

Hey, guys.

Could be some of my neighbor's hedges.
You won't miss them. Gonna pretend I

didn't hear that.

You sneaky little... I knew I liked you
wrong once.

You're like a kid in a candy shop.

I thought I'd keep it open.

Thank you.

Are you ready, handsome?

You bet.

We are going to be the couple of the
night.

See you at the dance.

Yeah.

Bye.

Hey, Mona.

Who is he?

A traveling salesman who's crazy for
Christmas.

He likes my sweaters.

Very cute.

So, Derek just left with the mayor.

Want to come with me to the dance?

Yeah, I can't. I kind of got a hot date
later.

But before you go, let me do for you
what you did for me.

On and off the dance floor.

Oh.

Mission accomplished.

Still working on it.

Seriously?

How hard is it to put a peanut in his
food?

What?

He's allergic.

Get it done.

You know, for someone not from here, you
seem to have taken quite an interest in

this town. Well, it's not a bad little
town.

I hope that means you're not averse to
relocating.

You look good on my arm, I look good on
yours.

Derek, seriously, what is the deal with
you and your sister?

Lights.

Merry Christmas.

Can I catch you?

What's a girl got to do to get a drink?

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

You know, this requires a toast.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

To Martin Luther.

He's having a reaction.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you going to be okay?

Yeah.

Yeah,

I think I'm fine.

Call it a night.

You're leaving?

Again?

Always a pleasure, Mayor.

Cool. Okay.

Did I tell you tonight that you look
beautiful?

Hey.

Mona talks me into the whole Cinderella
thing.

Well, we can't have Cinderella's pumpkin
burst without a dance.

Cinderella doesn't hold a can of tea.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Hey, I think I should take you to the
hospital.

No, it's just the effect from the shock.

It's happened before. I'll be...

I'll be fine.

I'm going to get you a ginger ale.

Sorry, sweetheart.

I have to take this.

I'll be waiting.

How about I call you when it's done?

What is going on with you?

It's not me. This cat has nine lives,
and that chick protecting him, she's one

tough cookie.

Just do whatever you need to do,
whatever weighs fastest.

Doesn't have to be an accident.

No.

Just kill him.

In fact, kill them both.

Thank you, Al.

Hey,

did you see Jessie tonight?

Oh, she looks so stunning.

Doesn't she?

I tried the makeup.

She doesn't need all that.

She's amazing.

Just being herself.

Looking at the stars.

Not so bad yourself.

Even though you are the most accident
-prone.

Jared, what's going on?

Are you okay?

Oh, my God. I found the culprit.

Stay alone.

Someone's trying to kill you and make it
look like an accident.

What?

We gotta go.

No, I'm not going anywhere.

Not after everything we did for tonight.

I'm not kidding.

Well, I'm not worried, because I got you
to protect me.

Okay, look, so far, we have been lucky.

Luck runs out.

My first day playing Santa, when I
freaked out, you told me you believed in

No one's ever...

I believe in you.

Dean, come on.

Is this one more night?

We cannot trust anyone.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Oh, she's just risking you.

It's that family Christmas tradition.

It's a Christmas tradition, huh?

Well, then, risk away.

Um... Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, it was just a date night.

Well, I spent my night, our date night,
listening to my constituents gripe about

potholes.

But I also arranged for some volunteers
to help us get the trees decorated for

this evening.

Well, that was really nice of you,
Tammy.

I didn't do it. You

know

what

today is?

I don't know.

Tuesday, maybe.

You tend to lose track of time in here.

Christmas Eve.

This is the season to give.

I've got something for you, Al.

Something real special.

Thanks, but not thanks.

I'll give it to you real soon.

My gift for you is a true meaning of
Christmas.

What?

Yeah, let me talk to him.

See, this is about this little baby,
this cute little baby, who taught us

not just his mom, his dad, the
shepherds, and that ass that was in the

What ass was in the stable?

The donkey.

It was the donkey stable.

Anyway, this little baby taught us that
there's only one true gift that's worth

giving and receiving.

You know what that gift is?

Stock options.

Love, Albert.

The gift is love.

I've always been able to count on you
above everything else.

We've developed a father -son type of
loyalty, huh?

You're right. I know, man, I know.

Silent night.

Holy night.

Excuse me. I'm so sorry. That was
totally my fault.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Hey!

You're the elf.

Why aren't you at the North Pole?

Well, I couldn't miss the magical tree
lighting ceremony.

After all, you helped bring it back.

Yeah, I did!

Let's all go grab a drink at the dew
drop before the event starts.

My treat.

I'll catch up with you guys.

Derek.

Well, if it isn't Mr. Lucky.

Freeze, Chuck.

Looking for this?

Oh, God.

No. Excuse me. I'm so sorry. That was
totally my fault.

Merry Christmas.

You were good.

We're very good.

So he became your weak spot.

Say your prayers.

Looks like I'm taking a bullet for you
after all.

Hold on. Don't I get to say any of this?

Sure.

But make it quick.

I'm so sorry, Jesse.

You deserve better than this.

Because you're lazy.

Touchy. You done?

Rudy!

Rudy?

Oh.

Moaning.

No wonder he's still alive.

Doctor's gonna get over there.

You are all loose ends that I will
finally take care of.

You know, it doesn't matter if you're
standing in front. I'm going to shoot

off.

Goodbye, Dean.

Darling, it's not really a good time
right now.

I had an epiphany.

Listen, you've got to stop Rudy from
killing Dean.

Oh, I have.

Thank goodness.

Albert.

Just like that handsome and now dead
undercover agent.

I just don't have the balls to do what
needs to be done.

Luckily, I do.

That was you?

Of course it was me.

And I'll take care of this, too.

Go ahead.

I'll allow you one last look at the
thing you wish you could have had.

Well, I hate to disappoint, but I never
saw you as anything when this got on.

Are you kidding me?

Out of all the times you choose to tell
the truth, you picked this one? You

couldn't just try and charm her into not
killing us?

Well, we're all dead.

She's the one who has the gun.

Just think, I actually fell for you.
Wait, what?

Yeah. You showed me a piece of you that
you don't show anyone, and I thought

that was special. It turns out you were
just playing me like you play everyone

because life's one big joke to you.

Oh, it's better than going through life
alone and like you. Oh, do not try and

flip this on me.

I knew you were trouble the second you
first touched me.

Oh, yeah?

What would you do if I did it again?

I'd like to see you dry.

Me too.

I'll think, like a potter's in a pantry,
as long as I'm in his favorite corner.

How'd you know where to find him?

We've been tracking Mrs. Bonazzo's cell
phone.

And with her confession just now, I
don't think we'll be needing your

anymore.

Good luck.

Well, you heard him.

You're a free man.

Hold on, did you?

Really mean what you said before?

Derek?

Derek, where are you?

The bear needs you, and I need to go
brief Officer Chen.

Take your night.

Enjoy.

What in the world is going on?

Do you really want to know?

We were very fortunate to have this man
show up on our doorstep just days ago.

He has changed all of our lives for the
better, and we are most grateful.

It is my delight and privilege to let
Dean Kupo have the honor of turning on

lights.

Thank you.

Sorry, uh, instance.

I knew I'd find you here.

Why aren't you at your event?

Well, because the one person I wanted to
share it with wasn't there.

What about Stanley?

I don't feel the same way around her as
I do with you.

You make me feel safe, Justin.

My job, Dean.

Do you ever think about anything other
than your job?

What's that supposed to mean? You may be
tough on the outside, but I think

you're scared.

You don't know me.

That's right. I don't.

I've been trying to get to know you, but
you keep me at a distance.

At a distance, Dean?

You're right, I do. This doesn't make
sense. We do not make sense. Maybe not.

But after having a target on my back...

I don't want to go back to that life.

Especially if it doesn't include you.

Dean, I protect people for a living.

That's what I do. I'm already on another
assignment. That's just how this works.

I'm not trying to change you.

You're the one who's showing me what's
on the inside that matters.

Thank you.

They never answered my question.

Did you mean what you said before?

Or am I just another assignment?

Good answer.

I mean, you do know your own probation.

With me.