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1
00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:04,738
* Here in my car,
I feel safest of all *
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,207
* I can lock all my doors
3
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,875
* It's the only way to live
4
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,410
* In cars...
5
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,412
(humming)
6
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,984
Whatcha doin'?
7
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,753
Building an original
1978 Firebird.
8
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,789
Got it on eBay.
9
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:22,923
Okay.
10
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,258
Why?
11
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,560
I had this model
when I was little, remember?
12
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,429
I spent a month building it
and painting it
13
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,830
and putting on all the decals.
14
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,600
Is that the one I tried
to make a bong out of?
15
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,070
No, that was
my Munster Mobile.
16
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,006
And my ventriloquist
dummy.
17
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:42,176
And my Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots.
18
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,178
My Firebird you blow-torched
19
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,880
with a cigarette lighter
and Mom's Aqua Net.
20
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,717
Oh, yeah, the "Fire"-bird.
21
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,686
Anyway, I loved that model
and now I'm gonna have it again.
22
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,889
I am gonna have it again, right?
23
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,057
Relax.
24
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,526
If I destroy any of your cars,
25
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,828
it'll be that oil-dripping
piece of crap
26
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,163
out there in my garage.
27
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,799
* Here in my car
28
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,235
* I can only receive
29
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,569
* I can listen to you
30
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,804
* It keeps me
stable for days *
31
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:11,839
* In cars...
32
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:16,110
(singing continues)
33
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:18,312
I'm worried
about my brother.
34
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,282
Why?
Well...
35
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,950
he's either so lonely,
36
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,785
he's trying to recapture
his childhood,
37
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,821
which was not that good
in the first place,
38
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:31,159
or he's created an elaborate
ruse to hide the fact
39
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,361
that he's become a degenerate
glue-sniffer.
40
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,630
To be honest,
I'm rootin' for the glue.
41
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,300
You know, I've been meaning
to talk to you about him.
42
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,401
You want him gone?
He's gone.
43
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,635
That's how much
I love you.
44
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,704
No, no, he's a
wonderful guy.
45
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:47,341
I actually have a friend
that I think might be
a good match for him.
46
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,910
Oh, no, you're wrong.
47
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,345
Oh, come on, Charlie.
48
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,216
Listen...
49
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,251
* ...started to think
50
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,619
* About leaving tonight
51
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,721
* Although nothing seemed...
52
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:05,025
You don't want to do that
to a friend, do you?
53
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,360
Alan's a doll.
54
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,095
He just needs to find
the right woman.
55
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,597
If you check his closet,
56
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,065
you'll find the right
woman is a doll.
57
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,767
At least let me try.
58
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,036
I'll set up a dinner
with the four of us.
59
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:16,937
It'll be fun.
60
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,439
For who?
61
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,308
It's bad enough you want
to punish your friend.
62
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,742
Why do I have to suffer?
63
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,111
Isn't it worth one
night of your life
64
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,746
to maybe make two
people happy?
65
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:26,647
That's not fair.
66
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:27,815
I always come off bad
67
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,251
when I answer questions
like that truthfully.
68
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,820
Just do it for me.
69
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:33,954
(groans)
70
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:34,988
Is that a yes?
71
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,191
(groans)
72
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,194
Remember those words
when we go to bed tonight.
73
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,262
What words?
74
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,797
"Just do it for me."
75
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,501
So, anyway,
76
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,070
he's Charlie's brother
and a very sweet guy
77
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,939
and I really think
you'll like him.
78
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,710
Boy, I don't know.
79
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,446
Blind dates.
80
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,715
You never know what kind of
freak you're gonna end up with.
81
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,718
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men *
82
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:05,753
* Ah, ah-ah
83
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,755
* Men.
84
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,692
* Men. *
85
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,361
So you don't know
her name?
Nope.
86
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,396
And you don't know
what she does?
Nope.
87
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,797
And you don't know
what she looks like?
88
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,399
What do you care?
89
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,468
You were gonna spend the night
building a scale model
90
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,536
of TheDukes of Hazzard car.
91
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,539
Ah, actually I just finished
theGeneral Lee.
92
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,541
Now I'm working
on Burt Reynolds' Trans Am
93
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,176
from Smokey and the Bandit.
94
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:32,346
Okay, okay, just promise me
95
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,382
you won't bring any
of that up tonight.
96
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,983
Why?
Why?!
97
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,921
You're asking me why a
40-year-old man shouldn't talk
98
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,956
about model cars
on a first date?
99
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,792
Hmm.
100
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:45,959
I see your point.
101
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,328
Leave a little mystery.
102
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:50,864
Yeah, that's my point.
103
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:51,899
Come on.
104
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:52,966
Oh, speaking of mystery,
105
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,668
I am currently the high bidder
106
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,938
on an original, mint in the box
Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine.
107
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,575
* Men. *
108
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,445
How do I look?
109
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,146
Don't open that
can of worms.
110
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,349
You are what you are.
111
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,785
There's Chelsea.
112
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,556
Sorry we're late.
No, no,
113
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,725
we were early.
You look great!
114
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,560
Thank you.
So do you.
115
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,966
Charlie, Alan, this
is my friend Rose.
116
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,000
Rose,
117
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,602
this is Charlie
and Alan.
118
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,738
It's nice to meet you, Alan.
119
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,006
No, that's Charlie.
120
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,743
Ooh, even better.
121
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:36,777
Hi, Alan.
122
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,779
Hi.
123
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,350
Why don't we
all sit down?
124
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,018
So many reasons.
125
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,423
Chelsea's told me so much
about you boys.
126
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,459
It-It's so nice
to finally meet you.
127
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,895
Alan, I understand you're
a chiropractor.
128
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,966
Yes.
129
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,969
I'm a chiropractor.
130
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,003
Charlie?
131
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,339
Yes.
132
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,376
He is a chiropractor.
133
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:11,278
Oh, that's just terrific.
134
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,313
And what do you
do, Charlie?
135
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,148
Um...
136
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,519
I write kids' songs
and jingles.
137
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,554
Alan?
138
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,956
Yes.
139
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,694
He writes kids' songs
and jingles.
140
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,365
And I am a chiropractor.
141
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:37,671
Yes, he's a chiropractor.
142
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,208
They don't get out much,
do they?
143
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,677
Apparently not.
144
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,814
So, Chels, where
did you meet...
145
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,882
Rose.
146
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,718
Right.
147
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,756
Rose.
148
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:56,424
Yoga class.
149
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,124
No kiddin'.
150
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,559
Yeah.
151
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:01,028
And then we ran into each
other at Pilates,
152
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,162
and the manicurist,
153
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,931
and jogging,
154
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,265
and the dry cleaner.
155
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,934
Crazy, huh?
156
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,936
Sure are. Sure is.
157
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,641
Seemed like every time I turned
around, there she was.
158
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,744
Seemed like every time I turned
around, there you were.
159
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,012
I thought maybe
you were stalking me.
160
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,481
(both laugh)
161
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,186
That's funny.
162
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,455
Good one. Yeah.
163
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,024
Can I start you off
with cocktails?
164
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,061
I think
I need to stay sober tonight.
165
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,697
But you guys go ahead.
166
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:37,665
I'll have a Chardonnay.
167
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,799
I'll be right back.
168
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,469
I'll go with you.
169
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,103
I'll have a double vodka rocks.
170
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,040
I feel a little
reckless tonight.
171
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,243
Fun personality, huh?
172
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,713
Yeah.
173
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:56,116
Unfortunately, she's got
six more of them.
174
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,618
And for you, sir?
175
00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,286
Whiskey, neat.
176
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,988
Since when do you drink
hard liquor?
177
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,255
Since right now.
178
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,925
I'd order a glass of crack
if it were on the menu.
179
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,329
Tru dat.
180
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,364
Why didn't you say something?
181
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,600
Why didn't you
say something?
182
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,300
I was following your lead.
183
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:14,802
What lead?
184
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,804
The minute I saw her, I
practically peed my pants.
185
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,772
Well then, I did follow
your lead.
186
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,874
So-So what are we going
to do now?
187
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,009
I don't know.
188
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,176
I guess we play along.
189
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,211
Play along?!
190
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,378
Are you serious?!
191
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,413
What am I supposed
to do, Alan?
192
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,648
Tell the truth?
193
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,683
"Oh Chelsea, I
almost forgot,
194
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,652
"your new BFF and I had
a one-night stand
195
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,821
"and when I dumped her,
she superglued my nutsack
196
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,989
"to my thigh and
started stalking me.
197
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,057
"Oh, and then
198
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,692
"I thought maybe I was
in love with her
199
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,060
"and followed her
to England.
200
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,829
"And then when she came
back from England,
201
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,031
I thought I was dying and almost
asked her to marry me."
202
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,667
Yeah, when you put it
in story form,
203
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,001
it really does sound bad.
204
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,504
So, we play along
205
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,540
until I can find out
what Rose's angle is.
206
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,575
So, what, I'm supposed
to date her?!
207
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,576
Stop flattering yourself.
208
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,610
This isn't about you.
209
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,078
It's me she's interested in.
210
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,780
What are you saying,
I'm not good enough for her?
211
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,549
What are you saying,
212
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,050
you want that looney tune
as a girlfriend?
213
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:03,884
No!
214
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,086
But I am currently
unattached.
215
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,591
Now, you listen to me,
216
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,960
this is a blind date
that goes no further.
217
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,027
You understand?
218
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,495
I got it.
219
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,935
(whispers):
She really likes him.
220
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,136
Swell.
221
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,752
* Men. *
222
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,055
I thought there was real
chemistry between them.
223
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,992
I'm sure they have some
meds in common.
224
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,396
But I wouldn't get
your hopes up.
225
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,431
Why not?
226
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,600
She's not his type.
227
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,701
What do you mean?
228
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,704
She's pretty,
smart, rich...
229
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,006
Okay, then, he's
not her type.
230
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:03,476
("Cars"
by Gary Numan playing)
231
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,478
(both moaning)
232
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,480
This is crazy.
233
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,182
I know.
234
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,283
We just met.
235
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,858
* Men. *
236
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,261
* Men. *
237
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,273
Oh no, no,
238
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,309
no, you idiot.
239
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,012
Morning, Charlie.
240
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,280
Morning.
241
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,317
Should've smothered him
in the crib
242
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,687
when I had the chance.
243
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,991
Boy, take one day off
for a poker tournament
244
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,193
and you miss a whole lot
around here.
245
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,730
You said you were sick.
246
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,732
I was healed. It's a miracle.
247
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,735
You want to catch me up?
248
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,871
Chelsea set Alan up
on a blind date
249
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,906
with a girl she met
at yoga class.
250
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,708
Well, what's he doing with Rose?
251
00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,609
She's the girl.
252
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,611
Oh.
253
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,814
Diabolical.
254
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,017
So Chelsea doesn't know...
255
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,920
Chelsea knows nothing and I want
to keep it that way.
256
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,221
Okay.
257
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,923
Why is Alan playing along?
258
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,058
Because Alan is a horny idiot.
259
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,361
And horny idiots are
perfectly willing
260
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,263
to have sex with crazy girls.
261
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,200
Yeah, I know. But I've grown.
262
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,137
Charlie, did you see?
263
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,306
Yeah, I saw.
264
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,874
Told you they'd hit it off.
265
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:41,775
Didn't I tell you?
266
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,276
You told me.
267
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,613
I'm a little worried
they're moving so fast.
268
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,582
Yeah, that's the worrisome part.
269
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,885
Berta, have you met Rose yet?
270
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,365
Screw it, I'm going home.
271
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,302
Feel better!
272
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,142
* Men. *
273
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,278
ALAN:
Cut it out!
274
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,914
(giggling):
Stop it.
275
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,154
Hello.
276
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,089
Sit down.
277
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,191
Um, you know I have company.
278
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,961
Yes, I know you have
company, now, sit down!
279
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,766
Okay.
280
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,442
'Sup?
281
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,447
Explain it to me, Alan.
282
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,715
Help me understand.
283
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,450
You mean Rose?
284
00:11:57,517 --> 00:12:00,087
No, I mean the internal
combustion engine!
285
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,321
Yes, Rose!
286
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,959
Uh, well, we, uh,
we started talking
287
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:09,429
on the ride home last night,
and we really hit it off.
288
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,831
She has changed, Charlie.
289
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,366
Changed?!
290
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,802
She was stalking my fiancée.
291
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,904
Ah, ah, well, actually,
she explained all that.
292
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,305
Really?
Mm-hmm.
293
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,406
What did she say?
294
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,141
Uh, well, um...
295
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,843
Okay, I don't remember
all the details
296
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,744
'cause she was tweaking
my nipples at the time.
297
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,549
Oh... hi, Charlie.
298
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:33,286
All right, Rose,
what are you up to?
299
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,454
What do you mean?
300
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,623
I'm telling you right now,
301
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,426
I love Chelsea and if you
mess things up with us,
302
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,994
I will never forgive you.
303
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,629
Wow.
304
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,032
What did I ever
do to deserve that?
305
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,468
You're kidding, right?
306
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:49,837
Yeah.
307
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,642
So, once again,
308
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,677
what are you up to?
309
00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:00,513
Okay, at first,
I was just doing
310
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,282
a little light
recon on Chelsea
311
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,617
to make sure you weren't
dating a whack job.
312
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:08,455
You thought
Chelsea might be...
313
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,190
Go on.
314
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,425
Well, good news,
she's not.
315
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,561
She's got a cousin who's
a truck stop hooker
316
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,197
and her mom's an honorary
Kleagle in the Ku Klux Klan,
317
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,732
but Chelsea is clean
as a whistle.
318
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,334
Kleagle?
319
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,471
According to Wikipedia
it's below Grand Dragon
320
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,540
and above Exalted Cyclops.
321
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,309
Sure, whatever.
322
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,512
What's the deal with
the lunch lady here?
323
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,685
Alan?
324
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,388
Well, that was Chelsea's
idea, not mine.
325
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,556
I tried to get
out of it.
Really?
326
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,192
I'm sorry, sweetie,
327
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,627
but I thought a double date
with Charlie and his fiancée
328
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,696
might be a little awkward.
329
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,199
A little awkward?
330
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,833
When I saw you sitting there,
331
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,268
my sphincter slammed
shut so quickly,
332
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,604
you could've used it
as a cigar cutter!
333
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,910
Yeah, you should've
seen your face.
334
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:07,814
Anyway, it all worked
out for the best.
335
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,682
Last night, I saw a
side of your brother
336
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,618
that I've never seen before.
337
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,886
What side?
338
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,487
He's only got the two.
339
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,957
"Oh, no, here he comes"
and "Oh good, he's leaving."
340
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,427
Look, Charlie, this
has nothing to do
341
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,594
with you and Chelsea.
342
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,296
This has nothing to
do with you and Rose.
343
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,133
The fact is,
we really like each other
344
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,002
and we want to keep
seeing each other.
345
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:32,172
And we'd really like
your blessing.
346
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,774
So, you actually
want to be with him?
347
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,309
I do.
348
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,712
And you believe she's got no
ulterior motive whatsoever?
349
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,849
I do.
350
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,884
Fine.
351
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,220
I now pronounce you
fruit basket and nutcase.
352
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,825
May God have mercy
on your souls.
353
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,461
Yay!
354
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,664
Uh, I don't think that was
really a blessing, Rose.
355
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,032
It doesn't matter.
356
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,733
So what are we doing
this afternoon?
357
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,502
Oh, uh, gee, I
gotta pick up Jake.
358
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,504
Um, I promised him
I'd take him to the movies.
359
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,805
You know, a little
father-son time.
360
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,374
Oh, that's sweet.
361
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,677
Well, just call me when you
want to get together again.
362
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,379
Sure, or you can call me.
363
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,680
Okay.
364
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:22,489
(cell phone ringing)
365
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:31,999
Hello?
366
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,835
Oh, Jake, thank God.
367
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:38,005
Uh, nothing.
368
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,240
Wait, hang on,
I got another call.
369
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:43,710
Hello?
370
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,612
Yes, Rose, this is my number.
371
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,216
* Men. *
372
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,817
So how did you
like the movie?
373
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:54,421
It was an insult
to my intelligence.
374
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,056
Really?
375
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:59,259
Everybody knows zombies
can't ride motorcycles.
376
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,061
Yeah, that bumped me, too.
377
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,962
And why would they wear helmets?
378
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,664
They're dead.
379
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:05,665
Another good point.
380
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,700
I don't know who they're
381
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,369
making movies for these days.
382
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,572
Fine, next time,
you pick.
383
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,542
Anyway, there's something
I want to talk to you about.
384
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,511
Oh, come on, it was one fart
during the previews
385
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,513
and everybody laughed.
386
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,715
No, no, not that.
387
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,117
Uh, I just want you to know
388
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,785
that I've been dating somebody
389
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,020
and you might be
meeting her soon.
390
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,921
Oh, okay, good.
391
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,523
So, you have no
problem with that?
392
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,559
Not at all; you should
have a girlfriend.
393
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,494
You think so?
394
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,364
Yeah, the model car stuff
is starting to freak me out.
395
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,101
I mean, seriously.
396
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,702
You're a grown man.
397
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,671
(horn honking)
398
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,739
What the hell?
399
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,642
You didn't call me!
400
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,045
Hi, Rose.
401
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,120
So, tell me about
your new girlfriend.
402
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,793
* Men. *
403
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,630
I'm so glad you forgave me for
my little outburst in the car.
404
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:14,734
Well, you have a very
compelling way of apologizing.
405
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:18,238
But we need to have a little
talk about boundaries.
406
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:22,175
It was just my pinky, Alan.
407
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,747
No, no, that was fun.
408
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,350
Is it about me following
409
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,018
you and Jake into
the movie theater?
410
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,020
You followed us into
the movie theater?!
411
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:37,424
No...
412
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:41,328
Look, Rose, I really like you
413
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,795
but you've got to realize
414
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,497
that people need their space.
415
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,965
And you need to respect that.
416
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,835
All right.
417
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,438
So, we're clear on that?
418
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,773
Yes. I'm sorry.
419
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,974
It won't happen again.
420
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,478
Hm. Good.
421
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,013
Well, good night.
422
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,616
Good night.
423
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,659
Boy, this is an Alan Harper
I haven't seen before.
424
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,127
Uh-huh.
425
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,864
Forceful, confident...
426
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,299
Thank you.
427
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:23,503
I don't like
him very much.
428
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,708
* Men. *
429
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,649
Morning, Charlie.
430
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,650
Morning, Rose.
431
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:38,985
Alan needs his space.
432
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,253
I'm gonna give it to him.
433
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,988
Okay.
Say hi to Chelsea
for me.
434
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:45,158
Will do.
435
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,198
Oh, I got a bad feeling.
436
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,672
Alan?
437
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,007
Yeah?
438
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,910
You okay?
439
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,213
Been better.
440
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,582
I'm coming in.
441
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,087
Hi.
442
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,956
Hi.
443
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:17,924
Impressive.
444
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,960
It's not me.
445
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,895
No kidding.
446
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,264
What is it?
447
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:43,916
Oh, Burt Reynolds' Trans Am
from Smokey and the Bandit.
448
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:47,487
Yep.
449
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,490
Would you care to explain
why it's parked
450
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:53,092
in your handicapped spot?
451
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,161
Not parked.
452
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,829
Glued.
453
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:57,930
Ah.
454
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:58,998
Rose?
455
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,199
Rose.
456
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,168
Told ya.
You did.
457
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,971
But did you listen?
Nope.
458
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,639
Okay.
459
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,807
Happy motoring.
460
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,948
* Here in my car
461
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:19,519
* I feel safest of all...
462
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:22,889
* Scooby Dooby Doo
463
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,291
* Where are you?
464
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:27,494
* We got some work to do now
465
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,462
* Scooby Scooby Doo
466
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:30,930
* Where are you?
467
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,700
* We need some help
from you now... *
468
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:37,770
I feel bad it didn't work
out with Alan and Rose.
469
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,105
Me, too.
470
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,374
Terrible.
471
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,511
The problem is they
jumped into bed too fast.
472
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,380
The problem is he doesn't
keep his glue solvent
473
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,116
in his night stand.
474
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,418
What's that mean?
475
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,621
Another way of saying
what you said.
476
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,190
ALAN:
Ow!
477
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,226
Ah...
478
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,729
Oh...
479
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,999
What's wrong with him?
480
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:23,816
Little car accident.
31219
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