All language subtitles for A.Touch.of.Sweden.1971.DVDRip

You're the first girl that's ever
touched my cock, you know that?

Well, it feels all right.

I just... No,

I just wish you were somewhere else.

Nip it.

Nip it right in your teeth.

I like your panties.

Final call, flight 2. Now boarding at
gate number 21.

All aboard flight 2, please.

Final call, flight 8, for Philadelphia
and Intermediate City.

Now boarding at gate number 16.

Final call, flight 98, for Philadelphia
and Intermediate City.

Now boarding at gate number 16.

or else I'm not going to sleep.

You want to come on?

You want my tongue in your cunt?

Come on.

That's a girl.

Come on, on top of me, ma chérie.

Come, Cherie.

Keep it up.

Yes. Move your tits over left.

Lift your ass.

Raise it. Oh, that's it.

Slide up and down, baby. Oh, yes.

It feels so great to be back home on my
vacation.

Yes, Sherry, but you can leave again.

Sure. I can go back to my house, my
servants.

But it's such a bother to have to make
all these decisions.

Tell me, Sherry, what happened when you
first arrived in America?

Well, I arrived in Los Angeles by way of
train 747.

And then I took a limousine from the
airport directly to Hollywood.

It was great.

The day was very lovely and the people
were friendly in California.

I was awaiting my ride.

While I was waiting, a handsome man
drove up and wanted to take me to

He was very friendly.

Hi. Hi.

Going to Hollywood?

Of course. I'm going to be an actress.

You have that much determination, I'm
sure you will.

And I'm going to make a lot of money.

Well, Hollywood's not too far down the
road. It's only a few miles.

Oh, really?

You know, I know some people in the film
business. Possibly I can help you out.

You do?

Sure, sure.

Will you introduce me to someone?

Sure, I'd be happy to.

What's your name?

Sherry.

Sherry? Uh -huh.

Oh, that's a pretty name.

We talked about Sweden at my home.

He had a very expensive car.

He told me about making me a star in his
next movie. Well, I kind of wanted to

get your vibrations, but I think I can
help you.

You see, I'm a producer. That is to say,
I'm a film producer.

And I can always use a new star for my
films.

Okay, Sherry.

Thanks for the ride.

Bye -bye.

He made a date for me to star in his
next picture.

Thanks for exciting in America.

All the cars and producers and Hollywood
stars.

Oh, it's nothing really.

I love this place. It's pretty.

What's about the food in America? Is it
as good? And what about the restaurants?

Oh, yeah. In America, we have the best
restaurants in the world.

And the people of America, are they all
the same?

Mm -hmm. Just the same in Europe.

Let me tell you about the day I met my
first producer.

It was so big, the studio, that they
were always building something wrong.

The alterations continued all the time.

It was a top -rated studio with many
people around and live movie stars.

Hello, Sherry. Hi.

I'm glad you can make it.

Please call me Pat, will you?

I thought you had a studio, Pat.

Well, I do, but not here, silly.

Oh.

Well, you said something about making me
a star in your next movie.

I sure did. I'm making a documentary in
8mm, and I need you.

I'm using 8mm because I'm trying to save
some money on film.

But that's that horror movie.

Hey, this is only a test.

Besides, you'll have some film.

After all, one movie is like another.

I made so many.

Tell me, what happened after your first
test?

Well, I started to make one film after
another, and I became famous.

But I felt guilty.

I thought I had to do something for
humanity.

And so in my free time, when I had very
little you know, I started to enlist as

a nurse's aide in a local hospital.

Goodness.

It was interesting.

I had another friend, Fred, the
ambulance driver.

He was a good boy, but always nipped up
about everything.

He got in trouble all the time at the
hospital, and especially with the head

doctor, was always yelling at him.

Fred was helping everyone as much as
possible.

I think maybe he didn't get enough sleep
at times, because many times he did

things wrong.

One day I was sitting in the hospital
and the count came.

Dr. Pobada, we now want staff.

Dr. Pobada, we now want staff.

EKG technician.

My job was satisfying, and I felt that I
was helping my fellow man.

I really enjoyed that.

However, I met some of the strangest
people.

Hi, Sharon.

Hi, Cecil.

Your case number is 5031, sir.

What is the number of your Blue Cross
policy?

Policy? What policy?

Your case number.

You have to have all the information on
your policy and your case numbers.

I don't have Blue Cross.

What do I need Blue Cross? What are you
selling? Cancer?

I'm sorry, sir. I have to discuss this
with the head nurse.

What are you here for? What's the
matter?

EKG technician.

Death. Clean out one.

Do you have any money, Mr. Clown?

Brown.

Brown. Case number 5431.

No.

No what?

No money.

Maybe Ted?

Do I look that old? Don't ask already.

Sherry, the head nurse wants to see you.
I'll take over here.

The doctor wants to see you.

I don't think a country has anything to
do with what men are like.

Like, a good lover is a good lover, no
matter where he comes from.

An American woman really can be a queen
because the man does everything for her.

He spoils her, he treats her
beautifully, he helps her in the house.

unbelievable.

I think they're not accustomed to that
so much, but they do other things for

you, and they bring you presents all the
time.

The doctor at the hospital was very
nice.

He wanted to take me to dinner all the
time.

The military general at the hospital.

He taught me many military procedures
while I was being entertained by the

general. Peek -a -boo, I see you.

Hello, General.

How are you? I'm fine. What's your name?

I'm Sherry. Willie told me you had a job
for me. Well, I do, in a way.

In what? What sign are you?

I'm a Leo, August 15th.

What sign are you?

I'm an Aries.

Fire sign.

A ram.

A born leader.

April 12th.

Ten hunts!

All right, Private. Now we are going to
have a little short -arm inspection.

That's what?

Yes, sir. That's better, Private Sherry.
All right, Private Sherry. Drip.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Don't know what?

Well, I don't know if Leo and Ares get
along too well.

Why not?

Well, we're both pretty strong.

Yes, but Leo girls are very sexy.

Why are you in the hospital?

I live here.

I thought you lived in the army.

Oh, I do, but I was wounded during the
war. My arm and shoulder were blown off.

Oh? Which one? What's wrong with you,
Private? Are you blind or something? The

left one.

But I can't see. I said it was blown
off, Private.

You poorly wondered. It hurt?

Not at all.

Why not?

Because it's my right leg that's
missing.

Watch out, Private. Watch out.

For what?

For my ear.

Which one? The right one. They never
found it.

Oh, you poor little one.

Oh,

poor baby.

Are you ready, Thomas?

Yes, teacher.

But watch out for my leg.

Yes, I will.

Don't hurt me.

You're playing that, honey, like you're
playing oboe.

All right. On.

Get right on it, honey.

Honey When

you

get through with that honey, I'm gonna
ram my cock in

your home like here to tomorrow

Nick. Nick.

Yippee!

Rodham. Rodham Cowboy.

Yeah. Oh,

that tongue's like a Brandon iron,
honey.

Millie and I went many places together.

Millie went to work.

Hi, it's all a little busy.

Oh, hi, Millie. No, things have been a
little slow today.

Have you seen Elmer anywhere?

Sure have. He's right behind me, and I'm
late. I have to get to work.

Hi, Mr. Brown. How do you feel today?

Well, I'd better you don't ask. A fever
I got and a headache, and I'm

constipated. All right.

Are you going to take my pulse?

Sure. You know I need to practice.

Millie, guess who's staying in this
hotel?

Who?

Rocky Incognito.

Rocky Incognito? Silly.

Mr. Rocky Nichols. You know, the big
recording's even called down a room

service. I'm going to go up there in a
few minutes and see him.

Terrific. Yeah.

Mm -mm.

Mm -mm. What? What's a mm -mm? What?

Sorry. Mr. Brown, you have a slightly
fast pulse beat. I knew it. This morning

on the toilet. Oh, my God, the pressure.

Hi, everybody.

Just thought I'd drop in and say hi.

Hi, George. Hi, George.

Well, Wilmer, how's it going with
inventory?

Don't ask.

I just found out that somebody in the
hotel is charging hundreds, even

of pink towels to our account.

Oh, my God, the money.

Why don't you file bankruptcy, silly
boy?

How can I do that?

I got out a living.

What about your rent?

Well, Elmer, don't get so tight. You
might have a stroke.

I'll have it for you in a couple of
days. It's been an odd month.

A couple of days, he says. A couple of
days. For four months, he's been telling

me a couple of days. Right.

Well, there's no sense standing here
arguing with you.

I might as well get back to my barber
shop and see if I can make the money so

you can have your pound of flesh. That's
a good idea.

You know, as well as I do, there are 50
rooms in this hotel, Elmer. Yeah, 50

rooms. 50 rooms require 100 sheets,
right?

Even when we're full. How come we're
getting billed for 200 sheets, Elmer? I

have no idea. Oh, my God, the pain. I've
got to go to the toilet. Excuse me.

Constantly, that toilet.

I'm sorry, honey. I said I was gay.

I mean, it's nice, but... You're just
not Ralph.

Feels good.

I wish he was somebody else.

I read in the paper and discussed it
with Millie. I wanted to meet this

Count who needed a travelling companion.

I was determined that I was to be the
one he wanted.

I still don't know why he wanted a blood
type, though.

I hurried and got dressed for the Count.

He seemed very rich and I was anxious to
meet him.

I dressed in private and my dressing
accommodations were the best.

I wanted everything to be in good taste
and I always associated with class.

A very distinguished looking gentleman
with a lot of class kept watching me as

got dressed.

I didn't blame him.

He wanted so much to meet me, and he
gave me his card.

He said he was a producer who was in
trouble with the Internal Revenue

I was very excited.

The day was sunny and the boats in the
marina were all lined up.

I kept walking, looking for his boats,
as the newspaper indicated.

I looked and looked and walked them out.

Finally... I saw this man dressed all in
black.

He was cleaning his boat, and the boat
was the count.

I thought it was the count, and I walked
up to him, and we convinced together.

Oh, he was charming.

He wanted to run around with me, so we
chased each other along the marina. It

was fun.

He was very determined to make a lasting
impression on me.

We got a real kick out of each other.

What country was he from?

I think he mentioned he lived someplace
in Transvania.

That must be near Philadelphia.

Oh, that's where they signed the
Declaration of Independence in 1776,

You could say so.

Then I had two other friends at the
hospital.

They both lived at the hotel.

One of them, Virginia, she was really
crazy.

She was always trying to marry a rich
man.

Who doesn't?

Virginia went to extremes to get one.

Tell me about her.

To get him.

Hey, Margie.

What? Remember that guy, Rodney Morton
Stewart, the third, that millionaire who

was in the hospital for a while?

Yeah, whatever happened to him?

Well, he granted an interview to the
paper. See?

And he says he's looking for a virgin
wife.

Oh, good luck.

Virgin wife, huh?

You've screwed everyone in the hotel
except for Harry the doorman. That's

because he's 69.

Give me time.

Oh, Virginia.

You can be my noice any time.

Oh,

what tits.

to take your temperature, huh?

Oh, suck it in. Suck it in, baby.

Suck it in.

Suck it into you.

some red pigment, and maybe we could
fool him. I'll pay a visit to surgery

tomorrow. Oh, Margie, you think of
everything.

I'm going to pass for the only virgin in
this whole town.

Come on, hurry up. He's going to be here
at 2 o 'clock.

Oh, okay.

But you know, the hardest part is the
preparation.

Whoa.

That's awful big.

Don't worry about it. It's not going to
hurt you.

It's not going to hurt it.

No, in fact, you might enjoy it.

I don't know.

Oh.

Oh, yes, all right.

Just like a virgin.

And I think you should try and act like
one.

I will, I will.

But the only thing is, I don't remember
what I did the first time.

I don't think I screamed.

Well, we better hurry up and get ready.

Oh, Virginia, stop scratching.

I can't help it. It itches. I don't
care. It looks terrible.

Wouldn't you look fine?

Hi. I'm Rodney Morton Stewart III.

I'm Virginia.

Virginia.

Glad to meet you.

Okay. All right. I'll try.

Oh, there he is.

Meanwhile, my friend Virginia met
Rodney, the rich man.

It was hilarious.

Excuse me.

My name is... is Rodney Morton Stewart
III.

And you must be the beautiful Virginia.

I'm Virginia.

This is my girlfriend, Margie.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Maybe we can get better acquainted so we
can do the desert

song together.

I hope so, Rodney Morton Stewart III.

How's your money?

Pardon me?

How's your mother?

Fine.

She's fine.

You dance?

I don't dance, don't you think?

I don't dance, don't you think?

What did you say? Sit down.

Oh, I'd love to.

Well, Jenny, I guess I'll go.

Okay, bye.

I'll be seeing you, Your Highness.

Mr. Stare... Mr.

Stuart III.

Are you sure you want a virgin?

to your bedroom.

All right.

Why did you do that?

A creature of impulse.

I can't live without you.

Yes, indeed.

Why don't you just row for a closer
inspection?

Okay. You won't laugh, will you?

Indeed. I might take off my robe, make
you feel a little more at home.

Yeah, that would make me more
comfortable if you took off your robe.

Mind if I take a little close look? No,
no, no, no, no. Please, go right

ahead.

Oh, you are very, very tiny. You might
be a virgin of God.

Rodney Morton Stewart III.

Yes. He was looking for a virgin wife.
Can you imagine?

So? So he found one in Switzerland.

But I thought he was in Virginia.

I'm convinced you really are a virgin.

I told you so.

I like you very much.

Let's go to the cashier.

Why don't we go to the cash bar?

Oh, yeah.

Rodney?

Virginia?

Rodney?

Virginia?

You won't hurt me, will you?

I went back to the hotel to see my
friend Millie.

We had lunch together in her office.

And she told me about a very big
photographer who wanted to picture me.

Hi. Hi.

Have you anything to eat around here?

I'm stuffed.

I haven't eaten for three days.

I can't pinch anymore at the hospital,
you know. They got vice to me.

Well, Sharon, what are you going to do?

I don't know.

I'm flat broke.

You know how it could make a few bucks.

Let's see.

You could model.

Chuck Grinson in 542 uses models.

Yeah?

But you better get out of that uniform.

Sure.

Does he pay?

Sure does.

And if not, you'll have some food.

Not after you've left.

I ran as quickly as I could to the
photographer's studio in the hotel.

Hi.

Hi. What can I do for you? You can hire
me as a model.

I don't use models anymore.

Even if I did, my wife would have to be
here.

Why? She's jealous.

Maybe you don't like my figure.

Oh, no, it's not that.

Don't. My wife might come in.

So what?

You're a pro. You can explain it. I
wouldn't have a chance to explain to

Vivian would kill us both.

Do you like that?

Yeah, but put your coat on.

Look how friendly I am. Yes, fine, but
you see, if she comes... But, you know,

understand. She's liable to come in, and
if she comes in, then we're all in a

lot of trouble here. Don't worry.

Here, please, put your clothes back on.

But, no, you...

Wait until you see that.

Yes, I can see that fine, but...

My wife's liable to come in here any
minute.

Don't worry. She won't. She won't.

Yes. That's nice.

But I don't think we should... No.

You like a kiss?

Can't do that because my wife is...
Forget about your wife.

My God, that's my wife. Come on, hi.

Quick.

Oh, darling, I'm glad you did. Oh, you
must be so busy. Oh, yeah, I am. I'm

trying to set up this scene here, and
I'm a little late.

Oh, what nice material.

Oh, yes, they want me to do a still life
using those clothes.

But what are these panties doing here?

Oh, you can have them as soon as I'm
through.

Do you have a model to go with these?

I was going to call you, dear, just as
soon as you showed up.

Oh. Yes.

Oh, I know you're always faithful.

Of course, dear.

After all, if I ever thought of sex with
another girl, why, may lightning

strike.

After the photographer created
lightning, he's so clever, the

wife fell down and everybody was in the
dark.

Elmer put the lights on again and he
noticed everyone on the floor. It was

funny, but strange.

Alma? Ellie?

Yeah? Oh.

Oh, nothing to worry about, girl. Just a
bone fuse.

So that's life, huh?

She's a real doll.

She is?

Do you still manage to satisfy her?

Oh, you know, I guess I do. Oh, I bet
you still can.

Yeah, well, I try.

I do it if I can. Say, how come you
don't have any mustard?

I don't what?

Mustard. I found the roast beef sandwich
in the kitchen. But there's no mustard.

Oh, I don't know. I don't eat mustard
very often.

What are you doing?

Oh, it feels good, but what are you
doing?

Do anything more good to you? Oh,
please.

Be serious.

Come on. Don't pretend you don't like
it. I can feel you do. Oh, Sherry,

I'm going to show you how good a model I
can be.

Get her.

Get her.

Let's me forget her.

What are you doing?

Just a few feet away.

Hide.

You feel so good.

I showed the photographer how good I
was.

He enjoyed the session, of course.

And I got the job.

I also had a good meal.

I'm getting tired.

Shall we rest here? Looks nice. We could
some days grow up.

Yeah, why don't we?

Okay, let's take our clothes off.

Okay.

What are the styles like when they
dress?

All styles, people with money dress very
elegantly.

The nice thing in California especially,
you can go any place at all and dress

in anything you want. You can go to the
finest hotels in Dirty Levi's or you can

go in a very elegant evening gown. I
love that. You can always dress just as

feel.

They go barefoot a lot in California.

Oh, no, everybody wears beautiful shoes.

And the men, they have those collared
shoes with platforms, and you see them

walking down the avenues, and they have
little leather purses.

What's he laughing about?

Oh, Jack.

He was a really, really fat guy, and he
was hilarious.

Tell me more.

You know, he liked all the girls.

So Jack the barber who gossiped a lot.

Told him a story about one of the girls
in the hotel.

Tell me about the girl.

Oh, I don't know where to start.

Hi, George.

Well, hi, Thelma. How are you? Fine,
you?

Pretty good.

I'll see you later. Okay.

George, who is that?

What's her name?

Yeah, she's nice. We like girls. Man, if
I don't get a woman soon, I'll rape a

snake.

Male or female?

Female, of course.

What do you think, I'm queer?

There's a hot one in the hotel.

Where? Where?

Where? Where?

It's over there.

Yeah? The Curtis sisters.

Oh, uh, yeah, yeah. Which one?

Spread it out over the bed and lie down
and... You know what?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'll try it. I'll try it.

Room 607, eh?

Right. And remember, all the juicy
details.

Fat Jack was very excited because he
wanted to meet his sister.

So he walked through the hotel.

He didn't know what sister he would
find.

In the meantime, Sally, the cold one,
was getting dressed to leave her

apartment.

He wanted a sexy one, but he was so shy,
he didn't know what to do.

Fat Jack couldn't wait to get to her
apartment, but everybody was in his way.

He heard the shower going, and just as
he was about to enter the apartment,

Sally the cold one left.

That Jack entered the apartment and took
his chances.

Meantime, Elmer was at Virginia's
apartment.

He was always complaining.

Oh, he worried so much about those
apartments.

Still looking for the pink towels,
Elmer? It should only be pink towels.

My God, I received a bill for 100 jars
of Vaseline charged to the hotel.

I can't go on like this, Virginia.

Don't worry, Mr. Brown. It's just
probably a mistake.

It should only be a mistake.

Somebody's been making toll charges and
charging it to the hotel number.

Maybe you heard something, huh, Margie?

Maybe it's Mr. D.

Shh.

Listen, so it shouldn't be a total loss.
Can I use your toilet? Oh, the pen.

Just make sure you aim, Elmer.

That feels good. Swedes give the best
massages.

Not necessarily.

I knew a guy in America who worked in a
hotel in a massage parlor. Was he a

massage man?

No.

Only beautiful women.

Murray's boyfriend, Bobby, worked at a
hotel as a masseur.

He met Anne, the sexy one of the Curtis
sisters.

Anne was always on the make for a man,
and she was crazy about Bobby.

Rub my left shoulder, Bobby. It hurts.

You're right, ma 'am.

You've got a muscle out of place right
about there.

Now, you'll have to be careful when you
lift.

Where's your mother?

Well, she left me in charge, ma 'am.

You have beautiful muscles, Bobby.

Why, thank you, ma 'am. I do 50 push
-ups a day.

Who? I mean, where?

Oh, down at the gym.

I think a fellow ought to just be in
good shape these days.

I wouldn't want you to get mad at little
me. I bet you could probably squeeze me

to death.

Squeeze you to death?

Why, Miss Curtis, I wouldn't do a thing
like that. I like you and your sister

Sally.

You know, Bobby, there's a certain way
that I like to be massaged.

Well, how's that, Miss Curtis?

Well, let me show you.

Well, all right.

What do you mean?

Just get on the table. I'll show you.

On the table?

Well, it won't hurt. I'll show you how
nice this can be.

Well, my mother never told me about this
part of the business, Miss Curtis.

I love the feel of dermatitis.

Well,

I think it's sticky.

Yes, I know.

Well... But it does great things for
you.

Oh, shit.

What's wrong, honey? You're urgent?

Well, I really haven't been... Oh, come
on now.

It's a joy.

Well, if you say so.

Like an older woman to teach you how...
Yeah. You don't really know.

Well, uh... Let me unfasten your belt.
Oh, God.

Miss Curtis, I really don't know what
we're... What

about the rent?

Well, I'm a little embarrassed this
month, Elmer.

One of the nurses at the hospital was
always late.

We called her, I'm late, I'm late, girl.

I'm late, I'm late for a very important
date.

Elmer and George were always talking
about high finances.

Can I have two fives for ten, would you?
I certainly have, George. Give me two

fives for ten.

Two fives for ten.

There you go. One five?

Two fives.

Ten? Ten,

George.

There you go. Now, what do you... You
would have to have five single...

You wouldn't have to have a ten. Give me
a five.

Do you have a ten?

A ten, yeah. Give me a ten. Give me a
ten first. For what? I'll explain it to

you later. Give me a ten first, will
you?

Thank you. Now give me a five. Now we're
even, right? No, we're not even,

George. You've got to give me ten more.

I just gave you a five.

Yeah, I gave you five singles and
five... But I gave you five for the five

singles. Oh, yeah. And you gave me five.
Yeah, you're right. We're even, right?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

You don't think I'd cheat you?

No. I love you too much.

We really had fun in America.

Elmer was always in the bathroom
listening to conversations.

Why in the bathroom?

Oh, he had some kind of kidney trouble.

That's what our Uncle Henry has.

Yeah, you're right. Come to think of it.

speaking. Okay, well, shoot.

You need what?

And a plunger.

Okay, George, right away, right away.

Is that okay?

Yes, now take it easy.

What's he need this time?

I think he has a plumbing problem.

Watch him, Salma, I think he's slippery.

Look out, Red Bear, here I come.

Tell me about George the Barber.

George the barber was always a little
strange.

He's got a good memory, you know.

And sometimes he put them in the
strangest places.

George, I'm here.

Oh, Selma, come in, honey.

How the hell did you ever get into this?

Selma, I'm sure glad you're a nurse. I
really need your help.

George, they never showed me this in
nursing school.

Well, silly, don't stand there, honey.
Try and...

Do something.

I mean, it hurts.

Well, what happened?

Well, I was lying down, or rather I was
kneeling down, hugging Teddy,

and thinking about Carol here. Isn't he
beautiful?

Carol? It's my boyfriend.

And anyway, he's out of town doing a
modeling job.

Oh, I see. I was thinking about Carol,
and, well, I started messing around.

And with his Coke bottle and... Well, it
slipped in.

So why didn't you just flip it out?

Oh, my God, George. Oh, my God.

Flippery? What you did to me? It won't
come out. What do you have on it?

Vaseline. Vaseline.

Vaseline. Vaseline, 99.

George. 98.

Hold still.

97. Tell me, will you shut up?

Brace yourself.

Oh, don't, honey.

Hey, George. Really, there's something
that hurts.

George.

George. Elmer, what do you want at a
time like this? I'm going to have to use

both hands. Hold still.

A hundred bottles of Vaseline. Somebody
charge us an hotel.

Give her some Vaseline. Where did you
get it?

What are you doing?

George. Don't. Don't touch me there,
honey. Really, it hurts.

Hey, George. I've never had anything in
so far before.

George, you're cheating me out of $15.
George, I think surgery is going to be

required. You're going to have to go to
the hospital. Elmer, I didn't cheat you

out of $15.

I gave you $15. You asked me for $5.

You gave me $10. You gave me $10.

So are you talking about... No, I gave
you a $10 bill and a $5. You asked me

five singles, right?

George, I can't do that. We have to go
to the hospital. Oh, my God. Come on.

Hey, Selma.

Elmer, listen to me. Have you seen any
pink towels, Selma?

No, I haven't seen any pink towels this
minute. Elmer, I want to get one thing

straight. I gave you $5 toward the rent.

Yeah, and I gave you a $10 bill. And I
gave you a $5.

And then I gave you another $5. That's
right. Right. That's two $5. That's $10.

Yeah.

No, I gave you a $5 single.

I gave you a $10 bill.

Oh, please, Elmer, shut up. And you gave
me $5 back. I'll explain it to you

later. You just don't understand.

You want me to help you or not?

I can't afford it. You're telling me.

Honest to God, I can't take much more of
it.

All the pink totals are missing. Will
you please try to get the bottle out of

where it is? You have to get this bottle
out.

Selma had to take George to the hospital
for some minor surgery.

Dr. Levinson.

Dr. Levinson.

George.

Dr. Silberstein.

Dr.

Silberstein.

Sissy. I didn't realize it went in so
far.

Let's try it once more.

Oh, George, you've got a problem.

It really hurts, Doc.

First, we've got to do something about
it.

It's my teddy bear.

He's added something to it.

Teddy bear?

My boyfriend Carol gave it to me for
Christmas last year. Right, George. It's

against policy, George. You know.

You can't have it.

You know better.

I know what.

Bye, Teddy.

Doctor.

In the meantime, they did a marvelous
operation on George.

Tracheotomy, a little pressure, about 40
pounds. Will it hurt?

Oh, William, we don't know about that.
We don't even know if it's going to

We don't have the time gauge.

No gauge. We lost the time gauge.

Something's wrong, doctor?

Think I got it in that far.

You didn't think you got it in that far.

Certainly carried away, Richard George.

It was only fooling around.

I think the only thing to do is to
relieve the pressure on there, Doctor.

Maybe try twisting it.

No. No, I think... Try the home remedy.

Oh, vapor line.

Here you go, Doc.

You're not going to go in too far, are
you, Doc?

No, George.

This will be just like drilling your new
one.

You'll be all right.

All right.

Careful. I'm very sensitive there.

Sixteen ounces of Coke bottle and you're
sensitive?

Here, you work the second shift.

Do you need anesthetic?

Never again. It's not worth it. It's
your turn.

How am I going to drill if you're going
to hold my hand?

Your hand must be quivering. I've never
seen you play so badly.

By the way, how's your part -time job at
the hotel?

Oh, you know, it gives me strange
experiences.

As you can see, George, you know.

We'll broaden your experience.

Just as soon as we're through with
bottle -happy George. Oh, really?

Be nice. Be nice, Doc. That's really not
very nice.

That felt so good, I could give you a
big fat kiss.

Carol would get jealous.

You're right. I'll throw this in the
trash.

No.

Selma, I get a three -set deposit on
that.

George.

Put it in the bag for me, will you?

Of course.

Thanks.

Can I have my teddy bear back, Doc?

Oh, Doc, by the way, do you think you
could arrange this little episode on

workman's comp?

I don't know. What do you think?

Thank you, doctor.

Bye.

Bye. Finger shot?

Unbelievable. Can we have lunch?

I asked, doctor, did you notice
something strange about the color of

skin? I did, but I didn't want to say
anything.

What do you mean, my skin?

Yes, it looks like a strange arrested
case of blood disorientation.

Could be serious, doctor.

Yes. I think we should prepare for an
examination.

I'm sorry about this, Selma.

But as your doctor, I feel that I should
examine your various organs more

closely. Oh, yes, definitely.

Do I really look that bad?

Yes.

Well, I have to check a patient to see
you later.

As my learned colleague, Dr. Bernstein,
said.

We must be prepared for this
examination.

Immediately.

And at the end, Selma had her experience
brought in by the doctor.

Hello?

Could you run down to the lobby and see
if there's someone else that you could

send up for Marion?

Thank you.

At the hotel, there was a couple, Rhonda
and Marion, and Rhonda was always

calling Selma to send bellhops up to
their room.

Wherever you are.

I'm so glad you could come. I haven't
come yet.

Well, come on.

Get into it.

I love you, Rhonda. Oh, Miriam, I love
you too.

I hope you don't mind, but this is the
only way that Miriam can get satisfied.

Oh, I hope you keep on satisfying her.

Marion, it turned out, was a
transvestite and really a man.

It was funny.

Marion would finally take off his wig
and make laughter to tell her Bowie felt

left out.

What about

your pictures, Sherry?

Oh, I continued to make many more.

Funny, but my friend Millie always had
unusual friends and jokes for me.

Well, didn't get a job.

Yeah, there's a guy in 509.

He's got sort of unusual talent. Do you
roll a skate?

Sure, I do anything.

Well, if you want to, you can go up
there and get a couple bucks.

Right now, hurry up.

Bye -bye.

Billy, the boy at the massage parlor,
took Sally out.

Sally was the cold sister, and they
found each other.

Billy and Sally liked each other and
they were building a terrific one -to

relationship.

Thank you.

You know who I gave a massage to, Miss
Curtis?

Who?

Your sister, Ann.

Boy, what an experience.

What happened?

Let me tell you what she did, you know.
She gave me a massage, too, you know.

She did?

What happened?

Well, I gotta say, it's kind of
embarrassing to talk about.

I'll tell you, she, uh...

Sally was shocked when Billy told her
what her sister did to him.

Tell me about Rocky Nichols, the big
recording star.

He went through through.

Being a good nerd, he thought he would
supply him with vitamin E.

And she says he can't choose.

Oh, yes, he loved the whole experience.

Selma really wanted to get to know
Rocky, so she arranged to be in his

You make it?

I think I'm turning into a juice freak.

Not with this.

Well, as long as it's cold, I'll drink
it.

Well, we have everything here. Why don't
I pour it for you?

If you promise me that you'll join me.

Sure, I'd love to.

Thank you.

It's really any good?

So they say.

It's supposed to be healthy for you.

Here's a toast to us.

All right.

Mmm.

It is good.

It's tangy.

That's private.

I thought you were saving it for me.

For you?

For me.

You advertise.

That doesn't mean you have to buy.

Free of your life views.

Sitting over here.

And what do you think I'm supposed to
do?

Keep my answer myself?

Drink my carrot juice?

How long will you be here, Mr. Nichols?

Rocky. Rocky, yes.

Oh.

About as long enough as it takes to
write a few songs.

Good. Cut a few records.

You have awful sweet skin, my dear.

Thank you.

And your mother's side?

Must be milk and honey.

Very sweet.

So did you, my dear.

I just love your records.

Oh, you do? You listen to them a lot?

All the time. You do, huh?

I'm glad I have a fan here.

Yeah, fans everywhere.

Oh, not like this one, though.

Don't be so nervous, my dear.

Look, it's Rocky.

I'm not nervous.

It's warm, isn't it?

It sure is.

You should get more comfortable.

I agree with you 100 % on that.

Oh, my.

Sweet little melons.

Why don't we go someplace where it's a
little more private?

Why don't we go into my other room? Or
to my bedroom?

Oh, he's fine.

And was he satisfied with everything?

Oh, everything.

He even gave me his autograph.

I don't believe it. He did. Let me see
it.

Oh, I don't know if I can.

It's kind of personal.

Oh, come on. The autograph is an
autograph, right?

Well, not really.

All right. You have to come over here to
see it.

Millie, my friend the nurse, was nice.

Oh, she had so many friends.

Her boyfriend John was sick and they
took him into the hospital and put him

her ward.

She and John were engaged to be married
and every chance she had, she came into

his room and helped him.

She took good care of him and made him
feel completely at home.

Of course, she always maintained a good
nursing arrangement with John and she

made sure he didn't have a fever or
anything.

Later, honey. We'll talk about it later.
Just go to bed.

Suck my balls.

Oh, please.

Just go to bed.

We had an interesting talk, and he had a
way about him that almost hypnotized

you. He discussed his coming back
together with me.

I want you to look deeply into my eyes.
Very deeply.

Deeper and deeper into my eyes.

I want you to fall in love with me, to
be with me everywhere.

Walk with me.

For the last days of my life, together,
forever.

You want to put your neck to my lips?

Now, follow.

Come.

Step down.

Sock.

Don't.

We started to discuss our relationship
and came to an understanding.

It is so important that two people
understand each other completely.

Well, anyway, we got on well together.

He told me about making me happy the
rest of my life.

In fact, he was so silly.

He told me that he would immortalize me,
isn't he?

Really?

Anyway, we got on well together.

I went to his yacht again and he showed
me nature and the ocean and the marina

and all the ships.

Oh, it was like a dream.

It was wonderful.

Then I woke up and I heard a boat
whistle. Things started to happen then.

I don't know why, but I ran and ran away
as fast as I could.

The count was sad at our separation.

But then again, I had my life to live
and he had his.

I felt he was living in a box when I
told him so.