All language subtitles for Ultra

The issue here is sex, or rather, the
lack of sex.

As we all know, the men of the world
have become completely and totally

impotent. And what is worse, no one
seems to know the reason why.

The women are very angry and demanding
that something be done.

Crazy women.

It is rumored that the First Lady has
locked herself in her room and accosted

flower vase in protest. Billy, you
didn't. I didn't do that. That's

And these godforsaken areas are located
in the upper... Gentlemen, we've got to

find the cure.

The welfare of the entire world is at
stake, all right?

It's a communist plot. They're putting
something in our drinking water.

Now, look, the Russians can't get it up
any more than we can.

Now, can't our scientists come up with
something?

They have a hundred theories, sir, but I
think it's the air we breathe.

Our economy is dying.

The diaper people are at my throats.
Construction is down.

Housing's in trouble.

Everybody's suffering. Sugar from
sucrose. You have it for breakfast. It's

for you.

Damn sweet.

Dr. Wiesenthal, sir, says that sugar is
the cause of this whole problem.

She's a fanatic.

She also claims that the damage is
irreversible.

Sir, she's also a highly respected
scientist.

Not commie.

Set me up with an appointment with her
right away.

We now consume nearly 6 ,000 pounds of
sugar per person per year.

Damn. And sugar prices have risen 12
,000 % over the last few years.

Somebody is making a bundle and
destroying the world all at the same

do you recommend?

Stop all sugar imports.

Mr. President, your actions are putting
a strain on the relations between our

countries.

I'm sorry, Mr. Sugarman, but our
scientists claim that it's your sugar

causing the world's problems.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

In our country, we have more sugar than
the world combined.

We have absolutely no problem with
fucking.

You don't? We don't.

You mean your men aren't impotent?

That's right.

Look, before you do nothing, fly down,
see for yourself.

All right. I'll accept your invitation.

Buen.

Excellent idea.

Let's go on.

Come on, honey. Let's go.

Now, did you believe?

We stuff ourselves with sugar and are as
potent as a day we turn 80.

Darling, what is it? What is it? Oh,
it's all right, darling. It's just an

asthma attack.

Are you sure?

Oh, I'm just fine.

Okay.

You must look elsewhere for the answer
to your problems. Mr. Sugarman, I'm

convinced that we can continue to do
business.

Well, I'd like to stay here and study
this phenomenon.

It will be a pleasure to have you. See,
darling, I told you the effects of this

were not permanent. There is hope.

Ah, a toast with our wonderful sugar
wife.

To the continued good relations between
both our countries.

To good relations.

Screw the relations.

Here's to fucking.

Oh

All right.

No! No! No!

been too much for my wife.

I think you'll have to excuse us.

Oh, yes. Yes, I understand completely.

Thank you.

Spit

that

stuff out! Spit it out, you asshole!
That's enough of this poison! The show

over!

I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, give me.

Oh, listen.

You guys got it a little better than
this. It's freezing in here.

Give me the bucket.

Listen, freedom's minus 200 degrees.
This is maybe minus 180.

You guys do me 20 degrees better.

Listen, give me ice, you monkeys. You
fucking monkeys got to get more ice.

We can't get you anymore. Listen, you
get more ice or I'll break your fucking

neck. Get out of here.

He's our leader.

He's our leader. We're getting ice.

This fucking planet.

This fucking planet.

Mr.

President? Leave me alone. I've got a
headache.

You always have a headache.

Maybe I ought to stay in Triclosia.

At least I have some fun.

I'm going to sleep.

Oh, I'm sorry, Doctor. We're going to
miss you at the Capitol.

Well, I've changed my mind. I'm not
going to stay here.

Well, why the sudden change?

Look here.

Mr. Sugarman is an alien from the planet
Zeon.

Well, no.

Really, Doctor, I do... No, honest. I
saw him. He sleeps in an ice house.

It's 180 degrees below zero, and it's
still too hot for him. I know you've

under tremendous strain, Doctor.

I'm not under any strain. You've got to
believe me.

Now, I know that a prolonged absence of
sex can do strange things to a human

psyche. Ask my wife if you don't believe
me.

Get your bags. We'll be leaving soon,
all right?

Come on, honey.

Committee members, there you have it.

The Earth is impotent.

Those Earthlings haven't been the
brightest creatures in the universe.

But don't forget, they're the ones that
re -taught us the art of sucking and

fucking. We owe them.

You're right about that.

The situation is desperate. We have to
send them an emissary.

We already gave them Superman.

Yes, but what good is he?

Hey, he's laid up on the earth with the
rest of the men.

Oh, no.

Yes.

Anyway, this problem requires special
handling.

Someone with very special talent.

A woman.

Ultra -flesh.

Yeah, that's for me, ultra -flesh.

We're gonna bring Ultra Flesh out of
retirement.

Ultra Flesh!

Ultra Flesh! Ultra Flesh! Ultra

Flesh!

Greetings from all of us beautiful,
beautiful ultra -flesh.

Members of the Galactic Federation.

It's been a long, long time.

We're sorry to bring you out of
retirement, but there's been a most

situation on Earth.

That's too bad.

I always liked the Earth.

The men there are all impotent.

Oh, no.

I always liked to go there. I remember
Mark Anthony's entire army.

The legions of Rome.

There was never impotence there before.

Well, there is now.

Sugar Man from the planet Freon is
behind this conspiracy.

He's trying to prepare Earth for his own
people. You see, Freon is warming up.

And the Earth is in for another ice age.

And as you know, the people from Freon
need cold.

So remember.

Don't get too close to him.

His cock can turn you to clay.

Luckily, your power is in your pussy.

So if you're ever in trouble, you can
melt him away by coming.

You know, coming with Sugar Man wouldn't
be the easiest thing in the world.

Don't worry.

I'll give you a fantasy that will
overcome anything.

Bye -bye.

That was one hell of a fantasy.

Thank you.

You're welcome, Ultra.

Now listen.

We're sending you to Earth on the tail
of a comet.

It's already programmed to hit Crumble
Hall.

This could be a mighty big job.

Don't worry.

We'll send you back up if you need.

Here comes the comet.

Take care, Ultra.

If we were behind this, would my people
be suffering too?

has been cut in half.

You two are giving me such a headache.

I cannot believe it.

Believe it. The people of China
cannot...

In my country, they would be whipped.

In my country, they would be shot.

This is the second week of the protest
and the second day of the summit

conference of the world leaders.

The conference has moved from Harve's
bumper cars to Crumble Ball Barnes for

security reasons, when a confrontation
occurred between children and the

leaders.

Is anyone going to say anything, or are
we still not talking to one another?

What's there to talk?

I'm in real trouble.

If I don't return with hold on, my
people will cut off my teeth.

Because that's the only cock that can
crow here.

What the hell did he say?

He said...

I've got elections coming up, and any
peasant with a hard -on can run me out

office.

I'm in the same boat, gentlemen.

Excuse me, Mr. President.

What? Our radar has picked up a strange
object in the sky, and it's heading

straight for Camp Crumbleball.

What is it? We're not sure, sir, but it
looks like a comet.

Shut the door!

There's no time! It's going to hit the
fucking ground!

I am Ultra Flesh, sent from the Galactic
Federation to save the world.

What did

he say, Brad?

He said now he can go back and fuck all
of Russia.

I think he has already done that.

We'll have to call a press conference
and tell the world we can fuck again.

Look at me, sir.

Shut up, Brad.

You may all have erections, but you're
not ready to fuck yet.

First, you have to make it with me.

Beautiful. Shut up.

Oh, how they do it.

Red, what's he saying? Oh, my God.

Mother, my mother.

I'm next in line, Mr. President, after
everybody.

Don't forget me.

Shut up, Brad.

Now you have the seat of potency.

Go forth and fuck the world.

Whomever you come in contact with will
gain this potency and pass it on to the

next person and so on and so on. It will
spread like VD throughout the world.

Her rage suddenly causes men to
fornicate again.

This woman has plagued me for centuries.

But I'm going to get even with her this
time.

But how?

You can't do that. You can't get near
her. She's too hot for you.

But I have the secret ultimate weapon,
stupid.

The super frozen cannon dong.

I'm going to fuck her and freeze her to
death.

Nobody can survive the super frozen
cannon dong.

President, we've got to call out the
enforcement.

Call out the National Guard.

Men, they're beginning to tear down the
front gates.

This isn't going to work.

What?

There's too many men.

Well, what do you suggest?

First of all, we set up a place for my
working quarters.

Then we screen all of the men so we get
an equal amount from each section of the

country. That way we could slowly but
surely get the job done.

Well, I guess you're right. What do you
think, Brad?

Might work, sir. All right. Next.

Here's my application.

Eleven months, huh?

Okay, you can go ahead.

Thank you.

Next.

Hello. Hi.

Hi.

Don't be nervous.

I'm nervous.

Next.

that have been impotent the longest.
Those with nine bad months or less,

leave.

Those with 10 bad months, line up here.
Those with 11 bad months or more,

line up over here.

No, no, no, no

I'm coming!

Jack has finally got his beanstalk.

Jesus,

it's cold out here.

Hope the president gets done with that
meeting soon.

Come on, let's go inside. At least you
can be warm while we wait.

Okay.

You know, doctor, I'm surprised to see
you back here.

Now that we've solved the problem.

But that's just it. We haven't solved
anything.

I came to tell the president that if we
don't stop eating sugar, the whole

thing's going to happen all over again.

You sure, doctor?

I've researched it long enough.

Come on in, Doctor.

Make yourself comfortable, and I'll see
if the President is through with his

meeting yet. Thank you, Ben.

Come on.

Next.

Next.

Lovely.

Would you like a sample?

A lot.

Burn, sugar man.

Burn.

This is not the end of it.

We'll be back.

I think it's time to call out the
reinforcements.

Ultra needs help.

I agree.

Hey, look!

There's naked broads falling from the
sky. Hundreds of them. Hundreds of them.

Ugh.

Oh, yes.

a $50 wager on this game.

No, I'm sorry. I never bet with my
staff.

Oh.

25? All right, you're on.

Great.

Mr. President. What is it? Take a look
outside.

Well, what... What in the... What are
all those women doing out there?

Looks like an invasion, Brad.

Catastrophic, isn't it, sir?

Send for Alter immediately.

Right away. Brad, come on.

I've been waiting for this. Oh,

look at here.

Did you bring your snake bite kit? Oh, I
forgot it.

So you better mind your P's and Q's.

No, keep it away.

I want to be next.

Why don't you watch outside?

I'll watch outside.

Water skin will stay in good view.

I've been waiting for this for a long
time.

You ever been laid by a midget before?

You're gonna like this.

Wow.

It's fantastic.

You see, Mr. President, it's big.

I know, I know.

No, not that. The job, it's too big for
me to do on my own.

Oh, I see.

Just fantastic.

Unbelievable. Brad, will you shut up?

My fleshheads.

Well, that's nice.

I've trained them myself, personally.

They certainly appear to be.

I'm tired.

You see, even my energy cells need
revitalizing once in a while.

Oh, Altra, you do need a rest.

How inconsiderate of us to think you
could go on screwing forever.

Why don't you stay up here and rest with
us for a while? Well, thank you, Mr.

President. I'd be delighted.

You'd like that, wouldn't you, darling?

Oh, Sugar Man could very possibly come
here.

He's already tried to kill me once at my
headquarters.

Sugarman? Yes, Sugarman. The limp dick
demon.

You mean reason all was right all along.

I owe her an apology.

Now take off your blouse.

Or else.

Just keep him away from me.

You look good, Sam.

You're gonna like this.

You're doing it right.

Good. Suck it, man.

Suck it good.

Suck it good now. Don't fight.

Baby, it's something else.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, stop it.

No.

Submit.

Like this.

No, I don't.

Naboo, I hear you.

Right. You're being a good girl.

Come on, baby. Take it all in.

Take it home.

You think you're really big stuff, don't
you?

Would you take it easy?

Stop it.

Where's the snake?

He's in you.

Is that you?

Who else would a bitch would eat?

How did it go?

Not so good.

You better get the can down ready.

She's really going to get fucked
tonight.

Shut up, damn it. Oh, it's so hot.

But, look, the food is all defrosting. I
know you have to stay cold any way you

can, but if the president finds out
you've been fucking with his food,

have a head. You're going to have to eat
some of this.

Peek -a -boo.

I see you.

I got tired of waiting out there. How's
it going, youngster?

Oh, boy.

Where's Boris?

Boris. Boris.

Where's Boris? Boris.

Oh, there he is. There he is.

There he is.

Great.

Wait a minute. She's getting away.

Where is she?

There we go.

Oh!

Fuel pluggin'. Comin' around the corner,
eh?

Mmm.

Half a locomotive.

engineer brad

Better than Silver Street.

Watch out, girls.

Here he comes.

Right down the track. Twenty -nine.

He's getting it with two women.

Same here.

Yeah, but there's only one thing left to
do. What's that?

That's get the cannon, Doc. Right. Let's
go.

Oh,

finally got some heat.

I need more heat.

Come on, old gold.

She's really going to get it this time.

Boy, is she. She'll get a big thrill out
of this.

So much energy.

I've worked too hard.

Shift change.

Concern? There's double duty tomorrow.

Better get some rest. Okay.

Stay away.

I know you're too weak.

You ain't no condition now.

Stay away from me.

I got you. Do you know what I do now?

I turn on your machine.

No. No.

Lay back.

I know you've been fucking too much.

I know you got no energy.

I know after centuries, centuries of
your troubling me, I got you finally

I got you. I'm going to turn you to...
Clay, bitch.

Can't you do clay?

No. Yes.

Get away from me. I like it when you try
and fight now, bitch. You're nothing.

Oh, boy.

You're just going to be frozen now.

Oh, it's cold. You're going to be frozen
now.

It's a cock.

Ooh, it's really cold.

What? What? What?

They've seen us. They've seen us over
there.

Who's seen you?

Oh, that naked woman down the hall.

You crazy little fuckers.

Get out of here. Try and stop her right
now. Get out of here. Try and stop her.

Okay, okay, you're asking me to see her.

Get away from me.

I'm taking you out of here now. No. You
shut your mouth. No.

He's bigger than both of us.

Hey, you. Hey, Blondie.

I've been waiting for this ultra.

Finish you for good now.

You've been waiting for this for
centuries.

Save us.

Shut up. Save us.

She can't save you now, you... I'll melt
him.

I got him.

I'll melt him.

I'm going to freeze these bricks now for
good. Melt him.

I'm freak.