All language subtitles for Animal.Control.S04E02.720p.HDTV.x264-SYNCOPY

Your dad sent your letter to the office.
Oh, please let it be a death

certificate.

Oh, wow. Your dad took it to the actual
newspaper.

Being old must run in your family.

Huh? You made the paper again, Dad.

That's really sweet.

No, it's psychological warfare. Every
time I'm in the paper with something

embarrassing, he sends a clipping.

Frank, did you leave a panini on? Does
Picasso leave a painting unfinished?

We got so many dogs from the Amazing
Donald's estate.

Too bad the Amazing Donald couldn't make
heart disease disappear.

Hand me those reptile bags. I need these
for the snakes, man.

You got pockets?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh,
my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Dozens

of birds coming through!

You guys got to try this.

That's good. Keep it moving, people.

And time.

I flew for one glorious moment I could
take to the sky. Great job, everybody.

that had been a real fire, all animals
would have survived.

This was a drill.

Today is the grand opening of our annex
kennels. We are expecting lots of VIPs.

Would I have liked a little bit more
time to get our sea legs at the newly

merged precinct?

Yeah, absolutely.

So, I'm going to need all hands on deck
to get this done. Can I get an ahoy? The

only thing that makes this merger
tolerable is knowing that someday the

explode and destroy the entire planet.

Ahoy! Ahoy! Thank you.

So, Victoria and Daisy, I need you two
on dog detail. I want all adoptable

pooches looking their best. That means
scrubbed, sheared, and sexy.

Sexy. Well, no one listens to me until I
say something awkward. Now, who wants

to do balloon arches?

Affirmative. Everyone knows I handle all
things balloons. They called me the

lunar back in the two -three. My man has
legit mylar skills.

Sold. Templeton's doing the arches.

Yeah, I'll need two experienced
officers.

I can give you Shred and Patel. Sure,
the Butterfinger brothers? I can smack

them back into shape.

Sorry, I nodded off. What happened? So
far, I'm supportive of this plan and my

lack of involvement.

Frank, you can either tag in and help
Templeton, or you can pick up Roman,

may I remind you, is our sponsor.

He requested a limo service, but given
our budget, the limo service... It's one

of our trucks.

That's like asking me which grandparent
I want to get a lap dance from, I guess.

Templeton? Perfect. You can moisten my
balloon tips.

I'm out. I'll pick up Roman. Just
remember, it's his face on the flyers

signature on the check, so get him here
in one piece. I promise nothing.

I have to moisten his balloon tips?

Just hold on, baby. What do you mean a
school policy? We have to invite the

entire class?

Well, no, of course. Maybe I'm going to
handle it. Yeah.

If I choke on this bagel, just don't
resuscitate me. Buddy, I've seen you

down a burrito in two bites. There's no
way a bagel's taking you out. What's up?

My kid's birthday party. It's supposed
to be him and a weird kid named Tom in

the living room playing board games. Now
I have to feed 35 kids.

35? 35 kids. Dude, that's like two
bounce houses.

Maybe I can get my kid canceled.

Just got to find out what a nine -year
-old finds offensive.

Booker time.

Oh.

I didn't know you were here. I can come
back later. No, no, no, no. It's totally

okay. It's everybody's kitchen. It's the
people's kitchen.

Right. I know. I just... I just don't
want things...

Be weird.

It's not weird. We're just two co
-workers that know what the inside of

other's mouths taste like. Yeah. We were
friends before. There's no reason why

we can't keep things platonic.

Platonic is a great word for us. Yeah.
Also, really good movie. Are you sure

you're not thinking of the movie
Platoon? I am thinking of Platoon. But

about army buddies that work together
with no romantic feelings. So it kind of

applies. That is us for the next few
months. Maybe my toast will be done by

then.

I do have to push it down. Like our
feelings.

I'm going to take my yozo.

Oh, no.

Hey.

Hey. Thank you so much for rolling with
the punches and helping Daisy. This

might be a good opportunity for you two
to bond. You know, make it fun, bitches,

washing bitches.

I don't think I've ever heard you
actually curse before.

Yeah, I hated it when I practiced it in
my office, and I hated it now. The thing

with Daisy, I don't think she loves me.

Yeah, whenever I walk into a room, she
just chats, nope.

Oh, yeah.

And he's like, no.

Yeah. You know what? I'll give it a go,
but only because I don't want that bald

spot to get any bigger. Yeah, I have
been thrift plucking again.

So, yeah.

Trip,

please trip.

Can you step outside of the vehicle,
sir, please?

No, I'm just kidding.

No, seriously, I'll be driving.

Did you steal that uniform from a Build
-A -Bear? No, Emily swore me in as an

honorary officer, which is why I'm
allowed to drive, so move over. You have

seating options, passenger side or
center console.

Emily, Frank won't let me drive.

Frank, be nice and let him drive.

When did you call Emily? Before I left
the house. Scoot.

I can't believe I should have chosen
Templeton.

Might want to adjust the mirrors in the
seat. A joke about my stature.

Sorry, we can't all be blessed with
Frankenstein's height and personality.

It's a big vehicle. You need clear lines
of sight.

All I see is a sulky Sally about to have
the ride of his life. Okay.

Stay in the truck, Frank.

Thanks for taking over the wheel while I
make some content.

Oh, I wouldn't want to deprive the
public of the daily garbage.

What up, Romaniacs?

Animal Control Officer Roman Park is in
the heezy, along with my driver, Frank

Shaw. Say hi, Frank. I do not consent to
being recorded. I'm being held against

my will.

All available units, Dangerous Dog
reported on 4th and Madrona. Respond

Sergeant Park responding. On it. No, no,
no, no. We are not on it. We're not by

it. We're not going anywhere near it.
It's your call, Sergeant.

He is not a sergeant.

Thanks, darling.

We'll take it. Do any calls, like and
subscribe.

Mark!

Wrong shape.

Uneven distribution.

Terrible spiral.

I almost lost my fingertips tying these
balloons off. Oh, you're putting on

Pinky Winky. Man up.

Where the hell's Patel?

Honey, I'm on it. I found this great
party store. Tons of stuff.

Kids like tomato juice, right?

Mmm. Nice of you to make an appearance.

You know there's two types of people in
the world, right? There's workers, and

then there's shirkers, and all I see are
two shirkers right here. This is party

decorations, bro. You need to relax.

I do too, bro.

I'm sorry.

You know, helium's a dwindling natural
resource, and this is how you plan to

waste it?

You really, you scared me.

You're not excused. You're not excused.

Seriously. Permission granted for
dismissal.

Tomato juice.

Yeah. Well, yeah, that's... Well, as you
were.

Galloping gremlin. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, it's... Look at us.

Two bitches washing bitches.

This is a male dog, and I don't like
being called a bitch. For the record, I

called us both bitches. It wasn't... I'm
sorry I can't hear you because I'm

trying to work.

Generally, we point the hair dryer at
the dog. Oh, yes, right.

Yeah.

Oh, dog.

Hey. Hey.

How are you two doing?

So good. Peace. Having so much fun. I
love that. It's a huge day today, right?

Huge. It's huge.

Stop talking.

Great.

Frank Shaw Limbaugh service transporting
morons since 9 a .m. Hi, Frank.

I'm not micromanaging you at all. I'm
just making sure that Roman is still

alive. He is alive and kicking, mostly
because his feet can't reach the floor

mat. We decided to take a call. Frank,
that man is our sugar daddy. Do not let

him get mauled. Don't worry. I told him
to stay inside the throttle.

Oh, gotta go.

Don't, no, don't.

Hi. Roman, no, no. Relax, Frank. I built
an empire.

Wait, Gene. It's irrevocable.

Quiet!

See?

And this is why I have a pear orchard
and you're relegated to being my

chauffeur. I actually chose to drive
your fun -sized body around.

Shockingly, it was better than the other
option. I thought you ran this

precinct. Boy, how the mighty... Oh, my
God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Okay, I finished another cluster.

You're doing great. Almost there.

Glad to hear you guys are finally paying
the arts the respect it deserves.

You did this to me. One more push.

It's a blue.

Here, hold him, Daddy. It's a blue.

Congratulations.

Get out.

I'll finish the keystone grouping
myself. Get out.

I'm done.

What's taking you so long? I'm like five
dogs ahead of you. Yeah, you keep

cherry -picking all the left dogs. From
what I've heard, your lap could use a

break. Okay, what the hell is your
problem with me? You want to know what

problem is with you? Why, I... You did
Templeton dirty.

Wait, seriously?

Mm -hmm. Are you referring to when he
stalked me? He's not talking. Yeah, and

then he sent me weird New Zealand gifts.
Those gifts were thoughtful and

background -specific. He is a total
creep. He is layered.

Drip, drip.

You any bet he's doing my calendar idea?

What do you need, I see? This precinct
continues to disappoint. My unit's

trapped in the helium tank, doing wacky
vests. You know what? I'm going to go

get some, because I think they sell some
a long way away from here. Yeah, sure.

Like, I'm going to trust you with the
noble gas. You're probably going to try

huff it out of a sock. The thing is,
your insults aren't landing, because

uniform shirt is tucked into your
underwear and your breast mount.

Why don't you go with her?

I'm going to go back to the arch and
finish doing these units early.

Your bagpiping skills have saved yet
another party. Oh, I know.

That me?

That me? Hey, you okay?

Yep, yep.

Are your pants caught on that hook?

A little bit. A little bit, yeah. I was
organizing the leashes and then I...

Yeah, my belt loop got snagged when I
reached up to get that basket.

Yeah, okay. Well, let me help you down.
No, no, no. I'm fine. That's fine. Okay.

Actually, my toes are going numb. Yeah.
Here, I just... I got to grab.

Here.

I feel like we keep getting hot moments
that are. Yes, I agree.

Of all the days, right? Yeah.

Sorry. So I'm going to get back to
erecting.

Blowing. No. All right.

Yeah, that's good because this is a
place of work. So let's all get back to

work.

I'm a control officer, does it?

Yeah. But this has been really fun.

Ta -da.

Bon appetit.

All right, here we go. Eat the oven,
Nick.

Good job, girl.

We did it!

Whoo! All right, do you want to skip the
embarrassing part where I ask you if

you need help getting down? I got it.

Uh -huh.

and caught my belly in a wiper.

Okay, girl. We're taking the highway.

No, I caught my belly in a wiper.

You want to get something to eat on the
way? Help me.

Help me.

Is there any chance you did that old
man's thing and forgot to record?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I got it.

Oh, flashlight's on. Hold on. People
look up to me, Frank.

If that leaks, thousands of dog owners
will abandon my training message.

Oh, no, no, no. It won't leak.

I'm going to post it intentionally.

Well, it doesn't matter. At least he'll
get a laugh out of it.

Oh, who?

Nobody? Just my dad?

He thinks I'm a freaking joke.

If he wants to confirm that, I can send
him the video. I've always been the

black sheep of the family. All my
brothers are multi -hyphenates, like

professor.

Doctor researcher. Yeah, well, so are
you, virgin leprechaun. I've been

You can't relate to any of this because
dads love trapping dim brutes like you.

Just to be clear, you're still asking me
for a favor. Just go ahead and post it.

Or don't post it. It doesn't matter. I
don't care.

My earliest memory is my father. I had
an in utero recollection. Oh, okay. Stop

it. Stop. I'll delete it. I just got to
watch her one more time. Kill me.

We got a man down here!

We got a man down!

I found him like this.

Whoa, hey, you all right, buddy? You
look greater than usual.

That arch is filled with my life force.

I gotta get it outside.

Otherwise, how will people know where
the entrance is?

Okay, I can't do it.

Oh, boy.

It's all too much, this whole thing.

One minute I'm at the 2 -3 playing ping
-pong with the boys, thinking I'm going

to retire there.

And then I'm reassigned. New place, new
people. I'm just supposed to start over.

I'm almost 40 years old. That's really
tough, man. There's no way we're the

age. I'm just rambling.

My oxygen levels have plummeted. My
vision's blurred. You guys are kind of

backlit right now, like two angels.

Hey, you know we do fun stuff here at
the 2 -2.

Ray, you know, we actually hang out at
the rooftop on Fridays, and, you know,

play cornhole, drink beers. It's super
fun.

Yeah, you can bring your friends. We
could have, like, a tournament.

We'd destroy you, but it'd be fun. I'd
like that.

Good. Yeah.

Okay, tremors just are going away, and
the vision's coming back.

Nice. Let's get her outside.

Horse me.

I can't believe Templeton made you
babysit me. Is he blackmailing you?

can help.

Do you know I got my cousin out of
Scientology using only wigs?

It's not like that.

Last year, I went through a messy
divorce.

It got very contentious. I don't know
your ex, but I side with him.

I didn't say it wasn't him.

Oh, really?

Okay, it wasn't him. And he left me, and
then all of a sudden, I was a single

mom working a full -time job. And
Templeton thought that I was struggling

He wanted the help, so he sent groceries
to the house. Not once, but every week.

Grooming 101.

Most kidnappers are someone you know.
And he never took credit for it. The

deliveries were anonymous, but I know it
was him because he always included my

favorite truck snack, those little bags
of wet olives.

Templeton is a good man.

Wet olives.

That's the saddest part of your story.

Hi, Dr. Templeton's helium.

It's extra in case you want to mess with
his tires. You might want to take it

easy on Templeton. What is happening
today?

I know it's weird, but he was talking to
us, and instead of wanting to fight or

flee, I just wanted to hug him. Oh, did
you do it? No, of course not. But the

fact that Ava wanted to. Yeah, he was
acting like a human. Maybe he's just a

dick and not a total dick.

Okay, everybody, gather up.

I know everyone's really busy. Can we
just gather around?

We are T -5 to the opening, and the
mayor is here.

Good time to bring up the city's
homelessness?

No, not the day, not the place, Frank.

Does anyone have any last words before
we go wow Seattle?

I do.

Where are my boys at?

Okay.

There they are.

If I could combine two people into one
person, the world would say I was

Not for playing God, but for using my
gifts.

to create such extreme uselessness.

Victoria, you were late with my helium,
and you should be ashamed of yourself

for bullying a female officer.

But I am.

Frank, you're probably disappointing me
somehow.

Emily, all of this reflects poorly on
your leadership skills.

Appleton, what just happened, man?

That is where I drew the line. No, you
don't... I am feeling better and better

about choosing Roman.

attempts to integrate this precinct into
a cohesive unit have just they have

failed so thank you for putting me in
the awkward position of being pro

-segregation so here's what we are going
to do put on some fake smiles and

pretend to be one happy work family okay
i said fake smile

and our special guests, and welcome to
the Northwest Seattle Division of Animal

Control's grand opening of the Roman
Park Park.

We did do several workshops of the name,
and that is going to be the name. Our

deepest thanks go out to Roman Park,
whose generosity has allowed us to build

this park. Oh, my God. Thank you so
much, Emily, for that amazing

I wasn't prepared. I haven't prepared
anything.

American humorist Josh Billing said, A
dog is the only thing on Earth that

you. More than he loves himself.

These workers at Animal Control are
incredible.

They honestly don't get the recognition
they deserve.

Which is why I have a surprise for you.

Emily, a tug, please.

So real.

Look at that blob.

Oh, wait, that's me. What the hell?

It looks like your cupping treats
acorns.

Oh, um... Clark, what is wrong with you?
Don't you know you're not supposed to

make fun of fat souls anymore?

Ah, Templeton here did me a solid and
gave me a picture of you from your

days for inspo. How dare you show the
world how I see myself?

Of course your dad hates you. Do you
really think a dad could hate this face?

No, he loves me. We just spent the
weekend together at Seattle Kite Fest.

I read...

Simple beast for a living, Frank.

And I tell you, you reek of daddy
issues. Gotta be the way to recover.

Lost footage.

Flashlights on.

Breathe, balloon bandit.

Wait, if you're really... What are you
doing?

I'm just, you know, excusing. Wait,
wait, wait, wait. Are those the missing

cupcakes? And the solo cups?

That's how our city councilman had to
drink out of a dog bowl this afternoon.

I'm running a little on cash, so...

I decided to borrow some supplies for
Danny's birthday party. Okay, well,

birthday, Danny.

Thank you. But why didn't you just come
to me?

Well, it's embarrassing.

Okay, what about this? We have been
looking to add a community outreach

at the precinct.

Yeah, it'd be an extra five bucks an
hour.

Will you throw in a company car? I will
not, but I could give you a special

lanyard for your ID.

You can give that to Danny for his
birthday. I think he'd like it. Let's

make it six more bucks an hour.

Deal. Okay.

I really appreciate you taking care of
me, boss.

Thank you. Yeah.

Just watch behind me because I can't see
much.

Good night, Emily.

Oh, hey.

Good night, Fred.

Do you want to go?

Yeah.

A nice end to a bad day.

All right, you're home.

Frank, that was so fun.

Oh, my God.

I burned you.

You burned me. We got in a crate.

Till next time, right, man?

I don't ever want to see you again.
Yeah, I know. I'm tired, too. But want

hear a song about it?

No. Yeah, I do too. Okay, right.

Come on. Stick around.

Frank and I had fun today.

Nothing beats the jokes and the games we
played.

Frank and I had fun today.

Season premiere of the Fox comedy Going
Dutch starts now.