All language subtitles for 1 The.Upshaws.S07E06.480p

Well, you look cute. Where you going?
You know you still in lockdown.

I was going to go read on the front
porch, warden. Or am I not allowed any

time? OK, keep it up. I'll give Maya a
honey bun to jump your ass.

Hey, pretty girl.

Oh, good.

You're in a good mood.

You know, Tony found a replacement for
Spencer.

Guy's got a car lot down on Lafayette.
So don't do what you always do.

What do I always do?

Whenever I'm in a good mood, you say
some shit to make me want to kill

everybody.

Which brings me to the kids.

Benny, we've got four children in our
lives, and three of them right now are

screwed up.

Have you even heard from Kelvin? No, I
haven't heard from the cops or the

hospital, so he must be all right.

Why don't you get your little butt
upstairs? I told you not to open that

-ass drink in my car.

I was thirsty.

We were five minutes from home.

Looked like you exploded back there.

Why were you looking at me instead of
driving?

Well, y 'all really nailed it with these
kids.

It ain't my fault y 'all messed up. I'm
barely here.

A little rat shit in your hot dog is
still a little rat shit in your hot dog.

You know what? Let's just pick the kid
that's closer to making it and put all

our love there.

That's what Joe Jackson did.

Maybe he shouldn't be our guiding light.

Girl, count your blessings. He could
have said Marvin Gaye's dad.

Hey, um, I really need some new people
to help me raise these kids.

It's so frustrating, guys. I mean,
Aaliyah is so close to where she should

but she keeps screwing up.

Man, I mean, out at a damn street race?

And you know she was out there twerking.
You seen the video.

Oh, Lord, I don't want to run into my
baby at the strip club.

Yeah, well, that's why I don't want her
out of our sights until she graduates.

College. So, everybody get your
calendars out, and let's figure this

okay? Now, I can't tomorrow, because I'm
meeting with Bishop Hightower to get

his endorsement. Okay, well, you know
what I can't do, because I got somebody

coming over to the shop, so I can't take
her either. Well, way to jump in with

both feet.

Okay, why don't you just jump in with
all four of your feet?

I will as soon as I pull one of them
from out your ass.

All right, all right, all right, all
right.

Guys, we only want the best for Aaliyah,
right?

Okay, so Cree, can you take her?

Oh, I can't. I got a thing.

Baby, just take her to work with you,
okay? And just tie her to a chair.

Ah, there you go.

Like the binding of Isaac.

What? Where did that come from? The
Bible.

Bitch, you mean with the bishop.

Sit there and don't say nothing.

Don't even think loud.

I heard that.

And watch your mouth.

Well, it's not effing fair.

How come y 'all aren't hands off with me
like you are with Kelvin? Because he's

a male.

And at some point, we're going to end up
fist fighting. Now listen to your mama

and tie yourself to the chair.

There you are. Father's been here 20
minutes already.

Patience be on time.

I thought they were black.

Nigga, what?

You finally did something good, Tony.

These used cars, they right on time? He
doesn't like used.

Okay, well, pre -loved.

Pre -owned.

Pre -loved is a whore.

Hey, man, Billy Upshaw, man. How you
doing?

Alfonso Laguerre.

Okay, let my hand go. Damn, man. It's
like you're trying to wear a handshake.

And I did.

Benny? I didn't become the fifth most
successful prionaut in Indiana by

time. Now, your projected monthly was
fair, a little low, which means

you're desperate.

No, I just really need it.

Look, man, I just keep shit simple, all
right? Bring the cars, and I'll fix

them. I don't care for that stereotype.

I run an honest business. I need to know
that you can deliver whenever I... Oh,

just a moment, please.

What do you want, Lori?

I sent a check.

Hell no.

Why do you want the boat? You can't even
swim.

Fine.

Call your lawyer boyfriend.

I know he's screwing the boat of us.

Hello. Hello.

Don't ever get divorced, huh?

I don't even like being married.

So, do we have your business?

Hardly. I still need to, uh, dig in,
speak to some, uh, some references,

and, uh, maybe even bring a...

Should have been enough for her.

It's okay, man.

It's okay.

Now, look, man, look.

When man cheat, it means nothing.

When a woman cheat, she got to go.

I apologize.

Family means everything to me.

Even now, I want nothing more but to
make it work after I kill her.

You know, Benny is all about family,
too. He's got his daughter here at the

today and everything.

Right? Yeah. He ain't lying.

Aaliyah, cut yourself loose.

Why? Don't back talk me.

I love having her here.

Give me a couple of weeks with all of
this, and I'll circle back.

Hey, man, family man to family man, I
don't have a couple of weeks.

You come by my house tonight, and it'll
be family like a mug over there.

I haven't had a family meal in so long.

Do you know sounds good?

Dinner?

I guess we should have paid you.

Oh, it's you.

I'm not home right now.

Is there any way to greet your favorite
nephew?

I'm sorry.

What very fast thing do you need?

Well, I met this really great guy.

And we've been hanging out.

And I think we're at the your place or
mine.

But there ain't no mine.

So I was thinking.

I know you're not asking me to have sex
in my apartment.

No. Gross.

Could I?

How about the model unit?

Come on, auntie. This is the first guy I
like since Hector. Bernard, at least by

the year, not by the hour.

You knew the answer before you drove
your little hot ass over here.

Come on. Uncle Frank's in Atlanta.

Let me send you to a movie.

Uh, why don't you go back to your
business home and find a real place to

Bye.

Why do you want me to leave so bad?

And who are these olives for?

Damn, he's here.

Who's here?

Oh, my auntie is nasty.

I'll keep my mouth closed for an
apartment. How dare you insinuate that I

cheat? I ain't your daddy.

Lucretia Turner, my fine pickle friend,
give me a spin and bring it in.

Well, I might look different in the
front, but I'm the same in the back.

Not me. I have completely lost my butt.
Now it's just a long back.

Well, she's definitely not sleeping with
this dude.

Uh, at least not on purpose.

Hey, hey.

This is my nephew.

And we're still not sure we did that.

We do know neither of us enjoyed it.

Oh, wow. Are you still on a cane?

Yeah, this is permanent, man.

Like, forever permanent?

No, forever. Who is this guy?

Bernard, this is Nathan.

Nathan is a flight attendant I used to
work with. You don't remember me?

I changed your diaper in the galley of a
747 once.

What every adult man wants to hear
about.

And the passengers who have food on
their throat.

Bedard, it's time for you to go. Nathan
is my drunk friend, and you don't mix

your drunk friends with family.

I ain't going anywhere. I want to hear
all the tea.

Then let's make it a Long Island.

Oh, so the owner told her she had to be
a rug act?

This is a stiff one before we used all
that baby oil.

Please stop. What was that move that you
tried to do?

Oh, the Mamba Della Noce.

My legs are a little stiff, but if we
move... Nope, nope, nope.

That's too bad. He's going to miss out
on round two.

We must hold tight to this patch of
earth. We could live wherever, raise

our kids wherever.

We could give our time, our taxes, our
love wherever, but still we chose

Indiana.

Lovely.

Thank you.

I may have learned a thing or two
watching great men such as yourself.

Where do you worship?

We go to Heartland.

Right there with Dr.

Pastor Reverend Caldwell.

I thought Dr.

Reverend Pastor Caldwell retired two
years ago. Sure did.

Sure did.

It's that message. His message, it
sticks to your soul, to your spirit.

Yeah, we, um, now it's, um... Pastor
Price. Price! Price, Price. That's it

there. Pastor Price. And I love me some
Pastor Price.

He has done great things with our
congregation.

She. She.

She.

She is so... You know what? We're so
humble. We sit in the back. So all we

is just church hat.

Look. Look.

You seem like a nice person. But I've
already committed to Spencer's soul.

Brother Spencer's a very good friend of
this congregation.

I didn't know this is where he goes.

Man, you don't even seem to know where
you go.

He's not a member.

But he donated the entire security
system for free.

Yeah, I know what donate means.

He does a lot for the churches in this
city.

He bought the coffee cart out front
while he brewed it.

This expensive?

Oh, I want to throw this away.

Let us help.

Really? Spencer donated your security,
too? Mom. Shh.

Well, even so, I implore you to
consider... You don't see this?

What? Can I have Aaliyah's door?

For what?

I swear to God, if y 'all don't let me
finish this call... Okay, but you're not

gonna like what I did with mine.

So, is this a firm no, Rabbi?

Um, no, Spencer is a mensch.

Yeah, okay. Well, good job, Tiff.

Wait. That damn Spencer's in every house
of worship.

This punk ass probably donated a
church's chicken.

You just thought a rumor that he's on
steroids?

We running for office, not the Kentucky
Derby. And I don't start rumors.

Mine is an honest campaign based on
integrity and losing.

That's a great boss.

Regina, it's almost 6 o 'clock. I don't
smell no oxtails, no curry goat, no

nothing. What the hell's happening at 6
o 'clock?

You're supposed to be making dinner for
Alfonso so I can get his business.

Benny, why didn't you tell me? I would
have been happy to order some of that. I

sent you a text.

You know I'm not looking at that.

Benny, if you want this dude to have go,
you better head down to the pet and do

it with some dry rub.

I have to go and chant with some
Buddhists.

Hey, what's up, bro?

Hey, I thought we were supposed to meet
at the restaurant.

Then why did you text me all this?

Hey, man, don't make this my problem.

Yeah, man.

Let me be real with you.

I messed up.

I married the wrong woman, Jeff.

You and me both, brother.

But, so, really, there's no food?

I sent her a text, but she puts herself
first. That's why I spend all my time

working out here.

So, you spend all day working on cows
just to come home and work on cows?

Yeah, when there's no love in the house,
I got to love something.

I've got a busted Alfa Romeo sitting in
my back lot that nobody can fix.

Maybe you can.

I'll fix that car if you give me that
contract.

I'll give you the contract if you fix
that car.

Oh, hey, man.

I'm high and hungry. But we stay in the
same shit.

But if there ain't no emergency, then
that slide is just a slide.

Fuck the FAA.

That Christmas party was fun as hell.

We could never do that now.

9 -11 really...

Suck the fun out of the job.

We used to duct tape people to the seats
just for shits and giggles.

Yeah, but we still made it do what it
did. Mm -hmm. Ooh, let me top you off.

no, no. You got that forever cane. Let
me get it.

Will you quit fussing over me?

It's just hard seeing you like this.

It's been so long since the fall. I just
sort of thought that you'd be...

Back to you.

I am me.

I'm the same me that can't go back to
Epcot with you.

Or SeaWorld.

If they don't want you in the tank, they
should put a lid on you.

So is this why you stopped calling?

After my fall, it was like we weren't
friends anymore.

Lucretia.

I'm the reason you fell off that jetway.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill
you!

I would never bump you on purpose.

I know that. I was just trying to move
that stubborn wheelchair, the one that

always pulled to the left.

I wanted to tell you, but you were in
traction.

And I was scared.

And then when you sued the airline, I
was worried coming forward would

jeopardize your money.

It probably would have.

Maybe I should thank you.

Um... You're welcome.

My. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Bird. It was an accident.

Accidents have no point to them.

That's what makes them accidents.

You were always too wise for domestic
air travel.

I know.

Besides, that fall, Set me on a whole
new path for my life. Oh.

You took my leg from me!

Who are we burying again?

Nobody. We came here to bury my shame.

Bury my cane?

But how am I going to get home?

No, no.

Bury my shame for what I did to you.

You dragged me out to the woods for
that?

No, this is the golf course.

Golf course?

Yeah.

Then why are we digging?

There's 18 holes out here.

Use one of those.

That is a good point.

Let me go find my candle.

I hate Italian cars.

Hey, you got this, Benny. You're the car
whisperer.

Yeah, but this car don't talk English.

It's me, your mechanic.

What's a book in here?

Look, check it out.

I spent all day on that.

Maybe I don't even need college.

Y 'all still working on this car?

Why are you here?

Because don't nobody know what to do
with me? Ain't it your mama's turn? Do

something that helps me.

Like what?

Get another car and swap out the engine?

They can't touch me.

You figured out what was wrong?

No, but I took all the working shit out
of there and put it in here.

I know I'm just here on work relief, but
how you gonna get the parts back in the

one you rented?

I'll just haul it to the side of the
highway and tell them it broke down.

I guess rental insurance will cover
that. I ain't getting no insurance to

scam. But... If we just tell him, he'll
never learn.

Dang it.

We're gonna need a third car.

Okay, I'm gonna jump in here.

Oh, there he is. A man of every cloth.

How'd you get back here?

Guess your security's a little thug.

Maybe all those churches you belong to
should really rethink who they're

with. I belong to one church.

The rest of them I recently donated
security to because I happen to believe

our houses of worship, regardless of
denomination, are invaluable to our

community.

Amen.

Shalom. As -salamu alaykum.

Look, ma 'am.

I don't have the pockets that you have.
I can't buy my endorsements. No, I have

to earn them based on my ideas.

Oh, that's tough.

Wouldn't you feel better earning yours?

I don't care how I get them.

The voters deserve to hear both of our
platforms without your money blocking

mine. Look, you're a good person.

And that's not only why you will lose.

That's why you have to lose.

You see, good people just talk about
getting stuff done.

Empires are built on cold -blooded
decisions.

You want that new highway?

Well, that neighborhood got to go.

You want that fancy new drug?

Well, some mice got to grow ears on his
back so we can make sure it's safe.

You want a beautiful world, Regina?

You got to get ugly.

Mm -mm.

God don't like ugly.

And you would know that if you actually
went to church, like I do.

Pastor Price is my girl.

Do you think I could pull strings if
there weren't strings to pull on?

Your problem ended with me.

The problem is that you're not willing
to do what it takes to win.

Yeah, well.

Your mama.

Nathan!

You grind one more bean, I'm gonna grind
you.

And not in the fun way.

This isn't coffee. These are pain pills.

I was gonna put them in your juice.

What were you gonna tell me first?

thing on me i don't know you came home
with it all right you gotta go

i don't care where but you gotta get
away from me oh here we go you said that

you forgave me for knocking you off that
jetway what do you mean knock me off

the jetway you knocked me off that
jetway we had a whole conversation about

last night we did yes did i choke you
out Several times.

But I thought we worked through it. I
should have known you only forgave me

because you were drunk.

You know, I can't keep doing this. We're
bad together.

Every story ends with me getting hurt or
not remembering how I got hurt.

I'm married to a lawyer.

I gotta have answers now, Nathan.

For what it's worth,

It hurts me to know that I hurt you
repeatedly.

Bye, Lulu.

Ow! Damn, you got to squeeze so hard.

Maybe it's not the drinking.

Hey, Nathan.

Bye, Bernard.

There she is, the woman who put a roof
over my head.

Keys, please.

You better mean to your heart.

Uh -uh.

You promised me a rent -free apartment
after I fished your drunk ass out of

hole.

What hole?

I believe I'm in 4B, right across the
hall.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I know damn sure
I didn't promise you a top floor

apartment. Oh, yes, you did.

And I quote, nothing's too good for the
man I raised.

Yes.

We must stand as a community to say that
our votes are our voice, and we will

not and cannot be bought.

Oh, look, you've given me a lot to chew
on since you barged on up in here.

The spirit moved me.

Pastor, your endorsement would speak
volumes to the community.

Yeah, that's exactly what Spencer said
after he gave me this little button that

opens and closes the door.

Peace be with you.

Peace be with you.

Did your lap just sneeze?

Allergy.

The whole time, Pastor.

I mean, we've been talking for like ten
minutes. You've been talking. I've been

praying you'd leave.

Oh, I'm leaving.

Now that I got your endorsement, peace
be with you.

And side peace be with you.

Did you get what you needed?

Yeah.

But it was under the table.

actually got this working.

Shit, you think I wouldn't? I had to
rebuild this engine three times.

Your bro -mother was pulling too many
amps, so we put a hard head... He don't

care how we fixed it, all right? Now
let's get the contract going so we can

the rest of your hoopties.

I told you, we don't sell hoopties.

But the job is yours if you want it.

Shit, he better want it. He gotta pay
his employees.

Well, hang on.

There's a wrinkle.

My guy ran the numbers, and it makes no
sense for me to outsource repair work

anymore. Your rates?

All right, but you will need to work in
my spot.

Hey, man, I like the spot I'm working
in. It's got my name all over it and

everything. Don't tell me I fixed this
shit and ruined Tony's credit for

nothing. What?

Tony's credit?

Look, Tony, stop being selfish, okay?

Now,

you, I'm finna bill your ass, all right?
And I'm finna charge you for part.

I'm finna charge you for part.

And labor.

This is my plan with your ass and parts.

Uh -oh.

What about you?

Want to rebuild your credit?

This ain't some ice yam print scam, is
it?

No. I still need a mechanic.

It could be you.

And leave Benny?

I don't know.

I respect loyalty.

But eventually, a man's got to be his
own man who works for me.

So you blackmail a pastor, you out there
digging up a golf course, and you

stealing parts from a car just to put
them in the same car. That's a class E

felony, by the way. Yeah, I looked it
up.

All I did was watch a crime. Y 'all out
here committing them left and right.

Well, you still in trouble, but we
talked it over, and you can have your

back. Oh, we was keeping that? I threw
that out.

Ooh, y 'all lucky I ain't got nothing to
slam right now.

I can't believe Bernard told her about
that golf course.

Allegedly.

She ain't a snitch, is she? Oh, damn,
now we got to watch her ass all over

again. Everybody get your calendars out.

Please!