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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,250 --> 00:00:04,790 Georgia, how about you get off your phone and help clean up? 2 00:00:04,790 --> 00:00:07,630 Probably too busy flipping NFTs on a Blockchain. 3 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,970 I know things. 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:17,470 No, I was reading this five-star review of Mom's coffee shop. 5 00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:19,890 -But I'll stop. -Bup, bup, bup. Go on. 6 00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:23,890 "The best coffee ever. 7 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,100 Love seeing a girlboss in the neighborhood." 8 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:29,480 Ooh, "girlboss"! Haven't heard that about me before. 9 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,070 I've heard, "Do you know this girl, boss?" 10 00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:32,860 After I was caught shoplifting ham. 11 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,950 A whole ham? 12 00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:38,330 We don't have to talk about the ham. 13 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,910 I was just trying to make Christmas special for you guys. 14 00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,580 Mom, you're killing it. 15 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:45,290 You have a 4.9 rating. 16 00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:46,880 That's almost as high as my GPA. 17 00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:49,130 Why isn't it five? 18 00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,000 Mrs. Palmer doesn't like that I pointed out 19 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,920 that she went to Arizona State. 20 00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,550 Oh, you? 21 00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:57,930 Just one bad review. 22 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:01,310 What? 23 00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:05,350 I don't give bad reviews. I say stuff in person. 24 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:09,150 For instance, as a daughter, you're kind of annoying. 25 00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,400 But overall, I would recommend. 26 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,400 Aw. 27 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,150 So, uh, what does it say? 28 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:16,740 Who cares? 29 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:19,370 It's just some loser at home behind a screen with no friends. 30 00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:23,620 Sometimes he makes it too easy. 31 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,540 Carter, what are you doing tonight? 32 00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:29,460 Six-seven. 33 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,920 I guess it's my fault 'cause I asked, huh? 34 00:01:37,590 --> 00:01:38,720 Georgia, we should get going. 35 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,430 You sure you don't want to go to the movies, Dad? 36 00:01:40,430 --> 00:01:42,140 If I wanted sticky floors and garbage everywhere, 37 00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:43,770 I'd just go to Carter's room. 38 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,690 Come on. You haven't gone out since Eve left. 39 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:48,980 Hang out with a friend. 40 00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:51,110 I recently read a study about male friendship. 41 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:54,110 -You read a study? -Okay. I saw a meme. 42 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,110 Hey, Pops. I'm going to play mini-golf 43 00:01:57,110 --> 00:01:58,910 with the Bro DiMaggios. You want in? 44 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,950 Heh-heh. Six-seven. 45 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:18,800 This jerk, AJ89, gave Klatch one star. 46 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,720 Even the DMV's got one and a half. 47 00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,930 So, what did this AJ89 say? 48 00:02:23,930 --> 00:02:26,100 "Not sure what's worse, 49 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:29,520 the coffee or the fake smile plastered on the owner's face." 50 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:30,600 But-- uh! 51 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,560 My smile's not fake. 52 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,190 It's forced, but it means it when it gets there. 53 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,490 Oh. Hi, welcome to Klatch Cafe. 54 00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:41,410 Hi. I'll take a triple espresso. 55 00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:43,330 Or, as I call it, a panic attack in a cup. 56 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,080 Okay. 57 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,290 Well, today we're doing a fun promotion 58 00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:50,170 where you write your Yelp username on a napkin, 59 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,000 and in exchange you get... the napkin. 60 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,170 Never seen you here before. 61 00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:58,090 Yeah, I just moved back recently. 62 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,090 Nice to see all the new businesses, 63 00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:02,220 especially the ones that sell drugs. 64 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,810 Haven't done that since high school. 65 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:08,520 Or as we called it, Valley Village Extremely High. 66 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,770 Valley Village. Go big V. 67 00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:14,060 Ah! Go big V! 68 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,440 Suck it, Burbank High 69 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,230 and your low teen-pregnancy rate. 70 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,570 -I'm Pete Holterman. -Riley Parker. 71 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,910 Parker? Hm. Shot in the dark. 72 00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:25,910 Any relation to Matt Parker? 73 00:03:25,910 --> 00:03:28,620 Of Parker Customs and Restorations? 74 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,210 Oh, God. Are you serving me papers? 75 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:37,300 Also, he was probably allowed to say it when he said it. 76 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,380 Hey, Dad. 77 00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:43,760 -Not now, please. -Look who I found. 78 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,970 Mad Dog Matt Parker. 79 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:48,470 Pistol Pete Holterman, buddy! 80 00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:49,850 -Hey. -Hey. 81 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:52,140 -How are you? Man. -Ah. 82 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,270 The first freshman ever got on the varsity team 83 00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:56,690 and celebrated by flushing his own head in the toilet. 84 00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:57,940 - I did. - Yeah, yeah. 85 00:03:57,940 --> 00:03:59,480 I haven't seen this guy 86 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,950 since he won Most Improved Player at the fall banquet. 87 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,990 I believe you gave credit to Coach Jenkins, 88 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,490 your teammates, and Ronald Reagan. 89 00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:08,290 Yeah, I thought my life had peaked then, 90 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,080 but turns out America had peaked then. 91 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,710 -Ah. -You met my daughter, Riley, 92 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,170 who works right outside the door here 93 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,830 and lives inches from me with no rent. 94 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:17,920 Of course. Fellow Valley Village grad. 95 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,210 That's right, that's right. 96 00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:22,840 Well, technically, I graduated from NeverTooLateGED.com. 97 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,140 I'll let you two catch up. 98 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,510 Okay, good. Uh-- Sit down, sit down. Sit. 99 00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:29,010 Oh, well, maybe just for a sec. 100 00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:31,640 -Oh, it sure is good to see you. -Good to see you, too. 101 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,520 So, what have you been up to since we both had mullets? 102 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,110 Whose idea was it to put bangs on our neck? 103 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,400 Well, wow. Um, well, I took this, uh, machine shop over from my dad. 104 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,450 Turned it into a custom car shop. 105 00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:47,620 Sadly, a recent widower. 106 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,410 -Oh. I'm sorry. -Yeah. My best work is out there. 107 00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:52,950 -Yeah. Riley seems awesome. -No. The cars. 108 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,160 I was talking about the cars. 109 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,790 Listen, last I heard, uh, 110 00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:00,460 you'd moved back east to go to college, right? 111 00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,170 Yeah. Yeah, I was in sales for a while. 112 00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:03,670 -Then I moved to France. -Ooh. 113 00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:06,510 Got really into art, smoking, and being rude to tourists. 114 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,140 Wow, this was going so well, 115 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:11,100 then you mentioned the F word. 116 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,100 You got a family? You got kids or anything? 117 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,100 No kids, but I married... 118 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,650 my husband, Damien, about 15 years ago. 119 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,110 Wow. So the old balls and chain. 120 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,700 That, I was not expecting. 121 00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:34,160 Honestly, I really appreciate 122 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,330 that you didn't make a big deal out of it. 123 00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:38,380 Well, why would I? That's who you are, right? 124 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,880 It's not like I didn't know in high school. 125 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,500 Everybody knew, man. 126 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,420 You dressed like Boy George a lot. 127 00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,880 -Well-- Yeah. -Halloween. 128 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,720 Thanksgiving. Choir practice. 129 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,010 Okay. 130 00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,140 Look, I think part of the reason 131 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,640 that I was keeping such a low profile 132 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,020 is I didn't know how the guys on the team would react. 133 00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:00,270 Understandable, wasn't the most empathetic of times. 134 00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:02,770 If the coach had seen you fall down from dehydration, 135 00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:03,860 he would have said, 136 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,030 "What, do you want to sit under a parasol?" 137 00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:08,860 Yeah. And if we needed water, he'd say, "What are you, gay?" 138 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,330 Maybe that's what turned me. 139 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:19,080 Hey, this has been nice. I'm sorry to cut it short. 140 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,380 I got to get going, though. 141 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,630 Oh, it is so good to see you. It really is. 142 00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:24,340 Listen, why don't we get a drink sometime? 143 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,970 Oh, thanks, Matt, but I quit drinking. 144 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,340 That's another story. Also involves a parasol. 145 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,010 Doesn't matter. Thanks. 146 00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:34,350 -You bet. -Ah, heck. 147 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:37,060 You know what? My husband owns an art gallery. 148 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,480 He's got an opening tomorrow. Why don't you bring Riley? 149 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,980 Perfect. That'd be great. 150 00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:43,480 Is it real art or just people taping bananas to a wall? 151 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:47,490 No, that's a different party. You're not invited to that. 152 00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:00,710 What's with the music? Is this Klatch after dark? 153 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:03,670 I'm amping up the vibes, and there's a lot more to come. 154 00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:06,420 I'm looking into mimes. 155 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:09,220 Well, I think the music slaps, Mom. 156 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,130 And the smoke machine is a nice touch. 157 00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,970 What? I don't have a smoke machine. 158 00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:16,100 Or fire insurance! 159 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:20,060 She's never gonna let those bad reviews go. 160 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,060 You know what we could do? 161 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,770 Drive to Tijuana and get veneers? 162 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,360 What? I thought there were no bad ideas. 163 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:31,780 Clearly, there are. 164 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,370 We can write a bunch of fake good reviews 165 00:07:35,370 --> 00:07:38,620 to bury the bad ones. It's called review farming. 166 00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,250 It's like when they hire some hot girls 167 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,210 to stand outside the club. 168 00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,000 Then when you get inside, 169 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,750 ain't nothing but dudes and fours. 170 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,220 Alright, how's this for a review? 171 00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:55,350 "I love Klatch Cafe. 172 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:58,180 "Fun fact. You know who drinks decaf? 173 00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,470 De-cows." 174 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,900 And send. 175 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:08,190 -How many have you done? -Including this one? One. 176 00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:11,530 But don't worry, I have a good one coming up 177 00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:13,240 where I rhyme latte with hottie. 178 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,330 "No. Ask Carter to help. 179 00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,200 He's your brother. It'll be good." 180 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,670 Whoa! You guys look great. Party or night court? 181 00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,800 We were invited to an art gallery. 182 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,460 Your grandfather has a gay friend. 183 00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:32,050 You don't need to qualify that. 184 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:34,930 I don't introduce you as my divorced, broke daughter. 185 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,300 True. You leave the daughter part out. 186 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,970 That's very open-minded of you, Pops. 187 00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:42,730 Is your friend gay or queer? 188 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,690 You can't say that word. 189 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:48,520 Oh, is your "associate" gay or queer? 190 00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:53,820 These days, a lot of LGBTQ people prefer the word queer. 191 00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,200 Okay. The only time the letter "Q" should be used 192 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,740 is when it's preceded by "BB." 193 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,410 The real Q is, 194 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,870 how does Grandpa have a friend? 195 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,000 You know, for your information, I have a lot of friends. 196 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,250 I just don't like any of 'em. 197 00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:13,630 Oh, wow. This looks great. 198 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:15,340 What a hip crowd. 199 00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,680 So many fun hats and glasses. 200 00:09:19,430 --> 00:09:21,970 So, this is where they all go between protests? 201 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:24,770 Dad, let's not make assumptions. 202 00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:26,190 How about this? 203 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,940 If you get an impulse to say something rude, 204 00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:30,150 just say, "Hmm, food for thought." 205 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:33,570 -Mad Dog! Oh, oh. -Hey. Oh. 206 00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:36,070 Come here, come here. I'm so glad you guys made it. 207 00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:38,070 -Matt, Riley. -Ah. 208 00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:39,370 This is my husband, Damien. 209 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,830 Damien, Matt Parker, good to meet you. 210 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,330 Nice to meet you. And I thought I married out of my league. 211 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,750 Oh! 212 00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,330 Riley is his daughter. 213 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:48,460 Oh. 214 00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:50,920 A dependent that I can't take off my taxes. 215 00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:53,590 The gift that keeps on taking. That's what I call her. 216 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,300 I'll set you up with our CPA. 217 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,550 We write off our kids as employees of the business. 218 00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,430 We have no kids. 219 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,020 Which is why we have a boat. 220 00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:08,770 Pete tells me you work on cars? 221 00:10:08,770 --> 00:10:11,310 Well, yeah, like Botticelli "works on" canvas. 222 00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,270 Matt is a designer. 223 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,150 His shop resto-mods custom vehicles. 224 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,490 I told you this. 225 00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:20,490 Ah. Uh-oh. I'm in trouble. 226 00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:23,580 Well, you're both in the arts. 227 00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,540 You curate these amazing exhibits, 228 00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:28,960 and my dad's design sketches are works of art themselves. 229 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,380 I'm sure they are. 230 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,000 Maybe we'll have to do an exhibit of his car sketches. 231 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,920 No one else is laughing. Sorry. 232 00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,720 I thought you were joking. 233 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,560 Damien can be a bit of an art snob. 234 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,970 Mm. 235 00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:48,350 He called Michelangelo's David an "Equinox six." 236 00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:49,350 Yeah, well-- 237 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,730 No, I understand that. I'm more of a car snob myself. 238 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,780 An AMC Gremlin is actually scarier than the movie. 239 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,780 Everyone's an artist these days. It's all Subway's fault. 240 00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:05,580 But I suppose if those minimum wagers 241 00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:07,500 can call themselves sandwich artists, 242 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:12,040 you and the guys at Jiffy Lube can call yourselves car artists. 243 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,210 Oh. 244 00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:16,550 Food for thought. 245 00:11:18,550 --> 00:11:21,890 Okay. How many reviews have you done for my mom? 246 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,390 I did ten. Carter's done two. 247 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,350 We're still very proud. 248 00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:30,480 I started last night with, uh, 249 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,940 "The coffee at Klatch Cafe is incredible," 250 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:34,520 but it sounded so impersonal. 251 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,030 So I went online to look up synonyms for "incredible." 252 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:40,150 Four hours later, I'm on eBay buying 253 00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:42,410 Pop Rocks from a Norwegian kid named Bjorn. 254 00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:45,580 Stitch? 255 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,490 -I ain't do none. -None? 256 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,250 But wait a minute. 257 00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,120 I got a good back story for my reviewer. 258 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,170 Her name is Renee. She's a divorcee from Temecula. 259 00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:57,750 She took to pumpkin spice 260 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,130 to ease the sting of her cheating husband, Stan. 261 00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:03,930 Mad respect to the character work, though. 262 00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:08,810 Well, can Renee type, "Great coffee," 263 00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:10,560 click five stars and submit? 264 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,390 We need reviews! 265 00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:14,600 Wait a minute. You gotta give Renee a break. 266 00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:17,110 Stan left her for her sister. 267 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,110 Her older sister! 268 00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:24,530 I should have paid for Russian bots. 269 00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:33,330 Nothing to do with anything. 270 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,670 You two are having fun. 271 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:35,960 I'm sorry. 272 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,170 We'll be good. 273 00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:39,500 You're kind of pulling focus. 274 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,670 Come on now. Don't get jealous. 275 00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:44,010 Although, thanks to football, 276 00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:46,390 I did shower with Matt before I showered with you. 277 00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:52,100 Okay, so what do we think this artist is trying to say 278 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:57,310 with this painting about these post-apocalyptic female figures, hmm? 279 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,190 If you turn it upside down, does the dress come off? 280 00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,570 'Cause I had a pen like that once. 281 00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:02,530 Dog! 282 00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:09,830 Matt, uh, clearly you have some thoughts. 283 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,120 Do you want to share? 284 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,870 Matt here considers himself an artist. 285 00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:16,120 Some draw inspiration from the greats 286 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,210 like, um, Henri Matisse. 287 00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,710 Matt doodles cars. 288 00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:24,630 Well, I get my inspiration from "Henri" Ford. 289 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,430 And, uh... it's good. 290 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:34,560 Okay, so no thoughts on the distortion of perspective 291 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,770 to comment on the treatment of women in a patriarchal society? 292 00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:40,150 I'm surprised that an artist like yourself 293 00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:41,770 doesn't have a take on that. 294 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:47,280 -Well, it's uh, food for thought. -Mm. Follow me. 295 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,240 I'm sorry. I love him, 296 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,250 but sometimes Damien can be a little... extra 297 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,120 when he's holding court. 298 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,460 And at Gelson's. 299 00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:01,250 And at Barry's Bootcamp. They moved him to the back row. 300 00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:03,670 That's okay. 301 00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:07,550 What are you doing? 302 00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:09,590 I'm doing exactly what you asked me to do. 303 00:14:09,590 --> 00:14:11,220 I know, since when do you listen? 304 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,890 I didn't want you to be a jerk. 305 00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:16,930 But if someone else is being a jerk, you know, 306 00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:18,560 unleash the jerk. 307 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,440 It's not my place to say something in his gallery here. 308 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,770 Hang on. 309 00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:24,690 Are you not calling him out because he's gay? 310 00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:27,200 No. Pete's my friend, right? 311 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,740 And I don't want to make a scene in here. 312 00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:31,160 Sometimes, honey, you got to turn the other cheek. 313 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,780 Yes, I heard that. 314 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,040 Are you sure? Because treating him differently 315 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,120 than you would a straight person 316 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,870 is a different kind of prejudice. 317 00:14:38,870 --> 00:14:41,130 If I don't call him out, I'm a bad guy. 318 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,130 If I do call him out, I'm a bad guy. 319 00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:45,210 This is why I don't go out. 320 00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:49,260 Let's just please do the Irish goodbye. 321 00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,180 And don't tell anybody I said it that way. 322 00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:58,770 Whoa! Are you making a French exit? 323 00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:02,400 Oh, no. We were trying to do the Irish goodbye. 324 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,940 The French exit would be a surrender, wouldn't it? 325 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,610 -Thanks for tonight. -Yeah, thanks. 326 00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:09,070 And, uh, Damien, 327 00:15:09,070 --> 00:15:12,240 I did get tipsy and bid on the lady skeleton painting. 328 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,700 If I win, there is no possible way I can pay for it. 329 00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:19,410 Thank you for stopping by. And I know that fine art 330 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,460 is not the forte of someone who owns a body shop. 331 00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,500 -RuPaul. -What? Ugh. 332 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,880 Oh, that's our safe word in case he's getting too mean. 333 00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:35,850 You know, Damien, um, if you'll remember, 334 00:15:35,850 --> 00:15:37,640 I'm a custom car designer. 335 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,560 I design, I implement, I manufacture, 336 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,230 I make dreams come true. 337 00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:42,730 The best I can see in here 338 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:45,150 what you do is hang other people's paintings. 339 00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:49,610 Oh. Perfect. Just in time for the show. 340 00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:53,530 Yes, I will take one, too. 341 00:15:53,530 --> 00:15:54,870 I wish I could. 342 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,240 I've never needed one more. 343 00:15:57,740 --> 00:15:59,620 Matt, continue. 344 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:02,420 I'm a member of the Broad Museum downtown. 345 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,290 I'm also aware of Basquiat's exhibition down there, 346 00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,090 which reminds me of some of the work here, 347 00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:09,210 because these people are copying it 348 00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:12,090 and making bad knockoffs of his art. 349 00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:16,850 Oh no. Pete's old football buddy gives the exhibit a frowny face. 350 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,770 I don't like being defined by a stereotype. Nobody does. 351 00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:22,600 And just because people have a skill set 352 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,060 that you may not understand, 353 00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,520 it does not mean that they're not artists. 354 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,650 Pete, it was good to see you. I wouldn't feed him after 12. 355 00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,240 I think he is a gremlin. 356 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,820 And I'm keeping this flute. Oh, that's right. 357 00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:38,410 I called it a flute! 358 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:45,210 Oh, hey. How was the art show? 359 00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:46,580 It was interesting. 360 00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:48,130 The good news is your grandfather 361 00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:49,880 wasn't the most offensive person there. 362 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,420 Oh, no. Mom, what accent did you do? 363 00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:58,010 Did you notice Klatch is at a five-star rating? 364 00:16:58,010 --> 00:16:59,140 A lot of great new reviews. 365 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,890 Yeah, from complete strangers. 366 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:05,140 Like that one from Yaboi09. 367 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,360 Yeah, well, AJ89 posted a new one, too. 368 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,480 "I like how the owner has a tip jar. 369 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,280 Here's a tip, do your job." 370 00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:16,200 What's your beef with AJ89? Kind of makes sense. 371 00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:18,570 You can't keep obsessing. 372 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,330 The best way to win over AJ89 373 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,160 is to give them something for free. 374 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,960 Uh, I don't negotiate with terrorists. 375 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,460 Then why did Georgia get a raise on her allowance? 376 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:34,050 Morning, Andy. You want your usual? 377 00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:36,630 Yeah, and I got your email about a free cake pop. 378 00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:38,760 Now, as a rule, I try to avoid foods on a stick. 379 00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:42,010 As another rule, I do not turn down free cake. 380 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:45,640 Oh my God, you're AJ89?! 381 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,060 How do you like this "vibe"? 382 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,320 Well, I'll be honest, I do not. 383 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,780 Why did you write all those reviews 384 00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:57,360 about how terrible this place is? 385 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,700 Oh, I don't write reviews. I'm a lawyer. 386 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,080 I put nothing in writing. 387 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,500 Okay, so you didn't write this? 388 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,500 "The vibes at Klatch Cafe are super cringe. 389 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,870 One star." 390 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:12,090 Mm-hmm. Case closed. You just got Matlocked. 391 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,680 "Cringe." Oh, my God, that's gotta be Penny. 392 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:21,010 -Who's Penny? -My teenage daughter. 393 00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,180 Cringe is her favorite word. 394 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,850 It was delulu, which is now apparently cringe. 395 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,810 She hates that we stop here every day on the way to school. 396 00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:32,690 Oh, God, I'm so sorry for smashing your cake pop. 397 00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:34,230 And for putting a laxative 398 00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:36,240 in the cake pop I was going to give you. 399 00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:41,070 No, no, I am sorry. I will take those reviews down right now. 400 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,660 Ugh, thank you. 401 00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:44,450 So why do you stop here every day? 402 00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,790 Well, my daughter says 403 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,960 it's because I have a crush on the cute barista. 404 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,170 She said that? 405 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,590 I added the cute. 406 00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:58,470 My God, you're so cringe. And so right. 407 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,390 And also sweet and charming. 408 00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,560 And maybe somebody you'd go to dinner with? 409 00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:08,890 Oh, um, I guess that kind of depends on-- Yes. 410 00:19:11,230 --> 00:19:13,230 Well, that's great... for me. 411 00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:15,320 My daughter is going to be pissed. 412 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,610 Maybe don't read your reviews for a couple of days, huh? 413 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,030 Oh, Andy, um, before you go, 414 00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:22,910 let me give you a good cake pop. 415 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,580 Wait, are the pink ones the safe ones or the blue ones? 416 00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:28,700 Everyone, cake pops down! 417 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,840 Ooh! Alright. Alright, Stitch. 418 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,210 We're gonna get the leather finished on the steering wheel. 419 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,800 And, Gabe, we got to get this engine right. 420 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,420 -Hey! Mad Dog. -Oh, God. 421 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,430 Hey, just hit me with that wrench. Go ahead. 422 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:46,140 -What? No! -Give it to me. I'll do it. 423 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,390 Hey, Pete. Good to see you. 424 00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:52,270 Looks like you brought the aptly named Damien. 425 00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:56,190 Yeah. You know, no one has ever called me out 426 00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,110 the way you did in my own gallery. 427 00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:00,400 It's punk. I love it. 428 00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:03,780 Well, I'll be happy to do it here in my gallery. 429 00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:07,330 That is why my way too patient and loving husband 430 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,080 insisted we come down so that I could tell you 431 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,540 to your face that, uh, what you said was refreshing. 432 00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,790 The only other thing I've ever heard him call refreshing 433 00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:17,840 is when there's a no children policy at a restaurant. 434 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,880 -Mm. 435 00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:24,010 -Is that actually a thing? -Oh, Cocino in Beverly Hills. 436 00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:25,510 Really? What kind of food do they have? 437 00:20:25,510 --> 00:20:27,140 Never mind. I'm in. I like it. 438 00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,890 I like you, Matt. Most people at my exhibits 439 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:34,440 are sheep who just nod along to whatever I say 440 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,270 because I'm the gallerist. 441 00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,110 And because you throw a tantrum when they don't. 442 00:20:38,110 --> 00:20:39,020 Oh, right. 443 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:44,450 By the way, oh, this is amazing. 444 00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:47,070 I mean, I haven't seen lines this beautiful 445 00:20:47,070 --> 00:20:49,870 since Pam Anderson stopped wearing makeup. 446 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,420 Well, I always think creativity comes from God. 447 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,170 I can only take a little bit of the credit. 448 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,290 Well, it's pretty spectacular. 449 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,340 I mean, it's like classical influence, 450 00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,840 you know, with a touch of danger. 451 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,340 Like, um, oh, Ed Hopper 452 00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:04,880 -meets Dennis Hopper. -Dennis Hopper. 453 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,840 -There you go, yeah. -Yeah. 454 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,550 You know what they say. Good artists copy, 455 00:21:08,550 --> 00:21:11,060 great artists steal, with a little bit of help. 456 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,890 Oh, can I just wave from here? 457 00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:19,190 Does he like me? 458 00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,440 Nah, he's looking at all this chocolate. 34578

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