Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,794
[ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
Nathan: ♪ LOCKED IN,
2
00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:12,794
TARGETED, TRICKED ME
INTO YOUR SUBMISSION ♪
3
00:00:12,877 --> 00:00:14,377
♪ FLIPPED THE TABLES, TURNED IT
OVER, CHANGED IT INTO
4
00:00:14,460 --> 00:00:16,002
MY REMISSION ♪
♪ USED MY BRAIN AGAINST
ITSELF,
5
00:00:16,085 --> 00:00:18,377
EAT ITSELF AWAY ♪
♪ BIOLOGIC TICKING TIME BOMB,
6
00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:20,710
BIRTH MY OWN DISGRACE ♪
♪ I'D RATHER DIE, BE THE LAST
7
00:00:20,794 --> 00:00:22,585
OF MY KIND ♪
♪ I'VE GOT TO PULL OUT,
8
00:00:22,669 --> 00:00:25,543
I'M SAVING MY LIFE ♪
♪ YOU BUILT A BOMB MADE OF
FLESH
9
00:00:25,627 --> 00:00:27,002
AND PISS ♪
♪ DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT,
10
00:00:27,085 --> 00:00:30,669
THERE'LL BE BLOOD ON YOUR LIST
♪
♪ YOU'RE ENGAGED IN
11
00:00:30,752 --> 00:00:35,669
BIOLOGICAL WARFARE ♪
DOMO, TOKYO!
12
00:00:35,752 --> 00:00:37,126
Toki: I LOVES YOU, TOKYO!
13
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:40,043
I LOVES EACH AND EVERY ONES OF
YO--
14
00:00:40,126 --> 00:00:44,335
[ AUDIENCE GASPS ]
Toki: WHERE'S AMS I?
15
00:00:44,418 --> 00:00:45,168
AMS I BEENS KIDNAPPEDS?
I'M WORTHS LOTS OF MONIES!
16
00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:47,543
I'LL GIVES YOUS WHATEVER YOU
WANTS!
17
00:00:47,627 --> 00:00:48,585
PLEASE DON'Ts KILLS ME!
18
00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:50,168
I DOs ANYTHINGS!
19
00:00:50,252 --> 00:00:51,585
NOBODY CAN HELP YOU.
20
00:00:51,669 --> 00:00:52,627
Toki: OH, GODS, NO!
21
00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:53,627
WHYS ME?
22
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:55,710
WHY DON'T YOU KILLS DETHKLOKS
INSTEADS?
23
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:56,835
I'LL LEADS YOU TO THEMS!
24
00:00:56,919 --> 00:00:57,794
THEY'RE RICH!
25
00:00:57,877 --> 00:00:59,460
I HARDLYS HAS ANY PUBLISHINGS,
ANYWAYS!
26
00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:01,961
OH, WHY DOES TOKIS ALWAYS GETS
THE BADS LUCK?
27
00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:04,543
I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY
BEFORE I KILL YOU.
28
00:01:04,627 --> 00:01:07,043
[ GUN COCKS ]
Toki: W-WHATS?
29
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,460
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
30
00:01:08,543 --> 00:01:10,168
All: SURPRISE!
31
00:01:10,252 --> 00:01:11,919
Pickles: SURPRISE!
32
00:01:12,002 --> 00:01:13,085
Toki: OH, WOWEE!
33
00:01:13,168 --> 00:01:15,210
Nathan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
MOTHERFUCKER
34
00:01:15,293 --> 00:01:15,835
Toki: HEH.
OH, YOUS.
35
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,168
Pickles: WE TRICKED YOU!
36
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,543
Toki: OH, YOUS TRICKED ME.
37
00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:20,710
Pickles: WE TRICKED YOU!
38
00:01:20,794 --> 00:01:23,210
Murderface: OH, THE LOOK ON
YOUR FUCKING FACE!
39
00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:25,335
Nathan: YEAH. [ LAUGHS ]
Toki: I THOUGHTS I WAS GONNA
40
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,210
BE MURDEREDS.
41
00:01:26,293 --> 00:01:27,627
Skwisgaar: THAT'S THE IDEAS.
42
00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:28,377
YOU KNOW?
43
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,794
SERIOUSLYS, THOUGH, TOKIS.
44
00:01:29,877 --> 00:01:31,126
HAPPYS BIRTHDAY, HUH?
45
00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:33,710
Toki: I REALLY, REALLY,
THOUGHTS I WAS GONNA DIE.
46
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,377
Pickles: WELP, GO GET CLEANED
UP.
47
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,002
WE GOT TONS OF FUN PLANNED
TONIGHT.
48
00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:39,710
AND, DUDE, THERE'S ABOUT A
HUNDRED SLUTS OUT THERE THAT
49
00:01:39,794 --> 00:01:41,877
CAME OVER TO FUCK YOUR BRAINS
OUT.
50
00:01:41,961 --> 00:01:44,377
[ GIGGLES ]
Toki: OH, WONDERSFULS.
51
00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:45,460
JUST WHAT I NEEDS.
52
00:01:45,543 --> 00:01:46,710
MORE SLUTS.
53
00:01:46,794 --> 00:01:49,043
♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK
♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK
54
00:01:49,126 --> 00:01:51,543
♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK
♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK
55
00:01:51,627 --> 00:01:54,835
♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK
♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!
DETHKLOK!
56
00:01:54,919 --> 00:01:58,126
DETHKLOK! ♪
♪ I'M...TICKING...
57
00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:01,877
FOR...THE... ♪
♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK
58
00:02:01,961 --> 00:02:04,543
♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF,
TALLER THAN A TREE ♪
59
00:02:04,627 --> 00:02:06,919
♪ TOKI WARTOOTH,
NOT A BUMBLEBEE ♪
60
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,794
♪ WILLIAM MURDERFACE
MURDERFACE MURDERFACE ♪
61
00:02:09,877 --> 00:02:12,460
♪ PICKLES THE DRUMMER
DOODILY DOO DING DONG DOODILY
♪
62
00:02:12,543 --> 00:02:14,377
♪ NATHAN EXPLOSION
TOKI WARTOOTH --
63
00:02:20,794 --> 00:02:24,126
MULTIMILLIONAIRE, NO WEDDING
RING, NO GIRLFRIEND, LONG,
64
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:28,168
FLOWING HAIR -- ONE OF THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL PRE-OP TRANNIES I'VE
65
00:02:28,252 --> 00:02:29,293
EVER SEEN.
66
00:02:29,377 --> 00:02:31,168
[ LAUGHTER ]
Pickles: OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T!
67
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,585
GET ANOTHER DRINK IN ME, I
MIGHT TAKE A CRACK AT YOU
68
00:02:33,669 --> 00:02:34,752
MYSELF.
69
00:02:34,835 --> 00:02:37,210
[ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE -- THE
70
00:02:37,293 --> 00:02:38,627
REST OF DETHKLOK JUST HANGING
OUT.
71
00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:39,293
WHAT A TREAT.
72
00:02:39,377 --> 00:02:40,585
PICKLES THE DRUMMER.
73
00:02:40,669 --> 00:02:42,168
YOU KNOW, HE'S SO HIGH RIGHT
NOW, HE THINKS HE'S WATCHING
74
00:02:42,252 --> 00:02:43,252
THIS ON YouTube.
75
00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:45,627
[ LAUGHTER ]
Pickles: I ACTUALLY DO!
76
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:46,919
AND WILLIAM MURDERFACE.
77
00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,460
WHAT'S IT LIKE SPENDING ALL
DAY HANGING OUT WITH ACTUAL
78
00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:50,543
MUSICIANS?
79
00:02:50,627 --> 00:02:53,585
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL THOSE YEARS AND NOTHING'S
80
00:02:53,669 --> 00:02:54,418
RUBBED OFF?
81
00:02:54,502 --> 00:02:55,794
Nathan: YEAH!
82
00:02:55,877 --> 00:02:58,752
SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, WHAT DO YOU
THROW A DROWNING BASS PLAYER?
83
00:02:58,835 --> 00:02:59,877
HIS AMP.
84
00:02:59,961 --> 00:03:03,002
[ LAUGHTER ]
SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF -- WE GOT
HIM
85
00:03:03,085 --> 00:03:04,585
RIGHT HERE.
86
00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:06,961
YOU FUCK MORE WOMEN THAN
BREAST CANCER.
87
00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:08,627
Pickles: YEAH!
88
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,126
I'M KIDDING, OF COURSE.
89
00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:12,043
BUT BACK TO MURDERFACE.
90
00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:15,835
AFTER SELLING KRILLIONS OF
RECORDS, IT'S REFRESHING TO SEE
91
00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,377
THAT WOMEN STILL WON'T FUCK
YOU.
92
00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:22,002
[ LAUGHTER ]
SKANKY CRACK WHORES WHO NEED
THE
93
00:03:22,085 --> 00:03:24,627
MONEY, THEY'RE LIKE, "NO,
THANKS."
94
00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,669
Murderface: THAT'S NOT TRUE.
95
00:03:26,752 --> 00:03:27,794
HOW ABOUT YOU OVER THERE?
96
00:03:27,877 --> 00:03:30,002
WE'VE GOT TONTO IN THE BUILDING.
97
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,919
[ APPLAUSE ]
WHY CAN'T YOU USE YOUR MAGICAL
98
00:03:33,002 --> 00:03:36,210
INDIAN TRACKING SKILLS TO FIND
SOME SOAP AND WATER?
99
00:03:36,293 --> 00:03:39,335
[ LAUGHTER ]
I CAN'T TELL IF YOU HAVEN'T
100
00:03:39,418 --> 00:03:42,418
SHOWERED OR IF SOMEBODY'S
OPENING UP A FACTORY WHERE THEY
101
00:03:42,502 --> 00:03:45,168
PRODUCE THINGS THAT SMELL LIKE
SHIT.
102
00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:48,168
[ AUDIENCE GASPS ]
Nathan: GIVE HIM A ROUND OF
103
00:03:48,252 --> 00:03:48,669
APPLAUSE.
104
00:03:48,752 --> 00:03:50,002
HE'S GOOD.
105
00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:51,085
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Pickles: DUDE, TOKI, THERE
106
00:03:54,877 --> 00:03:55,794
YOU ARE.
107
00:03:55,877 --> 00:03:57,043
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR
YOU.
108
00:03:57,126 --> 00:03:58,210
HI.
109
00:03:58,293 --> 00:04:00,794
Toki: OH, TAKES THEM AWAY,
PLEASE, PICKLE.
110
00:04:00,877 --> 00:04:01,877
PLEASE?
111
00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:04,710
Pickles: YOU HEARD HIM,
GIRLS.
112
00:04:04,794 --> 00:04:06,335
HEY, WHY'D YOU DO THAT?
113
00:04:06,418 --> 00:04:08,002
THEY WERE ALL GONNA FUCK YOUR
BRAINS OUT.
114
00:04:08,085 --> 00:04:10,168
Toki: I DON'Ts WANTS NO MORE
HOT SLUTS.
115
00:04:10,252 --> 00:04:11,293
DON'Ts YOU GETS IT?
116
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,669
THEY ONLY WANTS US BECAUSE WE
AMS FAMOUS!
117
00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:17,126
ALLS OF THIS AMS BULLSHIT
SURROUNDEDS BY SKANKIES GOLDS
118
00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:18,543
DIGGERS AND SLUTS ALL DAYS!
119
00:04:18,627 --> 00:04:21,627
Pickles: HOW DARE YOU SAY
THAT ABOUT SKANKY GOLD DIGGERS
120
00:04:21,710 --> 00:04:22,252
AND SLUTS!
121
00:04:22,335 --> 00:04:23,669
THAT IS OFFENSIVE!
122
00:04:23,752 --> 00:04:24,961
SHAME ON YOU!
123
00:04:25,043 --> 00:04:26,585
Toki: CAN'Ts YOU SEE?
124
00:04:26,669 --> 00:04:27,794
I WANTS A REAL WOMAN.
125
00:04:27,877 --> 00:04:29,377
Pickles: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT?!
126
00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:32,710
Toki: I WANTS A WOMANS,
PICKLE -- A REALS WOMANS, A
127
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,085
WOMANS WHATS CAN BEARS MY
CHILDRENS.
128
00:04:35,168 --> 00:04:40,335
ANDS I WILL DOs ANYTHINGS I
NEEDS TO FINDS HER.
129
00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:42,877
WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD HAVE
LINED UP TO FOR A CHANCE TO MEET
130
00:04:42,961 --> 00:04:44,460
AND HOPEFULLY MARRY
TOKI WARTOOTH.
131
00:04:44,543 --> 00:04:47,210
THE LINES ARE BIG, AND IT'S
GETTING VIOLENT, BUT DO THEY
132
00:04:47,293 --> 00:04:48,502
EVEN HAVE A CHANCE?
133
00:04:48,585 --> 00:04:50,919
AND THAT'S THE
"DETHKLOK MINUTE."
134
00:04:51,002 --> 00:04:53,335
Nathan: HEY, TOKI, THAT'S
PRETTY COOL.
135
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,710
YOU GOT MENTIONED IN THE
"DETHKLOK MINUTE."
136
00:04:55,794 --> 00:04:56,877
Toki: THANKS, NATHANS.
137
00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:58,252
BUT, GUYS, I'M NERVOUS.
138
00:04:58,335 --> 00:05:00,252
I DON'T EVEN KNOWS HOW TO GOES
ABOUTS THIS FINDINGS A LADY
139
00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:01,252
BUSINESS.
140
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,835
Nathan: OH, TOKI, THAT IS
CUTE.
141
00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:04,168
THAT'S PRECIOUS.
142
00:05:04,252 --> 00:05:06,252
Pickles: YOU NEED SOME
DATING ADVICE FROM YOUR PALS.
143
00:05:06,335 --> 00:05:08,335
Toki: WELL, THATS WOULD BE
VERY HELPFUL, PICKLE.
144
00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:11,002
Pickles: OKAY, WELL, HERE'S
WHAT YOU DO TO MEET A LADY,
145
00:05:11,085 --> 00:05:12,418
ALL RIGHT?
146
00:05:12,502 --> 00:05:15,126
YOU GET YOUR TOUR MANAGER TO
FIND SOME CHICK, AND THEN, WHEN
147
00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:17,669
HE BRINGS HER BACKSTAGE, YOU
PULL OUT YOUR DICK.
148
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:18,585
Skwisgaar: YEAH.
149
00:05:18,669 --> 00:05:19,919
YOU PULLS OUT YOUR DICKS.
150
00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:21,627
Toki: PULLS OUT YOUR --
GUYS, I'M TALKINGS ABOUT REAL
151
00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:22,710
DATES HERE.
152
00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:24,335
Pickles: HOW IS THAT NOT A
REAL DATE?
153
00:05:24,418 --> 00:05:26,293
Nathan: YEAH, HOW IS THAT NOT
A REAL DATE, TOKI?
154
00:05:26,377 --> 00:05:29,085
Toki: A DATES WHERES YOU
ACTUALLY TALKS TO A GIRL, AND
155
00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:31,710
SHE SAYS STUFFS, AND YOU ASK
HER QUESTIONS --
156
00:05:31,794 --> 00:05:32,627
Skwisgaar: QUESTIONS?
157
00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:33,669
WAIT A MINUTE.
158
00:05:33,752 --> 00:05:34,961
QUESTIONS?
159
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,085
YOU MEANS LIKE "WHENS WE ARE
IN
COURTS" QUESTIONS?
160
00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:39,043
Murderface: TOKI, UH, LOOK.
161
00:05:39,126 --> 00:05:40,627
YOU NEED SOME LADY ADVICE.
162
00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:42,293
YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.
163
00:05:42,377 --> 00:05:45,835
IN MY EXPERIENCE --
Skwisgaar: [ SCOFFS ]
164
00:05:45,919 --> 00:05:46,961
Murderface: I'M SORRY.
165
00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:48,669
ARE --
ARE YOU SCOFFING AT ME?
166
00:05:48,752 --> 00:05:49,752
Skwisgaar: NOPES.
167
00:05:49,835 --> 00:05:51,335
[ LAUGHS ]
Murderface: OKAY, LOOK, I'M A
168
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,126
LITTLE SICK OF THIS.
169
00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:53,335
Nathan: SICK OF WHAT?
170
00:05:53,418 --> 00:05:55,543
Murderface: OF PEOPLE
THINKING I DON'T GET ANY
171
00:05:55,627 --> 00:05:56,627
ACTION.
172
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:57,961
THAT FUCKING COMIC TALKING ALL
THAT SHIT
173
00:05:58,043 --> 00:06:00,627
WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU ALL KNOW
THAT I DO GET LAID --
174
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:02,126
CONSTANTLY.
175
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:04,126
Skwisgaar: WHY ARE YOUS
DIRECTINGS THAT AT ME?
176
00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:05,293
I DIDN'T EVEN SAYS NOTHING.
177
00:06:05,377 --> 00:06:07,377
Murderface: BECAUSE I KNOW
WHAT YOU THINK.
178
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,502
YOU THINK YOU'RE THE KING, AND
YOU FUCKING AREN'T!
179
00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:11,126
I AM!
180
00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:12,460
KING OF GETTING LAID!
181
00:06:12,543 --> 00:06:14,961
Pickles: MURDERFACE --
OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE
182
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:15,710
THINGS TO US.
183
00:06:15,794 --> 00:06:17,085
IT'S FINE.
184
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,627
Murderface: NO, FUCK YOU,
PICKLES, YOU SMUG ASSHOLE!
185
00:06:18,710 --> 00:06:20,835
I CAN GET ANY GIRL SKWISGAAR
GETS!
186
00:06:20,919 --> 00:06:21,919
ANY GIRL!
187
00:06:22,002 --> 00:06:23,585
YOU DICKS DOUBT ME?!
188
00:06:23,669 --> 00:06:24,168
HUH?!
189
00:06:24,252 --> 00:06:25,502
Nathan: YES.
190
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,168
Murderface: [ STAMMERING ]
THEN I'LL FUCKING PROVE IT!
191
00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:31,669
STARTING NOW, I WILL SLEEP WITH
AS MANY GIRLS AS SKWISGAAR DOES.
192
00:06:31,752 --> 00:06:32,669
Nathan: ALL RIGHT, FINE.
YOU'RE ON.
193
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,002
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO FOR PROOF?
194
00:06:35,085 --> 00:06:39,335
Pickles: HOW ABOUT LADY'S
UNDERPANTS AND/OR RECORDED VIDEO
195
00:06:39,418 --> 00:06:40,835
AND/OR AUDIO TESTIMONIAL?
196
00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:42,293
Murderface: OKAY, FINE!
197
00:06:42,377 --> 00:06:43,043
IT'S A BET!
Skwisgaar: ALL RIGHTS.
198
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:45,168
WELL, I'LL GETS OUT OF HERE.
199
00:06:45,252 --> 00:06:46,835
THINKS I'M GONNA GETS A HEAD
STARTS ON HUMILIATING YOUS.
200
00:06:46,919 --> 00:06:47,669
ALL RIGHT?
201
00:06:47,752 --> 00:06:48,835
Murderface: OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
202
00:06:48,919 --> 00:06:52,168
AND I'M GONNA GET SO MUCH
PUSSY I MIGHT CHOKE!
203
00:06:52,252 --> 00:06:53,002
ON IT.
204
00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:55,126
ON THE PUSSY
ON ALL THAT PUSSY
205
00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:56,293
I'M GONNA CHOKE.
206
00:06:56,377 --> 00:06:58,043
Toki: OH, YOU GUYS MAKES ME
FUCKING SICKS.
207
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:01,335
YOU'RE ALL SO REVOLTINGSLY
SHALLOWS, ALLS OF YOU!
208
00:07:01,418 --> 00:07:03,543
I GOTS TO GO MEETS SOME
PEOPLES
AT A DATING AGENCYS!
209
00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:04,877
I'LL SEES YOU LATER, PALS!
210
00:07:04,961 --> 00:07:07,794
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
MR. WARTOOTH, OUR COMPANY IS
211
00:07:07,877 --> 00:07:10,502
VERY SERIOUS ABOUT FINDING
THEIR
CLIENTS A LIFE-LADYMATE
212
00:07:10,585 --> 00:07:11,377
PARTNER.
213
00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:12,877
Toki: LIFE-LADYMATES PARTNER.
214
00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:14,126
YES.
215
00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:16,126
WE'RE CONFIDENT THAT OUR
MATCHING SYSTEM IS SO SOLID THAT
216
00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:18,210
WE GIVE A 100% GUARANTEE.
217
00:07:18,293 --> 00:07:20,961
Toki: WELL, THAT AM SOME
IMPRESSIVE NUMBERS, BUTS I'M
218
00:07:21,043 --> 00:07:24,002
LOOKINGS NOT ONLYS FOR A
FRIENDS
BUT ALSO A COMPANIONS AND THE
219
00:07:24,085 --> 00:07:25,460
MOTHERS TO MY CHILDRENS.
220
00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:26,585
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
221
00:07:26,669 --> 00:07:28,335
NO -- NO PROBLEM.
222
00:07:28,418 --> 00:07:29,377
Toki: THAT'S IT?
223
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,502
YES, SIR.
224
00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:31,961
Toki: HUH.
225
00:07:32,043 --> 00:07:34,585
WE CAN PINPOINT YOUR FUTURE
LADYMATE PARTNER'S FERTILITY TO
226
00:07:34,669 --> 00:07:35,877
THE SECOND.
227
00:07:35,961 --> 00:07:37,877
Murderface: [ GROANS ]
NOT TO BRAG, BUT I CAN PINPOINT
228
00:07:37,961 --> 00:07:39,543
MY FERTILITY, TOO.
229
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:43,418
ALL I NEED IS SOME LOTION AND A
LITTLE DSL-QUALITY INTERNET AND
230
00:07:43,502 --> 00:07:44,919
SOME NAPKINS.
231
00:07:45,002 --> 00:07:46,377
I'M KIDDING, OF COURSE!
232
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:47,835
KEEP GOING.
233
00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:50,752
Toki: I TOLDS YOU YOU COULD
COMES IN IF YOU DIDN'Ts RUINS MY
234
00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:51,961
MEETING.
235
00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:54,335
Murderface: I THINK I'M
ENHANCING THE MEETING.
236
00:07:54,418 --> 00:07:57,543
LOOK, SIR, I JUST WANT TO MEET
LIKE A HUNDRED GIRLS AND FUCK
237
00:07:57,627 --> 00:07:58,877
THE BAJEESUS OUT OF THEM.
238
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:01,669
SO, UH, CAN WE SET UP AN
ACCOUNT
HERE OR SOMETHING?
239
00:08:01,752 --> 00:08:02,794
WE DON'T DO THAT HERE.
240
00:08:02,877 --> 00:08:03,752
THIS IS FOR LIFEMATES.
Murderface: DAMN!
241
00:08:04,835 --> 00:08:05,919
THIS IS NOT GONNA BE EASY.
242
00:08:06,002 --> 00:08:07,919
Toki: JUST WAITS IN THE
FUCKING LOBBY!
243
00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:09,669
Murderface: SORRY! GAAAAH!
244
00:08:09,752 --> 00:08:12,710
YOU BETTER FIND THIS GUY SOME
PUSSY BECAUSE HE IS REALLY --
245
00:08:12,794 --> 00:08:14,794
Toki: WILL YOU FUCKING GETS
OUTTA HERE?!
246
00:08:14,877 --> 00:08:17,085
[ DOOR OPENS ]
LIKE I WAS SAYING, OUR
247
00:08:17,168 --> 00:08:19,585
MATCHES ARE ACCURATE, BUT WE
NEED INFORMATION FROM YOU.
248
00:08:19,669 --> 00:08:21,460
FIRST OFF -- LOOKS.
249
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,460
WE KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU
BE ATTRACTED TO YOUR PARTNER, SO
250
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:25,627
WE WANT TO MAKE SURE --
Toki: WELL, FIRST OFF, I
251
00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:28,418
DON'T EVEN WANTS HER TO KNOWS
I'M FAMOUS, AND I DON'T CARES
252
00:08:28,502 --> 00:08:29,835
WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKES.
253
00:08:29,919 --> 00:08:31,126
LOOKS AM FLEETINGS.
254
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:34,460
I'M NOT SOME SHALLOWS DILDOS
WHATS ONLY CARES ABOUTS TITS.
255
00:08:34,543 --> 00:08:37,710
I WANTS A PURES WOMANS WITH
CONSFIDENSK AND A TRUE HEARTS,
256
00:08:37,794 --> 00:08:39,043
SOMEONES I CANS TALKS TO.
257
00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:39,794
I GET THE IDEA.
258
00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:40,877
I THINK WE'RE DONE.
259
00:08:40,961 --> 00:08:42,126
Toki: OH, THANKS YOU SO MUCH!
260
00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:43,502
THATS AMS WONDERFUL NEWS!
261
00:08:43,585 --> 00:08:50,335
OH, AND, TOKI, LIKE I SAID --
WE GUARANTEE OUR RESULTS.
262
00:08:50,418 --> 00:08:52,335
Murderface: I CAN DO
EVERYTHING SKWISGAAR CAN.
263
00:08:52,418 --> 00:08:54,877
IF I CAN GET THESE LADIES, I
CAN
MAKE THEM --
264
00:08:54,961 --> 00:08:56,460
OKAY, CALM DOWN.
265
00:08:56,543 --> 00:08:57,794
HELLO, EVERYBODY!
266
00:08:57,877 --> 00:08:59,794
SURPRISE INSPECTION!
267
00:08:59,877 --> 00:09:01,252
HA! HA HA!
268
00:09:01,335 --> 00:09:02,085
RIGHT?
269
00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,794
Murderface: HI, THERE, MISSY.
270
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,961
[ SIGHS ]
Murderface: EXCUSE ME.
271
00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:08,335
MIND IF I GET IN THERE AND
CHECK MY MySpace ACCOUNT?
272
00:09:08,418 --> 00:09:09,669
I'M WORKING, ACTUALLY.
273
00:09:09,752 --> 00:09:12,085
Murderface: YEAH, JUST GET A
LITTLE COMFORTABLE HERE.
274
00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:14,710
AHH!
275
00:09:14,794 --> 00:09:17,168
JUST APPROVE A COUPLE COMMENTS.
276
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,710
I GET A LOT OF CRAZY COMMENTS.
277
00:09:18,794 --> 00:09:21,877
YOU'RE PROBABLY A LITTLE
STAR STRUCK RIGHT NOW.
278
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:22,919
JUST RELAX.
279
00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:24,418
I'M TRYING TO GET SOME WORK
DONE.
280
00:09:24,502 --> 00:09:25,418
Murderface: RELAX.
281
00:09:25,502 --> 00:09:26,669
I'M JUST A REGULAR GUY.
282
00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:30,377
I MEAN, SURE, I'M A
MULTI-BILLIONAIRE, AND I AM
YOUR
283
00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:33,085
BOSS, SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS.
284
00:09:33,168 --> 00:09:36,085
IF YOU WANT TO KEEP --
AAAAH!
285
00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:36,752
GEE!
286
00:09:36,835 --> 00:09:39,002
OW! OW! OW!
287
00:09:39,085 --> 00:09:42,502
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
Toki: HELLOS?
288
00:09:42,585 --> 00:09:43,252
MR. WARTOOTH?
289
00:09:43,335 --> 00:09:44,335
Toki: OH, YES.
290
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,002
I HAVE SOME VERY GOOD NEWS
FOR YOU.
291
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,043
WE FOUND YOUR LADYMATE.
292
00:09:47,126 --> 00:09:48,752
Toki: HEYS, THEY FOUNDS MY
LADYMATES!
293
00:09:48,835 --> 00:09:51,126
WE FOUND THE LADY YOU ARE
GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR
294
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:52,002
LIFE WITH.
295
00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:53,710
HER NAME IS CAROLINE BSIJLDFJO.
296
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:54,710
Toki: OH, WOWEE!
297
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,002
THAT'S GREATS NEWS!
298
00:09:56,085 --> 00:09:57,877
[ ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
GUYS, I'M GOING ONS MY BIG
299
00:09:57,961 --> 00:09:58,377
DATES.
300
00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,502
WISH ME LUCKS!
301
00:09:59,585 --> 00:10:01,210
Nathan: GOOD LUCK!
302
00:10:01,293 --> 00:10:05,377
Toki: [ Autotuned ] ♪ I NEVER
METS YOU ♪
303
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:12,377
♪ BUT I THINKS I LOVES YOU
♪ YOU AMS THE WOMANS OF MY
304
00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:21,377
DREAMS ♪
♪ COMPUTERS TECHNOLOGIES
305
00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:28,252
BROUGHT US TOGETHER ♪
♪ AND I THINKS THAT YOU ARE THE
306
00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:39,418
ONES FOR ME ♪
♪ I AM TOK-I-I-I-I-I-I
307
00:10:39,502 --> 00:10:49,418
♪ YOU AM CAROLI-I-I-I-I-I-I-NE
♪ AND WE METS ONLINES
308
00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:55,252
♪ YOU AM CAROLI-I-I-I-I-I-I-NE
♪ AND WE METS ONLINES
309
00:10:55,335 --> 00:11:03,627
♪ BECAUSE I'M GONNA MAKES YOU
MI-I-I-I-I-NES ♪
310
00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:11,794
♪ PROBABLY GETS MARRIED
♪ PROBABLY HAS CHILDRENS
311
00:11:11,877 --> 00:11:15,502
♪ PROBABLY LIVES OUR LIVES
TOGETHERS ♪
312
00:11:15,585 --> 00:11:24,835
♪ PROBABLY DIES TOGETHERS
♪ I AM TOKI
313
00:11:24,919 --> 00:11:27,085
HI.
314
00:11:27,168 --> 00:11:28,794
Toki: HI.
315
00:11:38,877 --> 00:11:40,377
OH, HERE'S MY FERTILITY CHART.
316
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,293
Toki: OH, IT'S, UH --
REALLY?
317
00:11:42,377 --> 00:11:43,961
THE 15th -- YOU'LL HAVE TO
KEEP IT OPEN.
318
00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:45,126
Toki: THE 15ths?
319
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,794
OH, THAT'S WHEN WE'LL HAVE
INTERCOURSE.
320
00:11:46,877 --> 00:11:48,627
Toki: INST-- INSTERCOURSE?
321
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:50,585
I MEANS, WE JUST BARELYS METS.
322
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:53,335
I LIKE THE NAME WILTHMORE OR
DONNINGTON.
323
00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:54,460
Toki: FOR WHATS?
324
00:11:54,543 --> 00:11:55,252
FOR OUR BABY.
325
00:11:55,335 --> 00:11:56,585
I'VE GOT TO GO.
326
00:11:56,669 --> 00:11:58,961
LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR LONG,
LONG FUTURE TOGETHER, LIFE MATE.
327
00:11:59,043 --> 00:12:00,377
Toki: OH.
328
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:02,418
DON'T FORGET -- KEEP THE 15th
OPEN SO YOU CAN DEPOSIT YOUR
329
00:12:02,502 --> 00:12:05,502
SPERM INTO MY VAGINA WITH YOUR
PENIS.
330
00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:06,877
Toki: OKAY.
331
00:12:06,961 --> 00:12:08,961
Charles: MURDERFACE, THERE'S
A SEXUAL-HARASSMENT LAWSUIT
332
00:12:09,043 --> 00:12:11,168
BEING FILED AGAINST YOU BY ONE
OF OUR EMPLOYEES AT THE ONLINE
333
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,168
DEPARTMENT.
334
00:12:12,252 --> 00:12:13,335
Murderface: ARE YOU KIDDING
ME?
335
00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:15,794
THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT
WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?
336
00:12:15,877 --> 00:12:18,335
I DIDN'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO
SEXUALLY HARASS HER!
337
00:12:18,418 --> 00:12:20,627
Charles: WHETHER OR NOT IT'S
TRUE IS BESIDE THE POINT.
338
00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:23,085
IN CASES LIKE THESE, IT'S BEST
TO PROVIDE A LUMP PAYMENT, OUT
339
00:12:23,168 --> 00:12:23,919
OF YOUR POCKET, OF COURSE.
340
00:12:24,002 --> 00:12:25,210
SETTLE OUT OF COURT.
341
00:12:25,293 --> 00:12:26,669
OH, AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
ATTEND A SEXUAL-HARASSMENT
342
00:12:26,752 --> 00:12:27,669
SEMINAR.
343
00:12:27,752 --> 00:12:29,752
Murderface: SEXUAL-HARASSMENT
SEMINAR?
344
00:12:29,835 --> 00:12:32,460
THAT'S GONNA TOTALLY INTERFERE
WITH ME GETTING PUSSY
345
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,877
I BETTER NOT LOSE THIS BET
BECAUSE OF THIS.
346
00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:37,752
I WONDER IF SKWISGAAR'S EVEN
PARTICIPATING.
347
00:12:37,835 --> 00:12:39,710
[ ALL MOANING PASSIONATELY ]
[ HEART BEATING ]
348
00:12:49,627 --> 00:12:50,710
Pickles: SO?
349
00:12:50,794 --> 00:12:51,752
HOW WAS THE DATE?
350
00:12:51,835 --> 00:12:52,710
Toki: GREAT!
351
00:12:52,794 --> 00:12:54,252
SHE'S, UH, REALLYS THE ONES!
352
00:12:54,335 --> 00:12:56,418
OH, AND, WH-- WHAT'S A
PERSONALITYS.
353
00:12:56,502 --> 00:12:57,710
Pickles: THAT'S GREAT, MAN!
354
00:12:57,794 --> 00:12:59,085
WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET HER?
355
00:12:59,168 --> 00:12:59,919
Toki: NEVERS.
356
00:13:00,002 --> 00:13:01,126
Pickles: OH, I GET IT.
357
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:03,502
YOU'RE AFRAID WE'LL TRY TO
STEAL
HER AWAY.
358
00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:05,877
SHE MUST BE SOMETHING, HUH?
359
00:13:05,961 --> 00:13:08,085
SHE MUST BE AN ANGEL, HUH?
360
00:13:08,168 --> 00:13:10,293
LIKE A GIFT FROM GOD.
361
00:13:10,377 --> 00:13:11,043
Toki: YUPS.
362
00:13:11,126 --> 00:13:12,252
Nathan: HEY, THAT'S GREAT.
363
00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:14,335
SO YOU REALLY RECOMMEND THIS
DATING AGENCY, HUH?
364
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,002
Toki: OH, NOTS REALLYS, NO!
365
00:13:16,085 --> 00:13:16,543
NO!
366
00:13:16,627 --> 00:13:17,585
IT'S, UH...
367
00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,210
IT'S TOOS EXPENSIVES!
368
00:13:19,293 --> 00:13:21,252
IT'S JUST WAYS TOOS EXPENSIVES!
369
00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:23,585
Pickles: DUDE, BUT I THOUGHT
THEY PICKED A WINNER FOR YOU.
370
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:24,752
Toki: HEY, I GOTS AN IDEA!
371
00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:26,418
HOW ABOUTS NO MORE TALKINGS
ABOUT THIS?
372
00:13:26,502 --> 00:13:28,835
YEAH, I HAVE TO GOs MEETS WITH
THEMS ACTUALLYS RIGHT NOW!
373
00:13:28,919 --> 00:13:29,961
GOODBYE!
374
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,293
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
Nathan: WOW, I NEVER SEEN THE
375
00:13:32,377 --> 00:13:33,794
KID SO HAPPY.
376
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:34,961
HI, FOLKS!
377
00:13:35,043 --> 00:13:36,293
IT'S ME -- FACEBONES!
378
00:13:36,377 --> 00:13:37,919
ALL RIGHT, FACEBONES!
379
00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,252
AAH! AAH!
380
00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:42,418
I'M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT A
VERY SERIOUS ISSUE -- SEXUAL
381
00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:44,085
HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE!
382
00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:46,794
BUT FIRST, WHAT IS SEXUAL
HARASSMENT?
383
00:13:46,877 --> 00:13:49,752
WELL, SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS THE
ACT OF DEGRADING PEOPLE WITH
384
00:13:49,835 --> 00:13:51,252
YOUR SEXUALITY.
385
00:13:51,335 --> 00:13:53,877
IT TAKES THE POWER AWAY FROM
THE PERSON BEING HARASSED AND
386
00:13:53,961 --> 00:13:55,877
MAKES THE HARASSER MORE
POWERFUL
THAN EVER.
387
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,752
Murderface: I GOT FUCKING]
PEPPER-SPRAYED.
388
00:13:57,835 --> 00:13:59,877
HOW -- HOW DOES THAT GIVE ME
POWER?
389
00:13:59,961 --> 00:14:02,460
COMPLIMENTS IN THE WORKPLACE
CAN EASILY BECOME MISCONSTRUED
390
00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:03,210
AND TAKEN AS FLIRTATION.
391
00:14:03,293 --> 00:14:05,043
NOW A SHORT EXAMPLE.
392
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:07,627
IN THIS EXAMPLE, A KLOKATEER
WILL BE EQUIPPED WITH A SHOCKING
393
00:14:07,710 --> 00:14:10,043
MECHANISM THAT WILL HELP GUIDE
HIM INTO BEHAVING PROPERLY AT
394
00:14:10,126 --> 00:14:10,794
WORK.
395
00:14:10,877 --> 00:14:12,126
IS THAT A NEW BELT?
396
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:13,377
YES. IT IS.
397
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:14,835
IT LOOKS VERY GOOD.
398
00:14:14,919 --> 00:14:16,210
AAH!
399
00:14:16,293 --> 00:14:17,835
SAYING THAT YOUR BELT LOOKS
COULD BE TAKEN AS A SEXUAL
400
00:14:17,919 --> 00:14:18,460
ADVANCE.
401
00:14:18,543 --> 00:14:19,669
LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.
402
00:14:19,752 --> 00:14:20,877
IS THAT A NEW BELT?
403
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:21,835
YES.
404
00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:23,877
THAT IS GOOD INFORMATION TO
HAVE.
405
00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:26,669
SAYING SOMETHING LIKE "THAT
IS GOOD INFORMATION TO HAVE"
406
00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:29,543
COULD BE KIND OF CREEPY AND MAKE
IT SEEM LIKE HE'S COMPILING
407
00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,585
INFORMATION FOR A PARKING-LOT
ATTACK OR A HOME INVASION, AND
408
00:14:32,669 --> 00:14:34,126
THAT'S HARASSMENT!
409
00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:36,877
AAH! FUCK
CURSING IN THE WORKPLACE CAN
410
00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:38,252
ALSO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL AWKWARD.
411
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,418
NOW LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.
412
00:14:39,502 --> 00:14:40,252
IS THAT A NEW BELT?
YES, IT IS.
413
00:14:41,252 --> 00:14:42,460
AAH!
414
00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:44,585
BEST TO AVOID ALL THOSE
COMPLIMENTS AND CONTINUE
415
00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:45,961
WORKING.
416
00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:51,335
NOW LET'S WATCH AGAIN
WITHOUT
ALL THOSE CONFUSING
COMPLIMENTS.
417
00:14:51,418 --> 00:14:52,794
WELL DONE.
418
00:14:52,877 --> 00:14:54,710
BUT WHAT IF OUR KLOKATEER WANTED
TO NOT MAKE ANY COMPLIMENTS BUT,
419
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:55,669
INSTEAD, A FUN JOKE.
420
00:14:55,752 --> 00:14:57,210
NO JOKING IN THE WORKPLACE.
421
00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:58,794
NO JOKING IN THE WORKPLACE.
422
00:14:58,877 --> 00:15:00,502
HUMOR IS HURTFUL AND CAN RUIN
LIVES.
423
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:01,835
WE'RE ALMOST DONE, FOLKS.
424
00:15:01,919 --> 00:15:04,168
WE'RE ROUNDING THE CORNER TO
FINISHING UP OUR
425
00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,543
SEXUAL-HARASSMENT FUN MARATHON!
426
00:15:06,627 --> 00:15:08,627
AND NOW SOME PRACTICAL
INFORMATION.
427
00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:10,043
DO NOT LINGER AROUND IN
RESTROOMS.
428
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,627
KEEP YOUR OFFICE DOOR OPEN SO
THAT PEOPLE CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE
429
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:14,085
CLEARLY NOT JACKING OFF IN
THERE.
430
00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:16,919
IF YOU GET A BONER DURING WORK,
BEST TO EXCUSE YOURSELF AND GO
431
00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,210
HOME!
432
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,961
HERE'S A LIST OF THINGS TO
REMEMBER TO AVOID BEING CAUGHT
433
00:15:20,043 --> 00:15:22,002
IN A TRICKY SEXUAL-HARASSMENT
LAWSUIT!
434
00:15:22,085 --> 00:15:22,877
HERE WE GO!
435
00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:24,252
ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION.
436
00:15:24,335 --> 00:15:25,252
DRESS CONSERVATIVELY.
437
00:15:25,335 --> 00:15:26,585
RESIST THE URGE TO BE FRIENDLY.
438
00:15:26,669 --> 00:15:28,085
THIS COULD BE TAKEN AS FLIRTING.
439
00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:30,126
IF YOU DO HAPPEN TO ACCIDENTALLY
FLIRT, DO NOT MAKE UP FOR IT BY
440
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:31,252
BEING OVERLY FRIENDLY.
441
00:15:31,335 --> 00:15:32,752
THIS COULD BE TAKEN AS AN
AGGRESSIVE ATTACK!
442
00:15:32,835 --> 00:15:36,543
Murderface: WILL THIS THING
NEVER END?!
443
00:15:36,627 --> 00:15:38,877
SO I'M HEARING THAT THE DATE
WENT REALLY WELL.
444
00:15:38,961 --> 00:15:39,961
CONGRATULATIONS.
445
00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:42,335
THAT'S --
Toki: UH, FIRST OFFS, THANKS
446
00:15:42,418 --> 00:15:43,627
YOUS.
447
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,460
HOWSEVER, I THINKS I MAY HAS
BEEN MISMATCHED -- POSSIBLYS A
448
00:15:46,543 --> 00:15:49,418
MISTAKES ON YOUR BEHALFS?
449
00:15:49,502 --> 00:15:51,210
THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE,
MR. WARTOOTH.
450
00:15:51,293 --> 00:15:54,168
Toki: WELPS, I MEANS, I'M
NOTS TOTALLYS SURE I's MADE A
451
00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:57,835
TRULY SOLIDS CONNECTIONS WITH
HERS, ANDS, UH, WELLS, UH...
452
00:15:57,919 --> 00:16:01,002
PHYSICALLYS SHE'S, UH --
AH, AH, AH!
453
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:04,460
MR. WARTOOTH, YOU WEREN'T
CONCERNED WITH HER LOOKS!
454
00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:06,335
IT SAYS RIGHT HERE ON YOUR
PAPERS!
455
00:16:06,418 --> 00:16:07,794
Toki: YES, THAT'S TRUES.
456
00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:10,085
HOWEVERS, LET'S BACKS UP A
LITTLE BITS HERE.
457
00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:14,669
HER PERSONALITIES IS KINDS OF --
HER PERSONALITY IS ADEQUATE
458
00:16:14,752 --> 00:16:17,418
FOR YOUR TEMPERAMENT,
MR. WARTOOTH.
459
00:16:17,502 --> 00:16:20,210
eLadymates.com GUARANTEES ITS
RESULTS.
460
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:25,210
WE SUGGEST THAT YOU GO BACK AND
CONCENTRATE ON MAKING THIS WORK.
461
00:16:25,293 --> 00:16:27,919
Toki: WELL, BUTS --
WE SUGGEST YOU GO.
462
00:16:28,002 --> 00:16:29,252
Toki: FINES!
463
00:16:29,335 --> 00:16:31,835
I'LL GOs AND TRIES TO MAKES IT
WORKS, BUT YOU KNOW WHATS?
464
00:16:31,919 --> 00:16:35,418
THIS IS BULLSHIT
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
465
00:16:35,502 --> 00:16:36,752
FOLLOW HIM.
466
00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:38,710
AND IF HE FAILS TO FULFILL HIS
END OF THE CONTRACT, HURT ONE OF
467
00:16:38,794 --> 00:16:39,752
HIS LOVED ONES.
468
00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:42,126
AND HURT HIS LOVED ONE WHERE
IT
HURTS.
469
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,043
SIR?
470
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:44,543
HURT HIM IN HIS DICK.
471
00:16:44,627 --> 00:16:46,377
AND HIS BALLS.
472
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:48,293
WHICH ONE?
473
00:16:48,377 --> 00:16:49,710
THE GUY.
474
00:16:49,794 --> 00:16:52,335
Murderface: HELLO, UH,
MRS. JOHNSON?
475
00:16:52,418 --> 00:16:56,002
YES, THIS IS WILLIAM MURDERFACE
FROM DETHKLOK, THE BASS PLAYER.
476
00:16:56,085 --> 00:17:01,335
I'M OFFERING A ONE-TIME, UH,
DEAL HERE ONLY WHERE I, UH,
COME
477
00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:03,126
OVER AND FUCK YOU.
478
00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:04,543
UH, INTERESTED?
479
00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:06,794
YEAH, I'D FUCK YOU.
480
00:17:06,877 --> 00:17:07,752
YEAH.
481
00:17:07,835 --> 00:17:09,502
NO, IT'S NO JOKE.
482
00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:11,752
I'M NOT SCREWING AROUND.
483
00:17:11,835 --> 00:17:14,293
OKAY, WELL, THEN, COULD I
PURCHASE A PAIR OF YOUR
484
00:17:14,377 --> 00:17:14,961
UNDERWEAR?
Toki: WILLIAMS?
485
00:17:16,043 --> 00:17:17,543
Murderface: WELL FUCK YOU,
LADY!
486
00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:18,585
THANKS A LOT, TOKI.
487
00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:20,126
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GET LAID!
488
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:20,961
Toki: I'M SORRYS.
489
00:17:21,043 --> 00:17:22,168
Murderface: AH, IT'S FINE.
490
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:23,752
I JUST, UH...
491
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:27,669
TIME IS ALMOST UP WITH THIS
BET,
AND I HAVEN'T REALLY UH...
492
00:17:27,752 --> 00:17:32,252
I GOT TO HAVE SEX WITH AT
LEAST
ONE GIRL BEFORE IT'S OVER.
493
00:17:32,335 --> 00:17:34,543
Toki: CAN I CONFIDES IN YOUS
ABOUTS SOMETHINGS PERSONALS?
494
00:17:34,627 --> 00:17:35,293
Murderface: COME ON!
495
00:17:35,377 --> 00:17:36,710
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
496
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,877
Toki: THIS GIRLS, I DON'T
THINKS IT AMS WORKINGS OUTS, AND
497
00:17:38,961 --> 00:17:40,752
I DON'Ts KNOWS WHATS TO DOES
ABOUT IT!
498
00:17:40,835 --> 00:17:42,126
Murderface: HAVE YOU BONED
HER?
499
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:43,877
Toki: NO, BUT THAT'S THE
THINGS -- SHE REALLY WANTS TO.
500
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,002
Murderface: SO?!
501
00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:47,293
WHAT THE FUCK
I'M SITTING HERE HAVING THE DRY
502
00:17:47,377 --> 00:17:50,293
SPELL OF MY LIFE AND THE STAKES
ARE HIGH, AND YOU'RE ALL, "THIS
503
00:17:50,377 --> 00:17:53,919
GIRL WANTS TO FUCK ME, AND I
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"
504
00:17:54,002 --> 00:17:56,168
I SHOULD PUNCH YOU IN THE --
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY
505
00:17:56,252 --> 00:17:56,961
OFFICE!
506
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,961
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
OOH, OH!
507
00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:01,168
DOES SHE HAVE A SISTER?!
508
00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:02,919
Nathan: SO THIS GIRL WANTS TO
GET IT ON WITH YOU?
509
00:18:03,002 --> 00:18:03,961
Toki: YEAH, ONs THE 15th.
510
00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:05,669
Nathan: WHY IS THAT
IMPORTANT?
511
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,710
Toki: THAT'S WHEN SHE SAYS
SHE AMS OVULATING AND THATS THE
512
00:18:08,794 --> 00:18:11,335
CHANCES ARE HIGHS FOR WHATS TO
BE PREGNANTS.
513
00:18:11,418 --> 00:18:13,794
Pickles: SO SHE WANTS TO HAVE
PLANNED SEX WITH YOU?
514
00:18:13,877 --> 00:18:16,126
Nathan: SEX DESIGNED TO
PROCREATE?
515
00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:16,835
UGH!
516
00:18:16,919 --> 00:18:18,085
FUCKING GROSS.
517
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:20,043
Pickles: YOU CAN'T TELL ME
WHEN TO HAVE A BONER!
518
00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:21,418
THAT'S MY BUSINESS!
519
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,043
Toki: AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
520
00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:25,335
THIS IS WHATS SHE LOOKS LIKE.
521
00:18:25,418 --> 00:18:26,585
Nathan: OH, BOY.
522
00:18:26,669 --> 00:18:29,210
Toki: SHE LOOKS LIKE A
GORILLA WHATS BEEN SHAVED.
523
00:18:29,293 --> 00:18:31,043
Pickles: YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE
IN THE HOT SEAT.
524
00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:32,043
LOOK, YOU WANT SOME ADVICE?
525
00:18:32,126 --> 00:18:33,293
I GOT SOME FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT?
526
00:18:33,377 --> 00:18:37,168
WHEN THE 15th COMES, YOU JUST
GOT TO LISTEN, RIGHT?
527
00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:38,418
Toki: LISTENS?
528
00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:40,377
Pickles: YOU NEED TO LISTEN
TO YOUR DICK, TOKI.
529
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:44,377
YOUR DICK WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, RIGHT?
530
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:45,543
LISTEN TO YOUR DICK.
531
00:18:45,627 --> 00:18:47,710
Nathan: YEAH, LISTEN TO YOUR
DICK.
532
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,710
Toki: LISTENS TO MY DICK!
533
00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:52,710
Nathan: AND, ALSO, DON'T EVER
GET INTO A ROOM THAT YOU CAN'T
534
00:18:52,794 --> 00:18:54,002
GET OUT OF.
535
00:18:54,085 --> 00:18:56,002
[ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS ]
536
00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:37,752
HI.
537
00:19:37,835 --> 00:19:39,210
Toki: HI.
538
00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:41,210
I WENT AHEAD AND PURCHASED
SOME NON-ANIMAL LUBRICANT IN
539
00:19:41,293 --> 00:19:43,335
CASE MY VAGINA REFUSES TO
SELF-LUBRICATE.
540
00:19:43,418 --> 00:19:43,877
Toki: OH.
541
00:19:43,961 --> 00:19:45,210
GOOD THINKINGS.
542
00:19:45,293 --> 00:19:47,252
IN THE BATHROOM, YOU'LL FIND
SOME MEDICAL PENIS SOAP.
543
00:19:47,335 --> 00:19:49,210
I'D APPRECIATE IF YOU SCRUBBED
DOWN YOUR PENIS.
544
00:19:49,293 --> 00:19:50,835
TWICE.
545
00:19:50,919 --> 00:19:52,335
Toki: OH.
546
00:19:52,418 --> 00:19:53,377
Murderface: WHAT?
547
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,460
YOU WILL?
548
00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:55,669
WITH ME?
549
00:19:55,752 --> 00:19:57,752
YEAH, I KNOW THAT HOTEL!
550
00:19:57,835 --> 00:19:59,835
YOU'LL LET ME VIDEOTAPE IT?!
551
00:19:59,919 --> 00:20:01,335
FUCK YEAH, MAN!
552
00:20:01,418 --> 00:20:02,335
SEE YOU THEN!
553
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,669
Murderface: OH FUCK YES!
554
00:20:03,752 --> 00:20:04,919
I'M GONNA GET LAID!
555
00:20:05,002 --> 00:20:07,126
OH, THANK YOU, CRAIGSLIST!
556
00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,919
MWAH! MWAH!
557
00:20:09,002 --> 00:20:14,168
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
Toki: UGH, STUPID
558
00:20:14,252 --> 00:20:16,585
MEDICINES-SMELLINGS PENIS SOAPS.
559
00:20:16,669 --> 00:20:17,835
IT'S GROSS.
560
00:20:17,919 --> 00:20:20,752
TOKI.
561
00:20:20,835 --> 00:20:22,168
Toki: WHO AMS THIS?
562
00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:23,168
IT'S ME.
563
00:20:23,252 --> 00:20:24,335
YOUR DICK.
564
00:20:24,418 --> 00:20:26,252
Toki: [ GASPS ]
PICKLE TOLD ME TO LISTENS TO
565
00:20:26,335 --> 00:20:27,126
YOU!
566
00:20:27,210 --> 00:20:29,043
TOKI, YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME.
567
00:20:29,126 --> 00:20:32,252
WE CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH THAT
WOMAN IN THE OTHER ROOM.
568
00:20:32,335 --> 00:20:34,502
Toki: BUTS WE HAS TO OR WE'LL
GETS IN TROUBLE.
569
00:20:34,585 --> 00:20:36,293
THEN YOU MAY AS WELL CHOP ME
OFF!
570
00:20:36,377 --> 00:20:38,210
I'M TALKING ABOUT SAVING YOUR
LIFE.
571
00:20:38,293 --> 00:20:42,335
IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH THAT
WOMAN,
YOU'LL BE MISERABLE FOREVER.
572
00:20:42,418 --> 00:20:44,835
[ Echoing ] EVER.
573
00:20:44,919 --> 00:20:45,752
TOKI?
574
00:20:45,835 --> 00:20:46,877
WHY AREN'T YOU UNDRESSED?
575
00:20:46,961 --> 00:20:48,293
Toki: I'M GETTINGS OUT OF
HERES!
576
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:52,126
I'M LISTENINGS TO MY DICKS THIS
TIMES, AND IT SAYS, "DON'Ts GETS"
577
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,961
NEAR YOU!"
YOU GET OVER HERE AND ENGAGE
578
00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:54,877
IN INTERCOURSE WITH ME!
579
00:20:54,961 --> 00:20:56,085
IT'S THE 15th!
580
00:20:56,168 --> 00:20:58,293
Toki: I DON'Ts CARE WHATS
NUMBERS IT IS!
581
00:20:58,377 --> 00:21:00,043
I'M NOTS GONNA DOs IT!
582
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,543
I DON'T THINK SO.
583
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:08,460
Nathan: DON'T EVER GET INTO
A ROOM YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF.
584
00:21:08,543 --> 00:21:11,293
Toki: AAH!
585
00:21:11,377 --> 00:21:14,085
HE DIDN'T FULFILL HIS END OF
THE DEAL.
586
00:21:14,168 --> 00:21:15,293
Murderface: AHH.
587
00:21:15,377 --> 00:21:17,919
♪ DOO, DOO DOO, DOO
THAT'S RIGHT, CLASSIC DATE.
588
00:21:18,002 --> 00:21:19,377
KNOCK ON THE OL' DOOR...
589
00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:20,543
PULL OUT YOUR DICK!
590
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:22,794
Murderface: HELLO --
AAH!
591
00:21:22,877 --> 00:21:27,377
[ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
Skwisgaar: WHOA.
592
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:28,627
I CAN'Ts BELIEVES I WONS.
593
00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:31,710
I ONLYS HAD SEX WITH ABOUT 400
GIRLS IN LIKES TWO WEEKS.
594
00:21:31,794 --> 00:21:33,210
AND I WASN'T EVEN TRYINGS.
595
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,961
Nathan: YEAH, BUT WE NEVER
GOT THOSE FINAL NUMBERS BACK
596
00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,377
FROM MURDERFACE.
597
00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:38,752
Pickles: HEY, MURDERFACE, HOW
MANY GIRLS YOU SLEEP WITH?
598
00:21:38,835 --> 00:21:39,919
Murderface: NONE.
599
00:21:40,002 --> 00:21:41,043
Pickles: WHAT'S THAT?
600
00:21:41,126 --> 00:21:42,919
Murderface: I SAID FUCKING
NONE!
601
00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:47,002
I WOULD'VE WON IF MY DICK
WEREN'T BROKEN AND SPLAYED.
602
00:21:47,085 --> 00:21:48,877
NOT A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD.
603
00:21:48,961 --> 00:21:49,835
Nathan: WELL, THERE YOU GO.
604
00:21:49,919 --> 00:21:51,126
Skwisgaar: ANYBODY SEENS
TOKIS?
605
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:54,210
Nathan: I THINK HE'S FINALLY
CELEBRATING HIS BIRTHDAY.
606
00:21:54,293 --> 00:21:56,210
Toki: THIS AMS A GREATS
DATES, LADIES.
607
00:21:56,293 --> 00:21:58,752
AND NOWS I AMS PULLS OUT MY
DICK.
44094
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof