Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,416 --> 00:00:00,533
h
2
00:00:00,534 --> 00:00:00,650
ht
3
00:00:00,651 --> 00:00:00,768
htt
4
00:00:00,769 --> 00:00:00,886
http
5
00:00:00,887 --> 00:00:01,003
http:
6
00:00:01,004 --> 00:00:01,121
http:/
7
00:00:01,122 --> 00:00:01,239
http://
8
00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:01,356
http://h
9
00:00:01,357 --> 00:00:01,474
http://hi
10
00:00:01,475 --> 00:00:01,591
http://hiq
11
00:00:01,592 --> 00:00:01,709
http://hiqv
12
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:01,827
http://hiqve
13
00:00:01,828 --> 00:00:01,944
http://hiqve.
14
00:00:01,945 --> 00:00:02,062
http://hiqve.c
15
00:00:02,063 --> 00:00:02,180
http://hiqve.co
16
00:00:02,181 --> 00:00:02,297
http://hiqve.com
17
00:00:02,298 --> 00:00:02,415
http://hiqve.com/
18
00:00:02,416 --> 00:00:05,416
http://hiqve.com/
19
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,234
Why would SportsIllustrated even publish
20
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:11,487
an issue that's
not a swimsuit issue?
21
00:00:11,529 --> 00:00:14,365
You know who should do
a swimsuit issue? Playboy.
22
00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:18,744
Why would you put clothes
on a centrefold?
23
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:21,371
Sometimes I get tired
of all the complete nakedness
24
00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:24,458
and I like to be
teased a little.
25
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:28,713
Yeah, there's a lot more going
on up here than you know about.
26
00:00:28,754 --> 00:00:31,554
I think there's some stuff going on
in there that you don't know about.
27
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,721
You guys should have come
to the arboretum with us.
28
00:00:36,762 --> 00:00:39,224
We saw plants and trees
from all over the world.
29
00:00:39,265 --> 00:00:42,310
There was a bush from Morocco.
30
00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:43,752
Smelled like
chocolate chip cookies.
31
00:00:45,021 --> 00:00:46,480
Ah, that is the perfect bush.
32
00:00:49,901 --> 00:00:52,141
Thanks for taking me to the
arboretum. It was really fun.
33
00:00:52,778 --> 00:00:54,405
Yeah, what a great day.
34
00:00:57,783 --> 00:00:59,410
What a horrible day!
35
00:01:01,204 --> 00:01:03,622
I don't mind looking
at some trees, okay?
36
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,144
But when they put little signs
on them with little Latin names,
37
00:01:07,377 --> 00:01:09,087
it makes me want to harm myself.
38
00:01:10,629 --> 00:01:13,424
So the missus took you out
for some girl fun, huh?
39
00:01:13,465 --> 00:01:15,509
See, Donna is hot,
but she is mean.
40
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:20,681
My girlfriend Nina? Just hot.
41
00:01:20,723 --> 00:01:22,767
You know, Fez, you talk a lot
about this Nina chick,
42
00:01:22,808 --> 00:01:24,036
but none of us
have ever seen her.
43
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,354
Yeah, we're actually
starting to suspect
44
00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:27,897
that she's some creepy alter ego
45
00:01:27,939 --> 00:01:29,779
you visit late at night
in front of the mirror.
46
00:01:30,733 --> 00:01:32,013
Oh, no, I don't do that anymore.
47
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:37,031
But Nina is the real deal.
Kelso saw her at the DMV.
48
00:01:37,073 --> 00:01:39,867
There were a lot of girls there.
49
00:01:39,909 --> 00:01:42,749
She could have been the one with
the lazy eye that does the vision test.
50
00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:48,084
Lazy-eye Lizzie? No way.
She wouldn't even look at me.
51
00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:57,194
Nina, my friends don't believe
me that you're my girlfriend,
52
00:01:57,218 --> 00:02:00,554
even though I frenched you.
53
00:02:00,596 --> 00:02:04,475
Girlfriend? I don't
know if we're there yet.
54
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:07,395
I mean, I like you
and all, it's just that
55
00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:09,480
all the guys at
the DMV seem great
56
00:02:09,521 --> 00:02:12,001
until you find them in your
apartment wearing your hot curlers.
57
00:02:13,318 --> 00:02:14,485
Warren.
58
00:02:17,613 --> 00:02:20,325
I want to get to know you
better, meet your friends,
59
00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:22,493
make sure they're not puppets.
60
00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:24,329
Warren.
61
00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:31,377
So, if they are not puppets,
then would you be my girlfriend?
62
00:02:32,295 --> 00:02:34,505
Mmm, it would definitely help.
63
00:02:36,007 --> 00:02:37,342
Are these lines open or not?
64
00:02:39,469 --> 00:02:40,761
Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
65
00:02:40,803 --> 00:02:42,847
That was very unprofessional.
66
00:02:47,018 --> 00:02:48,478
♪ Hanging out
67
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,106
♪ Down the street
68
00:02:54,192 --> 00:02:56,194
♪ The same old thing
69
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,529
♪ We did last week
70
00:03:01,366 --> 00:03:03,951
♪ Not a thing to do
71
00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:08,122
♪ But talk to you
72
00:03:09,165 --> 00:03:10,958
♪ We're all all right
73
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,542
♪ We're all all right
74
00:03:13,336 --> 00:03:15,296
♪ Hello, Wisconsin! ♪
75
00:03:22,345 --> 00:03:26,556
So, we're finally gonna meet the
mysterious and possibly fictional Nina.
76
00:03:28,351 --> 00:03:30,478
Fictional? Does this
hickey look fictional?
77
00:03:33,398 --> 00:03:36,942
Huh, looks too small to be from
the vacuum cleaner, like last time.
78
00:03:38,444 --> 00:03:40,905
Wait, let me see.
79
00:03:40,946 --> 00:03:44,283
Small, blotchy and uneven.
Ah, this girl's an amateur.
80
00:03:46,911 --> 00:03:50,498
Let me see. Small, blotchy and
unpleasant. Yeah, this girl's a Jackie.
81
00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:58,423
Well, Fez, I am
thrilled that you found a girl
82
00:03:58,464 --> 00:03:59,704
'cause I was starting to worry.
83
00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:05,596
But you've proven me and the
experts from Reader's Digest wrong!
84
00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:12,186
When I introduce her to
everybody, I just want it to be special.
85
00:04:12,228 --> 00:04:15,064
Oh! Let's have a formal
dinner party tomorrow.
86
00:04:16,607 --> 00:04:18,793
You know, it was at a
dinner party that I first realised
87
00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:21,237
Red Forman was more
than just a boy with great hair.
88
00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:25,533
Sounds good, Miss Kitty.
89
00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:28,827
You might be a little past your
prime, but your mind is still sharp.
90
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:37,545
Oh, actually tomorrow night's
not gonna work.
91
00:04:37,587 --> 00:04:39,797
I thought we might
go see Laser Floyd.
92
00:04:39,838 --> 00:04:42,278
Well, you tell this fellow Floyd
that you have a dinner party.
93
00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:46,011
No,
Mom, Laser Floyd's not a guy.
94
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,307
Laser Floyd is Pink
Floyd music with lasers.
95
00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:53,644
Lasers, like in Star Wars.
96
00:04:54,853 --> 00:04:57,022
Mrs. Forman, we'll be here.
97
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,904
Wait. You'd rather go
to a formal dinner party?
98
00:04:59,484 --> 00:05:01,986
Sure. Sounds great.
99
00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:04,572
And don't forget, Mrs. Forman,
you can count Steven and me in.
100
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:05,573
Yeah, I've been
looking for an excuse
101
00:05:05,615 --> 00:05:06,895
to buy him a shirt with buttons.
102
00:05:08,659 --> 00:05:10,661
And since it's
a special occasion,
103
00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:12,955
you're all
allowed one sip of wine.
104
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:18,919
Great! It'll be like Communion,
but without the fun of church.
105
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,133
So, Steven, you know,
I was thinking of getting you
106
00:05:24,175 --> 00:05:27,595
a pair of beige corduroys and
maybe a blue blazer for the party.
107
00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:31,265
Oh, don't forget the
matching scarf and gloves.
108
00:05:33,476 --> 00:05:35,716
This way, I'll be nice and
toasty when hell freezes over.
109
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,984
Uh-oh, Jackie.
Looks like Steven
110
00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,693
doesn't wanna wear
his big-boy clothes.
111
00:05:47,031 --> 00:05:48,533
No, I just don't wanna go.
112
00:05:48,574 --> 00:05:50,385
You know, you should have
asked me before you said I would.
113
00:05:50,409 --> 00:05:54,246
Steven! I am your girlfriend.
I speak for you now!
114
00:05:56,248 --> 00:05:58,848
Well, then, tell yourself I said
to bite me, 'cause I'm not going.
115
00:06:01,879 --> 00:06:05,299
Oh, you are so going!
So just bite yourself!
116
00:06:08,511 --> 00:06:10,513
Man, do you believe that crap?
117
00:06:10,555 --> 00:06:12,348
Tell me about it.
118
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:14,535
Donna wants to go to a dinner
party, we go to a dinner party.
119
00:06:14,559 --> 00:06:17,359
If she wants to go to the arboretum,
bang, I'm in a room full of trees.
120
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,730
God, I hate trees.
121
00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:25,069
So tall and arrogant.
122
00:06:26,028 --> 00:06:27,321
So why don't you just not go?
123
00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:29,407
Oh, it's just one day.
124
00:06:29,448 --> 00:06:30,866
Not for you, man.
You're engaged.
125
00:06:30,908 --> 00:06:32,368
It's Latin for
"screwed for life."
126
00:06:34,537 --> 00:06:37,665
Oh, my God, you're right.
127
00:06:37,707 --> 00:06:39,393
And I have no choice.
I have to do what she says
128
00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:41,177
or she won't let me
touch her naughty places.
129
00:06:43,212 --> 00:06:45,339
Hyde, this is extortion!
130
00:06:45,381 --> 00:06:47,091
You're telling me?
131
00:06:47,132 --> 00:06:49,652
I'm being shaken down by a
95-pound brunette with pink toenails.
132
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:56,934
Kitty? I know this change
of life has upset you
133
00:06:56,975 --> 00:06:58,561
but we just bought
wine the other day.
134
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,347
What are you doing, brushing
your teeth with the stuff?
135
00:07:04,442 --> 00:07:06,193
Red, it's not for me.
136
00:07:07,111 --> 00:07:08,778
Well, this one is.
137
00:07:11,949 --> 00:07:14,243
We're having a dinner party
tomorrow night.
138
00:07:14,285 --> 00:07:18,372
No, can't do it. Battle of
the Network Stars is on.
139
00:07:20,791 --> 00:07:23,252
See, once a year,
they make TV stars
140
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:25,504
compete at things
they're not good at.
141
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:29,508
I look forward all season to watching
Ed Asner try to paddle a canoe.
142
00:07:31,636 --> 00:07:33,512
Makes me feel superior.
143
00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:36,682
Well, you shouldn't
feel superior, because
144
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,726
you know what I
know about Ed Asner?
145
00:07:38,768 --> 00:07:40,478
Ed Asner would come
to my dinner party,
146
00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:41,959
'cause he knows
how to treat a woman.
147
00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:46,191
Did you say "dinner party"?
148
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,633
See, I thought
you... Oh, screw it, I'll be there.
149
00:07:52,281 --> 00:07:55,075
What's this about a party?
150
00:07:55,117 --> 00:07:58,829
Oh, well, we're having a party
tomorrow night for Fez and Nina.
151
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,207
I invited all the kids.
152
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:03,793
I'm a kid.
153
00:08:06,128 --> 00:08:09,089
Well, it's for couples only. You
can come if you bring a date.
154
00:08:09,131 --> 00:08:12,134
Well, it's too late to
find a date. I mean...
155
00:08:12,176 --> 00:08:14,176
Yeah, I'm sweet looking,
but I'm no miracle worker.
156
00:08:18,349 --> 00:08:19,975
Well, maybe if you stop jumping
157
00:08:20,017 --> 00:08:21,852
from girl to girl,
you wouldn't be alone.
158
00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:23,771
You're no Frank Sinatra,
you know!
159
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:29,777
You know, you used to be nice,
but you've changed, lady!
160
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:39,953
Guys, I really
want Nina to like me,
161
00:08:39,995 --> 00:08:41,789
so, please,
avoid the following topics,
162
00:08:45,584 --> 00:08:47,419
my addiction to candy,
163
00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:51,632
the fact that I have needs,
164
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:57,513
and my use of
Alberto VO5 Hot Oil Treatment.
165
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:04,478
Wait. Fez, what does she care
what you use on your hair?
166
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:05,760
Oh, I do not use it on my hair.
167
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,111
Well, heard about
your secret couples party.
168
00:09:14,572 --> 00:09:17,282
And I'm glad I'm not going,
'cause I hate parties.
169
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:20,160
Hey, man, I'm only going
'cause Donna's making me.
170
00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:21,680
At this rate, the only
way I'll see Laser Floyd
171
00:09:21,704 --> 00:09:23,904
is if they project it on a leaf
canopy at the arboretum.
172
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,419
So, don't go to the party.
Act tough, Forman.
173
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,795
I'm not tough.
174
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,922
That's why I said "act."
175
00:09:33,424 --> 00:09:35,467
No one's making me go,
that's for sure.
176
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,928
Oh, that is it, Steven.
As your girlfriend,
177
00:09:37,969 --> 00:09:39,555
I am ordering you
to go to this party.
178
00:09:41,473 --> 00:09:42,933
And as your boyfriend,
179
00:09:42,974 --> 00:09:45,494
I'm ordering you to take your
bossy mouth and flap it elsewhere.
180
00:09:47,312 --> 00:09:48,939
If you flap it at me,
I'll go with you.
181
00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:55,946
Do you hear that, Steven? Michael
wants to go to the party with me.
182
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,407
I'm not going to the party.
183
00:09:58,449 --> 00:09:59,909
Fine.
184
00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,845
Michael, I would love
to go to the party with you.
185
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,913
Kick-ass! I love parties!
186
00:10:14,423 --> 00:10:19,386
Okay, now. These are called
after-dinner conversation cards.
187
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:21,305
Let's try one.
188
00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:27,227
"If you were a bird, where
would you fly?" Donna?
189
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,981
Um... South?
190
00:10:34,359 --> 00:10:36,559
I don't know. I'm nervous.
I feel like I'm on Jeopardy!
191
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,950
If I were a bird,
I'd fly to Laser Floyd.
192
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,996
I'd fly to Tahiti, 'cause the
girls there don't wear tops!
193
00:10:48,290 --> 00:10:50,501
Wait, but then I'd want
to change back into myself
194
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,711
because no lady wants
to make it with a bird.
195
00:10:55,714 --> 00:10:57,633
Wait, can I be a monkey?
196
00:11:02,304 --> 00:11:03,430
Okay.
197
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,016
Nina!
198
00:11:06,057 --> 00:11:09,019
I'd fly to my
favourite place, the DMV.
199
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:14,692
I was just going to say that.
200
00:11:17,402 --> 00:11:19,571
Red, we haven't
heard a peep out of you.
201
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,032
If I was a bird,
I'd fly into a ceiling fan.
202
00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:35,337
Steven, you came,
just like I thought you would.
203
00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:36,547
You buckled!
204
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:38,047
No, I got hungry.
205
00:11:38,841 --> 00:11:40,467
You're in my seat.
206
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,223
Damn, Hyde, now
everyone knows it's a clip-on!
207
00:11:50,895 --> 00:11:53,062
Since you two work at the DMV,
208
00:11:54,356 --> 00:11:56,692
how about you make this
parking ticket disappear?
209
00:11:59,236 --> 00:12:01,613
We can't fix this.
You parked in a fire lane.
210
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,156
Oh, Nina, please.
211
00:12:04,909 --> 00:12:08,119
We're his guests. I'll
take care of it, little buddy.
212
00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,081
No, Fez, he broke the law.
213
00:12:12,123 --> 00:12:13,250
Broke the law?
214
00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:14,585
I was just getting some milk.
215
00:12:14,626 --> 00:12:16,670
But what if there was a fire?
216
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,089
Then I'd pour my milk on it.
217
00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,220
Okay.
218
00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,598
Okay, let's try another card.
219
00:12:30,642 --> 00:12:34,563
"If you could be anyone's
shoe, whose shoe would you be?"
220
00:12:36,105 --> 00:12:37,333
I wouldn't want to
be Red's shoe, 'cause
221
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,108
I think it's about to
go in someone's ass.
222
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:46,408
That's it! I'm watching
Battle of the Network Stars.
223
00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:48,493
I'm with you.
Have fun with Mr. Clip-on.
224
00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:51,872
Yeah, you know what? Me, too.
225
00:12:51,914 --> 00:12:53,122
Wait, you're leaving?
226
00:12:53,164 --> 00:12:54,917
There are lasers
going off right now!
227
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:57,461
Perfectly synchronised lasers!
228
00:12:57,502 --> 00:13:01,006
And all of a sudden,
you're like Lady Dinner Roll,
229
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,608
shaking me down with
her naughty places!
230
00:13:04,593 --> 00:13:06,303
I'm going, too.
231
00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:08,904
Apparently we can eat a man's
food, but we cannot fix his ticket!
232
00:13:11,308 --> 00:13:14,227
Well, what happened
to my dinner party?
233
00:13:14,269 --> 00:13:16,145
I'm sorry, Mrs. Forman,
but Marilu Henner
234
00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:17,707
only gets on
the trampoline once a year
235
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,608
and I'm not gonna miss it.
236
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:27,300
Where the hell does Eric get off
237
00:13:27,324 --> 00:13:29,118
acting like I make him do stuff?
238
00:13:29,158 --> 00:13:30,428
I mean,
it's not like I wanted us
239
00:13:30,452 --> 00:13:32,121
to come to this
dinner party either.
240
00:13:32,161 --> 00:13:34,832
I only did because,
241
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:36,793
well, you're all menopausey
now and you scare me!
242
00:13:37,334 --> 00:13:39,503
Right, you came for me.
243
00:13:39,544 --> 00:13:42,589
Just like I slaved over
a pot roast for all of you.
244
00:13:42,631 --> 00:13:44,716
You want a definition of hell?
245
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,218
Try opening a 400-degree oven
while you're having a hot flash.
246
00:13:49,054 --> 00:13:51,723
We're all here for someone else.
247
00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:54,309
And you know why? It's
right there in front of us, girls.
248
00:13:54,351 --> 00:13:55,936
Women are giving.
249
00:13:56,645 --> 00:13:58,105
I'm not giving!
250
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,607
I'm here for me.
251
00:14:00,649 --> 00:14:03,234
Steven is the one who
should think about others.
252
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,987
I mean, how could
he just ditch me?
253
00:14:05,029 --> 00:14:06,422
Well, Jackie, it might
have something to do
254
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,032
with you trying
to boss him around
255
00:14:08,073 --> 00:14:09,313
and then showing up with Kelso.
256
00:14:09,574 --> 00:14:11,035
She's right.
257
00:14:12,036 --> 00:14:14,121
I know she's right.
258
00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:15,180
But you're not
a part of the group,
259
00:14:15,204 --> 00:14:16,484
and I don't like you, so zip it!
260
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,297
Man, look at you guys,
all forced to hide
261
00:14:24,339 --> 00:14:25,819
in the basement
because of your women.
262
00:14:27,425 --> 00:14:29,970
Hey, I'm not hiding from anyone.
263
00:14:30,012 --> 00:14:31,555
I finally set Donna straight.
264
00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:34,224
Alls you did was babble about
lasers and naughty places.
265
00:14:36,393 --> 00:14:39,270
Man, I thought you
were having a stroke.
266
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,523
Whatever, man. You
caved just like Jackie wanted.
267
00:14:42,691 --> 00:14:44,359
I didn't cave.
268
00:14:44,401 --> 00:14:45,879
Just wanted to make sure
Don Juan el Tardo here
269
00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:47,905
kept his hands off her.
270
00:14:49,364 --> 00:14:51,282
Then how do you
explain the necktie?
271
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,910
I just came from
a business meeting.
272
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:58,916
At least he's putting up
a fight. You just gave up.
273
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,210
Like France.
274
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:07,925
Oh, get off his back, little
buddy. You were at the party, too.
275
00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:12,888
Hey, I fought
the good fight for 30 years.
276
00:15:14,305 --> 00:15:16,225
Now I just agree with what Kitty
277
00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,268
wants to do,
so I can go to sleep.
278
00:15:22,606 --> 00:15:24,149
And I'm not your
"little buddy."
279
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:29,071
Yeah, you're all doomed.
That's funny.
280
00:15:30,781 --> 00:15:32,574
No, we're not all doomed.
281
00:15:33,575 --> 00:15:35,285
One man here still has a chance.
282
00:15:35,326 --> 00:15:38,496
One man can take
a stand for all of us.
283
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,250
And that man's name is...
284
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:44,294
Well, we can't pronounce his
real name, so we call him Fez!
285
00:15:47,464 --> 00:15:49,859
I don't want to take a stand, I
just want Nina to be my girlfriend
286
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:51,593
and give me nooky!
287
00:15:53,511 --> 00:15:55,639
Fez, come on. Give it a try!
288
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,016
It'll be like Battle of the
Network Stars. Think about it.
289
00:16:01,103 --> 00:16:05,065
Welcome back to the
Battle of the Gender Stars,
290
00:16:05,107 --> 00:16:07,358
where it's
the gals with 50 points!
291
00:16:10,028 --> 00:16:12,614
And the guys with zero.
292
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,118
But the guys still have a chance
293
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:20,872
'cause our final event is
conveniently worth 51 points.
294
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,334
You guys are pathetic!
295
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:28,839
Wow, that's some
tough talk, Jamie Farr.
296
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,799
I'm switching to the gals' team.
297
00:16:30,841 --> 00:16:33,343
I can do that, because I
wear a dress on M.A.S.H.
298
00:16:35,971 --> 00:16:38,473
Okay, now let's
meet our contestants.
299
00:16:38,515 --> 00:16:41,392
Representing the gals,
the lovely Nina!
300
00:16:43,228 --> 00:16:45,772
And representing the guys,
the lovely Fez!
301
00:16:51,486 --> 00:16:52,904
Fighters, go!
302
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,452
Make that tart eat some mud!
303
00:16:59,494 --> 00:17:03,040
Oh, I forgot to tell you. We're
going antiquing all weekend!
304
00:17:03,081 --> 00:17:04,624
Oh, like hell we are.
305
00:17:14,718 --> 00:17:17,470
I hate antiquing.
Let's do this thing!
306
00:17:17,512 --> 00:17:21,016
That's right. Gentlemen,
let's go get our cojones back!
307
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,062
I gotta see this.
308
00:17:26,063 --> 00:17:27,397
Hey, man, you coming?
309
00:17:27,438 --> 00:17:29,399
No, I still have my cojones.
310
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,280
My lonely, lonely cojones.
311
00:17:38,408 --> 00:17:41,661
Oh, look who it is. You bake a
brownie, and the bastards come running.
312
00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:45,374
I'm afraid your brownies
are powerless now.
313
00:17:45,415 --> 00:17:47,458
Fez has something to say. Fez?
314
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,626
Can I have a brownie?
315
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,128
Fez!
316
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:53,506
Right, right, right, right.
317
00:17:53,548 --> 00:17:57,344
Nina, I insist you take care of
Red's ticket because I am in charge.
318
00:17:58,970 --> 00:17:59,846
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
319
00:17:59,888 --> 00:18:01,014
Okay.
320
00:18:02,473 --> 00:18:04,142
Man, what the hell?
321
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,103
I have needs.
322
00:18:08,646 --> 00:18:11,108
Nina, if I do everything you
want, would you be my girlfriend?
323
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,860
Can't say no to that!
324
00:18:14,778 --> 00:18:16,446
I cannot believe it!
325
00:18:17,614 --> 00:18:19,449
I have a girlfriend!
326
00:18:21,076 --> 00:18:22,452
So when do we do it?
327
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,085
I am not speaking to you.
328
00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:35,465
Well, at least it'll be quiet
enough to go to sleep.
329
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:44,099
Okay, Donna, when we came up
here, Fez was supposed to... Donna?
330
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,478
Oh, crap.
331
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:53,024
Hey, Steven, look.
332
00:18:53,066 --> 00:18:58,071
Remember how you said that I was
bossy? Well, I think you were right.
333
00:18:58,113 --> 00:19:00,949
So, from now on, if I want you
to do something, I'll ask first.
334
00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:04,053
Well, I just...
Wait, shh, I'm talking!
335
00:19:06,788 --> 00:19:08,790
I am so sorry.
There I go again.
336
00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:12,195
Okay,
here's what I wanted to say.
337
00:19:13,628 --> 00:19:14,879
Would you like to go with me to
338
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,481
the Girl Scout
Alumni Pancake Breakfast?
339
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,638
Jackie,
I'd rather put on a dress
340
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,280
and slow dance with
Kelso on Soul Train.
341
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:32,397
But since you
asked nicely, I'll go.
342
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,317
Yay! Oh, Steven, don't
forget to bring a spatula
343
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:36,799
because I signed
you up as a flipper.
344
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,198
Hey, the flipper
better be the guy
345
00:19:41,239 --> 00:19:42,949
who judges
the Alumni Bikini Contest!
346
00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:46,536
It's not.
347
00:19:47,871 --> 00:19:49,080
Donna...
348
00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:51,166
Wait, let me guess.
349
00:19:51,208 --> 00:19:55,253
Laser Floyd, Laser Floyd,
arboretum, dinner roll, Laser Floyd.
350
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,756
Okay, listen.
No, you listen.
351
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,300
I don't know
what's wrong with you,
352
00:20:00,342 --> 00:20:03,470
if it's genetic, or if you took a
pill from your mother's cabinet.
353
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:07,516
But I'm through
doing stuff for you,
354
00:20:07,557 --> 00:20:09,893
because you don't appreciate it.
355
00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:12,979
Whoa, whoa, wait.
You're doing stuff for me?
356
00:20:15,065 --> 00:20:18,609
Yeah! I went to that dinner
party to make your mother happy,
357
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,611
and I went to the arboretum
because you wanted to.
358
00:20:23,948 --> 00:20:27,577
I wanted to? All I said
was, "Look, the arboretum."
359
00:20:29,538 --> 00:20:31,831
Well, it sounded
like you wanted to go.
360
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,918
I hate trees!
361
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:37,879
I mean, "Ooh, show me trees!"
Does that sound like me?
362
00:20:41,466 --> 00:20:46,179
No. Look, I'm sorry.
363
00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:49,933
I just... I thought you were
gonna make me do girlie crap
364
00:20:49,974 --> 00:20:52,561
for the rest of my life.
365
00:20:52,602 --> 00:20:55,397
Eric, come on. You know
me way better than that.
366
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:59,859
Yeah, you're right.
367
00:20:59,901 --> 00:21:04,406
So, would you like to go see
Laser Floyd next weekend?
368
00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:07,617
Oh, we can't. I signed us up for
this class, Quilting for Couples.
369
00:21:14,749 --> 00:21:15,875
I'm kidding!
370
00:21:17,419 --> 00:21:18,628
It's just for men.
371
00:21:26,470 --> 00:21:31,057
And the canoeing champion for
this year's Battle of the Network Stars
372
00:21:31,099 --> 00:21:33,226
is Red Forman!
373
00:21:34,769 --> 00:21:35,812
My team!
374
00:21:36,854 --> 00:21:38,773
Thanks, Jamie Farr.
375
00:21:38,815 --> 00:21:41,651
And I'd like to give a
special thanks to Ed Asner.
376
00:21:41,692 --> 00:21:45,071
Ed, thanks for paddling
your canoe like a girl.
377
00:21:45,113 --> 00:21:47,449
Where's your spunk now,
you big pansy?
378
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:49,473
http://hiqve.com/
29019
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof