Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,833 --> 00:00:03,961
[Music]
2
00:00:04,128 --> 00:00:05,296
How many licks
does it take
3
00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:06,672
to get to the
tootsie roll center
4
00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:09,967
of a tootsie pop?
5
00:00:10,134 --> 00:00:12,261
One...
6
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:16,557
Two!
7
00:00:16,724 --> 00:00:18,893
Ah, screw it.
8
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,521
Ow, my tooth.
9
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:24,482
Why did I bite?
10
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:27,652
Eric, if you don't want to
wear your ass for a hat,
11
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:31,405
you'll get up here,
pronto.
12
00:00:31,572 --> 00:00:32,823
You'd better go.
You know how
13
00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:35,785
that ass-hat
screws up your hair.
14
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:41,249
Poor forman, huh?
Working for red like that?
15
00:00:41,415 --> 00:00:42,833
I wouldn't wish that
on my enemies.
16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,919
I would.
17
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:48,381
Those suckers
must pay.
18
00:00:50,466 --> 00:00:52,635
Hey, Jackie.
19
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,220
Michael,
why don't you
20
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,805
save the sweet stuff
for the next idiot
21
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,015
who's dumb enough
to date you?
22
00:00:58,182 --> 00:01:01,852
You know, Jackie...
23
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,315
If you're in the market
for a new lover...
24
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:10,987
They say once you go Fez,
you never go back.
25
00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:19,495
In my language,
that rhymes.
26
00:01:21,205 --> 00:01:24,667
Okay. Uh,
where's Donna?
27
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,753
She's upstairs
with forman.
28
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,089
And don't
follow me, Michael.
29
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,550
We've broken up,
and I mean it!
30
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,385
Oh, I wasn't.
31
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:37,430
It's a good thing we're
broken up, because...
32
00:01:38,222 --> 00:01:40,516
Damn it.
I miss her.
33
00:01:41,225 --> 00:01:42,810
Jeez, man.
Who wouldn't?
34
00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,562
Spare me the
sarcasm, Hyde.
35
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:45,980
I am really
hurting here,
36
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,481
and I'm totally
lonely.
37
00:01:47,648 --> 00:01:49,317
Man, I've seen people
gut-shot
38
00:01:49,483 --> 00:01:52,486
who complain
less than you.
39
00:01:52,653 --> 00:01:54,363
Okay, so what do you
miss about her?
40
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,699
All she ever did
was call you names.
41
00:01:56,866 --> 00:02:00,077
Hey, I can do that
for you.
42
00:02:00,244 --> 00:02:03,664
You idiot. See?
43
00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:05,124
Oh. Thanks, Fez.
44
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,169
No problem,
fart-face.
45
00:02:11,255 --> 00:02:14,717
♪ Hangin' out ♪
46
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,220
♪ down the street ♪
47
00:02:18,387 --> 00:02:21,849
♪ the same old thing ♪
48
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,269
♪ we did last week ♪
49
00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:29,315
♪ not a thing to do ♪
50
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,902
♪ but talk to you ♪
51
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:37,281
♪ we're all all right ♪
♪ we're all all right ♪
52
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:39,659
Hello, Wisconsin!
53
00:02:46,582 --> 00:02:50,002
[Whistling]
54
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,008
Do you know the great
thing about whistling?
55
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:58,886
You can stop whistling.
56
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,596
Sorry.
57
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,306
Eric? Bend your knees,
58
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,766
and lift
with your legs,
59
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,184
or else, I'm gonna--
60
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,727
kick my ass, put
your foot in my ass,
61
00:03:06,894 --> 00:03:10,606
make my ass a hat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
62
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:14,527
Jeez, and I didn't think
you were listening.
63
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,945
Oh, and I need you
to re-sticker
64
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,947
those clock radios.
They're on sale.
65
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,407
Yeah, I saw
the flyer.
66
00:03:19,573 --> 00:03:20,950
I already
took care of it.
67
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,494
Really? Well...
68
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,372
Way to show initiative.
69
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,292
Way to show
initiative?
70
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:33,629
What are you
up to?
71
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,757
Nothing. I think
you did a good job.
72
00:03:37,299 --> 00:03:40,803
Okay, but
I'm watching you.
73
00:03:42,346 --> 00:03:44,974
Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late, red.
74
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,309
My, uh, dog
got hit by a car.
75
00:03:47,476 --> 00:03:49,854
I had to rush him
to the vet.
76
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,355
Earl.
77
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,608
Your dog got hit
on Tuesday, too.
78
00:03:54,775 --> 00:03:57,737
How dumb is that dog?
79
00:03:57,903 --> 00:04:00,364
Okay, you're right.
I'm sorry, red.
80
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:01,907
I know you
gave me a break
81
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:03,743
'cause we worked at
the plant together,
82
00:04:03,909 --> 00:04:06,871
and I appreciate it. I
swear it's the last time.
83
00:04:07,037 --> 00:04:09,582
Earl, why can't you
be more like Eric?
84
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,376
I mean, he's--he's 18,
and he's--
85
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:14,336
dad, i'm, uh,
I'm 17.
86
00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:17,673
Eric.
I'm talking here.
87
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,092
And he's already got a better
work ethic than you.
88
00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:22,303
Oh, no doubt there,
red.
89
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,804
Uh, you can tell
he's your son.
90
00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:25,556
He's a super, uh--
91
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,266
Earl.
Mmm?
92
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,809
Let's just
go to work, okay?
93
00:04:28,976 --> 00:04:30,686
Sure. Right after
a cup of Joe.
94
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,773
I'm useless
without my coffee.
95
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,152
Wow.
96
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,988
He must not have had
coffee in years, huh?
97
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,656
[Laughs]
98
00:04:42,823 --> 00:04:45,075
That's pretty funny.
99
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:49,038
Okay, what's up with you?
100
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,171
Hey, kelso.
How's it going?
101
00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:58,881
How's it going?
Great.
102
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,591
Just 'cause a guy
shoots hoops by himself
103
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:01,926
doesn't mean
he's lonely.
104
00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:04,804
No, far from it.
105
00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:06,263
Okay, that's good.
106
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:08,766
Hey, Donna? Um...
107
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,435
You know, all this talk
about being lonely
108
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:15,898
kind of reminds me
of me, you know?
109
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:20,486
Kelso, are you gonna
get all emotional?
110
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,029
'Cause just
'cause I'm a girl
111
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:25,741
doesn't mean I won't
totally make fun of you.
112
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,660
Fair enough.
Okay.
113
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,371
I know I keep things
bottled up,
114
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:34,959
but, you know, underneath
this cool exterior,
115
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:38,170
there's a really sad
human being.
116
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,422
My god. This is
about Jackie.
117
00:05:40,589 --> 00:05:44,009
Yes. All right.
What gave it away?
118
00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:45,636
The fact that it's all
you ever talk about,
119
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:48,639
you stupid dillhole.
120
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,810
Look, kelso. You've got to
get it through your head.
121
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:55,271
Jackie is not
coming back to you.
122
00:05:55,437 --> 00:05:56,897
Why?
123
00:05:57,064 --> 00:05:59,859
Because you slept
with someone else!
124
00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:03,237
Yeah, like,
a month ago. God!
125
00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:11,704
I just realized
Jackie's short.
126
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,747
And I don't like
short people.
127
00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:15,541
They're creepy,
you know?
128
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,669
Always sneaking up
on you.
129
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,423
I don't even know why
I was with her.
130
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:27,011
Maybe it's because
she's a tiny little whore.
131
00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:29,179
Oh. I meant
to hurt you,
132
00:06:29,346 --> 00:06:32,641
but I hurt myself
because I love her.
133
00:06:32,808 --> 00:06:35,519
Hey, guys. I really
cracked red up today,
134
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:39,690
and not by tripping or
getting wet or vomiting.
135
00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:42,234
Did you bump your head?
136
00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:44,612
That's good stuff.
137
00:06:44,778 --> 00:06:48,824
No, I just made a joke,
and he just got it.
138
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,285
I mean, it worked.
We're like, just two guys
139
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:52,828
brought together
by the common goal
140
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:57,249
of slashing prices on
all your household needs.
141
00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:59,710
Plus, I mean,
it is so great
142
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:02,922
to see him chew out
other people.
143
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:04,840
Yeah, forman.
Now you know
144
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,801
how we feel when
he yells at you.
145
00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:10,262
Yeah. It really
is hilarious, man.
146
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:14,058
You get all bug-eyed
and stuttery.
147
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,187
Fellas...
148
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,813
I've been thinking.
149
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,441
There's a lot of ladies
out there, right?
150
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,736
Now, I haven't seen nearly
enough of them naked.
151
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,572
Sometimes, I am looking
at naked ladies,
152
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:31,325
and then I get exhausted.
153
00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:33,535
And then,
I get a second wind,
154
00:07:33,702 --> 00:07:36,455
and then, I'm ready
for more naked ladies.
155
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,291
It's like, at work,
there's this guy Earl,
156
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:40,960
and he's a real
screw-up, right?
157
00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:43,212
So, red gets
pretty p-o'd,
158
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:47,383
but that deflects all
of red's anger from me.
159
00:07:47,549 --> 00:07:50,678
So, I mean, Earl's like...
160
00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:54,223
A dumb-ass lightning rod.
161
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,017
I hear that, man.
Yeah.
162
00:07:57,184 --> 00:07:59,687
I'll only work with
the barely competent.
163
00:07:59,853 --> 00:08:03,023
It takes the stress
out of slacking off.
164
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:07,861
Man, it feels great to
be free of that midget.
165
00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:11,323
Yeah, uh--it's like
the world is my oyster,
166
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:14,201
and I'm ready
to shuck it.
167
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,412
Nothing but hot new
ladies from here on in.
168
00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:17,871
I want to be
boldly going
169
00:08:18,038 --> 00:08:20,290
where no man's
gone before.
170
00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:21,959
[Doorbell rings]
171
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,420
Hello, Mrs. Forman. I'm here
to pick up Laurie.
172
00:08:24,586 --> 00:08:27,089
[Laughs]
173
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,465
No, no, no.
174
00:08:28,632 --> 00:08:30,009
You mean Eric.
175
00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:32,803
No, uh, Laurie.
Your other kid.
176
00:08:33,887 --> 00:08:36,515
But why?
177
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,308
You're dating Laurie?
178
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:39,977
That's not different, man.
179
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:44,023
You're boldly going where
every man's gone before.
180
00:08:46,775 --> 00:08:48,193
Steven, it is not nice
181
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,528
to be so...
182
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,031
Truthful.
183
00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:54,616
Hi, kelso.
184
00:08:55,242 --> 00:08:56,994
Did you
buy me those?
185
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,246
Yeah, just like
you told me.
186
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,623
No. I told you
roses.
187
00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:04,543
Come on, doofus.
188
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,882
No offense,
Mrs. Forman, but...
189
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,761
Those two could make
the dumbest babies ever.
190
00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:17,056
[Laughs]
191
00:09:18,682 --> 00:09:21,727
That's not funny.
192
00:09:29,276 --> 00:09:30,861
[Clears throat]
Speaking of work.
193
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,154
We weren't
talking about work.
194
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,156
Work. Right.
195
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,532
Dad and I
really put in
196
00:09:35,699 --> 00:09:37,284
some hard hours today.
Didn't we, pop?
197
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,120
Yep. Eric's really busting
his hump down there.
198
00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:41,455
Well, I am
just so happy
199
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:44,666
my two fellas work so well
together. [Laughs]
200
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:46,835
Hey, how's Earl doing?
201
00:09:47,002 --> 00:09:48,796
Oh, he's okay.
But his damn dog
202
00:09:48,962 --> 00:09:51,924
can't go a day
without getting hit.
203
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,259
At least I've got
one good man down there.
204
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:57,304
Right back at you,
big guy.
205
00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,389
Well, that Earl's
always been a character.
206
00:09:59,556 --> 00:10:01,642
Yeah, like today,
he was late,
207
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,393
and dad said,
get to work,
208
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,687
and he said,
sorry, red,
209
00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,314
I'm useless
without my coffee."
210
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:09,358
And then, I said...
211
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,111
He must not have had
coffee in years. Right?
212
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:13,695
Yeah.
[Chuckles]
213
00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:15,614
[Laughs]
214
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,241
Well, that's cute.
215
00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:19,743
Yeah, and that's not
even my best Earl joke.
216
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,246
Okay, ready? Knock-knock.
Who's there?
217
00:10:22,412 --> 00:10:24,832
Well, it's not Earl,
'cause he's late.
218
00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:29,294
Yeah, I'm guessing
Earl's not short for early.
219
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:30,838
That's a good one,
red.
220
00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:32,256
I got one. Um...
221
00:10:32,422 --> 00:10:33,841
There once was a girl
from nantucket--
222
00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:36,969
okay, okay.
Let's just all eat.
223
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:48,188
Hey, uh, Laurie?
224
00:10:48,355 --> 00:10:50,691
Yeah, could you, uh...
225
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:53,735
Get out!
226
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:56,989
Thanks.
227
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,325
Come on, kelso.
Come up to my room.
228
00:11:00,909 --> 00:11:03,495
I need you to, um,
help me move my bookcase.
229
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,460
That means we're
gonna have sex.
230
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:14,006
Yeah, thanks for
cracking that code.
231
00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:16,466
Hey, man.
What are you doing?
232
00:11:16,633 --> 00:11:18,218
They're going up
to have sex.
233
00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:20,804
Get the wax
out of your ears.
234
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,641
Man, you can't
bring my sister
235
00:11:24,808 --> 00:11:26,018
down to the basement.
236
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,103
This is our fortress
of solitude.
237
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,565
Well, I'm sorry, but she's my
girlfriend, and I love her.
238
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:34,276
No, you don't.
239
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:36,904
Well, I like her.
240
00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:40,324
No, you don't.
241
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:42,826
I think she is okay,
242
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:47,247
and the line between love
and okay is pretty fine.
243
00:11:47,414 --> 00:11:49,208
But the line between doing
it and not doing it,
244
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:53,086
that's not fine
at all.
245
00:11:53,253 --> 00:11:55,923
Just like the line
between moron and idiot?
246
00:11:56,089 --> 00:11:59,009
Exactly. You know,
it took me months
247
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,594
to get Jackie
in the sack.
248
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,554
Well, Laurie, she
already lets me do it,
249
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:03,889
and plus,
I'm over here
250
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,307
all the time,
anyway,
251
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:10,729
so there's like,
the convenience factor.
252
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:16,401
Kelso, my bookcase isn't
going to move itself.
253
00:12:19,404 --> 00:12:21,949
Or maybe it will.
254
00:12:24,451 --> 00:12:26,787
Damn, I gotta go.
255
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,960
Dumbest babies ever.
256
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,969
Jackie? It's great
to see you so happy.
257
00:12:42,135 --> 00:12:46,306
And strong.
And over kelso.
258
00:12:46,473 --> 00:12:49,768
You're like a rock. You're
like a tiny little rock.
259
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:53,438
Donna, are you trying
to tell me bad news,
260
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,942
or are you making fun
of my butt?
261
00:12:58,485 --> 00:13:00,070
No, your butt's fine.
262
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:01,321
Fine?
263
00:13:01,488 --> 00:13:06,159
Glorious.
Whatever. Look.
264
00:13:06,326 --> 00:13:08,120
Kelso's dating Laurie.
265
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,830
[Gasps]
266
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,457
I don't care.
267
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,501
Oh, come on.
How can you
268
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:15,961
still have
feelings for him?
269
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,838
Donna, I don't have
feelings for him.
270
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:21,591
I just hate that bitch
for making him happy.
271
00:13:21,758 --> 00:13:23,176
Oh, believe me.
She will make him
272
00:13:23,343 --> 00:13:25,637
more miserable
than you ever did.
273
00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:28,974
Oh, Donna. Thank you.
274
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:33,228
I'm gonna pray to god
that you're right.
275
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,405
Laurie, I have
to talk to you.
276
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:48,493
Kelso, we gotta
confab, man.
277
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,495
Okay.
278
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,289
Okay.
279
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:53,665
Too many times
I have sat idly by
280
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:54,958
and watched you
make bad choices.
281
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,669
I've seen you screw up
an awful lot.
282
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:02,174
And sure,
I've enjoyed it.
283
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,217
Both: But now,
you've gone too far.
284
00:14:04,384 --> 00:14:06,803
Do you know what
this is about?
285
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:09,056
Duh. I'm not
an idiot.
286
00:14:09,222 --> 00:14:12,351
Uh-uh.
287
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:17,689
Michael has some
nice qualities, but...
288
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,941
Laurie's got
great legs...
289
00:14:20,108 --> 00:14:23,403
And a fine rack,
but...
290
00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:25,155
He's just a boy.
291
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:28,700
She's a major
skankoid.
292
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:29,993
And you don't know
293
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,870
where a boy like that
will end up.
294
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,163
And you don't know
295
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,874
where a girl like that
has been.
296
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,918
Now, I know. I know
you want a boyfriend
297
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:42,547
who's weak
and easily manipulated.
298
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:44,091
Now, I know
you're weak
299
00:14:44,257 --> 00:14:46,718
and easily
manipulated.
300
00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:47,886
But you have
got to learn
301
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,721
to think
about the future.
302
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:54,684
But you've got
to learn to think.
303
00:14:54,851 --> 00:14:56,311
And...
304
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,647
Both: And make
smart choices.
305
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,065
'Cause
what's convenient
306
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,733
isn't always
what's best.
307
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,568
If it were,
I'd just
308
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:07,614
throw on a muumuu
and eat out of a can.
309
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,450
If it were,
this frozen pizza
310
00:15:10,617 --> 00:15:13,995
wouldn't taste
like monkey butt.
311
00:15:15,288 --> 00:15:17,124
Okay. Are you done
312
00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:19,668
with this
little lecture?
313
00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:22,879
Okay. You done
with that pizza?
314
00:15:24,464 --> 00:15:26,258
Both: Yes.
315
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,302
And I think
I've made my point.
316
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,598
[Thinking] Oh, god.
317
00:15:33,765 --> 00:15:35,475
I've got to get
my own place.
318
00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:36,852
[Thinking]
This doesn't taste
319
00:15:37,018 --> 00:15:39,688
like monkey butt.
320
00:15:41,022 --> 00:15:42,399
Oh, jeez, red.
I'm sorry I'm late
321
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,401
for our
little meeting.
322
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,361
My, uh, dog got--
323
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:49,156
uh, car got hit
by a, uh...
324
00:15:49,322 --> 00:15:53,368
Car. Accident.
That's the word.
325
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,288
Eric? Take your break
anywhere but here.
326
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,044
Earl...
327
00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:04,963
You're fired.
328
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:09,259
What? What did I do?
329
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,595
What did you do?!
330
00:16:11,761 --> 00:16:13,972
I'll tell you
what you did.
331
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:19,019
[Angry gibberish]
332
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,333
And another thing.
333
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:45,504
[Angry gibberish]
334
00:16:48,715 --> 00:16:51,051
Hi. How was your day?
335
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,303
I had to let Earl go.
336
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,180
Let Earl go?
337
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,475
You yelled at him
until he cried.
338
00:16:59,392 --> 00:17:01,978
Hey. What kind
of a man cries
339
00:17:02,145 --> 00:17:04,773
after only 15 minutes
of yelling?
340
00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:07,359
Well, I'm sorry.
I don't like
341
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:08,944
the way
you handled Earl.
342
00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,446
Dad, he was
your friend.
343
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,657
Eric, hush, hush,
hush, hush.
344
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,453
Eric, work is work.
345
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,039
You don't show up late,
you don't make excuses,
346
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,291
and you don't not work.
347
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,503
If it wasn't work,
they wouldn't call it work.
348
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:31,591
They'd call it super-wonderful,
crazy-fun time.
349
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:34,302
Or skippity-doo.
350
00:17:34,469 --> 00:17:36,805
Oh, jeez. Why the hell
am I even talking to you?
351
00:17:39,307 --> 00:17:40,934
Oh, Eric.
352
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:44,104
Why did you have to go
and upset your father?
353
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,022
I can't have
my own opinion
354
00:17:46,189 --> 00:17:47,649
without him
tearing my head off?
355
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:49,609
No.
356
00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:52,862
And I think at your age, you
should know that by now.
357
00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:56,074
Well, no, mom, no.
Uh-uh.
358
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,159
Man, we had such a good
thing going at work,
359
00:17:58,326 --> 00:17:59,828
and he just
wrecked that.
360
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,621
And by the way,
without Earl,
361
00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:06,251
I'm back
to dumb-ass.
362
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:10,046
He's just--
he's just mean.
363
00:18:10,213 --> 00:18:12,966
Oh, you shut
your porky mouth, mister.
364
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,593
Well then,
it just stinks
365
00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:16,136
because,
you know what?
366
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,262
This is
the first time
367
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:21,057
we were ever like, you
know, cool with each other.
368
00:18:21,808 --> 00:18:23,018
Man, why does
he have to be
369
00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:24,436
such a hard-ass
all the time?
370
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,062
Oh, come on, Eric.
371
00:18:26,229 --> 00:18:28,189
That's how
he expresses himself.
372
00:18:28,356 --> 00:18:31,484
That's how he's always
expressed himself.
373
00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:35,488
Your father yells at you
because he cares.
374
00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:38,491
Yeah, right. Well, if that's
true, then...
375
00:18:38,658 --> 00:18:40,035
Then...
376
00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:41,328
Stand up straight.
377
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:42,871
You're
a dumb-ass.
378
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,081
You call this
a report card?
379
00:18:45,248 --> 00:18:49,336
Hands above
the covers.
380
00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:52,213
Huh.
381
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:55,216
I guess he really,
really cares.
382
00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:57,010
And...
383
00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:00,430
If not, you're--
you're moving out soon.
384
00:19:09,272 --> 00:19:13,777
So. You know
who I hate?
385
00:19:13,943 --> 00:19:16,613
Laurie.
386
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,406
Oh, Jackie. I know
you're upset
387
00:19:18,573 --> 00:19:20,950
and--and in pain,
388
00:19:21,117 --> 00:19:22,369
but you're
not going to talk
389
00:19:22,535 --> 00:19:25,372
during Hollywood
squares, are you?
390
00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:27,290
No, I mean,
I really do hate her.
391
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,417
No offense, Eric,
but your sister...
392
00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:31,753
She's a slut.
393
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,338
Oh, my god.
394
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,548
Jackie, not since
the smoky vs. Bandit debate
395
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:38,718
have you and I so been
on the same page.
396
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,345
Yeah, I think
we're all on board.
397
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:41,721
God,
this is so great.
398
00:19:41,888 --> 00:19:46,976
You guys all hate
Laurie and love me.
399
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,483
Yeah, we all hate Laurie.
400
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:58,029
Shh. Oh, great.
401
00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:01,616
Lambchop had a joke,
and I missed it.
402
00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:06,454
Hey, guys.
403
00:20:06,621 --> 00:20:09,040
Oh, hi, Michael.
404
00:20:09,749 --> 00:20:12,210
Kelso, as your
new girlfriend,
405
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,503
I'm really
not comfortable
406
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,046
with your
old girlfriend
407
00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:17,382
hanging out
down here.
408
00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:19,759
Okay.
409
00:20:19,926 --> 00:20:21,803
Uh, hey, Jackie,
do you mind?
410
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,931
No. No, I don't mind
if you leave.
411
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:30,478
She's not leaving.
412
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,815
Well, I'm not,
either.
413
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,443
She's not, either.
414
00:20:36,609 --> 00:20:38,027
Fine.
415
00:20:38,945 --> 00:20:40,071
Fine.
416
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:41,865
Fine.
417
00:20:42,657 --> 00:20:43,700
Fine.
418
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,410
Hey!
This is my house.
419
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,871
So what?
Eric wants me here.
420
00:20:48,037 --> 00:20:49,622
Don't you, Eric?
421
00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:53,418
Why, yes, I do.
422
00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:56,880
You better
watch your back.
423
00:20:57,046 --> 00:20:58,757
Really? 'Cause you...
424
00:20:58,923 --> 00:21:01,926
Should stop spending
so much time on yours.
425
00:21:03,636 --> 00:21:06,181
Ohh. Burn!
426
00:21:06,347 --> 00:21:08,892
[Laughs]
427
00:21:10,268 --> 00:21:12,437
Hey, I'm sorry.
I just got swept away
428
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:15,064
by the supergood burn.
429
00:21:15,231 --> 00:21:16,566
Shut up!
430
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,818
Aah--aah--aah.
431
00:21:20,987 --> 00:21:22,322
Jackie?
432
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:23,990
That was
an excellent burn.
433
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:25,617
Thank you, Fez.
434
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,912
Now, please.
Sit next to Fez.
435
00:21:31,706 --> 00:21:34,250
Move it.
436
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,424
What the hell
were you doing
437
00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:42,967
in the shower
so long?
438
00:21:43,134 --> 00:21:44,469
You know
it wastes water,
439
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:45,887
and it might
make me late.
440
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,555
In fact,
I am definitely
441
00:21:47,722 --> 00:21:50,433
not gonna be the first
person there.
442
00:21:51,726 --> 00:21:53,228
You know how
that makes me look?
443
00:21:53,394 --> 00:21:57,315
Damn it. You've got to grow up
and learn some responsibility.
444
00:21:57,482 --> 00:21:59,442
Captioning made possible by carsey-Werner
productions and fox broadcasting company
445
00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:02,737
I love you, too, dad.
446
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:05,990
What? Stop being weird.
447
00:22:06,157 --> 00:22:08,785
Thanks.
448
00:22:08,809 --> 00:22:13,809
http://hiqve.com/
30523
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof